I was recently thinking of a new way to describe to my spouse (and to myself) how my mind works when it comes to performing tasks. This is a regularly occuring conversation, as her needs and mine often run counter to each other and leave us both frustrated. I have trouble understanding even my own reactions to things, let alone hers, so I try to explain them in new terms occasionally to see if it makes things click.

Anyway, I came up with one that I found apt and kinda fun, if maybe a bit sad in places: a DnD 5e character sheet. For the purposes of this exercise, the sheet is for a sorcerer, not a wizard (learning new tasks happens slowly, almost at random) and the Frustration mechanic is effectively identical to Exhaustion in the PHB.

Here it is. I'm curious if any of you have thoughts on this or find it feeling familiar.

Spell list:

Cantrips:

Relax
Read
Eat
Get ready for bed ¹

1st level:

Choose to go to bed ²
Get ready to leave
Choose a meal
Prepare a meal
Work on dishes
Take out trash
Do laundry
Other chores
Do a favor (unasked)*

2nd level:

Do a favor (asked)*
Stifle frustration ³

3rd level:

Do a big favor (asked)*
Dismiss frustration ⁴

Feat - People Pleaser: When casting "Do a favor (unasked)", roll a d20. On a 15 or higher, cast as a cantrip instead. When casting "Do a favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, add 1 level of frustration. When casting "Do a big favor (asked)", roll a d20. On a 10 or lower, add 1 level of frustration.

Feat - Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures: Regenerate 1 spell slot of any level. Add 1 level of frustration.

Feat - Self Soothe: whenever casting a cantrip, roll a d20. On a 19 or 20, remove 1 level of frustration.

Curse - Temper: whenever casting a spell of 1st level or higher, roll a d20 with advantage. On a 2 or lower, add a level of frustration.

Curse - Social Anxiety: when interacting with another character, roll a d20. On a 5 or lower, burn 1 spell slot or add 1 level of frustration.

¹ Must be cast on the turn following casting "Choose to go to bed." Otherwise, this becomes a 1st level spell.

² After casting this spell, any spell other than a cantrip must be cast one level higher than usual (e.g., 1st level spells can only be cast using 2nd level spell slots).

³ Temporarily remove 1 level of frustration. It returns after d20X10 minutes.

⁴ Permanently remove 1 level of frustration.

This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

The Great, The Lionheart, Our Lady of the Grackles, Olaf the Holy, Athena Glaukopis (grey-eyed), Emperor Youngzheng (meaning The Just/Justified), Amenhotep the Magnificent, Solomon the Wise, Much-Enduring Odysseus, The King of Pop, The Sultan of Swat, the Iron Lady, and perhaps for someone, Couch Potato are all epithets. For folks unfamiliar with the term, an epithet is a descriptive word or phrase that accompanies or replaces the name of a person. (Before surnames this was often used too just not passed down, with some of the occupational ones "the Smith" turning into surnames "Smith"

Sometimes it's used to distinguish Charles the Fat from Charles the Bald, or just to tell people you think they're Great (or Terrible), but it wouldn't be the same as just calling Charles bald today, it's how you actually refer to him. Homer used it a lot, and so did Shakespeare. And it has continued through the present with Oz the Great and Powerful, The Man of Steel, and King James.

So, my fellow Tildis, if you were to have one, what would be your epithet? Feel free to choose one that you want or share what you think others would call you. Or ask for others to give you an appellation directly if you so desire!

Well, I have a lot of stuff going on.

In May, I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in Computer Science. That was good, and I was glad to do so. After that I took a short well deserved break. It feels so good not to have to go to class and listen to a lecture from a lecturer who doesn't want to be there.

Now that I have my degree, I need to find a job that uses that degree. (or any thing remotely related) That may sound simple enough, but it is tough.

I don't know what I want to do with my degree. That's hard for me to say, but it's true. Like I have always been looked at as someone who was "smart" and "had it together" or "had a straight path". Very much not. Anyway, I don't know what all that degree qualifies me for. I know it opens me up to the development field. I did a lot of programming through college and between, but it's not something I really enjoy. I am not particularly bad at it. It just not something I really want to be doing 100% of the time all the time. Then there is the IT field. I am not so sure where I really would like to go in IT though. Support is not really an ideal place for me. I am terrified of the idea of having to talk on a phone. I can do in person support better. Then there is infrastructure. I am kinda interested in infrastructure, but it is huge. I don't even know what to look for in that area. I am just a kid with a CS degree, I don't have this figured out.

I live in the middle of nowhere. or at least it feels like it (rural central Arkansas) You have to really look at the next city over for anything. Even then most things I see are out of the capital. There is nothing bad about any of this. I got my degree in the next city over, drove there every day. The capital is only 40 - 50 minutes away.

It feels like everyone wants to see experience. Either directly or indirectly. This is hard for me. I don't have any professional experience at all. I have some personal projects I have worked on. I do have those listed in my resume. I don't feel that helps that much. I spent my time getting that degree, not working.

Family is troublesome. In many many ways. They are always like "you need to get a job", "have you found anything yet", "are you filling out a job application". Like please leave me alone about this. I am doing what I am doing. You don't have to know every single thing about me. I am me, not you. Troublesome and frustrating. Another thing is they are stuck in the past. Two of them are going deaf. One of them is nuts, and does not know how to respect privacy at all. Its a lot. It leaves me with an annoying bootstrapping problem I have to solve. I still live with my parents, with my grandparents next house over. I have to get a place that is away from family. To do that I need to get a job. To really look hard, and even want to do so and not just do some and get frustrated, I need to get away from family. There are solutions. Just go elsewhere and look for stuff. Not easy when they always want to know where you are all the damn time. Always wanting you to keep them updated and know where you are. I have a few tricks, location services is very inaccurate when wifi is turned off. I also can just say "I am going somewhere", and when they ask more I just say "I am 23 blooming years old". Not the kind of trouble I want to go through all time. Family is frustrating. Even more so, when you are an introvert and just want to be alone for a while. When you get into actually doing something, they come to you to ask about something. "do you know where this [item] is?", "I need you to do this [task]". It's like they can sense when you are actually focus or are just vibing or actually happy. They go on and complain that you snap at them. When they were the ones that were interrupting a rare moment of focus, or appear out of nowhere. Annoying to say the least. Never the one to actually win. By default, "I am older and know more then you", "I gave birth to you". Saying I am in trouble when I do nothing wrong. Like when I got in trouble for going to my grandparents house early in the morning during the summer. Lost all trust that summer. Or when I shared some cinnamon rolls that I bought with my grandparents. Got into trouble for not bringing my parents any. It was just a kind gesture and I am made to feel like I don't care about anybody over it. Troublesome and difficult.

If you just read all that, thanks. I promise I am decently put together in real life. That is rawer then I would usually like to put out.

So far I still don't have a good title for this post so I guess I'll just add some more.
I have not found anything yet. I have not applied to many places yet. I did apply to a regional ISP and got an interview, but was rejected for lack of work history to show I can deal with phone support, and for potential lack of clarity. I applied to a local audio cable manufacturer, but was caught by ats or lack of checking. Actually applied to their website for that one. I have asked some of the local Facebook groups "who was hiring locally in CS / IT fields". I got a few responses from it. A pyramid scheme. Someone who would look at their employer. They didn't have anything open, but at least they have my information now. Someone who is likely looking more so for a general laborer then an IT person. I still kinda want to hear them out, but they still haven't said anything else to me. I have brushed up my LinkedIn. I have also signed up for more accounts then I would have liked. I have talked with a local employment agency, but I don't think they will find anything like what I am looking for.

Well, its a process, and I am just at the beginning. If you do have any advice for my job search I would be glad to read it.

TLDR: Dotz graduated and is looking for a job, then rants about family.

I had heard about GLG a while ago and I was just approached by someone from GLG for a project. Does anyone have experience working with them specifically? I have never done any paid consulting gigs and I want to make sure I understand what I'm getting into.

Thanks!

I would like to upgrade my aged 8 years old laptop and I'm completely undecided about which laptop to buy right now.

I considered Apple Intel laptops terrible, bad thermals, overpriced, unreliable, touch bar (uggg), I hated every second working on it, when the company I work for upgraded me with a M1, it was such a huge improvement from any laptop I have ever tried, absolutely no noise, incredibly performant and the longest battery life of any laptop by a lot.

I still don't like the Apple ecosystem, and I would prefer to use Linux as my main OS, but I can't find anything that comes even closer for the price of a Mac Air, If I go with Framework I'll get a less performant machine with a way worse battery, I honestly don't think the premium on repairability is worth for me when I don't have any issues repairing more challenging laptops, at the end repairability will be how easy is to get new parts.

ThinkPads have good reputation and repairability, but for what I see, the quality has gone down the drain in their latest models, and if I go with their premium models I get similar performance to Apple with worse battery, Dell has similar issues.

Gaming laptops are not an option, I don't do any PC gaming and the size and aesthetics are a dealbreaker for me.

The main issue seems to be that until ARM processors become better competitors to Apple, the battery life will be always the bottleneck, and I don't know how good the new Snapdragon X Elite compares right now.

Besides web development, photography edition and video editing (4k), I don't do many demanding tasks, I'm more than fine with the performance of a M1 as the baseline.

As an alternative, I'm thinking about getting a powerful desktop for the demanding tasks and a less powerful laptop with a good battery and screen, but ideally I would prefer a single machine.

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

It only now just occurred to me after reading the username thread that people actually recognize each other on Tildes by username. I certainly recognize a few of the "big" usernames but otherwise I kind of have username blindness. I was absolutely shocked to see someone tag me and more shocked to see that someone remembered even a single thing I had ever posted.

I'll start:

@cfabbro is pretty on top of things around here. Super knowledgeable about various topics and a stickler for the rules in a really positive way that demonstrates their love for the community and their desire to keep it special. One of the most important Tilderinos (or Tildos, which is my personal favorite that someone suggested a while back). Thanks for all that you do, and if you're the one who has to go though and fix my god-awful tags then a double thanks and a sincere apology.

@boxer_dogs_dance, like cfabbro has a very wide range of interests and is quick to share interesting tidbits of information that a lot of people may not know. I think I have disagreed cordially with boxerdogs a few times maybe? But I have a good impression of them overall.

@deimos is a bit like God, which I think works on multiple levels. The highest power, behind-the-scenes, hard to prove his existence. I have a conspiracy theory that he uses alt accounts to participate anonymously, which I think would be a really smart thing to do. Joking aside, I think Tildes' resiliency and ability to maintain its small town vibe while being quite large is due mostly to his political/philosophical genius. The guiding principles for this site and moderation style have made this a pretty awesome place to be. Case in point: The few times I saw people complain about Tildes' moderation on other websites, I was able to immediately see why that person wasn't a good fit here. They were people who didn't even understand that they were being antisocial or were playing coy when they knew exactly what they were doing. Keeping Tildes more or less free of that stuff is one of the greatest internet achievements I've ever seen.

Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

I've been thinking perhaps I'll need to get one of the desktop LLM UI. I've been out of touch with the state of the art of end user LLM as I've been exclusively using it via API, but tech-y people (who are not developers) mostly talk about the end-user products that I lack the knowledge of.

Ethical problems aside, the problem with non-API usage is, even if you pay, I can't find one that have better privacy policy than API. And the problem with API version is that it is not as good as the completed apps unless you want to reinvent the wheel. The apps also may include ads in the future, while API technically cannot as it would affect some downstream usecases.

As a dual use technology, the table doesn't include the extra retention period if they detect an abuse. Additionally, if you click on thumbs up/down it may also be recorded for the provider's employee to review.

I don't think OpenWebUI, self hosted models, etc. would suffice if they are not built to the same quality as the first party products. I know I'm probably asking for something that doesn't exists here, but at least I hope it will bring to people's attention that even if you're paying for the product you might not get the same privacy protection as API users.

Id never heard the terms satisfier or maximizer til I was having a discussion with my then girlfriend about the difference in the way we select things. The difference became apparent when she wanted to buy a new lawnmower. We walked into a big box store, she looked at a row of 10 mowers and said "I want that one" pointing at the second one. Being a maximizer I thought she meant that was her first choice out of the 10 options here but obviously we had two more stores and many more options to check out.

Nope.

She meant she had looked them over in 2 minutes and THAT mower was her final choice.

I honestly was quite surprised. "You don't wanna shop around? Compare features? Compare prices?" No, that's not what satisfiers do. Satisfiers just find the first thing that satisfies their needs and go with it.

Which is why my wife can select anything and everything very quickly and I end up making a spreadsheet to do a thorough cost benefit analysis on anything important. I even had one when I was dating for every woman I went out for coffee. And fortunately, she didn't - she just started reverse alphabetically and since my username was near the end of the alphabet I won the luck of the draw.

And here we are happily celebrating our 15th anniversary next week. Who says you gotta be the same to be compatible lol?

Are you a satisfier or a maximizer?

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

I went down the path of thinking about switching to Passkeys but it seems like more hassle than it is worth, so I hoped this community could tell me if I am crazy.

I use Bitwarden to generate and save passwords for anything important and always use an authentication app when the option is present. I never use the same password. Sadly, most Canadian banks are awful and only allow SMS 2FA if anything at all. That said, of the two banks I primarily use, one does allow an authentication app and the other uses its own app to send authentication codes.

I always read that Passkeys are better for people who are lazy/bad with their passwords. For someone like me, is the security practically the same or is there still some benefit to switching everything I can to Passkeys?

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

When Musk bought Twitter and "unleashed free speech" on the platform, it made me curious about other social media platforms, specifically one where data and privacy are much more respected.

That inevitably lead me to mastodon. I opened an account and all that, but I must be doing it wrong, or maybe mastodon just isn't what I want it to be.

I don't really know who or what to follow on there that would create an experience that draws me in.

In fairness, it could just be that I am not following interesting accounts but I follow 7 accounts

• grapheneOS which is just updates about their O.S.
• Daniel Micay who hasn't posted in a loooong time
• James Gunn rarely posts
• nixCraft is just memes

and the rest are just news outlets like Ars Technica, Electronic Frontier Foundation and Propublica, which ain't bad but like, they post links to long-form articles, which isn't really what you are really looking for if you are just doing a light skim of your feed for a quick 5 minutes.

Are interesting folks not on mastodon? or I am just not following the right accounts? Im interested in tech stuff and social issues and some politics (but not much cause that can get doom scrolly fast)

This is the fourteenth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing A People's Future of the United States. Our next book will be A House with Good Bones by Kingfisher at the end of June

This was our first collection of short stories. Please feel free to discuss any story you read regardless of whether you finished the collection.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

I enjoy Tildes a lot for its thoughtful discussion and well curated links. It's a site you can enjoy casually and not get addicted to.

But sometimes you're dealing with a cold, or laying in a hotel room after a long flight, or just feeling lousy, and you start to long for that infinite scroll, dopamine hit, image / video cornucopia. Or really, there are just times I want to laugh at memes, people's drama, etc., until I'm ready to get out of bed and back to the world.

In the old days, we had things like memebase, or early reddit to scratch that itch. But these days social media algorithms have gone nuts. For example, I can't spend five minutes on reddit without finding myself in a racially charged discussion. Platforms like TikTok likewise seem appealing (an endless scroll of silly videos would be great), but again the algorithms are there to highlight conflict and make you miserable. I feel like even if you work hard to curate on these platforms, you're not safe.

So for anyone who feels like me: is there a solution to this? Perhaps a fedeverse instance still small enough to avoid astroturfing. Or non social-media options with a huge amount of content (something like thedailywtf, or hitting random on a quality web comic). I would love to hear about what you enjoy when you're looking for internet junk food.

I'm building a fun bit of code that uses public APIs to track the location of unusual orbital objects. Including the Tesla Roadster still drifting somewhere between us and Mars, the "Trash Bag object" orbiting Earth, Oumuamua, and some famous satellites like the Voyager probes.

What would you include in a highlight reel of random stuff moving around in our solar system? I leave the scope as broad as possible: an observable object in our solar system of any size or mass.

Next week we will be discussing the City We Became. Our next book discussion after that will be at the end of January.

I've organized this schedule so that longer books are followed by shorter ones. I look forward to reading with you.

Last week in January : Kim Stanley Robinson Ministry for the Future,

Last week in February: Trevor Noah Born a Crime,

Last week in March: Dan Simmons Hyperion,

Last week in April: Adrian Tchaikovsky Elder Race,

Last week in May: Victor LaValle a People's Future of the United States,

Last week in June: T Kingfisher A House with Good Bones,

Last week in July: James McBride the Heaven and Earth grocery Store,

Last week in August: Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut

Last week in September: Ted Chiang Stories of Your Life and Others

I have a Moto G 5G 2023 and 2025 Chevy Trax that I'm trying to troubleshoot why Android Auto cannot last more than 10 minutes without crashing out and needing to either wait for the connection to be available again, or unplug and replug the USB cord to get it to reconnect. Sometimes it goes for an extended period of time, and sometimes it won't last for longer than a minute before it crashes with no visible error on the phone. I think it might be something in RAM, but more often than not it's when Google Maps is up, with Audible in the background and I'm not sure if it's one of those or possibly my Launcher or having the three buttons turned on for my phone, or some weird esoteric thing.

I’m finally making the plunge to getting a bread maker, now that the price of bread has gone up to a stupid amount and I finally realized four months of buying bread every other day will pay for the machine itself. (Flour is cheap, yeast is cheap.) There are only really three machines available where I live, so I’m pretty set on the machine itself.

Since I’ve never had a bread maker, do y’all have any advice, favorite recipes, suggestions?

As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!

Back in January I was tasked by my brother in law to create a murder mystery parlor game during our family reunion in an Irish castle. Well we just got back last night, and it ended up being one of the most fun vacations of my life.

This is a family of social over-achievers. Super engaged professionals and executives and teachers. A dozen of them would stay up every night drinking and laughing til 2am, sleep 5 hours, then do it all over again. I have trouble keeping up, so I'm glad the game I designed happened on one of the first nights. At first, the mastermind behind this whole trip only gave me 90 minutes for the middle of the day but he lost control of the schedule and I got my three hours in the dark as is proper for a game like this.

All 21 players absolutely committed, bringing vintage costumes and props across the Atlantic for this one night. I created a deck of character cards for each of them, as well as a number of other special prop and event cards, and as they were all getting dressed I texted them their roles.

This was the first hangup. The castle had very poor cell and wifi reception so the texts didn't go through. But all 22 of us had iPhones so I ended up AirDropping everyone's character and gave them personal, private notes. I wouldn't mention the tech glitch otherwise, but this absolutely changed my own strategy as the dead victim, Lord Reginald Springfield. I thought I would be in a kind of control room with my laptop receiving texts from the butler or others when they found certain props. But because they couldn't communicate like that, I had to shadow them through the rooms and sprint like the devil in anticipation of their next moves to certain parts of the castle and its grounds.

Having never done this, and certainly not at this scale, I was surprised by several of their own strategies. At the outset, the butler convened (most of) the group and announced the reading of the will. Then the cops showed up to tell everyone the will was missing, Lord Springfield was poisoned and dead in bed, and that they were all suspects. The Inspector and Constable then began interviewing the subjects one by one.

I'm aware that normal police procedure is to isolate suspects for interviews, specifically to compare notes and find the lies afterward. But I didn't think these two players were aware of that. Turned out I was wrong. Instead of interviewing everyone in front of each other, they squirreled each suspect away and gave them the business, taking copious notes that they shared with no one.

Taking their own cues from this, when the suspects began making their own conjectures and discovering clues, they shared them with absolutely no one unless forced. It was perfect game theory. I just didn't expect these competitive bastards to be so very competitive. It was fantastic. The chaos agents played their parts beautifully, muddying the waters, and the spiritualists spent all their time trying to find all seven of their number to convene a seance. Once they did, I raced into my room and put on a long white nightgown and drew a kind of kabuki corpse makeup on my face. They were racing around in the courtyard outside in the last of the sun and I tap...tap...tapped on the window until one of them saw me, an apparition in a castle window. Classic imagery. She pointed and screamed.

All seven spiritualists (except for the devilish Colonel, who only pretended to be one so he could eavesdrop on the seance) piled into the parlor and held hands. I started walking down the upstairs hall toward them moaning a very haunting melody line from an early Frank Zappa album over and over, then entered the parlor. They said their hair stood on end lol. I whispered my answers then disappeared and later, my widow Lady Eleanor found the burned note in the fireplace of that room.

Tremendous dramatic moment here: That's the note that revealed I wrote them all out of the will and left the entire estate to Madame DuBois. But Eleanor of all people found it and you could see her internal torment. Then she turned away from them all and didn't share it. For nearly another hour they labored to puzzle out the clues while she acted out very well the utter destruction of her life. Absolutely choice stuff.

The twist I had planned is that most of the clues pointed toward Vicar Atkinson and he himself only knew that he blacked out after an argument with the victim. So his card tells him that he is almost certainly guilty and if they accused him, to flee. The line of his card at the end is my personal favorite: But if they actually do accuse you, your only chance is to run. That Inspector is old and the Constable is a woman. How fast can she be? I don't think that Tyler (the vicar) knew that his west coast cousin Lena (Constable Wright) was a huge track star, 100 meters champion, crowned fastest girl in San Francisco two years in a row. I wanted to see her run his ass down like The Flash.

But alas, the real murderer, Hanne (Ingrid) is from Hamburg, Germany and although her card told her she had poisoned the victim while leaving no clues, and that all she had to do was keep a poker face and she was in the clear, she simply couldn't do it. Asking a proper German hausfrau to lie to the police, even in a FUCKING GAME, was too stressful for her and she broke down and confessed the entire thing. I'd hoped to finish this neat and tidy Agatha Christie affair with an accusation and arrest of the vicar, delighted by the idea that justice was NOT served and the wrong man was convicted. Very post-modern take on the whole thing. Two days later I shared all my notes as planned and that was when I'd expected them to realize they'd let the real killer slip away... But never count on duplicity from a Teutonic mind.

We took antique photos of everyone's insane costumes which I can't share for privacy. But they were perfect. It was an absolute smash hit, with people spending the rest of the week recounting the plots and sub-plots and attacking each other in character. The next night was a family trivia night. The following night was a filming of two musical scenes from Rocky Horror. The following night we rented a traditional Irish band and they gave us a concert in the 15th century hall. We took day trips to Dingle and Limerick and Cork and I hiked and biked and two days ago I was swimming in the Shannon River outside Killaloe.

An excellent trip all around. Thanks for reading. Happy to answer any and all questions and yeah now I guess I have a side hustle as a murder mystery game designer if anyone needs me.

Hello tilderers, I have a dilemma I'm having that I'd like perspective on.

I often find myself doing things not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel obligated to. It is better if I do X than if I don't do X, so I should do X, even if I don't want to.

Though overall I don't consider "feeling obligated" a positive nor sustainable emotion to have.

These are often tied to social etiquette and maintaining a status quo at the sacrifice? of your own comfort.

Examples:

You're an introverted so tend to not desire social activity as much, but understand socializing is good for maintaining relationships so you accept invites regardless of whether you have true desire to be out for the person/occasion/event.

You should get a gift for Y because it's their birthday/Christmas because it's an expected, nice gesture but you don't really have a gift in mind or tendency of gift giving.

Z does something nice for you, pays for your dinner/got a gift/done a favor, but was not something you wanted Z to do or asked them to do. Yet now you feel indebted to give back.

General occasions where social and emotional reciprocation is expected and you're not entuned to reciprocate necessarily. And the general consequence of not reciprocating is weakening relationships/negativity from others etc.

Where is the line between doing whatever you feel/comfortable with (selfishness/self centered?) and doing things because you are socially obligated to (caring about what other people think/feel about you).

What is the resolution to negative feelings of obligation?

How can obligation turn to desire?

How does one perspective shift in this way?
You do this not because you have to, because you want to do this.

Follow-up to my one gallon post here.

And technically, it's 5 gallons and 3 pints after this morning's platelet donation. I'd hit the five gallon milestone with my last one but didn't realize it. Never too late to celebrate though!

One of my co-workers is also a regular donor, and we've bonded over it. One time we were at lunch, eating in the teachers' lounge with a bunch of our colleagues. We were having a group conversation about blood donation, the pain of sticks, the fears of something going wrong, etc. It was kind of a downer conversation about the whole thing. After the group moved on to a different topic, she quietly leaned toward me and whispered "this is going to sound weird, but I actually like doing it."

She couldn't have found a better person to confide in! I feel exactly the same way.

It sounds weird that I like having someone stick needles in my arm and withdrawing my life force. It sounds even weirder when I say that I like donating platelets, in which I can't move my arms for two hours, and also the tape they use rips out my arm hair (this genuinely is worse than the needle sticks, by the way).

I think that's framing it the wrong way though.

I like doing it because it's something I can easily do, it doesn't cost me anything, and I know I'm helping people out. I read a comment online once about donating that stuck with me. It said something to the effect of:

The person who will be getting your donation is undergoing much worse, and they also don't have a choice in the matter.

I think about this in those times where I am a little anxious or nervous that things might hurt.

Yes, the sticks are painful sometimes. Yes, my arm hair getting ripped out is uncomfortable. Yes, sometimes I need to scratch my nose and I simply can't and I want to crawl out of my skin for a few minutes until the feeling subsides.

But that's nothing compared to the person with cancer who's getting my platelets. Or the car-crash victim who gets my blood.

I also think about it in terms of the bystander effect. It's easy to just assume that blood or platelets will be there for people who need it, but that only happens if people deliberately choose to donate.

I want to be one of those people who does it deliberately.

And so far I have: to the tune of FIVE GALLONS!

The last thing I'll say is that part of why I like doing it is because I really like my donation center. The staff there are excellent. I prefer doing it at a place like that than one of the closer, more convenient pop-up options because I feel like if something were to go wrong (god forbid), then a designated site is likely to have the supplies, preparation, and expertise in dealing with the issue.

For example: I have had a few times where the phlebotomist has whiffed one of the sticks for my arm. Each time, they've immediately called over the manager (who you can tell is esteemed by ALL of the staff for being VERY good at getting sticks right -- one time I heard a phlebotomist audibly "ooh" in amazement as she fixed their stick in my arm). She's been able to fix the issue each time.

Thankfully, those issues have been infrequent. Most of the time they do everything great and I barely feel a thing.

They also follow cleanliness and administrative protocols to a well-crossed, perfectly symmetrical T. It's comical, but I'll get asked my name and date of birth probably four different times during a platelet donation, because at each new step of the process they make sure that they've got the right paperwork, vials, and patient. It's always funny to me that they ask me this before they take the needles out of my arms, after I've been stuck in the chair unable to move for two hours. Do they think I somehow snuck out and someone else took my place when they weren't looking?

Of course, they're doing it not for me but to make sure everything gets properly labeled, but I genuinely appreciate the thoroughness. I feel very safe with them because they consistently operate with such a high level of care. If you've been turned off of donating due to bad experiences in the past, I recommend finding a good permanent donation center near you if you're willing to revisit it.

Anyway, that's all I have to say. I wanted to share my personal milestone. Again, as a gay guy who wasn't allowed to donate blood for DECADES, it feels really, REALLY good to be able to finally give back in this way.

This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

I gotta admit, I grew up with a thrifty father who definitely taught me to watch my pennies. So now its second nature. I very rarely buy anything brand new because I just cant stomach the price of new things.
eg. Our little EV, some poor soul paid 34k USD brand new. We bought it 3 years old with only 20,000 miles on it for 8k. Thats a heckuva lot of money saved for a car thats still barely used. This week I was shopping for a wake surf board for one of my grandkids and picked up a new looking board for $200. New price is over $700. WHY would you want to pay full price on stuff thats barely used when you can get it for a fraction of the price and let someone else take the hit? Take the saved money and invest it and you're miles ahead of the 'gotta be new and the latest and greatest' buyers. It's all gonna be dust some day anyway.

I'm one of those mythical Linux users who has been using it for years but has little to no idea what's going on behind the scenes or under the hood.

In my time using it, I've sort of passively gleaned that certain things are controversial, but I don't necessarily know why. It's also hard for me to know if these are just general intra-community drama/bikeshedding, or if these are actually big, meaningful issues.

If you're someone who's in the know, here's your chance to lay out a Linux controversy in a way that's understandable by someone like me, who can't tell you why people always make "GNU/Linux" jokes for some reason whenever people mention "Linux."

Here are some things that have pinged for me as controversial in my time using Linux:

• Unity
• Canonical
• Deepin
• systemd
• Arch
• GNOME
• Manjaro
• Kali
• Rust in the kernel
• elementaryOS
• Linus Torvalds
• Snaps
• Wayland
• Something about a university being banned from contributing to Linux
• NVIDIA drivers
• Package managers vs. Snaps/Flatpaks

There are certainly more -- these are just the ones I can remember off the top of my head.

Replies don't have to be limited to the above topics. I'm interested in getting the lay of the land about any Linux controversy.

IMPORTANT

This topic is intended for learning, not bickering.

• Please try to explain a controversy as fairly as you can.
• Please try to not re-ignite a flame war about a specific controversy.

It's fine to discuss these in good faith, but I do not want this topic to become yet another Linux battleground online. There are plenty of those already!

Optional sentence stems in the comments- feel free to add your own.

I will know if you cheat or use AI because I know how you write. Graphic organizers are available but not required. I don't care if you're texting your mom, put it away. Also, my name isn't bruh, but lately I find myself responding to it anyway.

Disclaimer: I do not like LLMs. I am not going to fight you on if you say LLMs are shit.

One of the things I find interesting about conversations on LLMs is when have a critique about them, and someone says, "Well, it's no different than people." People are only as good as their training data, people misremember / misspeak / make mistakes all the time, people will listen to you and affirm you as you think terrible things. My thought is that not being reliably consistent is a verifiable issue for automation. Still, I think it's excellent food for thought.

I was looking for new music venues the other day. I happened upon several, and as I looked at their menu and layout, it occurred to me that I had eaten there before. Not there, but in my city, and in others. The Stylish-Expensive-Small-Plates-Record-Bar was an international phenomenon. And more than that, I couldn't help but shake that it was a perversion of the original, alluring concept-- to be in a somewhat secretive record bar in Tokyo where you'll be glared into the ground if you speak over the music.

It's not a bad idea. And what's wrong with evoking a good idea, especially if the similarity is just unintentional? Isn't it helpful to be able to signal to people that you're like-that-thing instead of having to explain to people how you're different? Still, the idea of going just made me assume it'd be not simply like something I had experienced before, but played out and "fake." We're not in Tokyo, and people do talk over the music. And even if they didn't, they have silverware and such clanging. It makes me wonder if this permutation is a lossy estimation of the original concept, just chewed up, spat out, slurped, regurgitated, and expensively funded.

other forms of conceptual perversion:

• Matters of Body Image - is it a sort of collapse when we go from wanting 'conventional beauty' to frankensteining features onto ourselves? Think fox eye surgeries, buccal fat removal, etc. Rather than wanting to be conventionally attractive, we aim for the related concept of looking like people who are famous.
• (still thinking)

Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

Find yourself watching tons of great videos on [insert chosen video sharing platform], but also find yourself reluctant to flood the Tildes front page with them? Then this thread is for you.

It could be one quirky video that you feel deserves some eyeballs on it, or perhaps you've got a curated list of videos that you'd love to talk us through...

Share some of the best video content you've watched this past week/fortnight with us!

Last year I went through a phase of strange fatigue. I constantly felt sick. Like I was physically, not emotionally, depressed. But also slightly brain fogged. Eventually this cleared up and I assumed it had resolved itself for good so I did not investigate it further.

Half a year later and I felt the way again. I’d just gotten an order of magic spoon cereal (which is sweetened by allulose, a sugar-like molecule that has a fraction of the calories but tastes almost identical). I have a sweet tooth so I felt eating the cereal was something of a life hack. Infinite sweetness without any downsides!

I realized that before when I felt off I’d also gotten a delivery of magic spoon. I assumed the correlation was meaningful and stopped eating it and felt better.

Recently I’ve been drinking these stevia and monk fruit sweetened yogurt drinks. They seem to be making me feel the same way, so I guess I need to stop having those as well. It’s kind of a shame because I don’t think they even need to be so sweet - and I’d happily accept some added sugar or a sweet fruit puree mixed in.

Am I crazy or is this a common occurrence?

Full Weekend Race Schedule

Main event - Saturday June 21st:
CEST/GMT+2

• 14:00 Gridwalk
• 15:40 Formation Lap
• 16:00 Race Start

Track Information: 25.378 km combined circuit located in Nürburg, Germany

Track Map

Race Website

Official Entry List

Track Weather

Spotters Guide

Streaming/Radio

ADAC RAVENOL 24h Nürburgring (YouTube) - Official ADAC race streams and many on-board streams available.

Nürburgring (YouTube) - More official race streams/24h Classic race stream.

GTWorld (YouTube)

AutoAddiction (YouTube)

Radio LeMans (English)

Radio Nürburgring (German)

Live Timing

Azure Websites - Live Timing

wige SOLUTIONS - Live Timing

Will try to update info/links as the race goes on.

Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like linux, rockets.reusable and louvre. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was keenly observing.

But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

In short: the prospect of generative AI becoming increasingly prevalent has been gnawing away at me for a long time now. It's looking like there are no limits that will matter in the near future. But interfacing with generative AI in basically any capacity instills in me a kind of existential horror and revulsion that I don't think I can live with in my day-to-day life. Unfortunately, it seems that generative AI will soon become unavoidable in any white-collar career path, to say nothing of casual exposure in everyday life. I try as hard as possible to shield myself, but I doubt that will be realistically possible for much longer.

I'm in a graduate program, but I'm not confident that my field will still be relevant in five years. Even if it is, I'll almost certainly spend a lot of time interfacing with generative AI, the thought of which makes me nauseous.

Frankly, I'm so disgusted with what the world has become and what it is becoming that it's turning me into kind of a nasty person IRL.

So I'm musing on ways to get out. On finding a way to make enough money to stay alive while having as little contact with the digital world as possible.

Anyone have any experience/ideas?

Disclaimer: I don't quite know how to address the topic, so I want to state I'm trying to approach this with sensitivity; I hope this might lead to a helpful and insightful conversation on a potentially difficult issue. Apologies if I don't quite get it right!

I noticed the absence of a name I'd become familiar with on Tildes and wanted to start a discussion on how the community should handle situations where a person of community renowned abruptly departs.

The user in question is @daychilde, who is one of the users I'd seen around quite a bit. I've been on Tildes for quite a while now, and would like to think I've had a positive - if not vast - contribution. Overall, I probably read more than I respond; I bring this up because I am aware that I probably represent the voice of a significant portion of the userbase here: I'm figuring stuff out as I go and probably am not in the loop on the majority of stuff going on on Tildes. All in all, I don't recognise a lot of names on Tildes, but @daychilde is/was a character who stuck out and seemed to have a significant impact on the community.

From what I deduce, @daychilde has been banned some time in the past week, and I thought it worth discussing given there are at least a couple of things left in the lurch as a result that people might seek information on. The ones that have crossed my vision are the following:

https://tildes.net/~tech/1od9/personal_offer_do_you_have_a_website_based_project_youve_been_wanting_to_do_but_worried_about_cost
and
https://tildes.net/~life/1n7e/daychildes_walking_thread

At the risk of broaching a difficult topic - I'm not looking to cause drama or speculate - we should probably discuss the fallout of a situation like this. Hopefully at the very least this topic might be something others can find if they also become aware of the departure of a notable person and are looking for confirmation or where might be appropriate to discuss any fallout that might occur.

For @daychilde in particular, this website seemed to be a resource that helped him manage his life. I wonder if we should consider whether there is some duty of care to users to depend on Tildes in some capacity?

There are also people who might be looking to discuss the hosting that he had offered/agreed, and might now be left in the lurch.

Unfortunately I don't have solutions, but I didn't see any discussion or information on this kind of a topic, nor any precedent for this kind of a situation!

What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?