Here I am, late-30s languishing on a grey Sunday afternoon. After finishing my first real week-long vacation in 4ish years without even side-hussling, a thought is growing: I don't really want to go back, what's next?

I've browsed topics discussing career changes/pivots when the OP has a desired endpoint, but I could use help brainstorming one step earlier: how to figure out what jobs/career move I might like, might be feasible/pragmatic for me, and even just exist?

Meandering background
if tl/dr, skip to questions below
My current job (ux/comms) is objectively decent for pay, coworkers, work/life balance. So, not in a rush to jump ship. [Edit: removed some details about myself]

Questions

• Any overall life advice or thoughts on that 'something new' itch? Maybe I shouldn't equate it with my career alone?
• Do you have general guidance/anecdotes on how to meaningfully explore job/career desires or options?
• Do you know of niche job opportunities/fields that might tie into skills in various combinations of ux, communication, biology, environmental sciences, possibly healthcare? Or, how to find them? Especially in the Canadian job market context?

Housekeeping: feel free to change group/tags if appropriate. This is also a lot more than I typically share online, I may remove some personal details later.

I had an idea for a game some weeks ago, just as the title says. It would be something like Crusader Kings, it's all about dinasties and roleplay, but set in more modern eras, from the beginning of the industrial revolution until today, or maybe the future, we'll see. And instead of kingdoms, it's all about businesses. It's all about owning global company empires. Being a kind hearted local chain owner, or a sociopathic cutthroat in the 1% that owns the world. Up to you.

And this idea is still stuck with me, and I wanted to get back into game development, so I might as well just try it for fun and see what happens.

I picked Godot, 1) because it's open source, 2) it's going to be fun to see how much it developed in the last decade and 3) it's free, and especially 4) I don't want to use commercial engines and risk being affected by something similar to the runtime fee fiasco

I still have to finish some tutorials and make some simple games to get a grip on the engine and see how everything works, but as a data analyst I already have programming foundations and, I think, this project is monumental for someone like me, but I also think it's doable.

I have a very rough idea of how the code will work for the AI. It will incorporate "ticks" like CK, each tick being a day, and some events fire weekly or monthly, where based on the stats and traits, each individual character will calculate how likely they are to accept or reject that event. This event can be about buying shares, accepting proposal marriages, going on a trip, etc.

My main worry here is if GDScript is good enough to handle "intensive" algorithms. If not, I can always use C#, or C++ if I really have to, and adapt the problematic algorithms.

Another is what would be the best database manager for this, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

As for the world, initially I was thinking about being about the real one, but I realized that I may not want to deal with... Well, accuracies. For example, I don't want these businesses to exist in a vacuum, I'm going to try to make a system that interacts both the world's political events and these businesses. I want to create events, like, a country invades another, which creates demands for weapons, and if you own a weapon factory, good news for you! If you own businesses in the invaded country, well, sucks to be you.

So, I want to do those kind of events, but without needing to worry about things like "Portugal would never invade Japan. What is your AI thinking!?" or "Why is Greece an industrial power house?". If a big studio like Paradox has trouble fine tuning their hundreds of nations in their games, me by my alonesome certainly will not be able to do it.

So I'm thinking just making a fictional world, populated by several countries and empires but not as many as the real world. This way I can fine tune it to my liking and without worrying about being accurate with the real world. This is another challenge by itself, with its own cliffs, but it's more doable.

And so far, that's it. After I'm done with the learning phase, I'm going to start a proper planning phase, lay down some key mechanics and develop a prototype.

I wrote this post as a way to put my thoughts down, double check with myself if the idea is good.

But also, to check with the tildes community if you have any inputs. It can be anything: ideas, suggestions, warnings, problems that you know that I'll face, etc. I'll appreciate anything that you can give me

Recently there has been a discussion thread about how many people (myself included) are recently finding it difficult to find meaningful, lasting friendships. Let's change that. I don't know if we've ever had a thread like this, but if we did then it must have been a while ago (or my search juju failed me).

Normally, the "finding friends 101" involves finding a small community that revolves around one of your interests, then make friends within that community. Finding those kinds of small communities on the internet has become nigh-on impossible, at least for me. Discord is no substitute; most Discord servers revolving around a certain interest are massive in size, with text channels flying by faster than a popular streamer's Twitch chat.

So we're breaking the code. Instead of finding a specialized community for your interests, just type up a list of your interests, quirks, or whatever other things you'd like to lure new potential friends with as a response to this thread. Go into as much detail as you'd like. If anyone has mentioned an interest you share, send them a DM and start a conversation! (That goes for the lurkers too – if you are one, don't be shy; you play an essential part in making this thread work.)

Note: it may be helpful to add other details too, like your age (if you want friends in a similar age group) and what kind of friends you're looking for in your post. Some people may be looking for people to hang in voice chat and play games with; others may just look for people to discuss topics via Discord DM; and others still may not even necessarily be looking to take their new friendship outside of Tildes. All of these are completely valid.

My elderly father has an android phone and so do I. Is there a reputable remote assistance app that we can both install so I can help him with basic phone stuff from far away?

It has to be as easy to use as possible: it won't work if he has to open an app or toggle settings or punch in a buncha code. He doesn't even know how to take a screenshot and send it over WhatsApp. Ideally the app would just be sleeping until I send him a request, it'll have a pop up to allow, and he just has to click yes. I won't need full control, just be able to see what he sees and tell him what thingy to click.

On the desktop front, I'm considering getting Mint for him to upgrade. All he wants to do is open browser and go to bookmark sites. Is there a Mint compatible remote assistance app that's super easy? Again I'm okay with minimal control trade off with ease of use from his side.

Thanks Tildes :)

I just had two brand new tires (Michelin Defender 2) installed on my car (2022 Ford Maverick XLT, a four-door cyber-orange truck) and they have boosted my average MPG by 25, going from from 25-33 to 50-57mpg. Insane.

The ride is also so smooth it's practically ludicrous, almost feels like a brand new suspension system was installed.

Highly worth it. Always invest in good tires.

Since buying my house nearly two years ago, I have been working on various home improvement tasks. One of the first things I did when I moved in was to re-paint the walls in certain rooms because of ugly paint jobs from the past or visible damage that required me to fix cracks or other imperfections. The problem is that I don't really have an eye for color matching or designs so every room that I have painted, is just white. I want to make my home feel more cozy during the Michigan winters so I am thinking of getting some high-quality wallpaper to put up as opposed to painting. Especially because I did a complete remodel of my attic living space, replacing wood paneling with drywall, and I am soon approaching the beautification of the space.

So I am conflicted because it seems like there is many prevailing thoughts in the American design psyche:

1. Fuck wallpaper - this seems to be due to the difficulty of removing wallpapers from 60s to 80s, where the designs were also not very good and quality bad. I removed wallpaper when I moved into my home, and it really wasn't that bad. I did it all in a day, but I can relate to hating the patterns that former owners put up.

2. Accent wall only - put wallpaper just on a single wall in a room. Would still need to color match this to paint and kind of seems like the worst of both worlds. However, wallpaper can be expensive if you go the premium route so this could save money.

My wife is European, and while the attitudes towards wallpaper in various parts of the continent can vary, she is also very pro-wallpaper. She is thinking of doing whole room wallpapering.

So what are your thoughts, experiences, and opinions? If you have experience in America doing it, what vendors and advice do you have?

So I know we have the biweekly "what are you reading" thread, but sometimes a book will stick with you for a while beyond reading it. I'm curious what those sticky books might be for those who would like to share. Feel free to include an honorable mention if you wish!

For example, I finished reading The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones pretty recently, and I have a feeling it's going to stick with me for a while. It has a particularly unique flavor of an often-seen paranormal/mythological creature that I appreciated, and the characters developed so much over time that I find myself thinking about it. This book wasn't at all like what I normally read (though I am trying to branch out) and I benefitted from the reading experience more than I expected to. The blurb I got for the book also tells you nothing about the story - it's basically just the hook - and I think that technique worked very well. Interestingly, most of the books I find myself thinking about for a while after I read them are horror books, but I'm not usually thinking about them for their scarier elements.

Honorable mention - Sand by Hugh Howey. I read this a year ago and often find myself recommending it to people who enjoy sci fi. I found the technology (decrepit though it is shown to be) super interesting.

Other books that are feeling memorable for me right now are part of series I'm actively working toward finishing, so I'm not really counting those, as they're called up by their universes every time I dive back in.

Edit: Decided to go with the Ubiquiti Dream Machine Pro. Thank you for all the suggestions and advice!

Hey Tildenauts,

I'm planning to help a local nonprofit replace their aging hardware firewall pro bono. I have a fair amount of experience with networking and security, especially where web servers are concerned, but I haven't setup a hardware firewall recently enough to know off the top of my head which are the best options here.

The organization is fairly small but on its way to medium sized, around 30 employees at the moment but will likely expand to 50+ in coming years. So I'm looking for a solution that will comfortably scale up to 100 employees. There is remote work, accessing their local server via VPN, so something that comes bundled with a user friendly VPN client would be ideal. I haven't seen their physical setup yet but I know their server gets a lot of use. Not all employees use it remotely on a regular basis but many do.

From past experience I know that Cisco, Sophos and SonicWall are potential options. Cisco seems to be pushing their Meraki platform pretty hard but I don't think this organization needs a subscription based solution.

Anyone have recommendations for hardware firewalls I should consider? Any potential footguns I should know about?

Thanks in advance!

I moved across the world from my friends, and as a dad I don't have much time for gaming. I really enjoy the idea of play by email (PBEM) or cloud format games, and got into playing ranked Advance Wars by Web for a little while that goes in that format. I then stopped playing as much due to spending more time than I had set aside for gaming thinking through my turns to try and improve my ELO.

Sadly, I haven't been able to get my friends to buy into playing a game in this format yet, but I'm holding out hope that when my kids are older, and I have a bit more time to game regularly, I can start up a game in this format with some internet strangers.

What got me thinking of this topic was remembering that I had bought Shadow Empires for my birthday with a Steam Gift card my brother gave me after my oldest was born, and it has been sitting in my library with 8 minutes of gameplay since then. I know it support PBEM, and I think my friends would enjoy it if I could get them to give it a try.

I'd thought I'd see what my fellow Tilders think about this style of game.

Do you have a favorite game you play in this format?
Any long-running games that you've had going on with a group? I know games in this format can take years to finish.
Are there any games that you wish would adopt this format?
Anything else/stories you felt like sharing about this kind of games?

This is always weighing on my mind and is coming after this comment I wrote.

The tech sector, especially the hyper-online portion of it, is full of devs who were doing some random shit before and shifted to AI the past few years. Don't get me wrong, I'm one of those: In much the same way, very shortly after the release of ChatGPT, I completely changed my own business as well (and now lead an AI R&D lab). Sure I had plenty of ML/AI experience before, but the sector was completely different and that experience has practically no impact aside from some fundamentals today.

The thing is, LLMs are all in all very new, few people have an active interest into "how it all works", and most of the sector's interest is in the prompting and chaining layers. Imagine network engineering and website design being bagged into the same category of "Internet Worker". Not really useful.

Some reflexions on the state of the business world right now...

In most SMEs, complete ignorance of what is possible beyond a budding interest in AI. Of course, they use ChatGPT and they see their social media posts are easier to write, so they fire some marketing consultants. Some find some of the more involved tools that automate this-and-that, and it usually stops there.

In many large companies: Complete and utter panic. Leaders shoving AI left and right as if it's a binary yes-ai/no-ai to toggle in their product or internal tools, and hitting the yes-ai switch will ensure they survive. Most of these companies are fuuuuuucked. They survive on entropy, and the world has gotten a LOT faster. Survival is going to get much harder for them unless they have a crazy moat. (Bullish on hardware and deeply-embedded knowledge; Bearish on SaaS and blind-spend; Would short Palantir today if I could)

In labs just like mine: I see plenty of knowledgeable people with no idea of how far-reaching the impact of the work is. Super technical AI people get biased by their own knowledge of the flaws and limitations so as to be blind to what is possible.

And in tech entrepreneurship, I see a gap forming between techies who have no respect for "vibe coders" on the grounds that they're not real programmers, and who don't end up using AI and fall massively behind since execution (not code quality) is everything. And at the same time I see vibe coders with zero technical prowess get oversold on the packaging, and who end up building dead shells and are unable to move past the MVP stage of whatever they're building.

And the more capable the tool you're using is, the more the experience can be SO WILDLY DIFFERENT depending on usage and configuration. I've seen Claude Code causing productivity LOSSES as well as creating productivity gains of up to 1000x -- and no, this isn't hearsay, these numbers are coming from my own experience on both ends of the spectrum, with different projects and configurations.
With such massively different experiences possible, and incredibly broad labels, of course the discussion on "AI" is all over the place. Idiocy gets funded on FOMO, products built and shut down within weeks, regulators freaking out and rushing meaningless laws that have no positive impact, it's just an unending mess.

Because it's such a mess I see naysayers who can only see those negatives and who are convinced AI is a bubble just like that "internet fad of the 90s". Or worse, that it has zero positive impact on humanity. I know there's some of those on Tildes - if that's you, hello, you're provably already wrong and I'd be happy to have that discussion.

Oh and meanwhile, Siri still has the braindead cognition of a POTUS sedated with horse tranquilizer. This, not ChatGPT, is the most-immediately-accessible AI in a quarter of the western world's pocket. Apple will probably give up, buy Perplexity, and continue its slow decline. Wonder who'll replace them.

I'm talking Really Big Projects.

NASA plans to have astronauts skinny-dipping in Shackleton Crater by 2030. Norway wants to build the first ever commercial ship tunnel, done by 2030.

That's the level I'm talking about.

And also, I'm not talking about cost overruns or resource requirements, or anything like that.

I just mean, really big, really public, engineering projects -- typically chock full of political complications -- get announced in the news, like ...

"NASA to build Super-Duper-Big Telescope on Olympus Mons, for $8B, by 2034"

-- and everyone knows it's actually going to cost 6-16x that amount, and be ready to use in the late-2040s ... assuming it gets built at all.

I want something vaguely formulaic to calculate how much and how long it will actually take NASA to build that telescope.

Back before he became universally hated, it was kind of a meme-level joke that Elon Musk was already living on Mars time, so all of his project-completion estimates had to be multiplied by 1.88 (to convert from Martian back to Earth years). The funny thing, as a rough guideline ... that was actually a pretty reliable formula.

I want something like that formula, but given a bit more thought and research, maybe some optional variables to take into account the project circumstances.

There are plenty of studies (I've been looking) that seek to identify and calculate the causes of large-project delays and cost-overruns, and how to minimize/avoid them. But I'm not trying to rein in the delays and overruns ... I just want to have a way of semi-realistically calculating, right at the start, just exactly how badly people are underestimating the timeline for building their Big Shiny New Thing.

The Setting

For the past two months I've been dealing with a lot of stress because I've been trying to balance two extremely challenging remote university classes at the same time as my work has been asking more hours of me. More work hours are usually good for me because my job doesn't pay all that well, but they can be challenging because sometimes I'm asked to teach classes that are just outside my area of experience, so I need to spend more time learning the details so I can answer student questions.

This is the last week of classes, so right now I'm extra stressed because I'm trying to finish the last week's worth of classwork. I've still got one assignment to do which I haven't really started because I can't make much sense of this week's material; it's due on Wednesday evening. So my plan was to wake up early, go to the gym to get my workout out of the way, and then go to the library to study until my class in the afternoon.

Last night I discovered the mask for my CPAP unit is broken, so I tried to go to sleep without it.

The Day

If you have sleep apnea then you already know what trying to sleep without a CPAP machine is like; it's a miserable experience. I woke up five times last night, and when I woke up I felt miserable. I took so long to get up because of that, even though I couldn't sleep past 6:30 or so, I didn't actually get to the gym until around 9:00. Today was supposed to be a cardio day to give my muscles a bit more time to rest from my more heavy resistance workouts, but even then I only managed to do 20 minutes of fairly light intensity before I was exhausted.

After that I took a seat to cool down and get the sweat dry before I went to do a massage chair session. I pulled up Tildes and saw that one thread that's making the rounds about being attractive. And I'll be real, it came at just the wrong time. I was super angry about it and I spent more than half an hour writing and deleting all the things I wanted to say. I'm legitimately happy for the poster, but every single word they said made me hate them in that moment. My theme for the past year or so has been learning to love myself, but reading that post made me legitimately feeling like I wasn't just terrifyingly ugly and unloveable, but permanently so. To give you the context for why I felt like that would take a novel's worth of text, so I'll omit the majority of that and just tell you that in spite of losing a great amount of weight, I am still grossly obese, and having been so fat before means that my body is permanently deformed in an extremely unattractive way that cannot be fixed without a series of surgeries that are far more money than I will realistically have within my lifetime given my career; heck, I've already given up on the possibility of retiring. if I had the body of someone who was always at my current weight, it wouldn't be that bad, but as things are my body looks like one of those novelty inflatable "sumo wrestler" costumes that have been half-deflated.

While I was spending that time processing my feelings, I finally decided to not respond to that topic at all and simply click on ignore so that I could get it out of my head. Unfortunately, there is no ignore buton in my head. But at that time I was filled with so much nervous energy I needed to find a way to get rid of those thoughts. It turns out the gym is a pretty perfect place to do that; I skipped the massage chair, took a caffeine tablet, and got on the elliptical again. I pulled up a video workout and worked out all of my anger ("60 RPM is moderate? Fuck you!"). Every time I made a wrong move and my arm fat slapped against my side fat, It gave me more fuel for the fire. It got me fired enough to get through the whole workout, another 25 minutes at a much higher intensity than before.

After cooling down and doing my recovery, I went into the locker room, stripped, and took a shower. Taking a shower in the gym is something that I do partially because I sweat a lot and don't want to make my car stink too much, but on a more personal level it's something that I do as a kind of personal therapy. To do so requires me to lose my self-consciousness and body issues, at least up to an extent. It makes me feel just a bit more normal.

Today someone else was taking a shower at roughly the same time, and they just so happen to have chosen a locker just a few feet away from me. When they finished, they took their clothes out of the locker and moved over to a different bench to change. The obvious assumptions would be that they were doing it because they were trying to respect our space, or it was their modesty or body shame. But let's just say that in the moment it didn't help me feel like I was normal.

After I got out of the gym I got a message from my employer saying I've got a new class scheduled. A good thing, I guess, since many of my other classes have run their course. I could really use the money, and with any luck the classes I'm taking next term are not going to be nearly as challenging.

The Rest of the Day

It hasn't even happened yet. It's not even noon. The title was a lie, I guess.

The question is, then, was this partial day representative of my life? For the most part, yes, it is. I think these thoughts and feel these feelings every day, and I go through the same affirmations and rationalizations to deal with them every day. Today was just a little bit more emotionally intense than normal.

So why did I decide to post it? To be honest, I don't entirely know. Maybe I'm still processing some of those feelings from reading that post that set me off today. Or maybe I just want to say something for people who are dealing with the same feelings. Maybe I'm even feeling a little bit guilty from the impostor syndrome given previous comments I wrote about self-love. But I'm not posting this because I want people to feel sorry for me, or because I need help coping with it. I'm a strong person, and I actually do have a good sense of self-worth and self-love even if it's constantly under threat of the other thoughts in my head. Maybe I'm just selfishly using this public space to process some of my own feelings, or I'm engaging in some twisted form of narcissism. I just hope that you, the one reading this now, have taken something from what I had to say.

I saw that @Deimos had made a post about the history of Chex Quest about this game in 2019, and since it has been over 6 years since then, and I felt the urge to play it again, I figured I'd see if anyone else had any memories of this game.
Note: The video that was included in the original link appears to have been taken down, I found a re-upload here: https://youtu.be/pxu1cq_vRUw

My dad brought a copy of this home with him one day from work that he got from a coworker whose kids enjoyed it. My brother and I played it a solid amount and it was an awesome game, and also my first exposure to a game that ran in the Doom engine. I also had a distinct memory of seeing the game play of the original Doom for the first time and thinking "hey that looks like Chex Quest!".

Chex Quest is a shareware title so you're able to download the files and play the game for free. I can't remember where I got them, but I have the first three Chex Quest games as .wad files that I was playing with Chocolate Doom. There are also fan made .wad files in the Chex Quest style that I've yet to play, but maybe one day! I even remember there being a Doom randomizer that included the ability to generate random Chex Quest levels, but I can't seem to find it while doing some quick searching online.
Edit: I found the random level generator a few minutes after posting this: https://github.com/obsidian-level-maker/Obsidian

They also released a Chex Quest HD on Steam that I remember got me to go back and play the original game 5 years ago.

This is going to sound conceited, and it is. But I thought I would share my experiences regarding this. For context, I'm in year two of being considered conventionally attractive. I used to be morbidly obese, and I spent the years 17 to 23 being really big. In high school, I was only briefly considered attractive, but considering how short that was, I generally say I wasn't attractive in high school. Which is to say that the idea that I am attractive is still relatively new, and I'm still learning the ropes of my different life. I won't be sharing any photos, but I'm often told that I look like a young Mark Ruffalo.

I'm going to split this into parts.

Everyone is nicer

As soon as I lost the weight, I was treated a lot better. To be clear, I wasn't treated that terribly when I was overweight. In my experience, people were generally nice. But there were some times when people would just ignore me or try not to look like me. I recall one moment, in college, while I was walking across campus, this one girl was in front of me. She kept giving me the over-the-shoulder look and then ran off since she detected danger.

Those moments existed, but they weren't my overwhelming experience. What shifted was that people became overly nice towards me. People go out of their way to talk to me, to help me, or to make sure I'm okay. I haven't encountered an incident where a girl thinks I'm a creep or anything like that since.

Women approach men

I think there's this idea in the dating world that women never approach men. I've seen a lot of TikTok videos and Reddit posts where the gist is "no matter how handsome you are, women DO NOT approach men." And they will give anecdotes of "good-looking" friends who have also not been approached by women.

That's not true at all. I have been approached quite a bit, especially in the nightclub and bar setting. There are women who are not shy at all, or they are shy but they're trying something different. The one thing I've noticed, and this is going to sound mean, the women most likely to approach a guy tend to not be very attractive. The most attractive woman who approached me (and she was very pretty) approached me with the help of a friend.

Even if women don't outright approach you, they give signals as their way of making the first move. Often at the bar or club, it's a lot of staring. They stare, look away, look back again to make sure you're staring.

I work in a predominantly female workplace. So the signals in this are a little different. A lot of my co-workers go out of their way to chat with me. They often look for excuses to touch me or to get closer to me. They'll look at me when they don't think I'm looking. Recently, I had a higher-up worker start messaging me through the work chat we use and inviting me to her office for treats that she makes. They don't say anything out loud, it's just sort of obvious that they find me attractive.

Rejection stings, especially when they're not used to it

Going back to the workplace. We have cops at my work as security. It's kind of well-known that the male cops sleep with the staff. But none of the female cops really do that. I would chat with this one cop, she's quite a bit older than me (actually, she has a daughter that's exactly my age). But she is gorgeous. It started off slow; we just looked at each other for a while before I started talking to her. But we built up enough of a rapport that one day she gave me a big opening for me to ask her out. I didn't. Someone that pretty is not used to not being pursued, so she became more guarded and avoidant of me.

That was kind of a somber example. A more aggressive example was at a dance club. This woman gave me the eye contact signal, but I did not approach her. Flash forward a bit, I'm on the dance floor, and she pushes me. It wasn't an accident; it was very aggressive, and she was obviously drunk.

There are more examples that I can give, but the reaction is never that great. And I've learned that I hate making people feel that way. It's what I imagine a woman feels like when they rejects men, it's so much pressure. Especially when the woman is attractive herself, there's a sadder response from them because they're not used to that.

I was not prepared to be in a situation where I could hurt someone's feelings. Not just that, but I can hurt someone's feelings by not doing anything. It used to be simple. I didn't really have options or anything like that, so when the opposite came true, where I had to pick and choose between people, it was daunting. Almost paralyzing. At one point, I had three women interested in me at the same time, and I could not figure out how to pick one to escalate things with. At the time, I was not in the mental space to be in that situation anyway, and I think I made the overall best decision I could have (which was to not do anything with any of them) since I think things wouldn't have ended well for any of them. Even if all three of them felt a sting from that sort of soft rejection.

People assume the best in you

I don't know how many times I've been told that I seem like a nice guy. And that goes even after I've done something bad, or say some off-color stuff. I don't think I would be given that grace if I were maybe a little bit uglier.

People just assume the best of me now; they assume good intentions. One time when I was out, I had danced with a woman who was part of a group. I sat at their table, and they asked me to look after their drinks as they went to the bathroom. In my head, I thought, "Okay, they're leaving, they're not coming back, because what woman is going to trust their drink with a stranger?" They came back.

Not that I was going to do anything, nor do I intentionally try to make people feel bad (barring one time where I was testing the waters).

At the same time, people think you're sleeping around

I was a virgin until last year; it seemed like a shock whenever I would say that. When I did manage to finally lose it, the person I lost it to always thought I was sleeping with a lot of people. I've had many people think that I'm sleeping around, that I've had multiple sex partners, and somehow don't seem convinced when I try to tell them I'm not, and I don't.

I've tried different styles. When I keep to myself and when I'm overly chatty. People think the same either way.

I've been on dates where the other person assumes I'm "talking" to someone else. Like, if I use my phone for a bit, the assumption is I'm texting someone.

Conclusion

I seem to have more eyes on me now. The invisibility cloak I once had is gone and now everything I do or say carries more weight. I'm more at risk of hurting someone's feelings just by not being attracted to them. And having someone that you find attractive finding you attractive is a scary thing.

I've spoken to a very attractive woman who told me about her experiences, and while there are some similarities it's basically tenfold for women. Attractive women get gifts, people offering to buy stuff for her, just a lot more intensity. Especially since it's more socially acceptable for men to do that for women. It's not something I envy, and it fills her with anxiety and rage with how often she has to reject men.

I would say overall it's a much more positive life I'm living now, but there are times when I miss being the one nobody looked at and nobody had expectations for. I'd just eat and watch movies all day. There was a comfort to that over the healthy eating and workout regimen I do now.

PF2, Kingmaker tonight. Minor spoilers re: names of potential companions and side-quest details.

Party, Level 3

• Marisiel, Elf Witch
• Nok-Nok, Goblin Rogue
• Linzi, Halfling Bard
• Amiri, Human Barbarian
• Titus, Human Fighter
• Valerie, Human Fighter
• Stik, Kobold Monk

Variants in Play: Ancestry Paragon, Free Archetype, Gradual Ability Boosts, Slow Leveling, Stamina. I also allow Hero Points to adjust the degree of success on a check by one step rather than re-roll; this primarily gets used to either mitigate a crit fail or turn a failure into a success.

The group had set out at the end of last session with the intention of picking some radishes and hunting two local monsters of some renown, a boar called Tuskgutter and some tatzlwyrms. Amiri was especially excited about going after Tuskgutter.

They arrive at the radish patch to find four kobolds suffering from The Itis™ that quickly scramble to protect their patch, but the monk eases tensions and ends up receiving an entire basket of the spicy radishes.

They spend a few days following the edge of the forest, crossing a rickety old bridge, disturbing some hunting spiders but dispatching them quickly. One evening, just after a meal, several of the Stag Lord's bandits had managed to sneak up on them, which turned out to be the last thing any of them did. Another afternoon saw Stik, Amiri, and Valerie attacked by thylacines while out foraging for ingredients, but by now they're used to that kind of thing.

They get into the general area of where they expect Tuskgutter's lair to be and spend the day searching for it. They eventually find it and have themselves their third proper Solo encounter since starting the game; I took the base profile for Tuskgutter and scaled it to be a Creature 7, so as to make the anticipation set up by the bounty poster and Amiri's vibrating in place worth it. With some good use of debuffing actions/spells and Hero Points, they take it down within a couple of rounds, albeit Titus did fall to an attack routine. One lesser healing potion and a soothe later, along with a short breather, and he's fine.

Trophy in hand, they make camp. As they're breaking camp in the morning, a hunter approaches the group to warn them of the dangers of Tuskgutter, only to be offered bacon.

Next stop, the tatzlwyrm lair.

First, I am emphatically not talking about LLMs.

Just a shower thought kinda question. For most people, the primary issue is anthropomorphizing too much. But I think programmers see it differently.

Let's say someone comes up with something that seems to walk and talk like a self-aware, sentient, AGI duck. It has a "memories" db, it learns and adapts, it seems to understand cause and effect, actions and consequences, truth v falsehood, it passes Turing tests like they're tic-tac-toe, it recognizes itself in the mirror, yada.

But as a developer, you can "look behind the curtain" and see exactly how it works. (For argument's sake, let's say it's a FOSS duck, so you can actually look at the source code.)

Does it ever "feel" like a real, sentient being? Does it ever pass your litmus test?

For me, I think the answer is, "yes, eventually" ... but only looong after other people are having relationships with them, getting married, voting for them, etc.

I have updated the Portuguese section of my blog with many posts that I scavenged from past blogs I've had since 2005. In order for everyone to be able to go through them chronologically, I gave them their original dates. In the end of each of these posts there is a link to the original publication, many of which came from the Internet Archive itself.

One of my oldest blogs was removed from blogspot decades ago either by a hacker or something obscure about blogspot. So I had to use the archived version to reconstruct my history. I was very surprised to find it there because it was seemingly archived a decade after blogspot removed it. I have no idea what happened but I was so glad to find it!

I have been trying to archive that page for days. The posts within that page are archived but not the page itself. The current August 2025 snapshot is not shown, and if I click on the link that they give me after the archiving process is done, I am directed to a snapshot I did back in May. I have no idea why this is happening, and the "help" section of Wayback Machine doesn't seem to have anyway for me to talk to someone.

Can someone help?

This is the page: https://daviramos.com/br/. It is also available at https://daviramos.bearblog.dev/br/, and yes, I tried archiving that one too.

Thanks!

I think things are going to get a lot worse until they get better (if they do). I’m not talking about US politics (I dont live there), I’m thinking more about climate change: food and water might not be as readily available anymore, never mind other things we take for granted like medicine, transportation, communications, a retirement pension.

It’s hard to articulate but I feel like our future is bleaker than the previous generation’s for the first time in modern history because of factors beyond our control (i.e. neither geopolitical nor economic). Not sure how to prepare for it so I’m wondering how other Tilderinas and Tilderinos deal with it, especially if you have or are planning on having children?

Nearly two years ago, I made a post titled "On the superhero question" and three years ago I made a retrospective on the box office since theaters closed in 2020.

So I figured it was time for an update.

Re-reading those posts makes me realize how optimistic the theatrical landscape seemed in the wake of Barbenheimer. I don't think I was alone in that; I think the industry felt optimism from that cultural moment as well. That same year was when superhero films imploded, so there was this idea that audiences wanted "real" films. They wanted films by "real" directors, and now there was some discernment from audiences. Grouping both Barbie and Mario, it spoke to the value that other IP now has.

The landscape became much more depressing in 2024. It seems like the idea of audiences flocking to other types of films did not happen. After consistent growth, the box office fell in 2024 from 2023. I remember the panic that the industry felt after both The Fall Guy and Furiosa: A Mad Max Story flopped at the box office. But Inside Out 2, Deadpool and Wolverine breaking out balanced out those disappointments.

Speaking of Deadpool and Wolverine, I remember my prediction of the film being that it would be the lowest-grossing of the Deadpool franchise. Not only that, but I predicted that Joker 2 would outgross it, and we all know how that played out.

Because Deadpool and Wolverine did so well, it delayed the narrative that had been forming throughout 2023, the "superhero fatigue" narrative. It wasn't until now that the narrative is back, and it seems like Deadpool and Wolverine was more of an exception. The film needed 20 years of nostalgia to power it to those numbers. Something under-discussed about D&W's performance is that it was more domestic-heavy than a lot of billion-dollar MCU films (47% DOM split when many of them were in the 30% range throughout the 2010s). Spider-Man: No Way Home also had a split in the 40s, which perhaps was an omen for what was to come.

There were other overperformers throughout 2024, don't get me wrong. Wicked, making over 400M DOM and 700M WW, was not something people were expecting early on. Mufasa: The Lion King still made over 700M WW despite a mediocre reception and a "why would you make this?" issue. But there was certainly a depth issue. Fewer films hit the 100M DOM mark in 2024 than in 2023, and the rest of the top 100 films made less in 2024 than in 2023. It did feel like many films underperformed or did not reach their full potential, which would have helped out the overall box office. Many horror films like Abigail, Night Swim, MaXXXine, could have done better but didn't. Gladiator II would have likely done better if it had been better received. Twisters and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice did well, but didn't get the late legs that would have driven it to 300M totals. Bad Boys: Ride or Die decreased from the previous film. Red One and Bob Marley: One Love didn't crawl past the 100M DOM mark. Little things like that that add up.

So how's 2025 looking so far?

In short, not great. We're currently lagging behind 2024 during the same calendar year. Inside Out 2 and Deadpool and Wolverine contributed over 600M DOM each, while our highest-grossing film this year so far is still A Minecraft Movie, and that didn't even hit 500M DOM (it probably would have if word of mouth wasn't horrendous). We do have three big films left for the year: Zootopia 2, Wicked: For Good, and Avatar: Ash and Fire. All three are potential 500M DOM grossers, although Avatar will be making a majority of its money in the 2026 calendar year. There are also smaller-scale studio films hoping to break out, such as The Running Man, Tron: Ares, and Predator: Badlands.

The issue, though, is that many of these films can underperform, and that's been a common theme this past year. The well-received Thunderbolts could not get in the black, and the much-anticipated Fantastic Four is going to barely break even theatrically. Even Superman, with its great legs, will end up below what many superhero films did during the peak, even mediocre or lesser-known superheroes. It does seem like the box office will continue to collapse since nothing is filling that Disney-sized void. Outside of superhero films, Lilo and Stitch didn't perform as well as it could have and neither did Minecraft.

So it's kind of grim. I mean, in reality, movie-going reached its peak in 2002. It has been declining in admissions ever since. So it was perhaps naive to think that the growth we experienced from 2021 to 2023 would continue. But it really seems like the domestic box office will continue to decline, and the international box office has collapsed for a lot of Hollywood films, specifically comic book films. So we're entering a very different landscape, a much more muted world for films from now on. And it will likely continue to shrink.

Now markets shift, they can shift back up. The international market can be brought up again (Superhero movies used to always play better with domestic audiences). But I'm certainly not as optimistic as I once was.

For the past year, I've finally been able to have a strong, lasting, cleaning routine. It took me my whole life, but I was never able to go past my own argument of "who cares"? Who cares if the dishes aren't done? If the laundry isn't folded? Only I can judge me. It doesn't matter, ultimately.

But silently, I wasn't happy with that, and I've known I wasn't happy for years, kinda like an addict saying he'll stop but he never does.

One day earlier this year, during winter, while on a good cleaning day, I took some time to look at my old notebooks from college. I remembered a page I had written during some off-time on an internship. I had written a full page of the same line: "I like it when...". I had wanted to just do some introspection and list every thing I liked that came to mind. Stuff like "I like it when I eat pizza", "I like it when I play boardgames with my friend", etc.

Those notes were five years old, you know what was the very first thing on the page? That's right: "I like it when my apartment is clean"

It hit me like a fucking brick. I almost cried right there.

From then on, it was over. The cleaning me had won over the lazy me and I've since been able to keep a clean apartment :)

So, what's your story? How did you overcome a challenge in your life?

For reference, I have next to zero knowledge of building electronics. I've replaced the joysticks on two Nintendo joycons (which I actually found pretty fun), and that's it. I also have no experience with 3D printing or designing specific products.

I am also sick of touch screen keyboards on phones, do not like any of of the phones that do have keys or the Clicks phone case (why is it on the BOTTOM—), and currently have a lot of free time.

So my question to you: how would I go about designing my own slide out case with its own keyboard?

Because that is my ideal solution at this point. And in fact, it turns out someone DID make a 3D printed "slider terminal" this year. Except it's for the Note 10 (I have a Galaxy S9), and seems to be used as a full-fledged replacement for a desktop experience with a trackpad. That's neat and will probably appeal to a lot of people here, but personally, I just need physical keys.

Along with the keyboard used for that terminal, I also found this other tiny keyboard which doesn't have the trackpad and is about the same dimensions as my Galaxy S9. Actually I found that first and was trying to figure out if there were any cases that could store and pop that out. The biggest issue is that it would cover my camera except maybe when it's slid out, but screw it, I want a damn physical keyboard.

I do have access to 3D printers (yay public libraries!) and I'm willing to learn Blender in order to make this thing. I just need advice on where to begin and how to tackle this. In particular, I have no clue how to go about the slide out part. I feel like I should be able to figure out how to make a case that fits the dimensions of my phone and the keyboard fairly easily, but no idea where to begin with researching the sliding component.

Besides that, I also know that I'm not alone here in my frustrations with phone keyboards, so I'm hoping we can pool together ideas on how to do this. As far as I can tell there's not really a "one size fits all" solution that would work for all phones (well, except perhaps a foldable case instead of slide-out), but maybe we can at least share decent starting points for people to design their own. For instance, the slider terminal uses a keyboard that came with a remote, and it would never have occurred to me that could be used for this sort of project. And there are a lot of potential workarounds for the camera placements, so Person A may have an idea that doesn't work well for them, but does work better for Person B than their own original idea.

So yeah. Advice, ideas and general brainstorming are welcome!

I feel like writing another rant, why not.

I guess it visibly started about the time Windows 10 released and probably earlier with smartphones but it is really going into overdrive lately. Especially with all the AI(it is like exponential being used to mean a lot, really. Words have meanings, being minimally precise is not waste of time) being shoved into everything.

Statistical based autocomplete being added everywhere whether it makes sense or not or whether the user wants it or not. They will get it anyway. It makes sense somewhere, in some situations when the user deliberately invokes that.

Settings that really should be standard user accessible are just not and in very lucky cases there are not too painful workarounds. Just several examples. Search bar in address bar(I could write a rant on this alone, is having to decide before using one or the other really that inconvenient?). Forced internet search in Windows start menu search. Automagically starting downloads without any user involvement. Also defaults such as hiding extensions automatically on Windows explorer.

Constant ui reshuffles, generally for the worse(at least from the point of valuing utility and good sized monitor). Less information, straight up insulting language. Uh, oops something broke. This is prevalent even in Linux on some distros. What the hell, why? What broke? Would it be that much effort to link high level overview and logs locations? Or at least start treating the user like an adult again?

Search engines straight up ignoring the actual query entered. I can get any amount of low quality and irrelevant results(not even one or the other, they have to have it both ways) I want but a relevant result on the first page is a miracle regardless if it is actually useful or not. My guess is they simply throw the text into the nearest mainstream bucket with zero regard for nuance and specificity.

Algorithmic content recommendations. That is to say black box content reshuffling made by entity concerned with ads and engagement. Hiding crowd sourced signs of content helpfulness(dislikes).

Forced internet connection, forced online accounts, forced permanent or regular internet connectivity. Forced updates, forced telemetry.

Inability or strong discouragement to take control of the user owned devices. Smartphones, consoles, smart things generally.

Zero chance of being able to read and understand all of the TOS that are thrown everywhere but a strong pressure to accept them anyway. Sometimes after the end user paid already.

It is not hard to see the benefits for one side but I don't understand end users who embrace this. Do they really think it benefits them? It does not take all that much effort to be a generation or two behind the latest user hostile trends even if opting out completely is next to impossible.

Howdy fellow humans. So I need help finding ways to teach my technophobe mother how to not get caught out by scam websites and how to just generally navigate the internet like a tech savvy person.

Recently, she got caught out when applying for the Thai Digital Arrival Card. She paid $80 for the "service". She only realised afterwards that this should not be the case. This angered her and reinforced her thinking that she can't do these things online and will always say she doesn't know what she is doing etc etc. When I googled the thai DAC the first hit on google was the official site and I had to go out of my way to find the one that she got. As I mentioned before she is a technophobe but then won't take the time to learn how to properly navigate the internet or improve her media literacy skills at all. I am also sure that there may be some other more personal issues around her refusal to learn how to use tech but thats a problem for another day.

Anyway so far Iv found 2 crash course series that would most likely help but if anyone else here has other resources for me to suggest to her id really appreciate it.

Overview

Background

Why I chose the Minimal Phone by Minimal Company

• while more expensive than a cheap android that I do software limitations on, it felt like I was getting a device that worked for me, rather than doing a bunch of configuration to get one to work for me
• Minimal phone was significantly cheaper than the Lite Phone, and had Google Playstore access to add some apps not included that I may need
• RCS support (it is just running Google Messages)
• eInk felt like a good fit for me
• The physical keyboard intrigued me

Experience ordering the phone

Software Impressions

Hardware

Summary

I have a 14 chapter text book to go through.

So far my plan is to read 1 chapter per weekend ( okay maybe two weekends ) and take solid notes on it.

Weeknights I am usually used up from work and got life to live. My thinking is review what I have already covered then.

My question is how to schedule the reviewing of old stuff so I don't lose it.

Example: If I just finished chapter 10, when would I review chapters 2,3,4...etc?

Anyone have experience with preparing for such a big exam?

Sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with how I use technology, or I'm just incredibly biased and predisposed to cynicism or something, so I wanted to get a pulse on how everyone else feels about AI, specifically LLMs, and how you use them in your professional and personal lives.

I've been messing with LLMs since GPT-3, being initially very impressed by the technology, to that view sort of evolving to a more nuanced one. I think they're very good at a specific thing and not great at anything else.

I feel like, increasingly, I'm becoming a rarity among tech people, especially executives. I run cybersecurity for a medium sized agency, and my boss is the CIO. Any time I, or any of her direct reports write a proposal, a policy, a report, or basically anything meant to distribute to a wide audience, they insist on us "running it through copilot", which to them, just means pasting the whole document into copilot chat, then taking the output.

It inevitably takes a document I worked hard on to balance tone, information, brevity, professional voice, and technical details and turns it into a bland, wordy mess. It's unusable crap that I then have to spend more time with to have it sound normal. My boss almost always comes up with "suggestions" or "ideas" that are very obviously just copy pasted answers from copilot chat too.

I see people online that talk about how LLMs have made them so much faster at development, but every time I've ever used it that field, it can toss together a quick prototype for something I likely could have googled, but there will frequently be little hidden bugs in the code. If I try to use the LLM to fix those bugs, it inevitably just makes it worse. Every time I've tried to use AI in a coding workflow, I spend less time thinking about the control flow of the software, and more time chasing down weird esoteric bugs. Overall it's never saved me any time at all.

I've used them as a quick web search, and while they do save me from having to trawl through a lot of the hellhole that is the modern internet, with blogspam, ads, and nonsense people write online, a lot of times, it will just hallucinate answers. I've noticed it's decent at providing me results when results exist, but if results don't exist, or I'm asking something that doesn't make sense, it falls flat on its face because it will just make things up in order to sound convincing and helpful.

I do see some niches where the stuff has been useful. Summarizing large swathes of documents, where the accuracy of that summary doesn't matter much is a little useful. Like if I were tasked to look through 300 documents and decide which ones were most relevant to a project, and I only had an hour to do it, I think that would be a task it would do well with. I can't review or even skim 300 documents in an hour, and even though an LLM would very likely be wrong about a lot of it, at least that's something.

The thing is, I don't frequently run into tasks where accuracy doesn't matter. I doubt most people do. Usually when someone asks for an answer to something, or you want to actually do something useful, the hidden assumption is that the output will be correct, and LLMs are just really bad at being correct.

The thing is, the internet is full of AI evangelists that talk about their AI stack made up of SaaS products I've never even heard of chained together. They talk about how insanely productive it's made them and how it's like being superhuman and without it they'd be left behind.

I'm 99% sure that most of this is influencer clickbait capitalizing on FOMO to keep the shared delusion of LLM's usefulness going, usually because they have stake in the game. They either run an AI startup, are involved in a company that profits off of AI being popular, they're an influencer that makes AI content, or they just have Nvidia in their stock portfolio like so much of us do.

Is there anyone out there that feels this technology is actually super useful that doesn't fall into one of those categories?

If so, let me know. Also, let me know what I'm doing wrong. Am I just a Luddite? A crotchety old man? Out of touch? I'm fine if I am, I just want to know once and for all.

Party hit level 3 at the end of the last session. Started tonight's session with an encounter with three hunting spiders (Low threat). Barbarian got inflicted with the poison and managed to stay on stage 3 (2d6 poison, clumsy 2, off-guard) for the majority of the six-round duration, which ran its full course.

Still on the way back to the trading post, they encountered more thylacines (Moderate threat), but they push through that just fine. A wolf approached them as they were walking alongside the great forest and was beckoning them to follow. They did, and were led to a man bleeding out and trapped under a couple of boulders. In the distance they hear crashing and bellowing as something big approaches them. They get the guy out from under the boulder and put an elixir of life in his mouth, which wakes him up. His immediate suspicion of the party allayed, he quickly fills them in on the fact that a troll is approaching and tells them to use fire or acid. Also don't let it get its hands on you.

The fight ended up being a bit of a slaughter due to dice rolls. I kept rolling low, they kept rolling high, so the troll went down at the very end of the second round despite being Creature 6. They nab the cold iron kukri and +1 light hammer from the troll's sack, and the man, a ranger, accompanies them back to the trading post.

They spend a week here doing various things; retraining, crafting, Earning Income. At the end of the week, they get their 70 gold reward from the quests they turned in, as well as the +1 striking bastard sword they'd ordered from a relatively distant city.

After spending some time going over their plans going forward, such as what quests to tackle, they head southwest to pick some radishes for the wife of the tradesman. We ended the session after wrapping up a bandit encounter during the camping portion of the day.

hey there tildes—

the job i’ve had for the past year has included heavy graphic design. i’ve never really done graphic design before so i’ve just been winging it and learning as i go. as time has gone on and the projects have become more complicated, i wonder if there’s a standardized way of organizing complex (or complex to me at least) projects in Illustrator (or for me, Affinity Designer).

one example— i create labels with 3-9 slight variations to be printed and attached to physical items (jars, in my case). these variations of the same design are roughly 75% the same, with the 25% being the “flavor” and associated text/colors. i also have to export as a layered pdf for the printing company since we don’t have the necessary equipment in-house.

another example (more related to InDesign or in my case Affinity Publisher)— a product catalogue. there are something like 30 pages and it’s just a huge click-fest of layers and nested groups.

are there any graphic designers here that have any insight on best practices when organizing large files or even practical ways to split up files?

So I am attempting to swap phones, but because I am trying to use a pixel 9 xl and it was not previously on my network, I have to wait 40 days to unlock it so I can install GrapheneOS.
I saw on Monday that suddenly there were a lot of photos dated from last Sunday on the phone's default "Photo" app. I have been keeping things to a minimum: I haven't logged into anything Google, and I've only installed F-Droid apps. Also, I had some issues with my desktop and did a clean reinstall 2 weeks ago.

But still disturbingly, my ENTIRE ~/Picture directory (and subdirectories) from my PC were loaded onto my phone.

Now, I'd like to clarify, I do have a few Google accounts, but I have them logged into my desktop with containers on Firefox (particularly, I use one for a current hobby type situation that I have to use, and the other is a 20+ account that I've moved away from, but I still want to monitor).

I want to find out why anything from my PC ended up on this somewhat secluded phone. I have not attached it via USB, and while I have been attempting to limit my connections, I do need to access some of my rl/PC stuff on the phone. But I haven't logged into a google account on it, yet, all my photos showed up on it. I have not plugged it into the computer since I tried putting GrapheneOS on it, which failed due to it not being unlocked (PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG HERE, BECAUSE I STILL HAVE TO WAIT 2 WEEKS!), yet all these pictures that I would have never expected ended up on this phone.

And I just was looking around my ~/ directory, and I saw a directory titled .nuget... I checked pacman (I'm on Arch, so that's my package manager), and it's not installed, but I deleted it because it had a lot of sketch files that ... okay, so I deleted the directory and honestly I don't have it anymore to state what exactly was in it. But I'm really tired and it triggered issues, and I looked and I see that nuget is not installed... so okay, I'm just gonna end this here because I do need to go to bed.

But, would anyone be able to provide any assistance/advice/suggestions on how the heck my phone magically obtained my Linux desktop Picture files?

Cas' Short Slices were a series of reviews for my favorite short stories, previously posted on reddit. Each comes paired with a full length novel or novella that comes stylistically or thematically close. These are #1 to #5 (by date of posting, not ranking!).

• Selkie Stories Are For Losers, by Sofia Samatar

There are stories to read and forget. There are stories that linger in my head long after, shouting to be remembered. Then there are stories that haunt me like a ghost, that don’t need to shout for me to never let them go.

Selkie Stories… draws you into the heartbreak of a teenage girl lost in the mysteries of her broken home and the stories she tells herself to make sense of it all. It carves a window into her burgeoning relationship with her co-worker Mona and her own darknesses. In the narrator, Sofia writes pain and hope and grief and the reckless desperation only young love can bring.

Even for a short story this piece is brief, spanning a mere three thousand words. But those words pack a hell of a punch, enough to leave me breathless – and that’s a magic of its own.

Read it yourself here at Strange Horizons.

Hungry for more? Check out How To Be Both by Ali Smith, a Man Booker-nominated novel with similar themes running throughout, gorgeous prose and characters that’ll make you cry.

• Love Is Never Still, by Rachel Swirsky

Sometimes when you chase after something, you find in the end that what you’ve been looking for only exists in the figment of your imagination. Inside your head, the object takes on a life of its own until it diverges from real life. It’s always painful to realize what you wanted all along was never really there in the first place.

Rachel Swirsky takes the classic story of Galatea and Pygmalion and casts all players under scrutiny. Not just the artist and his sculptor but behind them, the affairs of Aphrodite who gave life to a statue and her contentious relations with the remaining Greek pantheon. It’s a love story, but also more than that. This story explores how nature shapes who we are, the many faces of desire and how it can change into something darker, something unpleasant.

I tend to wax over good prose but it’s such a hard quality to define, let alone master, that I have to give it mention here. The descriptions are vivid and strong, each scene painted clear without falling into the pitfall of purple prose. And these words aren’t window dressing – the author knows what she wants to say and how to say it. This story is a long one – more novelette than short story – but definitely well-worth the read.

Read it yourself here at Uncanny Magazine.

Hungry for more? Check out Glimpses by Lewis Shiner.

This is a book I really love, and it’s all but unknown in these parts. Ray works as a radio repairman in 90s’ Texas, who finds one day an album by The Doors appearing in his workshop. Only thing is, the album’s never been recorded and released. Over time, Ray learns to walk down alternate timelines into the past – where he has the possibility to change things and make a difference.

Lewis tackles difficult themes such as the obligations of someone trapped in a loveless marriage, alcoholism and the struggle not to project your needs onto others. What’s more, he does them justice.
On surface level, these two are nothing alike but the parallels are there in the characters of Ray and Pygmalion, both of them are looking for something more without knowing what it is they really want.

Want something closer to Love Is… in theme? Try Galatea, by Emily Blunt. A different take on the story, presented in the unusual form of interaction fiction. It’s well-written and considered to be one of the best in it’s genre. Available online here.

• The Dancer On The Stairs, by Sarah Tolmie

There's been a lot of clamour recently for stories that aren't entrenched in darkness and grit. We're all tired of seeing depressing things in social media, in the news. Sometimes all you want is to see a ray of light shining at the end.

Enter The Dancer... where a young woman finds herself awakening on an empty flight of stairs, stretching forever in both directions. She's thrust into another world with no preparation, not even sharing a common language with the people there. Without crichtén - the coin of the stairway - she has no way past the guards stationed on each floor. And crichtén isn't something that can be bargained for. So she wanders on, lost and hungry and desperate to learn and navigate a culture entirely alien from her own.

Why I love The Dancer... is that ultimately, it's a story about kindnesses. From the guard sympathizing with her plight to the old pilgrim sharing his knowledge of the world with someone hapless as a newborn, it tells you that while the world may be cold, it isn't cruel. There are people out there who are willing to reach out to those in want, and to extend a hand into the dark.

Read it yourself here at Strange Horizons.

Hungry for more? Check out The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. Much lauded by /r/fantasy, this book contains much the same warm tones and hope carried by The Dancer... If you haven't checked it out yet, I'm adding my voice to the chorus telling you to do so now!

• Fox Magic, by Kij Johnson

Throughout mythologies there are countless variations of the story of the changeling wife. Selkies, huldras and crane wives play on the theme of captive spirits lured into the world of men by force or trickery.

In Fox Magic, Kij Johnson allows us a glimpse of the inverse through the eyes of a kitsune, or fox maiden. The unnamed narrator grows infatuated with the master of the property on which she and her family resides. The man is married with a wife and son. She is a fox, she does not care. And in this way the story delves into the quiet horror of seeing a person trapped in a waking dream, in what another thinks is love.

The nature of magic is that it's often cruel, giving power to one and not another - easy enough to parallel in the real world. So we have to not just look but see, and realize when it's past time to let things go.

Read it yourself here at Kij Johnson's website.

Hungry for more? Check out The Forgotten Beasts Of Eld by Patricia McKillip. Though she writes with a lighter touch than Kij, Forgotten Beasts... is very much in line with the themes in this short story - how strongly magic tempts when it promises to give you your heart's desire, how affection needs to be a two-way street.

• Second Person, Present Tense by Daryl Gregory

Nobody can choose the circumstances of their own birth, and some people come into being in more unusual ways than others. Most of us create an identity for ourselves through the passing of time and gathered experience. For Terry, it's nowhere near that simple.

The moment Terry comes into existence her parents are waiting to claim her, parents she doesn't remember. The doctor informs her that the drug Zen is responsible for stripping away her knowledge of who she was. Whoever inhabited her body before the overdose, she's gone now and left Terry there in her place. And already she's started to form memories of her own, disparate from the expectations of the people calling her their daughter and wanting her back again.

Second Person... is centered around the themes of self-actualization despite the expectations of those around you. Whoever you were is unimportant, what matters is who you are in the now and in the end, it's up to you to make your identity.

Read it yourself here at Clarkesword Magazine.

Hungry for more? Check out The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker. Chava, the titular golem, comes to life during a voyage to a promised future in New York. But the one who's commissioned her dies in an unexpected manner, she's left unmoored to find her own way in a strange new city.

Who is this book for?

For almost anyone who is afraid of viruses, trojans, greeks, or lefthanded satanistic poodle pruners who want your data. For those cipherpunks who know that The Man is out to get 'em. For those who realize that masking their identity when they buy dog food online is imperative to democracy and freedom as we know it.

Now, the author recognizes that people vary in skills. Consequently, the steps increase in skill level as they progress. The skill level is neatly placed in the margin next to each step.

[BEGINNER] Step 1. Turn off your computer

If you don't know how to do this, you can yank out the power plug from the wall. If you don't know how to do this, just stop paying your electric bills. NOTE: If you take this latter approach, this will take longer than 30 seconds.

Once the computer is off, you're 80% of the way there. The computer is secure from all but the most insidious of blackbag attacks. Anything beyond this step requires an advanced knowledge of computers. (And some biceps. Eat your wheaties!)

[ADVANCED] Step 2. Smash monitor, case, hard drive, ethernet cable and (why not?) mouse with C and XML 1000-page doorstops, er, textbooks.

Now the computer is completely secure from all attacks.

[GURU] Step 3. Go outside, away from computers. Become a lumberjack or something.

Why are you still reading this? You're supposed to be outside. Some guru you are. Can't even read.

Found this while browsing through the first ever wiki hosting the "WikiWikiWeb" over at C2. As the site and content changes, I am submitting this as a text post. Community is still around, and it has an excellent layout and its just full of very funny and old school (and informative!) things. The site comes to mind on occasion and I just get lost browsing and seeing the amount of information hidden within those pages. I might finally get around to working on a spiritual project.

So, who wants a fun rabbit hole?

The Future I Saw is a 1999 manga by mangaka Ryo Tatsuki about supposed prophetic dreams. Supposedly many of those predictions would come to pass 15 years after each dream, or else in 15 year cycles (e.g. if something didn't happen in 2001, it could happen in 2016, then 2031, etc.). Purportedly this includes the deaths of Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana, and the 1995 Kobe earthquake, though those are debatable based on the fact they occurred before the manga was published. Or at least, Freddie Mercury's death was. There are currently two chapters translated and based on the foreword they were published in 1995 and 1996, and I don't know what year the Princess Diana prediction was published. I also don't think she published before the 1995 Kobe earthquake since she claimed that dream was only 15 days before.

As an extra note: she wasn't publishing the manga to spefically taut herself as a psychic or prophet. The two chapters that have been translated feel like a pretty standard example of a mangaka recounting some weird or mysterious event in their lives. In these chapters, she specifically focused on the bit about Freddie Mercury, a dream about her uncle's funeral, and a recurring dream of a woman in what she later learned to be an air raid shelter after finding it on a walk. And then the news reported a woman being found murdered there with the same clothes as her dream.

She's far from the only one who I've seen illustrate a story about a wild or creepy coincidence, I'm sure I've seen others also recount dreams that turned out to feel semi-prophetic. She just apparently had enough such stories to compile into a thematic volume, which makes sense since she apparently kept a very detailed dream journal to at least the 1970's. So lots of chances for her dreams to match up with reality.

However, some predictions that did come to pass afterwards, and the reason this manga became viral? The 2011 earthquake, and COVID.

Specifically, the cover included text on a notebook page saying "great disaster March 2011" which she added based on seeing the text in a dream shortly before the deadline. In regards to Covid, she supposedly predicted a great virus would strike the world in 2020 and peak in April, but it wouldn't be too deadly. The not deadly part was wrong... But she also predicted it would come back in 10 years even worse, so... Yeah, let's hope she's not psychic.

Now, to emphasize: a bunch of it is most likely coincidence. I've seen sources claim as many as 12 or 13 of her predictions have come true, but I can't actually find a full list of predictions to gauge the actual accuracy. The only one I can find is this Medium article, but it got the "death as a manga artist" wrong since she did retire around 2000 after publishing this volume. That said, there's definitely confirmation bias going on by people who want to believe she's psychic. She has some very avid believers. And also, again, she kept a dream journal since at least 1976. It makes sense some of those dreams would coincidentally line up with future real world events.

But it's still interesting. It feels rare to have two different big events predicted by a single source, so that adds a layer of intrigue and just a hint of "but what if...?" as you look at the other predictions. Based on the articles I've scoured, the big ones that have yet to occur are an eruption of Mt. Fuji (originally predicted for 2021, now pushed back to 2036 because of the 15 year thing), and an earthquake and tsunami in Kanagawa between June and September 2026.

The one that's currently making news and prompted this writeup: in the 2021 reprint, she predicted a major tsunami would occur in July 2025. So naturally people are saying last night's earthquake was that one. The details don't match up: she predicted the earth would crack open under the seabed between Japan and the Philippines (so the opposite side), that the waves would be worse than 2011, and people thought her descriptions of "boiling seas" indicated a volcanic eruption. But it's still an interesting coincidence that there was, indeed, an earthquake and tsunami in July 2025. And apparently that's good enough for some people to count it as an accurate prediction. Also, July isn't over yet, so uh. Who knows?

For some bonus reading if you want to dive into the rabbithole: There's a full Wikipedia page about that prediction, and the mild frenzy in the leadup to July this year. Most of the information I've shared came from various articles published just this year as a response to the growing rumors about it. That said, a lot of articles also seem to be either AI translated or maybe even AI written or researched with little human oversight, as many wrongly use male pronouns for her. I also haven't seen any articles reference the actual content of the manga beyond the big predictions, so chances are they're all regurgitating information that originally spread from a small selection of articles. So that just adds to the quagmire of iffy information available in English.

Still, like I said, it's kind of fun to look at and wonder. It's almost certainly just coincidence, but it's also the kind that leaves you wondering if maybe, just maybe...

Just wanted to share an update on the stuff I overshared in this thread nearly a month ago.

It's been an incredibly long, frustrating, but successful month. Within a few days of writing that post, we took my son to the doctor and I just explained everything going on. The doctor seemed as unsure as we were whether my son was experiencing illness or anxiety, so she decided to tackle both. He got some medication for the stomach issues and we got the ball rolling on getting him into therapy.

The following few weeks were very hit-and-miss. I tried to get him to drive with me on little errands here and there throughout the week to get him out of the house, comfortable in the car, and to try to work through the fear he was experiencing. At first it would take quite a lot of convincing and sometimes I got frustrated and acted like an idiot. Eventually we got to a point where the convincing took less time and resulted in less tears (and frustration). But we are at a point where he's getting better at calming himself down and going in the car even if he's a little scared.

We still haven't made much progress with getting him in the car with his sister though. We've done a few trips to the nearby park all together, but my wife had to sit between them to calm him down. Likewise, he's still hesitant to sleep in the same room as her (they share a room for now). And again, it has nothing to do with her, aside from her overreacting to him being upset and him being upset by that. It's a vicious cycle. Honestly this is the most difficult part right now because it's making doing anything really complicated. We literally cannot do family trips anywhere without taking two vehicles. More on this later.

One of my biggest concerns in the other thread was that he was scheduled for eye surgery toward the end of the month and pre/post op appointments and the surgery itself would require a lot of driving. I'm happy to report that he handled every single car trip relating to it like a champ. And the surgery itself was a success, and recovery is going really well. Also apparently thanks to COVID, parents are no longer allowed to go back to the operating room until their child falls asleep, which we didn't realize until a few seconds before they took him back. Which was really difficult for us as parents and for him as well. He keep mentioning it and I try to talk him through and explain that we didn't know and that we're sorry, but wouldn't have let him go if we didn't know the doctor and nurses would be taking good care of him.

And he had his first therapy appointment this morning. It was just an intake appointment so the therapist could get a feel for what's going on and to get to know my son a little bit. But I feel a lot better about things than I did a month ago. I know we still have a lot of struggle and work ahead of us (he starts 1st grade next month...Getting him and his sister there is going to be interesting).

I think the next few weeks are going to be spent working on getting him and his sister together in the car more. We're already working on the bedtime issue. The last two nights we had them together in the same room to read a bedtime story together and then afterwards she slept elsewhere. Just trying to baby step our way toward solving that problem.

Lastly, I wanted to thank you all for your support and comments in the original thread. It was very helpful to be able to write everything out and get some validation, advice, etc.

I've been having a difficult time recently, which has been leading to my absence here and a lot of crying in my real life. I don't deal with letting go too well. I keep texts and pictures and messages and every once in a while I like to look back at them and remember that somebody out there at one point was capable of loving me.

It's not like I don't have friends that love me either, I've spent days and days at other people's houses just crying, people have taken me out to eat and cry and just feel my feelings, and people have been reminding me about the things they like about me too. I mentioned it to a friend that I've been having trouble letting go and we dug into it a bit more, about why I want to keep these things. My friend asks why I need the love to come from other people first. Where is the self love?

My core issue has always been needing to be reminded that I am loved. It's really silly sometimes, because on some level I know that I am. But something is missing.

There's an old saying that we judge other people by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just a bad person. Or if I think I am. Because if I didn't have that, why would I have such a hard time forgiving myself?

I don't really know how to self love, to be honest. I spent all day today barely working, just mindlessly staring at a screen playing a stupid game and not leaving the house. I dunno. Maybe I just need some ideas. I set up a couple more appointments with my therapist this week, but sometimes when it's 2 in the morning like it is now I just can't sleep and spend more time hurting myself in my own head.

Edit: This thread went off the rails a little in that the top comment is an indictment of religion (and me as a purportedly religious person) rather than an answer to the question. For the record I am not, and have never been, religious. I did go through a spiritual period, long ago now, but it wasn't associated with religion or God. Cheers, though, to the non-proselytizing religious Tilderianites who are trying to be good humans.

Clearly I should have done a better job of anticipating the potential misunderstandings but the ship has sailed.

I didn't want to steer the conversation by leading with my own thoughts about what the answer might be, but I've posted them now that the thread, like religion, is waning.

Don't let it stop you from posting your own take!

The question, rephrased is: As religion plays a progressively smaller role in society, how will we fill on the gaps that leaves? See below for example gaps.
[/edit]

I realize that the title is maybe evocative because it presumes that religion is going to wane but statistically it's reasonable. The percentage of the population that identifies with a particular religion correlates inversely with the education level and wealth of a country.

As countries develop, religiosity decreases. There are probably exceptions, but I don't think the numbers leave room for much debate about whether or not religion is declining globally. In fact, if you look at just the western world, excluding developing countries where both religiosity and fertility are high, the numbers are even more stark. Presumably as education level and quality of life in developing countries improves they will have a similar decline in religion to other developed countries.

Assuming climate catastrophe doesn't dramatically set development back for everyone of course. Totally a possibility but humor me and, for purposes of this thread, let's not speculate too much about that.

I realize also that none of this is really new information, just establishing context, in that spirit...

Historically religion has served some very important needs. Among them:

• Community. Religion has been a key part of community in much of the world. We know humans need it, for all sorts of reasons, and I believe that right now we can see some of the problems that arise when they don't get it.

• Meaning. Vitally important to mental wellbeing and well covered by most religions. I think some of modern society's ills are partially attributable to the meaning void left by declining religion. Meaning here referring both to meaning in the personal sense as well as meaning in the larger sense of being part of something bigger than yourself that feels deeply important.

• Mortality. A key selling point of most religions is that they answer the question of what do do with the problem of impermanence. I think it's clear that, under the surface, many people are deeply insecure about their mortality and that it subconsciously informs their behavior in often not so great ways. So solving that problem with eternal rewards or whatever has been very important to the health of societies.

• Decency. Religion usually lays out what constitutes being a good or bad person and establishes rewards and punishments to encourage people to be good. Note that I'm not saying an external set of guidelines is required for people to be decent, only that historically that role has often fallen to religion. As a result, a lot of our modern values have their roots in ancient belief systems.

• Organization. Religions have often been at the core of important initiatives to improve people's quality of life and step in during disaster. They provide an ostensibly well meaning third party around which to centralize efforts.

• Faith. There are definitely downsides to believing things without evidence but as a temporary coping mechanism when things fall apart, faith is hard to beat.

And more of course, I'll stop there for brevity.

I'll skip laying out the downsides of religion, for better or worse it's declining and will likely continue to decline. I think that's enough for purposes of the question: How do we replace it?

What are we going to fill the voids opened up by waning religiousity with? I have a lot of thoughts about the topic but no real universal answers. And I think it's a question we're going to need answers for, especially as we go into worsening global insecurity caused by climate change, wealth inequality, fascism and so on.

We're going to need foundational shared values. Is that possible without a centralized authority?

I realize it's a giant topic, I won't bias it with my own thoughts going in, feel free to take it in any direction you want.

This morning I found a receipt in my kitchen. It was from my roommate, who had ordered pizza from Dominoes the night before. When I looked at it, I was shocked. There was a single line item on the order, two large pizzas for the sum of $75.98 USD. I thought, "what the hell is this? How is he spending so much on pizza? And the junk they sell at Dominos? They don't even make the crust there!"

But then I looked down to the actual amount paid and it had a discount: $54.00 off the price for buying two of them. So the effective price was a much more reasonable $10.99 each. That's less than a third of the sticker price. After tax and an in-house delivery fee, it was still under half of that price.

I don't eat out that often, and fast food is especially rare for me, so I've been fairly insulated from this, but it seems that this kind of thing is happening everywhere. One pizza place I do get food from occasionally is Pieology. Their pizzas were roughly $10 not too long ago, but in recent years those prices have ballooned, with some locations asking for $15 for the same pizza order. But the secret is that they are actually still selling pizzas for those prices if you use their app - it's just that instead of giving you the real price, you get free "perks", which is your choice of a drink, cookie, and things to that effect. I never go to McDonalds, but I've heard endless complaining about how expensive it is. The retort I hear is, "you better get the app". The app is a privacy nightmare that requires practically every permission it could ask for in order to function, so rather than actually getting deals you're just subsidizing the cost of your food with the sale of your personal data.

There's almost no way to definitively prove this, but one argument that I find compelling as to why restaurants are doing this is because of delivery apps. Delivery apps take omission from the purchase price, and people really don't like seeing that they're paying more for things on the apps than they would be in the stores, so shops are raising the base price of their food in order to make things seem more fair, while offering in-store discounts so that they don't lose out on revenue from lower-income people who wouldn't order from delivery apps. If that's the case, that would mean that people ordering from those delivery apps are not only paying more for the privilege, but they are actively pushing up the prices for everyone else as well. And that's just ridiculous.

The party tonight consisted of

• Jeff, half-elf Druid 5 / Fighter 3 / Magus* 4
• Lee, gray elf Fighter 4 / Magic-User 4 / Thief 5
• Oryn, high elf Magic-User 5 / Thief 6
  • Henchman Takeshi, human Ranger 4
• Varda, human dual-class** Cleric 6 -> Magic-User 3
  • Henchman Rudy, halfling Druid 2 / Thief 3
• Vordt, half-ogre Cleric 4 / Fighter 4
  *Magus is a custom subclass of Magic-User I created.
  **Varda intends to become an occultist, another custom class of mine; becoming one functions similarly to bard, where you begin as Cleric, transition to Magic-User, and then finally become a proper occultist.

To recap the prior session, the party went into the dungeon again and explored a new direction, finding a long hallway with bas reliefs in brass decorating the walls. Behind a set of brass double-doors was a 90' by 40' chamber with four major points of interest.

• An oblong, 4' tall x 10' wide altar with a basin filled with water and treasure.
• A fountain streaming endless water without overflowing.
• Four pillars with gargoyles atop them, unmoving.
• A drape along the south wall covering something.
  After a cursory search, Rudy set to looting the basin, which triggered the entire altar to begin rolling forward and the marine life carved into it to animate. Rudy jumped out of the way as several combatants closed in. Many attacks and spells were slung its way, and it lashed out with teeth, tentacles, and pincers as it slowly rolled to face individual combatants. As Lee was caught by the fury of the altar, the gargoyles animated and began flying in to harass the party. Though the altar was defeated, the gargoyles seemed keen on taking Takeshi out, as by the end of that round he is bleeding on the floor. Varda then invokes a chant and uses a limited wish to revive Lee and transport everyone to a safe location. As everyone blinked, they found themselves in the domicile of the two old clerics hiding out in Woodpine, sage and incense filling their noses rather than the brine of the altar chamber.

They spend a week licking their wounds and allowing the clerics to tend to them, then set out again. Oryn casts invisbility, 10' radius on the party as they leave town and travel to the Temple dungeon. They work their way back to the altar room and have an easier time clearing out the gargoyles, afterwards noticing that these appear to be zombies wearing cloaks. All but one of the cloaks were too damaged to be of any use or value, so they remove the one and continue on.

They enter a room whose main attraction is a pool with a triton in it. The triton telepathically connects with the party and pleads for assistance before a kraken is summoned through his sacrifice and they all die. Varda, through knowledge granted by their patron, is slowly becoming suspect of the situation. The triton pleads individually with several party members, attempting to suggest they enter the pool and remove his chains, unbeknownst to them; I am rolling their saves in secret and they're passing them. Lee attempts to shoot it with an arrow, and the arrow dissolves before reaching the triton.

Finally, its gaze meets with Vordt's, who was ready to leave, and he fails the save. Vordt begins removing his armor to jump into the pool. Lee (4'9" 191 lbs accounting for gear) attempts to stop Vordt (7'8" 441 lbs accounts for gear) via grappling. He gets a lucky waist cinch that is immediately broken by Vordt as he lands a knee to Lee's jaw, dealing a staggering 11 points of subdual damage to him, but he takes it like a champ as he sits out, stunned from the blow.

Jeff casts web in a wall between Vordt and the pool as they figure out how best to handle him as Oryn and Takeshi move to open the door behind them. Varda, in a desperate attempt to save Vordt, utilizes a clerical dispel magic and fails to remove the charm from Vordt. Varda then utilizes their anything item to turn it into a rope of entanglement, which then hogties Vordt.

The party drags Vordt out of the dungeon safely and regains his senses the following day, shortly before the rope returns to its original form, t hen makes the several-day journey back to town to split the loot. Varda will receive no XP this go around, but the gems the party found elsewhere amounted to the PC shares totalling about 3700 gold each. Oh, and Oryn is now partially gargoyle, as they put on that cloak I mentioned earlier and then took it off.

This is the sixteenth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing The Heaven and Earth Grocery Store by James McBride. Our next book will be Cats Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut at the end of August.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.

And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

My wife and I are in Tokyo for a couple of days, before moving on to Kyoto. We have a few restaurants booked already, and have a friend or two in the city who will show us around, but I wanted to solicit some recommendations from people here too. We are staying in Ginza area but happy to walk/use metro to explore other parts of the city.

Any recommendations for good shopping or good food? I’m interested in vintage/second hand clothes, kitchen equipment, etc but honestly open to any suggestions of things to check out!

EDIT:

Well, I’m back stateside now, and I want to avoid bumping this thread too much by going through and thanking people, but I found all of these comments really useful! We ended up having a great time and ate some great food, most of the time by popping in places that looked good when walking by. Did some nice shopping as well (I managed to pick up my dream watch from a small store in Omote-sando!) Thanks everyone for the great recommendations, it was useful to get my bearings, and now I just can’t wait to go back.