-
18 votes
-
Experiences with foster system and support for removed relatives
Hi Tilderinos! First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed...
Hi Tilderinos!
First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed from the custody of their parents. The letter asked me to complete a form to indicate the level of involvement I'm interested in having with said child's placement and/or support.
We don't know what the child's situation is. I'm the furthest-degree relative they search for - hopefully someone closer will step forward, but unfortunately, based on what I know of our part of the family, other relatives may not be in the best situation to take on a child. I'm hoping that this would be a temporary situation and that the ultimate goal is for the child to be reunited with their parent(s), but we have no information at all right now other than "child was removed and we're looking for support from relatives."
I'm going to call the contact info on the letter tomorrow, as we received it after business hours today. We've discussed our comfort levels with caring for a child and what type of situation we could say yes to and what we would have to say no to. We are very fortunate to be in a stable situation (in control of our own housing, dual incomes, qualified for leave programs, etc.). Our point of view currently is that this child is a child in need of support, and we are willing to provide what we can as long as it's not overtly detrimental to us or to them. I already filled out the form the best I could in a manner that corresponds with our comfort level, which is approximately that placement with us would be a possibility but not right this instant, and otherwise we're happy to correspond or communicate in whatever way benefits the child. (We suspect that the child is currently 1-3 hours from us, so frequent physical assistance on our part would be less doable unless the child were placed with us.)
Is this something you've been through before? What experiences have you had with child placement? (I'm actually not even really sure what questions to ask beyond this, but if you have been down this road and are comfortable sharing, please do!) We've discussed adopting or fostering before, but only in hypotheticals, as it's something we weren't planning to look into for 5-10 years (we're in our early 30's and are not having bio kids). Something externally-initiated like this was never on our radar. Any guidance, tips for questions to ask, or experiences you would like to share would be welcome!
33 votes -
Advice request: potentially adopting a cat
My wife and I are potentially adopting a cat. The cat is an adult, not sure the exact age (but will see if that’s known when we get it). The long story short is, a close friend had 3 cats (I think...
My wife and I are potentially adopting a cat.
The cat is an adult, not sure the exact age (but will see if that’s known when we get it).
The long story short is, a close friend had 3 cats (I think strays as kittens but not 100% sure, I think they were acquired at different times - they do not appear to be related to each other), but due to the current political state of the US ended up moving abroad on a visa for this past year, and is planning on staying away for longer. Initially, the cats were staying with another friend but that has recently fallen through (I think they did not expect the 3 cats to be as much to handle as they are, they keep getting onto counters, eating food that is left out/left unattended, and scratching furniture, and at this point they’re getting fed up with them), and we were asked if we could take any of them
We have met the cats quite a few times, and they do seem friendly towards us.
My wife seems very allergic to one of them, but only mildly allergic or significantly less allergic to the other two.
We currently live in an apartment that does allow pets, but this would be the first time either of us have owned a cat, so unfortunately I think we could only take one of them.
I’m thinking we could probably use some advice on things to consider and best practices.
Preliminary research has said to get 1 or 2 litter boxes, feed at regular times, running water bowls are preferred, and get lidded trash cans. We plan on keeping the cat on the same food and litter type, at least initially. I know there are other things, and we will take the cat for a check-up and establish a vet. Due to my wife’s allergies, we are planning on keeping the cat out of the bedroom and running an air purifier there, and hopefully visiting an allergist before we adopt the cat if time permits.
But I’m wondering what others’ experiences have been with a cat in an apartment and what advice you may have? (How to keep them off of counters? Keep them from getting bored while at work or while working from home?)
30 votes -
I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it
My oldest zygote is 5 years old. Up until now, I've been able to keep a good lid on what he's allowed to watch. We have Roku with a handful of streaming services, and he's comfortable navigating...
My oldest zygote is 5 years old. Up until now, I've been able to keep a good lid on what he's allowed to watch. We have Roku with a handful of streaming services, and he's comfortable navigating it himself to watch shows. I'm big on teaching agency and responsibility, and he's responded well to that: he watches shows we've okayed, asks about other shows he's interested in, and respects us if we tell him no. He's a smart kid and I'd like to keep him that way.
It's starting to get harder. Originally I could say on on grounds of age appropriateness, or I could point to things about a show that I outright didn't approve of for him. This is important to me because I want to teach him to think about these things and make good choices for himself in the future. So instead of telling him "No, you can't watch that", I want to tell him "No, you can't watch this because _________."
Now that he's getting older, he's asking more and more to watch things. And in some cases, I find myself saying "No. It's hard to explain why, but this isn't good." I hate saying that because I know that's not satisfying at his age, and it doesn't teach him anything about how to make good choices about what to watch.
YouTube is rife with examples. If my son is watching a branded show about Spiderman, I know what to expect. There are brand standards that I don't always agree with, but I know what the damage is, and the problems I have with those shows are problems I can talk through with him.
But when YouTube recommends videos that are low production quality videos of people in their living rooms playing with Spiderman figures, I don't want him watching it. Some of it feels Elsagate-adjacent (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elsagate) in that it seems harmless but you are just waiting for it to veer into weird or inappropriate territory. There's no trust between me and the content creator. Sometimes they're just harmlessly dumb. But in any case it's hard to explain why I don't want him to watch something that appears harmless to him.
Does anyone have similar experiences? Advice? Commiseration? Perspectives?
40 votes -
Advice with my Nextcloud + Kodi set-up
Hey there! I'm trying to repurpose a Raspberry Pi that's been collecting dust for a few years, and I'm a bit out of my depth with systems/networking, so I'm hoping for some guidance on what I did...
Hey there! I'm trying to repurpose a Raspberry Pi that's been collecting dust for a few years, and I'm a bit out of my depth with systems/networking, so I'm hoping for some guidance on what I did wrong (or what I could've done better).
The story is: I upgraded my PC and had an old SSD lying around, and I also had a Raspberry Pi that I never really had time to toy with. I figured I could combine both and make a small family “drive” where everyone can upload photos/videos/documents and keep them in one place at home.
Then I realized the Pi sits right behind the TV, next to the router since the Ethernet cable is short. So I thought: if it's already there, maybe it could also be a media player. The idea was: upload videos and store them on the SSD then play them on the TV via Kodi.
What’s going wrong is that Nextcloud uploads are painfully slow, even short videos take ages, and movies are basically impossible. On top of that, once files are there, Kodi playback is choppy/laggy.
I'm not sure what the real bottleneck is. Nextcloud was already "kinda slow" before Kodi. I don't know if this is Docker overhead/volume configuration, the Pi just being overloaded, Nextcloud background work (previews/scanning/etc.), or the SSD adapter to USB C limiting speeds.
If you have ideas, I'd really appreciate pointers on where to start diagnosing, and what the "sane" architecture is here (even if the answer is "don't do both on one Pi").
TL;DR: Tried to reuse an old SSD and a Raspberry Pi to make a family Nextcloud drive, then added Kodi because the Pi is behind the TV. Nextcloud uploads are extremely slow and Kodi playback is laggy. Not sure if it's Docker, Nextcloud tuning, USB/SSD adapter, or just too much for a small device. Looking for beginner-friendly troubleshooting steps and/or a better setup plan.
9 votes -
How to get into camping/hiking again?
Hey there, going to keep this short: I used to love camping and hiking, but now can't quite bring myself to do it, this is partially due to the fact that I am single, and none of my (very few)...
Hey there, going to keep this short: I used to love camping and hiking, but now can't quite bring myself to do it, this is partially due to the fact that I am single, and none of my (very few) local friends would ever be interested in joining.
So, does anyone around here have any tips or ideas on how to get into hiking or camping again?
8 votes -
How do you plan out your meals for the week/meal prep?
These days, it's been difficult for me to figure out what to make for dinner. I scroll through recipes on TikTok and various other recipe pages that I've come across, but I can never seem to...
These days, it's been difficult for me to figure out what to make for dinner. I scroll through recipes on TikTok and various other recipe pages that I've come across, but I can never seem to figure out what exactly I want to make. It gets to a point where I just give up and eat out somewhere... which is a convenient option but not very cost-effective especially for someone who's going on one year post-grad and trying to make more home-cooked meals.
Do you plan your meals throughout the week? How far ahead do you plan out what you're going to make? Do you meal prep and, I guess as an extension of this topic, how does one start getting into the habit of meal prepping? Would love some help trying to get back into the rhythm of cooking.
23 votes -
Kiosking Ubuntu computers
I recently set up some public computers with Ubuntu at a hackerspace. People kept logging into their Gmail etc. and forgetting to log out. For their own benefit I changed the computers to use...
I recently set up some public computers with Ubuntu at a hackerspace. People kept logging into their Gmail etc. and forgetting to log out. For their own benefit I changed the computers to use overlayfs so on reboot all changes from the base filesystem (Ubuntu 24.04 + packages + updates) are lost. I'm looking for tips on configuration. Keep in mind that because our users tend to be fairly technical I am not attempting to outright prevent changes, just prevent them by default.
Here are the current details:
- The machines have a wallpaper warning users that all changes are wiped on reboot
- The normal automatic update system is disabled (updates through it won't persist)
- I install updates and reboot on a cronjob at 5am every day (this uses
overlayroot-chroot) - The overlay is implemented as an encrypted filesystem on a separate partition, with the key generated on boot and held in memory
- Documentation is taped to the desktop computer itself educating users on how to make persistent changes
13 votes -
Can I hope to defeat telematics in a new car?
Could you recommend a make of vehicle whose spy tech is easy to disable? This is the highest hurdle and single most important factor in my search for a car, so my other preferences and needs fall...
Could you recommend a make of vehicle whose spy tech is easy to disable? This is the highest hurdle and single most important factor in my search for a car, so my other preferences and needs fall far second. I would like an electric vehicle or hybrid model with no less cargo room than a Prius, and not larger than a mid-sized station wagon, with a track record of low repairs. Correct me if I'm misinformed, but applying those criteria seems premature until I can identify something I can make private.
I have only ever bought used cars, and have lived the same story many times: I will construct elaborate spreadsheets, research models until I could host a video walk-through of trouble spots to watch for, then will shop and cavil until I make a purchase I'm proud of. Sure, it ends up 25% over my initial budget, but I pat myself on the back for a full 18 months afterwards. Nice work, careful consumer. But it's then the repairs begin, and soon I'm spending $3-4,000 a year maintaining my certified reliable used car.
So, I am searching for a newer used car or a new car whose telematics can be disabled. I have read through discussion boards, but weary quickly at the comments defending the cozy convenience of the corporate surveillance net or chiding people like me for even trying. I don't care. If lacking or disabling spy features means I can't use my car as a phone, that sounds like a win to me. I know a little about cars and have alright technical know-how. Most importantly, I am resolute. I will not drive a car that listens to me or transmits video of my travels. Has anyone had success here?
47 votes -
Finally making the jump to a custom router so I can have all my outgoing traffic over mullvad but that brings with it two questions for me
Changing Mullvad server at router level Reddit is becoming increasingly more and more hostile to VPN connections to the point where I often get the "whoa pardner" error message and have to try 4-5...
Changing Mullvad server at router level
Reddit is becoming increasingly more and more hostile to VPN connections to the point where I often get the "whoa pardner" error message and have to try 4-5 different VPN servers on my desktop or phone before I finally get one to work with Reddit. Same thing sometimes with Google/YT, it keeps asking me to prove I am not a bot and a bit of experimentation with the servers gets me through.
This makes me wonder, is it as easy to switch my Mullvad server on OPNsense? I get the sense from the YT videos I have watched, I have to effectively setup an entry for every Mullvad router as separate instance on my OPNsense' VPN WireGuard settings and toggle which instance is being used at the router level?
I know I can technically have Mullvad on my router to hide all my traffic and then on all my devices that I use Reddit on, I can additionally have Mullvad on them too and play with the servers I am connected to on my device specifically until I find one that works but I am curious what the workflow is if I choose to do all my Mullvad related configs at the router level.Making custom block?
I have a love-hate relationship with Reddit. On one hand, I can't deny that certain subreddits are useful as someone in tech, but I also can't deny that certain subs are just a time-sink and some subs are just toxic (looking at you AITA). I can often prevent myself from browsing the time-sink/toxic ones but sometimes I lose myself in them and I am in search of a way to block them via Mullvad at my router. Obviously a DNS-block won't work if I want to block reddit.com (the home page) and certain specific subreddits but leave any other tech related subreddits open for me to read so the next best thing I assume is some kind of firewall? But I don't know if such a firewall exists that can basically start doing regex on a URL to see if it should be accessible from within the network? Which makes me wonder if I can create my own firewall but I don't even know the first step, as in would this be something that integrates with OPNsense, or a stand-alone program I have to create myself? I know Python, Java and have some basic knowledge of C++ but don't even know if those are the language I need to know to create such a filter or if the filter I am looking for is even possible? Any and all pointers welcome.
19 votes -
Any tips for learning a new language at my age? (50s) via Babbel?
I learned French to schoolboy level as a, well, schoolboy. I've remembered quite the remarkable amount I think. Learned The Klingon Language must be 20 years ago, to a point where I could converse...
I learned French to schoolboy level as a, well, schoolboy. I've remembered quite the remarkable amount I think. Learned The Klingon Language must be 20 years ago, to a point where I could converse with other speakers to some extent, but never the best.
More recently I've become quite interested in historical linguistics, from watching Simon Roper with Old English, and Jackson Crawford. Old English fascinates me as we were never considered clever enough at school to study English properly - that was only for the clever kids.
Because I couldn't find a good Frisian online learning resource, I decided to try my hand at modern German.
Been following Babbel for about 2 months now so super early. I "completed" the first set of lessons and have been doing the vocabulary tests to try and make sure these sink in before progressing, but I find that I regularly only get 2/10, 3/10 on the flashcards.
I've started doing whole first lesson set again, and I find them really easy. I'm basically intuiting a lot of the questions from knowledge of English, French and "common sense" I suppose. Is it odd that I can 100% the lessons easily and quickly, but the vocabulary tests just aren't there for me? My listening and speaking seems quite good according to the app.
Is it too early to tell (I think it might be), should I supplement Babbel with something else, like live learning (perhaps eventually, not right now - I think it'd be pointless at such a low level).
Anything else? Interested in anyone's thoughts.
13 votes -
Cloud hosting in EU
Hi! I've decided to move some of my selfhosted things from on-prem (at home ;)) to the cloud, and at the same time I'd like to try and run this in EU, or at least europe. I'd like to get started...
Hi!
I've decided to move some of my selfhosted things from on-prem (at home ;)) to the cloud, and at the same time I'd like to try and run this in EU, or at least europe. I'd like to get started fairly quickly as this was prompted by one of my home servers halfway dying on me.
The features I'm most interested in are approximately:
- Virtual machines.
- Storage. Cheap long term for backups (similar to S3 Glacier).
- Managed DB, most likely postgresql.
- Serverless jobs (similar to AWS lambda).
- IaaS (I've got a bit of experience with terraform, but it doesn't have to be that).
- Builtin monitoring.
- Git hosting, it's likely that I'll just go with github/gitlab here, but if there's a nice alternative I'm up for it.
- Automated sending of email. I'm using AWS SES atm, and I'm very happy with it.
Some other things:
- I intend to run a combination of services written by others, e.g. nextcloud and software I've written myself.
- I'll most likely be running linux only, but I prefer to select my own flavour where it makes sense.
- I much prefer managing permissions and users in gcp than in aws as I find aws way too complicated for my needs while gcp mostly just makes sense.
- I'd prefer a platform that's being developed and improving over time with big potential for the future.
- This is a hobby project, and some of these requirements may seem a bit contradictory or non-optimal, but that's ok.
- I have some experience running kubernetes (self-hosted), and I'm not a huge fan of the complexity and yaml files, at the same time OpenStack is getting kinda old, and I don't know if I think it's a platform for the future. But from what I see most of the options seems to be built on top of one of those.
- Cheaper is of course better, I don't have a company-sized budget, this is all coming out of my "hobby pocket".
- I live in Sweden, so datacenters geographically close is a plus.
Right now I'm looking at European alternatives to Amazon Web Services (AWS), and Scaleway is looking the most promising, but I'm really skimming the top when it comes to info atm.
Hope that makes sense =) I'm interested in all kinds of feedback.
22 votes -
Things to do when you've lost your job
** Edit: I updated my situation below in a comment but I'm gonna keep this post up to help others! ** About a month and a half ago I was put on PIP to step up at work. Feedback has been good over...
** Edit: I updated my situation below in a comment but I'm gonna keep this post up to help others! **
About a month and a half ago I was put on PIP to step up at work. Feedback has been good over the last few weeks but not enough I guess. I was told I was terminated today.
The job market out there is rough right now and I'm not sure what to do. I know a lot of people here have faced similar situations and everything, so I'm wondering if there's any tips/tricks/thoughts anyone has.
I'm an Android developer and was working in fin-tech adjacent work if that's relevant.
51 votes -
Treadmill advice
I am thinking of buying a treadmill so I can run even when its nigh impossible outside (for example this week most days had slippery snowy goop out, probably still can run most days but coupled...
I am thinking of buying a treadmill so I can run even when its nigh impossible outside (for example this week most days had slippery snowy goop out, probably still can run most days but coupled with how early it gets dark and how cold it is I am just not morivated most days in the winter). Biggest problem I have is that I live in an apartment, so I am scared I couldnt run cause my downstairs neighbors would hate me. Is there any way to make it work? Or does anyone have any ideas how to properly motivate myself to run in winter? I used to go running every other day and I loved it and I want to run more somehow, I barely force myself to do it like once a week now in the winter. Its just annoyingly cold before I warm up, or if I put on too many layers instead I am too sweaty after I warm up. Maybe I need better clothes?
12 votes -
Struggling in my relationship
Preface: Sorry if this isn't the place, and if I'm cagey on some specifics. Also sorry for the length, this turned out a lot longer than I anticipated. My partner and I have been together for...
Preface: Sorry if this isn't the place, and if I'm cagey on some specifics. Also sorry for the length, this turned out a lot longer than I anticipated.
My partner and I have been together for nearly 8 years at this point. This was my first serious, long-term committed relationship; every other one I'd had was short-lived (<3 months) and I hadn't exactly had a lot of them. Maybe this is why I was blind to the cracks until things got unavoidable.
It started off strong and passionate of course, and things moved rather quickly. We (they, I'm not on the title) bought a house and we were expecting a child within a year. I should have kept things slower, thought with my head instead of blindly following my heart. I'd been very lonely for a very long time. I was happy those first few years, even if in hindsight the cracks were beginning to show. Even before baby came along, intimacy fell off a cliff. I had many talks about this with them, which led nowhere much really. The rest of the relationship still felt solid to me though. I pressed on.
In the beginning, they had a better job than I did. I earned far less. Luckily an opportunity came up for me to finish my schooling and further my career, and I put a lot of work into achieving just that. Now things have changed with that, and I feel like we could be doing well together... If it weren't for the financial instability I feel they bring. I'd never been great with money, but my partner's father took me under his wing and taught me a lot of financial literacy. I became adept at putting together spreadsheets and managing our finances. Our first major crisis we overcame together through being very fiscally conservative and digging our way out. We also had several windfalls that helped us out. Then... another crisis, again because of overspending on their end. We pulled from our IRAs in order to stay afloat, with promises to do better. Then... another crisis. Again. Same reasons. We put together a loan against the home's equity. More promises.
We are again heading to a crisis. We are out of windfalls and options and frankly I'm exhausted.
Finally, parenting and housekeeping. I've always loved how my partner cares so much for their children (from a prior relationship) as well as ours. They have a way of making magical moments which I envy. This is contrasted by their complete inability to parent effectively. There's no consequences, no expectations, no boundaries, and it's infuriating. Initially it wasn't quite that bad, and I felt I had equal say in parenting. Over the years, that's eroded to my partner viewing me as authoritarian and domineering. The kids know they'll get their way with them so why would they ever come to me first?
Maybe it was the extra time during COVID but they also put more effort into housekeeping early on as well. Now I feel it mostly falls on my shoulders, and my will to clean and keep up is murdered by the fact that within hours it's a mess again. It isn't helped by the fact that my partner is a hoarder. I have to gut things from the house in secret. I haven't seen the corners of my walls in ages. I spent a week while they were away cleaning the home top to bottom last year. Within a day it looked like a bomb went off.
These are all things I've tried discussing with them, multiple times, over the years. I mostly get brushed off, or (what I feel now are) empty promises. Most infuriating to me is "I don't know what you want me to say." I want you to say what's in your heart, what you feel! Don't tell me something you think I want to hear, be honest.
I feel I know where this is going, I don't want to fall in the same trap I see many couples are in where it's clearly over and yet they keep moving along. We're not married, a clean break is reasonable, I know my partner can be mature about things because their relationship with their ex is amazingly calm and chill.
I'm terrified in a way of being alone again.
I don't really know where to turn for more perspective. I've already talked with my sister, and a close co-worker who is going through some of the same feelings I am. Those conversations have been very helpful. Recently, what really put things in stark contrast was the other day when my partner's father asked "So is everything ok between you two?" If he went out and asked, it means it's really obvious things are not ok.
I've been fantasizing a lot lately about what a split would be like. Making plans for where to go, and figuring out how to reconcile things like accounts, items, and debts. Worst of all I've been fantasizing about being with other people; the intimacy and passions has been gone between us for a long time. The last time my partner initiated anything between us was a year ago, and I don't even remember the time before that. Everything feels so wrong and unsatisfactory.
I told them yesterday we need a frank talk, and not through text this time - their preferred method of communication with me for a while now... But I have no idea when we even have time for that away from the kids.
Closing thought: I don't want to feel like I've pre-determined my outcome here. I feel I've done what I can though, to make my own feelings clear. Thank you for any thoughts.
53 votes -
Views on over-posting?
Hi Tildians, As a chronic over thinker, I just realized I have held off of sharing a number of cool space articles to ~space because I didn't want to spam posts and couldn't decide which one was...
Hi Tildians,
As a chronic over thinker, I just realized I have held off of sharing a number of cool space articles to ~space because I didn't want to spam posts and couldn't decide which one was cooler.
So, I figure I should ask: what's our consensus on over-posting? Is there such a thing? Should I just let my adhd loose and share all the cool space news I see?
31 votes -
Advice on Fairphone
I have been an Android user for a long time, but I never bothered to buy a new phone when I didn't feel I needed one, so my current phone is very old (Android 7.0). There are several annoyances I...
I have been an Android user for a long time, but I never bothered to buy a new phone when I didn't feel I needed one, so my current phone is very old (Android 7.0). There are several annoyances I see in modern smartphones that I'm kinda hoping to avoid, the biggest one being that I want to be able to replace the battery. I'm therefore eyeing the Fairphone for being modular and repairable.
- Has anyone used a Fairphone and can talk a bit about what it's like?
- Does anyone know the best time of year to get the best deal? Should I wait until after Christmas?
- Will I still be able to side-load/use F-Droid? I hear that Google is putting a stop to this but if I get one that allows it now, will it continue to allow it in perpetuity?
Would love to hear some input from fellow nerds who know more about this stuff than I.
Edit to add: I'm in Germany.
26 votes -
How to customise status icons in Android 16?
Hullooo, today I got updated to Android 16 by GrapheneOS autoupdater. I'm 99.5% happy with it as I trust them more than myself with regards to privacy & security, but... The battery icon in the...
Hullooo, today I got updated to Android 16 by GrapheneOS autoupdater.
I'm 99.5% happy with it as I trust them more than myself with regards to privacy & security, but...
The battery icon in the status bar is invasively ugly and disturbing.
It's too big and it changes colour, makes me shiver!
So... Is there anyway to change that? Most importantly the size (to match the other icons) but also the colour stuff.
23 votes -
Library exhibit brainstorming
Hey, tildes - cqns here, I work in a library and, once in a while, when I have time, I make something called a "display", which is essentially a curated selection of books for the public to check...
Hey, tildes - cqns here,
I work in a library and, once in a while, when I have time, I make something called a "display", which is essentially a curated selection of books for the public to check out, which lasts for approximately a single month. Usually, most people do things very linearly with their displays, a single letter-sized paper that serves as the title label for the topic of the display, and then the physical books in an array on the shelf. I, however, think that most of the displays are particularly boring in the way that they approach the public, hence my need for brainstorming.
What I have in mind is an interactive one-stand exhibit, akin to an art gallery in a museum. The title of the exhibit is "Libri Insoliti", which roughly translates to "strange/unusual books". It is a nine item list that includes the following titles in order:
- The Road - Cormac McCarthy (BOOK, AUDIOBK, EBOOK, DVD, BLU-RAY)
- The Mezzanine - Nicholson Baker (AUDIOBK only)
- Several People Are Typing - Calvin Kasulke (BOOK, AUDIOBK, EBOOK)
- Hopscotch - Julio Cortázar (BOOK - as compilation, EBOOK)
- Ficciones - Jorge Luis Borges (BOOK, BOOK en espanol, AUDIOBK en espanol, EBOOK en espanol)
- The Employees - Olga Ravn (BOOK, EBOOK)
- House of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski (BOOK only - Read one page to find out why.)
- "S" - Doug Dorst (BOOK only - some cutouts missing)
- Finnegans Wake - James Joyce (BOOK, EBOOK)
Of each title, I have my written piece on the side that informs the public on what to generally expect when reading the specific titles...and then a QR code that links to a Vocaroo recording of yours truly narrating that which I've already written. Therein lies the rub - in my side of town, it appears as though the general public may not know how to use a QR code, hence my idea being to go a bit above and beyond.
With the QR code method, people may not realize their device's volume level is extremely high and cause distraction. The library is ideally a quiet place for people and I would like for the exhibit's audio to be non-intrusive, leading me to another idea: the purchasing of some type of equipment that allows patrons to listen to the exhibit audio with attached headphones only. There are many things to consider, because the exhibit is in an area which a plug is not easily accessible, so ideally, it may need to work with a battery pack of some kind. I do have, in my possession, a Raspberry Pi5, but, it needs to be plugged in to work. So, does such a device exist? I've searched it up extensively and came across this (https://www.digitalaudiotechnologies.com/product/soundclip-2-2-button-looping-or-pir/), but I don't know whether or not this would even work. Any suggestions?
17 votes -
How long do homemade olives stay safe?
Hey Tildes food crew! I made some olives 3 years ago and kind of a "set it and forget it" situation. And well, I forgot them for too long. It's been 3 years now and I've only found them because I...
Hey Tildes food crew!
I made some olives 3 years ago and kind of a "set it and forget it" situation. And well, I forgot them for too long. It's been 3 years now and I've only found them because I was looking for jars for a new batch. I opened them up and didn't hear any "hiss", they smell good, there is no sign of mold (on the 2 good ones I'm keeping, we did lose one jar to mold), and I did a small taste test and they tasted olive-y and good. They have been in a cupboard for the entire time and I'm happy to share the recipes if that is helpful. The olives in each were slit to facilitate faster edibility. They both have a 5% brine, one with red wine vinegar and the other with balsamic vinegar.
I know we have quite a few crafty, homesteady, foody folks here and would appreciate any advice you can provide! Just making sure they are still safe to eat! Thanks!
16 votes -
Tips for becoming a tea person
Sadly, I think I need to reduce my coffee intake. I only ever had a cup a day, but I've always been in to light roasts... roasted within walking distance of my house*... super fancy shit. Anyway,...
Sadly, I think I need to reduce my coffee intake. I only ever had a cup a day, but I've always been in to light roasts... roasted within walking distance of my house*... super fancy shit. Anyway, I'm trying to nail down some health things, so coffee has to go for a time.
I am now a tea person. I don't really like it, but I need something like that in the morning. I've started with Lapsang Souchong. This is pretty much the only tea I've ever had. I don't have any dairy in my diet, either, which seems to be a big part of tea-life.
Any top tips for getting into tea? I was just mocked for weighing tea... I guess that isn't as important in this scene.
* not joking about this :)
edit: thanks everybody! the first round of teas are:
- Lapsang Souchong
- Hojicha
- Irish Breakfast
- Margaret's Hope
so far so good!
52 votes -
Career mentorship: How does one find a mentor?
Have you had a fulfilling mentorship, whether as mentor or mentee? How does one gain a mentor? Are there professional associations that one pays a fee to join? Advice on career development wanted....
Have you had a fulfilling mentorship, whether as mentor or mentee? How does one gain a mentor? Are there professional associations that one pays a fee to join?
Advice on career development wanted. Especially advice for introverted, neurodivergent women in business.
optional rambling
Background : I'm not young anymore, and to be honest, I feel embarrassed to be doing front line starter level work when [*comparison to others redacted*]. I like the day to day work I'm doing, I love working remotely, and I'm not interested in climbing the corporate ladder or spending my time managing people. But I do feel somewhat taken advantaged of by Sales team pushing work onto me, when I'm in support team. Its very difficult for me to stop speaking with "probably / I think / I feel that" etc; I'm working on appearing and speaking with more confidence. I am always receiving feedback that I'm fun and caring of others and easy to work with, but when I ask for opportunities at work it's always "we'll see" --> ghost --> "no". The gist of it is that I don't feel like I'm taken seriously.I remember @lou mentioned that they were a writing mentor, but it took a lot of work and wasn't always rewarding. I understand that nobody wants a free-riding hanger on, of course. I do feel like I'd be willing to put in some work, but because we can't really know what we don't know, I don't know what I'm asking of a mentor. I don't have a clear goal? I joined a work committee recently but they're SO quiet no one is even saying hi, let alone feel like a community, or enabling more personal relationships.
I do realise it's entirely possible that I'm mediocre at "career" because I'm mediocre at "work", and i should keep getting better at work before expecting more. But I might also be held back by enduring values of "serve others quietly and take care of others while keeping your head down": my first professional job was so abusive but my parents got so mad/scared for me when I finally quit. Who do I think I am, asking for more?
I'm the go to person for a few types of things at work now, but I feel more like the laundry lady than "subject matter expert" that sales people like to introduce me as to clients. Sorry for the rambling.
I want to hear a variety of stories, of how you became good at "career", beyond becoming competent at "work", and how you learned to be good not only at what you do but how you go about doing what you do.
Thank you for your time.
20 votes -
I ran a 50k today, please clap
I ran the dead horse ultra today! It went well, I had to work through some foot discomfort and crashing physically from going out too hard. Ran the first half in almost exactly 3 hours and...
I ran the dead horse ultra today! It went well, I had to work through some foot discomfort and crashing physically from going out too hard.
Ran the first half in almost exactly 3 hours and finished up the second half in just over 3 1/2. It was my first ultra (and actually my first official race longer than 5 miles) and I am very quite happy with how it went.
I am tentatively planning on running a 50 mile race sometime next year and depending on how that goes shooting for a 100 mile at some point in the next couple years. Anyone who has any questions (or advice) please let me know!
74 votes -
Matching mouse dpi and acceleration across Mac and Linux?
I use a Mac for work, Linux for my personal machine, and the same mouse between the two. I’m accustomed to the dpi/acceleration on Mac, so when I switch to my PC at the end of the day there are...
I use a Mac for work, Linux for my personal machine, and the same mouse between the two. I’m accustomed to the dpi/acceleration on Mac, so when I switch to my PC at the end of the day there are slight inaccuracies with the pointer. My wrist compensates to cover the gaps and I develop wrist strain after short periods of use.
Does anyone know how to make the Linux mouse dpi/acceleration as close to identical as possible with my Mac?
chimera linux w/ gnome btw
8 votes -
Advice on poor Linux performance vs Windows
Hello! I recently reworked my setup such that I have my drive which holds the operating systems (dual boot of Windows 11 and Linux Mint Cinnamon) and another drive which holds all my actual data....
Hello!
I recently reworked my setup such that I have my drive which holds the operating systems (dual boot of Windows 11 and Linux Mint Cinnamon) and another drive which holds all my actual data. This is my first dive into trying to move to Linux as my daily driver but I'm noticing some performance issues.
The first thing I noticed is that transfer speeds are much less than expected. Copying a large file within my data drive I get about 300MB/s on Linux, which is pretty slow for M.2 drives- I get about 10x that speed doing the exact same operation on Windows. I could be okay with this but I also noticed that some video files, like the 4K mp4s off my phone, are virtually unplayable. They'll run at maybe 1fps and/or bog down the UI so much I cant even use the seek. This is the case in both the default media player and VLC. These same files play with no issue on Windows.
I suspect the reason for all this stems from my data drive being NTFS, though my file system and Linux knowledge is pretty weak so this is just a theory. Any ideas / best practices that might help me here?
28 votes -
The Mul: A half-human, half-dwarf race from Dark Sun
I have been working on adapting the Mul from AD&D 2e's Dark Sun into my general AD&D 1e campaign to coincide with the deletion of gnomes (they deserve it). I chose to not simply take them 1:1...
I have been working on adapting the Mul from AD&D 2e's Dark Sun into my general AD&D 1e campaign to coincide with the deletion of gnomes
(they deserve it). I chose to not simply take them 1:1 since even the dwarf has different mechanics in Dark Sun. I took into consideration what the dwarf is good at, as well as how the half-elf and elf relate, and tried to model it in the same way.What I'd like is opinions from people with experience in the pre-WotC editions of D&D that are pre-disposed to picking demi-humans on whether the mul is something they'd pick.
Note that the Runecaster is a Fighter subclass from a 2e supplement that I've ported back and the Occultist is a personal creation that combines the cleric and magic-user with additional abilities in the way that the 1e bard does with the fighter and thief.
- Requires Strength 8 and Constitution 6
- Gains +1 to Strength and -1 to Charisma
- Gains +1 to poison saves per 4 points of Constitution
- Can detect certain aspects of stonework within 10'
- At 30%, detects grade/slope, new construction/passage, moving walls/rooms
- At 25%, detects traps relating to pits, falling blocks, etc. as well as approximate depth underground
- Thief adjustments as follows
- -5 to Open Locks and Read Languages
- +5 to Move Silently and Climb Walls
- Infravision 60'
- May qualify and check for psionic ability per the PHB Appendix 1
- Classes Allowed (Level Limit), with dwarf for comparison
- Cleric (U), 6* for dwarf
- Druid (6), NA for dwarf
- Fighter (8), 7* for dwarf
- Runecaster (9*), U for dwarf
- Thief (U), 10 for dwarf
- Can qualify for Occultist, NA for dwarf
* Having a prime requisite of 17 or 18 will increase this limit by 1 or 2 levels, respectively.
- Cleric (U), 6* for dwarf
8 votes -
DM-ing with a stutter?
I have a friend who plays in my regular D&D game and has a pretty significant stutter. The rest of the party are great about this and are very patient and understanding, so I'm not looking for...
I have a friend who plays in my regular D&D game and has a pretty significant stutter. The rest of the party are great about this and are very patient and understanding, so I'm not looking for advice in that area, but this friend has also expressed a desire to create and run a campaign. I would love to play in his game, but I know he worries that his stutter would severely restrict his ability to be an effective DM. Unfortunately, at least as far as traditional DM-ing is concerned, I think he's just objectively correct. But that got me wondering - are there ways to work around his impediment or rearrange the typical flow of a D&D session that could allow him to do it?
Things we've considered:
- Asynchronous play by text (in Discord): This technically would work just fine, but it obviously doesn't feel the same as real-time play where everyone is in the moment together. IIRC, the last time we talked about this, he didn't really sound interested in pursuing it.
- Him doing the writing and prep and me actually running the game: This also would technically work, and I told him I'd be honored to do it, but I'm sure he'd prefer to not have to filter his ideas through someone else and trust that person to execute them faithfully. I know I would feel bad every time I failed to deliver something the way he intended. I also wouldn't be able to be a player for him if we did this.
Things I've wondered about but not suggested yet:
- Is there some sort of text-to-speech (TTS) engine that he could use to help him run the game in near real time? I'm thinking like a Stephen Hawking situation. This would relieve the social pressure of having to overcome the stutter, and it would also allow him to write chunks of speech ahead of time and just paste them in at game time. There would of course be delays as he types out improvised parts, but it would still be closer to a traditional experience than something like asynchronous play.
- Is there a way we could pull off a kind of co-DM arrangement where he's more involved in the moment, rather than simply writing and planning? This would still take me out of his pool of potential players, but it would be better than me just running the game by myself. What could this look like?
Are there possibilities I'm not considering? What tools and strategies could he/we use to mitigate this and help him be successful as a DM? Is there a way to dramatically reimagine what a D&D session looks like that might still be fulfilling for him and everyone involved?
Edit: Should have mentioned we play online, so computer-based tools would be excellent options. They'd fit in very naturally.
Obviously the solution will be highly specific to him personally, and I'm not trying to solve all his problems for him without taking into consideration what he wants. We've talked several times over the years about his stutter and his attempts to eliminate it, and it's a conversation we return to every so often. I'd just like to have some ideas to suggest next time this comes up.
Thanks in advance, everyone!
18 votes -
Modular storage systems?
I'm currently working on decluttering, and coming up with processes to stop clutter from building up in the future. Even after getting rid of a bunch of junk, I'll be left with a ton of stuff that...
I'm currently working on decluttering, and coming up with processes to stop clutter from building up in the future.
Even after getting rid of a bunch of junk, I'll be left with a ton of stuff that historically has just "floated around" my living space (cables, adapters, small tools, stationary, batteries, etc...).
I'd ideally want a bunch of appropriately sized containers that I can organize stuff into. I'd love for each box to be some tesselation of a standard volume, so that I can arrange and stack those containers neatly in a drawer or on a desk.
If you happen to work with 3D printing, this may sound a lot like Gridfinity, a modular open-source grid storage system. And I agree! Gridfinity's goals completely meet and shoot past what I'm looking for. But I currently have no interest in investing the money or time into buying a 3D printer and making prints. And there doesn't appear to be an obvious commercial version outside of "random" folks on Etsy.
I also considered getting a Drawer Grid like you'd see in a Maker Space. I might end up getting this if I can't find a better option, though I'd prefer a storage solution I can stuff in a drawer.
I was curious if:
- Anyone had any product recommendations that might fit the bill
- Anyone had any thoughts on the organizational endeavor itself, and if there are any ways I could be going about this better.
18 votes -
Travel essentials: eight items to pack for your next trip – and what to leave at home
34 votes -
Looking for low-cost ways to replace industrially processed foods
A prototypical example of what I am looking for would be fruit juice. Where I am at the only options for something that isn't orange or apple are overpriced lemonades with about thirty to fifty...
A prototypical example of what I am looking for would be fruit juice. Where I am at the only options for something that isn't orange or apple are overpriced lemonades with about thirty to fifty percent fruit content and truly expensive 100% ones.
Usually I simply buy the expensive ones and add 1-2 parts water ending up with better tasting juice at same or less cost.
Another step would be squeezing fresh fruit yourself but that adds time, space, complexity and money costs.
What things can be done in a typical kitchen without buying additional single purpose appliances? Sufficiently multipurpose ones or small tools are fine. Basically I want to reduce the number of steps in which the food is industrially processed.
23 votes -
Supermarket rewards card- yes or no?
I have held out for years from getting a loyalty/membership card from supermarkets as I hate the tracking that they do. But here in the UK so many prices are now locked behind it in most...
I have held out for years from getting a loyalty/membership card from supermarkets as I hate the tracking that they do. But here in the UK so many prices are now locked behind it in most supermarkets, it feels like I’m just giving them so much extra money it’s getting ridiculous. I end up spending more money to shop where they don’t do this, but most of the major players are now adding these member only prices it’s hard to keep the status quo.
For other privacy minded people, how do you manage this?37 votes