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    1. Buy burned land

      Tis fire season again here in North America and Europe. From my house in coastal California I grieve every year as more of my favorite forests burn, from British Columbia to California. There is...

      Tis fire season again here in North America and Europe. From my house in coastal California I grieve every year as more of my favorite forests burn, from British Columbia to California.

      There is no end in sight for this transition. So what can we do to at least mitigate the worst of its effects? I think the time to play defense over pure "wilderness" is long gone. The forests that haven't burned are still beautiful, but they're riddled with disease and so overgrown the ecosystems are permanently distorted.

      Every year there is less pristine forest and more burned land. I'm a fourth generation Californian and the Portuguese side of the family still owns a ranch in the foothills from 1893. But I own nothing and the prospect of being able to afford land in California has forever been beyond my reach. Burned land needs to be rehabilitated in a thoughtful manner. I'm hoping once my daughter finishes college and our life starts a new chapter, that I can find a few acres where I can make the best environmental impact, such as a headwaters, then invite experts onto the land to teach me how to best heal it.

      Every year I have this idea, and every year more areas become available (in the worst sense). I don't need to live on this land. I don't expect it to be much more than grasses and saplings for 20 years. I'd get out to it one or two weekends a month, rent some equipment and hire some folks as I could. I also understand that my original thought that this would be immune from future fire seasons is wrong. But at least the land can be designed to be as fire resistant as possible, with a clear understory and single large trees. And that is another part of the allure. This acreage would come with its own challenges for sure, but in some sense it is a blank slate. The permaculture people could show us how to remediate and reconstruct the land from the bones up.

      I know this project would be an aggravating money sink, and even perhaps an unrealistic and irresponsible fantasy by someone untrained in forestry management. But there is so much burned land now. Every year another giant 4% stripe of California goes up in smoke. Yet this idea just doesn't catch on. It entails a lot of patience and work. I know it's not what most people want to hear. They want their idyllic cabin in Tahoe or nothing. But that time is quickly coming to an end and learning how to revive the forests that have been devastated is our only real choice.

      Whenever I've tried to get serious about this, though, I learn that there is no market in burned land because there is hardly any profit to be made. No real estate agent that I can find is specializing in this because their clients are having to sell ruined land and burned buildings for pennies on the dollar. I've been advised that the best way is to find a specific spot, do my research, and approach the owner directly. But, again, there is so much burned land now I hardly know where to start. The Santa Cruz Mountains? The Sierra adjacent to Yosemite? Crater Lake in Oregon?

      Any thoughts or ideas or resources would be appreciated.

      25 votes
    2. Karma

      Content warning: child sexual abuse, death I hadn't even hit puberty when you did those things to me. My friend concisely called them unacceptable and we can leave it at that. When you got your...
      Content warning: child sexual abuse, death

      I hadn't even hit puberty when you did those things to me. My friend concisely called them unacceptable and we can leave it at that.

      When you got your girlfriend pregnant, I had to pretend to be happy.

      But were you going to do the same things to him that you did to me?

      It was going to be my fault if you did, because I could have spoken up and prevented it, but I'm not sure I was going to.

      I'm not sure I'm even all that traumatized, so you can just live your life and be happy.

      I mean yeah I've been in therapy ever since and my ex broke up because of it and I don't really function.

      But who knows if that's your fault, maybe it was the bullying or the neglect or the isolation or the dysphoria.

      So who am I to blow up the whole family with accusations?

      I brought it up that one time and hinted at it but you said you didn't know what I was talking about.

      Who would even believe me after all these years?

      The boy was born six weeks early and there was wires and tubes and water in the lungs.

      A week later they said he wasn't going to make it.

      Now your baby is dead and I have to pretend to care.

      Maybe I'm a bad person.

      But the first thing I thought was "karma".

      24 votes
    3. Let's hear some Tabletop RPG stories!

      I absolutely LOVE hearing other's stories from their games. Crazy things happen in game land, and these kinds of tales inspire others to play and experiment as well. Some of my favorite moments My...

      I absolutely LOVE hearing other's stories from their games. Crazy things happen in game land, and these kinds of tales inspire others to play and experiment as well.

      Some of my favorite moments
      1. My group had a guy - Thorgrimm - who was extremely impulsive and often did whatever first came to mind. It was often hilarious as the DM to play out, but alarming as a player to deal with. One such time, the group was face-to-face with a large host of Inquisitors (read: super soldiers) from another realm. They were in an anti-magic field, outmatched and outnumbered. Not to be deterred, Thorgrimm decides to parlay in his usual bombastic style, and one of the inquisitors silenced him (there were ways around the anti-magic field which had not been fully explored yet by the party). Thorgrimm took offense to this and attacked, alone, against 30+ inquisitors. The rest of the party distanced themselves from him. Well, Throgrimm got absolutely wrecked but was somehow clinging to life with a handful of HP. He then conveniently remembered his gimmick Wish spell, that I had given the party some time ago (I considered it a funny thing to do, I've been told I create a lot of trap items). With the party screaming at him not to, he used up the Wish spell to get them out of jail free.
      2. Which brings us to my second favorite moment... The group teleported back to their employer, The Wizard Who Did It (TM), known as Nobb. He had contracted them to retrieve an artifact of great power (Dymlingen Dire, a knife so sharp it can cut you if you look at it). The party bard, Jarl, thought this was crazy cool and wanted to keep the knife. Nobb said "Yes, as long as you forfeit all other rewards for this contract." Jarl readily agreed, while the rest of the party was distracted by arguing over Throgrimm's decision earlier. Suddenly, all the amazing items they had found over the last several adventures while in Nobb's employ disappeared. Jarl, in forfeiting the reward, had given up the rights to owning those items. The party was LIVID. Jarl's Player thought it was hilarious and one of the other Player's, a lawyer, began searching for loopholes. In the end, many of the PC's made more bargains with Nobb in order to receive their items back, meaning they had worked for him at great length and somehow become even more indebted to him... Which is totally perfect since Nobb would secretly turn out to be Loki, trying to kick off Ragnarok.
      26 votes
    4. FUEL: I shouldn't be able to play this game

      I recently had a hankering to return to one of my all-time favorite games: FUEL. I couldn't stop thinking: how cool would it be if I could revisit the game from the comfort of my Steam Deck? That...

      I recently had a hankering to return to one of my all-time favorite games: FUEL. I couldn't stop thinking: how cool would it be if I could revisit the game from the comfort of my Steam Deck?

      That was my dream, but a few problems stood in the way:

      1. FUEL was released in 2009 and was delisted from Steam in 2013. (Thankfully, I have a copy of it in my library, but we're talking about an installation build that is over a decade out-of-date at this point.)

      2. FUEL still has Securom DRM.

      3. FUEL still requires Games for Windows Live, which was also shut down in 2013.

      4. FUEL is pretty mediocre unless you install the REFUELED mod.

      So, I sat down with my Steam Deck and a hope and a prayer that maybe, somehow, I could get this game working?

      Hurdle 1 wasn't even a hurdle. Proton is so damn good now. The game installed and ran flawlessly. I honestly never should have second-guessed it in the first place!

      Hurdle 2 was also, surprisingly, a non-issue. Either the Securom servers are somehow still live and actually checked my CD key, or the dialog box lied to me as part of an offline fallback and told me I was cleared anyway (I'm thinking this is more likely?). Either way, I was happy.

      Hurdle 3 was the first actual block. The game crashes when trying to pull up GFWL, which is pretty much what I expected -- the service has been down for over a decade now. Thankfully, there's an unexpectedly easy fix. Xliveless is a DLL that bypasses GFWL and lets the game boot (and save) without it.

      Hurdle 4 isn't really a hurdle per se, but that's only because the Steam Deck lets you boot into Desktop Mode and get fully under the hood. I downloaded the mod, dumped the files in the installation folder, ran the mod manager through Protontricks, and then set up all of my mod choices. I then jumped back into game mode, and the game is flawlessly running -- mods and all.

      I should also mention that I did all of this on-device. I didn't need to break out a mouse and a keyboard or transfer files from my desktop or anything. From the first install of the game to running it fully modded took me maybe ten minutes total? It was amazingly quick, and most of that time was me searching up information or waiting for the Deck to boot over and back between Desktop and Game Mode.


      I realize that, in the grand scheme of game tinkering, this doesn't sound like a whole lot, but that's honestly the point. The fact that this comes across as sort of mundane and uneventful is, paradoxically, what makes it noteworthy. If we're keeping score here, I am:

      • playing a 2009 Windows game,
      • that was delisted in 2013,
      • on a Linux handheld device in 2024.

      I also:

      • somehow passed the game's decade-old DRM check,
      • bypassed the game's second DRM system that has been officially shut down for over a decade,
      • modded the game in literal seconds,
      • and did all that using only a controller -- while lying on my couch.

      From a zoomed out perspective, I shouldn't be able to play this game. FUEL should be dead and buried -- nothing more than a fond memory for me. Even if I turn the dial a little more towards optimism, it really shouldn't be this easy to get up and running. I thought I was going to spend hours trying to get it going, with no guarantee that it ever would. Instead I was driving around its world in mere minutes.

      I'm literally holding FUEL and its massive open-world in my hands, fifteen years after its release, on an operating system it's not supposed to run on, and on a device nobody could have even imagined was possible when the game released.

      We really are living in the future. I remain in absolute awe of and incredibly grateful for all the work that people do to make stuff like this possible.

      38 votes
    5. How much space do you need to live comfortably?

      I thought of this question as we're spending three weeks in an RV with two adults and two large dogs. Its working but there are times when we're tripping over each other, even though this is a 40'...

      I thought of this question as we're spending three weeks in an RV with two adults and two large dogs. Its working but there are times when we're tripping over each other, even though this is a 40' long vehicle, there just isn't a lot of floor space for a couple of very lazy hounds. But its adequate.

      But that got me thinking about living in small spaces. Over the years my living space has varied a great deal. The smallest was three months living out of a Toyota Previa minivan. The Previa has exactly 4' x 8' of room behind the front seats which was enough for a bed with some bins underneath and not much more. But since it was just me, it was fine, but not luxurious.

      And Ive lived in a couple of small homes, including a cabin that was 12' x 20' for quite a few months. I built a tiny home on the same yard that was only 10' x 10' inside and was very efficient with a cantilevered queen size bed protruding out the back of the main living area and an outdoor bathroom beside it. It was in a warm climate so a lot of time was spent outdoors.

      Raised three kids in a 900 sq ft house that had the basement rented out so that was kind of tight. But with a backyard with the kids to run around in, it was livable. I think the biggest house we've ever lived in had about 2000 sq ft of total living space, up and down.

      Im a proponent of living small though. I think in general, many people buy far or rent far more space than they need - when I look back at the homes of the 40s and 50's parents raised 6 kids in houses that would be considered tiny homes by today's standards. Not sure how we got to "need" so much space.

      How much space do you need to live comfortably? Curious to know the difference between north American standards and other places.

      33 votes
    6. For every month a person completes their monthly exercise challenge in the Fitness app, Apple should give them a free month of the 50GB iCloud plan

      The plan only costs $1 a month. Apple can almost certainly eat that cost, and anyone who cannot complete their monthly exercise challenge because of illness or injury can probably still afford the...

      The plan only costs $1 a month. Apple can almost certainly eat that cost, and anyone who cannot complete their monthly exercise challenge because of illness or injury can probably still afford the $1 to keep the plan going.

      The monthly challenge in the Fitness app is tailored to each user based on their exercise habits, right?

      19 votes
    7. The Bear narrative structure?

      Lately I've been interested in different types of narrative structures, namely upon discovering Kishōtenketsu, the Japanese four-act structure and how it contrasts to the traditional western...

      Lately I've been interested in different types of narrative structures, namely upon discovering Kishōtenketsu, the Japanese four-act structure and how it contrasts to the traditional western three-act structure.

      Obviously narrative is not an exact science, and these structures are best thought of as guide rails to get you started, and a story can be told in so many unique ways. Which brings me to this post's title: The Bear.

      The Bear has strong themes revolving around family and personal growth, that's for certain, but when it comes to narrative, it is very unique. Episode length can vary quite a bit, and so too can episode content. Episode 1 of the most recent season was a time-bending, heartstring-tugging montage. Episode 2 was essentially just a single conversation.

      And while there are some episodes with a traditional narrative structure with a clear beginning, climax, and ending, I would say most episodes steer away from this concept. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that any sort of resolution is very rare in this show. Episodes, or even entire seasons can pass without many of the major conflicts or problems being resolved, which certainly adds to the high-pressure, anxiety-inducing mantra of the show as a whole.

      I'd say The Bear leans heavily into the Slice of Life trope. Where we're being invited into brief glimpses of the lives of the characters, where relationships are complicated, problems aren't always solved, and life is simply messy and unorganized. The Bear doesn't follow any sort of formula that audiences would find satisfying (but that certainly doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable).

      So, back to the question in the title. Does anyone know where I might read or learn more about the type of narrative structure that The Bear employs? Is there even a name for it? As innovative as the show is, is still has this certain air of nostalgia that reminds me a lot of Sopranos, which is another show that I believe breaks the mold of traditional story structure, especially in an episodic format.

      Any insight would be greatly appreciated! Enjoy your day, and godspeed.

      17 votes
    8. Why do so many recipes call for powdered sugar instead of regular sugar?

      This is a question I've been wondering about for a while as a home baker and amateur food scientist. Why do recipes for whipped, fluffy desert components like whipped cream or buttercream icing...

      This is a question I've been wondering about for a while as a home baker and amateur food scientist. Why do recipes for whipped, fluffy desert components like whipped cream or buttercream icing always seem to call for powdered sugar? If I want to add sugar to a something, why would I also want to add the anti-caking agent (usually starch I think) for powdered sugar as well? Is that starch actually something beneficial for a whipped desert? Because as far as I can tell, the only time powdered sugar makes sense is when it's dusted on top of something or incorporated into a desert that is being mixed by hand and doesn't have the shear of a mixer to dissolve or emulsify the granulated sugar. And I've never had any issues just using regular granulated sugar and honestly prefer it to powdered sugar for icings, whipped cream and the like. If a recipe calls for powdered sugar, but it's being combined with a mixer or beaters I just use regular sugar and the results are great.

      Anyone have any thoughts or experience as to what I'm overlooking? Or is it just a hold over from a time when electric mixers weren't common and you needed a finer sugar to incorporate the sugar by hand?

      18 votes
    9. Struggling with first dev job - seeking advice

      This is my cry for help. I'm a newer programmer who just got hired for my first actual programming job a few months ago. Before now the only things I really made were simple python scripts that...

      This is my cry for help.

      I'm a newer programmer who just got hired for my first actual programming job a few months ago. Before now the only things I really made were simple python scripts that handled database operations at my last job. I live in an area with no opportunities, and so this new job I got is my saving grace at this point. For the first time in my life I can have actual savings and can actually work on moving to an area with opportunities. However...

      Everything is falling apart. I have no idea how this place has survived this long. There is no senior dev for me to go to. There are no code reviews. There is no QA. There is a spiderweb of pipelines with zero error handling or data-checking. Bugs are frequent and go undetected. The database has no keys or constraints, and was designed by a madman (so it's definitely not normalized whatsoever). I already have made a bunch of little scripts handling data-parsing tasks that are used in prod, and I've had to learn proper logging and notifications on errors along the way, and have still yet to learn how to do real tests (I ordered a book on pytest that I plan on going through). I am so paranoid that at any moment something I made does something unexpected and destroys things (which... kinda actually happened already).

      We're in the long and arduous process of moving away from this terrible system to a newer, better-designed one but I'm already just so lost and... lonely? There's a few separate dev "teams" but one is outsourced and the other is infamously unapproachable and works on a completely different domain. There's no one there to catch me if/when I make mistakes except myself. The paranoia I have over my programs is really getting to me and already affecting my health.

      I guess I just want advice on what I should do in this situation. Is this a normal first experience? I care deeply about making sure the things I make are good and functional but I also don't have the experience to forsee potential issues that may come up due to how I'm designing things. And how can I cope with the paranoia I'm feeling?

      EDIT: It takes me a while to write responses, but I want everyone to know that I really appreciate all your advice and kind words. It does mean a lot to me! I'm doing my best to take in what everyone has said and am working on making the best of an atypical situation. I'm chronically hard on myself, but I'm gonna try to give myself a bit more grace here. Again, thanks so much for all the thoughtful replies from everyone. :)

      34 votes
    10. Deadpool & Wolverine discussion

      This is possibly the biggest movie of the year, definitely the biggest R-rated movie of the year (probably all time if it has any legs after last night's huge opening), and Marvel's first R-rated...

      This is possibly the biggest movie of the year, definitely the biggest R-rated movie of the year (probably all time if it has any legs after last night's huge opening), and Marvel's first R-rated flick to be part of their "Cinematic Universe", so I think it might be worthy of discussion on those grounds alone.

      I saw the movie last night in the most packed movie theater I've been in since before COVID. This experience was an absolute treat, and reminded me why I've always enjoyed going to big tentpole Marvel/DC movies opening weekend despite never really being into comics or super heroes as a kid. The energy of the crowd is downright infectious, and impossible to replicate at home.

      As for the movie itself, I enjoyed it. I thought the story was a little thin. Deadpool's character arc here is not as strong as what we got in either of his first two outings, with Wolverine doing more of the heavy lifting. The primary antagonists, Mr. Paradox played by Matthew Macfadyen and Cassandra Nova played by Emma Corrin, are also not as well developed as their counterparts from the prior films (Ajax, Rusty, and Cable). However both still turn in solid, funny performances.

      I think this is made up for by how well executed everything else is. This is a movie that only works because it is a Deadpool movie. Act 2 in particular is a non-stop assault of cameos and references that would make me groan in almost any other context, but had me laughing my ass off. The chemistry Reynolds and Jackman have on screen is palpable, making for the most entertaining super hero team up I've seen.

      Perhaps more than anything, this is a love letter to 20th Century Fox's decades-long run of super hero movies, warts and all.

      SpoilerIf this wasn't clear during its runtime, the sequence of BTS footage and clips from these films set to Green Day's Time of Your Life during the credits absolutely does.

      7.5/10. I had a great time, but I think the central premise here only works once. If there is more Deadpool in our future, a smaller cast with more focus on character work like the first two would be welcome.

      Some stand-out moments for me:

      Big time spoilers * Chris Evans as *not* Captain America * The fight scene inside a Honda Odyssey * Dogpool and Nicepool * Thor crying over a dying Deadpool * Chris Evans' incredibly vulgar post-credits scene
      20 votes
    11. Personal blogging

      Hey there everyone, I've been on here since near the start, and spend too much time finding content to post on here, but I just love this place. One thing I've noticed over the years is a severe...

      Hey there everyone,

      I've been on here since near the start, and spend too much time finding content to post on here, but I just love this place. One thing I've noticed over the years is a severe lack of personal articles, blogs, or the similar and I think it's to do with the 'officialness' of a lot of the topics.

      Would it be beneficial to just have a ~blogs section, to post links and thoughts on our personal writings? Even if that includes things like ~tech or ~cooking or whatever? Just to have a central place for our articles.

      I don't mind posting my own in ~tech, but I can imagine the hesitation for everyone else as those areas feel more in-tune with "news" than personal thoughts. We have ~creative, but that feels more for artistic endeavors and projects.

      Any ideas how we might be able to encourage more topics or links to personal (small-web) blogs (either your own, or someone else's) in the culture here? We seem to be becoming more and more a news aggregator, which is great because of the relevance and discussions (best on the web) but we have no real culture for small-web indie blogging.

      48 votes
    12. Buying facemasks in the hope of avoiding becoming permanently disabled due to long COVID

      There is mounting evidence the long-term effects of continuously getting re-infected with COVID-19 is something you would very much want to to avoid. For this reason I wish to purchase a...

      There is mounting evidence the long-term effects of continuously getting re-infected with COVID-19 is something you would very much want to to avoid.

      For this reason I wish to purchase a well-fitting facemask with replaceable filters. I managed to find two but none of them have economically feasible delivery options to Europe (shipping, import duties):

      Is there a mass-produced alternative to these boutique COVID-specific face masks offering replaceable filters? I don't mind looking like a non-conforming weirdo or someone from a building site.

      If anybody would like to weigh in with their considerations I would appreciate it a lot. Personally I find it very weird that the mounting evidence from the mainstream scientific community for the prevalence and seriousoness "long COVID" is not reflected in official COVID-19 guidelines, even in the relatively well-functioning European (by todays standards) country I inhabit. I understand the economy is considered sacred and that it takes precedence over human life but still ... ?!?

      Your thoughts on masks and in the situation in general is much appreciated.

      Risk of developing long COVID-19 is accumulative, meaning the virus persists in your body like HIV/AIDS:
      https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8883497/

      All internal organs are impacted by COVID-19:
      https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMe2400189

      Immune system is permanently damaged:
      https://www.nature.com/articles/s41590-023-01601-2
      https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/science.adg7942
      https://www.nature.com/articles/s41590-021-01113-x

      Write-up from American doctors association with less science-heavy language:
      https://www.ama-assn.org/delivering-care/public-health/what-doctors-wish-patients-knew-about-covid-19-reinfection

      22 votes
    13. Avoidant personality disorder vs (covert) narcissist accusations

      Hey all, Recently I've had a really dark period from (ab)using drugs to hide from the pain and feel good about myself. Friends noticed me becoming distant and needlessly shouting into the (social...

      Hey all,

      Recently I've had a really dark period from (ab)using drugs to hide from the pain and feel good about myself. Friends noticed me becoming distant and needlessly shouting into the (social media) void.
      One friend wrote me a long message about all these things and his conclusion was that he thought I might be a narcissist. I broke down entirely, the following days were a roller coaster ride of trying to deal with it with high and lows, talking to friends if they also noticed these things but ultimately I couldn't shake the feeling that I had to give in to my friend's accusation to mend our now wounded relationship. People pleasing is in my nature and putting others in front of my own needs is what I deal with and I cope with low self-esteem.

      My therapists all said that the accusations is not something they can see myself in but regardless of this I ended up having a suicide attempt. I saw myself as a bad person and that feeling became over-encumbering.

      I'm better now, and I feel closer to friends and family after some much needed talks and quitting drugs altogether.

      That said, what are your takes on the overlapping diagnoses. It made myself very paranoid and made me spiral at a low point.

      17 votes
    14. PWA Notifications

      Building my first Progressive Web App, it's new territory for me but I've made it installable already. I'm trying to cover a fairly simple use case, which is displaying a badge count based on the...

      Building my first Progressive Web App, it's new territory for me but I've made it installable already.

      I'm trying to cover a fairly simple use case, which is displaying a badge count based on the number of unread notifications. Intuition tells me that I'd just ping an endpoint on the server at a 5 minute interval, but I'm in new territory so I thought I'd open up the conversation to see if there's any gotchas to be aware of.

      I'd like to see if there's anyone out there on Tildes who has experience in this domain - is the service-worker always on, or is it only active once the app has been open and then backgrounded? How do I know if the app is currently open? I would like the app to query for notifications more frequently when it's opened, and only intermittently when it's closed. Any tips?

      8 votes
    15. What do you read/watch to keep up with new computer tech?

      Sorry in advance if this is kind of a ramble. Thanks for any thoughts you may have. This post asking about specific hardware made me realize that I have lost touch with major architectural changes...

      Sorry in advance if this is kind of a ramble. Thanks for any thoughts you may have.

      This post asking about specific hardware made me realize that I have lost touch with major architectural changes in PC hardware. Back in college (over 20 years ago), I was constantly upgrading and rebuilding computers, talking about them, reading about them. But that's probably par for the course in a EE program. I'm sure there must have been other online resources, but Slashdot is the thing that sticks out in my memory of that time.

      Then in grad school, my last set of desktops from college carried me through the first few years, and I had a series of laptops provided by school.

      Since then, I've always just bought laptops because they've gotten good enough to do everything I want, and with kids, it's much more flexible to be able to work anywhere in and out of the house. My latest (now several years old) has a high end I7 cpu, an NVIDIA GPU, two solid state drives (1.5TB total). It weighs just a few pounds and does everything I want, including things like Solidworks, zbrush, and older PC games.

      Since I can remember a time when I was excited about 90mhz processors and feeling like I was getting a screaming deal to pay $500 for a 500mb hd, sometimes it just feels surreal for this to be so normal.

      So, am I out of the loop? Or is this reflective of a more general shift? What do you read / where do you post to discuss hardware, hardware compatibility, etc. Are you still building desktops? Laptops? Cyberdecks? What are your thoughts on cost/value trade off of dell, etc. vs rolling your own?

      13 votes
    16. Struggling with nihilism and the inability to enjoy things

      Update: https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1hnb/struggling_with_nihilism_and_the_inability_to_enjoy_things#comment-e8s1 Preface #1: I know the first response with something like this will be "go...

      Update: https://tildes.net/~health.mental/1hnb/struggling_with_nihilism_and_the_inability_to_enjoy_things#comment-e8s1

      Preface #1: I know the first response with something like this will be "go see a therapist" - I have been in therapy for over a decade now. There are a lot of things it has helped with (specifically trauma-focused), but nihilism is not something I've been able to get help with. The help has ranged from things like "focus on the micro over the macro" (which I think is probably the best advice, but also can be boiled down to "don't think" and I can't not think), to "find religion" (for me at least: religion doesn't breed hope, hope breeds religion), to "I don't know how to help, I can't relate to that" (...not all therapist are good).

      Preface #2: I know the quick response to "life is meaningless" is "so make your own!" but I absolutely despise that logic. If everything is meaningless, than that means making your own meaning is meaningless. It's self-defeating in and of itself. That said, I don't really care about "meaning" anyway. I personally view things as "irrelevant", as if you dig deep enough you get to a point where everything is relevant to nothing. And the conclusion to draw from that is: "it's irrelevant that everything is irrelevant" - similar meaning, but checks out logically significantly better to me. But this has it's own problems that I will go in below.

      Preface #3: I know the quick response to the inability to enjoy things is "you don't enjoy things because you are depressed." What I'm positing is the inverse, "I no longer enjoy things, and it's causing me to be depressed." I'm very much not saying the former doesn't happen and I've gone through time periods like that. What I am saying is that the latter is also true, and I'm sure that other people who have dealt with depression for decades understands both "My depression is causing this to happen" and "This is causing my depression to flare" happen.


      To give quick context for myself: I had become a nihilistic atheist by the time I graduated elementary school; I had a rather traumatic childhood and my official diagnosis is (C-)PTSD and all the offshoots that come from it like depression and anxiety (Bringing up as I recognize myself these are thoughts that, according to the DSM/ICD, would be from someone with mental disorders). This led to things like dropping out of high school and becoming a mute hikikomori. To make a long story short, in my late teens I got to a point of either suicide or completely revamping my life with the belief that enjoyment could be found via actually being social (friends and dating) and proper self-sufficiency/money. I chose the latter for one simple reason: there was nothing to lose, so just trust the process. It took over a decade of constant self improvement, but I became a sociable person part of different clubs and hosting my own parties/gatherings with a very active dating life. I also got my degree in comp sci and have done quite well for myself with that. And a lot on top of that just in terms of trying to make the most out of life.

      Unfortunately, none of that actually helped. Having to mask to be able to be social/date is exhausting and frankly people suck, and wasting life working 9-5 one of the most depressing things to me. The reason I bring this up is because I did really fucking try, I tried the stuff that everyone says brings happiness - but it don't. And it's all just so irrelevant.

      Over the last half decade or so, I just can't bring myself to care about anything. And I mean anything, even super simple things. I'll talk to people or listening to a song and think "why do I care what you have to say?". I'll watch a movie or read a book and can't keep focus because seriously who cares about these imaginary things some person thought up? People I know die and I'll just think "yeah that happens." And the absolute worst for me was when it came for knowledge. Because knowledge was the thing I always cared above all else. But what does "knowing things" matter if "things" don't matter to me?

      Which brings me back to preface #2. Everything is irrelevant, but it's irrelevant that it's irrelevant. Except that society demands relevancy to justify ones own existence within it. It's not possible to live an irrelevant life and be part of society. I personally really only see two options: reject society or embrace absurdism.

      Speaking strictly personally, I do not see rejecting society as a means of living an enjoyable life. Mostly because I know it will lead to me living out of my car again, spending my time embracing hedonism via drugs and alcohol to fuel escapism until the end comes. And if in the end I'm just going to fuel escapism, why not just escape to begin with?

      Absurdism is mostly what I fed into while "turning my life around". But I do have issues with it. One is how much it feels like the "this is fine" fire meme; it recognizes the problem but then rejects that it's a problem. This is fine if "life" itself is not a problem and you are able to enjoy your time regardless (after all, the problem itself is irrelevant so yeah just reject it as a problem), but then that gets to my second and main issue: if you don't enjoy life, what defense against suicide does absurdism have? Yes there is the whole thing of "suicide just adds to the absurdity by claiming meaning is needed" but that's only if you are committing suicide because life has no meaning. I don't care that life is irrelevant, I care that life fucking sucks. Suicide then is not rejecting the lack of meaning, it's rejecting time spent unenjoyably.

      I've been able to get through things being both meaningless and unenjoyable with the belief that things would become enjoyable. Now I'm nearly 40 years old, things have played out, and I do not buy into it anymore. Either life needs to be enjoyable, or there needs to be some relevancy to it. Which, I reject the later as even being knowable as a human. Which leaves the former.

      Which then comes to the silly question, how do you just enjoy things?

      I am able to recognize one of my issues with enjoying things: In order to raise my emotional floor, I have embraced being stoic. Things happen that are out of our control. Things are lost, hardships are had, people die. They are simply facts of life. The problem is that it also prevents enjoying things - enjoyable things are also out of your control, so do not embrace them for they will be gone. Which, moments in time then neither "good" or "bad", they simple are just moments in time. Every moment is simply some indefinite, irrelevant moment in time.

      Which, kind of tied to that as well, but another issue I recognize: as I have understood my own trauma and how it's affected me, I've really understood just how much is deterministic in life. Which is especially sad in the case of trauma responses, and how much society basically double downs on the trauma (just easy eg of how "hysterical women" have been treated throughout history, but look at the overlap of BPD and traumatic childhoods).

      But now these are not just moments in time, but determined yet irrelevant moments in time.

      But that still doesn't preclude enjoying things. And I guess that's mostly what I'm for the search for in life, to figure out what things I actually enjoy/how to actually enjoy things I want to enjoy. Because enjoying life is certainly enough, but that requires life to be enjoyable.

      And it's actually part of why I'm even posting this. With all the different ways I've changed my life and such, I've tried to look back at what was actually enjoyable. And long-form text communication is definitely the way I prefer to communicate (oh do I miss when 'social media' was forums). I also recognize the importance of being part of more smaller, tighter-knit communities compared to being a blob in a mass. So it's part looking for help, and part just trying to get back into posting on smaller communities.

      But I also feel like I'm all over the place and I do apologize for that. I think to try to summarize to bring the points clearer...like I said before, life either needs to be enjoyable or there needs to be some kind of relevancy to it. So either how do you find relevancy/where am I wrong on that, or how do you find enjoyment (and I don't mean "try new hobbies until you find what you enjoy!" kind of stuff - I've already ran that gauntlet. I'm not asking where to find enjoyment, I'm asking how to feel enjoyment; how are you able to care about things might be a better war to phrase it)?

      34 votes
    17. Movie of the Week #38 - Snatch

      Next up of blockbusters is Snatch from 2000 directed by Guy Ritchie and it made $83 million in box office. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Is this a proper blockbuster with all that entails? Any...

      Next up of blockbusters is Snatch from 2000 directed by Guy Ritchie and it made $83 million in box office.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Is this a proper blockbuster with all that entails? Any thoughts on Guy Ritchie's other films?


      The rest of the schedule is:

      • 22nd: Barbie
      • 29th: Edge of Tomorrow
      11 votes
    18. Using digital platforms to make new friends

      Hi everyone, As other Tildes members have expressed through multiple topics, finding friends as adult is hard. I'm currently trying to figure what's the best way to do this for me and I was hoping...

      Hi everyone,

      As other Tildes members have expressed through multiple topics, finding friends as adult is hard. I'm currently trying to figure what's the best way to do this for me and I was hoping I could get some help. I've tried joining group activities like boardgame and table top RPG groups but while it's been good to make acquaintances I haven't been able to find someone I could call a friend. I know partly this is on me because it's hard for me to connect with others, but through repetition I'm hoping to get there eventually. I also thought recently maybe I should change or complement my approach with something else, which is why I'm here. Are there any good online platforms to make friends? I know that for the most part apps where the goal is to get people together are more geared towards romantic relationships, but that's not what I'm after, I'm looking for something strickly platonic. Ideally should be someone near me so that we're not restricted to only doing online activities.

      Appreciate any help I can get here.

      27 votes
    19. What are your beliefs about aging?

      Given all the noise about whether President Biden is frail or cognitively compromised, I thought it would be interesting to informally survey Tildes denizens for their beliefs about aging. These...

      Given all the noise about whether President Biden is frail or cognitively compromised, I thought it would be interesting to informally survey Tildes denizens for their beliefs about aging.

      These are purely conversational questions, each of which is so broad it could be its own topic - I have no skills as a demographer or pollster.

      I also realize there may be national or ethnic definitions around who counts as venerable as opposed to senile, so I'll ask you to include nationality or relevant ethnicity in your response.

      1. What decade of your life are you in - < 20, twenties, thirties, etc.
      2. In what decade (see above) do you think old age begins?
      3. What characterizes being "old" to you? For example, loss of sexual attractiveness, diminution of physical strength or stamina, illness, loss of mental agility, etc.
      4. At what age do you think you will be too old to function as you want to in life?
      5. Do you have experiences of aging (personal, family, acquaintances, caregiving roles) that give you concerns or hopes about your own future?
      6. Do you believe age confers any benefits, and what might those be?
      7. Assuming no catastrophic health events, do you believe life will seem better or worse to you as you age?
      8. Do you feel like aging people are a burden to those younger?
      9. Do you find yourself using pejorative words about age?

      Full disclosure: There is evidence that what you believe about aging influences how well you age.

      1. I'm in my 50's, US, ethnically Jewish.

      2. My current inclination is to say that old age begins around age 75 in general, but I've met people who were what I'd call old at 30 and young at 90.

      3. I know that various measures of peak {insert attribute here} start declining much earlier. 75 - 80 seems to be the point at which many things break down irreparably for the vast majority of people. That's the age range where the ability to live independently drops off, and that's what I count as "old".

      4. I hope to be independent for at least another 25 years, but that's already somewhat determined by a limiting progressive condition. My experiences with aging are biased by highly educated people and super-ager relatives. There have been several centenarians in my family, each of whom was cognitively intact until death even if they were no longer completely independent physically.

      5. I believe age confers the ability to recognize patterns based on cumulative experience. That's what passes for wisdom. The ability to acquire new memories and skills can be more rapid with connections to the previous body of knowledge. Socializing is definitely easier with many years of practice and the dulling of anxieties - the worst that can happen usually already did. For better or worse, people look up to you as a survivor and teacher...

      6. Life will probably get better with age. I've had an extended time without a job followed by a job purely chosen, so I can say that "retirement" is likely to be much more productive and enjoyable both for self and society. I expect old age to be a time of reconnecting with others and doing the charitable activities I don't have flexibility to engage in now.

      7. This is a tough one. At a general scale, we're encouraged to work as hard as possible to hoard resources that will ensure we have the means to maintain independence and purchase care when we're old. Rather, we could live lighter, share more, and build relationships which can sustain us. I count myself fortunate to avoid the burden that many others have endured when dealing with debilitated or demented relatives. And yet there are so many ways in which nations and cultures other than the U.S. do a better job of sharing care.

      8. There's a lot of online discourse about greedy boomers, crumbly conservatives, and so on, but I think those are manufactured divisive narratives. I've been acquainted with so many people over the years who don't fit neatly into demographic or political boxes. On that evidence, I don't think any generation has a greater balance of virtue or vice compared to the others.

      9. I use "adulting" and "old fart" self-denigratingly. I follow r/oldhagfashion for actual IDGAF style ideas.

      18 votes
    20. u/RNG investigates bitcoin town

      EDIT: Album available here Note: I'm writing this post as I go through my day, taking note of anything interesting. I try to do this with my diary, however for once I'll actually share my thoughts...

      EDIT: Album available here

      Note: I'm writing this post as I go through my day, taking note of anything interesting. I try to do this with my diary, however for once I'll actually share my thoughts with strangers.

      This was inspired by u/arqalite's post on the topic.

      I'm not a journalist. I didn't even take a class on journalism in college. I'm also not a writer, but at least my text is human generated. I have an audiobook I need to catch up on and a day to spare, so I'm going to bitcoin town.

      I'm not a crypto guy, but I'm not going because I think Bitcoin is bad (even though it is). I'm going because I'm curious: how loud is this bitcoin mine really? When I read the initial post I wondered about the nocebo effect, Havana Syndrome, sociogenic illness, etc. Most of the reports are anecdotes of locals, and the null hypothesis doesn't make for a sharable news article.

      I'm using this app "Sound Meter" to see how loud it is in my small suburban house. It peaks at 40dB. If you, like me, don't think in decibels, Google says that's as loud as a refrigerator hum. I'm skeptical about the accuracy of a phone app, but it's what I have.

      Outside my house there are some birds loudly chirping. I would have missed their song if I wasn't writing this. I decide that I should take a measurement. The app reads 55dB. Google says it's the loudness of a residential street. Spot on.

      I'm entering Granbury, TX and a massive American flag hanging from a crane greets me along with a pro-Trump billboard. There's a large lake running through the town. Seems like every house has a dock. Lot's of folks on boats and jet skis are visible.

      Downtown is an old court building with a clock tower. The streets are lined with mom-and-pop shops for furniture, clothing, and trinkets. To my surprise, there are a lot of shoppers here with arms full of bags. They seem cheerful. They are all white.

      The GPS takes me outside the city limits. I stop at a gas station a half-mile from the mine. I ask a couple of people about the mine while I grab a water. They've never heard of a bitcoin mine, and didn't know there was one around here.

      As I approach the destination, the bitcoin mine looms over the horizon. The sheer size of the facility cannot be overstated. This facility looks like it should be pursuing some massive scientific endeavor. I wouldn't guess in a million years that all of this infrastructure exists to mine bitcoin. My car reads 98°F (what I expected based on forecast.) I imagine cooling systems will be as loud as one can expect on a day like today. And yes, it is loud.

      Across the way, I see signs saying "Bitcoin sux" and "Bitcoin Noisehood". I take a lot of photos. I pull out "Sound Meter" and take measurements. It consistently reads 81-83dB, peaking at 88dB. Google says 85dB is the limit of safe hearing, and is comparable to the sound of a snowblower. This seems perfectly accurate to me. I'd be pissed if I lived across from this place.

      I'll be in Granbury for the next hour or so, if anyone has a specific question about the mine I'll see if I can answer it. I took a lot of photos if there is interest.

      121 votes
    21. It seems to me that movie studios, production and distribution companies are to blame for the decrease in attendance in movie theatres

      disclaimer that I haven't done much research into this thought and it's mostly anecdotal but I doubt I am wrong? I personally don't go to theaters, except for comicbook movies. and the only reason...

      disclaimer that I haven't done much research into this thought and it's mostly anecdotal but I doubt I am wrong?

      I personally don't go to theaters, except for comicbook movies. and the only reason I go to theaters for comicbook movies is just cause I liked to discuss the comicbook movies on social media as soon as possible, but honestly, either I am getting really old or the redditors on /r/marvelstudios are getting young and younger everyday cause i go to those comments and it's not really a place I'd describe as open to a civil and non-memey discussion of the latest Marvel movie but I digress.

      Point being, I personally prefer to wait for movie to arrive at streaming services. why?

      1. I don't have to deal with other people.
        1. I went to watch Creed 3 near the end of its theater run. 3 people chose to sit in front of me when the whole auditorium was basically empty (they looked to be in their mid-late 20s, maybe even early 30s.) I didn't care. What I did care was that one of the dudes spent half his time on his fucking phone. To the point that I literally had to bend over and ask him to put it away and he still didn't. this idiot just attempted to angle the phone in a manner such that I couldn't see it, or so he thought, the light still was there, just less. At that point, I just got too resentful of theaters to tell him off again but felt very stubborn about not moving away from my seat.
        2. I went to watch Aquaman 2 (iirc on opening weekend). I knew the movie was not gonna be great going in, just wanted to mark the end of the DCEU in theaters. 3 young girls were sitting in the middle section. as the movie started, these girls started taking selfies of themselves for the grams or snapchat or whatever the fuck it was. The light from their phone was bright. There was a couple sitting a seat or 2 to my right. the dude and I collectively rolled our eyes at the girls. They took 1 picture. I was like "OK, thank God". 2 pictures, I think "let's hope the second take works". Third picture "this is ridiculous". by this point, I wanted to throw something at them and just leaned over and asked them to put their phone away. I may been asshole cause it seemed like I scared them with that comment and to be quite frank, I took pleasure that I scare them, even accidentally.
      2. Theaters are extremely non-inclusive. This one bugs me a lot just cause of Eternals and CODA and Hollywood pretending they are woke. Not sure if anyone here has ever tried to use the closed captioning devices. I am personally not deaf, but I do have trouble processing words. I am the kind of guy who will often ask people to repeat themselves to fully understand what they said. Obviously can't do that with a movie but reading closed captioning helps me process. I finally decided to start trying the closed captioning devices in theaters around the time of Avengers Endgame I think. It's very hit or miss. either the theater forgot to charge the device so it gives out halfway through the movie, or it's just all old and it's neck doesn't retain it's form when I twist it into the good position and it ends up pointing the closed captioning at someone who is a good 1 foot shorter than me or it's fully charged and can retain its form but the studios behind the movie didn't put any serious effort into the closed captioning so half the fucking words are missing, rendering it pointless. My gf and I went to watch Mad Max Furiosa in theaters the other day and the theater didn't even have any remaining, they had given their to the studio to fix and didn't have any in stock as a result.
      3. Not sure about the states but up here in Canada, our big chain is Cineplex and they are so desperate to charge us extra that they now charge an extra "service fee" that you get charged only if you buy online.
      4. And the classic complaint of "just the snacks cost us a movie and a half nowadays"

      However, I don't know if I blame the theater for my issues.

      I've read the stories about how Disney have theaters over a barrel with how controlling they are with how much of a cut of a theater tickets goes to Disney and how Disney insists on how many auditorium the theaters devote to their movies. And how theaters charge so much for concession cause they are trying to keep the lights on to some extent cause the studios demand so much of the profit. And if it's a struggle to keep the lights on, I am not surprised they can't be more enforcing with the policy of no-phones during a movie.

      It seems to me the studios, in an attempt to "maximize" their profit as much as possible, demanded as much as possible from theaters, while not realizing that the less of a cut that theaters take, the less theaters can invest in a welcoming environment where people actually want to go to and therefore people come less cause couple that with streaming services, why wouldn't people come less?

      So I think the demise of theaters and the rise of streaming service can't just be attributed to how much more convenient it is to wait 8 months for a movie on streaming service but it's also attributable to the decline in quality at theaters which I think is cause studios are bleeding them dry.

      So I find it odd that studios and production companies bitch moan and complain that people don't go to movies more in a time where a movie has to make 500 million $ just to be considered profitable but they've never really done any proper self-reflection on a possible reason why people don't go to theaters as much anymore.

      23 votes
    22. Movie of the Week #37 - Mission: Impossible - Fallout

      Next up of blockbusters is Mission: Impossible - Fallout from 2018 which made $791 million at the box office. Second M:I film directed by Christopher McQuarrie. IMDb Letterboxd Wikipedia Is this a...

      Next up of blockbusters is Mission: Impossible - Fallout from 2018 which made $791 million at the box office. Second M:I film directed by Christopher McQuarrie.

      IMDb
      Letterboxd
      Wikipedia

      Is this a proper blockbuster with all that entails? Any thoughts on the franchise in general?


      The rest of the schedule is:

      • 15th: Snatch
      • 22nd: Barbie
      • 29th: Edge of Tomorrow
      5 votes
    23. Help my wife decide about AJ & Smart

      My wife is thinking about signing up for the Master Workshopper program from AJ & Smart. It’s a relatively big financially decision so I thought I would pass along some of her initial thoughts and...

      My wife is thinking about signing up for the Master Workshopper program from AJ & Smart. It’s a relatively big financially decision so I thought I would pass along some of her initial thoughts and questions here in the hopes anyone had some experience with this program either personally or just anecdotally.

      Hey everyone,

      I'm thinking about signing up for the Master Workshopper program from AJ & Smart and would love to hear from anyone who's already gone through it. If you've done it, I'd really appreciate your thoughts!

      Here’s what I’m curious about:

      1	Quality of Content: Is the material solid and up-to-date?
      
      2	Instructors: How are the instructors? Do they make the content engaging and clear?
      
      3	Practical Application: Were you able to use what you learned right away in your work?
      
      4	Community and Networking: How’s the community aspect? Did you make any good connections?
      
      5	Value for Money: Do you think it was worth the investment? Why or why not?
      
      6	Career Impact: Has it made a difference in your career or skills?
      

      Any other thoughts or experiences you can share would be awesome too!

      Thanks a lot for your help!

      15 votes
    24. A long-ish essay about Elden Ring

      This one's a long one folks. I like to compose my thoughts on stuff now and then, and ya'll have shown a willingness to engage, so I wanted to share one of those with you. I guess I could do a...

      This one's a long one folks.

      I like to compose my thoughts on stuff now and then, and ya'll have shown a willingness to engage, so I wanted to share one of those with you. I guess I could do a video essay, but that would take me a while to accomplish and I like this niche of the internet a lot. I'm also not very good at video editing. So it's for you first, so to speak. Let's drop a bunch of what we're concerned with/worried about and go hard on something cool and fun on a lazy Sunday, is what I'd say to you if we were in person. I think I could expand some parts, but I like discussion so I've saved some for that. I do lay out a bit some boundaries of the discussion I'd like to have, but it's meant more to constrain the experience of reading it than it is to delimit the discussion itself.

      Elden Ring: A Masterpiece - Introduction

      In this piece I would like to express why I think Elden Ring is a masterpiece, a kind of great work. In doing that I intend not to merely express opinion, but to analyze and understand. To deliver an advanced opinion, if you will. That, for no other reason than to simply commit the words to the page, for the hell of it. It's not an attempt to unload feelings, to rationalize or reframe things outside the game, nor an attempt to obtain agreement/consensus or some form of emotional catharsis. It's a statement, an argument meant to be taken in, considered, and discussed if folks want to do that (I would!). It's in the discussion we can go through the details of things like the feelings, how it can operate as a vehicle, where it could be improved, etc. No work is perfect, but some get closer than others, and I think this one bears some witnessing by more than just forefathers one and all.

      Before I begin, I would like to set the stage. This is not a review in the traditional sense. It's not about just the game, but how it came to be and why that can matter. The piece assumes some things. That you know this game exists, that its DLC exists, that there is a complete work out there called "Elden Ring" which includes "Shadow of the Erdtree". That's about it! You don't need to have played the game at all, and in fact I'd be interested in perspectives of folk who consider other forms of art as deeply as I'm attempting to do with this here. My statement is that this game deserves a place. It earns a spot alongside other works we consider "great" regardless whether we have ourselves accessed them. In different language, my attempt is to justify the statement, "Elden Ring is a masterpiece", to as wide an audience as possible.

      The piece is constrained to analysis in a really broad way. I'm not really trying to talk about what I like in particular, what works and what doesn't, what's good and what's bad or how I feel. That is all for the discussion, it's not the point of this piece of writing to engage in that way with it. Trying to tailor my words to thoughts/feelings I don't yet know, is just not something I'm very good at doing. I hope to foster a fruitful discussion, not have an argument, nor persuade folks to go buy something.

      I want to be considerate of my audience, too. We are reading, here. You don't get to have things like body language, tone, and reflection of feelings to take in and supplement your understanding while you read it. No combination of words, however flowery and well structured, can deliver what those things do. That circumstance operates in the reverse: I can't see your face, hear your tone, watch you and know whether what I've said is making any sense to you. So, in constructing this piece as well as in you considering it, these facts must be kept top of mind to get to the sort of discussion I'd hope to foster. If you read something and think to yourself, that you're being accused, that something you enjoy is being attacked, that something you experienced is invalid, understand that you are misapprehending what I am intending to communicate. I won't engage on that level with it, because text can't do what talking to you myself can do. I have to render my thoughts with tools that can only do so much.

      As well, this piece is not a research paper. I'm not attempting to provide sources for everything, because what I'm more interested in is delivering the broad point. That said, I have investigated what material exists - interviews, articles, statements and history. It's not my intention to display to you, how much of these things or how many of them I know. I leave it to you, the reader and discussion partner, to assert when something I've written doesn't align with what exists, when a piece of the history doesn't mean what I thought it meant.

      Ok, stage set, let's go.

      Elden Ring is a masterpiece. What does this mean, coming from me? What does it mean to use that word, in a world where words have fluid meaning? What distinguishes a work such that I can use that word, and you, regardless of your history and experience, can accept it?

      I can only offer what I have, so here goes. Elden Ring is a work which has a goal, an intended form, and it is my statement that it not only achieves that form, but that it does so, so completely and so well that it deserves recognition outside of its medium. That for something to be a "masterpiece", it must be understood as having been so successful that those who do not directly access it, can understand and accept such a status. To what end ultimately isn't really my point; you decide on that. It makes no difference to me, because at the end of the day I can just go play the game and enjoy it regardless what anyone thinks/believes about it (here's my ng+ build if you wanna see).

      That's a different statement from simply saying the game is good, that it is fun to play, that it does specific things well, that it avoids certain problems and/or that it sold well. None of those things are really part of the analysis here, because my goal in writing this is to deliver justification for calling this game a kind of "great work". A work which can stand alongside other works, other things recognized outside their medium for being exceptionally well crafted and capable of delivering exactly what they intended to deliver. It's this quality, these aspects, which make for a masterpiece, is the underlying assumption of my piece here.

      So, to be more practical, what does this game do, that other popular and successful games do not? What about Elden Ring merits such an elevated status? This is what I hope to deliver here. To do that, I think an analysis needs to tackle not just the qualities of the game itself, but the medium it belongs to, and the relationship between that medium and broader ideas of what constitutes art.

      I: Art and a Video Game

      Going back as far as I can remember, there have been debates on the artistic merits of video games. Though games began as a sort of commercial plaything, a toy, it was clear as more people made them that potential existed for something more. That, with enough effort, enough detail, enough attention and success, a video game could be something similar to other forms of art, like books, movies, paintings, music, and so on. It is because of its history as a commercial product that this discussion often gets very muddy. For the sake of keeping this piece on track, we're going to define how we're looking at it.

      Video games can be art. They have the necessary ingredients. Though they exist as combinations of other forms, various media, and though they exist as works which demand multiple individuals contribute (in most instances, at least), they possess the qualities that make artistic works what they are. I mean this in the broadest way. Art, broadly, is expression, it's a thing a person made. We can very quickly end up in very different discussions if we get more precise than that, and again I'd like to keep my piece on track here. If a person makes a thing, that thing can be art. It depends on some further details, whether it counts, but this is the foundation. Video games have that foundation.

      Not only do they have that foundation, but because of how a video game is constructed, it has the potential to exist as both, a singular work of art and as a multitude, simultaneously. The music of a game can stand on its own, as its own artistic expression, its own work. So too, can visual elements, voice work/acting, modeling and animation, so on and so forth. Where video games become a unique medium, in my view, is when all of these pieces are working in tandem: They each stand on their own, like columns which support a structure, and inside that structure is where the Art of the Game lives. With other media, it is as though they are houses unto themselves. The video game has the potential to be to the house, a neighborhood - an array of houses, each beautiful and luxurious, which come together into a neighborhood that is unto itself a beautiful thing.

      It's the beauty we're after, in my opinion. Look for the beauty and we find the meaning, and Elden Ring is a beautiful work. Because this particular work is a video game, it means this is a double edged sword - we can miss a forest for the trees, and we can get stuck on the beauty of one aspect not realizing how it contributes to a larger, more complex beauty.

      II: What is beauty, and what makes a video game beautiful?

      What makes something beautiful, from this viewpoint? What does it mean to say, "this is beautiful", and further what does it mean to call a video game "beautiful"? Why is beauty being used as a measure, and not something else?

      Let's see.

      "Beauty", for the sake of this piece, is the extent to which something exists as the object of intention. It is not appeal, on its own. What makes something "beautiful", is how close it comes to being what was envisioned by the creator, how successfully it exists in the minds of others as the thing the artist meant for them to have, as best as can be understood. What defines a "masterpiece", in this view, is when the alignment is so strong, that even when individuals cannot access the work directly, they still receive some of what was intended. The work "stands alone", in that one can experience it, know nothing more about it, and come out of that experience with an understanding that aligns with what the artist intended to convey.

      Video games, as a medium, make this type of analysis both easy and difficult. Video games are meant to be played, they are experiences. So, it's easier to see when an experience is what was intended - you press the button, it does what it's supposed to do, gun goes boom, there's a speck of beauty in that. Where it gets more fraught, is in trying to consider the extent - did the gun go boom the way the guy who made the model thought it should? Was my time pressing the button understood as more than simply pressing a button, as more than "gun went boom"? So on and so forth. We'll come back to this with Elden Ring, but for now just sit with that.

      Why measure in this way? Let's return to the metaphor, of a neighborhood. The neighborhood is a distinct idea, something independent of the individual houses of which it is composed. In order to evaluate the neighborhood, we need something more than what we use to evaluate the houses. The attempt in this piece, is to establish such a tool, a form of analysis which allows us to consider the whole alongside its constituent parts, because we are dealing with a medium with many interconnected, constituent parts. We need a means to understand and evaluate the whole, and I've chosen the word "beauty" to represent this, defined it as I have so that the fullness of my statement, "Elden Ring is a masterpiece", can be understood.

      I chose "beauty", because so much of the discussion of the medium gets lost in those constituent parts, and in defining aspects in which those constituent parts intersect with preference. I wanted a more positive word, one which predisposes toward seeing things for what they do, not what they aren't. The point here, my point, is to render an image of the whole so that you can decide too, whether it earns the place I think it does. Perhaps too, along with that, it will mean understanding other works a bit differently - I am a philosophical guy, after all, I gotta try to bend and contort some concepts now and then to stay on top of it, keep my knives sharp. And for those of you who already hold this game in high regard, perhaps with this you can bring that feeling of awe and wonder to its maximum, because hey that's a pretty cool experience to have, yeah? Take what you can get.

      III: Why Elden Ring?

      So after saying all of this about what a game is, what art can be, what beauty is and how it applies to a game, how does all of this come together in Elden Ring? What about Elden Ring merits such a detailed and strong set of statements?

      There are multiple factors I think are worthy of consideration.

      First, that the game exists as the end of an iterative process. Unlike some other forms of media, in video games we bear witness often to "rough drafts" and "second attempts" directly, the parts of the creation of art which usually go unseen. It is partly because of this aspect we see franchises change and become different; their rough draft merited a response, and so the next iteration is made to accommodate that response. It matters, crucially so, how this happens, and Fromsoft created conditions which meant they could take a singular vision to the point of becoming a masterpiece.

      Elden Ring did not begin when Fromsoft decided to make it. It began when Hidetaka Miyazaki lucked himself into a project that was on its last legs, and just made the thing he wanted to play. That project, whatever it was called then, got infused with a vision, a distinct desire, and so took on an aspect inherent to any great work: Vision. It became the object of a single person's mind, the clay they molded rather than that which comes together as the result of a mix of various incentives and pressures. It became "Demons Souls". Those incentives and pressures always exist, but what makes Elden Ring distinct and what elevates it to the level of becoming a "masterpiece", is the existence of that singular vision within that mix. What that means of the man, I am not here to say, but I will share briefly this one time - damn, dude, wow.

      Second, along with this vision, there was a structure which allowed this iterative process to happen relatively undisturbed. Fromsoft is not like every other company. They have kept their people, their teams, and allowed them the time and space to take their ideas further. This quality is important to the iterative process - it means teams can do what an individual does on their own. They can fail and try again, putting into the next iteration the knowledge and experience of the first. Video games are often not the product of a single individual, and even when a singular vision exists, the near infinite variation inherent to having teams of people means, if you don't keep teams together, the games will change, the works will take on new characteristics. There's a whole world of reasons why these conditions don't come about in the first place, which Fromsoft successfully avoided.

      Fromsoft created the conditions for a singular vision to take root and for teams of people to continuously attempt to cultivate and realize it. They had done it before, with Armored Core and Kings Field, so not only did the conditions happen, the company had experience with it, understood the process. So when Miyazaki made his play and was allowed to express his singular vision, there was a structure in waiting, a group ready to carry it as far as it could go. That was the history. From Demons Souls, came Dark Souls, which became three games. From these came Bloodborne, and Sekiro, iterations in new directions which allowed for more attempts at understanding and changing every aspect to better align with the singular vision as well as integrate aspects of others' visions. At the same time, they grew, added on, took on more talent and allowed their talent to be transferred, for more to understand and work together.

      Third, they succeeded. Each game sold better than the last, which meant the next iteration could be more, could grow in complexity and detail, until eventually we get to Elden Ring, where it all culminated.

      Taken together, these conditions mean a kind of situation that cannot be easily emulated. Try as they might, there is no "soulslike" which benefits from these conditions, from the history in the way Elden Ring did. Part of what defines the masterpiece is that it is unique; this is how that happened, part of why Elden Ring does that. One can hope others in the world see and understand, follow a similar path, but there will never be another "Fromsoft of the 2010's" plugging away at their idea of an action roleplaying game. There will never be another Elden Ring, which is part of what makes it the masterpiece.

      IV: What even *is* Elden Ring?

      Now that we've got our analytical tools in our belt, and understand how we got here, let's look at the thing and understand it.

      There's of course a shallow way of answering the question. Elden Ring is a fantasy action roleplaying game. That's the genre it fits into. But I'm intending to say quite a lot more, so we need to offer up a better description than that, something which communicates the idea that there is more in this than what the genre description implies. It won't be something you can slap on the back of a box, and we're not trying to persuade for sales, so we need a description that tries to get at what makes this game unique and important.

      Elden Ring, as a complete package, the game + DLC, is a project that took almost 20 years to happen. It is an artisanal video game, a professional video game, a video game in its fullest and most complete sense. It is the product of a history, of a time and place, of people and a company. These are true of every game superficially, but hopefully what I've done has been to lay out why this one is different.

      Ok, sure, but what is it? I've said a lot about things being what folks intended, about why matching intent with production matters, but I haven't yet laid out what Elden Ring is trying to do.

      We have the benefit of knowing. Miyazaki has been open and upfront about what it was he was trying to make, so we can take that material and use it to evaluate. Elden Ring is supposed to be akin to his own experiences, of engaging with Western fantasy as a younger Japanese person who did not completely understand the language of the books he was engaging with. We are meant to press a lot of buttons, and come out of that feeling like we were that person, exploring a strange place and overcoming the hurdles inherent to obtaining that understanding.

      So let's see how we get to this experience from pressing a lot of buttons:

      We are given a wide variety of tools, a set of mechanics which allow us to shape our character into whatever works best for us. We are given a gigantic, detailed world in which we can find those tools and a whole lot else, things we never expected, so that we can also have experiences within the experience - learning and using tools, achieving an unexpected result, having to run and go hide so we can step away and take care of something Out There in the Real World. We can come across Weird Shit and figure out what it is, usually by way of having to engage it in combat. We are given challenges and obstacles, so we can have the experience of overcoming, of discovery and achievement. Importantly, we aren't being asked to pay for any of those experiences, so we can just keep going, thing to thing, all along the way without interruption or psychological prodding.

      We are given a world in which complex characters express themselves and work toward their own ends, a sense of a place which is governed by its own laws and contains its own stories. A sense of scale and grandeur, so that within our exploration we can experience The Sublime, as one does when they travel to a fantastical place. This is exposed to us in pieces, things we must gather and assemble, as we do in our real world with real things. In doing so we come to find a world guided by the very human feelings and motivations of those complex characters, and have the opportunity to fully understand, the why of it, if we want to. We see multiple stories unfold, progress and conclude, of things like "when friends become enemies", "when abandonment consumes someone", "when someone stands up for themselves". We get to see how others experience the world alongside us, driving home that much more that sense we are exploring a different, fantastical place.

      These things are rendered for us in multiple forms: As visual elements, as animations, as music, descriptive text, and so on. We are given guides for what events mean and how they inform who we encounter, how characters' feelings mix among the others, through the interplay of these various elements, with the gameplay serving as the glue which holds it all together. That gameplay is consistent and predictable, allowing for us to have the experience of practicing and improving. And then, the game delivers challenge after challenge after challenge, so that you have the final and ultimate experience, of facing what seems impossible and doing it anyway. Like reading a book in a language you aren't sure about, it seems flat out unworkable, until you get to it and before you know it, you're done. And now we're back to beauty - it is what it was meant to be.

      In so many other words, we are transported to this other place, where things are different, and by simply engaging with it, we can become part of it. We can know it, feel for it, understand it, as we do the world in which we actually live. What makes Elden Ring the masterpiece, is that it achieves this for so very many people, all together. The extent of its beauty is such that millions of people played it, that thousands compiled its lore, that dozens got so damn good they can no-hit every boss in the game. It spawned legends, like Let Me Solo Her. It created careers, in the case of endeavors like Bonfireside Chat and VaatiVidya. With its DLC, it provided the tools to prolong the experience well past its end, created even for people well familiar with it a second shot at that first time experience, which several million more people got to do recently.

      When we consider this alongside all else, the history and development, it is a work of beauty, as laid out prior. It is exactly what it means to be, and did that so well it created new things in its wake. Just like Lord of the Rings, Three Kingdoms, The Illiad, and so on, did. It delivered both an experience unto itself and a cultural moment that I think means it stands just as tall as those other works. That it is a video game, just means that looks different. It is of its medium, just as those works were.

      Conclusion

      We will see countless imitations, derivatives and evolutions, and there will inevitably come another such work with such a wide impact and depth to itself. But for now, at the moment, I think we can look at Elden Ring and appreciate it for being one of those great things, standing alone. It will be a game which we'll see again much later in time - there's a whole generation of people who are currently experiencing the beginnings of what will one day be "I wanted to make something as great as Elden Ring". It won't just be soulslikes, action RPGs, or even just fantasy works as a broad category. People who experience something like this go in all kinds of directions with it, and I for one am beyond excited to see what comes from that. It will deliver for years to come, which is the final part of what makes it the masterpiece.

      One final note, just a thing I'd like to bring attention to, is that all along the way, Fromsoft games have been delivering on a level I have not seen much with video games at large. They're like the opposite of the industry in this respect - instead of being a skinner box/gambling machine, these deliver a "good enough" experience of overcoming adversity that they've been the catalyst for positive transformations in people. I love those stories, there's zero shame in it by my measure. Along with everything I've written, the fact that happens with consistency is something really very special that deserves cultivating, in my opinion, and further emphasizes just how much has been given to us. There is so much that can be done with that if folks can bring things together in the right ways, deliver on the right kinds of experiences.

      I hope that was enjoyable. I appreciate you reading it. As I wrote at the top, the piece is focused but the discussion doesn't need to be so constrained. I'm primarily interested in craft and experiences, what folks think about the points or if they have something similar to say about something else. Criticism is welcome, as always. If you have the co-op mod you've just met a prospective party member, too. I'm pretty good at it. Happy Sunday!

      30 votes
    25. Formula 1 British Grand Prix 2024 - Results

      What a race -- Silverstone delivers, again! Due to the bouts of rain, it was definitely a race centered around tire and pit stategy. Friends and I were constantly analyzing the tires changes....

      What a race -- Silverstone delivers, again!

      Due to the bouts of rain, it was definitely a race centered around tire and pit stategy. Friends and I were constantly analyzing the tires changes.

      Congrats to Lewis Hamilton for P1! 9th victory at Silverstone, and first win in like 2.5yrs. He's not "my" driver, but it's hard to not be happy for him for him! I thought McLaren was going to get the 1-2, but McLaren strategy shit the bed, hard. Just goes to show that speed isn't always everything (unless the team is Mercedes pre-2021).

      Checo did not get his amazing performance, which was expected starting from the pitlane, but I imagine he was still valuable by providing data to the team for Max. So that's something. Though I was a little perplexed with Ferrari and Leclerc. At one point Leclerc was right next to Sainz in the Top 10. Then Leclerc pitted too early and never recovered. Maybe just poor strategy. As usual.

      Anyway, triple header is over -- Two weeks til Hungary.

      Off-topic, but there's an IndyCar race today as well. First showing of their new hybrid engines.

      Also, thank you to @EmperorPenguin for posting the Austrian post-race discussion last week.

      Next race:

      Hungarian Grand Prix
      Hungaroring
      Sunday, July 21

      Provisional Race Results -- SPOILER
      POS NO DRIVER CAR LAPS TIME/RETIRED PTS
      1 44 Lewis Hamilton MERCEDES 52 1:22:27.059 25
      2 1 Max Verstappen RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 52 +1.465s 18
      3 4 Lando Norris MCLAREN MERCEDES 52 +7.547s 15
      4 81 Oscar Piastri MCLAREN MERCEDES 52 +12.429s 12
      5 55 Carlos Sainz FERRARI 52 +47.318s 11
      6 27 Nico Hulkenberg HAAS FERRARI 52 +55.722s 8
      7 18 Lance Stroll ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 52 +56.569s 6
      8 14 Fernando Alonso ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 52 +63.577s 4
      9 23 Alexander Albon WILLIAMS MERCEDES 52 +68.387s 2
      10 22 Yuki Tsunoda RB HONDA RBPT 52 +79.303s 1
      11 2 Logan Sargeant WILLIAMS MERCEDES 52 +88.960s 0
      12 20 Kevin Magnussen HAAS FERRARI 52 +90.153s 0
      13 3 Daniel Ricciardo RB HONDA RBPT 51 +1 lap 0
      14 16 Charles Leclerc FERRARI 51 +1 lap 0
      15 77 Valtteri Bottas KICK SAUBER FERRARI 51 +1 lap 0
      16 31 Esteban Ocon ALPINE RENAULT 50 +2 laps 0
      17 11 Sergio Perez RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 50 +2 laps 0
      18 24 Zhou Guanyu KICK SAUBER FERRARI 50 +2 laps 0
      NC 63 George Russell MERCEDES 33 DNF 0
      NC 10 Pierre Gasly ALPINE RENAULT 0 DNF 0

      Fastest Lap: Carlos Sainz

      Source: F1.com

      Since we're halfway through the season -- though still not at the summer break -- I'll post the WCC and WDC as well.

      World Drivers Championship Standings -- SPOILER
      POS DRIVER NATIONALITY CAR PTS
      1 Max Verstappen NED RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 255
      2 Lando Norris GBR MCLAREN MERCEDES 171
      3 Charles Leclerc MON FERRARI 150
      4 Carlos Sainz ESP FERRARI 146
      5 Oscar Piastri AUS MCLAREN MERCEDES 124
      6 Sergio Perez MEX RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 118
      7 George Russell GBR MERCEDES 111
      8 Lewis Hamilton GBR MERCEDES 110
      9 Fernando Alonso ESP ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 45
      10 Lance Stroll CAN ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 23
      11 Nico Hulkenberg GER HAAS FERRARI 22
      12 Yuki Tsunoda JPN RB HONDA RBPT 20
      13 Daniel Ricciardo AUS RB HONDA RBPT 11
      14 Oliver Bearman GBR FERRARI 6
      15 Pierre Gasly FRA ALPINE RENAULT 6
      16 Kevin Magnussen DEN HAAS FERRARI 5
      17 Alexander Albon THA WILLIAMS MERCEDES 4
      18 Esteban Ocon FRA ALPINE RENAULT 3
      19 Zhou Guanyu CHN KICK SAUBER FERRARI 0
      20 Logan Sargeant USA WILLIAMS MERCEDES 0
      21 Valtteri Bottas FIN KICK SAUBER FERRARI 0

      Source: F1.com

      World Constructors Championship Standings -- SPOILER
      POS TEAM PTS
      1 RED BULL RACING HONDA RBPT 373
      2 FERRARI 302
      3 MCLAREN MERCEDES 295
      4 MERCEDES 221
      5 ASTON MARTIN ARAMCO MERCEDES 68
      6 RB HONDA RBPT 31
      7 HAAS FERRARI 27
      8 ALPINE RENAULT 9
      9 WILLIAMS MERCEDES 4
      10 KICK SAUBER FERRARI 0

      Source: F1.com

      24 votes
    26. Can I have some advice on the neural net I've been working on?

      Apologies if this isn't an appropriate place to post this. Inspired by a paper I found a while back (https://publications.lib.chalmers.se/records/fulltext/215545/local_215545.pdf), I tried my hand...

      Apologies if this isn't an appropriate place to post this.

      Inspired by a paper I found a while back (https://publications.lib.chalmers.se/records/fulltext/215545/local_215545.pdf), I tried my hand at implementing a program (in C#) to create ASCII art from an image. It works pretty well, but like they observed in the paper, it's pretty slow to compare every tile to 90-some glyphs. In the paper, they make a decision tree to replicate this process at a faster speed.

      Recently, I revisited this. I thought I'd try making a neural net, since I found the idea interesting. I've watched some videos on neural nets, and refreshed myself on my linear algebra, and I think I've gotten pretty close. That said, I feel like there's something I'm missing (especially given the fact that the loss isn't really decreasing). I think my problem is specifically during backpropagation.

      Here is a link to the TrainAsync method in GitHub: https://github.com/bendstein/ImageToASCII/blob/1c2e2260f5d4cfb45443fac8737566141f5eff6e/LibI2A/Converter/NNConverter.cs#L164C59-L164C69. The forward and backward propagation methods are below it.

      If anyone can give me any feedback or advice on what I might be missing, I'd really appreciate it.

      14 votes
    27. Please convince me to like Fallout 76, I beg you

      I picked this thing up in a Steam sale at 75% off after having avoided it like contagious illness since launch, reasoning to myself that for a cost of about £7.99 it'd still pay for itself through...

      I picked this thing up in a Steam sale at 75% off after having avoided it like contagious illness since launch, reasoning to myself that for a cost of about £7.99 it'd still pay for itself through sheer amount of content.

      And content is what I got, all right. Nebulous, homogenous, thoroughly unexceptional content. My experience has been, more or less:

      • Find the three unmarked items in this room and craft them into a parcel, then deliver that to another settlement.
      • Pick up and listen to countless audio tapes made by people long-dead and never particularly captivating when they were still alive.
      • Boil some water.
      • Read through reams of discarded notes about the daily minutiae of life in Shitsville.
      • Grill some steak to go with that water.
      • Slowly feel your initial interest fade as it dawns on you that this isn't a story, this is what somebody thought constituted lore.
      • Realise that some people paid up to £59.99 to do this on launch day, while the fanfiction on AO3 is free.
      • Struggle to see the landscape, and enemies, through the film of clown vomit that is the Gamebryo engine's gasping attempts to render lighting effects and shadows that aren't pixellated.
      • Shoot at enemies who move in fits and starts, or not at all, in response to your presence.
      • Shoot at them again because the lag means you can't be sure if the first shot connected.
      • Question what you're doing with your life.
      • Christ, shoot him again, he's still dancing. - Re-level your wobbly desk leg.
      • Stare in wonderment at a game which is somehow uglier, and runs worse, than Fallout 4.
      • Appreciate a passing three-headed opossum.
      • Check out the pop-up for the overpriced store, which is the first thing you see every time you log in.

      I thought I'd at least enjoy exploring the wilderness of a new location full of fresh landmarks, enemies and particularly cryptids (none of them yet), but I think I might've already checked out in a matter of days. I just...don't care. This is the least compelling Fallout game I think I've ever played. I can't imagine how bad this must have been on launch.

      And the Camp UI is an absolutely headache-inducing abomination.

      Anyway, do you think I can still get my money's worth? Can this be saved?

      Are there...mods???

      27 votes
    28. I tried ditching my vehicle and doing the no-car thing. It was awful.

      Those urban activists who hate cars must be nuts. Today, rather than drive my not terribly fuel efficient vehicle from my relative's house back to mine, normally an easy 2 hour 20 minute drive on...

      Those urban activists who hate cars must be nuts.

      Today, rather than drive my not terribly fuel efficient vehicle from my relative's house back to mine, normally an easy 2 hour 20 minute drive on divided highway, I decided to try using alternative transport.

      I started out with a 45 minute walk to the highway bus station. Of course that meant carrying a fairly heavy back pack and being an old fart after awhile that got to be a pain. I spotted a Bird electric bike on my route so I rented it for the final leg of my walk saving considerable time but it cost me $8.99.

      I got to the station half an hour early which meant I had the pleasure of standing beside a guy who was either drunk or just unstable. He had "All My Ex's Live in Texas" playing at full volume on his phone and was singing his lungs out. Fortunately most everyone else seemed somewhat normal.

      The bus ride wasn't bad, a fairly new FLixBus with decent seats, and fortunately I didnt have to sit beside Mr. Texas. Everyone just put on their headphones or earbuds and zoned out on their phones.

      But then arriving at my city, I could either Uber, which would have cost me $35, which was as much as the two hour bus ride or take public transit. After a 10 block walk to the right stop, I found the 'express' bus to my area and then had to find somewhere to buy a ticket.

      Once onboard the ride was less than comfortable. The bus was not only incredibly loud and hot but the driver thought he was in Formula 1. He was pretty excitable, going hard then jamming on the brakes whenever he had the chance. 20 minutes on that bus was plenty, I can live without that pain.

      Then it was another 15 minute walk to my house.

      Was it fast? Definitely not. The trip took four and a half hours, almost DOUBLE the time I normally drive it in my vehicle.

      Was it comfortable? Not really, no. It ranged from the hard seat of the suspension less Bird bike, to the very uncomfortable transit bus to a respite in the FlixBus and a somewhat enjoyable walk. But compared to my own car, my own music, and my own personal space, it was definitely not even close to a definition of comfortable.

      Was it cheap? With the bus fare and the Bird e-bike it was about 2/3 of what my vehicle would've cost me in fuel but without the licensing, registration and maintenance, so maybe half the cost.

      Was it convenient? Absolutely not. What a pain trying to figure out locations, fares, tickets and worst of all, needing a bathroom before I got on the transit bus but no place to go because every shop is locked up because of the vagrants. In a vehicle I just drive to the nearest coffee shop and buy a java to use the washroom.

      Would I do it again to save money? Not a chance in hell. What an absolute pain in the ass. Slow, inconvenient, with some odd characters in my space, and not even that cheap. Never again.

      Those people who hate cars must be masochists or just love hearing country songs sung badly. Ill take my vehicle every time from now on, thank you.

      57 votes
    29. Funny, crazy and silly mods

      Just a random thought as a friend browses Nexus Mods. What are some of the funniest, craziest and wildest mods you've come across? I see plenty of talk about QoL mods and the like, but I feel like...

      Just a random thought as a friend browses Nexus Mods. What are some of the funniest, craziest and wildest mods you've come across? I see plenty of talk about QoL mods and the like, but I feel like there's a lot of fun stories to be had with forgetting you modded some enemy to look like the Cookie Monster or custom weapons that shoot fish.

      30 votes
    30. Is serviceable CGI here to stay?

      I'm here watching Furiosa which has noticeable CGI. So noticeable in fact that my partner, who doesn't give a second thought to the technicalities of movie making commented on it. Painted...

      I'm here watching Furiosa which has noticeable CGI. So noticeable in fact that my partner, who doesn't give a second thought to the technicalities of movie making commented on it. Painted backgrounds, obvious green screen and so on.

      What is also noticeable is that the movie wasn't cheap to make. It has also excellent, energetic direction, camera work and action set pieces and the character design has the same care as Mad Max Fury Road.

      The movie also has this cooky, kinda goofy tone from the get go. Stylistically the CGI doesn't really get in the way because there's a real distinct step between our reality and this crazy world on screen. It serves its purpose.

      So what's y'all's thoughts about this? I think with money and time (I guess they're the same thing) the movie could've looked a lot better and avoided the paintbrushly fogginess that comes with the green screen -- but would've that actually been worth it?

      (There's also a lot of stunts, real handcrafted care and crazy, inspired camera movement. The movie's good, you should probably consider seeing it.)

      10 votes
    31. W11 Bluetooth won't pair but can see devices. BT works w/ Linux

      tldr; W11 bluetooth doesn't work with multiple cards. It will see devices but will not pair. Same hw pairs under Linux. hey folks. I posted this to /r/techsupport on reddit and for some reason...

      tldr; W11 bluetooth doesn't work with multiple cards. It will see devices but will not pair. Same hw pairs under Linux.


      hey folks. I posted this to /r/techsupport on reddit and for some reason they say they don't support Windows 11 Enterprise... and it took them a day to tell me instead of using automod. I thought this was both funny and the dumbest thing. Anyway, here's a fun little issue I'm trying to sort out.

      Windows 11 Enterprise 22h2 (22621.3810)

      About two weeks ago (after a year of having this system) my bluetooth decided not to pair with anything. It will see devices and try to pair, but it never goes through.

      I have tried:

      • a different wireless card / bt combo (PCIE)
      • removing the wireless / bt combo and using a bt dongle
      • removing all drivers (show hidden devices etc), rebooting clean, reinstalling
      • changing the USB connection to the mobo for the PCIE card
      • live boot of latest Ubuntu LTS -- successfully paired DS4 controller and Sony Headphones

      The event logs for Bluetooth Policy are all positive (e.g. A connection to a remote device 0xA4538553B7FD was successfully established) -- but nothing is paired.

      This happened on a day when I added two HDDs to the box and ran updates etc. I also tried everything above without the drives installed without any luck.

      Any ideas?

      notes:

      • I just finished with a W11 windows-to-go install off a super slow USB and I wasn't able to pair headphones or the DS4, but I did pair some sony TW earbuds. I'm sensing a fresh install in my future.
      12 votes
    32. Russia-Ukraine war megathread - June 2024 news updates

      Please also see @KapteinB's recent post about Ukraine says missile strike destroyed kamikaze drones and Iranian instructors. I wanted to touch on a few pieces of news and media that people might...

      Please also see @KapteinB's recent post about Ukraine says missile strike destroyed kamikaze drones and Iranian instructors.

      I wanted to touch on a few pieces of news and media that people might not have seen this month.

      Yesterday, Pyongyang Says It Will Send Troops to Ukraine Within a Month - A military engineering unit will be sent to the Donetsk region to support Russian forces. While there are many foreigners who have intentionally and unintentionally signed up in a combat capacity that supports Russia, North Korea is taking a somewhat different stance here by overtly doing the thing that the west has been reluctant to admit doing themselves (sending advisors and other personnel to front-line adjacent regions).

      There is a film coming out called 'Real' which is 90 minutes of unedited front-line footage accidentally recorded by a film-maker. Hopefully this doesn't just cater to the raw "combat footage" people, but also people who are into biopics/documentaries/war journalism/etc.

      Sentsov, who spent several years as a political prisoner in Russia and is now fighting in the Ukrainian army, found the 90 minutes of shaky footage six months after the battle. He was going through old files on his GoPro camera and realised it had been switched on that day. ... I realised I had a very interesting imprint of that battle and of war how it truly is – ugly, incomprehensible, twisted and stupid."

      Outgoing Dutch prime minister Mark Rutte will be the next head of NATO. The Dutch have been very strong supporters of Ukraine, so this bodes well for further support from a leadership role and might also benefit the relationship between Baltic states and northern Europe. Dutch F-16s and ammunition, along with donations from Belgium and Norway, should be arriving in Ukraine this summer for real this time. They've already made numerous deliveries of F-16s to Romania and other places where Ukrainian pilots are being trained. At the same time, the EU has opened accession talks to Ukraine and Moldova, which may allow for more support to be extended to the countries.

      Last month, Russia replaced Shoigu as Defense Minister, which I thought had a Tildes discussion somewhere. Last week Putin sacked deputy defense ministers Nikolai Pankov, Ruslan Tsalikov, Tatiana Shevtsova and Pavel Popov. He then appointed replacement deputy defense ministers, including one relative.

      Also of note, Ukraine is confirming that last month they destroyed the last Russian Kalibr missile carrier (ship) using Crimea as its port, with the rest having been removed from Crimea. But this was not the last ship, nor necessarily the last missile carrier, in the Black Sea as a whole. It does suggest that Russia's ability to launch deep missile attacks has been pushed back further, and right at a time when Ukraine has been able to position several MLRS within range of Crimea to hit the targets mentioned by KapteinB's post at the very top of this page.

      Other Recent Headlines:

      Ukraine signs security pacts with EU, Lithuania and Estonia - 27 June.

      In his home near Ukraine's front line with Russia, Yurii makes a stand - A feature article/photo essay.

      90 Russian prisoners returned in swap with Ukraine - 26 June.

      US and Russian defence chiefs speak amid recent rise in tensions (over Ukraine)

      Zelenskiy replaces commander leading war on Russia in eastern Ukraine

      ‘This country gave me a lot’: the Vietnamese people staying in Ukraine - I found this to be very interesting. These folks really have a lot of pride in their homeland/adopted homeland to fight for it. It's quite heartwarming in that way.

      Key global powers fail to sign up to Ukraine peace summit communique - Spoiler, it's basically BRICS countries again.

      Over the past couple of weeks Brandon Mitchell has posted a few videos about their crowd-funded offensive drones in the Kupyansk Front direction. I really appreciate what he's been doing in every capacity that he's supported efforts out there (initially in a non-combat role, etc.).

      33 votes
    33. Recommendation for a Goodreads for video games?

      Over the past year or two I've been writing "reviews" (mostly a short paragraph or two) on Goodreads for books I've read, and I enjoy looking back on what I've read and what I thought about it. So...

      Over the past year or two I've been writing "reviews" (mostly a short paragraph or two) on Goodreads for books I've read, and I enjoy looking back on what I've read and what I thought about it. So I would like to do the same for the games I played, and also better organize my backlog so I know what's next to play. So I've been looking for a Goodreads-like for video games and found some alternatives, but I thought I'd check here if anyone has any recommendations.

      What I'm looking for is:

      • Being able to rate and review games played
      • Some way to create lists (much like Goodreads "to read" shelf and the like)

      So it's not a large wish list really. After a short search I've found a few sites that seem to fulfill those requirements and they look fairly equal, so I can't really decide which one to commit to (if any):

      Since 95% of all games I play are on Steam, just using what's already there could work as well I guess. Collections could be used for backlog management, and the Steam reviews handle rating and review. But for some reason I'm apprehensive about rating games on Steam, probably because it feels very public and I'm doing this only for myself.

      Another approach is to use an excel sheet (or similar) to keep track of everything, but it feels... Boring, I suppose? But owning your own data is always nice I suppose!

      Do the people here on Tildes have any experience using any of the methods above and can recommend one? Or do you do something completely different than what I've listed here that's working well for you?

      19 votes
    34. I’m falling in love with the Revelation Space universe

      I want to ramble about Alastair Reynolds' Revelation Space series/universe. I will avoid spoilers. So far, I have read: "The Prefect" 2007 "Revelation Space" 2000 "Chasm City" 2001 "The Great Wall...

      I want to ramble about Alastair Reynolds' Revelation Space series/universe. I will avoid spoilers.

      So far, I have read:

      "The Prefect" 2007
      "Revelation Space" 2000
      "Chasm City" 2001
      "The Great Wall of Mars" (Novella) 2000
      "Glacial" (Novella) 2001 (I haven't finished this yet.)

      I’m an occasional listener to “The Sword and Laser,” a book club/podcast where they read a book each month and discuss it, alternating between sci-fi and fantasy. I usually don't read the books, just enjoy the conversations, but if the early discussions sound interesting, I will read it before I get to the spoilery episodes.

      One such case was when they read ‘The Prefect’ in 2021. I had heard of Alastair Reynolds and Revelation Space and had considered reading him before. If I remember correctly, they said it was a good way to dip your toe in the universe with a story that takes place in it but isn't really connected to the main series, so it doesn't spoil much.

      I liked ‘The Prefect’ but didn't love it. It was set in this huge, complicated universe but had this small noir detective-type character we were following. It felt like seeing a narrow flashlight beam, aiming into an opaque mist of stuff that I couldn't quite make out.
      I liked many of the little pieces floating around the universe, but I didn't quite trust that it was real and would have internal consistency.

      I saw “Pushing Ice” (an Alastair Reynolds book that is unrelated to Revelation Space) recommended somewhere late last year and decided to try it. I loved it, even though the ending left so much unanswered that it was disappointing. I can see how it may make sense to do that for some stories. Still, I have this distrust of the author's intent sometimes. If it feels like they are including mysterious background info without any thought of how it all connects, it bothers me. Even if the story or characters are good, it is distracting. I'm afraid of getting a "Lost" or "Game of Thrones" type ending where I don't feel like all the threads paid off or had any real purpose. To be clear, "Pushing Ice" was nothing like those endings. I feel like it earned its story. It just didn't fill in the universe as much as I wanted. I still didn't fully trust Reynolds as an author.

      A few months ago, I decided to try the first proper book in the series, “Revelation Space”. I was surprised to see that I already owned it on Kindle. The first chapter was very familiar. I had bought it in 2013! As I read, I remembered I had gotten bored back then and left the book after a chapter or 2 to read something else. The beginning was a little boring. Again, it's set in a world I don't know and I'm not sure if I care about. In this book though, the perspective changes often. Multiple points of view seem to help me triangulate the world. It takes half the book, but I eventually fully buy-in, and then the world seems incredibly full. References to unknown factions, historical events, religions, movements, etc. They all feel like real plausible things with their own potential histories. Instead of the misty, non-tangible fluff, they seemed like when I read "The Prefect" or the first part of this book.

      I finished “Revelation Space” completely satisfied and excited to dive into the series. I did a little research and found there are a lot of options for reading order. At this point I’m fairly certain I want to read every book in the series, so I am not too concerned with reading order, I just want to find a fun way to keep the things fresh as I explore it. I decided to read “Chasm City” next as it seems like the next thing in terms of publication date.

      "Chasm City" was great! It followed the same pattern for me, with the beginning and the main character being the most boring parts of the book. But by the end, I felt like I knew the universe better and saw a bunch of interesting, fun stuff along the way.

      I then read “The Great Wall” a quick novella that was awesome! It tells an origin story for something that has been mentioned but left ambiguous in all the other books. So satisfying.

      I started reading another novella, “Glacial” today. So far, I'm really curious, but not sure what it's about.

      The Great Wall reminded me of a book I read probably twenty years ago, “Hellstroms Hive” by Frank Herbert. I can't remember the details, and I think I may reread it now to take a break and make sure I won't burn out on Revelation Space. After that, I think I’ll jump right back in with “Redemption Ark” the next main novel in the series, which I believe follows the story of the novella I'm reading now.

      Unless someone else has a better suggestion for what to read next in the revelation space universe? I've already bought the “Galactic North” collection to read those two novellas. But Im not sure if I should read any of the others until after I read further in the main novel series.

      Any other opinions on revelation space?

      18 votes
    35. I'm looking for a suggestion on how best to organize my ideas for my weekly RPG

      I implore anyone who can think of a better way to phrase the title, please suggest it. Essentially, I use a self-hosted MediaWiki which is where I write everything, but when I just have an 'idea',...

      I implore anyone who can think of a better way to phrase the title, please suggest it.

      Essentially, I use a self-hosted MediaWiki which is where I write everything, but when I just have an 'idea', I have a private Discord channel that I submit the information to. It can be a picture, or a character idea, or an idea for a scene or a shop or whatever-- I just have a channel where I dump all of my ideas, and then when I have time, I go back through them, iterate, add them to my wiki (making them 'canon'), and then deleting the messages.

      I would really like something else to do this, because Discord is obviously not meant for this. Unfortunately, the caveat is that it needs to be useable on mobile, because I'd say 80%+ of my ideas like this happen when I'm not at my computer.

      My first thought was to set up and self-host a ticketing system-- something like Znuny, but outside of using Zendesk for work, I don't really know that much about them, and it feels like it might be overkill (on top of not working on mobile, I don't think). It has the benefit of being able to immediately have the data organized, so I can double-check to make sure I'm not repeating character names, or ideas, or anything like that.

      So, with that in mind, what all are my options?

      12 votes
    36. Experiences using a local voice assistant with LLM with HomeAssistant?

      Has anyone out there hooked HomeAssistant up to a local LLM? I'm very tempted: Alexa integrations fail often. HomeAssistant integrations tend to be rock solid. Alexa is rule/pattern matching...

      Has anyone out there hooked HomeAssistant up to a local LLM? I'm very tempted:

      • Alexa integrations fail often. HomeAssistant integrations tend to be rock solid.
      • Alexa is rule/pattern matching based. LLMs can understand natural language fairly well. The "magical incantations" required by Alexa are awkward.

      Other than the software, the device side seems challenging. There are $50 fully-baked POP devices. I'm less sure on the DIY front.

      Also, I desperately want my house to speak to me in the voice of the NCC-1701D computer. I've read enough now to know this should be achievable with a modicum of effort via OSS voice cloning tools or training a new model (same difference except "voice cloning" seems to often refer to doing this without training a whole new model?).

      Thoughts? Experiences?

      I've seen several pages that have led me to conclude this is tenable:

      https://github.com/myshell-ai/OpenVoice

      https://github.com/domesticatedviking/TextyMcSpeechy

      https://github.com/mezbaul-h/june

      https://www.home-assistant.io/voice_control/voice_remote_local_assistant/

      https://heywillow.io/hardware/#esp32-s3-box-lite

      14 votes
    37. The Steam Deck now has over 5,000 Verified games

      According to SteamDB, at the time of this posting: There are 5,006 Verified games. There are 10,240 Playable games. I thought this was a noteworthy milestone worth sharing -- The Little Linux...

      According to SteamDB, at the time of this posting:

      I thought this was a noteworthy milestone worth sharing -- The Little Linux Handheld That Could now has a definitive library of >15,000 games!

      (The actual library size is significantly larger when you consider how many games run on it that don't yet have a rating, and even that's saying nothing of non-Steam games and things like ROMs as well).

      69 votes
    38. Science fiction or fantasy recommendations for children

      My apologies if there is already a thread about this. I did try searching and didn't turn anything up. My daughter (9) is just about to finish the Harry Potter series. She saw Kim Stanley...

      My apologies if there is already a thread about this. I did try searching and didn't turn anything up.

      My daughter (9) is just about to finish the Harry Potter series. She saw Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars on the bookshelf and asked to read it next. It's been years since I read it, but I remember it being pretty complex and political. Much as I would enjoy discussing it with her, I think it might be a little bit ambitious for her first SF.

      She read a Wrinkle in Time in school and has already listened to the Narnia books on audiobook.

      I was thinking back to my own childhood reading, which was very eclectic because I was limited by what I could get at home or in my small town libraries. I remember Clarke, Asimov, Pohl, L'Engle, but also a healthy dose of Star Trek and Star Wars novels, and even the Death lands novels. It was mostly hard SF. I didn't really read much fantasy until grad school.

      I feel like the landscape is pretty different now, with a lot more YA content in general and especially in the Fantasy/SF world. There are things with better representations and diversity as well. I spent an hour in the children's fiction section of our library, but I feel like it's difficult to separate the wheat from the chaff.

      So Tilderinos, that are your recommendations or thoughts? I'm also interested in meta resources like book lists or reviewers that have been helpful to you. Much as I would like to read everything she reads, she has much more bandwidth than I do.

      As I was writing this, my daughter came by and suggested I list some of her interests, which are: magic, dragons, wizards and witches, and being tired of having all happy endings. So while I'm not necessarily tied to SF and Fantasy only, that does seem like it will be the thin end of the wedge.

      Edit:
      I have compiled the recommendations from this thread into a spreadsheet listing each book or series with a short synopsis and other notes. I've also included the names of the books for most series. My apologies if I missed any.

      44 votes
    39. Update #2 - "Reopening", Advertising, and so on

      I picked ~misc and don't really have an idea of what tags would be appropriate. If there's stuff I can include in future posts like this I'll be glad to make sure they're there, just let me know....

      I picked ~misc and don't really have an idea of what tags would be appropriate. If there's stuff I can include in future posts like this I'll be glad to make sure they're there, just let me know. There probably won't be one for a long while but I'll remember. Technically I am advertising myself a bit, but I think I've framed it well enough that ya'll will see it's not really the point of the post. I'll never be bothering ya'll with offers and ads and shit.

      This is a continuation from a post I made a while back about how it's going with the endeavor I've set in front of myself. In some ways, things proceed as I'd hoped, while in others there's been need for flexibility/adjustment. I wanted to give an update because a few big steps happened this past week which hopefully mean moving into a busier phase of the whole thing, and to add to the corpus, create the proof of what this all was as it begins if that makes sense.

      The biggest thing has been an article published in our local paper. Two, actually, which were combined together into a front page spread I did not expect. Yes, there's a photo of us and our contact info in there, and yes, you're welcome to reach us if you've an idea for something you'd like to do. You'll be talking to me, and I'll be happy to go over details and land on pricing that actually does work for both of us. Primarily we are offering the space, with some ability to accommodate large groups and connections with folks who can provide stuff. It depends on what you want, how things will be priced. The less you need us to do, the less we need to charge. We don't want to regularly be a place where folks stay overnight, but I can probably swing that from time to time for someone coming from far away. If you aim to do something in the near term, do be aware it is hot as shit down here and very humid. The house is a-ok staying cool, but you'll want to be prepared for Mississippi in the summer. I have a dog too, so if you've got allergies you'll need to prep accordingly. She's gonna be 16 this year, she's nothing but friendly to people and sleeps a lot. Pets are welcome, provided they are house-trained and well behaved.

      I am intentionally avoiding the internet on the whole for reasons I'll get into, but I do want to extend an offer to this forum in particular, as thanks for allowing me the space for expressing my thoughts as they took shape. I'm aware the site is public facing - what I'm going to share here is public already. I have to bite the bullet on sacrificing some anonymity and just try to control how that anonymity goes away, is how I've come to see it. You won't find me on social media, and what exists for the house/my grandmother is wildly out of date/largely inaccessible - it's gonna stay that way if all remains up to me, so this is just about the only way for someone outside of Brookhaven to know of us at this time. I'd like for at least a few people to know what we were up to, in a form that serves as proof of my intent from its actual beginnings. While the plan took shape before I ever wrote about it, it was in writing about it that I was able to make it clear to myself, what I aim to be doing, so I feel like it's part of completing things to share this stuff here.

      The paper is very much a local thing, they got a few details wrong and you'll probably pick out how the quotes don't quite sound like me if you've read a lot of what I've posted. It's fine, the details in need of correction aren't critical. There isn't a lot in there about the more high-minded stuff I like to write about, because I'm not there yet. For now, it's simply building a business out of something, I have to make the something from which that business will spring. I'll think more about where it goes when I've got it moving. The article was free, which was pretty awesome. The paper is in a slow time, and it's mostly one guy doing a lot of the writing, they were just happy to have something to include. I think he did great.

      The articles worked, too. I got calls the day the print version went out, and am expecting some followups soon to set dates and square away payment. I go walking downtown every day in the afternoon, and got some extra attention. While it's possible, while the pressure is light, I've been taking advantage by trying to advertise almost solely through word of mouth and face-to-face interactions, fully aware it will take a while for that to have an effect and that I may need to branch out fast if pressures change. Thus far, it's been the local paper, a print ad in a different paper that goes out primarily to local businesses, and a radio ad. There's a couple of reasons I've stuck to stuff like that.

      The first is that I think it will provide a good foundation for sustaining the enterprise. If it's possible to have enough business to stay around purely from what exists around me, that means I can capitalize maximally if/when we do extend advertising outside our area, and it means security if for whatever reason those means can't be utilized. I don't want to be dependent on the internet for a livelihood if I can possibly manage it. It's not so principled a position that I'd refuse to do it at any point, rather it's like a back-pocket option, something to be engaged with strategically at what I determine to be either the proper time or because the needs have grown past what I can sustain without it, if that makes sense. My aim is to be a part of this town, to be of it, so I want to keep what we're doing as local and simple as possible. I have to be ready to constrain everything and take care of my grandmother too. I won't let that priority slip and will endure whatever hardship is necessary to fulfill it. It's easier to do that the smaller things are, a bit of a balancing act.

      The second reason is much more practical and kind of silly. My grandmother's computer is the biggest security risk I think I've ever encountered in person. I refuse to introduce new online components when such a risk exists, if that makes sense, and I will endure whatever hit to efficiency/development it means until I can get it corrected. Her usage habits are minimal which is a lucky thing - she sticks to old fashioned stuff for almost everything. But, a priority of mine is that she can see and understand everything I'm doing, so I need this machine to be in a better state before I can take some of the steps with that. The challenge of it isn't technical at all, I could get the thing in good working order in a day, probably.

      To give you an idea of what's difficult here, imagine for a moment you just ignored the internet as a whole since it began. You used it, you know how to do some stuff on it, but only by way of memorizing actions, the steps necessary to do a thing you wanted, a setup someone made for you. You never really engaged with what the stuff you use is designed for, you didn't follow how any of it developed, you're (blissfully, I'd say) unaware of pretty much that whole end of things. It's very difficult to explain the danger of something like an AI phishing scam, to someone who for all intents and purposes, never learned what phishing is, and further doesn't tend to believe in the shittiness of other people. That last part is one of the reasons I love my grandmother as much as I do, but it does make this task harder, and delays further action on my part.

      I've gotten the machine to as secure a state as I can, and have gotten the data backed up, so hopefully movement really gets going on this and I can feel better about spreading out our net, so to speak. I think what frustrates me about it is having been there across years of time - a lot of why this machine is the way it is, is because other people took it upon themselves to "fix it" and almost none of them knew what the hell they were doing. They didn't explain anything to my grandmother either. Their interactions mean misunderstandings on my grandmother's part, and the lack of a foundation of knowledge means it's starting from zero in a way I have never actually encountered before doing this kind of work. I've gotten close, seen some pretty absurd things, but the lack here is just of a different kind, more complex than it seems. I've been writing about it separately/on my own because I think the experience stands as a sort of ultimate test of a lot of the stuff I did before I got here.

      There is also health to think about. The priority, for now, is to set things up in a way which is compatible with what my grandmother can do. I'm trying to set up situations that let her do the things that make her happiest, and do all of the nitty-gritty shitty stuff myself. That means house maintenance, yard work, grocery shopping, cooking, arranging for stuff like an electrician when something breaks, learning how to do some of the fixing myself. I've only ever rented. I've never been in a position to maintain a house before, and as I'm sure plenty of you know far better than me, that's a good bit to learn all on its own. Especially with a home as old and complicated as this one with an owner who hasn't done a lot of that herself. Can't exactly tell me what needs doing when someone else was being paid to come do it for years. I feel good about it though, I like to learn and I like to fix things, and there's lots of opportunity. I've been able to eliminate a lot of costs and reduce regular expenses by taking on a lot of what others were doing and applying effective fixes to longstanding issues. It's very fulfilling, like getting to do the type of work I always hit a wall with in all my other workplaces, improve and optimize. That it's for my family brings together a lot of what matters the most to me, keeps me constantly motivated.

      The town is nice too. It's been a few months so I've gotten more acclimated, the slower pace of things and friendlier atmosphere really does a lot for me. Here are a bunch of images of downtown I took on some of my walks. Because of the slower pace, I can be measured, precise, take the proper time to consider things and work out problems without feeling like I'm in some inner state of siege/under the gun all the time. At first I missed a lot of what was available to me elsewhere, but as time went on I came to realize a lot of that just didn't matter as much as I thought it did. As much as I love a good Indian restaurant and a computer store, not having them is not the detriment my mind used to pretend it was. Along with that has come an explosion of creativity, I've done a ridiculous amount of writing and reading, and am slowly getting myself up to snuff drawing things. The house exists on an art school campus, and from what I've gathered reading local magazines the presence of that school has done a ton to really give this place character and variety. My hope is to really lean into that, support it and see if we can have our space be a place for folks to work their creativity. Connections are taking shape and that's made me real happy to see. I cannot tell you how heartwarming it is, for example, to talk about this stuff with the guy who does a radio show and then hear him on the radio a day later saying "this place is really good you should go see it!" Folks are really beginning to grasp my aims when it comes to the scale and type of stuff we want to do, and I haven't really encountered much suspicion/doubt/etc. Folks tend to just trust the simple motives. I can't ask for more than that, the sense of gratitude I wake up with every day is beyond my ability to capture here.

      So, there you go. Another step taken, one more further toward whatever comes, as precisely as I can manage to get to the goals. I wanted to post the followup because I said I'd do that and as part of the effort itself, share the vision and the way it plays out in the hope others spot what my eyes miss, and/or that they might take something useful for themselves from it. I'd love to read it if you have thoughts, opinions, advice, experience. Or if you just want to talk about the high minded stuff, I do like doing that. Helps me stay consistent. Anyway, i've said plenty, so off I go to walk around downtown again. I've got that phone on me all the time, call/text whenever (text if it's after 5pm CST, is my only request with that). As always, I very much appreciate you taking the time and giving me your attention.

      16 votes
    40. Job search blues

      I’m a software engineer with 4 years of experience in a contract position that ends in a few months, with no renewal or conversion. Previously I was laid off in December 2022 and didn’t find work...

      I’m a software engineer with 4 years of experience in a contract position that ends in a few months, with no renewal or conversion. Previously I was laid off in December 2022 and didn’t find work until March 2023, so I’m trying to stay ahead of unemployment by applying for jobs before my contract ends.

      Since January I’ve been applying to all sorts of SWE jobs, either tailored to my experience or generalist roles I can fill. I’ve had two interviews, and they were for small on-site companies in my town. One I had to turn down an offer because their company was a nightmare, and the other went with a candidate who had more experience.

      I feel demoralized, frustrated, and anxious. Only two interviews in nearly 6 months? I thought the job search in 2023 was rough, but this is ridiculous. I’m confident in my ability to perform above expectations and I think if I could at least get more interviews I wouldn’t be searching for so long.

      I assume my resume must be the issue so I’ve rewritten it several times, getting feedback from managers and senior employees while also feeding it through ATS scanners. It’s come a long way but as of recently they all tell me it’s a great resume. They say it should at least get me an interview. And ATS scanners aren’t telling me anything is missing.

      Recently I even got an internal referral for a position through a friend of a friend, and my experience lined up nicely with the job description too. I thought this would be a sure thing, most hires come from networking rather than cold applications. Their engineering manager viewed my LinkedIn profile and I’ve since been ghosted. This experience hurt the most, because what else could they want? I feel like I’ve got a sticky note on my back that says do not hire instead of kick me!

      I can’t be alone in this experience. Is anyone else on here struggling in this job market? How long can this go on for and how bad is it going to get?

      43 votes