Hi all, our 13 yo, 50-60 pound (25 kg) and mutt dog has been with us for his entire life. A happy and socially anxious friend. A pleasure to have him around. Many times spoiled.
Since a year ago, he started with mobility issues (besides cataracts and partial progressive deafness that do not seem to bother him much). Initially was difficulties jumping on the couch and now it is serious difficulties and some times impossibility to just stand up or go up a few steps on a short stair. Sometimes he has gave up, four legs wide open, belly on floor, even not calling for help, like peacefully defeated. It has becoming more frequent that I have to carry him up and stairs.
Most week days, he stays by himself from morning to late afternoon. He does not help himself inside the house.
He does not seem to be suffering right now. I am not sure but it is not evident to me.
My question is, when would be the best time to put him down? I want to be prepared and plan this properly.
Should I wait until I see him suffering, with pain, soiled? Should I just proceed and prevent any suffering at all? Should I act when I feel uncomfortable assisting him.
Thanks for any advice or comment.

I’ve gone from a 20 year old 4Runner to a 3 year old Pacifica plug-in hybrid and it has changed many of my driving habits.

For my job I have a lot of deliveries in the neighborhoods of hilly San Francisco and I am curious about strategies I should use to increase the efficiency of battery driving and regenerative braking.

After a month of driving I can’t tell yet if I do better staying on flats or using the energy of the hills. And this thing is so damn heavy! 5000 lbs! (2200kg)

I’m finding that I touch the gas pedal far less and lean on the brake pedal far more, especially after realizing using the brakes won’t necessarily wear them down. But what techniques can I use to make sure I am regenerating instead of using the friction brakes?

Any other general advice about making this switch would also be appreciated. Thanks!

As I'm exploring the idea of hosting my data at home (with offsite backups), I would like to better understand how to test my home network for security vulnerabilities.

I have run basic Nmap scans and confirmed that there are no open ports. I've confirmed that users have access to what they need but nothing else, and that guests using the network for web access don't have any sort of access to data. All data is encrypted so someone stealing the physical hardware shouldn't have access to the contents, either. But that's about as far as I know what to do.

What else could and should I try? How do you pentest your home network?

I feel I'm ok with my understanding of how to set things up so that everything is relatively secure. But I have very little idea how to actually test the setup.

Edit: Added a sentence about encryption.

So here's my situation and what I'm trying to prepare for. My mom is currently sick (we think it's an infection), and last night she fell and threw up, scared me half to death. She says she's fine(ish) now, and we're waiting on test results. It got me thinking how she said I'll inherit her Siamese cat breeding business and it got me thinking a lot about it.

I'm wanting to divide what is currently a purely aesthetic room so the queens can have more room for their kittens who then won't get to hide under/in the couch (yes, inside the couch, because they tore holes in the fabric underneath it, apparently) whenever I try to show them to customers.

I want to divide my dining room from the entry way, where the front door leads into the living room, so the cats don't escape out the front door. Imagine a hallway (12 to 14 feet long) from the front door to the living room (and it's a double wide doorless doorway connecting it to the living room), but one wall of the hallway doesn't exist, and instead opens fully into the dining area. I haven't measured yet, but I'm estimating it's around 12 to 14 feet across, and 9 or 10 feet tall.

I'd like to use something budget friendly (ofc), like plexiglass, acrylic, resin, whatever. Something fully see through (or as see through as possible) so the customers can see them immediately. Proper glass will need a whole installation process and will add to the cost. Also, I'll want to add a door to this new "window wall" so the customers and I can walk in and out, and preferably have it be a sliding door, since I think this is the option that will be the least likely to pinch a kitten.

My dad suggested a garage screen door, with magnetic closing, made of fiber glass mesh, but I can already tell the cats will eventually tear it up and make it look ratty, and also slip out from under it most likely.

We can't use normal room dividers because our cats can sometimes jump from the floor to the top of the fridge, and room dividers are too flimsy. Also I'm not sure how to fasten a door to them (maybe I could just open them, but idk).

I've also half-way crossed any meshes, cages, or fencing off my option list because it looks ratty imo. Btw when I say "ratty" I mean it will make me look like some backyard breeder or someone who doesn't care about her cats. I don't want my kittens to look like inmates lol. But cages/metal bars are a last resort, because I need something, as right now my mom has them set up in what I personally consider to be cages that are far too small to keep the mother cat in 24/7 for 2 to 4 weeks. The mother cat can just about lay down once you have to put the litterbox in. (It's the vertical one with the 3 tier platforms, with wheels and a bottom tray that you can find on amazon)

I've looked all over amazon, just window (lol) shopping/browsing for ideas on what I could use, and omg. Either inflation is horrible, or I'm severely out of touch with what a "budget" option for this project would be.

I've even gone so far as to consult ChatGPT, who was not really that helpful.

A list of things I've thought about already are:
-Garage screen doors (cats will eventually scratch through and slip under)
-Sliding barn doors (for the end of the entry way that leads into the living room, instead of dividing the dining room, but this would give the kittens and queens access to the front door when people go in and out)

• Those DIY metal grid panels people use to build storage furniture (ratty looking, and kind of expensive, but is my last resort as it seems to be the cheapest option I think)
• Ordering a proper glass window wall (this would have to be properly installed into the house, which would cost too much)
• Normal room dividers (too flimsy, too short, no door option)
• Chain link fence segments (definitely ratty looking)
• Decorative metal/PVC room divider modular panels that hang from the ceiling (I can't seem to find a version that has ample visibility without giant holes the kittens could slip through)
• Just building a bigger cage (more expensive than just building a wall out of the panels, and again, it's ratty looking)
• Using clear acrylic modular panels with holes in the corners, chained/tied together to hang from the ceiling (it's an option, but I'm not sure if it's the best in terms of aesthetics & cost, and idk how to attach a door that way)
• 3D printed prefab wall panels (not see through, and idk if/how I'd fit a door on it)
• Prefab floor to ceiling windows (expensive, heavy, needs proper installation I think)
• A clear, plastic tent piece, large enough for a patio (that would also look bad, since it's shiny and most likely will get scratched up)

I may be forgetting some options that I considered already, but I'm a complete novice at construction and home improvement, so I figured you guys probably know something I don't. I need a true barrier, that is preferably as clear as possible.

Even if you think your idea isn't all that good, suggest it anyway because I might be able to springboard off of it. This includes ideas relating to stuff I've thought of already.

I have a Pixel 4a which has just reached end of support for Android. However, I love this phone and the only hardware issue is that the battery doesn't last me scrolling social media all day, so I am not looking to upgrade to a newer handheld just yet.

I've been looking into Graphene OS and Lineage OS as perhaps alternatives I should consider, at least just so I can keep getting security updates. However, looking through GOS, they say that their 4a build is an "extended support" build different from the main OS which is described as a "stopgap" before upgrading phones. LOS says it's supported but through an automatically generated page which doesn't leave me with much confidence about the attention and stability of the build on my particular phone.

I'm asking y'all's opinion on whether I should even bother. Security upgrades are important, but my phone is a secondary device at best, one which I always use with the same apps and websites and honestly not really that much of a security risk. Watch hubris get me.

I signed up for a class from Udemy. Udemy makes tech classes you take at your own pace. The lessons are many short videos with lectures and some practical exercises.

I signed up for a class that will prepare me to take a certification class for a skill that will help my resume. Complete worth it.

I am about 2/3 done.

The thing is I've getting frustrated and mentally run down.

The course is voluminous. The going is slow.

I know the thing to do is to forget about finishing, forget about the results, and just focus on enjoying each lesson in the hear and now.

I enjoy taking notes, I am good at it, and I find reviewing notes to be soothing/meditative.

I still get frustrated and demoralized.

Worse, I always thought if I got a lot of time to learn something I would sit down at it 8 hours a day and blow it away. I get wiped out at about 3-4 hours. I'm kicking myself for this which isn't helping.

Any advice, commiseration, or success stories?

Our extended family lives in the same city and we're always getting together (brother/sisters-in-laws, their kids). So basically our generation and our kids. Probably 13-15 of us.

We meet maybe once or twice a month, but whenever we meet, kids just go do kids things, dads go over here, moms go over there. One of the dads invariably falls asleep, one or two of the kids kind of mull about not quite fitting in here or there.

I was wondering if any of you had any ideas for something that can be done together that might help build memories or at least structure some time so that there's meaningful interaction and we can get to know each other better instead of defaulting to whatever is least effort.

The only constraint is that is has to be that it's an in-home, indoor activity suitable for teens/pre-teens.

Hey, I thought folks on tildes might have some personal experience here. For context - I'm not stuck on the raspberry pi zero, and I'm open to alternatives. I'm looking at it because it's inexpensive ($15), which is my limiting factor right now.

I am curious to play around with pihole to block ads network wide. I'd also love to be able to run a web server to host my website. After some precursory research, I learned that raspberry pi zero w is a good option.

My question is - are there any other things that are good (or necessary) to purchase to go along with it? Asking because I am going to have to buy it online (one of the authorized sellers), and since I'm going to pay for shipping, I only want to make one purchase. So, if there's other things I need to get, I'd love to know.

Alternatively, if you have personal experience with an alternative device, I'm all ears. (P.S. I realize I could just run pihole on my laptop, but I don't want to do that, as I'd need to keep it running 24/7...) I did see some alternative devices (orange pi, for example). But they were all much more expensive ($40 + rather than $15 for raspberry pi zero w)

Hi ~travel!

My partner and I are going to Oahu for a ten day holiday at end of October. Neither of us have been there before. We are looking for advice on what to see, eat, do. We have a rental car.
We'd love to see some less popular nooks of Oahu without angering the locals.

So far we have to do:

• Pearl harbor museum, USS Arizona.
• Surf somewhere we can both enjoy. I am experienced but in intermediate paddling shape. Partner is a novice. Trying for a couple hours' AM paddle out for a few days. Beach, point, or rock reef breaks.
• Drink a Mai Tai. Where is the best bar on the island? Posh or dive? We like dive bars but aren't afraid to splash out for a fantastic experience.
• Attend a luau. Who's got the best roast swine? Removed this on the advice of commenters, also very expensive after looking into it. Will go eat at a few food trucks instead!
• Day hikes. Where are the good trails?
• Non-surf watersports. Can't afford marlin fishing with our budget but snorkeling, diving, or sailing are realistic options.

Anything else? Some of the best travel suggestions have come from strangers in hostels or bars - probably also Tildes. Thanks for reading everyone!

edit: for brevity

I figure a new thread might be in order since it has been over two months since the last one and we are continuing to get a stream of new users over time.

Welcome to Tildes!

This is a place for you to ask any question you have about the site, from “what is the moderation philosophy?”to “what does that blue line next to some comments mean?” to “what is the general vibe like here?” Tildes has a lot of documentation, history, and embedded social norms that can be daunting or opaque at first glance, so here’s your opportunity to get on-demand, personal help with anything you need.

Questions about anything and everything are fair game. Follow-up questions are encouraged! No question is too simple.

Also, a quick note: the only person who can speak in any official capacity on Tildes is our admin @Deimos. Everyone answering who is NOT him is just a helpful community member!

It is perfectly okay to ask any question — even if you think it’s been asked before, or even if you didn’t search for an answer beforehand. Just ask away, and someone will answer you!

Previous versions:

• v1
• v2

Just wondering how to and if anyone has experience with joining the unofficial Matrix group of our namesake...

It seems to be very good as an even easier way to send files like AirDrop but also to keep them in one distributed place in a privacy-affirming and respectful way.

Is there a catch or is it really a free lunch in this regard?

Hello everyone, my CPU died and I'm at a crossroads and hoping for some advice. I bought my rig 4 years ago second-hand. It was originally built in 2017 using high-end parts. It was not something I was looking for TBH, but at the time GPUs were hard to get and it was a crazy deal. Here is what's left of the rig:

• Motherboard - ASUS x99 Deluxe II, fits Intel i7 LGA2011-v3 CPU socket
• PSU - EVGA Supernova 850 T2
• RAM - 32GB, 4 sticks of G.Skill Trident Z 3200 DDR4
• GPU - EVGA 1080 Ti Founder's Edition 11 GB
• Case - In Win 904 plus - large and spacious case
• Storage - Couple of Samsung SSDs
• CPU Cooler - Have ditched the Corsair AIO, picked up a lowest tier fan for $10 to keep it booting while I figure out what to do

Options I'm floating.

1. Get a compatible CPU, but that socket is harder to come by for my MOBO and likely to be second hand + get a new CPU cooler, and upgrade GPU.
2. Replace MOBO, GPU, and get a new CPU and CPU cooler. The PSU is 6 years old but it's decent quality and 850 watts should be enough?

Price range/goals:

• Happy to spend a bit on something that is mid to slightly upper range, but not high end. Thinking $$ will go into the GPU and CPU (maybe $600-800 USD ea?), something reasonably good that's just before the latest gen to get a discounted price. If replacing MOBO, something simple and medium range would be ideal.
• Play some current AAA games like Baulder's Gate 3 and Elden Ring decently, at medium-high settings (not ultra), and don't need super high FPS.
• Ideally supports 4k resolution for desktop use but for gaming I'd be mostly sticking to 1440p/1080p.
• I don't want to overclock (those days are over)
• Likely to sell in 2ish years, don't need heaps of futureproofing
• If replacing MOBO, open to going to the AMD ecosystem for price/performance ratio. I've only ever used Intel so know less about AMD systems.
• Don't need raytracing, DDR5
• For CPU cooler I don't mind AIO but if anyone has any non-water cooled recommendations I'm all ears

I'm at a bit of a loss at what to do, and there are not many PC-building threads here on Tildes, so I thought I'd ask for some advice. Anyone have opinions on option 1 or 2 above, or is there a third option I'm not thinking of? And does anyone have part recommendations? Thanks in advance.

Next week, I will be closing on my first ever home (hello Michigan tilderinos!). One of the projects I want to tackle and work on after I move in is setting up a smart home ecosystem that is sustainable long-term. I saw the open-source Home Assistant but I think I need to do more research on it and find compatible products. For now, my wishlist of projects are:

• Controllable lighting from my phone or computer
• Carbon Monoxide/Natural Gas detection
• Water leak and usage monitoring
• Thermostat

Are there any other use cases that you use home automation for? If you use Home Assistant (or used it in the past), what are some things I should consider? Any products that you bought in the past and regret now?

I'm not new to two-factor authentication (2FA) as a concept, but available options and how they'd fit into a workflow has always felt somewhat opaque. Everytime I've been required to use 2FA, I've used SMS despite knowing how insecure that really is.

GitHub's 2FA requirement is about to lock me out of my personal account, so I figured it's time to get a grasp on this:

• What second factors are available to me and what do the workflows looks like?
  • Preferably these second factors wouldn't require me to sign up for some associated service.
• What are my options for redundancy?
  • Can I have multiple second factors?
  • Where are you supposed to keep recovery codes? (I've read that keeping them in your password manager essentially defeats the purpose)
• What happens if I screw up and lose my second factor? With services that just have password requirements, you can use your email to reset, are there analogous systems for 2FA?

Let's say I want to draw/paint things like this: 1 2

Think black/death metal album covers, medieval renaissance, dark/sci fi scenarios.

I know this takes years of practice and I just want to do these as a hobby.

I am just lost to where I start. Just pen and paper and focus learn how to draw people first? Is there any online courses/resources?

The second thing is I don't want to spend money so I won't learn to do these with oil or any real world material. If I do commit to the hobby with pen and paper, I will go to digital (drawing tablet + Linux/krita) and stay on that forever.

It's the same with guitar. I play guitar for years and I'm settled for life with a nice guitar + mid priced digital pedalboard with nice effects/simulations (ampero II stomp) and a 1x12 flat speaker cabinet. No more purchases.

I'm trying to get back into drawing. Ye gods, my skills have gone downhill. As a total pro, I started out drawing a head and went from there with no care for composition and no clue where I'm going with this one—guess it should be some sorta chibi barbarian or something? Anyhows, any suggestions appreciated.

I know I need some darker tones to give it that spatial feel. Some pencil pieces, even if they're merely sketches, manages to get the tones just right. I think some of it is about having degrees of shading, where some smaller detail have even darker shadows. But it is hard to get right, don't even know if there's a word for it.

Here's my sucky drawing!

I decided to set up automatic backup of my files from my phone and laptop to Backblaze B2. I didn't find a good solution to sync photos from my phone directly to Backblaze, so I decided to do the following:

1. Sync photos from my phone to my laptop using Syncthing
2. Back up those photos as well as other files from the laptop to Backblaze using Restic

Is this backup solution fine, or are there any issues with it?

Also, most of the stuff I need to back up, even on my laptop, are photos/videos. Is there a point in using Restic with it's deduplication and incremental backups for this use case, or should I just use Rclone directly? I'd assume deduplication won't save me much storage because photos generally don't have similar byte chunks, although I may be wrong.

I have a business phone number that I use for work in addition to my personal cell phone number which I’ve had for 20+ years. I’ve always used my work number for anything job-related (colleague contact, vendors, sales reps, networking, LinkedIn, etc) and only provide my personal for, well, personal contacts.

But having had my personal number for as long as I have, it’s very easy to Google my name and find that number associated to me.

My issue is that I’m constantly receiving phone calls and voicemails on my personal number from vendors, sales reps, etc that are either for services we use at my job or from vendors in relevant fields contacting me for various reasons. I realize some may lump this kind of outreach into “spam”, but I want to differentiate this kind of outreach from what I consider true spam (robocalls, phishing, non-work related sales calls like for home internet, etc) which just goes ignored and blocked.

I don’t want to answer every call to correct someone to use my work contact info. I can continue ignoring but it does fill my voicemail and I’m hoping to reduce the number of calls I receive on my cell every day (even if it were to only cut it down by 5). Someone suggested changing my outgoing voicemail message to flag it’s my personal number and any work related messages would be ignored while providing my work number. I think this may be the best approach (though I’d skip providing my work number as I don’t need it to start receiving robocalls). I know I’m not the only one that deals with this (but maybe I’m in the minority rather than a majority) and am curious if y'all have this issue and if so, how you manage it?

Aiming this question at parents mostly.

I'm about to be a dad in the next week or so and I obviously want to raise my son to be a good person. My father was/is an absent drug addict, so I have a good roadmap of "don't." But I saw very little in the way of "do."

Where is the line between being too authoritarian vs too permissive? What are your thoughts on gentle parenting? I don't want to trade "well-behaved" for "well-adjusted" or vice versa.

I'm also open to newborn advice since that's what I'll primarily be dealing with for the next little while, obviously.

Author's note: I'm mostly typing this up for myself as a writing exercise to sum up my situation, so that I can present it to a doctor one day if I can find one who will listen. It's a long read, and I don't expect anyone to seriously read it? But, if you happen to make it through and have any advice, or recommendations for specialists I could seek out, I would really appreciate that.

I work remotely as an open source maintainer for a university research lab, so I spend a lot of time at my computer. Throughout my adult life, I've found that I work best when sitting in my bed with my laptop. Yet, I figure sitting in my bed isn't the best for my body, so I've tried hard over the years to make a desk setup that's as accommodating as possible:

• I have a big corner desk with lots of tabletop space and overhead cabinets.
• I've set up cozy under-cabinet 2700K LED strip lightning.
• I've decorated the space with nice sentimental things.
• I've got a foot-warmer under the desk (since I have chronic ice-cold feet for reasons I don't yet understand).
• I own a (secondhand) Steelcase Leap v1 that I've meticulously adjusted to my body, making sure all of the heights and distances are within typical ergonomic recommendations.
• I have an ergonomic keyboard with a sliding under-desk tray
• I've gotten dual monitors, with one being a modern 1024*1280 monitor to avoid whiplash from an extra-wide double-1080p monitor setup.

Despite all of the above, every time I go to use my setup, I feel a big sense of revulsion and a big urge to just curl up in bed with my laptop.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about why I react this way, and I attribute it to a whole bunch of underlying factors:

1. I'm autistic+anxious (ASD/GAD diagnoses), and I was previously diagnosed with ADHD, too.
2. I struggle a lot with pain/physical discomfort:
   • One of my brain quirks is that I have big sensory sensitivities surrounding my body. I'm hyperaware of any uncomfortable sensations in my body, and pain/discomfort can completely derail my ability to focus and be present in the moment. For example, if I eat too much and feel overfull, the sensation of my stomach pressing against my other internal organs drives me crazy, to the point where I can hardly even watch a show or listen to music. The same goes for when I'm constipated or have an upset stomach. When I get like this, it's like I can't feel any emotions. The discomfort/pain are the only physical sensations I can take in, because they crowd everything else out. I can't feel warmth or happiness or fullness in my heart. All I feel is discomfort.
   • My anxiety results in a near-constant state of tension. I'm often very aware of the booming of my heartbeat, or tightness in my chest. I fall into a negative feedback loop, as it makes it very difficult to relax, which further triggers anxiety and tension. (Side note: Beta blockers are the most effective anti-anxiety medications I've ever been prescribed for exactly this reason. They target the physical sensations, and helped me feel an overall sense of calm. I haven't been prescribed them in 7+ years, though, because every new GP/psych I visit automatically discounts them as off-label/not-first-line approaches, even though I've had direct success with them when other approaches have failed. I wish doctors would listen to me. Would weed help?)
   • When I get anxious/depressed, I find that my posture suffers a lot. My body sort of curls in on itself, as though it were attempting the fetal position. It takes an exceedingly difficult amount of effort to preserve good posture the more fatigued I get. But, in such a state, I don't have the spoons to exert this effort -- it gets harder and harder until I inevitably curl up in bed.
   • Wouldn't you know it, I have chronic pain, too. Multiple times a week, it manifests as this combo of upper-back/shoulder/neck/sinus/behind-the-eyes pain. It typically happens only on one side of my body (though which side it happens on is not consistent). The sinus pain is curious, too: I regularly have a "cold nose" (similar to my cold feet), and breathing in feels icy and sharp, with a tingle like I'm about to sneeze. I find myself reflexively picking or prodding at my nose just to distract from the painful sensations. I often cover my nose with my shirt so that I can breathe in my warm, moist, exhaled breath. It doesn't really warm up my nose, but it provides some in the moment relief.
   • You can imagine what this chronic pain does to my ability to feel emotions or focus on tasks... I rely a LOT on Aleve. ;;
   • I'm also sensitive to temperature: I really dislike being too cold or too hot. I often change clothes multiple times a day, from shirts to sweaters and back + shorts to sweatpants and back, because I'm constantly adjusting my temperature.
   • I also am particular about pressure and textures on my skin. I don't really like having my skin exposed? I like big comfy sweaters and a specific kind of sweatpants that Uniqlo used to sell. I also really adore this specific duvet I got from IKEA, because it's big and fluffy and weighty. It's like a semi-weighted blanket without being so densely concentrated (I have a glass bead weighted blanket I hardly use because of how icky it feels).
   • Because of all of this, my ideal state of being is one where my body just kind of... disappears from my consciousness? I strongly wish I could exist without being aware of my physical form, because I'd say at least 90% of my waking hours I'm feeling some form of discomfort or another, and thus 90% of the time any happiness is blocked by the discomfort.
3. As far as working on a computer, I find that I'm most productive when I can sink into a state of hyperfocus/flow and attack a task for hours at a time in a single sitting. I'll lose track of time, come out of the state wondering where the day went, yet be insanely productive during that period.
   • Naturally, this goes against conventional advice for computer-based WFH, since in this state I don't take stretching breaks, don't adjust my posture, don't rest my eyes, etc. But, I find forced breaks tend to rip me out of my focus, and it takes a lot of self-regulation/spoons to get back on track after a break.
   • Despite the terrible ergonomics of hyperfocus, it counterintuitively acts as a needed respite from the pain/discomfort. Being hyperfocused is one of the only states that supersedes the sensory sensitivity I have. I'll often be so focused that I don't notice the state my body is in, which is pretty much my ideal! (Side note: Because of this dynamic, I often lean on rhythm video games as a respite for pain, too. They're easy for me to hyperfocus on, which makes passing the time a lot more bearable for me when I'm in pain.)
4. And, the environment most conducive for sparking a state of hyperfocus is my bed, rather than a desk.
   • Even with all my adjustments, my desk feels very finicky and dynamic. The chair rolls, the keyboard tray slides, the chair back reclines, my foot warmer slides around. Rarely do I feel anchored, and rarely does everything feel "just right". I can't really find a "locked in" position for hyperfocus, as my body is always interacting with its environment via subtle little tics and adjustments.
   • I also find that sitting at a desk leaves me feeling rather exposed? Even with clothes on, I just... don't have enough weight on my legs to feel fully comfortable.
   • When I do try to sit at a desk, I may be somewhat comfortable at first, but as time goes on I get more and more uncomfortable. Maybe a tricky task temporarily spikes my anxiety, which causes tension and pain, which makes me focus on the pain, which makes it harder to think clearly about the task at hand, which makes me more anxious, which begins to affect my posture, which makes it harder to properly sit in my ergonomic chair. I'll fidget and shift, and start to lean on one arm. It often escalates to the point where it feels like torture to hold my own body up, because I feel like a ragdoll in my chair.
   • My bed, by comparison, doesn't ask any effort of me at all. I'm fully enveloped by the mattress and my pillows, so if I end up in "ragdoll anxiety/depression" mode, I'm supported in exactly the same way I would be if I was in "full spoons" mode. I also get the comfort of my duvet, with fluffy warmth and weight on every part of my body, and very little of me being exposed.
   • This means that I can somewhat ignore my body when I'm in my bed. Even if I'm in pain, even if I'm anxious, I don't really have to... DO anything about it? I don't have to physically move my body in a specific way in order to keep hacking away at a task. The pain will still be there, but the hyperfocus state can win out, and I can work away while feeling like my laptop is an extension of my body.

Surely this isn't good for me, right? Surely I should be attacking the root of the problem so that I don't devolve into a ragdoll mess of pain every time I try and use a desk? Surely lying in bed for hours at a time isn't good for my body, right? But, with this multi-layered set of factors, with many of them being inherent anxious/autistic traits, I don't know how to create an environment that's any better for me than my bed is.

What do?

Specifically this week I have to choose whether to create an account with paypal, cashapp or venmo but I am also interested in a broader discussion including other apps. Any advice or information would be welcome.

I have a very long history of mental illness from age 10, and though I've cycled through a lot of explanations the diagnoses that best match my symptoms currently are currently ADHD and CPTSD. I am medicated for both, and although I am not in active therapy I have also done therapy. I consider my mental health relatively well-managed currently: at least, I am not in any urgent danger of hurting myself and it has been a very long time since I have been. Certainly things could be better but I'm usually functional.

But sometimes I go through these phases, generally 1-3 months long, where my ability to function on a normal level slips dramatically. It never gets to the nightmarish state I was in when I was a teenager, but it becomes hard to... oh, make appointments, do the dishes, walk the dog, just generally deal with the obligations of being an adult. My house is never in GREAT shape but it becomes a disaster. Work performance suffers a lot, my relationships suffer. I also start experiencing emotional PMS symptoms (or perhaps I just lose the ability to suppress them), and while I'm not the type to have "emotional outbursts" I do experience deep and irrational sadness or anger on those days. I also tend to end up dealing with insomnia, which is like a force multiplier on feeling overwhelmed.

It sucks especially because it's like I'm watching myself do it, and I feel as though I don't have enough control over myself to nip it in the bud, and sometimes the damage I do during these times is not fixable at all. It's almost like an unplaceable craving, like there's some thing I'm missing and my subconscious and my body are trying to send me signals, and I just can't interpret them right and figure out what I need.

How I generally get out of these phases is -- well, it's a bit chicken-egg, because the turmoil makes it difficult for me to reach out for help or even do anything to help myself, so to me it seems like sometimes the wave just passes. I'll say, "ok, this time I'll get my shit together", download some new app or whatever, organize my time or tasks via some new fascinating system, and that'll work... but it feels like it's only because I'm "ready" for it to work.

I think it's unlikely I'll find a solution that will work indefinitely to prevent these slips (hooray, novelty-obsessed brain). And anyway - as though it even needs to be said - I'm sulking in the midst of one now, so prevention or reduction tips might be helpful later, but for this moment I'm mostly concerned with getting out once I'm in.

If you have "swingy" mental health, or phases, or waves - what do YOU do about it, if anything? Therapy? Do you change your medication? Do you take a vacation? Commiserate on your favourite internet forums? What works for you?

It's seems to have been common sense for a while now that Windows has good-enough security software that you don't need 3rd party tools but is it actually the case now? Is there anything to lose or gain from trusting 3rd party with this stuff?

I'm a long time Tildes user but I've created this separate account because I'd like to avoid connecting this topic to my normal username.

I am going through a divorce that will take about a year to finalize and I am struggling with the stress. If it were a short term thing, I would grit my teeth and bear it, but I have a full year ahead and I'm afraid I need some help in order to make it through with my physical and mental health intact.

My wife has a personality that includes "kill mode" for anyone she deems as an opponent -- whether it is another driver on the road, a customer service agent who doesn't give her what she wants, or anyone at all who she perceives as having slighted her. This is one of the reasons why we're getting divorced. I have nearly the opposite approach to conflict, and I can't handle seeing people get attacked so fiercely or so often. Now that we're getting divorced, I am the target of these attacks. For clarity, they're only verbal attacks, not physical -- there is no physical abuse in this case.

I could stiffen up and fight back whenever she starts arguing with me, but we have kids and I want to commit myself to preventing their exposure to hostilities as much as possible. But this means I have to do my best to brush off my wife's verbal abuse and maintain composure so they can have a stable dad to rely on.

Right now I'm having trouble sleeping and I am constantly anxious throughout the day. It gets worse whenever I have to interact with my wife; and unfortunately we have to interact frequently every day to coordinate childcare and logistics of the divorce. I have a tightness in my chest from being so anxious (not heart attack) and I am struggling to maintain focus on work or any tasks I have to complete. I can hold back the tears, but I really do want to cry many, many times a day.

What can I do to wade through this time period? I know there are breathing exercises to help calm down. What else can you recommend? I am trying to make sure I do eat well enough and that I drink enough water. I avoid alcohol entirely and don't take any kind of medication.

Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. And I'm sorry if this is not an appropriate forum for this question. I will delete if so.

I have been a reader in my teens and my early youth. This all changed when I started to develop a depression back in the days. I had no will, interest or strength to pick up a book. During my university years I read a lot of textbooks but no prose. Picking up a book today feels like a chore for me. I find a lot of them bland and have to force myself to read/finish the story. So basically, my text boils down to: What helped you to rekindle your love for books/reading again? I am curious about all the answers.

EDIT:
Thanks to the comments so far, I have seen that I did not answer the important question why I stopped reading and why it now feels like a chore. So I'll try and give a bit more answers.
Besides "having no strength" during my phase of depression, I kind of started to hate the worlds the books offered. I wished to be part of these worlds, where my depression would not mess with me, where I could be happy or at least experience cool adventures. But after every reading session came the hard realization that I was still in this world with my depression and all my problems. That was when I decided to stop reading.

As to why reading feels like a chore today: I don't know. I started to read books again that I loved as a teenager/ young adult, but the magic was gone. Meanwhile, I also started to pick up more books from up-to-date bestseller lists, but I found a lot of them pretty boring, or I did not like the style of the author.

Hey there, curious if any other folks on tildes suffer with this, and if so, if you can share things that have helped you.

Context: I am a very light sleeper. Eg: the sound of a phone vibrating, or whispering, will wake me up. I have no issues falling asleep at night, nor do I have any anxiety around sleep, I just wake up from the slightest noise. I've been like this all my life.

Unfortunately, I also live in a very noisy neighborhood: lots of modded vehicles, lots of rumbling bass, etc. I wake up 2-5 times a night. I might get a full night sleep once every 2 months.

For the past year, I've been working very hard on solving this problem. I have made some progress, but still suffer nightly because of this. Things I've done:

• Noise masking: I now have 2 white noise machines, an air purifier (max volume), and sleep with ear plugs. Unbelievably, the cars are still loud enough to be heard over all of that and wake me up. Even when I can't hear them, they vibrate the floor/my bed, and the vibration wakes me up. However, this has still made a massive difference (I went from about 3-4 hours sleep/night, to 6-7.)

• Sleep hygiene. I've learned a lot about it, and worked hard to implement different techniques. I keep a very steady sleep schedule. I eat well and exercise. I do not get in bed ever unless for sleep. etc. While this does not prevent waking up from noise, I think it helps with keeping sleep consistent (i.e. at least I know what time I'll get tired at night.)

• Light: In similar vein of sleep hygiene, I've learned a lot about how light impacts our sleep wake cycles; I avoid light and screens in the evening, and get in direct sunlight (for about 20-30 minutes) within an hour of waking. Again, doesn't help with noise, but helps tremendously with keeping sleep consistent.

• Medical help: I see a neurologist / sleep specialist. He is wonderful He prescribed a low dose of gabapentin, which has actually been really helpful. Unfortunately, it only lasts about 4 hours, so while the first half of the night is good, I still wake up many times in the second half of the night. I have tried some other medications (trazadone, benadryl, zyrtec) but they have either had no impact (trazadone), or make you drowsy the next day which makes me miserable (bendaryl, zyrtec).

One slight annoyance is that whenever I bring up sleep issues, the first response I tend to get is "you must have anxiety". Then, advice is tailored to that. Really, it is not anxiety, and therapy will not help me here. I just wake up insanely easy. It seems most solutions are for folks with anxiety, and I don't find a lot for folks that are just light sleepers. Can anyone relate?

Any advice you can throw my way?

I'm normally the tech guy in my social circles and can make good recommendations but its been a few years since I was a collage student so when one of my associates who is about to start her college journey as a dental student asked me for my recommendation, I wasn't sure exactly what to recommend.

My first thought was an iPad paired with an Apple Pencil and a Logitech portfolio case. This was because she mentioned lots of note taking and drawing. I figured that option gave her the most bang for the buck and versatility to accomplish any tasks necessary while also having longevity to get her threw the next few years. As for what model, I haven't really figured out just yet.

My main drawbacks here are that iPads still don't fully replace a Mac or PC. I don't know what software her college will require and while many schools are modernizing some are still not quite there yet and may require specific software that can't be run on iPads.

Of course the solution to that problem is to purchase a MacBook as well. That should handle most any applications and maybe make longer essays and research papers easier to get through. Ideally that would be option number one, but obviously that's very expensive, and while I do not know what her and her families fiscal background is like, I think its safe to assume that in this economy, even with educational discounts, that's not the most feasible option for most students.

On the other hand just purchasing a MacBook instead of an iPad would work but not be as versatile since apple has yet to produce a 2in1 like the Microsoft Surface. Speaking of 2in1's I thought about the Microsoft Surface and even some Samsung 2in1's with their s-pen equivalent, but longevity has never really been Windows or Chromes OS's strongpoint. Not to mention I really am not a fan of Chrome OS and its many limitations. I know there is a lot of schools that use them, but they also tend to end up unfixable and unsupported.

Again... its been a minute since I was a student, so maybe there are things that I am not thinking about or realizing. I told her I would think about it and come back with some recommendations so I figured I'd ask here for some real life experience while I do some research on the subject.

EDIT

• Her major is dentistry
• She curranty has an iPhone
• I'll ask her to check her schools requirements
• I'll reply to everyone soon, I just wanted to make those things known for everyone.
• Thanks for all the input so far!

Hello... looking to hang a 100lbs heavy bag in my basement (with regular wood-stud walls). I've researched various options and have gone down all sorts of engineering rabbit holes, including pull-out strengths of various sized lag bolts, horizontal load maximums of different kinds of wood, etc. I've perused various marketplaces for various types of mounting solutions and such. The problem with standard DIY wall mounting is that it doesn't come off the wall far enough.

I'm wondering though -- and it seems simple enough of a solution -- why the following wouldn't work:

An 8-foot span of 2x6, turned "vertically" so that the top and bottom faces are the 2" edge, affixed 45 degrees to the studs. ASCII art not-withstanding, it's just an isosceles triangle, where the 8-foot hypotenuse is the lumber, and the "height" of the triangle is 4-feet. It would seem 2 brackets (the kind used in making decks) on each end, screwed into the studs would be suitably strong.

The "Sagulator" (google it!) seems to think that such a setup would only experience a total 0.01in sag in the center of the span.

The heavy bag would just hang from this with a strap that loops over the beam.

An 8-foot span basically means I have a lot of clearance on either side.

I suppose I could just go right into the ceiling joists, but with my proposed setup I can slide the bag to one end or the other and create a bit more of a dynamic setup (albeit it looks a bit more unsightly).

Thoughts or suggestions? Or am I crazy?

As of late, I've decided to introduce my dad to video games. It's his birthday upcoming in a few days, and I'm leaning towards getting an Xbox of some kind. I haven't been in the world of vidya for quite some time, so I'm hoping to lean on other opinions to make the right decision.

The main question I have is: if I'm buying used, is it worth it to try and find a Series S/X or would I be fine at entry level with an Xbox One? I figure I'll get GamePass and figure out what sorts of games he'd like to play before investing. I only really have $200 to spend, which puts a Series more or less out of the question. Would an Xbox One be a decent introduction to gaming for someone who doesn't have much of a standard for graphics / gameplay etc.? Also: what games should I add to the library?

Hello ~health tilderinos!

I have a case of the 'uneven pecs'.
To elaborate, my left pecs is much more developed and my right seems to be lagging behind which is mighty frustrating because I've always used dumbbells to eradicate any sort of uneven muscle development :(

My upper body strength training routine consists of

• bench presses (incline, flat, decline) with dumbbells
• bench presses (incline and flat) with cables for inner chest development
• rows with cable machine
• cable crossovers (high, low, mid)
• dumbbell pullover

FWIW I do have really uneven abs -- the abs on my left side are off by one. They first left ab starts where the second ab of the right side starts if that makes sense?
So I am sort of acknowledging that this could be genetic and out of my control.

Any help/insight/advice appreciated!

Just coming back into the rental market after owning a home for a short time. I found a place that would be great. Then, I got the lease.

This thing is a nightmare. Here are a few of the greatest hits:

• The lease lists my rent and then says they can charge "additional rent" which is "all added charges, costs, and fees for the duration of this lease." So, sounds like they can just make up a number and add it to the rent and I have to pay it?
• The landlord will make a "good faith effort" to make the apartment available to me when my lease starts. Shouldn't the landlord actually do that, not just make any sort of "effort" to do it, "good faith" or otherwise?
• If the unit is damaged such that I cannot live there while repairs are being made, the landlord "may" issue me a credit for the days I can't live there. What criteria will the landlord use? If they decide not to, that means I'll be paying rent for an apartment I cannot occupy?

This is a short lease — I've seen much longer in my time renting — but even so, I could come up with a dozen more examples like this. What is going on here? I've read the law in the area, and I suspect some of the clauses in here are actually unenforceable. For example, the lease allows for automatic rent increases at lease renewal without notification while the law requires 60 days notification, and it requires me to notify 14 days after notification of a rent increase if I do not accept where the law says I have 30 days to do so.

But how did we get here? I just want to pay a specified amount every month in order to be able to live in a space someone else owns. This should be relatively simple, but it's turned into this weird whack-a-mole game where every lease is a document of all that landlord's past tenant grievances they are trying to now avoid in the future, along with any other unreasonable terms they think they can get away with. Regardless of what the law is, the lease can say anything. If I read it and decline to sign, the next person will probably just sign it and hope for the best.

For those of you who are renting, how do you deal with this sort of stuff? Are there reasonable landlords still out there? Is the right way to buy a home just to escape from unreasonable lease terms, even if you don't really want to own?

Update: Possibly important context- This property is in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I've been a professional in the IT sector for the past 25 years, and during that time I've gone through several different methods of finding my next gig. Back when I started out, the internet was still a relatively new thing, so I got my first few positions by answering ads in the local newspaper (remember those?)

Two years ago, I decided to try my hand at writing novels, and while that has been quite fulfilling personally, it hasn't yet started to pay any bills so I've had to keep my IT skills sharp and hold down a standard job to pay the bills.

Now though, I find that I'm looking a lot harder at the companies and people I work for, and I'd like to be able to shop around a bit more for a position at a place that is more in line with me as a person.

To that end, I'm wondering what methods are more commonplace now for finding employment, as opposed to my standard, which is pretty much indeed and the occasional linkedin find. Which methods have you had the most success with?

How old were they and how long did it take you to get to a place where you were confident enough in their recall to let your dog(s) run around off-leash at the park or in a field?

My boy is 6 months old now and we've had him with us for 3 months. He's loose/ off-leash at home and his recall/ general engagement at home is very good but obviously there are still lots of exciting distractions out in the wider world. We still do plenty of recall games with him every week to build on it.

At the park we switch to a 15m long leash clipped to his harness and let him trot out in front of us and have a good sniff around. When we find a clear space to have a game of fetch, we'll let go of the leash but leave it attached to the harness just in case we need to stomp on it and retrieve him quickly.

Recall still seems decent at the park but I don't trust him enough to take that leash off completely yet - I don't think he'd come back straight away if there was a football or another dog that he could run to and play with. What have your experiences been like?

Edit: starting to realise this might be a very Europe-centric question, the laws for keeping dogs on a leash/ lead are very different in the UK

I've never really been much of an artist myself, but one of my kids (11m) really likes drawing, painting and making small animations on his ipad. I'd like to give him some gentle encouragement, if that's likely to help him enjoy creating artwork more, but I'm not sure what would be a good approach. Does anyone have some suggestions? He told me that he likes drawing objects and landscapes, but I think that's only because he's not confident in drawing live subjects.

Some ideas I had, but I'm not certain of:

• Sketchpad?
• Guide or drawing techniques book?
• Finding and recommending a good youtube channel?

If there's something that helped you at this time of life please let me know, thank you!

Canadian Thanksgiving is just around the corner. My wife and I usually host a small gathering for my wife’s immediate (mom, dad, sister, and grandparents) family at my house. Last year my sister-in-law asked whether she could bring her fiancé, which we were absolutely happy to have him over.

This year however, things are weird. They just got married within the last month, and I got a text from my SIL letting me know that she invited her mother-in-law to my house. I don’t have any problems with the woman, but I found it to be really rude for her to invite someone over to my house without even asking if it was okay.

My SIL is very self-centred most of the time. She expects people to just do whatever she wants to do, and rarely contributes anything. Usually for Thanksgiving I will cook the turkey and a couple of sides, and everyone else is responsible for bringing something (sides, dessert, buns, appies… anything they feel like bringing). She never brings anything except a container to bring leftovers home with her. She is like this with many other things. She has come camping with us and not brought any food for herself, because she is just assuming that we are going to feed her.

I love my wife’s family, but my SIL drives me insane. I find it incredibly rude that she just decided to invite someone to my house without asking. I don’t know what to do though. I feel like I need to call her out on it, but I also don’t want to ruin Thanksgiving.

I guess I have two questions:

Am I wrong to be upset about this?

If I’m not wrong, then what do I do about it?

I'm looking at making a major career change and I'm considering trying out one of our local newspapers to see if I can get into a semi regular gig with them. Is there anything in particular I should know or be looking for?

I have been researching DIY Latex / Hybrid mattresses lately and have been thinking about pulling the trigger. I've been eying a full latex build, 3 inches of Firm, Medium, and Soft talalay (firm -> soft).I was able to find a good amount of information between Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/Mattress/comments/otdqms/diy_mattresses_an_introductory_guide/?rdt=54627) and Arizona Premium Mattresses, but I feel like I'm lacking information about people's anecdotal experiences.

Have you gone the DIY route before? Was it a success? Did you end up effectively buying multiple mattresses worth of components trying to dial it in? Looking back would you just buy a bed in a box? Any insight / tips would be very much appreciated.

I'm looking into insulating the attic above a closed-in back porch & the estimate also included adding additional insulation on top of the blown-in in the attic.

What kinds of factors can be used to think about the value of additional insulation?

For reference, I'm in Florida & keep setpoint around 80 degrees F most of the time when home, and 86 when not home. Power bills in the summer are in the $150-$180 USD range.

It's currently R27 and the quote is to add R11 to bring it up to R38. Code here appears to put new construction at R38 as a minimum, but looking at some charts - it looks like I might have already hit diminishing returns?

This chart I found on "Energy Vanguard" seems to suggest that going from 27 to 38 isn't much of a difference.

Does anyone else have any insight on when those diminishing returns are hit, and if it can make any appreciable difference in power bills? The house itself is comfortable enough, without large swings in temperature.

When traveling on the German high speed ICE trains, you have access to the ICEportal website with a.o. information on your journey and newspapers. The portal also gives you some stuff to waste time on, which includes games. What I love about it, its a collection of simple classics, such as a bubble shooter, a 2048 style puzzle, an arcade motorbike game, and all without the typical freemium advertising or grinding.
Does anyone know about similar offerings? I really don't mind paying, I do mind the advertising or grinding which seems to have become standard. Or even better, if anyone knows how to have the ICEportal games without being on the wifi of the train? What are your thoughts?

Edit: I've just purchased an Unraid license. I'll give it a go and it may not turn out well, but for the time being, the question is settled. I appreciate everyone for providing insightful and informative answers!

Hey everyone,

I've recently bought myself a NUC (NUC11TNHi3) that I intend to run as a home server, using many of my external USB drives as the storage.

My use case is very narrow. I'll use it as a Plex server and seed/leech torrents with it.

I've never built a home server like this before (I did dabble with it on a RPi, but that was just for PiHole), so I've never had to research what operating systems are available to me. After some research, I narrowed it down to two options.

1. Windows
   This option is the most straightforward given that it's the system I'm familiar with the most. My use case is also very narrow, so I could set everything up in a couple of hours. All I'd have to do is install Plex server, a torrent client, exposing them to the outside world with port forwarding or Tailscale (never used it before but seems easy enough), and share my external USB drives locally so that I can access them using my regular desktop computer at home. The downside of this is that Windows can be finicky. I'd also prefer to have my drives pooled under a single drive. A cursory research suggests that Windows can do this as well, but not in a way that inspires confidence.

2. Unraid
   I hadn't heard about this since last week, but it seems like a nice option. It costs money, it's proprietary, and I'd likely have to reformat all my NTFS drives to be able to use it but I was wondering if this would be the best long term solution. The learning curve will be there. Arrays, cache drives, share drives etc. are terms I'm not familiar with (though I can guess what purpose they serve) so it will be more time consuming to set things up properly. But given how narrow my use case is, as elegant a solution as it seems, is it necessary? I'm only considering this because seems like this is the best purpose built OS in the market right now.

Some clarifications:

• I'm sure someone will suggest a Linux distro. I have used Fedora as my main OS for a couple of years and I was quite happy with it, however I could never wrap my head around the Linux permissions structure, which Plex is awful with, as it creates its own user and look for drives under that user. I must have spent hours and hours to make Plex read my external drives properly before, but I've never managed to make it do so without some sort of hacky way and I don't want to do that with my home server. I don't want to have any doubts that things can go wrong. I want something that just works. (If only Synology had a capable device that could handle multiple simultaneous 4K transcodings. I'd have just throw my money at them instead of buying a NUC.)

• My use case will remain narrow. Maybe way down the road I can automate stuff with Sonarr or Radarr or stuff like that, but I don't think I'll ever consume enough recently released stuff to justify it. One thing is for certain, I'm never going to host my password server, feed reader, or something like that on this device.

That's about it. What should I do?

Given that I'm a novice is this area, I'd be all ears to listen any other related or unrelated advice for someone who's just starting to build their first home server.

Thank you in advance.

I use Slack, WhatsApp, Discord and Facebook's Messenger. On my computers, rather than installing dedicated apps, I've always just used these services' browser versions. It allows me to block ads with my browser's ad blocker and modify the UIs with other extensions that I use.

But in terms of privacy — and more specifically, in terms of what the service has access to outside of their own walled gardens — is there a difference between using these services through a browser or their dedicated apps? I use both Windows and Mac computers, if that makes a difference. My browser of choice is Firefox and I run the services in their own containers.

On my phone, I just use the provided apps and get notifications that way. I am well aware that most of these protocols are not great for privacy to begin with, but I'm not currently looking for other messaging systems.

Hello ~hobbies, I've come to you in hopes of getting some guidance as a newbie.

I have never owned a camera before and am afraid of choosing the wrong one for my use case, so I was hoping some people could enlighten me, if not with model suggestions, then with what I should be looking for.

My main goal is to shoot video, not take photos (though of course I want it to take good photos but the primary use will be shooting videos wherever I go). And specifically 4k 60fps video. I have a 65 inch TV where I want to play these videos so that resolution is a must, as any picture quality flaws will be noticed.

I have a gimbal, a hohem iSteady MT2, which I use with my phone and would like to use with the camera, so whatever camera I get can't go above its 1.2kg payload limit. I really don't want to pay for a separate gimbal for the camera.

I plan on using a separate mic, probably the sennheiser mke 200 based on reviews I saw, so the camera must also be able to support external mics.

And lastly, the budget is roughly 1000€.

There are so many brands and models I really don't know where exactly to turn to. I've mostly been leaning towards cameras like the Sony ZV-E10L and similar as they seem geared towards vloggers and that's more or less the type of video I'll be making (not content creation though, these are just personal videos), but I'm wondering if I'm falling into a trap as the price is so much lower than say an A7 III.

Any advice, pointers, or recommendations would be greatly appreciated as I really don't know much about the world of cameras. I'm frankly not even sure what type of camera (DSLR, point and shoot, etc.) I should even be looking at so yeah.

My new Synology DS923+ should be delivered next week, together with 3x6TB drives for a RAID5 setup, 32GB of RAM, 2x1TB NVMe drives and an APC UPS. It's almost certainly overkill as I'll be using the NAS mainly for automated backups (of computers, web servers and cloud services) and as general file storage, although I will also be looking into file syncing, running background scripts, using the NAS as a light development server, and maybe also for surveillance cameras.

Any tips for a beginner? I can find my way around most modern desktop and server systems but I have never set up or maintained a NAS. Are there uses for the system that no one talks about but which you have personally found incredibly useful?

I need and want to buy a portable AMP and DAC. I have no experiance in this, a beginner. I want to choose between Fiio Btr5 and Fiio KA3. I also don't want to deal with battery issue in long term but bluetooth portability feels more convenient.

Can't decide what should i buy. Any advice

So we are planning 11 days in Italy in the winter, flying in and out of Milan.

Time spent in the north we will use public transportation and visit regional cities including Bologna, Genova, Ravenna, Verona, Venice and Florence.

We will drive south and see Naples, Pompeii and Herculaneum.

Any general travel advice, restaurant suggestions, cities we missed that can be reached via transit, sights to see, customs or whatever you think is useful would be most appreciated. Also I need to find a moderate priced hotel or hostel with private rooms for Milan. Thank you very much!

I'm looking for input from the Tildes community about experiences with Android parental controls apps. My daughter is 8, but she rides the bus, so we want to make sure she has ways to contact us if something happens.

Other than that use case, I intend to limit her to offline content (audiobooks and music loaded directly on the phone) and some games.

The platform for this is an older phone (Android 9). I'm not averse to buying a newer phone if that makes the solutions workable, but I wanted to start with the "free" option.

I've installed Google Family Link on the phone. It does a nice job of restricting access to apps, setting time limits on individual apps, and filtering some content. The major limitation seems to be there's no way to restrict what numbers the phone can text or call with.

Bark seems to be the most visible alternative, and adds a lot of features for content monitoring social media, which is not really our use case. The main thing I'm looking for is an app that would let me administer the calling and texting features of the phone. I'm not opposed to paying for a service if that's what's needed.

Anybody have insights into tools? There's a ton of noise in the search results. Other solutions to the problem?