With some inspiration from the Album of the Week over in ~music I was thinking of having something similar for movies. A weekly discussion on a specific movie - we just need to find a selection format that works. We already have a fine weekly thread with free for all discussion, but I was thinking more like a movieclub type thing.

I was thinking a format where every Monday a new topic is created for a specific movie, and the first Monday of the month it will also include the titles for the rest of the month.

The big problem is how to select the movies and what considerations to availability on various streaming services should be done. Which is not easy since the catalog isn't even the same across countries for the same service. I would like there is some element of random discovery, but with some intent of finding quality titles.

I personally enjoy older classics and film festival type movies such as what is on The Criterion Channel and to an extent Mubi. They also have the benefit of being curated services with monthly selections we could simply piggyback on. But maybe that is a bit too niche. There are of course tons of various "best movies of all time"-lists to use and the 1001 movies you must see before you die would be a good candidate to get a mix of all time classics and some titles that aren't mainstream.

We could also do various thematic selections based on decade, genre, director or actors, but I really just want to get started and see how the traction is.

Feel free to chime in if you are interested and have suggestions on how we could choose the movies to watch, and hopefully I can get this thing started Monday the 30th of October.

I’m looking for realistic alternatives to flying across the Atlantic Ocean.

I write this from an airport. I utterly despise flying. I hate it. I dislike literally every step of the process. I find the security screenings degrading despite the supposed advantages of TSA Pre-Check and Global Entry. I find the inefficient, class-based boarding process to be a complete waste of time. I am offended by the ridiculous itemized charges for luggage. Flying wreaks havoc on my body—my legs do not fit in their tiny seats and my head does not rest comfortably against their poorly adjustable headrest. Breathing stale, recirculating air for eight hours next to a coughing madman is unpleasant. When landing, without fail, the change in air pressure annihilates my sinuses, causing me a non-trivial amount of pain. I do not like it.

These factors, primarily, as well as some preference for an environmentally friendly lifestyle, have led me to ask for ways to avoid using an airplane to cross the pond.

I would be willing to pay somewhat more and spend considerably more time in transit to avoid flying. If it’s to be a particularly slow voyage (more than a week, as I imagine is typical), I would need an internet connection to work my job; something that can sustain a connection to a virtual machine, or in an ideal world take video calls. I have no other particular needs.

I obviously cannot take a train. I am left with only two options as a non-working passenger (I think): a cruise, or a cargo ship. The former sounds expensive. I have heard of people doing the latter but at a glance all I see online is “service paused due to COVID-19.” Surely that cannot truly be the case in 2023, though?

Does anyone have experience doing this? Can you offer advice on where to get started, what the experience is like, and what pitfalls to avoid? I am honestly almost at a breaking point here. I am obligated to take several transatlantic flights in the next year and I really cannot bear to continue doing this. I am open to ideas even if not all my criteria can be met. I appreciate any comments.

Upcoming Dates:

Week 4 (Final) Update Thread -- Sunday, October 29
Timasomo Showcase Thread -- Sunday, November 5

November 1-4 are for putting finishing touches on the project to ready it for the showcase. We are quickly closing in on the end!

Update us on your progress so far!

• What did/didn't you get done this week?

• Anything go according to plan?

• Anything go off the rails?

• Any successes or struggles to share?

• Do you need feedback or help on anything?

This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

I wrote this story yesterday. I translated to English with the help of Google Translate and added my own revisions and fixes.

I am helping someone look for a job related to coding (in Canada). Software development, web development, app development, etc. You get the idea. I have no connections in tech to help them network. And I don't understand what the difference is between an intermediate/intro position, what qualifications to help them highlight on their resume, or what is preventing them from finding a job. I know they've applied to hundreds of posts on LinkedIn and Indeed, etc. but they have only received a single interview (but no job).

I am at a loss - how do I help this person? How do you help someone find a job in a field you don't understand or have any network to help them meet the right person? Tech specific advice would be a godsend, but really any job-search related tricks, tips, etc. that I can pass on would be greatly appreciated.

I have a problem. My wife is currently training for a half-marathon and getting really into it. She's getting anxiety about being able to finish her training runs, she's telling me how much this is going to mean to her, and comparing the race with her giving birth to our children.

My problem is that I just don't "get it".

As a good partner, I'm really trying to support her. I have never said anything negative about her running, I've always watched the kids when she needs to train, and I'll absolutely be there during the run to cheer her on. But deep down it just doesn't feel like a 'big deal' to me.

I'm glad that she's healthy and exercising regularly, and that she's getting some mental relief from being a stay-at-home-Mom. But just running a long way is just that. I liken it to saying everyday after dinner, I'm going to go stack some rocks in the front yard. And then one day saying "Wow, I'm going to stack them 10 feet high!". And really expecting her to get excited for me because of that.

Running feels like a personal accomplishment, and because of that, I'm sure she's excited personally, but I'm just not that impressed. I've always hid that part, and just said things like "way to go babe!" or "I knew you could do it", but she could tell this morning that I wasn't truly excited about it.

To compound things, her sister and brother-in-law are avid runners, and they've both done marathons. She is just in awe of them, and they all hype this up to each other. On his last run (a 30 mile trail run) he was faltering, but made it through. Everyone is just so impressed with his accomplishment. I mean its cool that he's good at his hobby, but also that kind of shit cannot be good for your body, and he had like a 3 day recovery period where his wife is watching the kids almost exclusively.

Why is he doing that to himself, and even more importantly, why is everyone around us so excited that he did? I feel like they're getting excited that someone went to the gym and worked out, but just in an extreme manner.

What is wrong with me? Please help me understand why I'm not excited that my wife is running a long distance.

Youtube is flooding with very hot models all doing some pilates and yoga claiming you'll get big gains in no time at all.

I'm looking for a sincere, honest and non-flashy 20 to 30 min video that works both my core and bum region.

Hopefully some of you have had the time to dig through all of the weeds.

With the Youtube adblock debacle going on, and my account on Firefox+Ublock getting the dreaded popup, I was trying out the Piped alternative frontends for Youtube. If you're unaware, this is basically lets you browse Youtube without using the actual Youtube site or your Google account, and there's no ads. Whenever this adblock issue comes up, everyone starts pushing other frontends like Piped as the solution. There's also a dedicated bot that automatically replies with the Piped link when anyone posts a Youtube link on Lemmy. People seem to think very highly of this site! The simping for it can be very strong.

I tried using the main instance, https://piped.video, but it was laggy! Completely, unusably slow. I've also had it crash whenever I try to watch certain videos. I heard there were other instances that would have less users and less pressure on the servers, so I tried out the other public instances. One of them worked great for a couple days, now it just stopped loading videos all of a sudden. All the other instances I've tried either don't load videos, or the domain is down.

Are they cracking down on Piped now, or are all these instances just not good and you need to self-host to get anything out of Piped? Are there any other alternative frontends that you've liked?

I'm interested to hear your methods, tools, and philosophies. Do you write meticulous to-do lists? Pen-n-paper, or a favourite app? Rigorous habit building?

Whatever it is you do that keeps your life in check and gets you to do things on time, I'd love to hear it.

After a recent incident I've had with a male colleague at work this past week, I feel lost and downtrodden on how to move forward in my career. I've experienced various forms of misogyny in most roles I've held, but this has been the worst offense I've encountered. It honestly has me sick with stress and I feel so alone in how to handle it.

For context, I am often the only woman on meetings and regularly have to lead groups of all men. I've done this all throughout my career and have accepted it as a norm. While I have encountered issues in the past, never anything as egregious as what I dealt with the other day. I am often having to verify and source technical information to ensure project items are on track and this requires me to connect with various individuals. When some recent concerns were brought forward for an ongoing project, I was continually given the runaround by this male colleague. Due to days passing and the lack of cohesion for the issue of concern, I attempted to have a group discussion amongst the relevant folks.

This action sent that male colleague into an absolute rage of which I was the target. An action that I have regularly done for months without issue and is a run-of-the-mill thing for communication was misinterpreted by him. Instead he viewed it as an attack and ran to my lead to accuse me of running to higher-ups to assert he isn't doing his work properly; a completely opposite story from what I had done. This male colleague proceeded to yell at me like an abusive ex and is proceeding with excluding me out of important discussions. My lead is also male and due to this male colleague running to him first, he sided with him when I attempted to connect about how I was treated. When talking with both men to explain or try to understand their perspective, I was continually talked over, hushed, and essentially silenced into submission. I was told I am now a risk to team cohesion and that I am causing problems when I have been receiving nothing but praise from all others for my work.

I'm honestly so distraught from this experience and the lack of support from my lead. Each meeting with the male colleague that screamed at me has me on edge and I feel sick when determining how to get the answers I need for my work. Instead I am having to find a way to get placed on another project and the stress of sorting this with my company's HR. My confidence in my capabilities feels wounded and I am filled with anxiety now even when talking about topics I am familiar with. I am struggling to move past this and have the energy to find something better.

For those of you who have experienced similar misogyny in the workplace, how did you overcome incidents like these? How did you stop feeling so broken by how it affected you? I'm so worried about landing another project or job that will have these same issues and I really don't know if I can take being treated by men like this in the professional world anymore. How do you interview or gage a company to determine you won't encounter this again? I am so bitter of continually seeing men have this behavior, yet have been rewarded in their careers by being elevated to positions of authority. Any advice, sharing of wisdom, or any support would be greatly appreciated.

Hi everyone,

So, I have a DS923+ with 4GB of RAM and while it is running fine most of the time with my Docker containers, I guess everything could be more fluid (e.g. scrolling on Jellyfin while it is loading info / images).

Since the Linux OS uses free RAM as cache, I was looking to buy an extra stick of RAM. I was thinking of buying a 8GB of RAM which in total my system would then have 12 GB. Not sure if overkill, but still, I run a few containers.

I’ve actually searched on the Synology subreddit, but everyone is basically buying 16GB of RAM or maxing out the GB allowed for the RAM on the DS923+. So, that is the reason why I’m asking here.

I know that Kingston has some 8GB RAM sticks which should work with DS923+ but it seems they are blacklisted by Synology, so it seems you will always have a warning on the notification list which I wanted to avoid. :/ But on that list (see here: Ram list), it seems the 8GB RAM that Synology uses is sourced from Innodisk or Adata, so you shouldn’t get any warning there. Sadly, I can’t find them anywhere for sale. Even when I contacted the companies directly.

In conclusion, has anyone bought a 8GB ECC RAM for the DS923+ which doesn’t give a DSM warning?

Thanks everyone in advance!

Cheers!

BBC has just put out a 4 part "factual drama" based on Jimmy Savile. It is available here. Steve Coogan plays Savile. Here is the IMDB page for it.

For those who don't know, Jimmy Savile was a live dj, a radio dj, and a tv presenter. He played local dance halls, and then moved to Radio Caroline in 1958 when he was 32, and he moved to BBC TV in 1964 when he was 38. There were allegations made against him right from the start of his dj career, and as time went on these became more and more known among the public, but organisations failed to deal with them and failed to hold him to account. When he died hundreds of people came forward. After extensive police investigations police concluded he was a prolific sex offender, and probably the UK's most prolific sex offender. Wikipedia article about savile, and wikipedia article about the abuse scandal.

Coogan is a great, he's clearly a talented actor and he does pretty well here. The show heavily features a dramatic representation of Savile's biographer, Dan Davies.

The show covers Savile's entire career. It shows changing public perceptions of him, it shows him testing boundaries and getting away with minor rule breaking, it shows the manipulations of power he used to get access to girls.

But there are problems here. There are many complicated reasons why people don't report sexual abuse, and this show fails to do anything but pay minor lip service to those. Biggest for me is the focus entirely on Savile, and not the systems that enabled his abuse. Clearly he is the only person responsible for the abuse, but how did he get away with it so long, why didn't anyone stop him, why did organisations let him continue? There's a mealy-mouthed attempt to explain this, but that's a few lines of dialogue at most. This is important! The question of "How do we stop abusers?" needs a robust, evidence based, approach that doesn't stop at a shrug of the shoulders and "we dunno, he was a master manipulator". He absolutely wasn't, he was just brutally uncaring and wealthy. You come away from this show thinking that organisations were well meaning but a bit clueless, but that wasn't the case. Society just did not care about abuse enough to prevent it from happening, and we need to examine why we allowed it to happen.

Each episode starts by interview survivors, and it's good that their voice is prominent.

The TV drama Three Girls about the Rochdale Grooming scandal is better - it focuses on victims and how they were let down by the system. Or you could watch The Red Riding Trilogy one, two, and three - this is fiction, but features investigations into the Yorkshire Ripper case.

I've been writing and rewriting this to make it more formal, but I've decided to screw it because the original was raw and can probably describe my needs better than my rewrites could ever. So apologies if it doesn't fit the tone of Tildes

As of right now, I am currently not seeing anyone for my mental health. However, I'm in the process of getting help. I already have a consultation form for one and all I have to is figure out if I'm saying too much because one part ended up being like 16 paragraphs long and I don't think mental health professionals like that...

Anyways, I've been having trouble getting myself to clean. There's a gap between my bed and the wall that I put in case I ever got bedbugs (never got bedbugs in my life) and what ended up happening is various items of clothing would fall into that gap without me knowing. Which led to a whole bunch of carpet beetles suddenly flying in my room a month and a half ago.

Here's my concern: I did have a period where I found fleas in my room, and after seeing them a few times I went on a cleaning spree. Eventually my dad had to stop me because I was deep cleaning the house every single day, and when I wasn't doing that I was researching about pest control. When I wasn't able to clean I ended up researching too deeply on pest control, which led me to find out about scabies. Which led me to a delusion that I had scabies, then went straight back to my cleaning frenzy again, this time with this newfound fear that I'm infesting my family with scabies if I don't babywipe or vacuum everything.

Then one day, I started getting psychosomatic hallucinations that matched the symptoms of scabies. At night, I wouldn't be able to sleep because I would feel hundreds of bugs crawling inside my skin every time it got dark, forcing me to sleep with 3 lamps around me to mitigate the sensation. Every time I got out of a hot shower I could feel it too, but not as strongly as at night. And then when I sought out a dermatologist, because there was no way I didn't have scabies if I was going through all these symptoms, it just suddenly... stopped? Which was my biggest indicator that it wasn't scabies, because it would have never stopped if it was scabies.

It was a... bizarre experience for sure, but an impactful one. Especially now that it's been about a year since it all went down, and I've been having trouble sleeping because my room gets so stuffy. I keep my window open at all times, even when I'm too cold to sleep, just because the air is so musky and makes me feel like I'm on the edge of throwing up. I don't feel hunger in my room, and all I can think of is how there's carpet beetles in those gaps and how I will have to clean them when I get better. Because I don't want to repeat what happened last year. I don't want to clean and have these stupid carpet beetles or whatever else I find in that gap briefly take over my life like those fleas and imaginary scabies did. For the past few years I've been swinging between moments of depressive symptoms, grandiosity, and paranoia one after another and a few months ago is the first time in five years since I stopped having these back-to-back moments and I just... can't have another one again. Not until I get help.

But it has come to my attention that help might take a long time. If I need therapy, that might take months, if not years, and there's a good chance if I need medication I won't find the perfect one right away. So either I have to wait until months or years of my room rotting more and more or I clean it now. To clean knowing full well that I might relapse into another stupid paranoid episode because it was a trigger before and can be a trigger now.

I don't know. I don't know what to do. I want to clean but I don't want to trigger what I went through in the past again. I don't want to trigger anything. Any causes to my episodes I keep it in my head and make it a rule to avoid at all cost, but how do I avoid cleaning when it's impacting my physical health not to clean? I know I should get help, get treatment, but I shouldn't do anything funny while I wait for the perfect solution right? When I have the right treatment and coping mechanisms I can tackle my triggers, so best not to clean? If that's a trigger? I hate this. I just want guidance

Spotify recently increased their price, making it the same price as Apple's service. I've had Spotify since 2016 (started with the free version), and got premium in 2018 when they had the college student deal where you would get that and Hulu for only five bucks a month. I've been an off and on Premium subscriber since 2019. Only re-subscribing to it when Spotify would send me offers to sign up for three months for the price of one. This is actually the first year that I've consistently had Spotify all year since I was in college.

But now that they're the same price I was wondering if I should switch over. I don't want to get into the whole quality thing and lossless (I don't even know what that is) but I haven't been happy with Spotify's algorithm for a while. Streaming services have always been how I discovered new music, going back to me using Pandora while I was in high school. But now Spotify keeps suggesting the same songs whenever it's on smart shuffle. For example, if I play a song from the late 60s or early 70s, I know the next song Spotify plays is going to be Ain't No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell. Whenever I play an indie pop song, like a Lana Del Rey song or something, I know that the next song is going to be Borderline by Tame Impala.

I'm kind of sick of it at this point, and I feel like it's limiting the scope of what I'm listening to. I'm not sure what Apple Music's algorithm is like, I've heard mixed things with some saying it's better than Spotify and others saying it's worse.

I'm also happy taking recommendations on other things to do or try with Spotify to correct this.

I became a fan of Premier League Soccer after an epic battle with YOShInOn, my smart RSS reader. (I tried to convince it I liked American football and not the other kind of football but in the process of trying to understand why it couldn't learn the difference I changed my mind.)

There's a free Premier League game on NBC OTA TV around 12:30 PM EST and once I got hooked a Peacock subscription seemed like a good idea so I can catch games (somewhat) early on Saturday and Sunday. The university I work at has men's and women's soccer games that I go to (it was fun to go to one where youth players showed up and I felt like we were part of a huge soccer universe) and sooner or later I am going to check out the games of the college on the other hill.

I know there's Major League Soccer here in the US and I understand it's gotten better than it used to be, and I understand you can get an add-on subscription to Apple TV which has all the games. Is there anyone out there who follows MLS?

I try to post a few articles a week about the Premier League and European Soccer and I think it would be great if somebody did the same for MLS, as something interesting has to happen every gameday.

Update us on your progress so far!

• What did/didn't you get done this week?

• Anything go according to plan?

• Anything go off the rails?

• Any successes or struggles to share?

• Do you need feedback or help on anything?

This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

I’m a software engineer. Any time this topic comes up it’s clear I’m the odd one out. Recruiters will tell me “don’t worry, we’re fully remote!” but that’s not what I want to hear. Co-workers that are mandated to return to office go on a quiet rebellion to stay at home (and to be clear, I love that they are displaying the power that laborers have even without a union). But for me the quality of the work is lower when remote. Video calls suck and are emotionally draining. Collaboration is core to doing work for me. Sure I can close tickets just fine from home. But what if I’m there to wrap my head around the entire system and all of the people involved in it?

A few things I’m aware of that influence my opinion here:

• I don’t have kids
• I am comfortable asserting my free time. I take plenty of time off and typically work six hour days, never with any push back from anyone. I can usually get much more done in six hours than is asked of me
• Programming is my dream job

Thankfully I am still able to find fully in-person opportunities around me. So this is really just a matter of understanding the rest of the labor market. I don’t need to or want to change anyone’s mind here.

Every nonprofit organization I have ever worked with does some form of publicity/public relations to support their mission. Many have speakers bureaus of volunteers who give talks about what the organization is doing. Many work to get articles written about their mission and efforts.

I think more could be done to remind people and inform people of a few things about nonprofit and small scale internet sites. For example that the early internet was centered around universities not corporations and marketing, that news organizations such as NPR and the BBC provide a valuable counter perspective to corporate news organizations, that nonprofit sites including Lemmy and Kbin and Mastadon and Tildes exist, to remind people that you can add forum or blog to a search to find small scale content and more. The point would be to make the case publicly that nonprofit and small scale internet sites 1. are still possible and viable, 2. already exist (insert several examples) 3. and and should form part of a strategy to resist corporate monopolies/dominance and create more diverse conversations and communities online.

What are your thoughts? I'm curious about timing, (will there be a better future time?) about possible methods and strategies and about whether this is something some members here want to think about.

I feel like I have a basic understanding of tax credits, but nothing so far as would make the most sense in what I want to know: I'm looking into buying a new car, and it looks like I can get a 7500 tax credit for the car I'm interested in buying. My understanding is that these credits are "non-refundable" meaning I don't actually get that money back, but how does it still work? I pay into the income tax (I know, I don't want to know the benefits of doing this vs not, it's just easier for me to pay more and get some back when the time comes), so I always get a refund. Would my refund be higher then because I get a credit on the taxes that I paid in? Or would it be the same and my tax liability would be reduced?

I need someone to explain this to me like I'm 5, please!

Inspired by this comment and a need to burn off some steam during dead time in my day, I figured i'd spin off and ask what everyone else likes writing with.

I have atrocious handwriting, but have found i'm more likely to take notes if I actually enjoy what i'm writing with, and then by extension I started looking at smaller pens so I wouldn't mind carrying them on me at all times. After diving down the rabbit hole a bit over the years I've got-

Fountain Pens:

Lamy Vista-
The first one I dived into. Everyone recommended the safari, and the vista looked cooler, so I went with that. It eventually got broken, but I thought it was a great starting point. I haven't gotten any more though simply because I don't love that they use a different cartridge than the vast majority of pens, and didn't want to bother with converters.

TWSBI Eco-
My first piston fountain pen and still one of the best. I love the look, I love how it writes, I love that it's cheap so if I do screwup (like say put it through the wash 4 times over the years.....) it's not a bank breaking expense.

Kaweco liliput in fireblue -
This was my treat for not losing/breaking the Eco for a few years, and because i've got a sling I carry with me and wanted something nice to write with that fit with a notebook (there's a wallet I use for that). Much more expensive than a normal liliput but it's gorgeous and I love it.
NOTE: I linked to the nibsmith because I do think it's the only spot you should buy this pen from. They let you choose some extra options for the nib at the bottom, and for no extra charge, they'll do a "tune & smooth" pass which I've noticed helps with this pens one flaw of sometimes struggling to get it started. Not the end of the world if you're buying it for the normal $55 price and need something small, but extra unacceptable at the price point of the fancier versions.

Other Pens:

Bullet Space Pen -
I've got one in black and one in brass. They fit in the same compartment as the liliput for when I don't want to be using a fancier pen, and of course write very well, in basically any condition, and are extremely cheap for the hobby at $36.

Contrail pocket pen-
Silly expensive, but this one clips onto my wallet, which also has a notebook in it, and thus has become the pen I use the most. Writes well (and since it's a ball point you can easily change the cartridge to whatever you want), looks nice, and is quick to get open so I can take spur of the moment notes. I can use the Liliput/Bullet as well with my setup, but the liliput's screw cap is a little slow/unwieldy for those scenarios, and the bullet clip kept falling off in my pocket.

Stuff I've had my eye on:

Honestly i've found a lot of fountain/fancy pens are quite over the top/large, when I really prefer a more sleek/small look. Still one of these days i'll probably get a Vanishing point fountain pen, because I do think that's really cool, but I haven't seen too much else that's really caught my eye.

That's it for my modest collection. I'm curious to see what others have.

I just got a new phone, and I opted to download all the apps I usually use manually, rather than having them transfer over automatically. It's like a nice cleanup thing that I get to do every couple of years. I feel like I partially should just have a list somewhere of the apps I usually use and was wondering what people would download first (plus if I forgot anything)

For me, this was my process yesterday:
Password manager - Bitwarden - mostly so I can copy/paste my logins for everything
Authentication - Not listing these but ya know
VPN - MozillaVPN - just something for hostels and travelling
Browser - Firefox Beta or Nightly - for downloading my new wallpaper and general use (including Tildes!)
Sleep + Alarm - Sleep as Android
Car things - My car app, EVGo/Electrify America - getting around and things
Rideshare - Uber and Lyft - When I'm in a new city!
Food - Doordash, Grubhub, asian specific food apps - to eat when I'm lazy!
News - Boston Globe, AP News, BBC - Kinda obvious what they're here for
Todo - TickTick - Checklists and all that
Fitness - Fitbit, my smart scale app, and my gym app - general fitness stuff
Language Learning - Duolingo and Lingodeer!
Banking + Investment + Payments + Insurance - not listing these but yeah!
Music + Podcasts - Spotify
Streaming - D+, Netflix, Vudu, Peacock, Max, Movies Anywhere, Dropout, Hulu, Prime Video, Twitch - General Streaming
Books - Kindle and Audible
Messaging and Social Media - Signal, Beeper, Messenger, Discord, Slack, Instagram, etc. - just daily entertainment and connections
Games - Slay the Spire, Dead Cells, Nonograms, Don't Starve, Cards of Terra, Bloons, etc.

Bonus Q: I've been thinking of trying to add Obsidian to my general day to day, how? Might ask a question about this later though!

What is a good hat that would go with this jacket? It's a great jacket, but there's no hood. So, while the rest of my upper body stays dry, my hair gets wet. For that reason, I'm looking for something water resistant. My budget is under 100 USD.

I graduated in the spring and spent the last few months at home with family. I'm hoping to find an apartment/job in a major US city working as a legal assistant or paralegal.

I've never rented before, so I have questions, but due to circumstances related to the ones pushing me away from staying at home any longer, I don't have any parents or older siblings to ask for help, so I'm hoping to crowdsource wisdom here. I have specific questions, but also happy to hear any general advice for someone renting an apartment for the first time.

Some relevant context:

• Studio apartment is nonnegotiable. I don't know anyone I trust enough to be my roommate. If that weren't enough, I'm one of the only people still wearing a mask and trying not to get COVID, so it's gotta be a studio for me to be able to relax.
• I'm looking for a walkable neighborhood and good public transit in addition to affordability, so really looking at Chicago and Philly right now.
• I love to cook, but I know studios often have really lackluster kitchens. Hoping to find one with a usable amount of counterspace.

Those questions I had:

1. If you offer to pay a landlord the cost of the lease in full, is it typical for the landlord to waive the requirement that you provide proof of employment, or if you asked them to waive that, would they be likely to say yes? I would really like to take some time off, and coming home was intended to be that, but toxic family means I've just been stressed the whole time, so being able to get a place without needing a job right off the bat would be a fantastic setup to make sure this new start goes well. (If I save up part-time earnings for the next 2-3 months, I'll have enough to pay a lease on a $1200 studio in full, furnish it with the necessities, and feed myself.)

2. Recently I realized that when apartments are listed as unfurnished, that means no bed or mattress either. (I kind of see now why futons are a thing.) How do people usually address this issue? Do you buy a mattress and bed frame with the expectation that you'll take it with you whenever you move out to the next apartment?

3. Since I don't live in the city I'll be moving to, I most likely won't be able to see the apartment in person before committing. Any particular ideas on how I could handle this or what I should be wary of? I've heard of services where you can pay someone to show up to a tour and video call you so you can follow along (https://www.gandertour.com/). $50 doesn't seem too steep, but I don't know if that specific service is trustworthy, or if there's a cheaper or simpler way to deal with this.

Those are my questions, and like I said above, any advice not 100% related to these questions is welcome too!

I remembered that thread asking about the update to Cyberpunk 2077, and figured after finishing the expansion I'd offer what I've got. I played the game once on release prior to playing now.

The tl;dr - its a hell of a lot better, can totally recommend it, expansion was cool and fun

The long:

First, regarding the update. It's excellent. The game does feel significantly better to play, because a whole lot less is bugging the hell out. You do occasionally come across some silliness, like four of the same car all at an intersection, or the same child populating a cafeteria. But these moments are far, far less frequent, I think I can count on one hand after 50 hours, the number of times stuff like that happened.

Wanted system is functional now. It just works the way you'd expect, and it is pretty easy to escape. More lawless parts of town are appropriately easier to get away with shit in. Driving feels better but still feels weird to me, like everything is slippery/wheels never have good traction.

The skills/perks/inventory stuff is a thousand times better. It has a few weird things here and there but is easier to follow and use. It's nice not having to really mess around with clothes and just look however I want. Combat is a lot more fun now that stuff behaves appropriately. That's really the theme of it, they did fix what needed fixing, and what we're left with much more closely aligns with folks' original expectations.

Quests wrap up and sometimes into one another in ways which are genuinely very impressive, and I encountered all of one that had an issue with it. I pretty much constantly went from quest to quest and found there was enough variety that I didn't really care about wandering much. I still did, and that is all much improved too. Npcs behave a lot better and look nicer, and jobs consistently finish up the way they're supposed to.

I specialized in blades, pistols, and shotguns, and played on Normal, mostly on my steam deck. I mostly raised Reflexes, Technical Ability, and Cool. I got to turn into a Dragonball ninja assassin, occasionally dualing Japanese cyborg women with katanas in the street. I'd get into shit because melee is genuinely pretty fun to mess with.

The visuals are awesome even on the handheld, the preset for the deck is higher than I expected. Performance was consistently good, on the deck as well as my PC. PC can go maximum and is using a 144hz display, it looks really really good with everything pushed.

The expansion:

It fits squarely within the best of what the game offers. The storyline is complex and goes into the rest of the world in an impressive way, it's like it's always been there. The characters are exceptionally well done, as is the voice acting. The whole thing felt like a great season of a good show, it kinda proceeds like that too.

Dogtown is a really cool area. The detail is wild and sense of place really some of the strongest in the game. I felt uneasy at night in the rain, that's always cool for a game to evoke. It feels both like it's own independent spot and like a part of the city, they really nailed it with how it looks and what's available there.

Conclusion:

The complete package I'd say is totally worth it. Compared to release it is a completely different game. Feels like a much more realized vision, that consistently hits some pretty high notes. Panam is still the coolest, but Songbird was a really well done character too. With the game not being a flaming wreck, it's way easier to get into the storytelling, and it is pretty great for this medium. Especially those major characters, they're interestingly complicated and don't always behave how you'd expect. The overall experience is kinda like being a protagonist in a tv show, quests have their own arcs and climaxes and characters appear distinctly changed by the events as they unfold. That was always there, but now I'm comfortable saying you'll actually have that experience playing it.

Looking to get a new chair; something better than my previous chair which was some Chinese product I got off Amazon that I thought might be pretty good, but ended up breaking in less than two years. I've experienced pain problems from chairs, in the legs, and the elbows (from arm rests). Avoiding those problems will be a must from my new chair.

Update: I made a purchase. Details in this comment.

I would take recommendations for either a specific model, or just a brand/manufacturer. Would love to hear stories from people, especially as it relates to sturdiness and longevity.

Desired qualities:

• Around 200-250 USD, but there's wiggle room here. (Update: I'm strongly considering bumping this price range up. It occurred to me: I will be in this thing for longer per day than I am in my bed, and I didn't skimp on my bed.)
• Good ergonomics; good for posture, health; not lead to sitting-related pains, etc.
• good for use 10+ hours a day
• very comfortable seat cushion (not hard, nothing digging into thighs, etc.)
• wheels / casters
• something that would last 3+ years
• 2+ year warranty
• adjustability of at least the seat elevation

Nice to have:

• liftable or removable armrests, because these tend to just hit my desk or other things
• 3+ year warranty
• lots of adjustability, to be able to zero in on the perfect fit for me
• wheels / casters good for carpet, too

So far, I've read good things about the Branch brand, but the model I'm eyeing (the "Branch Ergonomic Chair") is a bit out of my price range (though I've been talking myself into it).

I am realizing as I age that when I’m feeling unwell in some kind of way, I cannot be comforted by others.

I have friends and family and sometimes a romantic partner who try to comfort me, and while I am thankful for their support, I never feel comforted. I know what doesn’t work but I cannot provide them with what I want or need because I don’t know what I want or need to feel comforted.

So, how do you get emotional or mental comfort from others?

Edit - I wanted to start a conversation about how you (the reader) feel comfort from others. Thank everyone so much for the tips for me, but that was very much not the point and I can see now how that was unclear. Thanks again, everyone!

To the powers that be: if there is better phrasing, please help me out with the title.

What do you guys do to really listen to music in a mindful manner?

I don't do streaming, but I have a really big collection of albums in digital format, but the way I listen to music is to just shuffle everything and listen while doing other things.

I was contemplating entering the vinyl hobby, but living in Brazil this gets extremely expensive just to start. This would allow me to bring back the "ritualistic" aspect of listening to music and have good equipment to focus on what's being played.

I guess I could just force myself to not pirate music and buy an album a month on bandcamp. That would at least assure that I have good quality flac files instead of trusting random people on soulseek, but in the end it would probably end up in the shuffle pile.

Do you guys do something to try to be mindful of the music you are listening?

I happen to be in possession of a 2013 MacBook Pro that runs macOS 11 Big Sur and it's decent for that.

Let's say I wanted to run the latest apps and macOS on it, things that don't work on Big Sur. I know there are unofficial ways to get those on the MacBook, OpenCore Legacy Patcher is what most articles recommend that I've seen.

Has anyone here tried that, and were there any big problems with that setup? Were there any broken apps or features after upgrading? Did everything become slower?

Recent article How can I get my engineers to accept being on call? sparkled some discussion, so I was become very curious.

If you can choose between working without any on-call duties or working where every second/third day you will be 24h on-call, what compansetion will make you accept second options?

Im in my early middle ages, and personally, I think

It was an interesting race with tire strategy, given that Pirelli and the FIA imposed an 18-lap max on all tires, even used one, for safety reasons.

F1 heads to the US in two weeks for COTA (Oct 20-22). Hopefully the drivers and teams get a bit of a break from such a grueling race. See you all there!

I'm curious about people's thoughts/opinions on how a vet (or someone offering a pet service) should interact with a dog. It seems as though people have wide ranging and shifting opinions about how dogs should be interacted with and how they interpret the dog's behavior. Some people are extremely sensitive about their dog's mental well being. They do acupuncture and meditation exercises with their dog, speak about the dog's mental health and choose vets that take a very non-threatening and holistic approach to dealing with dogs.

On the flip side is the vet that, although kind and somewhat sensitive, takes a more treatment focused approach and are more direct (the "gentle but firm" approach). Although the dog may be nervous and scared, IME that's pretty common for many dogs. This more direct vet would acknowledge the nervousness but still do what they need to do, often saying "I know you don't like this buddy, but we've gotta do this".

I'm curious what people's thoughts are on this. I'm asking about this because I had an experience at a vet that took a more sensitive approach. And while I appreciate that, my dog was sick and needed treatment. Because of this sensitive technique, the vet didn't examine my dog. He did the "let the dog come to me" approach, which, heh, doesn't really work when you have a sick dog that needs a diagnosis and treatment. You kinda HAVE to put your hands on the dog, feel their vitals, chest, check for lumps, etc. The vet also did the "don't make eye contact" approach, which, heh, means you also aren't looking at my dog to see what their issue looks like. Basically the vet crouched down in the corner of the room, didn't look at my dog and didn't touch her. Because I'm very cuddly with dogs, my dog took his behavior as being uninterested and ignored him. When the vet pointed to her ears and said they were laying down because she felt threatened, I corrected him and said her ears were down because she was being submissive (she was calm, sitting with her ears relaxed, not flattened down against her head). I was getting frustrated because I just wanted my dog examined and treated. I'm fine with my dog being uncomfortable during a wellness exam because that's just the way it goes, even for humans! I do want a vet to be somewhat sensitive but firmness and directness can be done sensitively. Idk if it's because I'm older and have an older mentality about this. I grew up watching vets kinda manhandle dogs and saying "they're dogs, they're fine, don't worry so much". I don't treat dogs like hunting dogs (that's just too harsh imo) but I acknowledge that dogs are tougher than we think sometimes.

What are your thoughts and/or opinions on this?

(This is my first post, so please do add tags or tell me if I've missed anything. Thanks!)

I opened up the Google Earth app on my phone wanting to browse random beautiful and interesting places, but it doesn't seem to have a good way to do it. (Maybe this is a limitation on the mobile app, and the desktop app is better?)

For example, if I try searching for "wetlands", it only shows me a list of maybe 10 places near my current location.

I tried searching the web too, but I mostly get "listicles" like "10 amazing places on Google Earth" but they're practically unreadable with the webpage being covered with ads.

I found Earth View Gallery https://blog.google/products/earth/most-stunning-images-from-google-earth/ and it's nice but it's just a gallery of images with no contextual information (at least when viewing on mobile). It shows me beautiful pictures but no information about where the picture is from... I would have expected it to link to the spot on Google Earth.

Anyway if you happen to have some recommended places for me to check out on Google Earth I'd love to see them! I like:

• wetland-type habitats like marshes, pond systems, mangrove swamps
• beautiful natural scenery in general
• abandoned and/or ancient architecture

But open to any interesting recommendations in general.

Edit: It does seem to be slightly better on desktop. Searching on Google Earth works better, and Earth View Gallery does link to the location on Google Earth. I wish Google Earth had like, a built-in community feature for me to check out other people's public projects.

I have a Pixel 4a which has just reached end of support for Android. However, I love this phone and the only hardware issue is that the battery doesn't last me scrolling social media all day, so I am not looking to upgrade to a newer handheld just yet.

I've been looking into Graphene OS and Lineage OS as perhaps alternatives I should consider, at least just so I can keep getting security updates. However, looking through GOS, they say that their 4a build is an "extended support" build different from the main OS which is described as a "stopgap" before upgrading phones. LOS says it's supported but through an automatically generated page which doesn't leave me with much confidence about the attention and stability of the build on my particular phone.

I'm asking y'all's opinion on whether I should even bother. Security upgrades are important, but my phone is a secondary device at best, one which I always use with the same apps and websites and honestly not really that much of a security risk. Watch hubris get me.

I have a quandary. Even with a decent android keyboard (Typewise offline keyboard), I still find myself hampered by gettingnanstringnofnwordsnwhereni miss the space bar. Sometimes I miss n "A" key. I am very out put by my likelihood of getting "out" when I meant "put" and vice versa.

I am becoming a part time worker / primary parent while my wife goes back to a full time job, which means I do a lot of waiting in places where I'm typing extended sections of text (like this one) in places where its not really practical or appropriate to pull out a laptop.

What I really want is a physical keyboard for my phone. It seems like there are a lot of folding and non-folding options that are meant to work on a table with the phone as a screen. But if I could do that, I could pull out my laptop.

If I had a wish that could get me anything, I'd like a split thumb keyboard where the two halves sandwich (and grip) the phone the way the joycons go on a Nintendo switch.

The best thing I have found so far is this keyboard puck. I have bought a similar device for HTPC, and it is surprisingly easy to use. This still has the downside of requiring the use of with hands and not having a way to hold the phone. Maybe I could 3D print some kind of mount, but something with a built-in mount would be much better.

I'm wondering how others have solved this problem? I'm open to almost anything that makes me a faster /more accurate typist on the go.

So here's my situation and what I'm trying to prepare for. My mom is currently sick (we think it's an infection), and last night she fell and threw up, scared me half to death. She says she's fine(ish) now, and we're waiting on test results. It got me thinking how she said I'll inherit her Siamese cat breeding business and it got me thinking a lot about it.

I'm wanting to divide what is currently a purely aesthetic room so the queens can have more room for their kittens who then won't get to hide under/in the couch (yes, inside the couch, because they tore holes in the fabric underneath it, apparently) whenever I try to show them to customers.

I want to divide my dining room from the entry way, where the front door leads into the living room, so the cats don't escape out the front door. Imagine a hallway (12 to 14 feet long) from the front door to the living room (and it's a double wide doorless doorway connecting it to the living room), but one wall of the hallway doesn't exist, and instead opens fully into the dining area. I haven't measured yet, but I'm estimating it's around 12 to 14 feet across, and 9 or 10 feet tall.

I'd like to use something budget friendly (ofc), like plexiglass, acrylic, resin, whatever. Something fully see through (or as see through as possible) so the customers can see them immediately. Proper glass will need a whole installation process and will add to the cost. Also, I'll want to add a door to this new "window wall" so the customers and I can walk in and out, and preferably have it be a sliding door, since I think this is the option that will be the least likely to pinch a kitten.

My dad suggested a garage screen door, with magnetic closing, made of fiber glass mesh, but I can already tell the cats will eventually tear it up and make it look ratty, and also slip out from under it most likely.

We can't use normal room dividers because our cats can sometimes jump from the floor to the top of the fridge, and room dividers are too flimsy. Also I'm not sure how to fasten a door to them (maybe I could just open them, but idk).

I've also half-way crossed any meshes, cages, or fencing off my option list because it looks ratty imo. Btw when I say "ratty" I mean it will make me look like some backyard breeder or someone who doesn't care about her cats. I don't want my kittens to look like inmates lol. But cages/metal bars are a last resort, because I need something, as right now my mom has them set up in what I personally consider to be cages that are far too small to keep the mother cat in 24/7 for 2 to 4 weeks. The mother cat can just about lay down once you have to put the litterbox in. (It's the vertical one with the 3 tier platforms, with wheels and a bottom tray that you can find on amazon)

I've looked all over amazon, just window (lol) shopping/browsing for ideas on what I could use, and omg. Either inflation is horrible, or I'm severely out of touch with what a "budget" option for this project would be.

I've even gone so far as to consult ChatGPT, who was not really that helpful.

A list of things I've thought about already are:
-Garage screen doors (cats will eventually scratch through and slip under)
-Sliding barn doors (for the end of the entry way that leads into the living room, instead of dividing the dining room, but this would give the kittens and queens access to the front door when people go in and out)

• Those DIY metal grid panels people use to build storage furniture (ratty looking, and kind of expensive, but is my last resort as it seems to be the cheapest option I think)
• Ordering a proper glass window wall (this would have to be properly installed into the house, which would cost too much)
• Normal room dividers (too flimsy, too short, no door option)
• Chain link fence segments (definitely ratty looking)
• Decorative metal/PVC room divider modular panels that hang from the ceiling (I can't seem to find a version that has ample visibility without giant holes the kittens could slip through)
• Just building a bigger cage (more expensive than just building a wall out of the panels, and again, it's ratty looking)
• Using clear acrylic modular panels with holes in the corners, chained/tied together to hang from the ceiling (it's an option, but I'm not sure if it's the best in terms of aesthetics & cost, and idk how to attach a door that way)
• 3D printed prefab wall panels (not see through, and idk if/how I'd fit a door on it)
• Prefab floor to ceiling windows (expensive, heavy, needs proper installation I think)
• A clear, plastic tent piece, large enough for a patio (that would also look bad, since it's shiny and most likely will get scratched up)

I may be forgetting some options that I considered already, but I'm a complete novice at construction and home improvement, so I figured you guys probably know something I don't. I need a true barrier, that is preferably as clear as possible.

Even if you think your idea isn't all that good, suggest it anyway because I might be able to springboard off of it. This includes ideas relating to stuff I've thought of already.

Update us on your progress so far!

• What did/didn't you get done this week?

• Anything go according to plan?

• Anything go off the rails?

• Any successes or struggles to share?

• Do you need feedback or help on anything?

This is your topic to share anything and everything you want about what you’ve made so far.

my old regular app has been dead since it got underwent featurecreep and got bought out by underarmour.

lots of apps now have way too many features.. social this, calorie burning that. i know its probably a good thing for them to branch out but i'm one of those luddites that prefer simple and to-the-point apps with no social features, no account needed, etc.

all i really need from the app is gps distance tracking and a clean interface with some basic readouts for pace and whatnot. having audio readouts for pace every kilometer was a nice feature but ideally the app would be simpler than that.

if all else fails i know i can just fallback on one of those 'full featured' apps like strava but i figured i'd ask here before i got too tied into any particular app (creature of habit)

I love fried chicken sandwiches. I have loads of fast food options as well as one off restaurants around me that offer fried chicken sandwiches, some that it is their claim to fame. It doesn’t seem to matter where I go in search of the best fried chicken sandwiches, or how much money I spend, Popeyes is always the best.

Two topics to start discussion:

1. What is your favourite fried chicken place where you live? Bonus points if you live around Vancouver, BC, Canada and can introduce me to a new favourite chicken place.

2. What does Popeyes do to get such consistency across all locations, and why the heck is it so good?

Here's a first world problem: I work remote and sometimes I get bored during meetings. Wondering if you guys had any game recommendations for games I can play on a second monitor or something while I kill boredom in my meetings. Mouse only is probably the biggest requirement, and also something more "turn based" so if I need to I can still pay attention to the parts that I need to.

Some of my recommendations:
Slay the Spire (+ Downfall) - I "beat" all of it (A20H for all characters) so I wanted to take a break, but I loved it.
Monster Train - I didn't get into it as much as StS tbh, it's fineeee but not my personal favorite
Super Auto Pets - I'm not really an Autobattler kinda guy but the slow pace and the rotating sets make this game kinda perfect for what I'm looking for!
Brotato - I've been playing mouse only, but can't really stop it in the middle of an intense run tbh.

Steam or Android games if possible!

I'm in the market for a set of dishes. The consensus is:

• Corelle - lightweight and solid
• Fiestaware - built to last

I'm not a fan of either unfortunately. Not because these brands are bad, but I'm looking for a particular look. Something akin to stoneware with a darker color. I also prefer heavier dishes. Unfortunately stoneware is known (or said) to chip easily. I'm not looking for something that will survive being dropped (I don't remember the last time I dropped a plate). This is the first selling point that gets brought up I've noticed.

What did you choose and what has been your experience? Has your stoneware chipped after washing & stacking?

EDIT
I forgot to provide more details about my situation to help with recommendations.

• I'm in the US
• No family/single, but plan to host for a small group on an occasion (~4 people)
• I'm starting from scratch and would like a set that works in all situations + everyday use. I'm willing to splurge (assuming it's quality and lasts).

I signed up for a class from Udemy. Udemy makes tech classes you take at your own pace. The lessons are many short videos with lectures and some practical exercises.

I signed up for a class that will prepare me to take a certification class for a skill that will help my resume. Complete worth it.

I am about 2/3 done.

The thing is I've getting frustrated and mentally run down.

The course is voluminous. The going is slow.

I know the thing to do is to forget about finishing, forget about the results, and just focus on enjoying each lesson in the hear and now.

I enjoy taking notes, I am good at it, and I find reviewing notes to be soothing/meditative.

I still get frustrated and demoralized.

Worse, I always thought if I got a lot of time to learn something I would sit down at it 8 hours a day and blow it away. I get wiped out at about 3-4 hours. I'm kicking myself for this which isn't helping.

Any advice, commiseration, or success stories?

Our extended family lives in the same city and we're always getting together (brother/sisters-in-laws, their kids). So basically our generation and our kids. Probably 13-15 of us.

We meet maybe once or twice a month, but whenever we meet, kids just go do kids things, dads go over here, moms go over there. One of the dads invariably falls asleep, one or two of the kids kind of mull about not quite fitting in here or there.

I was wondering if any of you had any ideas for something that can be done together that might help build memories or at least structure some time so that there's meaningful interaction and we can get to know each other better instead of defaulting to whatever is least effort.

The only constraint is that is has to be that it's an in-home, indoor activity suitable for teens/pre-teens.