It is easy to feel helpless at times. As if there is nothing you can do to impact the "greater good." Many of us currently feel rather helpless in relation to politics, but there are many other reasons for this as well.

One argument I hold against this helplessness is the Butterfly Effect, which (in this context) proposes that even the smallest action can significantly alter the future.

An example could be giving encouragement to someone about to give up on a task (even if you aren't aware of it), which keeps them on a trajectory they would have otherwise never continued.

Have you been fortunate enough to identify when this has happened around you?

Of course, there could be negative outcomes related to this too, but I hope we can identify some positive ones.

(Meta note: I was debating if this should be under ~talk or ~life and went with ~life, but feel free to move it if you disagree.)

Sometimes, after I get home from work, I have a surprisingly strong urge to not be wearing socks. Like, my feet themselves YEARN to be free of their cotton confines!

I have no idea how or why this happens, only that it does sometimes. I also don't really have a name for it -- or even an easy way to put it into words. It feels similar to how restless leg syndrome manifests for me, only instead of the compulsion to move my feet, it's a compulsion to not be stuck in socks.

What feelings do you have that aren't really nameable/describable? Do your best to put them into words in whatever way you can!

"Feelings" can be anything -- physical or emotional.

I recently just restarted my monthly donation to the ACLU because.... well... ya know. I was wondering what other people donate to regularly and why! I hope this isn't a contentious topic or anything, I do think that what you decide to donate to does really show what you care about in this capitalistic society.

Other organizations I've donated to within the last year (not regularly though sadly) include Planned Parenthood, Doctors Without Borders, and the Signal Foundation, and I also donate to the Boston Greater Food Bank.

Specifically low-stakes.

I’m sure many of us have been having more than our our fill of high-stakes stuff recently.

Think: minor, inconsequential, petty, mundane, etc.

Your “circles” can be home, work, school, friends, gym, library, grocery store, Discord server — anything really.

I know most here are US-based, but I thought I'd give this a shot.

I've been running a pretty straightforward ETF portfolio through Ergo in Germany for a while now. Here's my current breakdown:

• 25% in iShares MSCI EM IMI ESG Screen UCITS ETF
• 25% in iShares MSCI Europe ESG Enhanced UCITS ETF
• 50% in iShares MSCI World SRI UCITS ETF EUR

I've recently freed up an extra €500 monthly that I'm looking to invest and am wondering if it would make sense to just bump up my monthly contribution from €1,000 to €1,500 while keeping the same allocation percentages, or should I consider doing something different with this extra cash?

For context, I've got my emergency fund covered (one year's expenses) and no debt to worry about.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

My thoughts on the show

An overarching theme of the show is that we aren’t very good at naming our emotions when we’re feeling them and that it’s important to learn the vocabulary for our emotions and call them by their right names.

Call stress stress, not overwhelm. (Are you “in the weeds” or “blown”?)

Call vulnerability vulnerability, not anxiety.

Call awe and wonder awe and wonder.

When we name what we’re feeling, we open up so much more agency and freedom to guide our lives in the direction we want them to go. Language is a portal.

I found this show moving and illuminating when I first watched it in 2022 and it was moving and illuminating all over again when I rewatched it over the past few days.

Awe and wonder are two of the emotions that stick out to me. These are not words I used regularly before watching the show. I use them now. I think I used to believe these emotions were nice to feel and a good part of life, but kind of like the icing on the cake. I have come to see them as necessary nutrients in the human emotional diet, more core and more central than I thought before.

Maybe we can’t feel awe and wonder very often, but maybe like the elephants who walk long distances to lick the salt off cave walls, it’s something we need in our diet and should go out of our way to feel.

I have a copy of Brené Brown’s book Atlas of the Heart, which the TV series is based on, and it mentioned that, among other things, experiences of awe and wonder make people more willing to cooperate with each other. Doesn’t that sound like something we need in this world?

Where to watch

Brené Brown: Atlas of the Heart is streaming on HBO Max in the U.S. and parts of Europe and Latin America, on Crave in Canada, on Binge in Australia, and on Sky in New Zealand.

HBO Max: https://www.max.com/shows/brene-brown-atlas-of-the-heart/dfad262e-b764-4b92-ae63-72886f8a0d81

Crave: https://www.crave.ca/en/tv-shows/brene-brown-atlas-of-the-heart

List of countries and streaming services where the show is available: https://brenebrown.com/find-the-series-outside-of-the-us/

JustWatch, a generally useful tool for this sort of thing: https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Ajustwatch.com+Brené+Brown+Atlas+of+the+Heart

Conversations about finding and losing love are everywhere. Which is no suprise, when people are swimming in new love drugs they want to talk about it. Likewise when they're drowning in loss or trying to navigate relationship troubles. And they're interesting conversations to have because almost everyone can relate. Love and relationships are at the core of the human experience.

But so are relationships that last. Love that keeps working in spite of the constant drag of, sometimes mundane, everyday life. High functioning love.

It's quieter, less interesting for uninvested parties and more difficult to articulate in a simple, accessible way without sounding boring or cliche. Which is maybe why it gets talked about less. It's not that it doesn't have all the hallmarks of a good adventure. There are highs and lows, challenges that seem impossible in the darkest moments, unexpected redemption, soaring elation. It's often exciting when you're in it. But more often by volume, if somewhat less in memory, are small moments of shared joy, companionable silences, ambivalence, soft landings on hard days and endless personal growth to support the happiness of another human. Or maybe more accurately to support the health of this third space you've created together.

There's also shared identity, which amounts to the expansion of your idea of self. There are the sorts of moments in life which no one can really understand if they weren't there without the help of especially inspired poetry. And, most of the time, there's this other person who was, in fact, there. No explanations needed. More than that, they bring different context and add different perspectives to the experience that become a part of your own.

There are the moments when you face the reality of impermanence, mortality and futility and the way that somehow having this warm, breathing second witness takes the edge off the howling chaos at the edges of civilized existence. It makes it easier to accept the process of life and death in ways that are difficult to articulate. It's sort of a non sequitur but something that comes to mind is the way that curling up by a fire on a stormy night is somehow more cozy than if it was tropical out and you didn't need a blanket at all.

I could go on, but my goal wasn't really to talk about my ideas about love. I'm hoping other tildinians will be excited to talk about their experiences with, and thoughts about, love that lasts. That could mean your own relationship(s) or it could mean general musings. Whatever comes to mind.

Equal space for the parts that are good and bad. There are usually two people involved but there's nothing binary about it. It's all nuance.

Or, let’s be honest, firstly as a novelty. I don't know anyone else personally who has bought, or would buy, a copy. I figured it would be interesting to see what it was like.

My wife and I stopped on Valentine’s day to buy a copy, and I think we were both surprised by the print. I knew Playboy magazines produced some notable interviews in the past, but a dozen important conversations over several decades isn’t exactly going to outweigh the sea of photographs they’re known for. The new edition was a surprising $20 in-person. It felt like a bit of a gamble, but I think it was worth it.

By the numbers, it’s ~125 pages long and features 3 pictorial photoshoots. Beyond a few pages of photos, the rest is basically all writing. There are a few ads, but nothing like the volume of ads in other magazines I’ve read recently. I figured the magazine would be full of risqué photos, but it’s more of a tasteful inclusion alongside other, more substantial discussion. It is essentially all writing, and it’s good writing.

From the outset, the Editor’s Letter (Mike Guy) sets the tone of the new printing:

Five years have passed since an issue of Playboy rolled off a printing press, and they have been strange years indeed. We’ve passed through the wreckage of a pandemic, sat on a violent political see-saw, and watched as discourse shrinks to tiny digital moments that explode into divisive range at precisely the time we need reason. Just as Playboy was frustrated with the conservative norms of the ‘50s, we want to challenge them now, too. This can mean just showing up, listening; it can mean choosing connecting and pleasure over sensation and isolation. It means rejecting poisonous, meme-driven narratives, as writer Magdalene Taylor urges in “The Rise of the Beta Male” …, her disturbing report from the front lines of our emerging dystopia about young men who have given up on sex. … The internet - OnlyFans, TikTok, and the rest - has stolen sexuality and fed it into the meat grinder of the attention economy. We’re doing our part to steal it back. As the poet Wallace Stevens wrote, “The greatest poverty is not to live in the physical world.”

I didn’t anticipate an article detailing a first-person investigation into the rise of anti-semitism, or an article about a far-out apocalyptic billionaire party, nor did I expect a humorous memoir about the rise of Nashville as the bachelorette party destination. But, these were funny, interesting pieces that spurred much discussion in my house. My wife and I have taken turns reading these long-form articles aloud each night. The article on an ultra-exclusive sex party in LA fell inline with the sort of topics I expected, but the writing and description of a beautiful spectacle made us pause and say, “that actually sounds like a fun time.”

It turns out you really can read Playboy for the articles, and more importantly resonate on the value of re-engaging human connection, disarming hate, building up our communities, and challenging our preconceived notions.

For as long as I can remember, I've been unnerved by passive infrared motion detectors. You know the ones, those that have a milky-white lens and on occasion blink red when they detect motion. They're absolutely terrifying to me and I don't know why.

I got a few other strangely specific phobias as well - I hate bathroom extractor fans, specifically in bathrooms with high ceilings (which are very common here in Europe), I can't bear to be near industrial light signals even if they're off, and when I recently went to the US, the absolute ubiquity of emergency battery backup light fixtures paralysed me in more than one building. My worst irrational fear is that of horn-style speakers, especially in public spaces or industrial settings, and in those, especially those that fire downwards. (Incidentally, sirens on emergency vehicles, even when they suddenly go off, never triggered this phobia)

So apart from my weird damage, I have to wonder - what are some of your weird uncommon phobias? I don't mean stuff like a fear of needles or spiders, those are quite common and well documented, but something truly odd you can't make sense of and you kind of know should not be able to scare or disgust you.

My partner and I have friends from China, and they pushed us to watch Ne Zha 2, the animated movie produced over there. It's pronounced "nuh zah" by the way. We had no idea what the fuss was about, and we were skeptical since it has literally no marketing in the US, and we hadn't seen the first movie either. All we heard is that it's insanely popular in China, and making records in the domestic box office there.

Now, I can say I was honestly blown away. It's like, ruined other animated movies for me, for a while. Again, I had no expectations going in, and the first ten minutes of the movie, I thought this was not the movie for me, it looked like a kids' movie, I was almost rolling my eyes in the beginning of the movie tbh.

We didn't look at any clips on the Internet beforehand, and I'm glad, because they would not do the movie justice!

What got me, I think it was the visuals, the nonstop action that looks like it was made with an insane budget, and animators working way beyond healthy hours to produce. Oh, and the sound production with the deep bass, so I could feel every impact, I have to thank the theater for that lol. I didn't even know it was an action movie, so it caught me off guard just how many scenes they crammed in there! Once it started, it really felt almost nonstop, no time to breathe like most movies would do

The story is actually good too, and there are definitely parts where people could cry

I'm also not used to seeing much of Chinese fantasy settings, so that part was entertaining for me. I don't know how much was out of the director's imagination, or coming from Chinese mythology, or Chinese video games, it all came together so well though

If you like action, and fantasy, and animation or video games, and are okay reading subtitles, please do yourself a favor, watch this one!

Disclaimer: I'm a US citizen, I'm not affiliated with Chinese media, I'm not a marketer, I really genuinely loved the movie

“Your area” is intentionally vague and could be:

• Your community
• Your town/city
• Your region
• Your state
• Your country
• Your area of the world
• Your career
• Your area of study
• Your expertise
• Your interest
• Your hobby
• Your generation
• Your identity
• Your language
• etc.

Basically, it’s something that is specific to you, but that you think still would be interesting to people outside of “your area.”

Both fiction and nonfiction alike are valid. Also, be sure to explain why you think the book has appeal beyond its range.

I was talking to the other guitarist in one of my bands about the hedonic treadmill the other day. And he said to me that despite owning his swanky Range Rover for over 4 years, every time he gets in it he feels like a kid and is excited by it.

I think continued delight in the things that we already have is a really important attitude to take in life, and so I wondered what things my fellow Tilderen (yes, I'm refusing to budge on the nomenclature until I see at least one other person use it) have which they still feel the magic of owning, even after a long time.

Homeland - 5/10

First paragraph works as both the tldr as well as the beginning of the review.

This show is all over the place. Some parts are really good, some parts are really bad, most parts are just meh. This show lends itself to be picked apart too easily. There are plot holes, convenient coincidences, contrived nonsense, and so often intelligent characters behaving like idiots over and over again which leaves you wanting to yell at the screen. So many eyeroll moments, cheesy stuff, questionable story writing, a lot of times that they tell, not show - it should be show, don't tell of course - and that classic trope that everything would have been solved if they just talked to each other, and another about just doing one single simple thing instead of getting distracted for dumb reasons. It is also pretty unrealistic despite trying to appear grounded. A lot of this show is too reminiscent of Jason Statham movies, if that makes sense. However I was entertained enough by it to keep watching, and it worked fine to pass the time when I was bored. Despite never really getting all that into the show as a whole, the good parts or episodes were worth the wait.

Family drama in this show was not good. It was just kind of something you had to sit through to get to those good parts. Monica Baccarin was fine and Damian Lewis was incredible, but I really just didn't care all that much about their relationship nor their children. It's a show that is being sold as an action spy thriller, but too large a part of it is this sort of more or less regular drama. It reminds me of The Americans where you of course don't watch it for the family stuff with the children, but because they were super cool undercover Soviet spies. This type of show's biggest weakness is this stuff. It just acts as filler and drags things out unnecessarily. And this goes for the main character's family too. The relationship with the sister was alright, but when the main character gets a daughter? Just kind of felt like a waste of time.

Most characters are pretty run-of-the-mill spy show stereotypes. Not great, not terrible. The main character, Carrie, was quite unique with a lot of depth, but she ends up going through way too many unbelievable situations. She and her tiny team, or even she all alone, saves the world half a dozen times. Her character at best decent, and that was only in the first few seasons. But then she goes completely down the drain and off the rails in season 4 and never recovered. I am probably in the minority with this opinion but I can't imagine most people see it this way since it's the star of a show that ran for 8 seasons so I guess take this opinion with a grain of salt.. but she just does not land for me after seasons 1-3.

She is highly unlikable. She is one of the worst mothers I have ever seen in any show or movie. She is very neglectful and abusive mother, she is also a mass murderer who practically never repents or regrets what she has done, she disobeys orders constantly, mostly making things worse, she uses people all the time, and she has such a massive victim complex so 90% of the time she blames someone else for her often fatal fuckups - of which there are a lot. By far the biggest problem with all this is that it is quite clear that the creators of the show want the audience to sympathize with her and are trying to pass her off as the reluctant hero. She was never that good a character, nor do I think actor Claire Danes is very good in the role - just alright. However season 4 and onwards she just in no way works. Just impossible to root for, which is of course a big problem when it's the main character. She's not a cool antihero, it just became a chore to watch her scenes. The best summation is something Saul said to her in season 2: "You're the smartest and the dumbest fuckin' person I've ever known." Characters that are supposed to be intelligent who then do such truly dumb things.. characters are only as smart as their writers. So it's just bad writing.

On a more positive note, there are a few characters I really liked: Astrid, Quinn, Saul, Max. Astrid was not in the show very much but she was great as the German spy counterpart in the BND. She just had a way about her and I felt the relationship she had with Quinn was quite interesting. She was a joy to watch, just like Quinn, played by Rupert Friend whom I recently saw in Hitman: Agent 47 which was an awful movie, so I was kind of nervous when he first appeared here in Homeland. Turns out though that he was just horribly miscast in the former because in this show, he is great! There's no nonsense with him, it's the "competency porn" feeling while watching him. Same goes for Saul and Max. Saul's actor Mandy Patinkin (who also played Inigo Montaya, couldn't believe it when I looked him up lol) steals most scenes he's in. He is great as the older, experienced spy, the mentor for our main character. His voice is both soothing and dramatic to listen to and even though half his face is invisible because of his huge beard, he still has such good expressions and body language that he really draws you in. As for Max, he was a very minor character to begin with but his role became bigger towards the final two seasons and like I said, it was a joy to watch him on screen and great that he was given more screentime.

Not much of a joy however was all the nonsense that they had to implement in order to make the show work - they took the easy route to explain things away instead of actually implementing them well. For example they practically never have surveillance drones or satellites available, nor nightvision or thermal cameras, so they constantly lose track of people that they are following. Nor do they have much more than pistols most of the time. The agency does have these things available, and more, so it's just dumb that they pretend it doesn't exist in this show - some special ops guys had nightvision one time in one of the first seasons but I think season 7 was the first time a thermal camera was used and then we saw it maybe twice more. There are also often no contingency plans. Back-up being nonexistent 90% of the time, handwaved or ignored with a quick line or reason that wouldn't really make sense. Plus, everytime they needed to make something thrilling, they added a time constraint element to do it.

Something I did like was the representation of mental illness. You really see the ugly side of Carrie's bipolar and even though I don't have it, and so can't actually speak to whether or not it's actually a good portrayal, it seemed good. I feel it's important to show regular people what it looks like, and I felt the same way with Max's neurodivergency - that he was quiet and forward added a lot to his character. He could have definitely just been the kind of techy nerd stereotype that is seen everywhere, but I'm glad they didn't go that route.

And another great thing, I think the best even, was Damian Lewis. It was such a shame that he was written out but it does make sense that they couldn't do all that much with his character. I have only seen him in Band of Brothers, but he was one of the highlights in that show too, so it's not surprising that I liked him in this one too. The best scene of the show for me was the one where he is wearing the bomb vest in the bunker next to all the high ranking officers. The up close shot of his trembling and shivering face.. I have no idea how he was able to even do that. He has won awards which is well deserved.

Bingewatching the show over about a month instead of watching it week to week across 8 years probably did not do this show any favours. I think maybe it's easier to see through the formula then. Better shows barely even have formulas, but this one certainly does, and I'm not a fan of it. Every single season has ways that they can't trust anyone anywhere. It's always this small team versus the world. That's not unique to this show but it stands out because it's often the same way they do it - they think they can't trust anyone, there's a mole, they're on their own because reasons, etc. In any case, the show was an alright use of my time but definitely not going to watch it again.

Would love to hear anyone's thoughts about either the show or what I have written here!

Title.

As I peruse new, and new to me, music I generally average about 4-5 songs a month being added to my playlists. More often than not a song will just click immediately and get added, but sometimes it'll be an older song on an album I have heard/owned prior and found a new enjoyment of it or, more rarely, I'll be introduced to a song and end up liking it more as I listen to it over some period of time.

Tax time again!
I like to get this done as soon as possible to get it out of the way. I have all my tax documents at the ready, but several changes happened in my life last year (moved states, sold home, bought home, etc.) and the tax software I've been using over the last several years apparently "doesn't support" several of the tax forms (or even simply some of the boxes on the forms) I have for this year.

Trying to avoid the "Big Two" if possible.

I'm posting this in good faith, both out of curiosity and self interest. But up front I'll say that I'm not interested in scams, schemes, or get-rich-quick stuff.

I work full time as a teacher, but ever since we had a baby, my wife and I are just barely breaking even financially. Not struggling, but $4k/year would make a massive difference in our lives.

It seems like I'm stuck in this spot where getting a low wage job after school hours isn't even worth the time missed with my family, considering how awful the pay is. Summer work is tough because it has to justify the extra daycare expenses, and again, it's so much missed time with family for such a low reward. Higher paying gigs don't seem as interested in seasonal help from what I've encountered so far.

For the record, I'm not really interested in crypto or casino bonus schemes. I also don't have enough to invest right now to truly put investing over the edge into a meaningful return.

What are some low-risk/low-investment/low-reward side hustles?

Recently I did an update on my Macbook and it started showing alerts about Apple Intelligence. I've heard a little bit of marketing about this but I haven't really spent any time trying to figure out if it is just hype. Well, I've tried it a few times and I'm completely underwhelmed.
One of marketed features is that Siri is much improved. That would be nice, I thought, because there are only a few use cases like "Set an Alarm" where Siri could ever do anything besides a google search.

So there are two times recently I tried to use this improved Siri to solve a problem. My background using AI: I use Copilot at work. I get mixed results for it, but it does use my local context (open files etc) and is able to ask follow up questions if my prompt is too vague.

First Use Case: I want to solve a technical problem on my laptop

• My Prompt: "Can you help me fix Discord so that audio is shared when I share a video stream"
• My Expectation: Maybe an AI summary of the cause of the issue. Maybe open up system settings or open up Discord or give an explanation of why this is a technical problem on Macs.
• Actual Siri Response: Does an internet search and shows some links. Essentially just did a google search which I could have done by typing the same prompt in a browser.

Second Use case: I want help finding a file on my laptop

In this case, I made a summary of my finances on my laptop a few months ago. I can't remember what I named the file or what kind of file it was. Maybe a spreadsheet? I know it was on my local computer.

• My 1st Prompt: Can you help me find a specific file on my computer
• My Expectation: Maybe some follow up questions where it asks me for a date range or something that is inside the file. Yes, I know that I can do this in Finder but I want Apple Intelligence to save me a few minutes.
• Siri: Shows the result of a web search on how to find files on a computer. The first few results are for Microsoft Windows
• 2nd Prompt: Can you help me find a specific file on my mac
• Siri: Tells me to use Command-space and use the search

In both cases, Siri just acted like a shortcut to a google search. It didn't even recognize that I was asking the question on a Mac. This is same as Siri has always been. I assume that it can still figure out to set a timer and do a few things, but it doesn't seem to be working in a way I would expect an AI to work at all.

I've tried before to get input on this, but online it doesn't go anywhere and IRL people don't seem to understand. Thought about putting it in the /~finance area, but I don't know that it's really a finance issue, plus things there seem to be wider-scale financial in focus. And there's no /~advice page, so here it is:

I feel like I should be making more money lol. Now immediately, that sounds greedy or either capitalistic/anticapitalistic, depending—I know it does, but hear me out. I have a great job that pays ok but not great, and tons of free time; in my mind, and if I'm being honest in my field, chasing a 5% raise is low ROI and low likelihood of even happening. There is little room for vertical movement, but enough security that it seems crazy to make any changes. Post-college, I have had a pretty varied career background, I am very good at editing, research, training, tech, etc. but I am not an "idea person" and I don't have a lot of marketability or self-promotion ability, it seems like (also no coding abilities, which is always a suggestion; I've tried, believe me, but my brain won't do it). I'd rather edit your book than write one of my own, not because I'm afraid of rejection or can't commit to doing something/run out of steam, but because the steam just isn't there.

I don't feel the need to change careers, but I am also feeling super unfulfilled. I've worked on doing things to try and fill that gap, hobbies/other pursuits/etc, but I am haunted by the fact that I am using such a small part of my bandwidth, when it seems like I could be outputting at 2x or 3x and earning similarly. I've applied for contract work, freelance, all that stuff, but it is spotty pay at best—what I want, short of a medieval patron/wealthy benefactor, is a second job I could do on top of this one. Which leads me to side-hustle-type rabbit holes on starting an Etsy shop/a YouTube channel/a Patreon page. But when it comes down to it, I don't actually feel any passion about doing any of those things, and I can't get a narrow enough niche figured out to even come up with a potential audience. I've avoided specializing because I wanted to do all kinds of things, and now I've done that, and I feel like maybe it was a mistake. I just want to have the resources available to do what I want. Bills are paid, life is good, but I feel like I am spinning my wheels: even writing this out is like a roller coaster of feeling shame that I'm not satisfied or that I'm ungrateful, then being frustrated I can't make it happen the way I want, on my own.

Because see, I didn't say I deserve more money; I want the opportunity to earn more money. There are a ton of things I would be perfectly happy doing for a living, or for a second job. And more money might not even help—if I was a trust fund baby I be in a similar situation. But what the fuck should I be doing then? I guess what I really want is for someone to say "Hey, I need this job done, I'll give you $XXk a year to do it" like it's 1980, and then I know I am serving a purpose? And I wouldn't feel guilty about time left over, because the job is Done. But part of me is afraid that, even if that somehow magically materialized, I would feel the exact same way I do now.

so what do tilderinos?

So bit more than one month ago my very old Microsoft Sidewinder X4 keyboard broke the membrane on the 'A' key, meaning it was effectively kaput. I decided that I wanted to try a mechanical.

The Search

My use-cases are as follows, in the order of importance:

1. Gaming
2. Programming
3. General typing

These were the first requirements I settled on, based on my limited knowledge of mechanical keyboards:

• ISO nordic layout
• Full size: Because I make heavy use of both numpad and the insert-delete-home-end-page island of keys. Whatever it is called. I have zero interest in compromising on the standard layout.
• Nice to have: Metal body
• Nice to have: General high-quality
• Nice to have: Wireless, but only if 2.4Gz.
• Nice to have: Tactile switches
• Nice to have: Backlit keys
• Nice to have: Simple elegant aesthetic. I especially want to avoid typical gamer aesthetic.
• Budget basically unlimited

With these requirements I eventually settled on Keychron Q6 Max with Jupiter Brown. But just before ordering one, I started thinking about the height of the keys on a normal old-school mechanical.
I don't remember when I have last used one, all my recent keyboard had been modern low-profile so I didn't have a reference for what I was buying other than images.
I started reading about wrist problems from keyboard height and the recommendation of a wrist rest. I looked at the Keychron options and saw that they only had rests that were completely detached from the keyboard.
Thing is that I move my keyboard around my desk a lot, so I figured that having a wrist-rest that was not attached would become an annoyance.
After this I decided to just stick to what I am used to and added another requirement:

• Low-profile

Unfortunately when you set requirements for 100%, ISO, and low-profile, then the otherwise extensive Keychron catalogue becomes super limited. So I started looking elsewhere.
At the time there was a new post about a search engine on the /r/MechanicalKeyboards front page.
Using this I discovered the Cherry MX 10.0N. This seemed like a good deal. High quality all-metal body.
The only real sticking point was that the switches are linear with very short actuation, but I liked the look of this keyboard so much that I decided I could probably learn to live with it.

The review

The keyboard looks great in person. The all-metal body feels very solid and high-quality. It's got good heft and sticks to the table. The entire board is very thin and feels good to rest on.
The keys also feel high quality with minimal wobbling, and long keys sound and feel the same whether pressed on the edge or in the middle.

That's all the good stuff. Now on to the less good.

The foot

The adjustable foot in the back has no real positions. Meaning that there is no point in adjusting it where it will click in place and stay there, and it is under constant spring pressure to return to the stowed position. This means that the only thing keeping the extended foot in place is the weight of the keyboard. As mentioned I move my keyboard around frequently, and this means that everytime I move it I have to readjust the foot.
Additionally, it's highest position is sort of a balancing point, meaning that it you are a bit off, or accidentally push the keyboard a bit in this position, then the foot will suddenly collapse.
It's a minor annoyance, but one that is unique to this keyboard since I don't see this kind of foot design anywhere else. Otherwise the full-length metal foot is really nice, if only they had added proper click positions in its travel.

The switches

As mentioned, these are linear with very short actuation. CHERRY MX LOW PROFILE RGB SPEED switches to be specific. My first thought when trying to type with these was "Oh my god I hate this, how can some prefer this?!".
Constant mistyping was the name of the game. I was so used to being able to slightly miss a key, but still only actuate the intended. But that doesn't fly with this keyboard. If you depress any key even the slightest, it WILL actuate.
For gaming I first didn't understand why I sometimes kept jumping. I eventually figured out its because the mere weight of my thumb resting on the spacebar can be enough to actuate it sometimes.

After 1 month of regular usage, I can confidently say that my thoughts are now "Oh my god I hate this, how can some prefer this?!". Okay, I improved my typing somewhat to maybe half my mistyping. Gaming is still a pain, and I've had to regularly rest my thumb on the table instead to stop the sudden jumping.
Unfortunately this keyboard does not have hot-swappable switches, so there is no fixing it unless I want to buy a soldering iron and replace every single key, which I am not willing to.

Key spacing

So while the keyboard is technically 100%, Cherry has still designed it to be as compact as possible. One area where they have shaved off the length is the spacing between the main keys and the arrows keys and those above. Aswell as on the other side with the numpad.
I didn't know this prior to puchasing this keyboard, but apparently this spacing is essential for my muscle memory to be able to find those keys. The lack of spacing has meant that maybe 25% of the time I use them, I press the wrong key.

Overall

Now the issue with the switches and spacing is really an issue of preference. These aren’t quality issues. They were designed this way because some people like it (somehow). So if this keyboard looks interesting to you, and these preference design choices don't bother you, then I can only recommend the Cherry MX 10.0N. It really is a very high quality keyboard.

For me though, I just can't overlook these choices, so I have started looking for another keyboard again. I'm currently split between the Cherry KW X ULP and Logitech G915 X Lightspeed. None of them are full-metal body unfortunately. The cherry one seems to be the higher quality, but the the key caps remind me of laptops keys, which I really hate the feel of. Maybe I'm overreacting to it. The Logitech one is lower quality, but has all the the features that I would want. If you know of something better then please do leave a comment. I might reconsider my low-profile requirement. I'll give it at least another month before I become serious about switching again.

I didn't "get" the horse thing

Like some (most?) people, I looked at horse people and wondered "why". My Mum is a horse person, she'd rave about how much she loved her horse, but the words never really meant much to me. I always empathised with my Dad who, like me, found things like motorbikes and tractors more interesting and fun.
I thought, why would you want to invest time, energy and money into this 500+ kg animal which, as far as I could tell, didn't do much other than stand completely still all day and eat grass?
And then there's the actual riding, horses are animals, they are famous for getting scared of things such as a puddle, a plastic bag and the wind. Why would I not just use a reliable thing like a bike or car and master that? I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than wanting to go on a trek somewhere and your dumbass horse going "nah I don't like that brush" and you having to take a detour. It sounds frustrating!

So I tried horse riding

I started dating someone who was also a horse person, my Mum is a horse person and I felt like I was both missing something and also maybe it would be good for my relationship. So I thought, fuck it, why not let's give it a go. A new hobby is always a good thing.
My initial thoughts were luke warm. It was difficult as hell, which probably was the main thing that kept my interest. I feel confident getting on any machine and learning the controls in an afternoon, but a horse was like learning to drive again, but worse because each time I went to learn the car had a different opinion that day.
I felt like I struggled. I got laughed at and I laughed with the people at the stables as kids the age of 10 or 12 were running circles around me.
I could go one day and feel like I had it, the horse would listen and I knew what I was doing only to go back the day later and struggle to get the thing to go forward.
It took a year, minimum because it's hard to really put a finger on when it clicked, to actually sit on a horse and consistently get basic forward, stop and turn, never mind everything else. And I swear to god there is a lot of everything else.

Horse riding is really complicated

A horse, as mentioned, is a real living breathing animal. What that guy had for breakfast today is going to effect your ride today. You don't get that on a motorbike.
I'm writing this section before I even get as far as owning a horse too, so bare in mind these are all riding school horses, not my own.
So you sit on a horse and you know the mechanical signals to move the animal the way you want. I won't go into detail. As a rider, you have to both read the animal, as you would a person in a social setting, and also set the tone on the horse too. By sitting on that horse and giving clear, no nonsense instructions, the animal also builds trust with you too. Both on a momentary and a long term basis.
This means that, you could sit on a horse and give it the right mechanical cues, but the horse will go "nah" or it half ass it. As a rider, it take so, so much practice to learn how to pick up on these cues and also correct them and, even better, avoid them in the first place! And it's obviously even harder when you are learning at a stable and you aren't sure you are going to get the same horse every lesson.
OK, still with me? Because so far we've sat on a horse.
The horse can spook, the horse can be lazy, the horse can be really energetic, the horse can be stronger on one "rein" (the direction of travel around a riding school) than the other, the horses tackle may be uncomfortable for the horse, the horse may have sore feet, the horse might have a really boucy trot or a slow canter or goes straight into gallop from walk. The variables are impossible to list. As a software engineer, the thought of trying to ride a horse programaticially sounds nigh on impossible. It's all vibes.
And that's part one of this massive post, it's all vibes.
It's the vibes. You spend years learning how to vibe check a half ton dog so you know ahead of time it's probably not to pleased about the upcoming bush which is a slightly different colour and you can do something about it.

Horses are weird animals

So far in this post, I've been learning to ride and I've started to understand, ok, there's a lot going on there. I can trot, I can move the horse but I can't really do much with that beyond go for a nice walk really. There's a lot more to do.
Around this point, thanks to the aforementioned partner, I was gifted a horse. He's a handsome quarter horse named Brego (yes, named after that Brego).
I was told "Brego is lazy, he'd rather stand there than throw you off, perfect for learning" I was dubious.
I met this horse, he didn't say much, or do much. I can read dogs, but this man was giving me nothing.
Needless to say, I started riding him and it was a rocky start. He lived up to expectations and he refused to go out of sight of the house, and I didn't have the skillset to know what to do with him.
I got a horse trainer over and she gave me the tools, which springboarded Brego and I off into the woods for some adventures together.
It's taken another year, a lot of questions, getting thrown off (not Brego as promised) and many, many neck scratches but I'm getting it now.
They don't really communicate like other animals, a lot of it is silent and very subtle. Posture, ears, eyes, jaws and being tense are all little signs of horse language.
Nowadays Brego will see me across the field and push all the other horses out the way to see me, then just stand there. He just likes to hang out with the boys, you know?
So that's part two, the animal bond and it's a great feeling! It is like a big, weird dog. They all are full of this bizzare personality that horse people keep trying to put into buckets, but it doesn't really seem to always work.

Putting it together

Having an animal you love and trust, who also loves and trusts you, through hard work ontop of the honestly rediculous amount of skill and patience required to vibe check a horse and ride it is a huge payoff.
Riding a bike or car feels to me like refining a process. I can learn it reasonably quickly and then it's years of practice to get various experience and learn various niches.
Horse riding it seems like there is always more to learn, I don't know how to format it in this post without it going on for thousands of lines.
Just consider learning to ride, learning to jump and learning dressage on one horse, then having to apply that to another with a different temperament. There's obviously a lot of crossover, and you can learn how to ride a horse with a similar personality but every horse is unique, so you're learning how to adapt and thrive with each different animal.

Everything else

I didn't know where to put this but I wanted to call out the sheer volume of knowledge in the hobby/sport. I was so unaware of this before I started to learn.
I already mentioned sitting on a horse, going forward and the intricacies there. But there is so. Much. More.
The basics, like walking, trotting, canter, gallop, turning. Multiply that by the horse itself, riding a lazy horse is a different skillset to riding a wild beast with no stop peddle. I've seen people try to bucket horses in around 6 to 10 different types. Like I said above, I'm not sure about the buckets but these are by people who have more experience than me so maybe there's something there.
Then you've got more advanced riding sports, jumping, dressage, cross coutry, racing. Obviously not everyone is going to learn and get into all of these but they are their own sports which I haven't even touched yet.
Then on top of that you have non-riding skills. That is the community is very keen you understand and you are comfortable with horse care.
We're talking stable care with mucking out, water and food, brushing before and after, tacking up and down, taking care of the tack, hoove care. To some extent there's other stuff like teeth, vaccinations, quality of life, etc etc.
I'm listing stuff and these all have depth I don't understand, there's stuff I don't know about because I keep getting told in a matter of a fact way "oh did you not know about blah?"

Horses are cool

They are massive dummies but they are cool. I used to think horse riding was a sport for lazy people.
But lord, I feel like I have to apologise! It's so damn hard and uses so much of my brain that I realize it was me on my motorbike that was the lazy one all along!
I love learning and I feel like I learn all the time riding. The fact the fatty I'm sitting on likes me too is a good feeling too.

Feel free to ask any questions and please share your thoughts and experiences with horses!
Are/were you also like me?
Are you a horse person?
Do you think you'd ever try horse riding?

Maybe you ended up on an email chain you weren’t supposed to. Maybe you stumbled across a gift from your partner in its hiding place. Maybe you heard a friend talking about you without them realizing you were there?

This can be about something serious, funny, sad, lighthearted, etc. Anything goes.

Tell us the story: What did you see/hear? How did it impact you/others? How did you feel about it?

I thought I would share this story as I've been thinking about it ever since coming out as transfem and it always makes me smile.

for every year it's been going on -- which is two... but I digress -- I've helped out at a major trade show to put some iconic industry products on display as mainly fully working examples for people to play around with.

I noticed this lady looking at one of our exhibits and struck up a conversation with her as I had done with countless other people that day. turns out she was working at the company who built that exhibit during its production run in the early eighties! we spoke a lot about her experiences with that company.

after a bit, a few more people from that same company came over and they were all reminiscing about their time working there. it was at this point I realised she was trans because she kept saying to all these old guys "you probably knew me by a different name back then"! they were all really accepting and had no issues, goes to show older people can and do respect trans people!

it really inspired me to meet not only a trans elder but a trans elder working in my industry, who had worked on an exhibit I had set up the day before -- we opened it up later and found her initials on an electrical testing label from 1983! in meeting her it feels like I saw a possible future for myself, which is not something I had properly envisioned before, not on the order of decades at the very least. I like the idea of having a future. it gives me something to strive for. I want to be the lady who goes to trade shows and regales bright-eyed students with tales of a long and fulfilling career in my industry. I want to have stories to tell and I want to be there to tell them. meeting her made all that seem that much more possible.

I hope this makes someone else smile like it does me and I'd love to hear more stories like this if anyone is willing to share!

I recently finished The Bonehunters, the 6th book in Malazan Book of the Fallen and taking the advice of @DynamoSunshirt I decided to post this to see the thoughts and opinions of everyone here on this book in the series, and by extension how it builds upon the previous books.

I've felt like each book in the series has drawn me further in, and this was no exception. One thing that I've found in reading large scale series with multiple POVs is that there are often ones that I'm not interested in or find less appealing than others while reading it and look forward to getting back to my favorite characters. There wasn't a single character in this volume, and so far in Malazan, that I wasn't interested in following.

I'm wrapping up my work day and don't have a lot of time to write out all my thoughts on the book but wanted to get this posted while it was on my mind and then add in more later.

I loved seeing so many potlines from the previous books start coming together.

The siege of Y'Ghatan was completely unexpected and was riveting to read, it being one of the longer chapters in the book kept me up late one night because I had to see how it wrapped up!

The end of the book felt like we were witnessing a pivotal moment and what seemed like a rapid fall of the empire. So many injustices with the Wican Pogrom and how the Chain of Dogs was being treated. I was honestly rooting for Tavore to usurp Laseen.

Heboric's potline feels like it is not completed and that the Jade Statue and all of those souls will have an impact on the storyline later on. I'm also left wondering what Hood wanted from Ganoes as part of the deal to let Heboric out of Hood's realm.

Karsa Orlong continues to be awesome and has become of my favorite characters. His self-assurance and introspection along with the seeming threat to civilization he represents is fantastic. I also saw a reference towards the end of the book about certain Tobalki possessing warrens of their own. I'm curious if he has reached that point and how exactly that works with all the other mysteries of the magic in this world.

I have a friend who has already read all 10 books, and I've been bouncing ideas/predictions off of him which has been great.

I am currently starting book 7 and would appreciate if any spoilers for the following books, or other books in the Malazan setting, are avoided.

With the recent news about Synapse, I am a little on edge with the safety of my money. I am currently living in France for school, and am hoping to immigrate here permanently. All of my savings is in USD, so I need a way to easily and cheaply convert between USD and EUR, and be able to spend EUR locally. After a ton of research, I decided to move almost all of my banking to Wise. They don't offer traditional banking features like in-person branches or checks, but I didn't use those anyway. I can get a local bank number in any of the many countries they support. The savings account APY is insanely high (higher than I have seen from even the best high yield savings accounts. I have a debit card that allows me to spend directly from any one of my bank account currencies, and auto convert to other supported currencies. And the USD account is insured by FDIC passthrough insurance.

In the thread about the Synapse collapse, people were saying that passthrough FDIC insurance doesn't always mean that the customer's money is actually insured. And apparently some fintech services will just lie about what is covered by FDIC insurance. I am not a lawyer, and I have no idea how to validate Wise's claims about passthrough FDIC insurance.

I was recently able to open a France bank account, which was surprisingly difficult. (To open a bank account you need proof of address, like a cell phone or electricity bill. I don't pay for utilities in my school apartment, and to get a cell phone plan I need a bank account. That was fun to try and navigate.) I have these bank accounts currently: my Wise account with US USD, Belgium EUR, and UK GBP, a US Credit Union account, and a French EUR bank account. My US credit union and French banks give a very low or zero APY, so keeping my money in my Wise accounts is preferable for that reason. But I also can't afford to loose all my savings if Wise collapses. My question is this: Is Wise safe enough for general money storage, or should I use it just for converting between currencies and keeping a small amount for spending? If Wise isn't safe, what about another similar product? I have heard of Revolut, but I didn't do much research since Wise seemed better for my use case.

I dont know how many people here play Runescape, but the latest seasonal League has just started a day or two ago.

It is a temporary event during which you start a new profile and all the xp rates and drop rates are boosted considerably, making it really fast to level up and progress.

Ive been having a blast with it. Its a fun way to try out skills you dont typically enjoy and get up to hogh level quickly.

For those playing, what relics and areas have you chosen? Ive unlocked Kandarin as my first area and am currently levelling slayer so I can finally try out the trident of the seas on my ironman account.

To me this is the best thing I've ever seen, movie or series or otherwise. Characters, artstyle, writing, animations, worldbuilding, character depth, mental issues and disability representation and the music.

It's bold, it's flashy, it's outright heartbreaking and earth-shattering yet comforting and soft when it wants to be and then totally can spin the story again in a new direction. Bravo.

And I've seen anything from the Shawshank Redemption and The Dark Knight on release to obscure anime and bad TV series these past 25 years.

I bow to the incredible talent that has made this possible.

For many years, I’ve been relying on a budgeting system I came up with that leverages the unlimited free savings accounts offered by my credit union, and the scheduled transfer functionality in their online banking. I have a separate account for every recurring bill. I also have accounts for different types of expenses like groceries, car maintenance, clothing, travel, etc. Altogether I have about 50-60 accounts.

I am salaried so I get a predictable paycheck at predictable intervals. After every paycheck arrives, a flurry of scheduled transfers distribute the money among all the accounts. These accounts are my budget — if I go to the movie theater, for example, I’m not allowed to spend more than what’s in my Activites account. I rely heavily on my online banking app and often pull up the balances to see how much I have to work with. Most of my paycheck is allocated but there’s always a little bit left over in my checking account, which is used for discretionary spending and provides a little cushion if I need it.

Most of my bills are on auto-pay. I have scheduled transfers in place to move the money back into checking when it’s due, just in time for the payment to process.

This system works for me. I like how earmarking and separating out funds for specific purposes as soon as I get paid prevents me from spending that money on other things. I have some annual subscription renewals that I don’t even feel because I set aside a couple bucks every pay period and the money’s there when I need it. I like that this system doesn’t require complex paid software or tedious reconciliation processes. It’s admittedly a chore to make adjustments to anything because the online banking system wasn’t designed for this sort of workflow. Once it’s properly configured, everything is automated and it basically runs itself. I’ve added a couple supporting tools over the years: a spreadsheet to plan the whole budget before I create all the scheduled transfers, and a CLI script that projects upcoming balances for n years so I can optimize my biweekly allocation sizes for their corresponding monthly or annual payments.

I don’t know what to call this system. It’s similar to the old envelope method except I’m using actual bank accounts and never handling cash. I’ve heard that YNAB is similar but haven’t looked into that one. I can’t be the only one managing their money this way! Does this have a name? I’d love to hear resource recommendations for this sort of budget, and please share your own systems and tools as well!

I don't know what I intend for this post to be - I guess I just need to get my thoughts out somewhere. If anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate it - but I'm not expecting anyone to read all the way through this or anything really. If this isn't appropriate for Tildes, feel free to remove it.

I recently graduated college and moved to San Jose, CA for work. And let me tell you, I am not liking it here at all so far. Work itself is great - it's interesting stuff, I like what I'm doing, and I feel like there's really nowhere else I could be doing it. But dear lord, has my social life evaporated. This does not feel like somewhere that someone in their young 20s should be living. I live in downtown, and it's mostly apartments, tech companies, and a spattering of bars and restaurants frequented by tech bros in their 30s. Which is fine, but not at all the social scene I am looking for.

I work with a handful of people my age, and while we do things outside of work every so often, they're really not the same kind of folks I got used to hanging out with in college. They're all super career/status-oriented people, which is not me at all. I've definitely selected for meeting these kinds of folks by working at a tech company, but that's really not the kind of people I usually vibe with. In college, I made a lot of really close friends who were mostly "weirdos", without any better way to put it - lots of queer leftist folks, people into strange art and music, people I could really be myself around. Maybe I have high standards for what I look for in friends, but I really do not see myself becoming close with any of the people my age that I've met around here so far. I have nothing against these folks - we just share different ideals. But I feel like I am constantly censoring myself and am unable to really just be me here.

Of course, to find the kinds of people that I want to hang out with, I probably chose the wrong career path and wrong place to live. I was wary of moving to San Jose since the sentiment I'm sharing here is widely echoed online. And it feels bad proving my fears correct. I looked into moving to San Francisco, Berkeley, or Oakland, but decided against it because I was afraid the commute would burn me out. But now, I am regretting that decision hardcore. I have never felt lonelier in my entire life. I would much rather spend three hours commuting every day than spend my weekends alone.

I started adulthood during the pandemic, and I moved out of state to go to college. For the first two years of school, I had a really hard time meeting people and making friends since my university was really strict on COVID restrictions, and we didn't have in person classes until halfway through my second year. That part of my life was really lonely, too - so this isn't new to me. But somehow, being surrounded by people who are nothing like me feels way lonelier than being around nobody at all. And what hurts even more is seeing all of my friends back in college / high school thriving, and feeling like I'm drowning. I feel like I sold my friends and happiness for a job and money, and it feels terrible. Nobody I knew from college or high school lives here - I had zero connections moving up here.

And this isn't for a lack of effort - I've been trying to figure out where to meet people. I've looked at meetup, and all the events around here seem to be networking, business, and tech related. I've gone on Bumble BFF, and everyone on there just wants to "network" or aren't my vibe. I've been going to bars, coffee shops, etc by myself to try and meet people, but haven't been successful. I've signed up to volunteer at a local animal shelter, which I figure might be a good way to meet people, but they don't have any open shifts yet. I've looked for live music events near me, but there isn't really a lot in the scenes I'm into. I don't know what else to do.

Everything in this place seems to revolve around careers, money, status, networking, and tech. It feels terrible, it's like a physical microcosm of LinkedIn. I know I'm going to be moving to San Francisco as soon as my lease is up in August. I feel like I'll have a way better chance of meeting people who are like me and are my age up there. But in the meantime, I need to make the most of where I am. I'm sure there's people like me somewhere around here, but the issue is meeting them. Where do I find them? How the hell do adults make friends, and close ones at that? I am surrounded by a lot of lonely adults - lots of folks at work who never married, don't do anything fun, and live for work. Do I need to get out of here before this place eats me alive? I don't want to end up like that.

I know this will pass, or at least I hope it does. I know my life isn't over. I just feel like I'm squandering my precious 20s, if there is such a thing. At least I have a roof over my head and a dream job. I guess the grass is always greener, but I feel like I'd rather be struggling to pay rent and be surrounded by close friends than have a full wallet and an empty living room like I do now. The pandemic was a really terrible period of my life, and I won't go into detail about everything going on in my brain, but I feel like I'm standing on the precipice of that kind of depression again.

Anyway, this post isn't really coherent or organized. It's more of a rant than anything. I just needed to get my thoughts on to paper (screen?), and posting here seemed better than screaming into the void. If you read this, thank you :)

EDIT: Wow, I didn't expect so many replies, recommendations, and support on this post. I fully expected to get no replies. Thank you everyone, really. I suppose part of my situation is I need to stop being so negative - while I am genuinely unhappy here, this isn't forever and I can't do anything besides keep trying. If nothing else, I can always move in August (or before then, if I can figure out a way to break my lease without emptying my bank account). Until I move or find connections, I'll get good at enjoying my own company. And I'm also eternally grateful to have made amazing friends in college and High School that I can still talk to, even if they're hundreds of miles away.

I thought I would share my thoughts and experiences daily driving Linux (Fedora KDE Plasma) for the past week.

Why did I switch from Windows to Linux?

My plan was to switch to Linux once Windows 10 hit EoL in Fall 2025. This was due to my computer not supporting Windows 11. This past September, my computer broke (probably MoBo), and so I swapped out my CPU and MoBo, which probably can support Windows 11. However, this hardware swap unactivated my Windows, Microsoft support was not helpful, and I am not a fan of the direction Windows is heading in (removing local accounts, Recall, and a general vibe I get from Microsoft of removing control from end users). So, I decided to make the jump to Linux a year sooner than expected.

My Previous Experience with Linux

So I would say I am moderately experienced with Linux before this. Personally, I have setup a Proxmox server, in which I setup an openmediavault NAS, and played around with various desktop distros for personal curiosity. I also switched my old laptop over to Linux a few years back, but had very low requirements of the tasks that laptop had to perform. I also took a post secondary class on Linux, primarily covering system administration tasks like BASH/PERL scripting, Apache server admin, LDAP, and file sharing all using Ubuntu. So going into this I had a moderate amount of experience, all within Debian based distros. The bigger change with switching my desktop is that it is my primary computer, so the expectations of what it needed to run was higher.

Why I chose Fedora KDE Plasma

I did a post about a month ago asking for recommendations to look into: https://tildes.net/~tech/1ji6/switching_to_linux_looking_for_distro_recommendations
I settled on Fedora KDE Plasma for a few reasons:

• I appreciate the philosophy of not being rolling release like Arch, but also a quicker release cycle than Ubuntu and its forks. I felt this was a good middle ground where I get newer advances without dealing with stuff breaking frequently when there was a new update.
• It can handle most tasks graphically, without having to dig into the console often (more on this later).
• I appreciate the Windows-esque styling of KDE Plasma. I got used to Windows so didn't want a radical shake up. However, it feels to me like a better version of Windows (or maybe just not touch screen oriented and ad bloated).

Headaches/glitches

Some of these are ongoing, while others were issues that I have worked through

• FIXED: Installing nvidia drivers via RPM Fusion. Before installing drivers, the computer was unstable and frequently froze. I ended up just loading a command line only interface and manually typing in the commands to install RPM Fusion and the nvidia drivers. I was planning on installing it via command line anyway, so the main headache here was typing it out instead of copy and pasting the commands in. I also had an issue where I initially installed the wrong drivers.
• ONGOING/INFREQUENT: Occasionally when I wake the computer from sleep, at the lock screen, my mouse is responsive, but my keyboard is not. Also, selecting the virtual keyboard does not work, as the virtual keyboard does not load. I tried waiting for the computer to go back to sleep, and then wake it from sleep to see if it reloads things properly. The computer does not go to sleep normally, so the solution right now is to just shut down the computer and then it is solved.
• FIXED: Steam launched games not closing properly. Specifically Far Cry 5, which runs properly, when I exit the game, the process does not fully close down. From my perspective, it seems like it has, but Steam indicates that it is still running. The solution is to go into System Monitor and close down the Steam application with high resource usage, as that is actually the game still running in the background.
• ONGOING/INFREQUENT/PARTIALLY FIXED: When I wake the computer from sleep, and login, there is a large amount of visual glitches and artifacts on my desktop environment. It is both in applications and especially on the Panel. The current solution is to run the command systemctl restart --user plasma-plasmashell which drastically improves the situation, but the glitches are still partially there. This has just started last night, so probably a computer restart may solve the problem, but I am trying to avoid having to constantly restart the computer.
• FIXED: As Far Cry 5 was a brand new game, when launching it from Steam for the first time, Ubisoft's software wanted me to enter a CD Key, but Steam was not giving me one. Thinking this was a Linux related issue, I switched to my Windows install, and had the same issue. Turns out it is a Ubisoft bug in their software that also impacted Windows. I found a solution online on how to solve it for Windows, did that and authenticated the game. Then I switched over to Linux and the game ran well.
• FIXED: KDE Wallet Service was doing an excessive amount of prompts. I uninstalled the software, but the prompts continued. Turns out it needs to be disabled before being uninstalled, or the prompts continue. So I had to reinstall it, disable it, then uninstall it. Annoying but minor and it is fixed now.
• ONGOING/INFREQUENT/PARTIALLY SOLVED: When waking from sleep, sometimes my background image on my primary display does not fully cover the desktop. This is most likely due to my primary display being 1920x1080, and my secondary display being 1600x900, so the image is not being scaled independently for both displays. The solution right now is to open the settings to change background, and load any image, but not save changes, as this causes my original image to be reloaded properly

Installing/Running Applications

I have been primarily using Flatpaks to install applications. Overall it has been a smooth process. One pain point I have is it seems that the Minecraft Official Launcher for non-Debian systems is kind of clunky requiring me to login to my Microsoft account every time I open the game. This will probably be solved by switching to a third party launcher in the near future. The one software that I haven't gotten around to installing yet is DaVinci Resolve.

What Surprised Me so Far?

There are a few things that have been a pleasant surprise:

• I use the console more than I expected going into it. For flatpaks, I tend to just copy and paste the commands into console. RPM Fusion also had a GUI based install option but I preferred the console option instead. I also have VIM installed, and use that as my digital notepad, just doing simple console commands of vi fileName in my home directory. I was not expecting to use the console as much as I have been, and I think that is partially due to now being more experienced with it, I gravitate towards using the console which I know how to use instead of learning how to do some tasks via a GUI..
• Most things are running better than expected. I haven't touched many games yet, but I haven't had an issue with it yet. It is worth noting that I do not play competitive shooters, so anti-cheat is not something I will have to fight with.
• Libre Office can open my .docx files. I was concerned I may have to convert my existing files to .odt before I can use them, but that does not appear to be the case. I will probably use .odt for new files going forward. It is also worth noting that I haven't worked extensively with my .docx files yet, so there may be some incompatibilities I have yet to encounter.

Overall Thoughts:

Overall I have quite enjoyed running Linux. It does require some tinkering as glitches appear, which currently I am fine with. If I had less free time to tinker and solve the issues, I would probably find Linux to be less viable and more frustrating. Also, most of my glitches can be solved by restarting the computer, although I am trying to find solutions that do not require that. I find it allows me to use the computer and change it to how I want it to be, which I have felt like Windows has gotten increasingly hostile towards the user. A good comparison on this is how the default applications that KDE has included are easy to remove, whereas Windows used to (not sure if it still does) reinstall Microsoft Teams when you uninstalled it.

Edits:

• Added the glitch with background image
• Added more information on my background with Linux, including using it on my laptop

Churchill Solitaire is a mobile game that you can play on Apple or Android devices. It came out in 2016. I found out about it in 2018. It had some very good reviews. It was mentioned that the game is difficult to beat. At the time I was playing some different solitaire games on mobile so I decided to try another. I paid $4.99 to unlock "all deals and free play".

The game is pretty good. $5 was a little expensive to pay for a game that only had one variation of solitaire. For example, I had the game Solebon Pro which has 160 variations. That game cost $10.

So Churchill Solitaire is not a great value. Not all games have the same value of course. But the reason I stopped playing it is because it charges you to get hints and undo moves. A game that is this hard just wastes your time if you can't undo. You can get quite near the end of a session and need to completely restart because you had several choices earlier and picked the wrong one.

Here is the In-App purchase list that is currently on the App Store in 2024. I don't remember if these prices were the same in 2018, but they are the current prices if you want to unlock any of the features:

• Undos - 15 Pack $0.99
• Hints - 15 Pack $0.99
• Undos - 100 Pack $5.99
• Hints - 100 Pack $5.99
• Unlock All Deals & Freeplay $4.99
• Game Pack 1 $0.99
• Daily Game (Monthly) $4.99
• Game Pack 2 $0.99
• Game Pack 3 $0.99
• Undos - 50 Pack $4.99

I understand that the developer should get paid money for unlocking the basic game. I understand that making additional winnable deals may take developer time (most deals are unwinnable in this game, but there is a "campaign" that has winnable deals). I understand that having a daily game may cost the developer to maintain servers and create winnable deals.

But I don't understand charging for hints or undos. I mean, I understand it from a greed perspective. But not from an "I respect the people who paid money for my game" perspective. Yes, I know about Candy Crush and all the other super addictive mobile games that are pay to win and farm money from whales. But this one just pissed me off in particular. This is the mobile game equivalent of heated seats in a BMW.

Since 2018 I've only bought 2 mobile games. So sorry other game devs, I don't even check the app store for games anymore.

Edit: It has been rightfully pointed out that this is a bit of a cranky post. I didn't make clear my intention. Maybe someone can recommend some recent small mobile games, like card or sudoku or something, that aren't pay to win. I am aware of one: Good Sudoku.

I often tell myself that I'm "already dead". I lost my ego long ago and I often don't mind looking dumb or making mistakes, because at the end of the day, why does it matter? We're all going to die and my existence will not change the earth's future.

Thinking this way has GREATLY helped me look forward to the future and reach true happiness. It feels like whatever happens, I've already reached rock bottom so I can only go ahead.

Having said that, ever since 2016, every year has been better than the last. I now have a good fulfilling career, I have a very good group of friends, I'm good financially and I have all the freedom in the world.

Why do I live? I live for experiences, I live to create memories, I live to explore, I live to create, I live to better myself.

So, what are your reasons? I'm always curious about other people's life stories.