Hey folks - I've been wanting to go whole hog on automating my home, I read through this smart home automation - tips and tricks thread started by @Merry and had a lot of useful information.

Some of the things I took away from it:

• Home assistant is pretty great (if you don't mind tinkering)
• Getting something that will boot back up after a power failure is great
• Use smart plugs / switches vs bulbs
• Maintain it's usefulness if there is an internet outage

Like I mentioned I'd really like for this to be privacy focused and mostly self contained. Sure I'd love to be able to control stuff from my phone while I'm home and also recognize that I'm home or away.

I just am a bit smooth brained when it comes to even seeing "would something like this work with the wiring / circuity that I have in my home already?"

If there are any good guides to follow or really specific advice / steps I could follow to begin this process I'd really appreciate it.

For my job I need to copy a person's name out of a field and split it into first and last names. I have a AHK script that can do this but my version only works with simple, one-word, non-hyphenated names. I tried prompting Gemini as below.

There is a line of text consisting of one or more words, a comma, then one or more words. write an autohotkey 1.1 script to select everything before the comma, store it to a variable called firstname, then select everything after the comma and store it to a variable called lastname. thanks

(the firstname and lastname variables should be swapped as the last name would come before the comma, that was my error)

Here's the AutoHotkey 1.1 script to achieve what you described:

; This script splits a text line into first and last name based on a comma

#NoEnv  ; Recommended for performance and compatibility.
SendMode Input  ; Simulates keystrokes for reliable input.

; Function to split the text
Func SplitText(_text, firstName, lastName) {
  StringSplit, parts, _text, `,`
  if (parts[1]) {
    firstName := parts[1] ; Assign first name
    lastName := SubStr(_text, 1 + StrLen(parts[1])+1) ; Extract last name after comma (including space)
  } else {
    firstName := _text ; Handle cases without a comma
    lastName := ""
  }
}

; Hotkey to trigger the script (replace F2 with your desired key)
F2::
  Send, ^c ; Copy the selected text to clipboard
  clipText := ClipboardAll  ; Read the clipboard content
  SplitText(clipText, firstName, lastName) ; Call the function to split the text
  MsgBox, First Name: %firstName%`nLast Name: %lastName%

  ; Optional: Clear clipboard to avoid unintended pasting (comment out if not desired)
  ; Clipboard := 
Return

Explanation:

#NoEnv and SendMode Input: These lines are included for performance and reliable input simulation.
Func SplitText(_text, firstName, lastName): This function takes the text (_text) as input and assigns the split parts to variables firstName and lastName.
StringSplit, parts, _text, ,:** Splits the text based on the comma (,`) delimiter.
if (parts[1]):** Checks if there's a second part (i.e., text after the comma).
If true, the first part is assigned to firstName and the text after the comma (including the space) is extracted using SubStr and assigned to lastName.
else:** If there's no comma, the entire text is assigned to firstName and lastName is set to an empty string.
F2::: This line defines a hotkey. When F2 is pressed, the following actions occur:
Send, ^c:** Copies the selected text to the clipboard.
clipText := ClipboardAll:** Reads the copied text from the clipboard and stores it in the variable clipText.
SplitText(clipText, firstName, lastName):** Calls the function to split the copied text into first and last names.
MsgBox:** Displays a message box showing the extracted first name and last name.
Optional: Clear Clipboard: The commented line Clipboard := clears the clipboard content after processing. Uncomment this line if you want to avoid accidentally pasting the copied text elsewhere.

Edit: To answer questions, and provide info I probably should have from the beginning: I'm a medical transcriptionist using AHK with my job's software (Emdat Inscribe) and a word expander (Instant Text). Inscribe seems to be browser-based but functions as a standalone app. I already have dozens of AHK 1.1 macros; my .ahk file has over 2000 lines, although I'm sure it's terribly written code. This is also why I'm disinclined to switch to AHK 2.0 since I have no desire to rewrite everything unless absolutely necessary. The first part of this macro is a bunch of keypresses to jump to the relevant patient info field, then this part would be used to store the names appropriately. I already have hotkeys to use the variables as needed and most macros are limited with #ifwinactive to Inscribe.

Hi, I keep reading about this thing called a "NAS" and I don't have in my social network a bunch of reasonable geeks to figure out if this is something for me or if it is overkill and I can get by with less -- trying to be frugal and all.

The Situation

At the moment, I have a Raspberry Pi 3 (that a colleague gifted me) which runs Jellyfin, mostly for music. I'd use it for watching series and movies, but given how slow it is at transferring files and the fact that it has a 1GB (maybe 2GB) RAM... I was afraid to break it. On top of that, its storage is a years-old external hard drive.

I use Jellyfin mostly to have music on my iPhone. I can access it when I'm out and about on Tailscale. I hope to find a solution for my photos as well.

I'd also occasionally use the pi to experiment with some self-hosted open-source apps.

I constantly find myself wanting to upgrade because I want to also backup my important photos (with face recognition if possible) and documents "offline" (i.e. in my local network) to something more stable than an aging hard drive. They're all in the cloud, but a second backup option could be great.

What I understand from reading about NAS's is that I basically have one, it's just not... reliable?

The Question

I understand there is definitely a buy-in cost for buying an actual NAS, I'd like to know how much... so that I can make an informed decision on if and when I would buy it. What is an entry-level NAS and how much will it cost? What could it NOT do that an RPi could, and vice-versa? Am I missing an in-between or even an alternative solution for my use case? Is it overkill and should I just upgrade the pi? What are my options?

Thanks in advance for reading my post!

I have no idea how to word this, as every similar post that I've seen has had an obvious cause, in some way shape or form. I, on the other hand, feel pretty shitty even writing this up know that others have actual problems that I am taking that visibility from.

When I wake up, I get to go to work a job that mentally stimulates me, teaches me new things (both in terms of a legacy system and in terms of new technology), and lets me work from home 3/5 days a week. On top of that, I have a very solid housing situation where I don't need to worry about rent being raised. I have a (reliable) car that only needs routine maintanence, and has very good MPG. I have a dog that I love, and would easily die for without a second thought. I have family living nearby, that, while we don't agree religiously or politically most times, can all get along and enjoy holidays or get togethers.

And yet, feel like I lied about my life just now.

When I wake up, the first thought isn't that my dog is waking me up to go out, it is the feeling of the weight that merely existing seems to put on me. As I just stated earlier, my job is not the cause of stress, neither is housing, nor food, nor family. I have no reason to feel the way that I do.

I've recently (in the last 6 months) started journaling, and the main theme that I have found is that I am constantly thankful for having everything that I do. And yet, tomorrow, when I open my eyes, either due to the alarm, or due to my dog waking me up to go outside, I will have a weight laying over my chest that I can only attribute to the fact that I still exist.

I try to ignore the news (while staying informed enough to vote properly on candidates), I don't use social media except for Tildes and to share the once a week or two photo on Instagram, and I am both active physically, and creatively. None of this seems to remove the weight. I feel like I am either wasting my existence when I am consuming media, wasting my time attempting to create when others have voices or messages with stronger meaning, or wasting other's time when I hang around them.

I have no right to complain about my life. Hell, two years ago I would have killed for what I have now. And, yet, I feel like I am wasting what I have been given. I am legitimately happiest sitting out in my backyard with my dog, either sipping a beer or just watching the stars. The issue is, that when I do, a weight slowly lays itself over me, one that I do not know the cause of, or reason for. A weight that I cannot shake, and can only attribute to simply existing.

I would like so very much, even temporarily, to remove it.

I've tried before to get input on this, but online it doesn't go anywhere and IRL people don't seem to understand. Thought about putting it in the /~finance area, but I don't know that it's really a finance issue, plus things there seem to be wider-scale financial in focus. And there's no /~advice page, so here it is:

I feel like I should be making more money lol. Now immediately, that sounds greedy or either capitalistic/anticapitalistic, depending—I know it does, but hear me out. I have a great job that pays ok but not great, and tons of free time; in my mind, and if I'm being honest in my field, chasing a 5% raise is low ROI and low likelihood of even happening. There is little room for vertical movement, but enough security that it seems crazy to make any changes. Post-college, I have had a pretty varied career background, I am very good at editing, research, training, tech, etc. but I am not an "idea person" and I don't have a lot of marketability or self-promotion ability, it seems like (also no coding abilities, which is always a suggestion; I've tried, believe me, but my brain won't do it). I'd rather edit your book than write one of my own, not because I'm afraid of rejection or can't commit to doing something/run out of steam, but because the steam just isn't there.

I don't feel the need to change careers, but I am also feeling super unfulfilled. I've worked on doing things to try and fill that gap, hobbies/other pursuits/etc, but I am haunted by the fact that I am using such a small part of my bandwidth, when it seems like I could be outputting at 2x or 3x and earning similarly. I've applied for contract work, freelance, all that stuff, but it is spotty pay at best—what I want, short of a medieval patron/wealthy benefactor, is a second job I could do on top of this one. Which leads me to side-hustle-type rabbit holes on starting an Etsy shop/a YouTube channel/a Patreon page. But when it comes down to it, I don't actually feel any passion about doing any of those things, and I can't get a narrow enough niche figured out to even come up with a potential audience. I've avoided specializing because I wanted to do all kinds of things, and now I've done that, and I feel like maybe it was a mistake. I just want to have the resources available to do what I want. Bills are paid, life is good, but I feel like I am spinning my wheels: even writing this out is like a roller coaster of feeling shame that I'm not satisfied or that I'm ungrateful, then being frustrated I can't make it happen the way I want, on my own.

Because see, I didn't say I deserve more money; I want the opportunity to earn more money. There are a ton of things I would be perfectly happy doing for a living, or for a second job. And more money might not even help—if I was a trust fund baby I be in a similar situation. But what the fuck should I be doing then? I guess what I really want is for someone to say "Hey, I need this job done, I'll give you $XXk a year to do it" like it's 1980, and then I know I am serving a purpose? And I wouldn't feel guilty about time left over, because the job is Done. But part of me is afraid that, even if that somehow magically materialized, I would feel the exact same way I do now.

so what do tilderinos?

I have a relative whose 8 year old has shown a keen interest in coding. He even takes books out of the library about coding even though he's never done it and I dont think he understands most of what he's reading. Seems like a little Bill Gates just dying to get started.

I used to teach LOGO to kids back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth and I looked at some recent versions. Its good, and the logic is all there, but the end results are fairly mundane for a kid who's already experienced amazing video games. Then I stumbled across Scratch, a much more visual programming tool and it seems to fit what we need. Scratch allows kids to make animations, simple games, even do motion detection, music all with sprites that they can manipulate using drag and drop coding blocks. Lots of online video tutorials that he can follow himself too. https://scratch.mit.edu/

Before I dive headlong into Scratch, just wondering if there are other even better tools for teaching coding to kids? Or what your experience might be with them?

Greetings Tildeans!

I am wrapping up my Ph.D. and am pursuing a teaching-focused career in higher education. I am currently in talks for a 4-year institution teaching faculty position that would revolve around teaching a subject I am passionate about and could provide a lot of intellectual stimulation. Unless something wild happens the offer is there and we are just negotiating the parameters. I also have a position that is in 2nd-phase interviews for a community college tenure track position that would be teaching general biology, anatomy, and physiology. I feel optimistic that they are going to offer me a position, but nothing is concrete yet.

I'm at this impasse because both have really good reasons for doing them and would provide experiences unique from the other. I am trying to balance the pros and cons between these two positions and consider what might be good for my career in the long run, and so I was hoping I could get some advice. Even if you're not in academia I think it would be helpful to get some outside prospective. I'm gonna list my thoughts on it below.

4-year University

Pros:

-Teach upper level and domain specific courses with opportunity to design courses I am passionate about.
-Integrated into scientific community if I want to to do more research/keep abreast of scientific advancements.
-Great community of teaching faculty with lots of support.
-Could be good curriculum vitae experience if I want to stay teaching at a 4-year institution, and could open up teaching psychology courses.
-Option to develop a community outreach project I am passionate about, not sure if there is support for me but there is infrastructure there.
-Partner's family is in the area, and it is a big metropolitan area with lots to do.
-Can get tuition at 25% cost for my partner and I incase we want to get some other degrees.

Cons:

-Pay is not great (does have option of picking up extra summer online classes to earn more).
-My partner and I don't want to live here long term, primarily because of climate, and cost of living is increasing. We are already ready to move, but this is a good opportunity.
-Is contract based, so not as much job security. Having said that, many of the teaching faculty have been there a long time and it seems like the student body for this department is generally growing.

Community College

Pros:

-Pay is pretty good, and there is a baked in growth of salary as long as you stay there long term. Pay could be as much as $15K more starting out than the 4-year institution.
-Small class sizes, so better teacher:student ratio means more involved education.
-Cost of living in the area is pretty cheap (so far).
-Beautiful area and would put us closer to a part of the country we would like to live in long term.
-I do like biology and physiology, just not as much as neuroscience.
-From my understanding there is lot of support and easy options to get into administration if so desired. All the faculty I briefly met had been there at least 7 years.

Cons:

-Only lower levels courses, with little room to develop new ones.
-Not sure how this would impact my ability to switch to a 4-year institution if I end up craving that intellectual stimulation.
-The area is in a part of California that does have issues with forest fires (not the town proper), and the county swings hard in the opposite direction of my politics.
-Small town so there isn't as much to do.

Overall, the community college looks best on paper. We're not planning on having kids so family support isn't as big of a deal. My main concern is if I could switch back to a 4-year institution if I feel like I'm missing something. So if anyone has any thoughts please let me know, in particular if there are other things I'm not considering that you think are worth examining.

Edit: Just to add some additional information. As part of making myself a good candidate for higher education, I have worked as a teaching assistant for several courses during grad school and I have taught online physiology as an adjunct professor at a community college, so I have some experience in both environments.

Thanks ahead of time!

Heading to Japan with my wife for the first time in May. We're having trouble deciding whether to stay in Osaka or Kyoto. We'll stay in Tokyo for about 5 days and then Osaka or Kyoto.

Not interested much in nightlife or partying. But we do enjoy a good cocktail bar and good food. Also planning a day trip to Nara. Any other recommendations about day trips along with any other tips would be appreciated. The amount of places to explore in Japan seem to be endless and I am quite sure we will be planning multiple trips in the future.

But I want this one to be special because it is also our first wedding anniversary. Thanks guys.

We plan to check out how the desert is doing after the recent rain. I have never visited Death Valley and I expect the National Park map will point out the highlights. But if you have been to this park, what stood out or was memorable for you? What advice do you have? We have a few days and the park is huge.

Was there anywhere to eat that you liked? We are coming from the West, not the East. Will probably stay a night in Bakersfield before returning home.

I want to learn a new language that I can use for personal projects. But I want to pick the right one for me, given the fact that learning it will be a time investment and I don't have a ton of time for "fun" stuff these days.

I've spent a decent amount of time tinkering around with Rust and my experience has been decent so far, if I'm trying to filter it through the lens of the current Rust craze. It just seems that the code has a somewhat... ugly(?)... aesthetic to it? I'm not willing to cast it aside yet and I think the "ugliness" just comes from me not really recognizing the syntax very well.

I started looking at golang and was immediately interested in the marketing message of it being "a better C". Aside from Hello World, I haven't done anything else with it.

Some random notes/points about my experience and what I'm looking for:

• I am very accomplished with PHP, quite accomplished with C, somewhat accomplished with C++ and Python. Of those, I find Python to be too "free and easy", PHP (Symfony specifically) and C++ to be so OOP-oriented that I just end up writing a bunch of boilerplate, and C is just... C (I'd rather pull out a tooth than have to work with C strings).
• Aside from the obvious pains of C, I think it's the most fun of the bunch. I don't know why I think this, because again, I absolutely hate C strings.
• I appreciate the package management and ecosystem of Rust, from what I've seen. C-with-Cargo would be awesome.
• The older I get, the more I appreciate strong typing.
• I like a language that allows me to systematically and logically organize my code into various modules, directories, etc. This is where PHP/Symfony shines in that there's a place for everything, as opposed to a bunch of .c and .h files all dumped into a folder.
• Ideally, I'd like something that can compile into a binary that doesn't require JVM, etc.

I'm open to suggestions outside of Rust and Go... those are just the ones I've been seeing mentioned the most over the past decade.

As a result of my improving health, I am looking to finally start working on exercise. I have been through a class on exercise before but I was in very poor shape and wasn't really able to do much at the time so most of the practical stuff I had learned has escaped me, and now I only know enough to hurt me, it seems. I want to do some resistance exercises and even purchased a dumbell but I'm hesitant to do much with it because I'm worried about accidentally hurting myself.

There are tons of resources on the web, but there is so much that it's actually a problem. I don't know how to evaluate their quality, and far too often do I see bad health advice on the internet so it's hard to trust any of them.

With that being said, can anyone recommend me some trustworthy resources for physical fitness information? I'm looking for information on resistance training exercises particularly, but I'd like any information you'd like to share about fitness in general.

At 22 years old, after months long assessments, I have been diagnosed with severe ADHD, depression and moderate anxiety. Here is a quick timeline of my experience:

• May - August :
  • I started CBT therapy and Sertraline 50mg
  • Gradually I was upped to the a dose of 75mg.
  • In this whole period I did not experience any improvements or side effects, except a loss of appetite in the first few days.
• September:
  • I started taking Methylphenidate 18mg and went back to just 50mg of Sertraline.
  • From the first day I had felt a sentiment of calmness and control. But it slowly faded away and I still felt I could not concentrate on things or act productive.
  • I also stopped going to therapy as I saw that CBT was not effective for me.
• October - November:
  • This was a completely different month. I wasn't fully in control of my attention span but it was much better than I've ever been. What was more shocking was how internally I felt at peace and something that I'd describe now as euphoric (as I assume this was just a side effect of the medication). U
  • Until mid november I was actually going around telling people I think I might not be depressed anymore, as I had felt for the first time in a way that I haven't felt since early childhood. I was able to accomplish incredible feats related to discipline and I saw my academic results improving greatly. Unfortunately this sentiment slowly faded away and I was back to my old self by the end of November.
• December - Now I was upped to 36mg of Methylphenidate and I noticed a much better control of my attention but unfortunately I have not felt that feeling of relief again. And as it seems the effectiveness of the dose diminished from the first few days to now.
  Since December I've had numerous breakdowns, feeling completely exhausted and burnt out. I suffered from classic problems of procrastination starting to work on difficult projects only a couple of days before the deadline and it was all crashing down. I submitted multiple disgustingly low quality pieces of work because I just did not work in time enough but the few days I did work I did incredible amounts of effort and I do feel like the pills helped me stay focused. After this deadline period though I was just met with my normal depression symptoms where I had a long streak of days that I could not even get out of bed or brush my teeth.

I don't know what more to do. I always knew I was broken and needed help. And for all my life I thought that seeing a psychiatrist is a last resort in case "I can't fix myself" on my own. Now it's been almost a whole year and I am in a critical time period where I need to excel and put in the work but I find myself succumbing to my symptoms while jumping up and down with the doses of some pills that barely seem to have an effect.

I didn't have many people around me from the start, and many of them would not understand my condition at all (nobody from my family does). But now it seems that even the few that were empathetic I have unfortunately tired out. I've heard my fair share of bad remarks that have gradually demoralised me (ADHD is not real. I'm just lazy. I just like to complain. etc) and due to the fact that I also have codependency problems this has greatly hurt me and made me feel like I am completely alone and nobody cares for my troubles or has my wellbeing in their best interest. Right now I just wish I'd know what to do. I wish there was some clear step by step goal oriented way to "happiness" or at least normality. I don't even know what more to tell my psychiatrist other than how I don't feel well, which is what I've been telling him since the start.

If you've been through a similar journey, I'd love to hear your experience and any advice you wish you had received earlier.

I'm starting the process of looking to buy a house. My partner uses a power wheelchair and anything we buy is going to need to be accessible or modifiable. So I know we're looking for a ranch, probably 3/2 at most is what will be affordable but I'm finalizing my pre-approval now.

That said... I'm almost 40 and I've never bought a house before. What are some things I need to know when looking at a house? I have a realtor and we're looking at our first place tomorrow. I'm bringing a measuring tape because the accessibility will matter.
But I don't even know where to start and what the normal questions are!

We bought our house over eight years ago and it came with a number of appliances. Within the first year, both the refrigerator and the dishwasher crapped out on us. We replaced them with new Frigidaire and Whirlpool models respectively, but I definitely haven't been satisfied with them. Now my washer and dryer are acting up and I'm not sure how much longer they've got.

When our fridge first started giving us issues, we had someone come out to try to fix the existing one. He basically told us that it would be around $400 to replace the failing motherboard on it — and given how simple that fridge was, it was essentially the price of a replacement. So you can't fix anything—you just throw it into a landfill and buy a new one.

The principle of "you get what you pay for" doesn't seem to apply, either. I don't need a fridge that has a 20-inch OLED screen for connecting to a Samsung account. Paying more just seems to get you more features that are likely to cause problems down the road.

Before we bought our replacement dishwasher, I got a subscription to Consumer Reports. The one we got was one of their recommendations. But it's just… not a good dishwasher. Little parts of it keep failing (e.g., the top rack's glassware holder-spine-thingies). And it's leaking, too!

So, to bring it back around to the subject title, how do you even find reliable appliances? Does anyone even make reliable appliances? It seems like there has been a race to the bottom among all of the appliance manufacturers (not that this is a unique to appliances, as this Vox piece explains). Long-term reliability doesn't move units off the showroom floor, so it doesn't get prioritized. (Plus there's the whole economic disincentive for "durable goods" to actually be durable.) And with model numbers changing annually, there's no good way to keep track of which models have proven reliability.

I won't bury the lede - my friend isn't non-monogamous or polyamorous, and that's the crux of the issue. At the least, he has never really considered non-monogamy before.

My (31F) marriage is uniquely suited for non-monogamy and has been for ten years strong, and my husband (30M) is entirely comfortable with what I'm proposing here. My biggest concern is the risk to my friend’s (30M) feelings and his perspective. So, before I speak to him about it, rather than seeking advice exclusively from people who practice ENM, I am actually curious what everyone might think of the situation. I also think Tildes probably has the only pool of monogamous people on the internet who would be interested in discussing this topic respectfully and approaching it with curiosity or empathy rather than disgust - I know it's a strange topic for most people.

Essentially, over the past two years I've been spending more and more time with a friend of mine. My husband is a pretty good friend of his, but they are not extremely close or best friends, they know each other through me. My friend doesn't date a lot, and we simply find ourselves drawn to spending a lot of time together, having very long conversations late at night, and doing things like going on a few vacations alone together. We haven't discussed it, but there is an overwhelming sense that we would probably date, had I been single when we met. He's very respectful of me and my marriage, but sometimes we each end up innocently flirting with the other - small compliments about our appearances, comments about how our “love languages” tend to be similar, etc. A few weeks ago he asked me if my husband and I have an open marriage (I don't often share that aspect of my life, my husband and I have been functionally “monogamous” since I've known my friend, and we haven't dated anyone else for quite some time.) I answered by saying that I actually do have an open marriage, yes. His question caught me off guard. I didn't expect him to ever ask because he doesn't seem like the type of person who would be interested in non-monogamy. So, I asked him what he thinks about non-monogamy, and he said he hasn't thought about it much, and has always been monogamous in past relationships. I wanted to think more about what to do next, so at the time I didn't let him know that I was specifically attracted to him.

Certainly, it may be very wise to accept that my friend is likely just monogamous, as most people tend to be, and simply continue on with our normal platonic friendship as it is. However, recently I'm finding it harder to contain my feelings on the matter, and he doesn't exactly make it any easier on me, because I really think he engages as well. Recently a mutual friend asked me if something was going on between us because she noticed him flirting with me. A couple of friends have agreed that the chemistry seems undeniable, so I don't think this is entirely one-sided.

At the least, I think I need to be honest with him that I'm attracted to him and open to some kind of romantic/sexual relationship with him. That way, if he says this makes him uncomfortable, I know I have to adjust my expectations and put proper boundaries in place. Of course, my hope is that he might be interested as well, at which point we can discuss what that would look like, but that's a separate topic because first I want to approach this with caution and respect.

I feel that it's really the sexual element that is up in the air. We already spend a lot of time together, and any purely monogamous person would probably already consider our behavior to be “emotional cheating,” if it happened to their marriage. I don't think most male/female friendships involve endless late night conversations, casual flirting, and prioritizing each other over other friends. To me, adding sex to the relationship seems like a no-brainer since we seem attracted to each other, but obviously most people wouldn't feel the same way.

Also, imagine the same situation, but with the genders flipped. We've all heard stories of unfortunate women who thought they had a great friendship with a man, only to eventually find out that the guy had been pining after her sexually for some time. My worst fear here is making my friend feel like our relationship was shallow, or that I was just trying to get something from him. But I didn't end up here on purpose, I just found myself here somehow - and I also would be more than happy to remain just friends with him if that's what he wants.

What would you think if you were a fairly monogamous person, and your close, non-monogamous friend admitted they have feelings for you? Would you be offended or hurt? Do you think there is a tactful way to bring it up? Would you prefer they never tell you, so you can just continue your friendship as normal, or for them to just move on without you if they can't let go of the idea?

Of course, the only real answer is that I won't know how he feels unless I ask him about it. I just thought I would talk this out with some kind strangers before jumping in. My brain seems quite wired for non-monogamy, and sometimes I struggle to see things from the perspective of monogamous people. Jealousy is not an emotion I have experienced often in relationships. I am flattered when any of my male or female friends admit attraction to me. Some of my friend groups are very queer and/or polyamorous, where behavior like dating your friends or being friends with ex-partners is fairly typical. But this friend is from a part of my life where non-monogamy is not as much of a given. I am also a bit worried about what our monogamous friends would think, as we do spend a lot of time in the same group of friends. I am worried that if he were to meet someone in the future who he wanted a relationship with, the woman wouldn't be comfortable having me around in the group, especially if I am still practicing non-monogamy at the time. I have many worries. Non-monogamy is complex. But mostly, I feel like this could work.

I know some of you are non-monogamous and I'm definitely interested in your thoughts, but I wanted to specify that I'm open to anyone else's take as well.

Hey Tilderinos! I tried this on r/guitar and had no dice, so figured I'd give it a shot here. I was playing bass a few weeks ago transcribing a line meant for guitar and suddenly felt like, uh, learning guitar. So I picked up a Squier CV Jazzmaster off FBM and have been plucking away, really enjoying learning it. Thank you to ~UniquelyGeneric for the Justin Guitar rec, his stuff is great.

I'm aware Jazzmasters notorious for requiring a proper setup, and I don't really mind while I'm getting some form stuff down - but I have noticed there's a bit of a
hiss happening when I pluck on the harder side that I didn't notice while I was testing it out. I made a recording on my audio interface here. There's also a bit of a hum which changes with the pickup selection and goes down with the tone knob. Does this sound like a particular issue and does anyone have a good guide to troubleshooting or addressing it? Not the worst thing if I adjust the volume right, but if I can pull it apart and fix it myself then hey. Thanks!

Backstory: Seemingly randomly, I was contacted by a company that saw a comment I made online about a previous area of expertise that they want to venture into and have asked if I'd like to be a consultant to them.

I've never been a consultant, dealt with them directly, or have any idea what would be expected of me as one. Looking up consultants and consultancies and what they do has provided zero insight as they seem to be purposefully vague or overly broad.

Starter questions (I realize they're vague and I'll have follow up questions as I get a handle on this):

1. If you are or have been a consultant, were you independent or part of a firm?
2. What do you actually do?
3. What did/do you charge for your consultancy services?

I've been slowly fiddling around with setting up a little homelab and media server for the last few months. As a web developer, I've always wanted to learn a bit more of the infrastructure side of things, hence the homelab part. The deteriorating quality of major streaming services finally pushed me to set up a media server as well.

Right now, my setup is very basic. I've been using an old repurposed office laptop. It's a simple dell latitude 5540 I got ridiculously cheap due to it's barely usable crusty keyboard, but since I mainly SSH into it that's not really an issue. I formatted it, doubled the ram, and installed the latest stable Debian release. (Headless)

After that, I chose to install yams which was recommended here. Definitely saved a lot of time there! Finally, I added an old unisex raspberry pi I had lying around. The idea is that it's the only part of the setup that is on 24/7, since it has an almost negligible footprint. Whenever I want the main server running, I SSH into the raspberry and use wakeonLAN to start the main server. I'm probably gonna make a tiny web interface for that soon.

Now on to the part I need advice for. The laptop and attached HD are quickly running out of space. I know just slapping on extra hard drives has a limit, and am vaguely aware of things like unraid existing, but am a bit overwhelmed right now with all the information and options in this space.

Does anyone have some advice on something I can tackle for a reasonable amount of work/budget? Something basic, but with the possibility of expansion in the future?

Any other tips on where to go next in general are of course also appreciated. (On that note, I'm right now not opening up the server to ingress from outside. I only interact with it on the home network, as I primarily work from home)

I will shortly be travelling for work. I do not have the capacity to bring anything other than my work machine. In addition to working every day I would like to: legally stream movies in the evening, work on writing, email friends etc. At home of course I use a separate laptop for this but in this case I won't have that option. Any thoughts on how best to achieve a separation of concerns while travelling? How do people on Tildes manage this case?

p.s I know in a best case scenario it's not ideal, hence my behaviour at home, I just need a working method for this particular case.

I bought a Pixel 6 Pro unlocked a couple of years ago as my long term phone. It's what I like to do, buy a phone for 5+ years of use and get a cheap sim card. It's fine. If I could choose again I would have got the Samsung flagship instead.
I've since moved country and I'm in need of a dual sim phone (because I don't want 2 phones) for my home country and new one. But guess what, Pixel 6 pro is a single sim phone.
So that puts me in an uncomfortable position where I don't want to get a new phone yet (I'm 3 years out what I wanted to run this phone to) but I'd hate to get a second, crap phone just for a new number.

If I need to replace the Pixem, I would like to get another flagship (or close to) if possible. I like the bells and whistles. I simply wanted to avoid rebuying so early and see if there were options I had not yet considered.

It was suggested to try and recycle the Pixel, I'd get maybe €200 for it if I'm lucky, and it would help taking the cost out of a replacement flagship, but would still be expensive.

Any other suggestions for how I could navigate this?

Edit: thanks to @thecakeisalime for the esim suggestion. I've contacted my home network and got transfered to an esim in genuinely 15 minutes. That's opened the sim slot for the new number. Pretty much perfect solution!

As per subject really.

I'm creating a project with the CEO at work and it's going to need some serious AI. I'm happy to speak about it here and take advice and tips for direction and resources. I'm going to definitely be hiring real human resource to get this going though.

The project is a masters library of video. Anyone that has seen me post before might know I run a server of roughly 10k of videos, all company IP, of TV shows from over the years. What I'd like to do is point AI at the video library and have it build out a serious database of information, or at least a sidecar JSON of information next to every video. Some things I really don't need AI for and can easy generate, such as video length, type, audio channels, codec, bitrate, etc. All of that can be gleamed with the usual suspect tools such as mediainfo or ffprobe. What I'd like AI to do is scan for faces and identify names of celebs (if possible), sections of video at 5 seconds in length containing railway, trees, cars, etc logged to build out a database of video that we have. It would also need to log time codes of where these clips are and for how long.

I know it sounds like a crazy project, but it will be fun and possibly the start of a new product which I would open source. Don't tell my boss that but if we're using open source models and free shit to create these awesome beast, I'd want to give back to the community.

So, ideas on where I would find people interested and talented with this sort of thing? Any thoughts on what else you'd think I should target to capture from a massive video library? I will be grabbing the clock card info too so OCR is a must.

Soooo much to think about. Project plan coming up.

Howdy all,

TL;DR - Installed new cabinets, picked up new butcher block countertops to match existing. Stained it - using the Minwax stain and planned on using Watco Butcher Block finish to finish it. I am concerned about food safety and health. Note I am not using these as actual cutting boards. Just countertops. Would using the Watco finish be safe/sufficient for sealing the stain?

So to give a little context, my wife and I moved into our home close to 5 years ago. The person who flipped our house put in standard big box birch butcher block countertops. We like them! They stained them a nice dark color and we have not thought much about them. From what they mentioned, they "finished" the counters with the Watco Butcher Block finish. Occasionally the areas near the sink get grey and dry from water and could use a clean/restoration. Of which I have been using Howard butcher block conditioner and I think it does a great job of giving the wood some life.

Now I finally got around to installing some more cabinets, and I picked up another countertop. Obviously wanting it to match, I just used the same Minwax stain that the flipper used. I had planned on sanding all of the old countertops re-applying the stain and then coating in some urethane-like topcoat in hopes of helping stop the discoloration and make the counter more durable.

This lead me down a rabbit hole of a bunch of people online basically yelling about putting anything other than butcher block finish or mineral oil on butcher block countertops and how its not food safe/toxic. So naturally this kind of freaked me out. Is the stain on the current counters harmful? Do I need to sand everything and then reapply with just a food safe option? Can I just sand and add a poly topcoat? Or am I fine to just have the stain on it and use the Watco butcher block finish? AM I POISONING MYSELF?!

I would like to add we do not use these countertops as actual cutting boards. We always use a "real" cutting board.

Really I am just looking for some advice or a sanity check to make sure I'm not harming ourselves. Hoping this could also help someone else learn without having to do it the hard way.

Thanks all so much for any info anyone is willing to provide.

I've been using syncthing for a while now and more recently I've started to use a VPS but I find it to be a mild pain in the ass to setup and I'm wondering if there's a better way or just how are you administering?

I've been just editing the config.xml file and restarting it. It feels clunky editing it in nano especially when I have to delete a folder or remove a device.

I'm starting up on a new VPS and doing this initial setup again is mildly frustrating.

Another question, a friend is also going to be backing up some files onto this server (both of us treating it as untrusted), would it be better practice to set up 2 users each running their own syncthing@user service or just have it all under one?

Kid's vision just keeps getting worse: it's -3.0 now in one eye. The rate at which I have to get the kid's vision tested and new glasses (plural because kid) is alarming.

My husband and I both have 20/20, as did both our parents before they got old people eye stuff....so I'm really new to the world of prescription glasses.

What's real and what are just old wives tales? Go outside more, get sun, limit screen time, don't read in the dark, these are kind of obvious but are they scientifically backed? I take super terrible care of my eyes and eyeballs are nearly touching the screens all day and I still have 20/20.....

Eye drops that fix your eyes? Omega 3 do anything or just in general a good nutrient for everyone?

Myopia control lenses (Miyosmart) -- legit or marketing hype? They seem to be a bunch of money and the brochures / site reads a bit like marketing nonsense...... How does a piece of lens fix eyeballs?

Did you get Lasik? Is it still the thing to do for correction, and has it gotten better? Could my kid reach a point where even Lasik can't help?

When did you get glasses and did the uh, progression (?) slow down or get better with age?

Edit: what about blue light lenses?

Ah, being 30. I haven't been 30 for even a full month yet, but I'm already feeling it. I bent over to pet one of my smaller kittens, except I kept doing it for longer than usual. Normally I'd pick it up and pet it, but not this time.

Now my lower back is aching and it hurts to move, especially trying to turn over in bed (I'm a side sleeper). It will eventually stop hurting until I need to change my posture or position again. It's better today than it was yesterday so it is healing. There have been no sharp pains, numbness in the legs or anything, etc. Just a strong ache. It's a bit difficult to walk, but it's manageable.

As for whether it's a slipped disk, pulled muscle, etc, I truly don't know. This has happened before in similar situations, so I'm expecting it'll happen again, probably more often as I get older.

Does anyone know some tips to speed up the healing process, and what I can do to improve my comfort while healing? I already know to take it easy, put ice on it, and take Advil, so I'm looking for other tips besides those.

Edit: I appreciate everyone's suggestions and recommendations! After speaking with my co-worker, I think we'll got with a Managed WordPress solution. Still have a lot more to discuss and figure out, but I suspect that'll at least put us on the right footing. Thanks!

Hello Tilderinos. I need your knowledge and advice.

The organization I work for wants to build a new website. Traditionally, we've used an AMS, which is an Association Management System. These are typically used by non-profits, which is what we are, a voluntary regulatory non-profit. It combines a CMS with a CRM in a proprietary package. It's also entirely hosted and managed by the AMS developer, which is typical for these platforms. Basically a turnkey solution.

We have a web designer/developer-yet-doesn't-want-wear-the-developer-mantle and me, who's really more of a desktop support/low level sysadmin for our small organization. I'm jack of all many trades, master of none.

Our web designer is really interested in either self-hosting WordPress or even looking into a headless CMS. He wants more creative and functional control over our website than what we currently with our AMS. We are very limited to what we can do right now, since we're playing in the AMS' sandbox with only some HTML/CSS and light JS use. Anyway, from there, we'd use API calls to query the new CRM that's currently being built out (it's a proprietary one, akin to Salesforce) to generate dynamic content.

I could go out and get webhosting at like a GoDaddy (I wouldn't use GoDaddy) or somewhere like that. I've done that before for some smaller auxiliary sites. Sites that, if they go down for a day or two, it's kinda NBD, while I try to figure out what's going on and reach out to the webhost for assistance. I literally just did that earlier this week on one of those sites.

But this would be our main website. And we have a global customer and stakeholder base. People are always on our website 24/7. I'm hesitant to commit to doing it this way because I feel like there's so much that would drop into our laps that we don't know how to handle. What happens when the site goes down for some reason? Is there a failover? How do I even set that up? How do we do backups and rollbacks? How about security issues? How do I harden the site and system? What happens if we do get hacked? We've discussed the issues with WordPress, which are many. How do we deal with all those issues on our own? I don't know the answer to any of these.

Like I said above, we don't have to deal with any of those questions right now. Our AMS provider deals with all that. I'm sure they have a team in a NOC or similar that watches the infrastructure 24/7. Part of what we pay them is so they can handle all that. No way in hell my co-worker and I are willing or able to do all that. And it's not that I'm not willing to learn how to do all this stuff, but to me, this seems like the wrong venue and time to be learning on the fly.

Idk. Are my concerns overblown? Is it really just as easy as getting some webhosting space somewhere and installing WP or some headless CMS and letting my web dev go to town? I know my co-worker could build the site out. I'm just not sure if I could support it all during and afterwards.

Any advice or suggestion would be appreciated. Because right now, him and I are going around in circles trying to figure this out, ha. Thanks.

I'm currently working on decluttering, and coming up with processes to stop clutter from building up in the future.

Even after getting rid of a bunch of junk, I'll be left with a ton of stuff that historically has just "floated around" my living space (cables, adapters, small tools, stationary, batteries, etc...).

I'd ideally want a bunch of appropriately sized containers that I can organize stuff into. I'd love for each box to be some tesselation of a standard volume, so that I can arrange and stack those containers neatly in a drawer or on a desk.

If you happen to work with 3D printing, this may sound a lot like Gridfinity, a modular open-source grid storage system. And I agree! Gridfinity's goals completely meet and shoot past what I'm looking for. But I currently have no interest in investing the money or time into buying a 3D printer and making prints. And there doesn't appear to be an obvious commercial version outside of "random" folks on Etsy.

I also considered getting a Drawer Grid like you'd see in a Maker Space. I might end up getting this if I can't find a better option, though I'd prefer a storage solution I can stuff in a drawer.

I was curious if:

• Anyone had any product recommendations that might fit the bill
• Anyone had any thoughts on the organizational endeavor itself, and if there are any ways I could be going about this better.

[SOLVED]

... well, this is in many ways very unsatisfying, because I have no idea why this worked, but I seem to have fixed it.

Server A has two Ethernet ports, an Intel I219V and a Killer E3100. Several months ago, when trying to debug sporadic btrfs errors (I had my RAM installed incorrectly!), I had disabled some unused devices in BIOS, including the Killer Ethernet port.

Since I had no other ideas, and it seemed like this was somehow specific to this server, I just re-enabled the Killer port and switched the Ethernet cable to that port. I'm now getting 300 Mb/s transfers from my wireless devices to my server, exactly as expected.

I'm gonna like... go for a walk or something. Thank you so much to everyone who helped me rule out all of the very many things this could have been! I love this place, you all are so kind and supportive.

Original:

I'm trying to debug a perplexing networking situation, and I could use some guidance if anyone has any.

Here's my setup:

• UniFi Security Gateway
• UniFi Switch Lite
• Two UAPs
• Two servers, A and B, connected to the USW-Lite with GbE
• Many wireless devices, connected to the UAPs

Here's what I'm experiencing:

• Network transfers from the wireless devices to server A (as measured by iperf3 tests) are very slow. Consistently between 10 and 20 Mb/s.
• Network transfers from server A to all devices are expected speeds. 900-1000 Mb/s to server B, 350-ish Mb/s to wireless devices.
• Network transfers between server B and all devices (in both directions!) are expected speeds.
• Network transfers from the USG to server A also seem slow, which is odd. Only about 60 MB/s.
• Network transfers from the USG to server B and the wireless devices is about 300 MB/s

So, specifically network transfers from any wireless device to server A are slow, and no other connections have any issues that I can see.

Some potentially relevant details:

• Server A is running Unraid
• Server B is running Ubuntu
• Wireless devices include a Fedora laptop, an iPhone, and a Macbook Pro
• UniFi configuration is pretty straightforward. I have a few ports forwarded, a guest WiFi network (that none of these devices are on), a single default VLAN, and two simple "Allow LAN" firewall rules for Wireguard on the USG. No other firewall or routing config that I'm aware of.

If anyone has any thoughts at all on how to continue debugging, I would be immensely grateful! I suppose the next step would be to try to determine whether it's the networking equipment or the server itself that is responsible for the throttling, but I'm not sure how best to do that.

I've got time now to browse tildes again, until I broke my arm last week, been busy with life otherwise.
It's a nice thought to get time off work, but not a nice thought when most my hobbies involve my hands.
Of course appreciate the support by my partner, family and friends. Very thankful I have them.
But with my independence floundering, I hate spending my days either sleeping or eating or mindlessly scrolling though social media.

Looking to hear stories of broken limbs and how you've coped and adapted, and advice on physically navigating with one arm. Carrying a cup of tea and then needing to open a door, how to open a jar with one hand, cooking (or not cooking) and all else

How do you make sure that your Docker containers don't go rogue and start snooping around or contacting external servers that they shouldn't be talking to? Is there a network traffic monitoring program that I could use? Or a service that would notify me about vulnerabilities in containers that I have installed?

Some background:

Last year, I asked help setting up my new Synology NAS, and many of you wonderful people offered some really, really good advice. I have recently started to play around with Docker containers more, and I am a little uneasy about the idea that my NAS is home to my files, my own scripts, and Docker containers made by other people, and that it is always on and these containers have constant internet access. I don't have the time (or frankly the skills) to verify the contents of the containers beyond making sure that they come from reputable sources, but I would like to have a bit more peace of mind and make sure that things remain private and secure.

My setup at the moment is the following: I have a Synology DS923+ and I manage Docker containers with Synology's Container Manager, using docker compose files. I have so far put all containers into the same virtual network (perhaps something I need to think about), which is a separate IP range from my other devices, and has internet access through my DNS. I use Synology's DNS Server (for everything in my home network) and Reverse Proxy so that I can use local domain names and HTTPS. For HTTPS, I have made myself a certificate authority and created the necessary certificates and installed them on my devices. No ports are opened on the router and things like UPnP are turned off. I use Tailscale to access my home network when not at home. And while I have not yet done so, I have been considering setting up some firewall rules, for instance to restrict access to the DSM. I use 2FA for the NAS and its SSH is turned on only when I need to use it.

Hi all,
I don't know where to turn on this. I work in a small company, my boss who is an amazing person and has given me so much and helped me really kick start my career has had some accusations over the past little while. But now I've heard a few stories that really show that he's done some shady stuff. My boss has been like a brother to me and is a close friend. I have no idea how to digest this and I have no idea who I could talk to, so I'm just posting here.

I don't want to lose a friend, he's been nothing but amazing to me.

Edit: thank you everyone. I'll keep reading the comments. I just need to reflect on this and I appreciate your discussions.

Edit 2: There is proof enough to not deny things, inappropriate and agressive advances and groping stuff. Nothing good.

The company I work for laid off half of my office this week. I'm one of the survivors, and trying to process what happened.

The company has been transparent about revenues. However, we had no idea that we would be so badly penalized for management choices that created significant operating cost overruns in the face of a projected short-term demand decline. I've lost half the members of my immediate team, good friends, people whose work and thoughtfulness I deeply respected. The entire department structure is being upended. The harshness of the selection for people who were being laid off included a teammate who's in the hospital, parents of young children, people on the edge of retirement. I'm suspicious and extra hostile towards the company - it's very significant to me that all the people of color and people who've had recent medical leave are among the lost.

It's not the first time I've watched and survived a company's poor management and bad choices, but this is by far the worst. I've worked very hard at staying professional with the customers this week. I'm still inwardly seething with rage. I'm trying to figure out how to be supportive to the people who are leaving. I'm trying to figure out how to help a team lead who's in his first management job, and is totally devastated and nearly frozen with helplessness. I'm decent at my job, but don't know why I was kept and others with equal or greater skills were let go. I don't feel good about what qualities I might have had that corporate desired to keep - dutifulness, compliance, amiability, reticence?

At the same time, I'm looking at months of double workload even though corporate management claims they'll outsource part of the duties (so that's another symptom that I'm replaceable) and manage the task pipeline. There's a frankly insulting retention bonus if I stay for another year. We've gotten the usual anodyne HR garbage about the employee assistance program and coping skills. The corporate management's left us with the ominous "stay tuned for further announcements over the coming weeks".

I don't have a lot of choices here. I'm trying hard to stay focused on the present, without looking over the cliff of dread at the future. At the moment, I'm the sole support for our household and source of health insurance. My spouse is badly burnt out, and I don't want him to look for work a minute before he's healthy and enthusiastic about a job. I'm a late-50's end-career professional who wouldn't normally have much interest in restarting yet again elsewhere. I very deliberately chose this company, job and location, liked the work I was doing, the people I was doing it with, and I was looking forward to building on it. There's still the possibility that our half-vacant remote office will be closed and consolidated with the corporate headquarters. I have less than zero interest in relocating, and plan to keep separated coworkers who live here as personal friends.

I'll be grateful to hear any advice on coping with this situation, and hope the replies will be helpful to others in future.

I do not like using mouse. I feel it disturbs the flow of things I am doing. Moreover, I like quickly pressing through a bunch of keystrokes that results in what I want. There is a sense of satisfaction in that.

For starters, I use Vim and love it. I liked it so much that all my browsers have Vim-like keybindings (through Vimium or Tridactyl). But that is as far as I have gone in making my life easier (apart from switching windows via Command+Tab, but for all else I need to use mouse).

I recently bought a MacBook and it is kind of disappointing that the keybindings are not so intuitive or don't exist natively as they do in Windows. For example, resizing the window was easier on Windows with Win+arrow. There are many such things I find lacking on Mac. Broadly, I am asking for what other improvements can I bring into better my keyboard-centric workflow.

I have looked at various editors, but those I came across all had their own build-in file navigator which they insisted you'd use. I always hate that; it's the one thing I dislike about Godot. So is there one where you can simply open your .md files directly from Windows?

Edit: What I'm after is WYSIWYG, not just synstax highlighting.

We are planning a trip to Norway in February (toward the end).

The plan is to arrive into Oslo and take the first flight to Tromso, and spend several days there enjoying the city and embarking on several activities including:

• Fjord River Boat Tour
• Dog Sledding
• Aurora Chasing
• (maybe) Cross Country Skiing
• Visiting the Ice Domes
• Visiting Museums
• Visiting a spa

On the way back we'd like to visit Bergen for a couple of days and have yet to plan this part at all.

Any locals or people who have already visited: Is there anything you think would be a shame to miss out on while we're there? Anything you think is a waste of time and / or money?

We are doing this trip on a budget. Ultimately, Norway is expensive so "on a budget" means, we're taking cheap flights and not staying in luxury accommodation for the most part.

One last thing: I am planning to propose on this trip. I would love any advice on somewhere romantic to actually pop the question. My current plan is to do it on the aurora chasing trip if we get lucky, but otherwise I need a couple of backup plans.

Heyyy Tilderinos! I'm getting my first tat tomorrow - planning on a Lopunny and Mega Lopunny on my bicep that I'd love to turn into a patchwork sleeve of my other favorite Pokemon down the line. Bouncing between really excited and really nervous! What's some general advice you'd give?

I just completed this puzzle (although it's missing 1 piece, which I wrote to them to see if they can replace because the alternative would be to buy a 2nd copy and shift through 4500 pieces to find the one I need). I want to hang it on my wall!

Edit: Found the missing piece!!!

Right now it's on my living room floor (pencil for scale) on 9 pieces of poster board that I taped together. But, I am not sure if this is the best surface to permanently attach it to. Does anyone have any recommendation on how to glue/seal this & mount it?

I also want to apply some kind of protective coat in addition to just gluing it together/to something to prevent damage, so if the method to do that is different from the method to mount it I'm also interested in that.

Hi everyone!

I am moving to Colorado from Oregon late February and will be driving with my cat. I am shipping my belongings separately so it’s just us in the car.

We will be traveling through Idaho, Utah, and Colorado. I have never been through any of these states, particularly this time of year. My planned route is

Day 1 - Portland, OR -> Boise, ID
Day 2 - Boise, ID -> Salt Lake City, UT
Day 3 - Salt Lake City, UT -> Grand Junction, CO
Day 4 - Grand Junction, CO -> Denver, CO

Because of the time of year, I wanted to see if anyone had tips for traveling this route. I have checked average temperatures for the cities I’ll be stopping in for that time of year but I know that’s not the full story. I’m also going to get my car checked out before the long drive to make sure all is well. I have all season tires that are newer and chains already in the car.

I have a first aid kit, will bring a few blankets and some food/water for both me and the cat (Marge), a battery pack, and a few days of clothes for the traveling. That’s all I could think of.

Does anyone have suggestions or tips for this 1200+ mile trip? Also, my cat has only ever been in the car for about 3 hours at most. She’s sometimes anxious and sometimes chill. If anyone has suggestions for traveling with a cat in the car for up to 7 hours per day, that would also be appreciated!

I'm traveling with my wife to Italy (Rome, Florence) for our Honeymoon. We're American and looking for any suggestions on what to bring/wear, tips/tricks we might need to know, or anything you feel would be relevant. We have a basic itinerary with some guided tours through the "main" tourist attractions like the Vatican, Colosseum, The Pantheon, The Accademia Gallery, the Uffizi Gallery, and a few day trips. But we know not everything is going to take all day.

Do you have recommendations for things to do to "fill" the day? Anything to avoid? Things to bring that we might not think of? Any general tips/thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi all,

I'm looking for some advice as a first time visitor to SE Asia. I'm an experienced traveller I've just not made it to that part of the world yet. To give some context on my trip, I recently lost somebody very close to me, it was very sudden and painful and I'm just coming around to sitting with it after the surreality of being in it. Planning funerals, scattering ashes etc.

I don't suspect I'll find any answers travelling but I do have a strong desire to be as far away from where I am currently as possible and to just press pause for a while. I will be working while I'm away (unfortunately I cannot afford the time off) so I guess that is a factor too.

I am not interested in partying or the noise of major cities so where possible I guess I would like to avoid that.

My trip is planned for April and May. All I have so far is starting in Hanoi and ending in Singapore.

Any advice on routes/places to visit on the way are appreciated. As ever thanks to this wonderful community.

I'm returning home from a trip and am on my 4th layover in a nightmarish series of delayed flights and last minute changes; when I get home it will be 5 degrees (F) which was not the forecasted temp when I left, so I did not make any kind of preparations and left my car in uncovered long term parking, a 5-ish minute walk from the airport. It dipped into negative temps while I was gone and I'm terrified that I'll get back to a car with frozen locks and no lighter, lock de-freezer, hair dryer, etc, anything to help me get in. I've searched for advice but everything I've read seems to assume you're at home, not at a airport. I'm already so drained and exhausted and it will be late when I get there so I'm just trying to find something, anything that might be helpful in advance before I'm stuck standing outside in unexpectedly, dangerously frigid weather with no plan in jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie. Apologies if something like this has been posted, I couldn't find anything and feel like I'm about to collapse. Any advice is appreciated, even obvious things, I'm sure I may have overlooked something that would be clear to someone else. Posting this before I board my next flight in the hopes there may be some replies by the time I get home. Thank you for reading

Update: made it back, took an Uber home and will pick up my car either tomorrow or the day after during the day. I should have thought of it myself and feel silly that I didn't. Thank you all so much for the feedback, really saved me some stress, I probably shouldn't have driven home even had it not been so cold out with how tired I was. Will definitely use all the advice here to be more prepared when leaving during the winter in the future, no matter the forecast.

I'm curious how you tech oriented people handle this and whether you react in the same way to tech frustrations as I do. Advice is welcome.

I hate hate hate the black box aspect of dealing with computer technology. When I try to do something and it fails to work for reasons that are opaque or inscrutable it causes me to react with rage. I haven't quite thrown my computer out the window when something fails to work as expected, but I want to and it ruins my mood and makes me irritable and difficult to deal with until the problem is solved.

Do other people react the same way? How do you mitigate this? I'm currently needing to learn and use more tech skills and interact with more programs than I have in the recent past. What advice do you have?

Thanks

I've been spending a lot of time working on developing my singing voice, and I'm starting to push into a loud, yelling voice at the upper end of my register. It sounds awesome, but it kind of hurts and makes me wonder if this sort of thing is sustainable long-term.

Someone like Dave Grohl (great example of the type of vocals I'm trying to emulate) seems to have made a career singing like this, so I'm pretty sure there's a way. I guess I'm mostly wondering if there's any sort of "progression" or way to do it properly vs improperly.

Does it get easier? Will my vocal chords adapt? Mostly I'm just wondering if I can keep doing this without sacrificing vocal range in the future.

I'm new to Tildes, and searched for this question but didn't find a topic covering this. I've read the instructions, and I know comments that contribute to the topic are much more desired here, and that, in theory, you shouldn't just comment something another commenter has said. Does this apply to thanking another commenter, or even the original poster of a thread? Say someone replied to me with a useful comment. Should I rather thank them or just upvote them? Would the former increase noise.

I know I'm unlikely to get an absolute anwer, but I'd rather ask the community for pointers than assume.

I am in the EU.

I asked a company in which I had an account to delete my account. They told me they would do that as long as I sent them an ID and a postal address. This is to ensure that "I am the right person".

I never gave them an ID and a postal address in the first place so how would that verify anything, and I'm using the email that I used to sign-up with them to ask for the deletion.

Am I in the wrong to believe that this should be easier? Are they misinterpreting the GDPR or am I?

What are my options if I do not want to send my ID and postal address?

--

Their arguments are:

Article 5(1)(f) of the GDPR requires us to meet security obligations in data processing. Since data deletion is permanent, we need to ensure that the request is indeed from the person concerned.

Furthermore, Article 12(6) of the GDPR states: "…when the data controller has reasonable doubts concerning the identity of the natural person making the request referred to in Articles 15 to 21, he may request the provision of additional information necessary to confirm the identity of the data subject."

Hello tabletop peeps! I have completed a monster design for my first ever boss creature, and I wanted to get some quick feedback. This is all based on a previous post where I got ideas from y'all, here: https://tildes.net/~games.tabletop/1cjn/designing_my_first_dnd_boss_fight_with_a_giant_mimic_5x_lvl_5_characters

Players are a group of 5 lvl 5 characters, fairly magic heavy and lower hp overall.

The boss creature is a mimic that appears to be a large stone fountain with blood in it. If a PC touches it or stabs it, then they (or their weapon) will be grappled for the start of combat. At that point, the mimic will sprout 6 tentacles that each can travel up to 40ft from the main body and wield a weapon. All tentacles will operate on the same turn as the main body.

Healing Pool in the boss room

The boss room is a large room with a pool in it where blood is mixed with water that has flowed over a magic crystal to produce a healing solution. The idea is that the PCs will figure out that they can either heal themselves by dipping into the pool, prevent the boss from getting close to the pool, or that they can break the magic crystal to prevent the boss from healing. Several of the boss abilities reference this pool.

Mimic main body:

STR 16 (+3)
DEX 10 (+0)
CON 20 (+5)
INT 16 (+3)
WIS 12 (+1)
CHA 8 (-1)

HP 200
Main body loses 20hp if a tentacle dies

Armor Class: 13
Speed: 15 ft
Proficiency Bonus: 2
Damage Resistances: None
Immunities: Poison, Acid, Sleep, Charm

Abilities

Harden: Cannot take other actions, harden body to stone and increase AC to 18, as well as resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, cold, fire
Spew Blood: Begin charging up blood, PCs can see mouth direction. At the beginning of next turn, spew acidic blood in a 180 degree arc for 30 ft. Deals 3d6 acid damage, half damage on DEX 14 save. Mimic main body cannot do anything on its next turn as it recovers.
Chomp: +5 to hit. 1d12+3 piercing damage
Charge: If no arms are left, it will spew blood from the back and charge at a target. Increase speed to 45ft, and deal (+5 to hit) 4d6+3 bludgeoning damage to a target. Dex15 save for half damage.

Sword Tentacle (x3)

HP 20
Armor Class 13
Speed 30 ft
Damage Resistances: None
Damage Immunities: Poison, Acid

Abilities

Harden: Cannot take other actions, harden body to stone and increase AC to 18, as well as resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, cold, fire
Heal: If the healing pool is nearby, soak arm in the pool to heal it fully, and heal the main body for 15hp. Alternatively, resurrect a different defeated tentacle instead of healing self or the main body.
Slice: +5 to hit. 1d8+3 slashing damage

Shield Tentacle (x1)

HP 20
Armor Class 13
Speed 30 ft
Damage Resistances: None
Damage Immunities: Poison, Acid

Abilities

Harden: Cannot take other actions, harden body to stone and increase AC to 18, as well as resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, cold, fire
Heal: If the healing pool is nearby, soak arm in the pool to heal it fully, and heal the main body for 15hp. Alternatively, resurrect a different defeated tentacle instead of healing self or the main body.
Shield Bash: +5 to hit. 1d4 + 3 bludgeoning damage
Defend: As a reaction, give disadvantage to an attack when an ally 5ft away is attacked

Crossbow Tentacle (x1)

HP 20
Armor Class 13
Speed 30 ft
Damage Resistances: None
Damage Immunities: Poison, Acid

Abilities

Harden: Cannot take other actions, harden body to stone and increase AC to 18, as well as resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, cold, fire
Heal: If the healing pool is nearby, soak arm in the pool to heal it fully, and heal the main body for 15hp. Alternatively, resurrect a different defeated tentacle instead of healing self or the main body.
Heavy Crossbow shot: +2 to hit. 1d10 piercing damage

Handy Tentacle (x1)

HP 20
Armor Class 13
Speed 30 ft
Damage Resistances: None
Damage Immunities: Poison, Acid

Abilities

Harden: Cannot take other actions, harden body to stone and increase AC to 18, as well as resistance to bludgeoning, piercing, slashing, cold, fire. Cannot harden when grappling a PC.
Heal: If the healing pool is nearby, soak arm in the pool to heal it fully, and heal the main body for 15hp. Alternatively, resurrect a different defeated tentacle instead of healing self or the main body.
Grapple: +5 to hit. Grab a target, they can avoid it with a DC16 strength saving throw. If the target is successfully grappled, they can escape with a DC14 strength save at the start of their turn.
Squeeze: If a target is grappled, squeeze them for 1d6+3 bludgeoning damage.
Throw juice: If the healing pool is within range, scoop up a handful of purple juice and throw it at a skeleton to resurrect it.

Potential Adds

There are two skeletons in the room that can be resurrected by the Handy Tentacle with it's "throw juice" ability, should the fight is too easy for the PCs or they are hanging back too far. These adds are Boneknights from page 6 on this link: https://www.gmbinder.com/share/-Mv5UKsPhrHkBqSf9vo1

Conclusion and Questions

Is this a fun boss? I aim to have the tentacles each fighting a different person, so I don't think I'll wipe the party out too quickly, but I know of the mystical "action economy" and I might be overdoing things.

Also, how do I rate the CR of such a creature? And how much gold should a party earn for such a fight? Thanks for helping out a new DM!

Hey y'all, I was wondering if anyone had any advice/warnings/comments/thoughts/etc. about an anniversary trip (10 years!) my partner and I are planning for late May. For context, I have been to the UK before a few years back but my partner has not. Also, I'm American and I've never driven anywhere but the US. This is the rough and very basic itinerary:

Day 0: Edinburgh

• Land in Edinburgh
• Check in to hotel
• Wander around the city

Day 1: Edinburgh

• Rent car
• Drive to St. Andrews
• Drive around in the Scottish Highlands

Day 2: Edinburgh > Redmire

• Drive south to a bed and breakfast in Redmire
• Check out the English countryside

Day 3: Redmire > Manchester

• Drive to Manchester
• Turn in car
• Check in to hotel

Day 4: Manchester > Bath

• Take a train to Bath
• Wander around Bath
• Stay at bed and breakfast

Day 5: Bath > London

• Take train to London
• Check in to hotel
• Do touristy things
• Eat a lot of food

Day 6: London

• Anniversary dinner

Day 7: London

• Wander around
• Eat a lot of food

Day 8: London

• Depart from Heathrow

I fully intend to add plan out the details and activities as we get closer, though I would be grateful for any recommendations for things to do or places to see. It's my partner's real first time out of the country and given it's an anniversary trip I wanted it to be mostly relaxed.

The first half or so of the trip is predicated on me, an American who drives on the right, driving good distances in the UK. I've plenty of experience doing long distance driving in the US, it's mostly the driving on the opposite side that concerns me. Is this recommended? Would it be better to just use rideshares or transit in the cities and take trains over the longer stretches between instead of a mini-roadtrip? Thanks y'all!

EDIT:
Thank you everyone for your thoughtful responses! I will try to get to as many as I can as soon as I can!

I'm trying to make my own truffle chips for the wife after having it at a nice bar together. Any suggestions as to the types of chips or truffle seasoning? I'm going to try to buy a bag of regular chips, put it into a bowl, and just shake with some truffle salt and truffle oil (real kind not synthetic flavor).

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

*Thanks everyone! Looks like it's time to do it properly instead of the lazy way...