Warning at the outset: This is mostly an unstructured rant, so no claims are made as to coherency or clarity. I am as much trying to get things off my chest as I am asking for advice.

I met my fiancée (let's call her B—) almost two years ago, and we connected immediately. Our values align closely, we have a lot of common experiences (having kids young; growing up as a middle child in a middle class family; both having come to queerness late in life being chief among them), and we were both absolutely dedicated to being silly and carefree with each other. B— calls it the "yes and," and it's something we're quite good at generally. I moved into B—'s place about 8 months after meeting, and 4 months after that we were engaged. We're due to be married in May this year. In general, it's been pretty smooth sailing, but the past four months or so have been increasingly stressful, and are making me feel like the relationship is falling apart.

Both B— and I are in some way neurodivergent, though neither of us has a formal diagnosis. She has all the classic symptoms of ADHD, and I am very confident that I am autistic. Our needs often feel diametrically opposed, and it's putting a massive strain on the relationship. Our house is in constant disarray, and B— apportions this chaos to "just part of having kids" and "and inevitable cycle," while leaving out the fact that she does little and less to actually contribute to the smooth running of the place. The only time she will make a meal is if I'm not actually present to do so. And her capacity for cleaning up is to do approximately half a chore every few days. Meanwhile I am tasked with doing all of the cooking and meal-planning for everyone, all of the shopping to fill the cupboards, and all of the cleaning after every mealtime to ensure that there is a clean and tidy enough kitchen for the next one. B— is so consumed by stress and shame that she becomes immediately paralysed by the prospect of any task that is not for her own specific edification. I feel like I am waging a lone war against a building that is not fit for purpose, against combatants who will with absurd immediacy undo any progress I actually make.

And I think that stress and shame is one of the core problems. We both feel it, and we both handle it in unhealthy ways. My habit is to take on the lion's share of the responsibility with a view to keeping the peace, and while sublimating my own need for rest, recuperation, and solitude. B— on the other hand will meet anything that could be construed as criticism by completely shutting down and refusing to engage with any discussion. Case in point, last night in a conversation where we were trying to figure out how best to repair our relationship, I made the point that I feel unsupported in doing the housework on top of parenting and my job, and she said "fine," and immediately stalked off. Nothing was discussed. No strategies for how to find an equitable solution. Just an immediate termination of the conversation, after I had already let her talk about my own failings vis-a-vis prioritising togetherness, and accepted that I need to take steps to change my behaviour. We haven't spoken a word since, and likely won't until there is a blow-up argument about it at some stage this weekend (a familiar pattern). These conversations can and do go fine, so long as B— is able to externalise the fault: it's work, it's Christmas, it's the car, it's the wedding, it's the kids, etc. If I say anything that challenges this and suggests that her own actions are making me feel dismissed or unloved (and I am always very clear in my use of "when you do __, I feel __" language) then the conversation just stops dead.

We are both stressed up to the eyeballs, and both recognise that we're dropping the ball in terms of keeping our relationship healthy and maintained. We described it last night as "dropping the spinning plate that is our relationship." At this stage, it simply feels like we are diametrically opposed in how we want to pick the plate back up. The time we have to simply be a couple is very limited by our being parents. Invariably it's after 21:00 that the children are abed, and we can squeak out some time for ourselves. But lately this time after the kids are in bed is compressed dramatically by having to do chores that went ignored from before bedtime, or a lengthy discussion over the current thing that is at the forefront of our minds that we are stressing about. B— in particular really feels the need to get into a topic, and what feels like it should be a brief discussion over "what's the plan with the car" turns into a 90-minute epic with B—'s anxieties tumbling out one by one.

And I am struggling to meet those anxieties with patience and love, because the way these conversations are phrased is such that the only way that B— can not feel anxious is for her to have her own way. Which makes me feel less like a romantic partner and soon-to-be wife, and more a subordinate being asked to get on board with whatever the management team have decided. I want her to feel safe and like she can express what she's going through, but it is completely endless. One anxiety begets another, and before we know it it's 23:00 and we either have to get ready for bed ourselves, or else push through beyond midnight to gain any semblance of downtime. I love her so much, but at the moment it feels like so much of the relationship (as well as my own actions) is being driven forward by her anxieties and stresses about any given thing. I feel like I am buckling under the weight of all B—'s worries and stresses, and the accommodations that need to be made. She feels paralysed by all of the stressors we have in our lives, and so these stressors compound because she gets "stuck" and cannot do anything about them. Dishes pile up. The laundry basket overflows. Surfaces become cluttered. The children need feeding. At every turn there is another responsibility that it feels like B— is heaping onto me because she is so exhausted by constantly living in her anxiety and stress that she is rendered unable to do much beyond doomscroll on her phone. Meanwhile I am operating with the assumption that the only way out of the stress is to actually deal with the thing that's stressing me out: tidy up, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, plan the week's meals, have the conversation. But at each turn I am the one left to do the job. And I had better do it cheerfully and with a smile on my face, because B— experiences another shame spiral if she perceives someone to be cleaning around her in a bad mood.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I don't know what to do. I don't know if this relationship is sustainable in the long-term without some serious outside help. I don't know if we can afford that help. I don't know if I can continue to operate in this cycle of stress-paralysis without losing some sense of who I am. I don't know if B— still loves me. I just want to go back to when this felt easy. Our bedroom is all but dead. We don't "yes and" any more. The honeymoon period ended a long time ago, and I'm afraid that what we're left with is just an unhealthily attached relationship where neither of us feels able to lean on the other or to communicate our needs in a safe way. I'm terrified that I'm going to lose her and my step-children. We feel completely stuck in this rut, and I don't know the way out. I feel like I can't come to B— with problems, because she won't engage with them if there is any onus on her to work on herself. I miss the woman I asked to marry me.

Update: 03/02/26 (DD/MM/YY)
Thanks for all the replies everyone, it's been very helpful to read so much support! If I haven't replied to you directly, know that it's not out of anything other than mild overwhelm and feeling like I couldn't do justice to each of your comments.

B— and I hashed some stuff out on Friday, and it got heated. We argued for most of the evening and into Saturday morning, but we've taken some steps to try and reduce our stress load and take some time to work on ourselves:

1. This coming weekend, B—'s parents are going to be looking after 8 & 12, while 14 is going to be with her other parent. We are deliberately not filling this free time (the first kid-free weekend since I moved in!) with things to do, and are going to just focus on connecting and being together. We've also made low-key plans for Valentine's Day to get a takeaway after the kids are in bed. These are both small things, but we're both finding that it's helpful to have time as a couple in our immediate future to be looking forward to, and we're going to try and make a point to schedule more things like this into our lives.
2. We are going to actively pursue relationship counseling. Our argument on Friday evening showed that both of us need to do some work on communication with the other. I am not blameless, and I have a tendency to bottle things up and let them get to the point of anger before expressing them, which is not conducive to a healthy relationship. So the plan is to create some flex in the budget for counseling. I have a job interview tomorrow which will be bringing in a good bit more money than I make now, so hopefully the money stresses will be reduced.
3. We got news back about the car and the damage is not as bad as we'd feared. It's still an expensive fix, but far more affordable than trying to find a replacement vehicle that we trust. It'll be out for a while yet while it's getting fixed, but that just gives us a bit longer to squirrel away money for the repair. Knowing that it's going to be back in good, safe, working order is incredibly relieving, and both of us have commented that it feels like a burden lifting. Getting back to being a two-car household will be another point to find some relief.
4. B— and I are talking about cancelling, postponing, or reducing the scope of our wedding party. To clarify, we're aiming to marry on a shoestring anyway, but it's becoming apparent that the party portion is not really as affordable as we'd like. This is still in active consideration, but it's probable that we'll pivot to something closer to a garden party at one of our parents' homes than anything more intensive than that, and possibly a meal out with friends somewhere. The knowledge that we might not have to plan (and account for) this party is very refreshing, but we're trying to balance our sense of exhaustion against our possible future regrets.

So all in all, things are shifting in a more positive direction. I don't think I'm naïve enough to consider our problems solved; life has a way of finding new ones. But it does feel like we're mostly out of a very dark patch. There's work to do, both on ourselves, and in our lives. But I'm an insufferable optimist, as B— would say, and I think now that some of the fog of stress has cleared we're in a much stronger position to deal with what comes our way.

This is the first Tildes Book Club Discussion for 2026 and the twentyfirst overall. We are discussing Fire on the Mountain by Bissen. At the end of February we will discuss The Truth by Terry Pratchett.

This is the first time that I as your coordinator have not finished the book myself. It was not my cup of tea and I might or might not add my impressions to the discussion.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.

And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

Hey, I'm headed to San Diego in March after getting selected for a work conference. The last time I was in California was San Francisco more than a decade ago with my dad, so I'm excited to be visiting again.

The first few days will be the conference (which includes a recreational afternoon for networking, I picked the San Diego Zoo). I purposely scheduled my plane flight to be a few days after the conference ends to I can explore the city, but it'll be my first real solo trip; originally, my sister was going to tag along in my hotel room, but she had an injury and needed to drop out.

I fly in on March 18th, check out from the conference is the morning of Saturday the 21st, and I fly back home on the morning of the 24th. That gives me almost all of Saturday, and all of Sunday and Monday to explore the city.

Definitely, one of the things I want to check out is Balboa Park, though I would appreciate advice on specific museums, since I can't imagine it's possible to see even half of them in a day.

Another thing I've considered is a day trip to Tijuana to walk around. It's been a while since I had a good opportunity to practice my Spanish. Worst case scenario I can get a dental cleaning if I can't come up with any other ideas 😂.

Eating out alone isn't really something I've done before either. I think I want to do a nice sushi bar Omakase one night just to treat myself, if people have suggestions on where, and I'd love other suggestions for places to try where it wouldn't be too weird eating solo.

Does anyone have any suggestions for other things to do, places to see? Where I should stay after leaving the Marriott Marquis, since at >$500/night it's a little expensive for me? I won't be renting a car, so ideally, something either in walking distance or easily accessible via transit. I'll probably do a mix of ride shares and public transit for travel.

I'd love to hear ideas, along with what anyone else here has done in San Diego. Worst case scenario, I'm sure I'll figure it all out, but it's nice to poll the crowd sometimes.

I'm currently running Kubuntu in VMware on a Windows 11 host. I was on Windows 10 but was getting lots of display/graphical issues after pulling my desktop out of storage and I didn't qualify for extended support updates and just felt like I needed to eliminate all driver and software issues by reinstalling OS clean. At that point I figured I might as well go to Win 11, so I used rufus and did a clean install without a Microsoft account.

I feel like I need Windows for gaming, even with Proton compatibility on Linux I still expect I'd have some issues with some games and my desktop is my primary gaming system so I just want something that works. But like many others I don't like the direction Microsoft has gone with Windows so I'd really like to adapt to using Linux otherwise. I considered dual booting but I did have an issue with my system where the motherboard had 30+ second long boot times. Like it had nothing to do with my SSD or OS install, the Asus AM4 TUF x570-Plus motherboard boot time was just excessively long and seems other people reported that as well and there was no UEFI/bios update that fixed it. So I really didn't want to dual boot and wait 30+ seconds switching between OSes, that's just not fluid enough for how I wanted to use them. I really want the Windows install to just be gaming only basically or anything I can't get working in Linux.

So that's how I arrived to running Kubuntu in VMware Workstation Pro. I tried Hyper-V first but had issues and bailed on it. Initially I had audio issues with it in VMware but I found a reddit post that linked to the fix, prior to that, ChatGPT was happy to lead me down rabbit holes to nowhere. I do have a few browser issues with video playback, tried in Vivaldi and Firefox, video and audio are in sync but video is choppy and can't keep up with fast motion. It's otherwise acceptable for basic video playback so it's not really a huge issue for me. I tried playing videos in VLC and did not experience any issues so it is capable of smooth video playback in some circumstances on this setup. I have my own Plex server installed on another system but the Plex Linux application just won't work for me, at best it would produce choppy video if I installed from snap but the flatpak install just won't play anything back properly.

The other thing I couldn't quite resolve but mostly resolved is that in my Win 11 host, I have resolution set at 2560x1440 but I can't get that option in my Kubuntu VM. I currently have it as 2048x1152 which is as close as I can get while keeping 16:9 ratio. It will offer resolution options above my host system but not 16:9. I then stretch this to fill screen and run it in exclusive mode so it's basically like my primary desktop interface, but it would be nice if the resolution was better as I can tell it's slightly stretched, text isn't as crisp as it should be.

I will say, I'm quite impressed with how far Linux has come from when I last tried it as a daily driver 10-15 years ago. I added flathub as part of the app discovery repository so I can get many applications through that. I've had a few that I couldn't, scrcpy was outdated there so I had to follow some command line copy/paste script to install that and Vivaldi wasn't available either. Vivaldi did have a .deb file which I guess works like an .exe in Windows, because I just had to click to install, so that's nice. I still think I had to run something to add Vivaldi to app repository so it would keep it updated if I understand how that worked anyhow.

The Kubuntu VM does seem to destabilize quite a bit over time, it's already locked up on me a couple times, but I think it could be a RAM issue, so I've dedicated 12GB of RAM to it right now (it was at 8GB before). If it continues to happen then I guess that reinforces I'm doing something wrong or need to go in a different direction.

I've noticed my boot times have improved, I don't know when this happened, but now the boot times are about 15-20 seconds (I check the BIOS boot time in Startup tab on Windows task manager, but I've timed it and it matches actual time). Still seems kinda long to me but maybe it's fast enough to dual boot now, not sure.

I guess before I commit to anything too heavily, I was curious if what I'm doing now is not very wise or if there's something better I should try. With my bios boot time where it is now, I'd possibly consider dual booting as then I could probably just set up games that work in Linux. At that point, I wonder if I could/should use SteamOS or stick with Kubuntu or something else? Is SteamOS capable of being used as a daily driver OS or is it better just to use for gaming machines?

Also my PC specs are
Asus AM4 TUF x570-Plus motherboard
AMD Ryzen 5 3600 6-Core Processor
32GB RAM
AMD RX-580 8GB

I’m a highly creative person with strong execution skills on the makers side of things, design, fabrication, ideation, problem-solving. Where I consistently fall down is follow-through when working solo: logistics, setup, listings, shipping, scheduling, the last-mile admin that turns finished work into something that actually exists in the world.

I have a lot of very good monetizable ideas and skills, and I LOVE the creative part, but I just flounder at the rest.

I've joked in the past about needing a manager, someone who tells me what to make and how much of it, and I just make the deadlines and they ship, but more and more recently I've realized that might be exactly what I need.

Recently I've been doing some free design and branding work for a local indigenous restaurant and despite not getting paid for it, I LOVED doing it. And I've been getting asked about why I don't do it for other businesses too, as I have the experience and skills to, and it's like I would but the freelance aspect of having to find my own clients and stuff is just daunting.

And same thing with a couple ideas I've had that utilize 3D Printing and 3D design. I have a product idea that would fit a perfect niche that isn't currently being filled by any big players, as well as a monetization and resale license plan, but it's the execution.

When left to my own devices I kind of just fizzle out.

And I have a lot of designs and artwork that can absolutely translate to clothing and apparel, and I used to have a very active redbubble / society6 presence.

Like I know body-doubling is a really good ADHD hack that works, but I'm not sure how to body double something like this, but I would if I could.

So I guess I'm asking if anyone else has had to deal with this or if anyone has had to hire a creative partner/assistant/manager, and if so how'd that go and what is that like? Also where do I even go to find a person like that?

I’m reading Stephen Kings The Dark Tower series and I’m on Wizard and Glass, and I absolutely hate it. I’m half way through now and I’m wondering if I should skip the book and read the Wikipedia page because it’s just making me angry.

I like the rest of the series and really want to see where it ends up but this book is awful, it started out good with the riddle contest but the flashback with Susan I hate every single part of and it’s making me shout at the book angry. I’m halfway through now and I can tell there is a lot being set up for a big battle and a crazy ending, but I can’t stand whatever you want to call what’s happening with Susan, her aunt, and the mayor. Should I power through or call it?

EDIT: Just called it, got to Part 3: Chapter 3. Really needed a good editor, if they cut out the sexual stuff, it could’ve been a good book, but I’m getting to physically angry to keep reading this. It’s awful. I’m going to tell myself it has a Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ending where everyone gets tormented.

Inspired by @Fiachra's question in this post, I wanted to asked the broader tildes community: What are some of your favourite historic anecdotes or stories? The original question is more narrow, but I'm honestly curious to hear any fun or intriguing ones from any period of history.

Re-posting what I responded there:
OH man, time to share my favourite example of how one person being an asshole changed history: Shah Muhammad II of Khwarazm. The Khwarazmian Empire was roughly the Persian/Iranian Empire from 1077–1231. A massive, rich, culturally leading Empire at the centre of the Silk Road.

Genghis Khan, seeking to increase trade in preparation for his invasion of China, sent envoys to Khwarazm to ask to open trade. The Shah, in his supreme arrogance, decided these smelly Mongols insulted him by their very presence, and had them executed. Genghis, who very famously established the Imperial Mongol tradition of absolute protection for envoys, was furious. And yet, focused on his goal, he sent a SECOND group of envoys to demand an explanation and try to smooth things over. And the Shah executed them too. This pissed Genghis and his leadership off so much they paused the invasion of China, and launched a punitive expedition to conquer Persia/Khwarazm. I want to stress again that the records we have make it clear that the Mongols at this point had no interest in going further West. They were very focused on achieving victory over their arch-nemeses in China.

Within two years the entire Empire had fallen, the Shah was dead, and its fabulously rich cities torched and massacred. Following this, the Mongols realized they could continue to press on and ended up invading the rest of the Islamic world, famously including the destruction of Baghdad, the world's finest city of learning and culture at that point. The fall of Baghdad is widely considered to be the end of the Islamic Golden Age. Estimates of deaths in the Islamic World vary widely, but it is undeniable that many of the most populous and prosperous cities from the Mediterranean to the Caspian Sea were totally destroyed and depopulated. All because one jackass decided he couldn't be bothered to take some smelly Mongols seriously.

Also, I have no idea what to tag this, sorry lol.

Over a year ago, I had my heart broken pretty bad. I lost most of my appetite for the week or two after that, and felt a lot of that emotion "in my stomach" for a couple months. And, to be honest, I'm still working through the whole thing.

Coincidentally, I've noticed that my hunger signals have gotten a lot worse since. I used to just listen to my stomach to regulate my eating and that was perfectly fine, but now I find myself fairly regularly eating until I think I'm full then waking up from hunger pangs in the middle of the night or feeling hunger pangs as soon as my head hits the pillow when I try to go to sleep. Albeit, my eating habits aren't super great in general. I'll often eat less out of laziness of not wanting to make extra food or I'll skip a meal every now and then because I'm busy. But I've had those habits for a while and it didn't cause me much trouble before.

I'm wondering if these two things might be related or not. Has anyone perhaps experienced something similar?

I didn't see a thread about this at the start of the year and I was wondering about how you guys see your past year and this one coming.

I guess I'll start. This year, a lot has changed for me, I am so much different than how I was last year, and so is my life.

• I started ADHD meds in january of last year. Completely changed my life, I am now able to tackle the challenges of daily life as a grown adult.

• I started cooking A LOT more. I went from eating out almost every day, to cooking almost every day (or at least eat my planned meals).

• I went on the dating apps this summer and found a girlfriend :) after a 5 months relationship, it feels like I found the love of my life

• I started weight training this fall. Have been going at it 3-4 times a week for 4 months now, it's going great!

• I finally rekindled with my family (my brother and my sister), I now see them at least once every 2 weeks!

For 2026, I want to reduce my restaurants spending to only once a week, twice a month, or when necessary. I want to meal plan/cook many meals for the week, once a week.

I want to start some kind of cardio training (when my knees will be better...).

I also want to better plan my classes (I'm a teacher). I feel like I improvise too much and want to have a better plan moving forward.

How do you feel about your past year and this one?

I have been going through trials to see what ADHD medication might be a good fit for me, and as a side effect have amassed a good deal of unused pills. I have like 60 Vyvanse, a whole bunch of Strattera, and with how expensive they are I'd love to pass them off to someone who might be able to use them. Is this a possibility?

Cheers!

The recruitment agency I temp with are a major multinational player in the market, have a bit of a reputation for being sharks (based on feedback I've seen about them on Reddit and Trustpilot.) They're a publicly listed company who absolutely 100% should know better.

I caught a really nasty virus two weekends ago and had been practically bedridden for nearly a week. For the first two days of calling in sick, I logged into my work laptop and messaged my line manager via Teams. On Wednesday morning, I was advised that I should also keep my agency in the loop, so I instead sent her an email, ensuring to copy in the recruitment consultant who is my point-of-contact (I'll just call him Ben.)

At roughly 3:40 PM, Ben sends me a snarky WhatsApp message out of the blue. "you know we can see your details on job boards lol." I left him on read because 1. I'm in bed and 2. My job search is frankly none of his business.

He then called me and proceeded to all-but-accuse me of pulling sickies to attend interviews, going behind his back to apply for jobs. He asked me if I even considered how bad I was going to make him and the agency look if I quit my job, then proceeded to interrogate me about my contact I had with other recruiters and warned me to delist myself any job boards moving forwards. I complied, purely because I wanted to shut him up and didn't want to start a further argument, when in my head I just wanted to verbally chew him out.

I don't appreciate being intimidated and guilt-tripped about my job search, especially when I am genuinely unwell, and I am seriously thinking about lodging a formal complaint with the agency, but I'm also worried about facing retaliation for this.

AFAIK, I have not signed into a contract preventing me from applying for roles with other employers or agencies. I'm also on a temp zero-hours contract that is due to finish in less than three weeks where either party can terminate it without notice or liability. There is the possibility of the work assignment being extended, or me being offered a permanent role but I don't intend to stay beyond this. This was a decision I made to myself weeks before Ben's recent asshole behaviour. Other than that, I literally have nothing lined up.

Has anybody had experiences raising formal complaints with recruitment agencies? The agency does have a complaints procedure and a dedicated quality care team that investigates formal complaints.

In this edition of the Good News thread, I'd love it if folks shared not just a positive news story, but perhaps a video, article, story, something that can function as a happy moment, a chill vibe, a memory that makes you smile. We're all just trying to deal with the world, so if you cannot find joy in current events, consider sharing something else joyful.

For this thread, even if something happy also reveals the sadness at the heart of the world, we're going to focus on the joy here. (Posting in misc due to the extended ask this time)

Do you ever get that FOMO feeling that all your friends and family use insert-social-media-app name? That you are the outcast fighting the uphill battle of avoiding those horrible apps and the forced advertising they shove into your eyeballs every minute? Well, I did, and decided to give Instagram a shot to see how things are.

Well, you will not be surprised to hear that it is as awful as you probably imagine. It did not get better since I left maybe 5 years ago. It got worse. The only way it's better is, funny enough, the technical creative element. You can do a lot more. The video editor for the reels is surprisingly good and easy to use. Far better than iMovie (on iOS). Aaaand that's about it! Everything else is worse. More ads, more content that I just don't care about, etc.

An important realization about the content itself, reels and stories. We all know it's one-sided, that you often see only one side of a person. That's not new. What I did feel this time around is that, coming from zero FB/Insta/X/TikTok for over 5 years, being exposed to this kind of content suddenly starts inserting a vast amount of self-doubt in one's daily life. I'll use a mild example: fitness! I am an active person, I exercise more or less regularly, I walk my dogs, I do some outdoor activities, light sports, etc. Well, I start seeing content on this topic, and initially think "Oh, this guy has some good tips!" But then I see 10 other content creators with 10 different ideas of what is "right" and I end up so confused, doubting whether I am doing things right. Now take this example and think about other topics: mental health is a big one! All of a sudden I see these ads and accounts targeting me and making me feel like I'm not happy enough, or not investing enough time in whatever thing they are selling. I have a pretty strong radar for this stuff, I am conscious of how this works and on alert. It didn't get to me because I spotted the trend early. But I am wondering how many people are aware of this? Here on Tildes, probably most. Outside, in the wild? People glued to FB/Insta/X all the time? Probably very few.

A family member is constantly on Instagram, consuming this "mental health" content. When you get 10 different types of advice, how are you to know what to prioritize, what actually works. I think it does more harm than good. Zero advice may be preferable, in a way that lets your own psyche figure it out versus being bombarded by these "helpful" content creators.

I did go back to Instagram primarily to get back in touch with friends and family who I lost track of, or who use Instagram as a way of creative expression. Sadly, I realized few people actually do that, and most are just lurking, or watching reels and sharing reels. This gets old fast. Yes, some reels are funny and it's fun to laugh with the person next to you. But they are also addictive and I found myself defaulting to scrolling over other activities that are far healthier for the brain and for the heart.

What do you think? Am I way off the mark here? Did you have a similar experience with these platforms?

Some background here - I have a niche YouTube channel, mostly doing longform (often 3+ hour) commentaries on a board game with a friend. We're both very skilled at the game and are apparently entertaining to listen to, but it's all very amateur - I don't really know anything about videomaking except what I've picked up as I go.

That had never really been an issue, because the topic is so niche that only people really interested in the game watch, and they didn't really mind. But last year we got a shout-out from a big YouTuber and the subscriber count has gone up a lot since, to the point where it feels like I really should figure out how to make it a little less amateurish.

I want to start with audio, because that's 90% of what we do. But I don't even know where to start with it.

I got Blue Yetis for both of us a few years ago because I was vaguely aware that was a good mic, but if anything it made it slightly worse than just using headsets (quite a bit more echoey) - I don't know if that was a mistake, and if there are better mics to go for?

I'm also aware that you're supposed to have some kind of padding on the walls to stop the echoing, but that isn't really feasible for me both because I rent, and because all the rooms of the apartment I'm in are absolutely massive. I've heard that you can throw a blanket over your head, which I've tried for a short video but I absolutely couldn't handle for a three hour one. I'm lost on how to solve that too.

If anyone here knows much about it, I'd love either direct advice about it or a recommendation for how/where to learn about this stuff. It's super appreciated!

The first ep. got its own thread on Tildes and a decent discussion, I figured I'd try to get one going for whole season. Since it finished airing like 2 weeks ago.

I binged S1 yesterday, and am very happy that I waited till all episodes were out, as the pace of the show is glacial and I would've likely lost interest were I not able to skip around a bit. That's one of my two major issues. The other being that I found Carol insufferable at moments in the show. I think it does a good job at humanizing her and explaining why she is the way she is. It's also important to note that a majority of the show plays out days after Carol's wife Helen dies and she's reeling from that loss, as well as losing everyone else too. For me this culminated in ep 6, when she has a conversation with another survivor after having uncovered that they process human corpses into protein powder, and she thinks it's a big reveal that everyone else already knows. She just wasn't told because she's made everyone not like her.

That being said, the premise of this show is excellent and I love the questions it makes me ask and think about. The way it's shot is also fantastic. Yes, all of humanity is in a blissful state, but most of us would also die due to starvation, but there's no murder, no robbings, but it's also clear that this blissful state is more akin to being happy because you're on drugs, not "true happiness". I think this was most evident in the scene when the Peruvian girl turned willingly. Just before she does, she's shown with a lamb on her lap, which she likes and pets. The moment she turns, she just walks off, leaving the lamb behind. Obviously also all expressions of individualism are gone, this means all art, plus the question hasn't been properly answered on what exactly the Others do when they don't have someone around to make happy. I guess work together as a collective on sending the signal onto the next planet.

I think the big answer is going to be when they hopefully break someone out of the hivemind in S2. I just hope that it won't be the season finale, but sooner. I dislike the trend of prestige television being at such a slow pace.

What do you guys think? Both the smart writing and the pacing issues seem to be the main two things i see mentioned online. Anything else you liked or disliked? Any theories on where it'll go?

(Not sure this should be under ~finance, but not sure where else to post?)

I've been de-googling and going more privacy-based for most anything I can lately, and I always love when my company gifts me a $100 Visa gift card for Christmas.
I find myself paying for a lot more of the booze in our lives (usually one shot at going out, and before additionally replenishing a few dollars on my TouchTunes account because I've only used gift cards on it) because now nothing's tracking my sinful habits. :)
Honestly, I mostly would like to use this card to do online things with apps I honestly don't want to be attached to (specifically Discord, and I'd like to recharge TouchTunes, but... that's more of a secondary option).

That being said, I'd like to get some sort of non-"traceable" type of card (that is, physical and not requiring an account or app), and I'd prefer to keep as much of my "investment" as I can (purchase charges, fees, or whatnot). I would like a rechargeable option, but I feel that would be too pinpoint-y. I could just go to my local store (in the US) and buy cards with cash, but while I have no problem with that, I'm also not that paranoid and I am a little lazy heh.

I asked my DDG search, and AI has highlighted "toasty choice" (at toastycard dot com) which looks sketch AF, probably because it appears you need an app. Maybe I'm paranoid, but it just looks too sketch for me.

So, I would like to hear folks' thoughts on this. Do you have a spot you'd recommend to purchase "gift" cards online, or a local spot (as I mentioned, US companies would be required), and any strings attached you'd highlight that may be avoidable?

I'm increasingly of the opinion that most publicly owned companies either have lower quality services and products or eventually will. It may not matter in the end for most people as long as they can get what they need but personally if I have a choice I'd rather do business with companies not being traded with the hope that they can still operate without feeling like they need to go public to survive. There must still be a lot of privately owned companies that do prioritize customers instead of shareholders but with the constant churn of selloffs and takeovers it can be hard to keep track of.

The only popular one I can think of right now that I do regular business with is Valve Software. What are some other private companies that you are happy to support?

So, here on tildes we can link to users with an @, as in @user, or we can link to a group using a ~, as in ~tildes, but we've never had a way to link to a tag. Long ago I proposed using an octothorpe for that, as in #tag, but it's never been implemented.

Yesterday I noticed there's a somewhat easy way, just use: [tag](/?tag=tag). It's not as easy as #tag, but it's easier than what I used to do, which was go to the front page in a new tab, right click on any tag, copy link, go back to my draft in the other tab, paste it, edit the tag, surround it in brackets, etc.

Not revolutionary, I know, but "slash questionmark tag = whatever_tag" is a much easier shorthand.

I love the tagging system here, and feel it's underutilized. It's really helpful for providing context by linking other topics that have been posted here before. Thanks to the tireless work of several tildeans, especially @mycketforvirrad, who will not be named, this site is fantastic for digging up previous related topics.

That's all, folks!

Hello Tildes,

My partner and I are at the point where we need to get more care for my dad and I could use some advice from people who have been down this road. He's in his early nineties and still living in his home, and the family has been lucky in many respects. Dad still has good cognitive function, he has excellent health care through his military retirement (USA: Tricare for Life). My brother is living in the family home, so there's someone in the house overnight in case there's a fall or other serious issue.

Last year we got Dad set up with a medical alert service, so he's only one button press away from talking to a helper if he's in crisis. My partner and I are down visiting him about once a week to help with chores and hang out. Same with my other brother. We've been holding things together.

But Dad's having difficulty with normal life stuff (walking, bathing, eating) and he's transitioning into a bedbound state, losing weight and eating very little. He seems fairly comfortable, just extremely tired and increasingly frail.

To be clear, I'm not asking for medical advice. Where I'm stuck is: How do we initiate and navigate the process of getting him a home health aide? His medical team was entirely unhelpful when we asked about case management. They say "if he's struggling, bring him to the ER" but he absolutely does not want to go to the ER, and we're loathe to force him at his age unless he's in crisis. Also, the ER is full of people with the flu right now.

We've reached the "we can't put this off any longer" moment, I think. Any advice on getting the ball rolling would be appreciated. Do we just randomly call up home health agencies? How do we figure out what his insurance will and won't cover?

Thanks so much.

GP

Without going into details, my partner's parent is sick with an unknown prognosis (1-5 years; 1 year has passed). I admire how they've come to support their parent and have tried to both be supportive and keep myself busy so my partner could focus. Still, it's created a lot of distance for me. Where I see the future as exciting and exploratory for us, for my partner, they imagine their family in shambles and their favorite person gone. With the uncertain prognosis and the aftermath, it's hard to imagine that really changing for the foreseeable future.

I am looking for insight from people who have been in similar situations. Perhaps it's the sort of ridiculousness of how selfish this is or sounds, but I don't know if I've ever heard much about how this affects romantic relationships.

Hello all! My lease is up mid-March of this year. For personal mental health reasons I would like to secure a move-in date of around mid-February and perhaps even earlier than that, because I'd like to have things finalized before my ex starts her own moving out process. This is the first time I'll be apartment hunting on my own, and while I have definitely talked to many friends and mentors regarding my options, I figured I wouldn't mind getting thoughts from folks here.

I have a few hard requirements for personal reasons: I would ideally not be too far from groceries (I have a car), be able to go for walks/runs without having to drive to a specific place, not too far away from the main airport here as I have to fly for work very very occasionally or when visiting family, and central HVAC. I have, generally, two options to choose from:

1. The expensive option, 1500 base rent and estimated 300-400 for utilities/parking/etc. At this time I do not believe it possible or even worth looking for anything slightly cheaper than this - whether it's a studio or a 1bed, the cost is more or less the same in this area. And even if the location were less of a factor and I looked farther away from the main city / big hubs, at best we're looking at $100 cheaper and I don't think that is big enough savings given how inconvenient location is.

2. The budget option, estimated 700-800 with utilities included, 3 housemates. A friend is currently sharing a house that his family owns with two other housemates. I've never met said housemates but they are personal friends of his. All housemates are male, I am female. I would be getting a single master bedroom, attached bathroom. At this time I do not consider the... eyebrow-raising-ness? of being the sole woman to be a problematic factor.

Some of the factors I'm considering, that probably isn't comprehensive because I'm new to all this:

• Living with housemates. I haven't had to share a house with so many people since my first year of college, which was 14 years ago. My ex did keep me honest over the last year of living together, and from a brief call with the friend who would be renting out the room, his housemates do keep to themselves, don't really use the kitchen, plenty of fridge space, etc.

• Living alone. I actually haven't "lived alone" since the last semester before I dropped out of college. My roommate at the time was taking a leave of absence and I had the studio to myself for three months. I feel neutral about this.

• Laundry? House has in unit laundry. No apartment I've looked at has in-unit laundry unless I add at least $200 on top of the base price.

• WFH and personal space. I do work remotely and for my entire WFH life, I have always had my personal PC setup, bed, and work setup in the same room. This has been difficult for me in the last two months while recovering from the breakup, and moving into a 1bed apartment would allow me to have a dedicated work setup away from bed since I personally value that higher than a nice living room space (no television, no problem). Or I could even fit that work setup into a small but still cozy living room space, who knows. However...

• MONEY. I've broken down all my fixed monthly costs, including any recurring annual subscriptions. I am estimating very, very high for absolutely everything, such as monthly grocery costs (400/mo, which is the highest that my ex and I split over the last 10 months. We're both very light eaters and "groceries" would include the occasional toiletries restock and such). Right now I am looking at taking home around $1300/mo living in my own apartment, vs. $2300/mo sharing the house.

  • Furnishing a new apartment, vs... not. Ex and I split all costs 50/50 for everything BUT furniture, and she paid for most items such as the sofa, coffee table, TV console, dining room table, ie. she will be taking those items with her. I do not want a large sofa but cozy seating in a living room space is, well, not cheap. The only furniture I'd bring with me is a decent Ikea shelf cabinet thing, my two standing desks, a single bookshelf, a twin bed. I would not be acquiring additional furniture if I move into the single bedroom.
  • Schooling costs. I don't know if I've gotten into this online degree program yet, won't know until probably April, and even if I do get in I am not sure if I will jump into it (though at this time I am leaning towards it just to have a guided path which I'm lacking right now with my career). This is an estimated 30k over the course of 2 years, or $625/mo. Not counting any potential textbooks.
  • Lasik/PRK? I have pretty poor eyesight. I have always been afraid of pulling the trigger on this, but I would like to in the next few years.
  • Current savings. I have a little over $20k in savings. I don't know anything about stocks, I have a 401k I never look at. My financial literacy boils down to "I use my credit card like a debit card" and my only current debt is a financed car, costs are factored into the numbers posted above.

• Mental health? Monthly therapy costs are factored into my numbers. So is a $150/mo cost of classes at a local muay thai gym (picked up recently for sake of both physical and mental health, joining a community, a regular activity to take me out of the apartment).

What considerations am I missing from the above? What would you go for? I mentioned I have not lived on my own for a very long time, and to be honest I don't have concrete long-term financial goals. Obviously property ownership is like... the American Dream and whatever... but frankly I am so very far from being able to realize such a goal that it just is not a factor when it comes to me saving money. I just don't want to look back at myself in 2027 and regret my finances. My family is in another part of the state and I can't rely on them for money or housing... well, I actually can, for housing, and save even more money, but I vastly prefer the climate where I am at now and my mental health will suffer far more living with family than with 3 housemates.

I really appreciate any thoughts! I know I have time, there is no rush, but I am also aware that distracting myself with this has been pretty helpful with, you know, not being too depressed about circumstances.

I am always curious about these kinds of situations.

for example, I live in Canada and (iirc) in 2021, there was a discovery of unmarked graves (I think) near a church that used to be a residential school for the indigenous children at the time.

given its closeness in time to the George Floyd protests, it sparked a discussion up here regarding our own failures of how to do proper truth and reconciliation with the remaining indigenous community.

my university graduation was also around that time, and the university wanted to jump on the bandwagon of appearing to be woke. their attempt at this was to have a former student of a residential school come and speak at the event about her experiences at the school. forseeably real sad stuff. you can't help but feel sadness hearing it.

Then, we had to sing the national anthem of Canada.

I have never stopped finding it funny that whichever genius was tasked with planning the schedule for that day, decided the most appropriate thing to do after hearing about the lengths that the church and government of Canada tried to go to to "stomp the indian out of the child" is to proceed to sing a song celebrating that government. You can kinda make an argument that we were singing a song to celebrate the ideal of Canada, which is a country that is about always trying to do better but from my perspective, what it felt like was they had a template of what a graduation ceremony was like and just decided to shoe-horn in that lady at some point in a pre-existing template.

One other funny story I've heard (I think from an indigenous comic who was a guest on an NPR podcast) was he relayed a story about how during covid, when their work went remote and had meetings on zoom and the DEI was gaining more and more popularity at the time in corporate environments, their bosses best idea was to do land acknowledgements on zoom..while everyone was at home. He had a whole bit about it that was quite humorous and I can't really remember but it was hilarious.

So what did everyone think of the finale?

Happy 2026 everyone, and welcome back to the Colossal Game Adventure!

Introduction

The Zelda games released for the Nintendo 64 are widely regarded as the best adventure games of the era, if not of all time. Ocarina of Time in particular is often heralded as one of the greats, for many factors including its graphics, story, combat, music, and general atmosphere. So Nintendo clearly had a lot to prove with their next Zelda title, which would be releasing on the N64's successor. Naturally, Nintendo decided to alter course and provide fans with a something no one was expecting: a cel-shaded, pirate-themed, sea-faring adventure! As the 3D title that came directly after Majora's Mask (which remains one of the darkest and most off-putting games I have played), this was a massive shift in tone for the Zelda series. For me (and from what I've read, many others as well), this shift has put me off playing the game for many, many years.

The Wind Waker is the only 3D Zelda game that I haven't played, even though it came out at a time when I was heavily into Zelda. My first memory of gaming was watching my Dad beat A Link to the Past, which I am still a huge fan of to this day. When Ocarina of Time came out it felt huge and mysterious, and quickly became my favourite game for many years. I can't remember when (maybe '98?), but one Christmas I got a purple Game Boy Colour and a copy of Link's Awakening. I later played Seasons and Ages, which I would highly recommend if you haven't played them. In 2003 or 2004 I got a Game Boy Advance SP, and I played the Zelda games that were on that system a lot as well (Four Swords and The Minish Cap). However, the one thing I never had was a GameCube, and due to the cel-shaded graphics of The Wind Waker I never really felt like I was missing anything.

Looking back now, I feel like I probably missed out on something special with this game, as a lot of people cite The Wind Waker as the defining gaming experience of their childhood. Many people also claim that it is the best Zelda game, which has obviously set an extremely high bar over the years. Back in 2017 or 2018, I purchased The Wind Waker HD, but unfortunately ended up parting ways with my Wii U before I got past the first dungeon. So now, FINALLY, I am ready to experience this game for the first time as part of our shared Colossal Game Adventure!

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Versions:

• Original: The GameCube version of The Wind Waker released back in 2002. It is probably the easier of the two versions to emulate.
• HD: In 2013 Nintendo released an HD remaster of The Wind Waker for the Wii U. This the version I would personally recommend playing if you can figure out a way to do so.

Platforms: GameCube, Wii U

Genre(s): Action-adventure, RPG, Puzzle

Links: Mobygames, Wikipedia

Stores: Currently the only way to play this game officially is via GameCube emulation on a Switch 2, which requires Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack (and a Switch 2).

Game Setup

The main purpose of this topic is to get people up and running with the game. As such, it's recommended that you:

• Share which version of the game you're playing
• Share what hardware you're playing it on
• Share if there are any tools/mods that you recommend
• Share anything you think is important for people to know before they start the game
• Ask questions if you need help

Another purpose of this topic is to revisit the game and its time period:

• Do you have any memories or associations with this game itself?
• What about its system or era?
• What aspects of retro gaming were common at the time?
• What other games from the same time period are you familiar with?
• What are you expecting from this game in particular?

Finally, this topic is the beginning discussion for people starting to play it:

• Post updates sharing your thoughts as you play.
• Ask for help if you get stuck.
• Offer help to others.

It is recommended that you reply to your own posts if you are making consecutive updates so that they are in the same thread.

Important

• Any links to the game should be legal distributions of the game only. Please do NOT link to any unauthorized copies.

• Put any spoilers in a dropdown block. Copy/paste the block below if needed.

<details>
<summary>Spoilers</summary>
 
Spoiler text goes here.
</details>

FAQ

I remember being young and going over to one of our neighbor's house to watch him play Phantasy Star Online (PSO) on his Dreamcast with other people over the Internet which blew my mind as a kid. I also remember getting my parents to rent a copy of PSO for Gamecube to play it some, but since we had to return it, I didn't get very far or get to experience much of it. Though the memory of it being awesome never went away.

When I was in high school, one of my best friends at the time loved the Gamecube version and played it a ton with his dad and brother growing up. He found a private server to play the PC version, Phantasy Star Online Blue Burst, which includes both episodes 1 and 2 along with the PC only episode 4. ["Where is episode 3?" you might ask, that was released as a card game that was also set after the events of episodes 1, 2, and 4] and asked me if I wanted to play with him and his brother. We ended up playing together, usually once or twice a week, depending on our schedules. Sometimes we would play all evening and just chat while grinding and leveling up our characters. I think I ended up getting to level 50 out of a maximum of 200. I could easily have seen myself continuing to play for years as a way to keep up with that friend if we had stayed in touch.

That game has sat in the back of my head for years, I'd occasionally think about it, and have the urge to play it, but never would since I usually have other stuff going on, and I couldn't remember what server my character was on or my login information. I recently saw some videos about it on YouTube, since it was the 25th anniversary that has got me looking in to it again. I think later in the year I may look in to setting it up to play on my Android phone.

PSO has an interesting place in video game history, and something I didn't know until watching a retrospective was that the Monster Hunter series took inspiration from PSO.

There were follow-up games made, like Phantasy Star Universe, and Phantasy Star Online 2, but I only played PSO2 for a brief period when it was Japanese only, and I kept having my translation patches breaking every few days due to updates and never went back to revisit it after it was released in the West.

It made me curious if any Tilders played it back in the day or still play it now?
Do you have any fond memories of the game, or stories you might want to share?
Did you play or enjoy any of the follow-up games to the original PSO?

Hello,

I seem to be in a write it down phase and have gotten to the physical health part.

I'm looking for fun, absurd, dumb, exaggerated, vanity goals related to fitness.

What I have now is:

• standing front/back flip
• cartwheels as a mode of transportation
• being able to touch my chins with my forehead with straight legs
• doing 10 handstand push ups
• running on all fours
• being a human flag
• holding my breath under water for 10min
• walking with a total weight of 150kg for 4hrs in mixed terrain with an average speed of 5km/h
• jumping up 1m from standing
• doing the splits (both ways)
• gripping my forearms with the opposing arm behind my back from top/bottom
• going down into the bridge from standing and then get up to a handstand

The idea is to have these feats as goals so that I have something to strive for... I have well over 40years to reach them.

Think of something that you would cringe at when shown or talked about, but secretly you think it's kind of cool.

Like that uncle that always has to show off...

My list is mostly gymnastics, but I sure welcome pure strength, endurance or other things too.

post contains spoilers for Dream Scenario:

I've become a big fan of the resurgence that Nic Cage is having, especially after watching Mandy, it was so wacky and surreal and just quite the mind trip.

Saw the trailer for Dream Scenario and picked up on that same vibe.

However, that movie really pissed me off. that story was pretty interesting and I really would have liked it but I kept thinking that they would find a way to wrap up the plot in a typical happy go lucky fashion that Hollywood typically demands. The closer and closer the movie got to the end, the more I was expecting the shoe to drop and for the writers to somehow find a way to end the movie on a happy note that makes everything OK.

It does not, the movie ends on quite a weird and sad note, which I would have loved, if I hadn't expected it to end in a typical Hollywood fashion. Makes me wish there was a way to get a warning when watching a movie to not expect it to end in a typical "safe" fashion. Cause if I had gotten that warning, I think I would've love it.

So I realize I didn't quite make the end of October target - in fact I finished this piece just this evening, right in time for Christmas tomorrow (it's intended as a Christmas gift for my sister). I didn't get many early progress pictures, so all I have are some from the last couple of weeks. The whole thing is hand stitched, including the whipped edge.

Nearly finished piece without the outlining:
https://postimg.cc/kB5HYKnM

Outlined:
https://postimg.cc/7bHtb0Jh

Off the hoop, washed, cut, and whip-stitched.
https://postimg.cc/FfbGHH9C

I think I'd like to try some more variety on the types of stitches I use to fill areas next time. I pretty much only used basic back stitches and satin stitch for this. I tried a tight seed stitch initially for the dog's fur, but didn't like it and spent a whole evening picking it out.

I also found the process of washing the piece (this isn't strictly necessary but I had used water soluble pen to trace the image and needed to wash it to get the ink out) and cutting it very nerve-wracking. It took so damn long to sew and I was terrified I was going to fuck it up right at the end. There were a couple of spots where I felt like I didn't cut it quite as evenly as I wanted, but after adding the stitched edge you can't really tell at all. I also had no idea what I was doing when fusing the initial piece to the felt backing with interfacing, and the interfacing didn't fully adhere to the fabric in a few places, but it worked out fine.

All in all it took forever and there are a few noticeable mistakes, but overall I'm pretty proud of it and I'm hoping the next one doesn't take so long.

And so concludes Guybrush Threepwood's thrilling quest to learn the Secret of Monkey Island! He did learn it, right? The secret? Surely there was a secret learned in there, somewhere? Well... that's what you get for spending more than 20 bucks on a computer game.

What were your favorite (and least favorite) moments? Favorite puzzles? Most frustrating ones? There are, in fact, a number of SECRETS to be found in The Secret of Monkey Island! Like these:

Share your stories below. Was this your first experience with the game or a nostalgic return? How has it held up over the years, in your estimation? Timeless classic or overrated turd? Don't hold back, we can handle it. We've spoken with apes more polite than you.

So here we are at the end of another colossal month. Next up, we'll ring in the new year with @datavoid for our January 2026 play of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker! In the meantime, if you're so inclined, consider checking out the rest of the Monkey Island series:

• Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge
• The Curse of Monkey Island
• Escape From Monkey Island
• Tales of Monkey Island
• Return to Monkey Island

OK, that's it, turn off your computer and do something constructive.
Like play a little racquetball. Or wash your car. Or cook dinner. Or join a funk band. Or travel to a foreign country. Or run for president. Or talk to a member of the opposite sex. Or lube your car. Or host a weenie roast. Or dig for buried treasure. Or milk a cow. Or have a yelling contest with your neighbor's dog. Or perform brain surgery. Or paint a yellow line in the center of your driveway. Or write your name in the snow. Or teach basket weaving to clams. Or sing Welsh folk songs at the bank. Or plant trees on public property. Or confuse the person next to you. Or make a triangular table. Or hop, skip, and jump. Or ride a train. Or organize your sock drawer alphabetically. Or go bowling with your mom. Or train potato bugs to do tricks. Or make a quilt. Or publish a magazine about pencil shavings. Or eat lime jello with pineapple in it. Or pave a freeway. Or learn to draw. Or take up photography. Or learn to tell time. Or photocopy money. Or go out for pasta. Or sew a dress. Or bathe your iguana. Or go fishing. Or paint a stranger's house in the middle of the night. Or take up windsurfing. Or change your hair style. Or sharpen your whiteboard markers. Or feed a toucan. Or enjoy the sun. Or do a crossword puzzle. Or buy some cool clothes. Or go to the beach. Or play croquet with your dad. Or water your plants. Or build a doll house. Or invite some friends over for salmon and white wine.

See you next month!

The last couple of years have been a wild ride. The biggest parts of the conversation around AI for most of that time have been dominated by absurd levels of hype. To go along with the cringe levels of hype, a lot of people have felt the pain of dealing with the results of rushed and forced AI implementation.

As a result the pushback against AI is loud and passionate. A lot of people are pissed, for good reasons.

Because of that it would be understandable for people casually watching from a distance to get the impression that AI is mostly an investor fueled shitshow with very little real value.

The first part of the sentiment is true, it's definitely a shitshow. Big companies are FOMOing hard, everyone is shoehorning AI into everything they can in hopes of capturing some of that hype money. It feels like crypto, or Web 3.0. The result is a mess and we're nowhere near peak mess yet.

Meanwhile in software engineering the conversation is extremely polarized. There is a large, but shrinking, contingent of people who are absolutely sure that AI is something like a scam. It only looks like a valid tool and in reality it creates more problems than it solves. And until recently that was largely true. The reason that contingent is shrinking, though, is that the latest generation of SOTA models are an undeniable step change. Every day countless developers try using AI for something that it's actually good at and they have the, as yet nameless but novel, realization that "holy shit this changes everything". It's just like every other revolutionary tech tool, you have to know how to use it, and when not to use it.

The reason I bring up software engineering is that code is deterministic. You can objectively measure the results. The incredible language fluency of LLMs can't gloss over code issues. It either identified the bug or it didn't. It either wrote a thorough, valid test or it didn't. It's either good code or it isn't. And here's the thing: It is. Not automatically, or in all cases, and definitely not without careful management and scaffolding. But used well it is undeniably a game changing tool.

But it's not just game changing in software. As in software if it's used badly, or for the wrong things, it's more trouble than it's worth. But used well it's remarkable. I'll give you an example:

A friend was recently using AI to help create the necessary documents for a state government certification process for his business. If you've ever worked with government you've already imagined the mountain of forms, policies and other documentation that were required. I got involved because he ran into some issues getting the AI to deliver.

Going through his session the thing that blew my mind was how little prompting it took to get most of the way there. He essentially said "I need help with X application process for X certification" and then he pasted in a block of relevant requirements from the state. The LLM agent then immediately knew what to do, which documents would be required and which regulations were relevant. It then proceeded to run him through a short Q and A to get the necessary specifics for his business and then it just did it. The entire stack of required documentation was done in under an hour versus the days it would have taken him to do it himself. It didn't require detailed instructions or .md files or MCP servers or artifacts, it just did it.

And he's familiar with this process, he has the expertise to look at the resulting documents and say "yeah this is exactly what the state is looking for". It's not surprising that the model had a lot of government documentation in its training data, it shouldn't even really be mind blowing at this point how effective it was, but it blew my mind anyway. Probably because not having to deal with boring, repetitive paperwork is a miraculous thing from my perspective.

This kind of win is now available in a lot of areas of work and business. It's not hype, it's objectively verifiable utility.

This is not to say that it's not still a mess. I could write an overly long essay on the dangers of AI in software, business and to society at large. We thought social media was bad, that the digital revolution happened too fast for society to adapt... AI is a whole new category of problematic. One that's happening far faster than anything else has. There's no precedent.

But my public service message is this: Don't let the passionate hatred of AI give you the wrong idea: There is real value there. I don't mean this is a FOMO way, you don't have to "use AI or get left behind". The truth is that 6 months from now the combination of new generations of models and improved tooling, scaffolding and workflows will likely make the current iteration of AI look quaint by comparison. There's no rush to figure out a technology that's advancing and changing this quickly because most of what you learn right now will be about solving problems that will be solved by default in the near future.

That being said, AI is the biggest technological leap since the beginning of the public, consumer facing, internet. And I was there for that. Like the internet it will prove to be both good and bad, corporate consolidation will make the bad worse. And, like the internet, the people who are saying it's not revolutionary are going to look silly in the context of history.

I say this from the perspective of someone who has spent the past year casually (and in recent months intensively) learning how to use AI in practical ways, with quantifiable results, both in my own projects and to help other people solve problems in various domains. If I were to distill my career into one concept, it would be: solving problems. So I feel like I'm in a position to speak about problem solving technology with expertise. If you have a use for LLM powered AI, you'll be surprised how useful it is.

Important: This will be a noisy topic. If you do not wish to see it in your feed, please use the Ignore feature to hide it!

Tip: If the large number of comments are cluttering up the topic and you just want to see the main giveaway posts, click Collapse Replies at the top of the comments.

🎵 It's the most wonderful time of the year 🎵

This is our annual holiday game giveaway topic. Spread some goodwill and holiday cheer with others!

Before you participate, please make sure you read the rules below.

Rules

-Gifters

Post your available games, the platform and method of delivery, rules for your giveaways (e.g. first-come first-serve, random draw, etc.), and any additional info or requirements. Feel free to get creative!

-Giftees

Request giveaways. Please make sure you follow the gifter's posted guidelines.

-Guidelines

Anyone can choose to be a gifter, giftee, or both! Giveaway rules are set by individual gifters, but there are handful of guidelines everyone should follow:

1. No grey market keys! Only give away games from reputable sources. If you're not sure what this means, please ask.
2. Requests for games should be done in this topic, but if the gift is a key, those should be delivered by PMs only. Please don't post keys publicly in this topic, even obfuscated ones.

If you're new to these, check out previous giveaway threads to see how these usually go.

Hey there! I'm trying to repurpose a Raspberry Pi that's been collecting dust for a few years, and I'm a bit out of my depth with systems/networking, so I'm hoping for some guidance on what I did wrong (or what I could've done better).

The story is: I upgraded my PC and had an old SSD lying around, and I also had a Raspberry Pi that I never really had time to toy with. I figured I could combine both and make a small family “drive” where everyone can upload photos/videos/documents and keep them in one place at home.

Then I realized the Pi sits right behind the TV, next to the router since the Ethernet cable is short. So I thought: if it's already there, maybe it could also be a media player. The idea was: upload videos and store them on the SSD then play them on the TV via Kodi.

What’s going wrong is that Nextcloud uploads are painfully slow, even short videos take ages, and movies are basically impossible. On top of that, once files are there, Kodi playback is choppy/laggy.

I'm not sure what the real bottleneck is. Nextcloud was already "kinda slow" before Kodi. I don't know if this is Docker overhead/volume configuration, the Pi just being overloaded, Nextcloud background work (previews/scanning/etc.), or the SSD adapter to USB C limiting speeds.

If you have ideas, I'd really appreciate pointers on where to start diagnosing, and what the "sane" architecture is here (even if the answer is "don't do both on one Pi").

TL;DR: Tried to reuse an old SSD and a Raspberry Pi to make a family Nextcloud drive, then added Kodi because the Pi is behind the TV. Nextcloud uploads are extremely slow and Kodi playback is laggy. Not sure if it's Docker, Nextcloud tuning, USB/SSD adapter, or just too much for a small device. Looking for beginner-friendly troubleshooting steps and/or a better setup plan.

Hi Tilderinos!

First, apologies for the ramble. I'm based in the US. I got a letter from our state's child services department telling me that one of my relatives who is a minor has been removed from the custody of their parents. The letter asked me to complete a form to indicate the level of involvement I'm interested in having with said child's placement and/or support.

We don't know what the child's situation is. I'm the furthest-degree relative they search for - hopefully someone closer will step forward, but unfortunately, based on what I know of our part of the family, other relatives may not be in the best situation to take on a child. I'm hoping that this would be a temporary situation and that the ultimate goal is for the child to be reunited with their parent(s), but we have no information at all right now other than "child was removed and we're looking for support from relatives."

I'm going to call the contact info on the letter tomorrow, as we received it after business hours today. We've discussed our comfort levels with caring for a child and what type of situation we could say yes to and what we would have to say no to. We are very fortunate to be in a stable situation (in control of our own housing, dual incomes, qualified for leave programs, etc.). Our point of view currently is that this child is a child in need of support, and we are willing to provide what we can as long as it's not overtly detrimental to us or to them. I already filled out the form the best I could in a manner that corresponds with our comfort level, which is approximately that placement with us would be a possibility but not right this instant, and otherwise we're happy to correspond or communicate in whatever way benefits the child. (We suspect that the child is currently 1-3 hours from us, so frequent physical assistance on our part would be less doable unless the child were placed with us.)

Is this something you've been through before? What experiences have you had with child placement? (I'm actually not even really sure what questions to ask beyond this, but if you have been down this road and are comfortable sharing, please do!) We've discussed adopting or fostering before, but only in hypotheticals, as it's something we weren't planning to look into for 5-10 years (we're in our early 30's and are not having bio kids). Something externally-initiated like this was never on our radar. Any guidance, tips for questions to ask, or experiences you would like to share would be welcome!

I wanted to hit the gym all my life, but I never really made it until this year. Granted, I do have a sports background and have been active most of my life, but going to the gym was never really for me, until I decided to really do it this year. After years of shoulder and knee problems, I thought adding some muscle to my frame was definitely needed if I didn't want to be in pain all my life.

Since I had thought about going to the gym for years now, I feel like I gathered a good bit of information that REALLY helped me to go now. Here they are:

• The routine is more important than the results; regardless of any information I give you about macros, weights, sets, proteins, whatever all that, going to the gym one more time is going to be better than not going. Results take a LONG time. You will not see progress after a month. You may not see progress after 2 months. You may start to see some progress after 3 months. Real progress takes many months, years. That's why your number one priority should simply be to go to the gym, even if your workout is the worst ever and you use two machines in 30 minutes. Going to the gym 4 times a week is better than 3, going 3 times a week is better than 2 and so on. It takes about 3 months to a year to have the routine set in your life. After that and during that, you'll have all the time in the world to think about how to optimize your training, but just going and sticking to the routine of going is more important than anything else.

• Choose the easiest, most accessible gym option; the goal is to go. You should make this the easiest for you. Choose a gym that is easily accessible, before or after work. The closer, the better. Heck, your gym can even be your own home! Make some place for you to workout if you want to. You can easily do very good home workouts with maybe 100-150$ worth of equipment.

• Stick to a simple workout plan; There are some easy plans: target 2 muscle groups per workout, or alternate upper lower body; try to hit the muscles two times a week (2x biceps, 2x triceps, etc.). 3-5 exercises per workout is fine. 1-2min rest, take more if you feel like it, take less if you feel like it.

• Listen to your body for reps/weight; Going for 5 reps or going for 15 reps, it doesn't matter that much at the start, as long as you can do 2-3 series of that. Try to aim for anything from 6 to 12 reps, if you feel you can do more, do it, if you feel like you cannot, then don't. Some times I do 6, sometimes I do 12, but I try to aim for 8. The routine is more important than the results, all you need to do is go to the gym, the perfect workout can come in later.

• The movement is more important than the weight; building muscle is simply your muscles tearing and healing. As long as your muscles tear, you've done a good job. But that tear must come from a movement done well, or else you'll tear something that was not supposed to. Go for slower reps if needed, less explosion in your movements. Watch a video on how to do specific exercises if needed, some are mandatory to make sure you don't injure yourself (squats, deadlifts).

• Don't overdo it, progressive overload is the key; getting injured is EASY, the goal is to go to the gym, not be hurt. Go lower on the weights at first, it's not a competition. I started my dumbell press with like 10 pounds, shaking like crazy, it's normal. We've all been there. Don't ego lift. The routine is more important than the results. The big weights will take a while to reach, but it'll happen progressively.

• Have some kind of goal that is not tied to a number; I guess this one is more personal, but I feel like it's way easier to stick to the routine when you don't "care" about the results as much. The true goal is to be fit or to be lean or to be muscular or to be healthy, no? I feel like those are achievable long term and are guaranteed to come from the routine. I think if you're a beginner and set some kind of arbitrary number, you're not an expert to know if that goal is realistic or not and it makes the whole working out thing to be dependent on a result that you don't have the slightest idea how difficult it is or how long it takes to reach it. I think goals with a number should come after the routine is set in, not before going to the gym, but hey, that's just my two cents.

• Eat enough, drink water, get more protein; protein shakes are easy and not that costly, just having a protein shake is fine. Not having it is fine too. If you want to build muscle, you should aim for 100-150g of protein per day. Make sure you eat enough and well, but in the end, the routine is more important. Remember, getting fit happens at the gym, getting lean happens in the kitchen. Weight loss and weight gains both happen in the kitchen. Realistically, a normal genetic male will gain AT BEST 10-12 pounds of muscle the first year of working out (assuming optimal results), so you can aim for that, but just know that your weight gains might not be muscle.

• Use ChatGPT to help if needed; When I started going at the gym, I followed all these tips, but I didn't really know that to do. So I asked ChatGPT to make me a 4 days a week workout plan, 5 exercises: pull, push, legs, full body. I tried what it gave me for about a month, but I used that month to just replace exercises I didn't like and I slowly started making my own program to fit what I wanted. But I was super happy that I at least had a starting program. I realize that's what's stopping a lot of people and you can use AI to help you out with that, especially if you don't have money to buy a program or pay a trainer to make one for you.

• Be disciplined, but be kind to yourself; There will be days when you will not be able to workout. There will be days when you will not want to workout. There will be days when you will feel bad about working out. It's ok to miss a day, it's ok to miss a week. Remember, the routine is more important. Just make sure to go back to your routine as soon as possible. Missing one workout after going 20 times in a row feels a lot less bad than missing 2-3 every week.

Finally, if you have any questions about starting the gym, feel free to ask. I'll gladly help.

EDIT: As one user pointed out, this is not about Apple Music the streaming platform, this is about basically itunes but itunes no longer technically exists as an application.

So a little background: my father just died and a big part of his life was listening to music, for most of his life he's been building themed compilations of songs he liked using whatever medium was available, magnetic reel tapes in the '60s and '70s, then cassette tapes, then CDs, and of course playlists for the last 20 or so years. Now my mother and I would like to back up and save a lot of that work as those compilations have a lot of sentimental value and are pretty unique. There's lots of old obscure rhythm and blues and soul songs that you aren't really going to come across anywhere else. However, it's pretty much all locked into Apple Music, which isn't really a problem in the here and now, because we all have tended to use macs since my mother adopted them in the '80s or '90s. However, we don't really want that data just locked into a private ecosystem that has been getting more and more restricted and where we have less and less control.

So I'm looking for a way to keep those playlists intact and export them out of Apple Music in a playable format and into a less locked in system to then back them up. Most of the music should be DRM free as a lot of it would have been taken off of CDs probably as MP3 files, though a lot of that would've happened 15+ years ago.

Does anyone have any ideas about the best way to do that? I seem to be able to manually export each one into a .txt file but of course it's not really playable sound files. My tech skills are pretty limited, I have about an average amount of knowledge or even slightly more for someone my age (30s) who grew up around computers and the internet but I grew up after it necessary to have basic coding skills to use computers so my experience doing even basic coding or running scripts is pretty much nil. Any ideas would be appreciated.

Edit: it’s version 1.0.6.10

I'm not sure where exactly to post this, but most folks in the US and Canada can check out where their power is coming from. I work in the power generation industry, and I feel there are many aspects that people just do not understand when it comes to generation and what we need to go fully renewable and/or carbon free.

"Independent system operators" (better known as ISOs) can provide you with your local power information. A nice overview can be found here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Regional_transmission_organization_(North_America)#Independent_system_operators_(ISOs)

I live in New England, so my local info can be seen here: https://www.iso-ne.com/isoexpress/
I can see the projected MW load, how much was scheduled to cover it, the cost per MW, where the power is coming from (at the moment, 5% is oil, 6% is hydro, 12% is "renewables"... as burning trash is considered renewable as much as solar and wind lulz, 19% is nuclear, and 52% is natural gas [NG]), and I can also see the CO2 outputs (which before you make a judgement call to state that yes, NG is the highest producer of CO2, if you look at the MW produced per ton of CO2, it's WAY better than the others!).

If you're in Texas and were there in early '21 during the Uri storm, I'm sure you've heard of ERCOT (https://www.ercot.com/gridmktinfo/dashboards). That region has a much higher demand for power in general, and I do find it amusing (yet not at all surprising) that no CO2 info is offered.

In the California area (which is where I hail from), it's displayed here: https://www.caiso.com/supply. I have, at times, found that their imported MW actually were the main supplier, which let's just be honest: they buy power from NV and AZ and that power isn't "clean", but they tote that they're so good to the environment! (Please also note, CA is a huge supplier of CO2 courtesy of all the forest fires.) Also, note that my company literally owns two "peakers" (that's a term for an engine you can turn on and get power out of quickly, without all the slow startup times or shutdown issues that typical power plants have - think of it as a jet engine you just turn on for quick power with really high emissions compared to most plants) that put out more emissions than were typically allowed on permits when they were commissioned, but glorious Newsome realized that balancing the ability to charge your Tesla and having rolling blackouts was a bit precarious. Also alsø: if you look at the CaISO page, the geothermal output is all my company. That range of plants takes the grey water from SF and reincorporates it into the geysers to keep up the 100% clean output.

So, after the fact, I'll state that I'm a little biased: I grew up in CA, and I'm very conscious about emissions and climate change (and yes, I believe that has been playing into effect for a while). But I also am a realist living near California's little red-headed stepsibling Massachusetts that is trying to shoot their foot for carbon emissions and the like.

But, I wanted to put this out there because I hope that folks (who aren't in the industry) might appreciate the insight, and also learn how to figure out what is going on when you plug your <insert power demand item here>. :)

Hey there, going to keep this short: I used to love camping and hiking, but now can't quite bring myself to do it, this is partially due to the fact that I am single, and none of my (very few) local friends would ever be interested in joining.

So, does anyone around here have any tips or ideas on how to get into hiking or camping again?

Mods - I didn't know where to put this or what to title and tag the post with.

This is mostly just venting and confessing.

There's a lot of back-story to this but I'll start at the trigger and work from there.

The short version

My boss is remote-only, so calls and WhatsApp messages are how we communicate. Wednesday he called me and started the conversation off by how tired he was today and why. To cut to the chase, he revealed to me, in detail, that he is a white supremacist, a holocaust denier, and potentially an actual Nazi. These aren't conclusions I am making based on piecing information together -- he outline each aspect at length while I silently listened.

Throughout the one-sided conversation, I tried to change the subject back to work (you know, since I am at work) numerous times and didn't respond to anything he was saying, but after the last part, I just hung up on him.

There is no excuse for me letting him spew this hateful bullshit and I am ashamed of myself. I normally have no problem with conflict and ostracizing myself by calling out hateful bullshit people say but I chose to be silent this time because $$$.

I've been going back and forth between being angry, ashamed, disappointed, and just sad since then. I knew my boss was a conspiracy nut because he's told me some of his wild beliefs before but none of them seemed hateful and I told him I wasn't into that sort of stuff. I don't know why he suddenly decided to unload all of this on me.

I know there is a reality where I don't let this ruin my job, but I don't think I am able to do this.

I need this job because I need the money. I moved across the country to work this job and now that I know who I am making money for, I have to quit. I have to find another job immediately. I can't afford to quit without having another job lined up. I had been looking for a better job for 2 full years before I moved here for this one and had no luck. I've done nothing but work since moving here for this job. I haven't made the time to try and make friends and instead just worked more and more.

I feel like there were signs (details not mentioned here) I ignored out of desperation. I feel defeated.

The only thing I know I must do is find a therapist and find a new job.

These days, it's been difficult for me to figure out what to make for dinner. I scroll through recipes on TikTok and various other recipe pages that I've come across, but I can never seem to figure out what exactly I want to make. It gets to a point where I just give up and eat out somewhere... which is a convenient option but not very cost-effective especially for someone who's going on one year post-grad and trying to make more home-cooked meals.

Do you plan your meals throughout the week? How far ahead do you plan out what you're going to make? Do you meal prep and, I guess as an extension of this topic, how does one start getting into the habit of meal prepping? Would love some help trying to get back into the rhythm of cooking.

News items come and go fast these days, which means we often see something as its happening, in the thick of things. So much of what we see stops there, and we don't get the full story later, once the dust has settled, because resolution is a lot less newsworthy.

This is a chance to ask about old news items (or other events) and get updates on how things have panned out from people in the know. Also, interpret "news" very loosely here. This topic is open to, well, ANYTHING people want updates about. It could be about headline stuff, or something in, I don't know, the Stardew Valley modding scene, for example.

For organization's sake, please limit each top-level comment to ONE topic. If you'd like to ask about multiple things, feel free! Just please make them as separate comments so that individual threads aren't a mix of different answers to different prompts.

I tried a quick search here and just wanted to see if anyone uses and recommends Ground News.

Since I got my new phone I realized that I haven't really installed any news apps yet, I used to use Boston Globe, AP News, and the BBC for just general goings on, but I don't live in Boston anymore, AP News gives SO many notifications about sports and random topics, and I think(?) BBC is in some hot water right now.

So I've been looking for a new news digest so I can keep current events in mind again. I've been getting a lot of ads for Ground News and some creators that I like have done ads for them.

I'm definitely left leaning and in the US and would primary like to keep up with news around home if that helps!

Virgin

This album is a banger. Very different in character than her earlier work, much more mature and introspective. I enjoyed her earlier music in the "oh, if it's on the streaming mix I will listen to it" but this album is something else.

I connect to most songs first through the lyrics, then through the music, so here's a lyrical sample.

From Hammer, opening song:

There's a heat in the pavement,
my mercury's raising
Don't know if it's love
or if it's ovulation
When you're holding a hammer,
everything looks like a nail

Bonus, two songs from her previous album. Solar Power that I love, though I feel Virgin is stronger as an album.

Stoned at the Nail Salon

Well, my hot blood's been burnin' for so many summers now
It's time to cool it down, wherever that leads
'Cause all the music you loved at sixteen, you'll grow out of
And all the times they will change, it'll all come around
I don't know
Maybe I'm just
Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon again

Secrets from a Girl (who's seen it all)

Welcome to sadness
The temperature is unbearable until you face it
Thank you for flying with Strange Airlines
I will be your tour guide today
Your emotional baggage can be picked up at carousel number 2
Please be careful so that it doesn't fall onto someone you love
When we've reached your final destination
I will leave you to it
You'll be fine
I'm just gonna show you in
And you can stay as long as you need
To get familiar with the feeling
And then when you're ready, I'll be outside
And we can go look at the sunrise
By euphoria mixed with existential vertigo?
Cool

Hi!

I've decided to move some of my selfhosted things from on-prem (at home ;)) to the cloud, and at the same time I'd like to try and run this in EU, or at least europe. I'd like to get started fairly quickly as this was prompted by one of my home servers halfway dying on me.

The features I'm most interested in are approximately:

• Virtual machines.
• Storage. Cheap long term for backups (similar to S3 Glacier).
• Managed DB, most likely postgresql.
• Serverless jobs (similar to AWS lambda).
• IaaS (I've got a bit of experience with terraform, but it doesn't have to be that).
• Builtin monitoring.
• Git hosting, it's likely that I'll just go with github/gitlab here, but if there's a nice alternative I'm up for it.
• Automated sending of email. I'm using AWS SES atm, and I'm very happy with it.

Some other things:

• I intend to run a combination of services written by others, e.g. nextcloud and software I've written myself.
• I'll most likely be running linux only, but I prefer to select my own flavour where it makes sense.
• I much prefer managing permissions and users in gcp than in aws as I find aws way too complicated for my needs while gcp mostly just makes sense.
• I'd prefer a platform that's being developed and improving over time with big potential for the future.
• This is a hobby project, and some of these requirements may seem a bit contradictory or non-optimal, but that's ok.
• I have some experience running kubernetes (self-hosted), and I'm not a huge fan of the complexity and yaml files, at the same time OpenStack is getting kinda old, and I don't know if I think it's a platform for the future. But from what I see most of the options seems to be built on top of one of those.
• Cheaper is of course better, I don't have a company-sized budget, this is all coming out of my "hobby pocket".
• I live in Sweden, so datacenters geographically close is a plus.

Right now I'm looking at European alternatives to Amazon Web Services (AWS), and Scaleway is looking the most promising, but I'm really skimming the top when it comes to info atm.

Hope that makes sense =) I'm interested in all kinds of feedback.

His Christmas present is going to be a custom-built arcade cabinet. The internals are simply a Nintendo Switch, an 8bitdo arcade controller, a computer monitor, and some speakers. Pretty simple stuff!

He has next to zero experience playing video games and I haven't really exposed him to my games either (screen time and all). So, he's probably got about zero coordination when it comes to using controllers or playing platformers, etc. Also, he tends to get very frustrated with himself if he can't do something, causing him to want to give up.

What are some recommendations for Nintendo Switch (1, not 2) games that will ease him into gaming?

Thanks!