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    1. What's something you've moved on from?

      What's something you grew out of/moved on from/phased out? How do you feel about it now? Fondness? Embarassment? A nostalgic ache? Why did you end up moving on from it? Was it a conscious...

      What's something you grew out of/moved on from/phased out?

      How do you feel about it now? Fondness? Embarassment? A nostalgic ache?

      Why did you end up moving on from it?

      Was it a conscious decision, or was it something that happened over time?

      40 votes
    2. Anyone want to share their thoughts on the latest Dresden Files novel, Twelve Months?

      Just curious if anyone other Tildes users out there are fans of the Dresden Files novels and might have read the latest, Twelve Months. It just released a few days ago and I just couldn't put it...

      Just curious if anyone other Tildes users out there are fans of the Dresden Files novels and might have read the latest, Twelve Months. It just released a few days ago and I just couldn't put it down.

      I do want to keep my review spoiler free, but I think this is the best book in the series in awhile.

      Wondering if anyone else had thoughts!

      14 votes
    3. What's a culture shock that you experienced?

      Could be from a place you visited or moved to. Could be from a community or group you joined. Whatever it was, there was something new or unfamiliar to you, and you had to wrap your head around...

      Could be from a place you visited or moved to. Could be from a community or group you joined.

      Whatever it was, there was something new or unfamiliar to you, and you had to wrap your head around that something that you weren't used to.

      What was the culture shock, how did you respond to it, and how do you feel about it now?

      45 votes
    4. Terra. Invicta.

      I controlled Mars, but the Servants, who worship the aliens as gods, had taken Phobos and Deimos. From a previous failed campaign I knew that if I let the Servants gain orbital superiority over...

      I controlled Mars, but the Servants, who worship the aliens as gods, had taken Phobos and Deimos. From a previous failed campaign I knew that if I let the Servants gain orbital superiority over Mars, they would shell all of my mines into regolith from low orbit while I watched helplessly. Then, starved of crucial shipbuilding resources, my faction - the Resistance - would wither and die. I’m sure they felt the same fear looking at my fleet. We were both building up our forces as quickly as we could: reinforcements, whether from Earth or the Inner Belt, would take more than a year to arrive, meaning that whoever won the battle for Mars orbit would control the fate of the red planet - and its riches - forever. Or at least until the aliens arrived to wipe us off the map, which amounts to the same thing. Eventually I was able to gain a sliver of a technological lead and force their fleet to battle.

      —-

      Hooded Horse came out of nowhere a few years ago to become one of the best (IMO) indie game publishers anywhere. I still haven’t been able to figure out whether they’re actually that good or if my tastes and theirs just overlap perfectly, but who cares: they’ve produced hit after hit. Not necessarily critical successes - though almost all of them are rated “overwhelmingly positive” on Steam - but games that just rule. The kind of game that swings for the fences and succeeds in more than it fails.

      Terra Invicta is one of those games. Aliens have come to Earth, and you play as one of the secret societies reacting to that news. The first 10-15 hours of a run are spent in what is basically a political thriller simulator - your agents subvert governments, spread propaganda, and initiate coups to try to control as much of the globe as possible. All the while, you devote every resource you can to sprint towards where the actual game begins: space. At that point Terra Invicta turns into an outrageously detailed orbital mechanics simulation. I haven’t actually won yet so I’m not sure what happens after that, but so far it’s awesome.

      It’s not for everybody. The game is kind of hostile - it’s obscenely complicated, really doesn’t give you much in the way of tutorials, and in each of my four attempts, thus far, I’ve realized that I made a deadly mistake about 3 hours ago from which there’s no recovery. (Specifically: One time, I concentrated too much of my space infrastructure on Mars, so when the Aliens cracked the planet, I lost everything. Another time, I was so focused on space that when the China-India-EU alliance invaded my America, I was wiped out. Another time, I was so aggressive against the Alien quislings so early that the Aliens left everyone else alone and crushed me.)

      But if you’re the kind of person that thinks spreadsheets are fun - if you’re the kind of person whose biggest problem with strategy games is that they’re too easy - TI is the game for you.

      19 votes
    5. Movies: Your personal year in review for 2025

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your movie viewing for 2025. Movies you talk about do NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases. Feel free to share: Favorites...

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your movie viewing for 2025.

      Movies you talk about do NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases.

      Feel free to share:

      • Favorites
      • Disappointments
      • Surprises
      • Memorable moments
      • Self-reflections
      • Anything else!

      Let us know how your movie watching for 2025 went.

      25 votes
    6. Struggling in my relationship

      Preface: Sorry if this isn't the place, and if I'm cagey on some specifics. Also sorry for the length, this turned out a lot longer than I anticipated. My partner and I have been together for...

      Preface: Sorry if this isn't the place, and if I'm cagey on some specifics. Also sorry for the length, this turned out a lot longer than I anticipated.

      My partner and I have been together for nearly 8 years at this point. This was my first serious, long-term committed relationship; every other one I'd had was short-lived (<3 months) and I hadn't exactly had a lot of them. Maybe this is why I was blind to the cracks until things got unavoidable.

      It started off strong and passionate of course, and things moved rather quickly. We (they, I'm not on the title) bought a house and we were expecting a child within a year. I should have kept things slower, thought with my head instead of blindly following my heart. I'd been very lonely for a very long time. I was happy those first few years, even if in hindsight the cracks were beginning to show. Even before baby came along, intimacy fell off a cliff. I had many talks about this with them, which led nowhere much really. The rest of the relationship still felt solid to me though. I pressed on.


      In the beginning, they had a better job than I did. I earned far less. Luckily an opportunity came up for me to finish my schooling and further my career, and I put a lot of work into achieving just that. Now things have changed with that, and I feel like we could be doing well together... If it weren't for the financial instability I feel they bring. I'd never been great with money, but my partner's father took me under his wing and taught me a lot of financial literacy. I became adept at putting together spreadsheets and managing our finances. Our first major crisis we overcame together through being very fiscally conservative and digging our way out. We also had several windfalls that helped us out. Then... another crisis, again because of overspending on their end. We pulled from our IRAs in order to stay afloat, with promises to do better. Then... another crisis. Again. Same reasons. We put together a loan against the home's equity. More promises.

      We are again heading to a crisis. We are out of windfalls and options and frankly I'm exhausted.


      Finally, parenting and housekeeping. I've always loved how my partner cares so much for their children (from a prior relationship) as well as ours. They have a way of making magical moments which I envy. This is contrasted by their complete inability to parent effectively. There's no consequences, no expectations, no boundaries, and it's infuriating. Initially it wasn't quite that bad, and I felt I had equal say in parenting. Over the years, that's eroded to my partner viewing me as authoritarian and domineering. The kids know they'll get their way with them so why would they ever come to me first?

      Maybe it was the extra time during COVID but they also put more effort into housekeeping early on as well. Now I feel it mostly falls on my shoulders, and my will to clean and keep up is murdered by the fact that within hours it's a mess again. It isn't helped by the fact that my partner is a hoarder. I have to gut things from the house in secret. I haven't seen the corners of my walls in ages. I spent a week while they were away cleaning the home top to bottom last year. Within a day it looked like a bomb went off.


      These are all things I've tried discussing with them, multiple times, over the years. I mostly get brushed off, or (what I feel now are) empty promises. Most infuriating to me is "I don't know what you want me to say." I want you to say what's in your heart, what you feel! Don't tell me something you think I want to hear, be honest.

      I feel I know where this is going, I don't want to fall in the same trap I see many couples are in where it's clearly over and yet they keep moving along. We're not married, a clean break is reasonable, I know my partner can be mature about things because their relationship with their ex is amazingly calm and chill.

      I'm terrified in a way of being alone again.


      I don't really know where to turn for more perspective. I've already talked with my sister, and a close co-worker who is going through some of the same feelings I am. Those conversations have been very helpful. Recently, what really put things in stark contrast was the other day when my partner's father asked "So is everything ok between you two?" If he went out and asked, it means it's really obvious things are not ok.

      I've been fantasizing a lot lately about what a split would be like. Making plans for where to go, and figuring out how to reconcile things like accounts, items, and debts. Worst of all I've been fantasizing about being with other people; the intimacy and passions has been gone between us for a long time. The last time my partner initiated anything between us was a year ago, and I don't even remember the time before that. Everything feels so wrong and unsatisfactory.

      I told them yesterday we need a frank talk, and not through text this time - their preferred method of communication with me for a while now... But I have no idea when we even have time for that away from the kids.

      Closing thought: I don't want to feel like I've pre-determined my outcome here. I feel I've done what I can though, to make my own feelings clear. Thank you for any thoughts.

      53 votes
    7. How have you changed in the last year? What are your goals for this year?

      I didn't see a thread about this at the start of the year and I was wondering about how you guys see your past year and this one coming. I guess I'll start. This year, a lot has changed for me, I...

      I didn't see a thread about this at the start of the year and I was wondering about how you guys see your past year and this one coming.

      I guess I'll start. This year, a lot has changed for me, I am so much different than how I was last year, and so is my life.

      • I started ADHD meds in january of last year. Completely changed my life, I am now able to tackle the challenges of daily life as a grown adult.

      • I started cooking A LOT more. I went from eating out almost every day, to cooking almost every day (or at least eat my planned meals).

      • I went on the dating apps this summer and found a girlfriend :) after a 5 months relationship, it feels like I found the love of my life

      • I started weight training this fall. Have been going at it 3-4 times a week for 4 months now, it's going great!

      • I finally rekindled with my family (my brother and my sister), I now see them at least once every 2 weeks!


      For 2026, I want to reduce my restaurants spending to only once a week, twice a month, or when necessary. I want to meal plan/cook many meals for the week, once a week.

      I want to start some kind of cardio training (when my knees will be better...).

      I also want to better plan my classes (I'm a teacher). I feel like I improvise too much and want to have a better plan moving forward.


      How do you feel about your past year and this one?

      28 votes
    8. What's something you're "in too deep" on?

      A little white lie that got bigger than you anticipated. A hobby you got a little too into. The sunk costs of something irreversible in your life. Whatever it is, you're "in to deep" on it and...

      A little white lie that got bigger than you anticipated.
      A hobby you got a little too into.
      The sunk costs of something irreversible in your life.

      Whatever it is, you're "in to deep" on it and think fondly of surfacing (whether that's possible for your situation or not).

      Share what it is, how it came to be that way, and what's next for you.

      59 votes
    9. How to practically liquidate lots of little things of moderate value

      Operation: Move Far Away is well underway in my house. As part of this operation, I am realizing that I have quite a lot of Stuff. Stuff that is worth selling, but not huge collections that I can...

      Operation: Move Far Away is well underway in my house.

      As part of this operation, I am realizing that I have quite a lot of Stuff. Stuff that is worth selling, but not huge collections that I can get an auction house involved with. This is Stuff that I have inherited, or happened upon over the years of being in various hobbies.

      Things like alternate cover DnD books , what I assume is the exact same collection of Pokemon cards that every other 30something has, porcelain dolls of some flavor, coins, video game paraphernalia, that kind of thing.

      I figure the best way to liquidate this stuff is just to list it all on ebay, but that requires an account with a buildup of reputation that I neither have, nor have time to build up.

      I figure the worst way is to take a box of stuff to the nearest pawn store and ask what they'll give me for it.

      I am curious what kind of middle ground approaches other people have tried. Is there some version of a business that takes Stuff and sells it on ebay, pocketing some percentage of the sale? Is there a different kind of business that I should be looking for?

      This has to be a common enough scenario that a solution exists in some way, but I'm just not sure exactly what to look for.

      39 votes
    10. "Visa" gift cards - What should I be looking at?

      (Not sure this should be under ~finance, but not sure where else to post?) I've been de-googling and going more privacy-based for most anything I can lately, and I always love when my company...

      (Not sure this should be under ~finance, but not sure where else to post?)

      I've been de-googling and going more privacy-based for most anything I can lately, and I always love when my company gifts me a $100 Visa gift card for Christmas.
      I find myself paying for a lot more of the booze in our lives (usually one shot at going out, and before additionally replenishing a few dollars on my TouchTunes account because I've only used gift cards on it) because now nothing's tracking my sinful habits. :)
      Honestly, I mostly would like to use this card to do online things with apps I honestly don't want to be attached to (specifically Discord, and I'd like to recharge TouchTunes, but... that's more of a secondary option).

      That being said, I'd like to get some sort of non-"traceable" type of card (that is, physical and not requiring an account or app), and I'd prefer to keep as much of my "investment" as I can (purchase charges, fees, or whatnot). I would like a rechargeable option, but I feel that would be too pinpoint-y. I could just go to my local store (in the US) and buy cards with cash, but while I have no problem with that, I'm also not that paranoid and I am a little lazy heh.

      I asked my DDG search, and AI has highlighted "toasty choice" (at toastycard dot com) which looks sketch AF, probably because it appears you need an app. Maybe I'm paranoid, but it just looks too sketch for me.

      So, I would like to hear folks' thoughts on this. Do you have a spot you'd recommend to purchase "gift" cards online, or a local spot (as I mentioned, US companies would be required), and any strings attached you'd highlight that may be avoidable?

      20 votes
    11. Executive (dys)function flavors?

      @RoyalHenOil's comment in another thread got me thinking, and I feel like it might be helpful for me to hear what other Tilderinos have to share about this. I've wondered for years if I might have...

      @RoyalHenOil's comment in another thread got me thinking, and I feel like it might be helpful for me to hear what other Tilderinos have to share about this. I've wondered for years if I might have ADHD. Any time I've looked into it, it never seems like I check enough boxes for that to be an accurate label. But I've also gotten the impression that many psychological things like ADHD might be better understood as a spectrum (or even a region?), so lately I keep coming back to the possibility that I just have some other/related flavor of executive dysfunction. Or maybe I just haven't figured out how to "adult" properly yet for other reasons. I don't know, but it feels like being able to name the way my brain works would help things somehow.

      I tried for hours to write up an explanation of my experiences, but I couldn't come up with anything that felt accurate and was a reasonable length, so the five-second version is this: The thing I keep coming across and identifying with is the "hyperfocus mode" that some people report. I enjoy this but also feel like it must have something to do with my struggles in some areas. I can prioritize tasks effectively plenty of the time, but I also can't at other times. If I used an Eisenhower matrix, things in the "important but not urgent" category would mostly be gathering dust (except for ones I happened to focus on). I don't really have any control over the "hyperfocus mode" and its target changes unpredictably.

      There's an exhausting amount of nuance I could add to the above. I'd really love to hear from anyone who's had experience with any sort of divergent executive function that doesn't seem to fit into any of the currently available boxes we use to understand these things.

      Addendum: I reread RoyalHenOil's comment just now and I think responding to it directly might be easier than writing out my own explanation from scratch, so I'll include that response here for anyone who feels like reading it.

      Annotated comment

      I'm more the hyperfocusing sort than the easily-distracted sort (I don't really experience boredom or anything resembling internal "chatter" that a lot of people with ADHD describe),

      I do identify with this. I think there's some degree of "chatter" for me, though.

      but it ultimately amounts to similar behavior: I have a hard time prioritizing.

      I guess? Sometimes?

      It feels like it should be easy to switch activities, but I just can't. It's like trying to move a paralyzed body part; you're firing all the right neurons, but nothing happens.

      I'm not sure if I would describe it this way. This is definitely how it feels when trying to get out of bed if I'm really drowsy, but switching activities mostly doesn't feel like this. It can sometimes though.

      When I'm focused on Task A but know I need to switch to Task B, I can't stop thinking about Task A. They're basically intrusive thoughts that aren't under my conscious control. Even if I do successfully pull myself away from Task A, I can barely do Task B because I'm still thinking about Task A — and I'm feeling frazzled the whole time.

      Yeah, this is more or less true for me. It is possible for the hyperfocus to switch over to Task B eventually, but I don't feel like I have any control over that.

      But if I just give [in] to the hyperfocus and devote myself to Task A until it's complete, I feel great. I'm in the zone. It's better than meditation.

      So much yes. It's like the flow state I can get from practicing music, except it's easier to enter and not taxing to maintain.

      My hyperfocus can be a good thing. It means that whatever Task A is, I can fully immerse myself in it and do it exceptionally well. (. . .) But I'm useless at anything that resembles multitasking because I end up obsessing over just one of the tasks (even if it's not that complex) and neglecting all the others.

      Agree. Some of the best work I've done and most fun I've had has been while hyperfocusing. But when multitasking, I feel almost useless.

      I did very well in school and I do very well in the workplace (so long as my supervisors make good use of me)

      Same.

      but my private life is a completely different matter. I have a hard time maintaining routines and establishing habits. I'm always neglecting the majority of household tasks and my personal needs; if I'm on a vacuuming kick, for example, the floor will be spotless, but everything else will be in shambles because all I can see is the floor.

      Yes and no. Some routines/habits stick and others don't. I'm generally fine with chores, though most of them don't happen on a routine, they just get done when they need to get done, I guess.

      One of the worst aspects of my hyperfocus is that it feeds into itself. For example, being sleep-deprived makes me far more likely to hyperfocus, and hyperfocusing makes me far more likely to experience insomnia. If I do break out of my hyperfocus tendencies, I can usually only maintain it for a week or so until, inevitably, something throws off the delicate balance.

      You know, I don't think this had occurred to me, but that totally seems plausible. At the very least, I do know I end up in feedback loops where hyperfocusing on one thing leads to a new thing to hyperfocus on, so the need for variety that eventually kicks in to break me out is already satisfied by the new thing.

      30 votes
    12. Moving out soon. Think out loud with me regarding saving money vs. quality of life.

      Hello all! My lease is up mid-March of this year. For personal mental health reasons I would like to secure a move-in date of around mid-February and perhaps even earlier than that, because I'd...

      Hello all! My lease is up mid-March of this year. For personal mental health reasons I would like to secure a move-in date of around mid-February and perhaps even earlier than that, because I'd like to have things finalized before my ex starts her own moving out process. This is the first time I'll be apartment hunting on my own, and while I have definitely talked to many friends and mentors regarding my options, I figured I wouldn't mind getting thoughts from folks here.

      I have a few hard requirements for personal reasons: I would ideally not be too far from groceries (I have a car), be able to go for walks/runs without having to drive to a specific place, not too far away from the main airport here as I have to fly for work very very occasionally or when visiting family, and central HVAC. I have, generally, two options to choose from:

      1. The expensive option, 1500 base rent and estimated 300-400 for utilities/parking/etc. At this time I do not believe it possible or even worth looking for anything slightly cheaper than this - whether it's a studio or a 1bed, the cost is more or less the same in this area. And even if the location were less of a factor and I looked farther away from the main city / big hubs, at best we're looking at $100 cheaper and I don't think that is big enough savings given how inconvenient location is.

      2. The budget option, estimated 700-800 with utilities included, 3 housemates. A friend is currently sharing a house that his family owns with two other housemates. I've never met said housemates but they are personal friends of his. All housemates are male, I am female. I would be getting a single master bedroom, attached bathroom. At this time I do not consider the... eyebrow-raising-ness? of being the sole woman to be a problematic factor.

      Some of the factors I'm considering, that probably isn't comprehensive because I'm new to all this:

      • Living with housemates. I haven't had to share a house with so many people since my first year of college, which was 14 years ago. My ex did keep me honest over the last year of living together, and from a brief call with the friend who would be renting out the room, his housemates do keep to themselves, don't really use the kitchen, plenty of fridge space, etc.

      • Living alone. I actually haven't "lived alone" since the last semester before I dropped out of college. My roommate at the time was taking a leave of absence and I had the studio to myself for three months. I feel neutral about this.

      • Laundry? House has in unit laundry. No apartment I've looked at has in-unit laundry unless I add at least $200 on top of the base price.

      • WFH and personal space. I do work remotely and for my entire WFH life, I have always had my personal PC setup, bed, and work setup in the same room. This has been difficult for me in the last two months while recovering from the breakup, and moving into a 1bed apartment would allow me to have a dedicated work setup away from bed since I personally value that higher than a nice living room space (no television, no problem). Or I could even fit that work setup into a small but still cozy living room space, who knows. However...

      • MONEY. I've broken down all my fixed monthly costs, including any recurring annual subscriptions. I am estimating very, very high for absolutely everything, such as monthly grocery costs (400/mo, which is the highest that my ex and I split over the last 10 months. We're both very light eaters and "groceries" would include the occasional toiletries restock and such). Right now I am looking at taking home around $1300/mo living in my own apartment, vs. $2300/mo sharing the house.

        • Furnishing a new apartment, vs... not. Ex and I split all costs 50/50 for everything BUT furniture, and she paid for most items such as the sofa, coffee table, TV console, dining room table, ie. she will be taking those items with her. I do not want a large sofa but cozy seating in a living room space is, well, not cheap. The only furniture I'd bring with me is a decent Ikea shelf cabinet thing, my two standing desks, a single bookshelf, a twin bed. I would not be acquiring additional furniture if I move into the single bedroom.
        • Schooling costs. I don't know if I've gotten into this online degree program yet, won't know until probably April, and even if I do get in I am not sure if I will jump into it (though at this time I am leaning towards it just to have a guided path which I'm lacking right now with my career). This is an estimated 30k over the course of 2 years, or $625/mo. Not counting any potential textbooks.
        • Lasik/PRK? I have pretty poor eyesight. I have always been afraid of pulling the trigger on this, but I would like to in the next few years.
        • Current savings. I have a little over $20k in savings. I don't know anything about stocks, I have a 401k I never look at. My financial literacy boils down to "I use my credit card like a debit card" and my only current debt is a financed car, costs are factored into the numbers posted above.
      • Mental health? Monthly therapy costs are factored into my numbers. So is a $150/mo cost of classes at a local muay thai gym (picked up recently for sake of both physical and mental health, joining a community, a regular activity to take me out of the apartment).

      What considerations am I missing from the above? What would you go for? I mentioned I have not lived on my own for a very long time, and to be honest I don't have concrete long-term financial goals. Obviously property ownership is like... the American Dream and whatever... but frankly I am so very far from being able to realize such a goal that it just is not a factor when it comes to me saving money. I just don't want to look back at myself in 2027 and regret my finances. My family is in another part of the state and I can't rely on them for money or housing... well, I actually can, for housing, and save even more money, but I vastly prefer the climate where I am at now and my mental health will suffer far more living with family than with 3 housemates.

      I really appreciate any thoughts! I know I have time, there is no rush, but I am also aware that distracting myself with this has been pretty helpful with, you know, not being too depressed about circumstances.

      28 votes
    13. Food: Your personal year in review for 2025

      Food highlights for the year? Favorite meals? New baking breakthroughs? Hilarious cooking disasters? New restaurants in your area? Delicious snacking? Let us know how all about your food for 2025...

      Food highlights for the year?
      Favorite meals?
      New baking breakthroughs?
      Hilarious cooking disasters?
      New restaurants in your area?
      Delicious snacking?

      Let us know how all about your food for 2025 and what eating/cooking/baking/snacking was like for you.

      14 votes
    14. Not-so-humble brag: What are you proud of that you don't normally get to talk about?

      As we finish out 2025, it's been a minute since we had a question like this and with apologies to @kfwyre for stealing their MO. What's something you're proud of? Maybe from this year, maybe not,...

      As we finish out 2025, it's been a minute since we had a question like this and with apologies to @kfwyre for stealing their MO.

      What's something you're proud of? Maybe from this year, maybe not, but especially something you don't get to talk about a lot, for whatever reason.

      58 votes
    15. Anime: Your personal year in review for 2025

      (Stealing @kfwyre's format since I haven't seen anything similar posted here) This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your anime watching for 2025. What you talk about does NOT have to...

      (Stealing @kfwyre's format since I haven't seen anything similar posted here)

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your anime watching for 2025.

      What you talk about does NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases.

      Feel free to share:

      • Favorites
      • Disappointments
      • Surprises
      • Memorable moments
      • Self-reflections
      • Anything else!

      Let us know how your 2025 went.

      20 votes
    16. Books: Your personal year in review for 2025

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your reading for 2025. Books you talk about do NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases. Feel free to share: Favorites Disappointments...

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your reading for 2025.

      Books you talk about do NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases.

      Feel free to share:

      • Favorites
      • Disappointments
      • Surprises
      • Memorable moments
      • Self-reflections
      • Anything else!

      Let us know how your reading for 2025 went.

      27 votes
    17. How do you want to define 2026 for yourself?

      I was never one to subscribe to new year's resolutions, but I do believe in using the new year to set a mindset for defining the past year and a goal for the new year's theme. How do you want to...

      I was never one to subscribe to new year's resolutions, but I do believe in using the new year to set a mindset for defining the past year and a goal for the new year's theme. How do you want to describe your 2026 this time next year?

      I want mine to be a year of sowing. I want to make roots in a new job which I love and extend myself out to new people to create relationships I'm proud to have.

      Another big focus this year for me will be physical change. I'm the heaviest I've ever been and last time I was close to this weight, I dropped 70lbs in under 6 months. It's time for me to find a sustainable way to reach and maintain that target weight again.

      29 votes
    18. TV: Your personal year in review for 2025

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your TV watching for 2025. What you talk about does NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases. Feel free to share: Favorites...

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your TV watching for 2025.

      What you talk about does NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases.

      Feel free to share:

      • Favorites
      • Disappointments
      • Surprises
      • Memorable moments
      • Self-reflections
      • Anything else!

      Let us know how your 2025 went.

      11 votes
    19. Cas' Short Slices (Reviews)

      Cas' Short Slices were a series of reviews for my favorite short stories, previously posted on reddit. Each comes paired with a full length novel or novella that comes stylistically or...

      Cas' Short Slices were a series of reviews for my favorite short stories, previously posted on reddit. Each comes paired with a full length novel or novella that comes stylistically or thematically close. These are #1 to #5 (by date of posting, not ranking!).


      • Selkie Stories Are For Losers, by Sofia Samatar

      There are stories to read and forget. There are stories that linger in my head long after, shouting to be remembered. Then there are stories that haunt me like a ghost, that don’t need to shout for me to never let them go.

      Selkie Stories… draws you into the heartbreak of a teenage girl lost in the mysteries of her broken home and the stories she tells herself to make sense of it all. It carves a window into her burgeoning relationship with her co-worker Mona and her own darknesses. In the narrator, Sofia writes pain and hope and grief and the reckless desperation only young love can bring.

      Even for a short story this piece is brief, spanning a mere three thousand words. But those words pack a hell of a punch, enough to leave me breathless – and that’s a magic of its own.

      Read it yourself here at Strange Horizons.

      Hungry for more? Check out How To Be Both by Ali Smith, a Man Booker-nominated novel with similar themes running throughout, gorgeous prose and characters that’ll make you cry.


      • Love Is Never Still, by Rachel Swirsky

      Sometimes when you chase after something, you find in the end that what you’ve been looking for only exists in the figment of your imagination. Inside your head, the object takes on a life of its own until it diverges from real life. It’s always painful to realize what you wanted all along was never really there in the first place.

      Rachel Swirsky takes the classic story of Galatea and Pygmalion and casts all players under scrutiny. Not just the artist and his sculptor but behind them, the affairs of Aphrodite who gave life to a statue and her contentious relations with the remaining Greek pantheon. It’s a love story, but also more than that. This story explores how nature shapes who we are, the many faces of desire and how it can change into something darker, something unpleasant.

      I tend to wax over good prose but it’s such a hard quality to define, let alone master, that I have to give it mention here. The descriptions are vivid and strong, each scene painted clear without falling into the pitfall of purple prose. And these words aren’t window dressing – the author knows what she wants to say and how to say it. This story is a long one – more novelette than short story – but definitely well-worth the read.

      Read it yourself here at Uncanny Magazine.

      Hungry for more? Check out Glimpses by Lewis Shiner.

      This is a book I really love, and it’s all but unknown in these parts. Ray works as a radio repairman in 90s’ Texas, who finds one day an album by The Doors appearing in his workshop. Only thing is, the album’s never been recorded and released. Over time, Ray learns to walk down alternate timelines into the past – where he has the possibility to change things and make a difference.

      Lewis tackles difficult themes such as the obligations of someone trapped in a loveless marriage, alcoholism and the struggle not to project your needs onto others. What’s more, he does them justice.
      On surface level, these two are nothing alike but the parallels are there in the characters of Ray and Pygmalion, both of them are looking for something more without knowing what it is they really want.

      Want something closer to Love Is… in theme? Try Galatea, by Emily Blunt. A different take on the story, presented in the unusual form of interaction fiction. It’s well-written and considered to be one of the best in it’s genre. Available online here.


      • The Dancer On The Stairs, by Sarah Tolmie

      There's been a lot of clamour recently for stories that aren't entrenched in darkness and grit. We're all tired of seeing depressing things in social media, in the news. Sometimes all you want is to see a ray of light shining at the end.

      Enter The Dancer... where a young woman finds herself awakening on an empty flight of stairs, stretching forever in both directions. She's thrust into another world with no preparation, not even sharing a common language with the people there. Without crichtén - the coin of the stairway - she has no way past the guards stationed on each floor. And crichtén isn't something that can be bargained for. So she wanders on, lost and hungry and desperate to learn and navigate a culture entirely alien from her own.

      Why I love The Dancer... is that ultimately, it's a story about kindnesses. From the guard sympathizing with her plight to the old pilgrim sharing his knowledge of the world with someone hapless as a newborn, it tells you that while the world may be cold, it isn't cruel. There are people out there who are willing to reach out to those in want, and to extend a hand into the dark.

      Read it yourself here at Strange Horizons.

      Hungry for more? Check out The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. Much lauded by /r/fantasy, this book contains much the same warm tones and hope carried by The Dancer... If you haven't checked it out yet, I'm adding my voice to the chorus telling you to do so now!


      • Fox Magic, by Kij Johnson

      Throughout mythologies there are countless variations of the story of the changeling wife. Selkies, huldras and crane wives play on the theme of captive spirits lured into the world of men by force or trickery.

      In Fox Magic, Kij Johnson allows us a glimpse of the inverse through the eyes of a kitsune, or fox maiden. The unnamed narrator grows infatuated with the master of the property on which she and her family resides. The man is married with a wife and son. She is a fox, she does not care. And in this way the story delves into the quiet horror of seeing a person trapped in a waking dream, in what another thinks is love.

      The nature of magic is that it's often cruel, giving power to one and not another - easy enough to parallel in the real world. So we have to not just look but see, and realize when it's past time to let things go.

      Read it yourself here at Kij Johnson's website.

      Hungry for more? Check out The Forgotten Beasts Of Eld by Patricia McKillip. Though she writes with a lighter touch than Kij, Forgotten Beasts... is very much in line with the themes in this short story - how strongly magic tempts when it promises to give you your heart's desire, how affection needs to be a two-way street.


      • Second Person, Present Tense by Daryl Gregory

      Nobody can choose the circumstances of their own birth, and some people come into being in more unusual ways than others. Most of us create an identity for ourselves through the passing of time and gathered experience. For Terry, it's nowhere near that simple.

      The moment Terry comes into existence her parents are waiting to claim her, parents she doesn't remember. The doctor informs her that the drug Zen is responsible for stripping away her knowledge of who she was. Whoever inhabited her body before the overdose, she's gone now and left Terry there in her place. And already she's started to form memories of her own, disparate from the expectations of the people calling her their daughter and wanting her back again.

      Second Person... is centered around the themes of self-actualization despite the expectations of those around you. Whoever you were is unimportant, what matters is who you are in the now and in the end, it's up to you to make your identity.

      Read it yourself here at Clarkesword Magazine.

      Hungry for more? Check out The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker. Chava, the titular golem, comes to life during a voyage to a promised future in New York. But the one who's commissioned her dies in an unexpected manner, she's left unmoored to find her own way in a strange new city.

      7 votes
    20. Games: Your personal year in review for 2025

      I know Steam Replay isn’t out yet, but I figure it’s still a good enough time to get the ball rolling. This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your gaming for 2025. Games you talk...

      I know Steam Replay isn’t out yet, but I figure it’s still a good enough time to get the ball rolling.

      This is your place to share any and all thoughts on your gaming for 2025.

      Games you talk about do NOT have to be limited to this year’s releases.

      Feel free to share:

      • Favorites
      • Disappointments
      • Surprises
      • Memorable moments
      • Self-reflections
      • Anything else!

      Let us know how your gaming for 2025 went.

      39 votes
    21. Things are crumbling around me and a lot of it is my fault

      Mods - I didn't know where to put this or what to title and tag the post with. This is mostly just venting and confessing. There's a lot of back-story to this but I'll start at the trigger and...

      Mods - I didn't know where to put this or what to title and tag the post with.

      This is mostly just venting and confessing.

      There's a lot of back-story to this but I'll start at the trigger and work from there.

      The short version

      My boss is remote-only, so calls and WhatsApp messages are how we communicate. Wednesday he called me and started the conversation off by how tired he was today and why. To cut to the chase, he revealed to me, in detail, that he is a white supremacist, a holocaust denier, and potentially an actual Nazi. These aren't conclusions I am making based on piecing information together -- he outline each aspect at length while I silently listened.

      The long version

      He started the conversation telling me that he was tired because he was up all night with his wife "healing" his son's friend who was in the hospital suddenly for liver (or kidney, I don't remember) complications. He and his wife are "energy healers" and he gave me examples of how he and his wife, all by themselves, stopped natural disasters with their powers. The example he gave in this instance was the wild fires in 2020 in the PNW of the US. He said he that his wife "had enough" and went outside and raised her hands and said (I don't remember the words, I'm not going to make it up here) and the fires went out instantly. No one needs me to spell out the reality of these claims, so I won't. But if you want factual information about these wildfires, you can read more about them here.

      He then started telling me that his adult son (who has ASD or on the spectrum -- apologies, I don't know the right way to refer to this) has a hard time making friends but he and this guy were fast friends. His friend is from Ukraine and escaped the country right as Russia invaded (2022). This part is important because this is what launched the white supremacy garbage. After he said his son's friend escaped before the war, he went into a confusing ramble about how Russia was invading to kill "real white people" and that most of Putin's regime "are Jews" and that it's part of a global movement to "exterminate white people". This then went into how there are different kinds of white people and different kind of Jews. I don't know what "good/neutral" Jews are in his fucked up mind, but he said Zionists are the "bad" Jews. He says the Zionists have "mixed" with every government on earth and thus are in control of x-y-z.

      He said that I "looked like a real white person" and asked if I had German heritage (I don't). I tried to change the subject.

      That stream of thought led to literally saying Hitler was misunderstood, was misguided by his Jewish ancestry, and the Holocaust wasn't what we are being told. Photos are doctored, gas chambers were just showers, they had restaurants (?) in the camps, any deaths that occurred were from disease, not murders, and "how could 3 million Jews have been killed if there weren't 3 million Jews in existence?" Also that "Jews have a declaration to exterminate non-Jews"

      He then went into something about "mixing races" and how that's a terrible sin. "I'm not racist, I just think white people should only marry white people and black people with black people, and so on". The assumption here is less about marriage and more about procreation...

      I'm sure there's more shit I'm not remembering right now but those are the ones that I can't forget.

      Throughout the one-sided conversation, I tried to change the subject back to work (you know, since I am at work) numerous times and didn't respond to anything he was saying, but after the last part, I just hung up on him.

      There is no excuse for me letting him spew this hateful bullshit and I am ashamed of myself. I normally have no problem with conflict and ostracizing myself by calling out hateful bullshit people say but I chose to be silent this time because $$$.

      I've been going back and forth between being angry, ashamed, disappointed, and just sad since then. I knew my boss was a conspiracy nut because he's told me some of his wild beliefs before but none of them seemed hateful and I told him I wasn't into that sort of stuff. I don't know why he suddenly decided to unload all of this on me.

      I know there is a reality where I don't let this ruin my job, but I don't think I am able to do this.

      I need this job because I need the money. I moved across the country to work this job and now that I know who I am making money for, I have to quit. I have to find another job immediately. I can't afford to quit without having another job lined up. I had been looking for a better job for 2 full years before I moved here for this one and had no luck. I've done nothing but work since moving here for this job. I haven't made the time to try and make friends and instead just worked more and more.

      I feel like there were signs (details not mentioned here) I ignored out of desperation. I feel defeated.

      The only thing I know I must do is find a therapist and find a new job.

      40 votes
    22. Lorde - Virgin (2025)

      Virgin This album is a banger. Very different in character than her earlier work, much more mature and introspective. I enjoyed her earlier music in the "oh, if it's on the streaming mix I will...

      Virgin

      This album is a banger. Very different in character than her earlier work, much more mature and introspective. I enjoyed her earlier music in the "oh, if it's on the streaming mix I will listen to it" but this album is something else.

      I connect to most songs first through the lyrics, then through the music, so here's a lyrical sample.

      From Hammer, opening song:

      There's a heat in the pavement,
      my mercury's raising
      Don't know if it's love
      or if it's ovulation
      When you're holding a hammer,
      everything looks like a nail

      Bonus, two songs from her previous album. Solar Power that I love, though I feel Virgin is stronger as an album.

      Stoned at the Nail Salon

      Well, my hot blood's been burnin' for so many summers now
      It's time to cool it down, wherever that leads
      'Cause all the music you loved at sixteen, you'll grow out of
      And all the times they will change, it'll all come around
      I don't know
      Maybe I'm just
      Maybe I'm just stoned at the nail salon again

      Secrets from a Girl (who's seen it all)

      Welcome to sadness
      The temperature is unbearable until you face it
      Thank you for flying with Strange Airlines
      I will be your tour guide today
      Your emotional baggage can be picked up at carousel number 2
      Please be careful so that it doesn't fall onto someone you love
      When we've reached your final destination
      I will leave you to it
      You'll be fine
      I'm just gonna show you in
      And you can stay as long as you need
      To get familiar with the feeling
      And then when you're ready, I'll be outside
      And we can go look at the sunrise
      By euphoria mixed with existential vertigo?
      Cool

      12 votes
    23. Power Composer - Music-making software, MIDI editor, soundfont synth - free early access on Windows

      https://www.powercomposer.net/ I am not affiliated with this project, I just think it's awesome and deserves more publicity. Power Composer is a piano-reel-style MIDI editor built in the Godot...

      https://www.powercomposer.net/

      I am not affiliated with this project, I just think it's awesome and deserves more publicity.

      Power Composer is a piano-reel-style MIDI editor built in the Godot game engine (though it is a tool, not a game). It's intended to be lighter and more accessible than a DAW, but still quite powerful. The dev has been quietly working on it for a while now and just recently made a free early-access Windows build available!

      I've been keeping an eye on it ever since it was featured in the Godot 2024 showreel, as I've wanted something like it for a while. Several years ago, I was playing around with Chrome Music Lab's "Song Maker" so I could use it in my classroom. I ended up having such a great time that I got incredibly sidetracked and spent a while just writing stuff. I know the grid-based sequencer isn't a novel concept, but something about that particular configuration just clicked with me.

      Ever since then, I've been searching for something similar but more capable that still clicks in the same way. I tried Bosca Ceoil, LMMS, and a couple DAWs' MIDI editors, but nothing quite did it. Then I saw Power Composer. Now that I can actually try it, it's just as comfortable as I hoped! I'm a classically-trained music teacher and have been writing/arranging with software like Dorico for years, but something about sequencers (and Power Composer in particular) just feels more freeing to me than traditional notation.

      It is not open-source nor is it planned to be, which is a bummer because I'd love to contribute, but I get it - being paid for your work is nice. No word on the release price or timeline yet.

      The dev seems like a good guy. In addition to the website above, Power Composer has a Youtube channel and a Discord server, and he is actively taking feature requests and bug reports on the latter.

      I've been exploring it a bit and I'd be happy to answer any questions people have about it! Really enjoying it so far.

      11 votes
    24. Is there a lookup tool for credit card leaks?

      A few months ago, my credit card number was used in a few unauthorized transactions. The charges were reversed, and I got a new card, so overall, no big deal. But I am curious as to how the thief...

      A few months ago, my credit card number was used in a few unauthorized transactions. The charges were reversed, and I got a new card, so overall, no big deal. But I am curious as to how the thief actually got their hands on my information.

      Are there any lookup tools for leaked credit cards, similar to Have I Been Pwned, that might tell me how my credit card number was exposed? Since my card has already been cancelled, I don't even mind typing the number into a somewhat sketchy site.

      14 votes
    25. What are your favorite simple pleasures?

      For me: Cutting through an ice block with a stream of running water Going outside and it's the perfect temperature, or it's just a bit warmer but a breeze brings you back down to where you want to...

      For me:

      • Cutting through an ice block with a stream of running water

      • Going outside and it's the perfect temperature, or it's just a bit warmer but a breeze brings you back down to where you want to be.

      • The satisfaction of completing a project.

      68 votes
    26. What is your 'Subway Take'?

      For those who are unfamiliar, Subway Takes is a popular short form internet talk show "in which the interviewees present and defend a unique or controversial opinion, called a 'take'" Takes are...

      For those who are unfamiliar, Subway Takes is a popular short form internet talk show "in which the interviewees present and defend a unique or controversial opinion, called a 'take'" Takes are usually halfbaked and/or tongue-in-cheek. Some popular examples include:

      There are too many states in America

      Everybody in New York has rich parents or is selling drugs

      Spirit Airlines does not deserve the hate

      Italians became white after 9/11

      So what's your take?

      61 votes
    27. How investors 10x each dollar, before they even invest

      For the past several years I’ve been knee deep involved in Ukraine and as several people on Tildes know, a lot of my earliest days were spent donating, tens of thousands. All in all I’ve donated...

      For the past several years I’ve been knee deep involved in Ukraine and as several people on Tildes know, a lot of my earliest days were spent donating, tens of thousands. All in all I’ve donated enough to nearly bankrupt myself when my situation changed.

      As I got more involved (and now I’m an active investor in the sector), I want to share something I’ve learned since that I wish someone had told me when I started:

      Every dollar you have that you want to put to work can, on average, be 10x’d by the time you put it in.

      That means if you want to donate 10k, you may well be able to end up putting 100k to work towards your goal.

      You may have seen this take the form of donation matching — some fame seekers sometimes do it (I’ll donate 10 dollars for every dollar you donate), but this isn’t necessarily what I mean.

      Speaking on an investment side: on average, 10% “skin in the game” makes it very easy to get the remaining 90% as long as there is a net positive outcome possible. So by positioning your donation as your skin in the game to a larger fundraise, you set yourself up for multiplying your impact by ten.

      What’s more: let’s say you don’t want to donate 10k in bulk but you have a good job that allows you to set aside 1k usd per month. You want to donate half of that (500 usd). This means per year you can donate 6k usd.
      Are you able to take a two year engagement? Congratulations, that means you are donating 12k and can now raise for 120k with 10% skin in the game (as long as the money isn’t needed faster than at the rate it can be committed).

      I had this discussion with an acquaintance who has been in finance for a long time and got a very good job. She was trying to figure out how to “invest” 40k per year, that would otherwise be lost to taxes. On a 7 year engagement she has now setup a 10M climate fund (around 2% SITG which is standard for funds).

      I was floored she didn’t know this. I figured the reason I didn’t was because I didn’t study economics, but it seems so fundamental that I want more people to be aware that this is a thing.

      17 votes
    28. For those who didn't know, find what you want to watch and for how much on services! (justwatch.com)

      So, yeah, apparently a lot of folks don't know about this website. Didn't want to put it on the link because I wanted to briefly explain: I use duckduckgo and put a !justwatch after any movie or...

      So, yeah, apparently a lot of folks don't know about this website. Didn't want to put it on the link because I wanted to briefly explain: I use duckduckgo and put a !justwatch after any movie or show I want to know on which service it is available.
      But basically, go there, search for what you want to watch, and it'll tell you where it's available (if it is), and for how much!

      39 votes
    29. How has AI positively impacted your life?

      I've been trying to get a more rounded understanding of the impacts that "AI" has had since ChatGPT went viral back in 2022. I've found it easy to gather a list of negative impacts, but have...

      I've been trying to get a more rounded understanding of the impacts that "AI" has had since ChatGPT went viral back in 2022.

      I've found it easy to gather a list of negative impacts, but have struggled to point to many positives.

      I was curious if there were folks who have used any of these AI tools, and would willing to share any positive impacts those tools have had in their lives. I'm particularly interested in the text, audio, image, and video generation tools that have appeared since ChatGPT went viral, but please share anything else that you think fits.

      50 votes
    30. Post breakup ramblings

      It is past 5 AM as I write this and I am unable to sleep. She initially brought it up last weekend, right after a date night with fancy dinner and concert. I reacted very, very badly. I got no...

      It is past 5 AM as I write this and I am unable to sleep.

      She initially brought it up last weekend, right after a date night with fancy dinner and concert. I reacted very, very badly. I got no sleep that night and the next morning we continued the discussion which ended with, let’s try to make this work and check in on our feelings in a week.

      We couldn’t really talk throughout the week because her long time friends were getting married this weekend and she was one of the groomsmen. One of the issues she had with our relationship was my codependency on her - not the first time this quality has been observed by her. Part of what I had hoped sparked another chance was talking about all the things I have actively been doing to break free of that. And that aside, it seemed correct to allow her to participate in the wedding plans without worrying about personal life drama.

      Check in finally comes Sunday night and I hear what I had feared to hear. I am much better with my reaction this time. I still don’t understand the final (to her) reason why she thinks this won’t work out. For context this is her first romantic relationship. This is not my first but my previous ones were… I’ll just say that I just said yes to suitors even though I didn’t have strong feelings for them. For both of us we were unsure of a lot of things - sexuality, romance, all that, and it was something we’d both find out together. When she came to the conclusion that she is somewhere on the aroace side of the spectrum, I was okay with that. (I think a year ago I posted on Tildes talking about my experience as someone on the ace spectrum.) Her final conclusion is that she feels I could do better with a partner that accepts me for who I already am and can also show it better. I can’t convince her that wanting me to be more confident in myself isn’t changing me, that I don’t need all these things people expect in most relationships. I’m still a little upset that she mentioned the friends’ wedding vows and how she felt she could never give that to me. I don’t see why she thinks my happiness will be greater, because I am telling her that I would be content to just do things with her that current society typically only associates with couples - buying a house, chores, cooking for two. (I know roommates exist and they participate in such things sans maybe purchasing property. but I guess I want the long term feeling of safety over uncertainty.)

      Pause: I believe that she doesn’t need a reason at all to end things. I can be upset and bargain but at the end of the day if she feels we will both be happier this way, that’s that. The door is open regardless.

      Recognizing that, I still just feel… empty. I moved across the state to move into a new apartment with her. My only friends/aquaintances here are through her. My friend groups are all online, though I did reconnect with some high school friends after over a decade of not keeping touch. But I’m not close enough to most of those online friends to even talk about this to, hence typing it out into the internet void.

      I also resent this claim that someone else can make me happier. I’m not saying there aren’t other fish in the sea, but I had never been in the market for fish. This was someone I met online 5+ years ago who I vibed really well with, who I asked out because I didn’t want this to end. It typically ends when they find a romantic partner or another person to talk to who currently shares the same fixation as them at a point in time. I’m not going to go out of my way to find someone who can fit that very particular mold. I already have plenty anxiety as it is because my mold feels alienated enough from society’s expectations of what a long term committed relationship should look like.

      I don’t know why I can’t just sleep. I’m fortunate that living situation is not an issue. This is such a first world problem. It is almost 7 AM now and I’ll be getting up to feed the cats and tell her on her way out to pilates that I’d like for us to continue discussing when she’s back, which I hope she is open to.

      34 votes
    31. Cataloging your home library

      I have a decent sized library of probably around 2-300 books, and it has been on my list of projects to-do to make a catalog/database for my library to quickly reference what I have. Do any of you...

      I have a decent sized library of probably around 2-300 books, and it has been on my list of projects to-do to make a catalog/database for my library to quickly reference what I have. Do any of you catalog your libraries and if so what do you use for it?

      I know Libid and LibraryThing are two of the big website/app ones, and it could be done with a Google Sheet or similar, but I was wondering if anyone here has any experience before I really get started.

      21 votes
    32. Idle complaints of indebtedness and isolation

      Comment box Scope: information, explanation of psychological state Tone: neutral, bummed, defeated Opinion: yes Sarcasm/humor: none Hello. I usually talk about trains, except today, I just want to...
      Comment box
      • Scope: information, explanation of psychological state
      • Tone: neutral, bummed, defeated
      • Opinion: yes
      • Sarcasm/humor: none

      Hello. I usually talk about trains, except today, I just want to vent on my finances and my wishes for a less expensive world.

      I have found myself in financial straits,as I had amassed debt last year, lost work for months and amassed more debt. It’s in the low tens of thousands. of course I also lost my healthcare because I live in a rich country run by morally destitute anti-intellectuals.

      On paper, I will pay off the debt in 18-24 months, if god allows. I have work now.

      This city’s transit system has been hobbled in bad faith and will be destroyed come January….Fares have already risen, service cut. My train to work will be cut because the state refuses to provide services for its most productive citizens. It is twice as long by bus, suicide by bicycle on roads built for tanks, so I will have to sacrifice time or life.

      It seems the price of electricity has increased. I would generate my own, but it is impractical.

      Sadly my possessions are breaking too. This is the way of things, it’s just miserable timing, and each discovery of a failing mechanism or dilapidated object piles onto the defeat. The window frame has rotted and the glass fallen -- the house is frozen. Not a single plant survives. (The landlord will fix it, but not hurriedly…..) Bulbs burnt out, rooms dark. My bicycle needs new brakes, a new chain, my helmet has been destroyed and should be replaced, but for now I have been riding without. The computer has broken after 14 years, admittedly about time…. An expensive thing to replace, so now I only have my phone, whose battery has degraded quite a lot and will not be usable for too much longer, and a small laptop on death’s door too. I had worn my single pair of walking shoes for 5 years until, yesterday, the sole fell off. (Thankfully, I have one more, but it is formal and uncomfortable) A new pair is more costly than I remember… I know a cheap one will disintegrate in a season and do nothing for the snow, and a quality one is beyond financial prudence. My jacket is worn and torn by years and embers, beyond my ability to sew, and I must darn and darn and darn all the socks and gloves with holes, which I hate to do, and i am not good at. The denim jeans are ripped, in a place difficult to patch, and the pockets torn. I cannot bear the cold the same anymore, so I also need an overcoat, which I cannot afford. The fitted sheets are inexplicably torn by some punitive act of god, probably irreparably. The pillows are compressed, worthless, and causing me pain. Even the tent, which I might use to regain some sanity in the woods, has had its elastic poles dried solid and is basically unusable. At least I have a few books.

      My lifestyle is structurally cheap. Affordable city, relatively low rent, multiple housemates, no car, only occasional commute, no dog, no wife, no children. Not too much to pay for. I eat simply. I am content with it.

      Yet somehow I find myself with hundreds of dollars of credit card purchases this month, more than an entire paycheck, and last was also more. Qualifying for a healthcare plan has reduced my medical costs, but the difference is withheld, and I’m realizing that often it costs more than it would cost out of pocket, so at best it makes no difference. The dental and vision are exorbitant, so I just hope I don’t get a cavity.

      I suspect I need glasses, or will soon. I can tell my eyesight is beginning to worsen. But it’ll have to wait a couple years.

      The fear of a worse medical emergency persists. The deductible is rather high for a plan that offers no HSA and the co-pay is unremarkable, the coverage limited. Perhaps the least useful healthcare plan I’ve ever had.

      I do not gamble. I like to drink beer but have abstained recently. My hobbies are inspecting train and street infrastructure, studying the Holy Bible, moralizing on the internet and persuading the government to institute a better society. I lapse sometimes and make impulsive purchases, but not frequently. I have not even gone to see a game in two years.

      It’s a great pain to review your statements and recognize that almost none of the purchases were wasteful, only a few technically unnecessary. There were just too many overall.

      What upsets me most is the social distance I have gained from my condition of functional poverty. the agony of refusing visits, trips, games, concerts, shows, dinners, coffees, drinks grinds on me daily. Yes it is still nice to say hello, it is just not the same. The pity, or disgust, the symbolic offers of charity received. Mostly the confusion—the awkwardness, the unsolicited advice (which I don’t normally mind, but it gets old). I prefer to socialize with bourgeois progressives, academics and professionals who care about engineering and mathematics and government policy and theory. It’s what I care about. I do not really resent them, but everything they do costs more money than I possess, so it is difficult to see friends and I cannot hope to keep up with colleagues after work.

      I don’t object to work but I resent the fact that I must pay for my own healthcare. I also resent that my government neglects my transportation and my safety. I resent the pollution of the air, the NIMBYism driving up rents and leaving the addicted even more hopeless. I acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made that have led me here. I can’t undo the past, but Congress could socialize all medicine in the next budget if it wanted to…. repeatedly chooses not to.

      That’s all. I just wanted to complain. You can give me advice if you want. I’m relatively financially literate, just poor and human.

      51 votes
    33. People with a very good memory: does that make it harder to forgive?

      With a few exceptions, I have a remarkably bad memory (probably in part due to ADHD). When I have a fight or heated argument I usually remember the tone and gravity of the situation but the actual...

      With a few exceptions, I have a remarkably bad memory (probably in part due to ADHD). When I have a fight or heated argument I usually remember the tone and gravity of the situation but the actual words that were said are completely forgotten in a short period. With time the entire content of the discussion fades away.

      I have the impression this makes it easier for me to forgive people and forget bad events. The negative impressions don't have a lot memory to hold onto. Is the inverse also true? Does a good memory make it harder to forgive?

      34 votes
    34. What ridiculous thing would you spend billions on?

      A wizard has cursed you with billions of dollars! Why is that a curse? Because unless you spend it immediately* on something ridiculous** you'll become like the worst, asshole-iest billionaire you...

      A wizard has cursed you with billions of dollars! Why is that a curse? Because unless you spend it immediately* on something ridiculous** you'll become like the worst, asshole-iest billionaire you can think of. (Fill in your own blank).

      Saving the world is out, philanthropy is out (unless it's utterly ridiculous), clever tricks to make the world better by finding a loophole and trying to outwit the wizard's curse are out.

      If you try something that could be started with an "um actually" 🤓☝️you end up naming all your children and companies with the same letter before the end of the day, got it? Spirit of the rules!
      I'm watching you. ತ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ತ

      *A project might take time but you're going all in on it, cash up front
      ** The point is that it's pointless. It might be accidentally useful but it's pointless.

      ETA: I have been unjustly rate limited and will be replying when I can. Please take this opportunity to reconsider your charitable works and other attempts at public good and get back to airships and Animorphs movies. Ty

      73 votes
    35. Supermarket rewards card- yes or no?

      I have held out for years from getting a loyalty/membership card from supermarkets as I hate the tracking that they do. But here in the UK so many prices are now locked behind it in most...

      I have held out for years from getting a loyalty/membership card from supermarkets as I hate the tracking that they do. But here in the UK so many prices are now locked behind it in most supermarkets, it feels like I’m just giving them so much extra money it’s getting ridiculous. I end up spending more money to shop where they don’t do this, but most of the major players are now adding these member only prices it’s hard to keep the status quo.
      For other privacy minded people, how do you manage this?

      37 votes
    36. A recommendation: Code 3 (2025)

      In a landscape of so many quality things to watch, I wanted to take a minute to recommend Code 3, which came out earlier this year. It stars Rainn Wilson, Lil Rel Howery, and Aimee Carrero, among...

      In a landscape of so many quality things to watch, I wanted to take a minute to recommend Code 3, which came out earlier this year. It stars Rainn Wilson, Lil Rel Howery, and Aimee Carrero, among a few other known actors and actresses. It follows Wilson's character, a paramedic working for Los Angeles 911, through a period of a couple of days. The comedy is pretty funny, although I should mention it does have a couple of dark moments as well, in case anyone would rather shy away from that. But I recommend it specifically because, having lived that life, it's the most accurate depiction of life on a 911 truck I've seen from Hollywood. The ups, the downs, the laughs, the tears. I watch a fair amount of things that I feel like weren't worth my time in hindsight, but this is the first movie in a while where I enjoyed the entirety of it. Hopefully some of y'all do as well :)

      Trailer (YouTube)

      IMDB

      TheMovieDB

      Rotten Tomatoes

      12 votes
    37. What are creepy, spooky or scary places you've been?

      It's spooky month again! I've asked in the past for people to share scary, creepy and unexplained stories in October. But I figure the community doesn't grow enough to guarantee new people with...

      It's spooky month again! I've asked in the past for people to share scary, creepy and unexplained stories in October. But I figure the community doesn't grow enough to guarantee new people with new stories every year. So this year I'll mix it up:

      What are some of the creepiest, spookiest and scariest places you've been?

      Can be genuinely scary with a personal story attached. Can just be a spooky haunted house exhibit. Can be a place you just found really creepy for no specific reason. It could be as big as a historic mansion with a macabre background, as simple as abandoned buildings, could be that weird attic room with a lock on the outside of the door...

      So share away!

      33 votes
    38. Daily book: Seveneves by Neal Stephenson (hard science fiction)

      At some unspecified date in the near future, an unknown agent causes the Moon to shatter into seven pieces. As the remnants of the Moon begin to collide with one another, astronomer and science...

      At some unspecified date in the near future, an unknown agent causes the Moon to shatter into seven pieces. As the remnants of the Moon begin to collide with one another, astronomer and science popularizer "Doc" Dubois Harris calculates that the number of collisions will increase exponentially. A large number of moon fragments will begin entering Earth's atmosphere, forming a "white sky" and blanketing the earth within two years with what he calls a "Hard Rain" of bolides; this will cause the atmosphere to heat to incandescence and oceans to boil away, destroying the biosphere and rendering Earth uninhabitable for thousands of years. It is decided to evacuate as many people and resources as possible to a "Cloud Ark" in orbit, including a "swarm" of "arklet" habitats that will be able to avoid the debris from the moon—both to attempt to preserve the human race and to give the remaining doomed inhabitants of Earth something to hope for, to prevent civil disorder from breaking out on Earth before its surface is destroyed. Each nation on Earth is invited to choose by lot a small number of young people to become eligible to join the Cloud Ark.

      The Cloud Ark is to be based around the International Space Station (ISS), currently commanded by American astronaut Ivy Xiao. The ISS is already bolted onto an iron Arjuna asteroid called Amalthea, which provides some protection against moon debris. Robots are used to excavate Amalthea to provide more protection in a project run by mining and robotics engineer Dinah MacQuarie. Technicians and specialists, including Doc Dubois, are sent to the ISS in advance of the Hard Rain to prepare it to become the headquarters of the Cloud Ark.

      The plan is that the Cloud Ark must be self-sufficient for 5,000 years and capable of repopulating Earth once it is habitable again. A Human Genetic Archive is sent to the Cloud Ark, with the intention that it will be used to rebuild the human population. Approximately 1,500 people are launched into space in the two years before the Hard Rain begins.

      Suspecting that some architects of the Cloud Ark are interested only in pacifying Earth's inhabitants with false hope (rather than creating an environment that will actually survive in the long term), a billionaire named Sean Probst realizes that the Cloud Ark will need a ready supply of water in order to provide propellant for the space station and to prevent it from eventually falling into the earth's atmosphere. He embarks on a two-year expedition to extract ice from a comet nicknamed Greg's Skeleton, using a nuclear reactor to provide power to bring it back towards Earth.

      The Hard Rain begins approximately two years after the destruction of the moon as predicted; human civilization as well as nearly all life on Earth is obliterated, although some try to take shelter underground (such as Dinah's father) or in the deep ocean (such as Ivy's fiancé). Markus Leuker, appointed leader of the Cloud Ark, declares all nations of Earth to be dissolved, and imposes martial law under the Cloud Ark Constitution. Despite a worldwide agreement that members of government will not be launched into space, the President of the United States, Julia Bliss Flaherty, manages to get herself sent to the Cloud Ark at the last minute. Shortly afterwards the main cache of the physical Human Genetic Archive attached to the ISS is ruined by the thrusters of an arklet passing too closely, leaving only samples that had been distributed amongst the arks.

      There is disagreement on the Cloud Ark about the best way to organize its society and avoid the debris of the moon. Some "Arkies" favor converting the Cloud Ark into a decentralized swarm of small space vessels at a higher orbit out of range of debris, rather than maintaining the central authority of the ISS. Doc Dubois wants to shelter in the "Cleft", a crevasse on the now-exposed iron core of the moon. Others want to go to Mars. Julia Flaherty starts to acquire a coterie of followers and encourages the proponents of the decentralized swarm plan.

      Sean Probst's expedition has succeeded, and he has brought a comet into an orbit that will soon pass by Earth. His radio has failed and he has built a replacement by hand, and is able to communicate with Dinah MacQuarie by Morse code. However, he and his party die of radiation sickness caused by fallout from their nuclear reactor long before the expedition is complete. Markus Leuker and Dinah travel to the comet with a small crew to take control of it and bring it back to the Cloud Ark, in order to provide sufficient propellant to reach the Cleft on the moon's core. Just before Dinah returns with the ice as the sole survivor of the mission, Julia Flaherty persuades the majority of the population to abandon the ISS and move to higher orbit in a decentralized swarm, and sends a preliminary expedition to Mars. In the course of their sudden, unauthorized departure the ISS sustains catastrophic damage to many sections. The surviving portions of the Human Genetic Archive are carried along with them, but due to the Arkies' ignorance, these surviving portions are discarded or ignored. Only the digital version of the Human Genetic Archive survives aboard the ISS. The ISS and remaining third of the cloud ark combine through reshaping the ice into a support structure, and is rechristened Endurance.

      During the three years that it takes for Endurance to reach the Cleft, the majority of its population die of various causes (cancer caused by cosmic radiation, suicide, bolide strikes, etc.); by the time they are within range of the Cleft, only about 30 survivors remain. Julia Bliss Flaherty's Swarm splits into two factions, who fight; Flaherty's faction is defeated. Running out of food, the Swarm resorts to cannibalism, and by the end of three years only 11 survive, including Flaherty and the leader of the opposing faction, Aïda. Aïda requests to reunite the remnant of the Swarm with the Cloud Ark before it reaches the Cleft, but secretly plans a battle for control of Endurance; as a result of that battle the population is diminished even further.

      By the time Endurance reaches the relative safety of the Cleft, there are only eight surviving Homo sapiens in space, all of whom are women. One, the sociologist Luisa, has reached menopause, and the remaining seven (Dinah, Ivy, Aïda, Tekla, Camila, Moira, and Julia) come to be known as the Seven Eves. The Human Genetic Archive has been destroyed, but they have sufficient resources to use the surviving genetics laboratory to rebuild the human race by parthenogenesis. They agree that each of the Seven Eves gets to choose how her offspring will be genetically modified or enhanced. Aïda predicts that, hundreds of years from now, this project shall result in seven new races.

      The narrative jumps to 5,000 years later. There are now three billion humans living in a ring around the Earth, and they have indeed formed into seven races, each one descended from and named after the Seven Eves who survived the events of Part 2. These races have quite distinct characteristics, including "Moirans" who can undergo "epigenetic shifts", radically changing their bodies in response to new environments. The iron core of the moon has mostly been used to build space habitats, but the Cleft itself has been turned into "Cradle", an exclusive piece of real estate attached to a tether that occasionally "docks" with Earth.

      Humanity has divided mostly along racial lines into two states, Red and Blue, which are engaged in a form of Cold War characterized by cultural isolation, espionage and border skirmishes, mediated by treaty agreements more honored in the breach than the observance.

      The orbiting races, the Spacers, terraform Earth by crashing ice comets into it to replenish the oceans, and seed the planet with genetically created organisms based upon re-sequenced DNA data saved from the escape to orbit. Once a breathable atmosphere is recreated, and sufficient plant and animal species have been reseeded, some members of the orbiting races ("Sooners") resettle the planet, in violation of treaty agreements.

      A "Seven", a group of seven people with one member from each race, is recruited by "Doc" Hu Noah, to investigate mysterious people who have been sighted on Earth. As the story unfolds, they discover that some humans did indeed survive the Hard Rain on the planet by living in deep mines ("Diggers"), while others survived in ocean trenches using submarines ("Pingers"). Although these survivors have also evolved socially and biologically to form two additional races, the survival of root stock humanity separate from the Seven Eves causes turmoil in Spacer high politics. Ground conflict eventually occurs because each of the orbiting camps (Red and Blue) wishes to establish a preferential or exclusive relationship with the Earthbound races: the Diggers, although descendants of Dinah's family, interpret the Blue state's presence on their territory as an act of aggression and develop an alliance with Red, prompting Blue to seek out an alliance with the Pingers on the strength of Ivy's connection with one of their founders. Matters are further complicated because the Diggers claim all of the Earth's land surface as their own, and initially hold the Spacers in disdain (despite their high technology) for having fled the planet eons ago.

      In an epilogue it is revealed that a separate, secret underwater ark had been created concurrently with the cloud ark, leading to the development of the Pingers, based on analysis of the "selfies" Ivy's fiance had sent her, using diagrams and sketches in the background as clues. Ty invites the surviving Seven (along with Sonar and Deep, representatives of the Diggers and the Pingers, respectively) back to apartments at his bar in the Cleft with the intent of forming the first "Nine".

      7 votes
    39. This site is fast

      I have decent internet at home. I have great internet at work. Despite the speeds of those though, seemingly every website out there feels laggy and heavy. You click, you wait, you get a skeleton...

      I have decent internet at home.

      I have great internet at work.

      Despite the speeds of those though, seemingly every website out there feels laggy and heavy. You click, you wait, you get a skeleton of the page, with different elements that rapidly pop in until you're staring at the full site. You see the little loading animation on the tab for one, two, three seconds. It isn't exactly "slow" by any means, but it's far from instantaneous either.

      Clicking around the web these days feels like I'm playing a game with unignorable input lag.

      And I get it. The modern web is complex. It's genuinely a miracle that this is possible in the first place, so I really shouldn't be complaining that the bits traveling through the internet from dozens of servers thousands of miles away aren't getting here immediately.

      I get that high resolution screens require large images, and the ubiquity of video these days adds even more weight. I get that many websites are closer to applications than they are static pages.

      I'm not trying to take away from the awesome magic that is our modern miracle of connectivity in the slightest, and I'm appreciative to all the people here who spend their livelihoods working on it. Y'all are awesome.

      I'm just trying to say that, well, sometimes moving around on the web can drag. And when you've been using it for a long time, the dragging can get under your skin a little bit.

      However, my real point lies not in the rest of the internet, but here. I'm talking about this "heavy web" baseline as a contrast for one of the things I love about Tildes:

      it. is. so. snappy.

      I click, and BAM, the page is there. Immediately.

      It's sharp. It's crisp. It's no-nonsense. No waiting for elements to pop in. No subconsciously watching for the loading animation to stop so that I know I can start to interact with site.

      For general design reasons, I've always loved that Tildes is text-only, but more and more I appreciate that aspect simply because Tildes feels good to use because it is so quick and responsive. I don't know how much of that is due to the text-only part of things and how much of it is Deimos being a genius code wizard who made an amazing platform, but I'm happy about it regardless.

      This site has got zero input lag.

      And that feels great.

      97 votes