I've spent the past months with an unhealthy obsession with "the news", due to both an election in my own country and the one in the US. Maybe it was an attempt at being in control of a situation I have absolutely zero control over, despite it shaping aspects of the world I really care about. But that control is an illusion.

I've rediscovered an older article by Rolf Dobelli called "Avoid News – Towards a Healthy News Diet". It argues against the value of high-frequency (daily) news consumption in 15 points. It does not vilify journalism as a whole, however, arguing for replacing a daily feed of online news with individual, high-quality, in-depth articles consumed weekly or so.

I know that I probably can't resist having some idea of what is going on in the world (and I have some niche interests that I genuinely find productive to keep up with). So I'll try something simple: No "news" (quotes because I include random social media feeds in this) during weekdays. No news websites, no tildes, no reddit. There's ways to filter for the top posts of the "last 7 days". I never use this feature since I look almost daily, anyways. Well, I'll try and make that my default way of consuming social media. On weekends I can decided to use some of my precious free time to read up on the "big" events of the week. I hope this will make me realize that most weeks go by without producing any information that I can use to improve my own life (both privately and at work) or that of people I care about.

There is stuff I'm looking forward to: This sounds depressing but I have this huge list of non-critical things I wanted to accomplish that I kinda stopped even considering because every damn minute of free time I had was spent doom-scrolling. I hope the "touch grass" people are right and spending more time focused on my own environment will also help me get a better sense of what is important.

I also feel slightly guilty about the thought that this will make me less compassionate towards people who live outside my own bubble and whose stories I would not hear just talking to friends and family. This is an attempt to put my head in the sand and pretend that large parts of the world do not exist. But the truth is: There is only so much I can do, effectively. I can maybe join a group dedicated to fixing a specific wrong or raise awareness. Maybe two. But I could never address that whole laundry list of problems from my news feed that left me paralyzed with fear. I will have a more positive impact on the world if I focus on less.

Let's see where this goes.

I posted my own thoughts here, TLDR: I am afraid and catastrophizing and thinking very black and white and spiraling quite a bit and I'm not even American.

This is not meant to be another ~news thread.

Please keep discussion in this thread to mental health only.

How are you doing?

What will the impact of this be on your life?

Hi folks--

To those more knowledgeable than I am:

What would be the best local solution to extract numerical data from a batch of PDF file reports? The values I want are interspersed among word processor formatted tables and irrelevant text. The text and table formatting are (nearly) identical across reports. The data I want vary across reports. The PDFs are not of images...I can select and copy text without OCR. I have thousands to process, and the data themselves are confidential (I have clearance) and cannot be shared. I can use Windows or Linux but no MacOS.

I am technically inclined, so I bashed my head against regular expressions just enough to use notepad++ to find and delete most of the irrelevant stuff and make a CSV, but it's a hacky, imprecise method and not nearly automated enough for batches. For reference, I don't code for a living or even as a hobby, but I use R and bash, am familiar with IDEs, and can follow pseudocode well enough to edit and use scripts.

Any thoughts? Thanks in advance!

I created an Omnivore account recently and I started to love it. I thought to self-host it but I didn't have enough time and thought I'd host it later.

I (along with everyone else presumably) got this email today:

We’re excited to share that Omnivore is joining forces with ElevenLabs, the leading AI audio research and technology company. Our team is joining ElevenLabs to help drive the future of accessible reading and listening with their new ElevenReader app.

Next, all Omnivore users will be able to export their information from the service through November 15 2024, after which all information will be deleted.

Though it is quite frustrating, I will not go further in my opinion of this move.

I would just like to let the community know that I'm in the market for an alternative for this... or maybe some help how to self-host it. I don't even know if it will be easy to self-host or if it will be worth it, presumably without updates...

I love the labels feature of Tildes and use it fairly regularly where I feel appropriate. But recently I wanted to label a post (rather than a comment) and realized that there is no option for that.

Is this something that has been discussed before? I did a cursory search but was not able to find anything specific to labels on posts. I'm not even saying that I'd be 100% for the feature, just wondering if it's been discussed before. Questions like 'would it provide a benefit?' or 'if so, should those labels be the same as the ones for comments?' were along the lines of what I was thinking.

Might be a terrible idea, or difficult to implement for some reason or another, but sometimes I feel like a post could use a label (like 'exemplary' for a well-thought-out post, or 'malice' for one where the article posted feels deceptive and/or misleading) and right now there does not appear to be a way of doing that. Wondering what others think.

Yeah, I bought an ebike from Costco. It was a pretty good deal and it exceeded my expectation in just about every way, at least so far. The only thing that's bugging me right now is that the seat is supposedly super comfortable but my butt is sore after relatively short rides, but I've read that that will go away after a while.

I haven't owned a bike for decades and I was wondering if there was any less obvious things I should look out for. I already figured out that I put on the front wheel off-center because the disc was rubbing against the brake pad, but that was an easy fix. The manual for my bike is painfully lacking in details; half of covers how to use the controller, and the other half is assembly, and even that part wasn't terribly detailed. There were two parts that came in the box that it didn't even mention (a reflector for the handlebars and the derailleur protector - the latter of which I only figured out what it was after I did a reverse image search for it). It appears that it was written for people who already know a lot about bikes. The fork has shocks on it that appear to be adjustable but I don't know how or even why you would want to adjust them. Is there a website or a book that I can find with more detailed info on bikes generally?

Finally, accessories. I already bought two simple things just on impulse: a simple cheap cable lock and a bell (which seems like a strange omission for a bike, but what do I know?). I figure that I should have probably invested in a better lock, though, since it's a fairly expensive machine, so I thought I'd ask what people would recommend. Also are there any other accessories I might consider? I want to get a bottle holder, but I'm looking for a design to 3D print if anyone has any recommendations. It'd be nice to finally bust out my roll of ASA for it.

Creatives of Tildes, I'm in dire need of help.

My plan on Nov 5th is to vote, drop my kids off at school, and then go stand next to the heaviest republican-leaning polling location within 20 miles of me until the polls close (with possible break to pick up my kids).

I need a sign. A good sign. I need 1 sign, maybe 1 pamphlet. A final plea to the Republican voter to vote against fascism. It needs to be succinct and thought provoking, but not accusitory. A visual for them to ponder as they walk in the building. Something to inspire even one voter to change their mind about voting R this year. I have ideas, but I am no artist, and not nearly as witty or empathetic as I wish I was.

It will, to the best of my knowledge, be just me. Although I invite you all to join me in spirit at your nearest equivalent.

Here are my ideas so far, but they all feel too wordy.

• Your spouse can't find out you voted for women's rights.
• Don't force my daughter to be on a menstration registry.
• The Republican party abandoned you, It's time for you to abandon them.
• If you replace "Immigrants" with "Jews", Trump sounds a lot like a Nazi.
• I don't like Kamala much, but I trust her to step down if she loses.
• Don't be on the wrong side of history.

An interesting animated musical film that could probably be posted in ~music but I thought the animation was the standout aspect of this short video. It’s not for everyone, but if you’re into experimental or psychedelic animation, this short is a standout from the 80s. Definitely worth a watch if you’re in the mood for something unusual and a little disorienting.

My mother and her husband's hobby is trawling Facebook marketplace for things they never realized they wanted (and often repairing them) and they managed to obtain a Harvest Right Freeze Dryer at a laughably low price. They've had some fun with it, and I'll be over soon and am considering giving it a try.

We're getting into winter, so my first thought was to freeze dry some toppings to pour into my ramen as needed -- I often add whatever is in my fridge, but it would be nice to have something mindless to throw in. Once you're running the dryer, it makes sense to fill it completely for efficiency's sake, so I'd be making a good quantity. There are 5 trays, so it would make sense to do 5 different mixes, though I could do more than that by making a tray separator with foil.

A little bit on freeze drying: To do it efficiently, you pre-freeze whatever you want to dry. Small or thin pieces are best, because they will sublimate out moisture faster, meaning the cycle completes faster. That's important, because the whole assembly uses a ton of electricity. Things that are very fatty or oily (ie, bacon or peanut butter) will not freeze dry well, and then will not be shelf stable after drying either. The other benefit of small pieces is that they rehydrate faster in liquid.

My first thoughts were a mix with frozen peas, carrots, broccoli and edamame (maybe chicken? But that's more work because it would need to be cooked first). Perhaps another with chopped napa cabbage, grated ginger and garlic...? I considered just doing individual ingredients, but I think it would just be easier for me to have a premade packet I can open and go. I typically buy chicken ramen, but I'll occasionally get something different.

There aren't any big Asian grocers anywhere near where the freeze dryer is, so any obscure ingredients I would want to dry, I would have to bring with me.

Let me know your ideas!

Here’s a topic that I would like to hear some opinions (advice) on. I work in a pretty demanding software role. The positives: I am well compensated and I like the work I do. It also helps that I work on a genuinely useful product whose sole purpose is not only to extract profits from the consumer base. I also do not work overtime.

Therefore I am covered on all bases: moral, financial and personal interest. However, for the past year or so my responsibilities have grown, and I have to juggle more and more (both in number of tasks, their complexity & deadlines) during the same period of time (remember, no overtime).

So now I find myself periodically stressed for longer & longer periods of time. I don’t have energy and motivation for my hobbies, and I dread having to engage in anything more intensive than the occasional walk. But I can tell that this state of being is not sustainable for the long term.

To whoever can relate: what are your thoughts?

Edit: some good things that I have going for myself, that help a little; I have a good sleep schedule, I rarely drink, I don’t stay connected to work outside working hours and I have a very supportive partner.

Does anyone here have any advice on repairing a book spine? I have a hard back that an excited puppy chewed off the outer part of the spine. Now that said puppy is well out of her "chewing on random stuff" stage I'm trying to figure out how to repair/reinforce the binding since it's otherwise a brand new book. I'm a crafty person so I'm trying to embrace the accident and treat it as a book with a bit more character.

Most of the glue is intact, so my current thought is to add additional glue (book binding glue I'd assume?) and then use a tape or fabric to reinforce the spine.

I'm not expecting a repair that looks like new. I'm looking for something functional and durable that will keep the book from falling apart with use. If there's a good tape for this application that would probably be sufficient. Just soliciting some additional feedback in case someone has done something similar before I take a stab at the project.

Here's some pictures of the book and of course puppy tax: https://postimg.cc/gallery/wyskQn1

Special Ed. Teacher here.

This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him Jake.

Edit: He's in middle school, btw.

To protect his privacy and my own, I can't give many specifics. This student is chronically online and I wouldn't put it past him to Google situations he's caused in my class.

Some vague descriptions of the things he's done this year:

-Repeatedly jokes about pedophilia and teachers who have been arrested for it. It makes me uncomfortable that he does this, obviously. The only saving grace here is that he has thrown it around so many times, including calling multiple teachers pedophiles last year, that everyone knows he is just being rude and it's not a serious accusation. Thoroughly documented and I'm not really concerned about actually being accused. Fyi, I have informed his adoptive parents and they have informed his counselor. They are taking it seriously and have started investigating whether or not this is just shocking humor or a more serious part of the Jake's history before adoption.

-Waits for the perfect time to drop rude or shocking comments to inflict maximum damage. When he wants to say something awful to me or in general, he will hold off until he has an audience and the room is relatively quiet.

-Constantly mocks and shit talks certain students. We have dealt with it. He isn't just getting away with it. But even after consequences, separation from the students, and punishments at home, he doesn't stop. He's hung up on hating a couple of kids in particular but will generally be rude to whoever if he wants to. One of these kids is a scrappy kid from a rough school and I could totally see it ending in punches if we don't manage this.

-Absolutely refuses to share any serious thoughts. Even when asked what kind of support he needs, what kind of rewards would motivate him, or what's bothering him, he just gives ridiculous answers in a high-pitched voice or walks away. This kid wants no part in coming up with solutions and won't even engage in a conversation about his behavior or even the behavior of others.

-Speaking of his high pitched voice, this is the voice he always uses to say rude things. He has his normal speaking voice and then he uses this higher pitched voice when he says things that are rude or shocking. Like he has two different brains and one wants to be mean.

-Last year, he kept a list of times he felt students and teachers had broken the code of conduct.

-absolutely hates special Ed. Hates me for being a special ed. teacher. Reminds the other kids in my class that they're "special" constantly.

For the record, all of these things have been addressed many times. The school has been supportive, the parents have been supportive, and everyone knows that this behavior, if continued for much longer, will likely result in a change of programming for this student. He would be placed in a more restrictive setting.

This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if anyone has ideas, because this student is on the verge of leaving my classroom. If there is anything I can do to make it work with this kid, I would do it immediately. He's smart, witty, and unfortunately very funny in a South Park kind of a way. But he's raising hell every day and he's the first student I've had where it feels like I can't connect with him at all. And not for lack of trying.

Inspired by this post and many thoughts I had about the topic previously.

For some reason, a lot of people treat friendships and romantic relationships as two entirely separate things. People say stuff like "I could never date a friend" or "I want to date them but they just want to be friends". The top comment by @BeanBurrito on the post I linked mentions how men want to become friends with women simply because they have too little confidence to just ask them out.

I've never understood this. To me, being a friend and dating are just two points on the same closeness spectrum. You go from acquaintances to friends, then best friends, then partners. You can obviously skip some of those steps sometimes, but those are still the same thing - being in a romantic relationship is the same as being very close friends, it's just an even closer form of it. Yes, there's usually an extra factor of exclusivity in a relationship - but they can be non exclusive, so it's not a defining trait.

Asking someone out shortly after meeting them is such a wild concept to me. You probably wouldn't meet someone and immediately just go "hey, let's be best friends", so why would you ask them if they would be even more?

I also don't really get why people care about being "friendzoned", for the same reason. Like ok, you won't be the "bestest closest friends" with someone, but you can still be good friends? If they agree, you can still have personal conversations, or cuddle, or do whatever else that you can do in a relationship. I get why people can be upset if a person they like shows absolutely no attention towards them, but why would you be upset at them just wanting to be friends?

It it literally just about sex and physical attraction? But then also, things like "friends with benefits" exist. So clearly, you don't have to be in a relationship in order to do that. And if that's the only thing you actually need, why would you ask someone "let's date" instead of just directly saying what you want?

I don't get it.

I read through hundreds of comments on reddit (I know, Ive digressed) on the question 'What would women dislike most if they became men?' The one that hit me square in the face were the thousands of men who agreed that they hadn't been complimented for anything in years.

One commenter said the last time he was complimented was ten years ago and he can still remember the time and the place because it was so unusual. One gut punch even said, "Many men are laying in their casket before many good things are ever said about them" and at first I thought, well that's gotta be hyperbole. But then I thought more about it and realized that while I have had a couple of compliments from my wife over the last year, I dont recall a single other person saying anything complimentary in probably over a year... And I never really thought about it, but its just not something we expect to hear.

It's not like I was waiting for compliments, but I think the statement true - men just rarely get compliments. And I'm not sure why.

I definitely don't compliment my friends very often. Occasionally do compliment my adult son but I'm sure, like most guys, that's pretty infrequent coming from any other male in his life.

It's just a bit odd when I think about how often my wife gets compliments. Or my daughters. Not sure why we men get so little affirmation that way. It really struck me as odd.

I've copied the full tweet below (it's from August, I missed this news somehow):

We've been evaluating a number of C++ successor languages for @ladybirdbrowser , and the one best suited to our needs appears to be @SwiftLang 🪶

Over the last few months, I've asked a bunch of folks to pick some little part of our project and try rewriting it in the different languages we were evaluating. The feedback was very clear: everyone preferred Swift!

Why do we like Swift?

First off, Swift has both memory & data race safety (as of v6). It's also a modern language with solid ergonomics.

Something that matters to us a lot is OO. Web specs & browser internals tend to be highly object-oriented, and life is easier when you can model specs closely in your code. Swift has first-class OO support, in many ways even nicer than C++.

The Swift team is also investing heavily in C++ interop, which means there's a real path to incremental adoption, not just gigantic rewrites.

Strong ties to Apple?

Swift has historically been strongly tied to Apple and their platforms, but in the last year, there's been a push for "swiftlang" to become more independent. (It's now in a separate GitHub org, no longer in "apple", for example).

Support for non-Apple platforms is also improving, as is the support for other, LSP-based development environments.

What happens next?

We aren't able to start using it just yet, as the current release of Swift ships with a version of Clang that's too old to grok our existing C++ codebase. But when Swift 6 comes out of beta this fall, we will begin using it!

No language is perfect, and there are a lot of things here that we don't know yet. I'm not aware of anyone doing browser engine stuff in Swift before, so we'll probably end up with feedback for the Swift team as well.

I'm super excited about this! We must steer Ladybird towards memory safety, and the first step is selecting a successor language that we can begin adopting very soon. 🤓🐞

Nitter link:

https://nitter.poast.org/awesomekling/status/1822236888188498031

Original post:

https://x.com/awesomekling/status/1822236888188498031

Some of Kling's replies in that thread are also pretty interesting:

My general thoughts on Rust:
- Excellent for short-lived programs that transform input A to output B
- Clunky for long-lived programs that maintain large complex object graphs
- Really impressive ecosystem
- Toxic community

In the end it came down to Swift vs Rust, and Swift is strictly better in OO support and C++ interop.

The September monthly report for Ladybird released the day after I posted this. It provides basically the same information:

This Month in Ladybird September 2024

The section about Swift:

Successor language search progress

Over the past year, our core contributors have been exploring potential safe languages to complement or succeed C++. We evaluated several options, including Rust, Swift, Fil-C, and others. While some languages offered compelling features, many fell short in either C++ interoperability or providing the level of memory safety we needed.

After extensive testing and discussion, Swift emerged as the top choice among our core developers, thanks to the new Swift 6 interoperability features and its growing cross-platform support. As a result, we’ve decided to adopt Swift as our C++ successor language.

That said, this will be an incremental shift. The existing C++ codebase is deeply embedded in the project, and a complete rewrite would be impractical. Instead, we’ll be gradually introducing new components in Swift, carefully integrating them with our existing C++ code over time. Look forward to a dedicated blog post on the topic soon.

Hi Tildes, I am going to Vienna in November (and if anyone wants to meet up send me a message! but that's another topic), and this is only half vacation, half for a work-related conference, so I want to be able to easily spend a couple hours on work even during the vacation part. To make this easier, I want to buy a portable 2nd monitor that I can plug into my laptop.

I have ZERO experience using such an item, and wasn't even 100% sure they really exist until I searched just now, so I don't think I have any flat requirements. However, I would super like if it takes touch input and comes with a pen! (no i do not want a tablet, I want a 2nd screen for my laptop that I can drag windows & paste between etc). It also should either be super lightweight or be safe to put in my checked luggage (preferably the latter). Minimum 1080p resolution, I don't think the size matters THAT much but at least the size of a normal laptop screen (and not netbook) would be good.

(oops I thought I was pressing enter on a tag but it sent the whole post! edited a bit to finish writing it)

Does anyone have any great examples of a document that explains an algorithm?

For work, I am trying to learn how an algorithm works, and I thought it'd be a great exercise to build up a doc that outlines what happens and how it works. I'm hopefully to lean slightly on the more technical side, but not so far that non-technical people won't derive any meaning.

I'm looking to write something that clearly outlines a process, and shows how those pieces affect the final result. It's something I've never done before, but having difficulty finding posts when googling around for "how an algorithm works".

I'm thinking the ideal format mixes both text and graphics, but the majority I have found are gigantic walls of text. I want to write about a software algorithm, but I think this broadly applies for any sort of complicated process.

A few years ago, I got my hands on a bottle of St. Elmo Cocktail Sauce. When I tried it for the first time, it had so much horseradish that for a moment, I thought I was going to die.

Fast-forward three seconds later, and I was eagerly repeating the experience over and over and over again. I could not get enough of it. It was like it was kicking my sinuses in the testicles and slapping my tastebuds in the face. I became addicted.

It changed my life.

The problem with cocktail sauce though, is there's only a few occasions you can reliably snack on it. I want something I can take with me on the go. I want a snack that grabs me by the shoulders and says "WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE."

I've tried various wasabi peas and smoked wasabi almonds. Horseradish potato chips (or crisps, if you'd rather) and pretzels. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, provides the puckered face, lose-your-balance experience I'm looking for. The only way I've gotten close is by putting handfuls of dried wasabi peas in my mouth at a time, and that folks, is just not sustainable.

And so, I come to you with my plea: I want pure, concentrated doses of horseradish/wasabi on some sort of crunchy, long-lasting snack vehicle. Yes, I have a problem, and yes I want you to enable me.

Any recommendations?

For those who don't know: Dark Tough sells high quality and really tough socks that take forever to wear out or develop holes. They're made in the USA and have a no-bullshit lifetime warranty. I bought my first pair over a year ago. It's actually kind of crazy that I put up with shittier, cheap socks for so long. I'm never going back.

And now, the ol' underwear are starting to get some holes in them. The kind of holes that let the breeze tickle your balls.

Unfortunately, while searching online for the Darn Tough equivalent of underwear, I found a lot of counter-recommendations. Someone would recommend a brand (like Duluth), but then someone else would provide a pretty detailed account of why and how that brand's underwear apparently sucks now, or they don't honor their warranty anymore, etc.

So, I thought I would ask for recommendations on Tildes, since I generally trust the judgement and reviews of you all more than other people on the internet.

Anyone have recommendations for good true crime podcasts? The format I'm most interested in would be something documentary-style, similar to Darknet Diaries (easily one of my top 3 podcasts in general), but covering a broader range of crime instead of just technology/internet-based ones. I've given a few podcasts a try, but there are so many true crime podcasts I don't really know where to start. Here are some I've already given a shot and why I like or don't like them:

• My Favorite Murder - I could stomach it OK in the early episodes, but once they started dong all the live shows and I had to listen to crowds laughing and cheering at what I thought were wholly inappropriate and disturbing moments it really turned me off. I don't mind approaching crime with a bit of humor (we laugh so we don't cry), this one takes it a bit too far for me at times.

• Crime in Sports and Small Town Murder - Lumping these together since they're by the same guys. It's another one where they take the comedy a bit too far for my taste at times. I originally learned about these guys from the Timesuck podcast (which I'm enjoying as I'm listening through older episodes and does sometimes cover crimes).

• Predators I've Caught - I actually kinda like this one. I watched and enjoyed all the TCAP stuff with Chris Hansen way back in the day, and even though I've come to realize that a lot of it is kind of problematic I can look past most of that for the purposes of entertainment. My biggest issue with this podcast and why I don't bother with it anymore is the insufferable number of ads they slot into each episode (and no option like patreon to get an ad-free feed). It's basically unlistenable.

• I did listen to Serial while it was actively airing, and it's great, but I'm more interested in one that covers something new each episode as opposed to longer multi-episode arcs.

• I Met My Murderer Online - This one scratched the itch pretty well, but it seems to be done now (no new episodes for over a year and the website doesn't seem to be up anymore). It had decent production value and covered a lot of interesting subjects.

I usually listen to podcasts in chronological order, so I'm totally open to recommendations of podcasts that are no longer producing new episodes if there's a decent backlog to go through.

I thought this might be a nice thread for folks to share some happy LGBTQ things, more personal things than news but if it impacts you personally, go for it. I was just sitting on the porch wearing my Totally Gay shirt thinking we needed a happy thread.

Share moments of Pride, queer joy, winning against those who would discriminate, whatever strikes you.

My only living parent has between one and five days left to live. The parent is unable to speak now and has had dementia for the last 5 years and will not recognize who I am if I go visit now in these final hours.

They live a few thousand miles away from me; it would be expensive to go and money is painfully tight right now with my partner unexpectedly unemployed and struggling to get a job comparable to the job just lost.

I’m somewhat estranged from this parent. The short version is this parent is a narcissist and really didn’t show up when I was growing up, or at any point in my adult life, or really at any point when it mattered. Despite this person being a really crappy parent, they exerted a massive gravitational pull in my life through many decades—basically, this parent loomed very large for far too long given the extreme narcissism, albeit much less so in the last decade or two. (Dementia and my coming to terms with it all and caring less and time and my having my own kids and my starting my own family all being some sort of salve.)

I have one very close friend who is telling me that it is critical to go before this parent dies because being present while they are still living will give me a kind of closure and unexpected resolutions that I cannot even anticipate now. This friend is quite adamant that going is critical for personal growth.

A different close friend says that going while the person is still alive is a complete waste and that I should go for the funeral instead where I can see other relatives and connect with my sibling and other relatives and deepen those relationships which (the friend says) will be a momentous transition point for us all, creating a better sense of family than any of us could have ever had while this person was alive. This friend insists that the healing and closure is identical pre-death and post-death, but that the extra emotional burden of seeing someone dying will derail me and never be able to be “unseen.” This person thinks spending money on two trips is foolish, so the one trip to go on is for the memorial. FWIW, My sibling is only going for the memorial.

Even if money were no object, I’m not sure I could emotionally handle going twice. I suppose I can, but that’s very time intensive and I have young kids myself who need me and for whom it would be a strain if I were gone for too long. I’ve already said it, but I have to say it again: money is really tight Going twice feels possible, but extremely difficult

I guess what I’m really trying to understand, if my feelings for this parent are presently ambivalence that grew over a decade or two from what was formerly extreme anger and hurt, is there something meaningful about going while the parent is still alive? Is there something important that happens before the person dies that is in someway healing or transformative or valuable? Is it more important to instead go when my sibling is going? Should I max the credit card and go twice? Should I risk infuriating and deeply damaging my relationships with my extended family and not go at all to save money? (This last option seems wrong, but it is a possibility, so I feel like it at least deserves considering.)

Friends of Tildes, what did you gain or lose from seeing a relative in hospice? What thoughts and wisdom do you have to share around moments like these?

Thank you in advance for sharing your stories. I’m sure your collective wisdom will help me make a better choice.

Thought that was a rather boring race. First half or so was just tire management. The added DRS zone didn't really spice anything up, as so many of the gaps were greater than 1 second. Even in the late race when the gaps tightened up, didn't seem like passing was possible. Perez couldn't get around Hulk. Leclerc couldn't get around Russell.

On a more positive note, Colapinto continues to kill it. Albon had to retire due to a PU cooling issue, but even before that, Colapinto passed his teammate on a great move at the start. One that Albon was not particularly happy about! Unfortuantely, Perez just nudged Colapinto out of the points.

McLaren continues to extend their recently-attained lead in the Constructor Championship. McLaren is ahead of Red Bull by 41 points. Though with 6 races left, that's not quite a guarantee just yet.

Anyway, we begin the unofficial autumn break. 4 weeks until COTA. A whole month. Sigh. Since we're entering another break, I'll also post the current Constructor and Driver Championships standings below.

Next race:

United States Grand Prix
Circuit of the Americas -- Austin, Texas
Sunday, October 20

Oscar Piastri is a beast. But so is Leclerc. I really thought Leclerc was going to get the place back a couple times, but Piastri kept closing that door on him. Absolutely great race for the both of them.

The crash between Perez and Sainz was unfortunate. Perez, especially, was driving a great race. He was ahead of Max! The whole time or pretty close to it, I think. P3/P4 for both would've been a great position for each. But DNFs for both instead.

I don't think it was 100% either driver's fault, as it sounds like both were trying to get into Leclerc's slipstream and drifted into each other, but I would probably assign more to Perez, just because he could see from behind and could've moved over. But I think it's really just a racing incident. They were racing hard; shit happens.

Great haul for Williams with 10pts! Even had Sainz and Checo not crashed out, they still would've scored points.

Anyway, onward to another street circuit: Singapore!

Next race:

Singapore Grand Prix
Marina Bay Street Circuit
Sunday, September 22

OT/Related: IndyCar's last race of the season is today. Big Machine Music City Grand Prix at the Nashville Superspeedway. 3:00p EDT.

Looking for ideas - we're two adults in our mid-30's, no kids. We'll be leaving a wedding on a Monday in Ipswich but our flight home from London isn't until Friday. We'll be spending a week in London beforehand so we'd like to explore the countryside.

The only thing we've (sort of) landed on is seeing/staying in the Cotswolds, and touring some castles (holy crap there's a ton to chose from). We're not big drinkers/partiers but I'd like to be able to go hang out in a real English pub and stay at a Lord-of-the-Rings kind of inn (I already found the inn that the Prancing Pony is based on - thought not sure if we want to stay there).

Other random thoughts. Unfortunately our schedule doesn't seem like it'll line up with any Premier League games. Not planning on renting a car but can if we absolutely must. Would kind of like to stay in one spot since it's only 3 nights.

I've thought about this off and on for like a year.

It, as far as I know, seems well documented that populations are struggling with dating and marriages, especially in the younger generations. A lot of people attribute it to things like finances, working hours, cost of living, etc, but also the abysmal online dating circus. People don't seem to go out with the intention of meeting people as much, and so most turn to apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. But with these apps basically monopolized by the Match group, and none of the parent companies have an actual incentive to get people off the app, it seems like a ripe opportunity for governments everywhere to try and fill in the gap.

As they don't have the investor profit motive, but they do have a very strong motive for people to get together, have relationships, marriages, eventually babies. And this is just a baseless claim on my part, but I imagine it could be stimulating to local economies as more people go on dates. I know at least my ass doesn't go anywhere really when I'm single.

I love westerns and would like to hear about your favorites and thoughts on the genre. Preferably a bit more than just a list of titles.

What is your relationship with the western genre and do you have some favorites you want to recommend?

Do you prefer spaghetti westerns, neo westerns, animated western or classic John Wayne westerns?

Does the western genre have a future?

Anniversary

The Dreamcast is now 25 years old in the US, after its memorable release date of 9/9/99!

Europe has another month to go (it released on 14 October 1999), and Japan already beat the world to the anniversary by almost a year (27 November 1998).

Share your thoughts, memories, favorite games, or anything else related to the Dreamcast here. You can reminisce about how cool Sonic Adventure was, how groundbreaking Shenmue was, or how unsettling Seaman was.

Play Along

I am taking a month out of my regular gaming habits (mostly smaller indie Steam stuff) to play different Dreamcast games through September in honor of the anniversary. If anyone wants to join me in that, I’d love the company!

Every so often I’ll post a comment to this topic with thoughts on what I’m playing. Feel free to post yours as well!

If anyone needs a place to get started, we have a topic with some game recommendations.

I’ll be emulating them on my Steam Deck through RetroDECK (which uses the Flycast core for RetroArch). I’ve already tested out a bunch of games, and performance and compatibility seem to be really good.

There are no points for this (it’s purely for fun), but if there were, anyone playing on original hardware would get bonus ones!

How many friends do you have? Good good friends vs more casual friends. What's the dividing line or definition of one vs the other for you? Related question: what life stage are you in, and what was friendship like at a different stage?

How do you keep in touch, esp for friends not in your city? Do you call them randomly or call / video chat with them regularly? Do texts count? Do people welcome phone calls out of the blue or is it more like, "oh gosh you have cancer" if one gets a call from a friend these days?

How much effort are regular people* putting into maintaining/strengthening their friendships in their late-30s onwards? (Regular people being, maybe, folks who aren't terminally online, folks who are neurotypical, folks without social anxiety etc?) [edit: oh no I messed up!! I mean that I super want to hear from others who fit one or more of these boxes as well, but since I'm 3/3 plus all kinds of crazy I am interested to know if these are factors in friendships, particularly because most people are of the "normal" sort who would have to put up with me.....my apologies.]

Do folks suddenly realise maybe they don't have many/any close friends, or they're not as close anymore as they thought they were decades ago? How do folks maintain friendship as people age and move apart? Or is it just normal that once you're not in the same city to hang out, they stop being good friends?

Have you ever made conscious and serious efforts to make / rekindle friendships before? How, and how'd that turn out ?

It seems like the last real discussion about the subject was about 6 years ago

I am mostly wondering what the thoughts now are on crossposting something in different tildes groups. This was inspired by a few things. Last week I was unsure where to post something and ended up posting it in the most topical tildes group even though previous posts that took off were posted in a different group. Meaning that people that are subscribed to ~comp but not ~life might have missed the post even though they might be interested.

Then there is this post. I was about to post the same link before realizing it was already posted. The post in question is posted in ~games, I would have posted it in ~tech. I feel like the overlap between ~games and ~tech subscribers likely is a bit bigger, but also here I feel like people might potentially be missing out.

I realize this might not be the biggest issue, the majority of people on tildes seem to be subscribed to all groups. But it still, it tickled something in my brain and this is the second time in a short period that I find myself thinking about this.

Ideally, in my mind, this would be solved on a technical level where you can post something in two groups with a consolidated comment section. However, I don't see this happening in the sort term.

Tags sort of cover this, but given they can be anything and quite numerous, browsing through them is not something I personally would ever use or actually address this.

The second-best solution, and the one I'd like to discuss, is to simply cross post and in one of the posts leave a comment linking to the other post to consolidate discussion a bit.

Am I overthinking the issue? Probably. :) But overall, what are peoples thoughts on allowing cross posts between groups? Any real downsides besides double entries in the listing?

In three days, I will have 7 years clean from opiates including heroin. I've actually been talking about it quite a bit on Tildes recently due to a lot of mental health threads popping up, but outside of this forum, I don't really think or talk about my previous life very often. For me, putting that life in the rearview and disengaging from the recovery community was the best way to stay clean.

However, around anniversaries, I usually take a bit of time to reflect. I consider where I was, where I am now, how I got there, and how I got here. I think about how different my life is now that I have an amazing career, a house, a wife, and a beautiful infant son.

This anniversary, I've been thinking about the Siren's song, the Faustian bargain, the devil in a dress. In other words, I've been thinking about how enticing false promises can be.

I think back to when I had my hydrocodone prescription for a knee injury right around the time I started partying pretty hard - toward the end of high school and early college. The people I started hanging out with were incredible to me. They were early in their addictions, so they were on top of the world. They had jobs, cars, unlimited drugs, and were surrounded by attractive women. They had zero side effects from their drug use and were living a crazy lifestyle that looked more fun than anything I'd ever imagined. They worked all day to pay the bills and sold small amounts of drugs to fund their own habits - use half, sell half at a party. Easy. This was when I started incorporating hydrocodone into my partying routine. I knew I liked opiates, but I didn't know you could be high all the time with zero consequences. (Spoiler alert, you can't. You all know where this is going).

Soon after, I became the guy I thought I wanted to be. I was the one who was carrying around a pharmacy in my backpack and was able to get my hands on any drug you can think of. I had a hundred friends and a million buddies. I was dating and having sex with women who I felt were "out of my league." I was getting my degree, and I was having a ton of fun pretty much every single day and night. When I look back at photos from this time in my life, I still have a hard time believing it was real. I have stories for days. Insane, amazing, hilarious stories. These were some of the best times of my life in many ways. At the time, I wanted it to last forever and thought maybe it could. This was the Siren's song working its magic. I was trapped by this point.

This lasted longer than you'd think. But eventually, I started experiencing withdrawal when I wasn't high. Then I had to start going on more and more "side quests" to get money for drugs since I could no longer satiate the craving by selling half and keeping half. I noticed that the people I once looked up to weren't doing so hot. A few of them overdosed, a few of them got arrested, and a few packed their bags to get away and get clean. My friends either got into drugs with me or distanced themselves.

Things started getting really dark after college. Now I was getting high alone most of the time and the parties were fewer and farther between. Things got really really dark when I was doing crazy shit like driving from NY to Texas without sleeping and buying black tar heroin. I often found myself in the open-air drug market in my city buying drugs at 4 in the morning from people with guns, found myself stealing pills from loved ones, started selling my belongings, crashed two cars, lost three jobs, etc. You get the picture.

If anyone has ever wondered why addicts go to such great lengths to get high, it's mostly because withdrawal is the most unpleasant thing you could ever imagine. Movies and TV don't even begin to show how unbearable it really is. Imagine a full body flu, kicking, shaking, puking and wishing you were dead. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that your brain literally can't produce happy chemicals, so you can't feel a sliver of happiness or optimism. You can't even remain logical about the situation. Your brain is telling you that life is meaningless and without joy for now and for always unless you get high. Between that and the physical symptoms (both of which last weeks/months) it's way too easy to use the panic button and take a hit, which instantly makes everything beautiful and wonderful again.

I look at my life now and I cannot believe how fortunate I was/am. I managed to escape that hell with no felonies, no diseases, and few long-term consequences. This good luck allowed me to move on and build a better life with fewer obstacles than most. I feel immense sadness for the many others who weren't so fortunate. I can name 10 people I knew personally from those years that ended up losing their lives to fentanyl. I can name many more who have criminal records that make them hard to employ. I know that, of those of us who got clean, there are at least a handful that will continue to struggle, relapse, and possibly die. It's hard to imagine how something that makes you feel so unbelievably good can leave a pile of bodies in its wake.

I tell this story because I have been thinking about three interesting memories/concepts lately:

1. The Siren's Song - something that seemed pure and beautiful was the worst thing to ever happen to me.

2. The incubation period of addiction - this early phase where you found something you love and you want everyone to experience it. This is when addicts are the most dangerous I think. This is when they hook their friends and loved ones by demonstrating to others that they too can manage this amazing life just fine with no consequences. Like a virus, I was already infected and contagious, but since I wasn't showing symptoms, people didn't know to stay away from me.

3. A conversation I had with my drug counselor when I first got clean. I was beating myself up, telling her I blamed myself because I knew better than to get hooked on drugs. She got very serious and said to me, "Stop. Don't ever say that again. You didn't know. You might have heard, but you didn't know. I've seen hundreds of addicts, and none of you knew what you were getting into. If you had known, you wouldn't have done it. Simple as that."

I don't have any deep insights or points to make - just reflecting and wanted to open the floor for discussion. Have any of you ever had any experiences with a Siren's song?

I’m interested in everyday applications like noticing bias in commercial media as well as word-of-mouth and social media. Are there any principles or methods you know of that you’d consider especially important?

I’m also interested in any recommendations for online training.

Edit: Wow! Since there are some great suggestions in the comments, I'd like to summarise them here:

• Primary sources and secondary sources (fefellama)
• Engagement (BeanBurrito)
• Under The Influence by Terry O'Reilly [podcast] (chocobean)
• Influence, marketing, motivation, bias, dark patterns, corruption, phrasing and choice of words (chocobean)
• Multiple sources. Verbalise your thought process / question yourself (hobofarmer)
• Advanced Placement English. Ethos, pathos, logos (Wisix)
• Learning how to hold and study concepts without internalizing them. Not becoming emotionally dependent on “being right”. (bet)
• Flaws in perception and processing. The Scout Mindset by Julia Galef: "the motivation to see things as they are, not as you wish they were" (Landhund)
• Fact checking, exercises such as mock trials (chizcurl)
• Not assuming that critical thinking transfers across domains (daywalker)
• Falsifiability, scientific psychology, psychological bias, cognition / emotion / behaviour (daywalker)
• 'Very Short Introductions' series by Oxford Press (daywalker)
• Many ways to conceptualise "critical thinking". Appreciating the humanity of other people. (mieum)
• Self reflection and acknowledgement of diversity (mieum)
• The Unpersuadables: Adventures with the Enemies of Science [book] (gaywallet)
• Being Wrong: Adventures on the Margin of Error [book] (boxer_dogs_dance)
• Be curious and ask questions (Markpelly)
• Empathy facilitates understanding and tempers reactivity (Aerrol)
• Nobel disease or Nobelitis (saturnV)

if i chart my life happiness, fulfilment, success over the past four years, the trend is clearly downwards. some clear wins and stretches of improvement, some quite significant, which i am proud of, but overall, i am getting worse and worse and worse. i attribute my problems mostly to two things: severe social isolation, and an extreme deficit of executive function. however i got here, i'm stuck with the fallout

my memory is bad, and my attention shot, so i kind of don't know what's happened emotionally. i know some focal points, though

this past march, i had a major depressive episode, and it feels like i spent most of a week doing nothing but crying, for no reason at all. i'm not sure how i fed myself

at the beginning of 2022, i quit my (very cushy and chill) job, which i had had for a little over a year at that point, because i felt like i was unmotivated and not actually doing work. (the facts are a bit more subtle; it was partly that the work itself was uninteresting to me, and they wanted to work with me to find something for me to do that i would find more interesting. i was going along with that, until a new opportunity appeared, which i jumped for because i wanted to be able to make a clean break. that opportunity immediately fell through.) i had been living with my parents until shortly before, so i had a lot of savings

now, i find myself in a similar situation, only much more dire. a friend got me a job working with smart people on interesting problems. i have not been doing well. i have been extremely uncommunicative. the pattern is clear: i talk to people, flex my technical chops; they are impressed and like me a lot. then i'm not very productive, and my output slowly deteriorates to nil. i think i just can't do wfh tech work. last week was a blur. i don't know what happened at all. i don't think i've checked slack in close to two weeks, and atp i'm a little bit afraid to. two weeks ago, i asked my friend/coworker to poke me every day to make sure i was doing something. it seemed and still seems like a good strategy. and then a day or two after i asked him that i just dropped off the map again

i'm not addicted to drugs or video games. it seems like i ought to be. i am a bit drunk right now, but that is quite irregular

recently, i thought i'd finally made a close friend. this morning, she broke up with me and blocked me for a really really stupid reason. i am really hurt by that, and it makes me feel a bit hopeless about the whole thing. spent the afternoon crying about it and now just feel a bit numb. i give it decent odds she comes back, but. i know one problem i have is putting my eggs in too few baskets. but there are so few baskets that seem worth investing in, and investment is so hard

she suggested i try to get prescribed add medication for my work problems, and was going to give me some illicitly to see if it helped. the latter is not happening anymore, of course. and i cannot stomach the medical system (already i have other things i have been putting off talking to my doctor about for a while), not to mention that it would take forever to do anything for me

i don't know what to do in the short to medium term. i don't know what to say to my work that i haven't said already, other than: clearly, i am just incapable of doing this. i am not super financially stable right now, and being without a job seems like a bad idea

As I write this, I’m using a $10 foot massager from Temu that my wife bought. I thought it was totally stupid but it gets nightly use. We lie on the couch and just let it run.

Edit2: it looks like the LINGTENG one on Amazon - probably white labeled from same factory, nothing special about it but we like the simplicity.

What has anyone else found surprisingly useful?

Edit -

Here are some things that came in mind as I was walking around:

• Different type of mason jar lids from masontops for sprouting, cold press coffee, pouring spout for watering plants, etc.
• ifixit kit - originally used for phone fixing now used for prying random stuff - the Ifixit jimmy is really useful, and it’s great to have all tools in one place
• Shoegoo - originally used for shoe fixing now used for fixing bike parts - time to invest in a glue gun
• YouTube premium - I originally got a family plan so that my mom wouldn’t watch so many ads, but now it’s an integral part of my passive learning system - languages, guitar, sports, etc.
• hydrogen peroxide - I got it for wound disinfecting but it has only ever been used as a stain remover.
• cheap Muji mini umbrella - way more used than my fancy Davek

Hey, so there's been an ice buildup in our fridge creeping along the back. After a while it hit the front, and tadaaaa, it finally got bad enough the door didn't close fully... So most everything outside of one big pile of vegetables got defrosted overnight. (On the plus side, I walked into having a nice big pancake breakfast!) We threw out the meats and moved the veggies to our other freezer. This at least let me finally disassemble everything and see what's in there. It looks like this in there:

https://imgur.com/a/YnGB3Zz

When we noticed this was happening a few months ago I turned off the ice maker switch in the back and, but it still kept doing this. There's still a ton of ice in the top tray, and set the temp to the max. But the fridge is right up against the left wall there, making it difficult/impossible to get the trays here out with the door blocking it. Additionally the right side has a dishwasher immediately next to it, so a decent amount of heat goes up the back. Then ALSO I found that big chunk of ice frosted on a pipe, so I wonder if it split? I'm unfamiliar with fridge design, so I don't know exactly what would give me the right answer.

I'm wondering what to do. My thoughts are that I've finally got the bottom tray/shelf/bucket thing out, so I could hammer the shit out of it and at least clear the bottom up... Then if I could get the top tray out I could see if removing all the ice in the top would stop the creep. I'm guessing that's a big fat no. At that point, is it possible to remove the ice module that I actively do not want anyway to see if it fixes anything, or is it integral to the freezer design? And at that point... Should we just get another fridge? Are there fridges without this busto icemaker shit nowadays? Thanks!

My dog is really important to me. Without going into much detail, he and I have been through a lot and I’m committed to making his life as good as possible. a couple of years ago we lived in San Francisco and we were happy. Then I moved to the East Coast, spent a year with my parents before starting a PhD. That was not the best experience, it was at the last stage of his adulthood before being elderly, and he got attacked by my mom‘s dog several times and we were in a shitty concrete hell suburbia that had no good places to walk him. I am very sympathetic to how difficult the transition has been.

Finally we have a place to ourselves again, and it sucks. I feel like he’s ruining my life. It’s been upsetting me to the point that I want to scream.

• he will not leave me alone. He needs to be where I am at all times. We live in a modest one bedroom apartment, and you can see every room from any other room. if I go into the bedroom and he’s in the living room, he has to hop off the couch and follow me 15 feet. If I go to the bathroom, he’s laying down outside the door. Because of his arthritis, I wish he would just stay and not walk unnecessarily.

• I take him on one good size walk and two or three small walks per day. these are the most frustrating times of my day. He lags behind me no matter how slowly I go. I have to keep the leash very short so that I don’t have him fearing off left and right. He wants to smell every single thing. He used to, be a good walker and he would stay at my side and come to that position if I signal him to. But in his old age, he just doesn’t listen to me, it’s not a matter of hearing. He completely ignores me.

• if he is not eating, out on a walk, or tearing up a stuffy, he is unhappy. He lays and will now and then sneezes or sighs.

• he has always had this problem where, a sudden loud noise will deeply disturb him. He will shake uncontrollably, and any attempt to soothe him, by talking to him or touching him, just makes him shake worse.

• he hounds me for food. The moment I touched something in the kitchen, he comes.

• I have gotten him several bowls to try slowing down his eating, but he eats like he’s starving. So I have to feed him in small bits, and if the bits are spread apart too far, he starts shaking like he’s being neglected. I have had him tested for diabetes or other issues, his blood work comes back normal.

• he always wants to sleep in my bed, but he does not want me to touch him. If we are sleeping back to back and our hips touch, he gets off the bed. And then he gets back on as soon as he sees a decent opportunity. we used to share the bed, because I have had a California king size bed by myself, and it was fine. But in the last year, it’s just like he hates it.

I have come to hate the sound of his collar jingling. I have nasty thoughts like waiting for the relief of him passing away. Sometime I have an aggressive voice, but I really do always try to keep my voice light and keep his tailwagging in my interactions with him. I’m sure he can sense my agitation though. It has become overwhelming. I don’t enjoy a single moment of our life together.

And I have to work and he needs to be walked several times a day and he will shake if he feels like he’s being neglected in that aspect, so when I have to go run errands, I take him with me, but I can never get anywhere because not only is he naturally slow. He has developed this instinct of lagging behind and he wants to stop and smell everything and it’s just annoying to have to constantly crouch down and Argue with him to get him to move his body. I don’t feel comfortable, forcing him to move, especially because of his arthritis.

Like I said, he used to have good training, but it has all fallen by the wayside and he is old and stubborn.

But this cannot continue. I Don’t believe either of us are happy. I would like some advice on how to effectively train him in the time that I have, I do not have the money to hire a trainer. I also ask that you handle your responses gently; I am extremely upset by this and I am aware of how shitty it sounds of me to speak of him so poorly, but my mental health is falling apart because of the lack of freedom and relaxation that I can find living with him.

I have no intention of rehoming him, and have always been committed to his safety, and comfort and mental and physical happiness. if I rehomed him, it would haunt me, it would devastate me. But I would do it if I believed he would be happier. But I don’t believe he would be, I have left him with my parents and other people in the past, and he just waits vigilantly for me to return.

Edit: I also want to say that I am open to advice on how I can manage myself and my feelings about this

I'm looking for games that I can play and enjoy with my 8 years old son. It doesn't need to be a 2-players game, or even a game that he can play (though if he can take the controller and get actively involved, that's better), but just something that he can enjoy as a "backseat player". We have a Switch, a PC, and a PS4.

tl;dr: "backseatable" adventure-ish games with exploration and a clear direction (different sights to see, and a sense of progression), puzzles (so he feels involved when exchanging ideas), ok with light horror. Low stakes, low stress.

Here are some games that we played together and both liked:

• Outer Wilds: loved it so much we did 2 playthroughs in 2 years. He liked the sights, the exploration/treasure hunt aspect, the puzzles, and he asked me questions about our universe and solar system. He was mostly passive as a player both times we played, but we were sharing ideas and he was making suggestions on what to do/where to go next.
• Link's Awakening remake: we played this one when he was 6 years old, with me taking the lead for the bosses or more complicated puzzles. We finished it together.
• Stanley Parable: I intended to play it alone, but unexpectedly he really liked watching me play.
• Strange Horticulture, Grim Fandango, Day of the Tentacle: he liked solving the puzzles with me, and me explaining/narrating what was happening and why.
• Portal 1 & 2: he was able to play on his own with some help, and the coop levels in Portal 2 were great.
• Deep Rock Galactic: he's making his own story and narrating along while I (and sometimes random players) play normally.
• Human Fall Flat: he loves the slapstick humor and finds better (and more creative) solutions than I do
• Mario Odyssey: probably his GOAT game, the accessibility features helped him a lot to play and enjoy it alone.

He's also taking an interest in light horror (specifically mascot horror) games:

• Garten of Banban series: objectively bad games but he really enjoyed the progression, light puzzles, and the liminal level design.
• Indigo Park: much better production value, mostly a walking sim, but very short.
• The Complex: a free "Backrooms" game. He didn't play it since he wasn't yet comfortable with mouse and keyboard controls, but liked watching me explore around
• Crow Country (demo): he backseated and enjoyed it. There's an "exploration mode" that removes enemies. Will probably buy the full game later.

And some "failed" tentatives:

• Tunic: since he liked Link's Awakening, I thought he might like Tunic, but no. Probably because of a lack of NPCs or clear indications, and the game is too difficult for him. Not fun to backseat.
• Zelda BOTW: he tried to play it when he was a bit too young, and had a hard time with it. I'll probably try again soon.
• Minecraft Dungeons: we played 2-3 games but he got bored of it very quickly.
• Diablo 3: he saw me playing and wanted to try it. He liked it much more than Minecraft Dungeons but hated seeing villagers getting turned into zombies, so we stopped here.
• Sandboxes: not his thing (Minecraft, Terraria, No Man's Sky, Animal Crossing)

So in summary, I highlighted the best experiences we had (with Outer Wilds being the best), and I'm looking for something equivalent.

EDIT - I'll try to keep this post up-to-date with the suggestions we liked:

• Superliminal: Excellent, I wasn't expecting such a good game. He's managing most of it alone, and there's even a (harmless) "scary" section
• Untitled Goose Game: Great suggestion. We actually already played it (not to completion), and he loves honking and absolutely not helping me complete the objectives 😅
• Layton series: I think he tried the first one on my DS for an hour or two. I'll suggest it again and be the backseat player myself.
• Luigi's Mansion 3: GOTY
• Poppy Playtime: mascot horror games, but actually good. Each game is longer and (as of the 3rd one) better than the previous one. The 3rd game is a legit horror game, with a clear inspiration from Silent Hill PT (and others like Bioshock).
• Kirby Forgotten Land: did not enjoy by himself, kinda liked it in coop. I think the cute pink ball is no longer aligned with his current tastes.