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    1. Any food vlog recommendations?

      Hello, Tildes food community! My husband and I are avid travelers, and particularly enjoy trying new and delicious foods in the places we visit - everything from local street food and mom'n'pop...

      Hello, Tildes food community! My husband and I are avid travelers, and particularly enjoy trying new and delicious foods in the places we visit - everything from local street food and mom'n'pop restaurants to high-end Michelin starred cuisine. It can be hard to narrow down the "best of" in a region, and thus-far have had some amazing meals, and some misses, while doing our own research. I'm hoping for recommendations of food travel vlogs of folks who are: not annoying, know good food and have reliable palates, and are willing to give honest feedback about the best places to eat. Any help and suggestions are much appreciated!

      10 votes
    2. Stardew Valley community trades mod

      Edit to add: coop multiplayer is not available on the mobile version, which is the only realistic choice for our current life pattern / technology setup. I do agree it sounds interesting and fun!...

      Edit to add: coop multiplayer is not available on the mobile version, which is the only realistic choice for our current life pattern / technology setup. I do agree it sounds interesting and fun!

      My family has recently been on a big Stardew Valley kick. My spouse and I and our daughter are all first time players playing on android, which has no multiplayer mode.

      From what I understand about multiplayer, I don't really think it would be good for us. We all play the game in very different ways. However, I think it would be amazing to be able to trade items. No one but me likes going into the mines/caves, and sometimes you just need one of something out of season.

      My idea is that there would be a special chest I could put something into and it would be moved out of my game and into one of theirs or vice versa. Obviously, you could mod the game so you can just get any item, but this way somebody still has to get it, so it (hopefully) doesn't undermine the game economy.

      I have been looking at the mod community, and it seems like the android version supports mods. I haven't found a mod that does as described. My general path forward is:

      • set up a mod that implements the chest and talks to a server via API
      • set up a server that can receive and hold incoming "put" and then send those items with the "get" from the client at the other end
      • build the API so that it can represent important assets in the game
      • come up with a lightweight way to secure the protocol to the intended users (this may depend on how identifiable individual clients are, but could be as simple as putting in a shared secret when creating the chest)

      Obviously there are a lot of details to work out, but I wanted to get some wider feedback from people who had been playing the game longer.

      • does this already exist and I'm just not aware? I did spend some time searching, but it seems like most mods are either cosmetic or change the in game mechanics in some way.
      • would you be interested in something like this?
      • what kind of mechanics would you want to see? Maybe a way to propose and accept specific trades rather than just sending items? Would you limit it to your circle of friends or be interested in a wider community?
      • have you written or used Stardew Valley mods (especially on android), and if so, what was your experience?
      17 votes
    3. What is a software you wish existed?

      I've been feeling pretty bored for a while and my job isn't really giving something fulfilling to do, So I want to make something. However, I don't want to make something useless. unfortunately, I...

      I've been feeling pretty bored for a while and my job isn't really giving something fulfilling to do, So I want to make something.

      However, I don't want to make something useless. unfortunately, I can't think of any software I'm in a particular need for. I would love to make something that solves a real problem for a real human.

      So, please tell me, what's something that you wish existed because it would reduce suffering in your life that little (or big) bit?


      Edit: Wow wow and wow, I didn't expect this thread that I made on a whim to blow up so much. So many idead!

      69 votes
    4. Is National Cinema Day happening this year? I can't get a straight answer online!

      So last year, the day after National Cinema Day, I saw this Tildes thread: https://tildes.net/~movies/19s7/today_is_us_national_cinema_day_what_are_you_going_to_go_see_for_4 Apparently I missed...

      So last year, the day after National Cinema Day, I saw this Tildes thread:
      https://tildes.net/~movies/19s7/today_is_us_national_cinema_day_what_are_you_going_to_go_see_for_4

      Apparently I missed out on the year's biggest discount day... No biggie, I'd go next year!

      My phone's calendar said it would be on August 25th 2024, so I set a reminder. I check this morning, and see... normal priced movies?

      I look it up, and I see Regal's website hasn't been updated since 2023, 99% of news articles are still about 2023, and the articles about 2024 say either September or October dates. The subreddit for cinema employees as recently as 11 days ago had no clue when it would be.

      Does anyone on Tildes know what's going on?

      11 votes
    5. What advantages does Linux have over other operating systems?

      When people talk about switching to Linux from Windows/macOS, especially for those inexperienced with Linux, the conversation often becomes mostly about drawbacks: all the things you'll have to...

      When people talk about switching to Linux from Windows/macOS, especially for those inexperienced with Linux, the conversation often becomes mostly about drawbacks: all the things you'll have to sacrifice, that don't work outright, or that aren't as smooth.

      On the other hand, if you had to highlight the advantages of Linux to a newcomer, what would you say?

      What might someone gain by switching to Linux, rather than lose?

      What are some of the drawbacks people are currently living with on other OSes that they might not be aware of simply because they're used to them?

      50 votes
    6. Quitting alcohol, I don't feel like I was ever *that bad*

      Two weeks ago I decided to cut alcohol out of my life. I have a weird issue though where I don't feel I necessarily relate to other problem drinkers in support spaces online, and I assume would...

      Two weeks ago I decided to cut alcohol out of my life. I have a weird issue though where I don't feel I necessarily relate to other problem drinkers in support spaces online, and I assume would not in-person, because I feel like my habit was never particularly bad. I've never been addicted to the degree where I have to have a drink to function, I never used it as a crutch in social situations, or anything like that. I don't mean this to put anybody down, but I've grown up around alcoholics, and even count myself among that number, but feel I somehow never fell into the worst, and have a hard time walking away from where I was because of it.

      To break down my cycles of drinking:

      I started with a beer a day. I liked beer, then moved on to drink/include whiskeys and other hard liquors. I'd have 1-3 drinks a night most nights from when I was of legal drinking age and could afford my own alcohol, and have a pace usually of one an hour. I enjoyed the tastes, experimenting with different varieties, and just exploring what was out there from whiskeys, cordials, weird beers, meads, anything.

      Then there came a point where I started drinking heavily infrequently but regularly about seven years ago, where half a handle was gone in a week and a half and I had no idea where it went. I didn't black out at all, but would later realize I was drinking it really fast. This continued, I would stop buying hard liquor, and then buy some, and drink it quicker than I should have, rinse repeat.

      The thing where I feel conflicted is I feel like I was in control, in a sense. I really enjoyed the alcohol I was drinking and would sip on it over a few hours having glass after glass. For these heavier nights I would wake up with a mild hangover, but it wasn't an every day thing. I would occasionally mess up and drink half a 750ml bottle and regret it, but tone it back down.

      As far as cravings, I would crave alcohol like I crave other foods/drinks, like "I really want some Johnnie Walker Black this week" similarly to how I would think "I want a coke." Then I would clear 375ml in three days, and realize I didn't have enough to enjoy until the next paycheck (I generally didn't buy liquor more than once a pay period because I was usually interested in being more intimate with one drink at a time). Similar to how if I eat candy bars regularly I crave them, alcohol is/was the same.

      Part of this led me to take a long time to give myself permission to stop drinking. I decided two weeks ago that I just don't need alcohol and sort of just said I'd commit to it, do the "one day at a time" thing. No end time, just never doing it. I feel if there's a deadline, or any conditions to drink, I'll slip back into the patterns I had which weren't entirely self-destructive, but not something I wanted to live with. As far as work functions, I'll just get a soda, mocktail, or water.

      As a result, I have also hit a sort of malaise about how different things aren't. I've had dry patches where I chose not to drink, and I don't have a huge recovery story since I wasn't drinking all the time anyway, but going through these sorts of cycles. I don't feel any different because I'm not healing, I'm not going through any withdrawals or detox, I don't have any behavior to feel guilty about, or anything. I feel like a bad alcoholic, in a sense, because I don't have much to run from beyond the problem of "one is too many, two is not enough." I also feel self-conscious about not drinking alcohol, because I'm worried about how to answer if asked why.

      I guess, to a point, I'm reaching out because I feel a little alone on this. I'm not sure how to navigate my not-quite sobriety (I still use cannabis edibles on rare occasion, and kava quite frequently, but not regularly). Has anybody else been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it internally?

      48 votes
    7. What are online courses could you suggest for starting UI/UX design?

      Hey there, I am asking for a friend who is interested in transitioning from their career of designing print ads (Photoshop and InDesign) to web design. I would imagine they would need some courses...

      Hey there, I am asking for a friend who is interested in transitioning from their career of designing print ads (Photoshop and InDesign) to web design.

      I would imagine they would need some courses on responsive design and Figma? But I'll let the people with experience talk if they're here.

      Free is preferred but willing to pay if needed! And if you have links or specific online courses you really like and helped you, that would be great!

      Thanks in advance!

      15 votes
    8. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like antitrust, redundancies and donation.blood. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like antitrust, redundancies and donation.blood. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was perplexed.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      25 votes
    9. Why do so many recipes call for powdered sugar instead of regular sugar?

      This is a question I've been wondering about for a while as a home baker and amateur food scientist. Why do recipes for whipped, fluffy desert components like whipped cream or buttercream icing...

      This is a question I've been wondering about for a while as a home baker and amateur food scientist. Why do recipes for whipped, fluffy desert components like whipped cream or buttercream icing always seem to call for powdered sugar? If I want to add sugar to a something, why would I also want to add the anti-caking agent (usually starch I think) for powdered sugar as well? Is that starch actually something beneficial for a whipped desert? Because as far as I can tell, the only time powdered sugar makes sense is when it's dusted on top of something or incorporated into a desert that is being mixed by hand and doesn't have the shear of a mixer to dissolve or emulsify the granulated sugar. And I've never had any issues just using regular granulated sugar and honestly prefer it to powdered sugar for icings, whipped cream and the like. If a recipe calls for powdered sugar, but it's being combined with a mixer or beaters I just use regular sugar and the results are great.

      Anyone have any thoughts or experience as to what I'm overlooking? Or is it just a hold over from a time when electric mixers weren't common and you needed a finer sugar to incorporate the sugar by hand?

      18 votes
    10. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      11 votes
    11. Repurposing an old central AC system

      So this is ultimately a very oddball situation. Some background: I live in a rancher in southern NJ. Fully electrified home. I had recently installed minisplits to replace some electric baseboard...

      So this is ultimately a very oddball situation. Some background:

      I live in a rancher in southern NJ. Fully electrified home.

      I had recently installed minisplits to replace some electric baseboard heaters, covering about 2/3 of my home. This was fortunate, as I believe my blower fan in my central AC unit blew out. The minisplits + 1 window unit have actually been cheaper to operate than the old AC unit, so now I have a vestiegal high-velocity central AC system in my attic.

      Namely, this means a lot of unused flexible, insulated ductwork and some ferro-fluids in my attic that should probably be blocked off and drained, respectively.

      I've been contemplating on how to possibly repurpose some of this stuff to fix one of the biggest blind spots in my home: ventilation and filtering

      My one bathroom exhaust fan vents directly into the attic, which is a moisture hell that needs solved.

      There's no other ductwork in my home, and pretty much the only time fresh air gets in the house is if we crack windows or open doors.

      So the theory is:

      I route the bathroom exhausts into the old air handler coils to help capture the moisture and drain it out, then have it mix with some outside air and recirculate it into the house again.

      Alternatively, routing some of the air between the attic/crawlspace/attached garage for preconditioning outside air as as well.

      Is this insanity, or a remotely plausible idea? I'm fairly handy, and since its sbeing made with vestigial bits in spare time labor cost is much less of an issue than parts.

      8 votes
    12. Looking for advice — extreme frustration with my dog

      My dog is really important to me. Without going into much detail, he and I have been through a lot and I’m committed to making his life as good as possible. a couple of years ago we lived in San...

      My dog is really important to me. Without going into much detail, he and I have been through a lot and I’m committed to making his life as good as possible. a couple of years ago we lived in San Francisco and we were happy. Then I moved to the East Coast, spent a year with my parents before starting a PhD. That was not the best experience, it was at the last stage of his adulthood before being elderly, and he got attacked by my mom‘s dog several times and we were in a shitty concrete hell suburbia that had no good places to walk him. I am very sympathetic to how difficult the transition has been.

      Finally we have a place to ourselves again, and it sucks. I feel like he’s ruining my life. It’s been upsetting me to the point that I want to scream.

      • he will not leave me alone. He needs to be where I am at all times. We live in a modest one bedroom apartment, and you can see every room from any other room. if I go into the bedroom and he’s in the living room, he has to hop off the couch and follow me 15 feet. If I go to the bathroom, he’s laying down outside the door. Because of his arthritis, I wish he would just stay and not walk unnecessarily.

      • I take him on one good size walk and two or three small walks per day. these are the most frustrating times of my day. He lags behind me no matter how slowly I go. I have to keep the leash very short so that I don’t have him fearing off left and right. He wants to smell every single thing. He used to, be a good walker and he would stay at my side and come to that position if I signal him to. But in his old age, he just doesn’t listen to me, it’s not a matter of hearing. He completely ignores me.

      • if he is not eating, out on a walk, or tearing up a stuffy, he is unhappy. He lays and will now and then sneezes or sighs.

      • he has always had this problem where, a sudden loud noise will deeply disturb him. He will shake uncontrollably, and any attempt to soothe him, by talking to him or touching him, just makes him shake worse.

      • he hounds me for food. The moment I touched something in the kitchen, he comes.

      • I have gotten him several bowls to try slowing down his eating, but he eats like he’s starving. So I have to feed him in small bits, and if the bits are spread apart too far, he starts shaking like he’s being neglected. I have had him tested for diabetes or other issues, his blood work comes back normal.

      • he always wants to sleep in my bed, but he does not want me to touch him. If we are sleeping back to back and our hips touch, he gets off the bed. And then he gets back on as soon as he sees a decent opportunity. we used to share the bed, because I have had a California king size bed by myself, and it was fine. But in the last year, it’s just like he hates it.

      I have come to hate the sound of his collar jingling. I have nasty thoughts like waiting for the relief of him passing away. Sometime I have an aggressive voice, but I really do always try to keep my voice light and keep his tailwagging in my interactions with him. I’m sure he can sense my agitation though. It has become overwhelming. I don’t enjoy a single moment of our life together.

      And I have to work and he needs to be walked several times a day and he will shake if he feels like he’s being neglected in that aspect, so when I have to go run errands, I take him with me, but I can never get anywhere because not only is he naturally slow. He has developed this instinct of lagging behind and he wants to stop and smell everything and it’s just annoying to have to constantly crouch down and Argue with him to get him to move his body. I don’t feel comfortable, forcing him to move, especially because of his arthritis.

      Like I said, he used to have good training, but it has all fallen by the wayside and he is old and stubborn.

      But this cannot continue. I Don’t believe either of us are happy. I would like some advice on how to effectively train him in the time that I have, I do not have the money to hire a trainer. I also ask that you handle your responses gently; I am extremely upset by this and I am aware of how shitty it sounds of me to speak of him so poorly, but my mental health is falling apart because of the lack of freedom and relaxation that I can find living with him.

      I have no intention of rehoming him, and have always been committed to his safety, and comfort and mental and physical happiness. if I rehomed him, it would haunt me, it would devastate me. But I would do it if I believed he would be happier. But I don’t believe he would be, I have left him with my parents and other people in the past, and he just waits vigilantly for me to return.

      Edit: I also want to say that I am open to advice on how I can manage myself and my feelings about this

      33 votes
    13. What programming/technical projects have you been working on?

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's...

      This is a recurring post to discuss programming or other technical projects that we've been working on. Tell us about one of your recent projects, either at work or personal projects. What's interesting about it? Are you having trouble with anything?

      13 votes
    14. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like anaphylaxis, customers and tim walz. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like anaphylaxis, customers and tim walz. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was overly fussed.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      16 votes
    15. Looking for adventure(-ish) games to play alongside my 8 years old

      I'm looking for games that I can play and enjoy with my 8 years old son. It doesn't need to be a 2-players game, or even a game that he can play (though if he can take the controller and get...

      I'm looking for games that I can play and enjoy with my 8 years old son. It doesn't need to be a 2-players game, or even a game that he can play (though if he can take the controller and get actively involved, that's better), but just something that he can enjoy as a "backseat player". We have a Switch, a PC, and a PS4.

      tl;dr: "backseatable" adventure-ish games with exploration and a clear direction (different sights to see, and a sense of progression), puzzles (so he feels involved when exchanging ideas), ok with light horror. Low stakes, low stress.

      Here are some games that we played together and both liked:

      • Outer Wilds: loved it so much we did 2 playthroughs in 2 years. He liked the sights, the exploration/treasure hunt aspect, the puzzles, and he asked me questions about our universe and solar system. He was mostly passive as a player both times we played, but we were sharing ideas and he was making suggestions on what to do/where to go next.
      • Link's Awakening remake: we played this one when he was 6 years old, with me taking the lead for the bosses or more complicated puzzles. We finished it together.
      • Stanley Parable: I intended to play it alone, but unexpectedly he really liked watching me play.
      • Strange Horticulture, Grim Fandango, Day of the Tentacle: he liked solving the puzzles with me, and me explaining/narrating what was happening and why.
      • Portal 1 & 2: he was able to play on his own with some help, and the coop levels in Portal 2 were great.
      • Deep Rock Galactic: he's making his own story and narrating along while I (and sometimes random players) play normally.
      • Human Fall Flat: he loves the slapstick humor and finds better (and more creative) solutions than I do
      • Mario Odyssey: probably his GOAT game, the accessibility features helped him a lot to play and enjoy it alone.

      He's also taking an interest in light horror (specifically mascot horror) games:

      • Garten of Banban series: objectively bad games but he really enjoyed the progression, light puzzles, and the liminal level design.
      • Indigo Park: much better production value, mostly a walking sim, but very short.
      • The Complex: a free "Backrooms" game. He didn't play it since he wasn't yet comfortable with mouse and keyboard controls, but liked watching me explore around
      • Crow Country (demo): he backseated and enjoyed it. There's an "exploration mode" that removes enemies. Will probably buy the full game later.

      And some "failed" tentatives:

      • Tunic: since he liked Link's Awakening, I thought he might like Tunic, but no. Probably because of a lack of NPCs or clear indications, and the game is too difficult for him. Not fun to backseat.
      • Zelda BOTW: he tried to play it when he was a bit too young, and had a hard time with it. I'll probably try again soon.
      • Minecraft Dungeons: we played 2-3 games but he got bored of it very quickly.
      • Diablo 3: he saw me playing and wanted to try it. He liked it much more than Minecraft Dungeons but hated seeing villagers getting turned into zombies, so we stopped here.
      • Sandboxes: not his thing (Minecraft, Terraria, No Man's Sky, Animal Crossing)

      So in summary, I highlighted the best experiences we had (with Outer Wilds being the best), and I'm looking for something equivalent.

      EDIT - I'll try to keep this post up-to-date with the suggestions we liked:

      • Superliminal: Excellent, I wasn't expecting such a good game. He's managing most of it alone, and there's even a (harmless) "scary" section
      • Untitled Goose Game: Great suggestion. We actually already played it (not to completion), and he loves honking and absolutely not helping me complete the objectives 😅
      • Layton series: I think he tried the first one on my DS for an hour or two. I'll suggest it again and be the backseat player myself.
      • Luigi's Mansion 3: GOTY
      28 votes
    16. Who here leaves a review?

      I'm in the top 5% of Google reviewers in the UK, according to those lovely emails they send me. I'm also quite a big reviewer on TripAdvisor. Who else here leaves reviews? If you do, are you...

      I'm in the top 5% of Google reviewers in the UK, according to those lovely emails they send me. I'm also quite a big reviewer on TripAdvisor.

      Who else here leaves reviews? If you do, are you simply factual or comical, a bit of both? Do you do the Positive then Negative, or in reverse? Do you use pics and videos?

      Basically, what's your preferred style?

      26 votes
    17. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      6 votes
    18. What have you been watching / reading this week? (Anime/Manga)

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was...

      What have you been watching and reading this week? You don't need to give us a whole essay if you don't want to, but please write something! Feel free to talk about something you saw that was cool, something that was bad, ask for recommendations, or anything else you can think of.

      If you want to, feel free to find the thing you're talking about and link to its pages on Anilist, MAL, or any other database you use!

      7 votes
    19. TV Tuesdays Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      6 votes
    20. I seem to have a much different, worse experience of Dragonflight's story than most WoW players—why?

      A bit of background before I get to the main body of the post. I've been following Warcraft's story since Warcraft III came out. It was a wonderful experience of my childhood, and I was interested...

      A bit of background before I get to the main body of the post.

      I've been following Warcraft's story since Warcraft III came out. It was a wonderful experience of my childhood, and I was interested in the story's progression since then. Even though I haven't played WoW personally until last few years, I read the comics and books, and I read about the lore. Chatted with friends who played the game.

      Near the very end of Legion I started the game (2018), and Battle for Azeroth was my first real experience of the game. I played a demon hunter night elf, and I didn't have a problem with the story at the time. I thought the burning of Teldrassil set up the conflict well, and I found the world fascinating. Of course, it was heavily colored by me finally being able to play the game after almost 2 decades. I was also a night elf fan since my childhood, so I looked at things mainly from the perspective of Alliance. Story-wise, my major problems were that N'zoth and Azshara were defeated too quickly, and Tyrande's ritual transformation should've had resulted in much more of an impact.

      I now know that the experience for Horde players was much different. But roleplaying as a demon hunter night elf suited the BfA story very well. I had just come out of a long battle against demons to find my people burned to death, their land destroyed. Vengeance, once again, fueled me.

      Come Shadowlands, and like most people, I found that the story to took a steep dive in quality. I don't think I need to elaborate, but I will touch upon the main points. The afterlife was extremely unimaginative and made death lose its impact, the conclusion of Sylvanas's story was extremely unsatisfactory, Jailer was all kinds of bad writing, and Tyrande's arc was a major letdown.

      Coming to the main issue. With the release of Dragonflight two years ago, and seeing how much people praised it, after a month or two passed I bought the expac and joined the adventure. However, despite all the letdowns of Shadowlands, I found the Dragonflight story to be the most unengaging one I've experienced. I just didn't care about the dragons and their personal arcs. Every word that came out of the major characters was such a cheesy and cliche line. In the cinematics, every one of them, especially Alexstrasza, talked so slowly and artifically that it threw me off every time. I just couldn't take it seriously.

      There is only one memorable moment I remember from Dragonflight, and it's that one dragon in dwarven form that tells you his story while you sit down and listen for a few minutes. It was a really touching and tragic story, but it was just a very minor interaction.

      I have no problems with personal stories or more touching subjects being told in video games. In fact, I think they can be wonderful. So, that wasn't the part that bothered me. What bothered me was that dragon aspects felt extremely one-dimensional and same-y, and their story was like a poorly written Disney story about the importance of family. Because it was handled badly, it especially felt jarring and out of place in the world of Warcraft, where violence and war crimes are rampant.

      Yet, many players seem to have enjoyed the story because it was more "down to earth". I have trouble with this, because I have trouble understanding how people found this story to be engaging at all. For example, when Amirdrassil arc concluded, I didn't feel anything. In fact, it just made the burning of Teldrassil feel hollow for me, because I felt like that dramatic turn of events didn't matter at all. Night elves had a world tree and a home again, as if nothing happened. This retroactively made the story worse for me. At that moment, I realized I had stopped caring about WoW's story and was forcing myself to care. I decided to stop playing, at least for a while, because story and lore were the main reasons I played.

      This, however, led me to a question. I've been following r/wow for some years, and the general opinion there is that Dragonflight's story was well done. My experience is the opposite, as it was the most unengaging story experience for me.

      I have considered several possible explanations for why people reacted so positively to the story of Dragonflight.

      • The one-upping of threat levels and villains in Shadowlands left a really sour taste, especially because it was handled so badly and retroactively undermined a lot of stories. So a relatively tame threat and villains were welcomed.
      • Since the "gameplay" part of the expac was received well, this put people in a positive mood and led them to interpret the story charitably. This might go the opposite way too. For example, both BfA and SL were also criticized heavily for gameplay reasons.
      • The expectations for WoW's story are really low, and that's why longtime players that are still playing don't mid the stuff that bothered me. In other words, they adjust their expectations. People who didn't adjust left.
      • People don't actually pay much attention to story, they are mainly interested in raids and other combat-centric parts of the game, or even cosmetics. So, when discussing the story, they mostly go with the prevailing vibes and opinions of the community.

      I think all of these play some part in the explanation, but I came up with these explanations based on my own experience. I also can't assess their relative importance. For the reasons, I thought I could benefit from a wider array of opinions, especially from people that have or had been involved in the game and community for longer than me.

      So, my questions are;

      • Why do you think Dragonflight's story was received so positively?
      • Why don't people seem to care about the aspects I mentioned?
      13 votes
    21. Which content-recommending algorithms are actually good?

      For the end-user, that is. I'm sure Meta and the like think their algorithms are fantastic at what they want them to do. I find myself routinely asking why I get so many suggestions I have no...

      For the end-user, that is. I'm sure Meta and the like think their algorithms are fantastic at what they want them to do.

      I find myself routinely asking why I get so many suggestions I have no interest in when using all types of websites. I haven't used social media since the early years of Facebook, but I imagine most recommendation algorithms are tuned much like the ones on those sites, i.e. to offer more of the same, whereas I'd prefer something to introduce different stuff I'd probably like. Maybe that differentiates me from the average user, but there should be enough people like me that it'd be factored in, no? Just because I watch a cat video doesn't mean I'm all in on cats.

      I mostly like Pandora's service but it feels like their music library isn't huge for my fav genres. Steam regularly tries to interest me in the most insipid games based on superficial commonalities to what's already in my library. Youtube can be good, but it can easily be echo-chambery. Shopping websites of all sorts are usually a crapshoot. What gives?

      28 votes
    22. Self-hosting a podcast server

      I am wanting to setup a personal podcast server but I am not really sure how to go about that. I have my own server at home with docker and I am not sure if there are any well-known FOSS...

      I am wanting to setup a personal podcast server but I am not really sure how to go about that.

      I have my own server at home with docker and I am not sure if there are any well-known FOSS (preferable dockerized) podcast server applications that I can spin up and load some podcast episodes into so that I can create my own custom podcast feed that only I would subscribe to?

      and I want to be able to support video podcasts.

      17 votes
    23. Buy burned land

      Tis fire season again here in North America and Europe. From my house in coastal California I grieve every year as more of my favorite forests burn, from British Columbia to California. There is...

      Tis fire season again here in North America and Europe. From my house in coastal California I grieve every year as more of my favorite forests burn, from British Columbia to California.

      There is no end in sight for this transition. So what can we do to at least mitigate the worst of its effects? I think the time to play defense over pure "wilderness" is long gone. The forests that haven't burned are still beautiful, but they're riddled with disease and so overgrown the ecosystems are permanently distorted.

      Every year there is less pristine forest and more burned land. I'm a fourth generation Californian and the Portuguese side of the family still owns a ranch in the foothills from 1893. But I own nothing and the prospect of being able to afford land in California has forever been beyond my reach. Burned land needs to be rehabilitated in a thoughtful manner. I'm hoping once my daughter finishes college and our life starts a new chapter, that I can find a few acres where I can make the best environmental impact, such as a headwaters, then invite experts onto the land to teach me how to best heal it.

      Every year I have this idea, and every year more areas become available (in the worst sense). I don't need to live on this land. I don't expect it to be much more than grasses and saplings for 20 years. I'd get out to it one or two weekends a month, rent some equipment and hire some folks as I could. I also understand that my original thought that this would be immune from future fire seasons is wrong. But at least the land can be designed to be as fire resistant as possible, with a clear understory and single large trees. And that is another part of the allure. This acreage would come with its own challenges for sure, but in some sense it is a blank slate. The permaculture people could show us how to remediate and reconstruct the land from the bones up.

      I know this project would be an aggravating money sink, and even perhaps an unrealistic and irresponsible fantasy by someone untrained in forestry management. But there is so much burned land now. Every year another giant 4% stripe of California goes up in smoke. Yet this idea just doesn't catch on. It entails a lot of patience and work. I know it's not what most people want to hear. They want their idyllic cabin in Tahoe or nothing. But that time is quickly coming to an end and learning how to revive the forests that have been devastated is our only real choice.

      Whenever I've tried to get serious about this, though, I learn that there is no market in burned land because there is hardly any profit to be made. No real estate agent that I can find is specializing in this because their clients are having to sell ruined land and burned buildings for pennies on the dollar. I've been advised that the best way is to find a specific spot, do my research, and approach the owner directly. But, again, there is so much burned land now I hardly know where to start. The Santa Cruz Mountains? The Sierra adjacent to Yosemite? Crater Lake in Oregon?

      Any thoughts or ideas or resources would be appreciated.

      25 votes
    24. What is the motivation to keep sending Benajmin Netanyahu military aide while the Gaza crisis continues?

      I hope it is kosher to post this under ~talk. I know people are sick of this topic, so I put plenty of tags in to help those not interested avoid seeing this thread. FWIW, you can go into your...

      I hope it is kosher to post this under ~talk. I know people are sick of this topic, so I put plenty of tags in to help those not interested avoid seeing this thread. FWIW, you can go into your Settings and enter keywords to filter threads on ( via tags ).

      To my question.

      Netanyahu has been killing people with no means of defense.

      What is President Biden's motivation to keep sending military aide to Israel while Netanyahu continues to do this?

      I have a few guesses, but none of them on their own or together seems to justify the political or humanitarian costs:

      1. Somehow it is in the geopolitical interest of the U.S. to do so
      2. Israel would be destroyed without military aide ( but defensive weapons can still be sent )
      3. The U.S. benefits from Israeli intelligence
      4. Congressional republicans aligned with Christian Nationlists want to see Israel live out a Biblical prophesy and it would cost President Biden politically if he were to push a decrease in military aide - assuming he could.
      5. President Biden might have lost Jewish American votes, BUT Jews are a minority in America and many American Jews are against what Netanyahu is doing.

      Those are the possibilities I could come up with. Am I missing anything? All of these possibilities together do not seem to be worth the political cost President Biden incurred. Is there something I missed?

      23 votes
    25. Fitness Weekly Discussion

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started...

      What have you been doing lately for your own fitness? Try out any new programs or exercises? Have any questions for others about your training? Want to vent about poor behavior in the gym? Started a new diet or have a new recipe you want to share? Anything else health and wellness related?

      7 votes
    26. What have you been listening to this week?

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as...

      What have you been listening to this week? You don't need to do a 6000 word review if you don't want to, but please write something! If you've just picked up some music, please update on that as well, we'd love to see your hauls :)

      Feel free to give recs or discuss anything about each others' listening habits.

      You can make a chart if you use last.fm:

      http://www.tapmusic.net/lastfm/

      Remember that linking directly to your image will update with your future listening, make sure to reupload to somewhere like imgur if you'd like it to remain what you have at the time of posting.

      10 votes
    27. Offbeat Fridays – The thread where offbeat headlines become front page news

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like kamala harris, ublock.origin and power stations.nuclear. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven...

      Tildes is a very serious site, where we discuss very serious matters like kamala harris, ublock.origin and power stations.nuclear. Tags culled from the highest voted topics from the last seven days, if anyone was keeping score.

      But one of my favourite tags happens to be offbeat! Taking its original inspiration from Sir Nils Olav III, this thread is looking for any far-fetched offbeat stories lurking in the newspapers. It may not deserve its own post, but it deserves a wider audience!

      15 votes
    28. Looking for an Android keyboard app

      Hello friends, and thank you in advance for any help on this topic. I am looking for an android keyboard that does not have emoji, stickers or gifs, but also has long press options for special...

      Hello friends, and thank you in advance for any help on this topic.

      I am looking for an android keyboard that does not have emoji, stickers or gifs, but also has long press options for special characters like dashes, slashes and colons etc.

      Searching online for variants of "no emoji keyboard," only floods my results with the opposite and it's beyond frustrating!

      I realize that the answer is likely right under my nose and I'm just missing it for whatever reason.

      I would glady pay money for such an option if only I could find one.

      I'm sorry if this question is silly or posted in the wrong thread, but I'm at my wits end.

      Again, thank you for any help or redirection to my query!

      Cheers!

      28 votes
    29. Advice for networking at a conference?

      So in about two weeks I'll be at a conference for a career path that I've been trying my best to get into for two years. It's a bit niche, having an overlap with science, tech and IT. As such this...

      So in about two weeks I'll be at a conference for a career path that I've been trying my best to get into for two years. It's a bit niche, having an overlap with science, tech and IT.

      As such this conference represents opportunity for me, and given how low my morale is after rejection after rejection after rejection, something I really hope to see some result from.

      Does anyone have any tips on how to network at such a conference?

      22 votes
    30. History book recommendations

      Hey all, I'm trying to get into reading historical books - I have a broad range of interests and would be open to trying anything. The only thing that bothers me is when the author is very clearly...

      Hey all, I'm trying to get into reading historical books - I have a broad range of interests and would be open to trying anything. The only thing that bothers me is when the author is very clearly pushing an agenda. For example, last year I read Band of Brothers which I really enjoyed, but I felt there was quite a bit of American propaganda mixed in which detracted from the historical aspect.

      I typically read more fantasy/scifi novels:

      Examples of some of my favorite fiction series:

      • Dune
      • Mistborn Trilogy by Sanderson
      • Cradle series by Will Wight
      • progression fantasy in general
      • LOTR
      • Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

      I'm interested in more historical novels because i've listened to a handful of excellent history podcasts and think I would enjoy getting closer to the source, but I've been struggling to pick a book because I'm afraid of choosing one that is too dry.

      Podcasts I enjoyed:

      • History of Rome by Mike Duncan
      • Revolutions by Mike Duncan
      • Hardcore History by Dan carlin

      Please give me some recommendations!

      17 votes
    31. Midweek Movie Free Talk

      Warning: this post may contain spoilers

      Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.

      Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.

      8 votes
    32. What game do you consider an unconventional masterpiece?

      There are games that people can generally agree are masterpieces due to their eminent quality and cultural impact. I'm interested in ones that fall outside those lines: a game that you consider a...

      There are games that people can generally agree are masterpieces due to their eminent quality and cultural impact.

      I'm interested in ones that fall outside those lines: a game that you consider a legitimate masterpiece but, for whatever reason, isn't necessarily widely seen as such. Maybe it's because it's very niche; maybe it's because its amazing systems and story are sold by underwhelming graphics; maybe it's because the game did something so different or unique that people don't appreciate it as much relative to other games. Maybe it's something else entirely!

      Let us know what game you think is an unconventional masterpiece and, most importantly: why.

      56 votes
    33. The Library at Mount Char is a fantasy horror thriller fast paced ride of a book

      Has anyone else read this book? Without spoilers (or hiding them) what did you think? The closest I have read to this is Gaiman's American Gods but the pace is much faster and more intense. I want...

      Has anyone else read this book? Without spoilers (or hiding them) what did you think?

      The closest I have read to this is Gaiman's American Gods but the pace is much faster and more intense. I want to reread the first half to see what I missed because I didn't know what was going on.

      15 votes
    34. Recommendations for smart temperature sensors

      It's hot here in Germany at the moment, and I've found a new hobby: experimenting with different ways to keep the flat cool. Unfortunately, right now I'm doing that mostly on gut feeling, and I'd...

      It's hot here in Germany at the moment, and I've found a new hobby: experimenting with different ways to keep the flat cool. Unfortunately, right now I'm doing that mostly on gut feeling, and I'd like to add some data to the mix so I can pretend that this is Serious Research™.

      Does anyone know of some good smart thermometers that I can use both inside and out, and that I can regularly take automatic readings off? My main criteria are roughly:

      • Reasonably waterproof and battery-powered - I'd like to put at least one on my balcony which isn't covered, so I want to be confident that it survives out there.
      • Relatively cheap - I want around 4-6 different thermometers spread around the inside and outside of the flat to see how the sun's position affects the temperature, and I don't want to spend more than around 100€ on this project in total.
      • Scriptable - for the data collection, my plan is to be able to run a script on a spare Raspberry Pi to download all of the data and potentially send alerts when something changes or when it makes sense to start opening doors and windows to cool the flat down.
      • Not too complicated - looking around, some thermometers seem to require smart hubs and online accounts and things. Ideally, I can avoid all that - I want something that I can connect to from my home network and download data from as I need.

      Right now, I've found a few different smart temperature sensors that I can buy off-the-shelf, but these seem to be on the more complicated end of the spectrum, and require central hubs and uploading all the data to clouds and things like that. Ideally I can avoid that. Alternatively, I have some RPi Pico boards at home, so if I can buy some sensors that I can connect to those, I could get those set up more simply. But with the DIY route, I'm worried about weatherproofing, especially if the temperature sensor needs to remain fairly exposed for an accurate reading.

      So: do you have any recommendations either for simple smart sensors that I can buy, or for sensors that I could easily stick to a Pico and leave outside for at least the rest of the summer months?

      15 votes
    35. What creative projects have you been working on?

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on. Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just...

      This topic is part of a series. It is meant to be a place for users to discuss creative projects they have been working on.

      Projects can be personal, professional, physical, digital, or even just ideas.

      If you have any creative projects that you have been working on or want to eventually work on, this is a place for discussing those.

      10 votes
    36. How do you respond to sentimental gifts or requests from aging loved ones?

      The topic has been on my mind lately and I'm thinking through my feelings. I'd appreciate hearing others' experiences and opinions to help with my approach. For context, I have several close...

      The topic has been on my mind lately and I'm thinking through my feelings. I'd appreciate hearing others' experiences and opinions to help with my approach.

      For context, I have several close family members, including a parent, approaching retirement age. As they've been getting their affairs in order, I've been finding myself the recipient of either gifts or posthumous requests, which are sentimental to them but not me.

      Its nothing outrageous. Examples of gifts are things like little decorations/mementos/childhood crafts, long held by them but which I've never seen before. In terms of requests, think along the lines of: I'd really love for you to learn X instrument because you're musical, or I'd love for you to take care of X income-generating hobby I started but you like (Im being a little vague).

      I want to respect their feelings (even when I'm not overly sentimental) and help them feel comfortable as they get older, but I want also don't want to outright lie (eg, requests I can't promise to keep) or accrue things that, to me, are clutter.

      How have you approached this, or similar scenarios with aging or dying loved ones? Did your opinions or feelings change as they continued to age or passed?

      23 votes
    37. Pool care help

      Update: I found the issue! Stupidly, I had listened to the advice of YouTubers and Amazon reviews. In my sand filter, I had used the woolen balls. Even though I had been performing the cycle and...

      Update:
      I found the issue!

      Stupidly, I had listened to the advice of YouTubers and Amazon reviews. In my sand filter, I had used the woolen balls. Even though I had been performing the cycle and flush, dumping the water, the woolen balls were not clean, they were green and completely swamped in algae.

      I took them out, rinsed, sat them in some diluted bleach and rinsed again. I cleaned the filter thoroughly. Upon putting it all back together, throwing in some shock and giving it a few hours, along with a 1/5 pool water dump and replace, it's looking clear again.

      Thank you for all of the advice. I'll move to sand in the near future so the rinse and dump cycles actually work.

      Original message:
      I wasn't sure which group to shove this in, I went for home improvement as this needs serious improvement.

      To be honest, with how green it is, maybe enviro would have been even better.

      I have an above ground 5800l pool, which I put up during the summer for the kids. This year I decided to go with Bromine in a float. I'm using the standard slow disjsolve capsules from Everclear. I chose Bromine as one of the kids has quite sensitive skin. I started out with the winder float, 6 tabs slowly dissolving. I gave it a couple of days and realised I didn't have strips to test, so I ordered some.

      In this time, with lots of abuse, a very warm season for England and probably half a metric ton of sun cream, the water was looking a bit cloudy. No biggy, the great Flow Clear 800Gal/h sand filter would be helping... It didn't seem to be. The water went from cloudy to slightly green at the bottom. The algae was arriving.

      I dipped a stick: bromine didn't even register. Hmmm. I ordered a second float and some algaecide to attack the issue. Two days later, we have 12 tabs in two floats, enough algaecide to clear the Amazon river (I jest), and I leave it to clear. The following day, it's less cloudy, still green tinted and bromine still does not register on the sticks.

      Over today's use, it's gotten worse. I've ordered chlorine tabs instead because the bromine is not working. It should have worked. Does anyone know where I went wrong?

      Tomorrow, I'll dump half the water (over 2000l down the drain), change the tablets over to chlorine, throw in some more algaecide and let the pump keep on pumping. Hopefully, as it refills, I should get some nice clear water that doesn't have a pH of near 9.

      11 votes
    38. Let's hear some Tabletop RPG stories!

      I absolutely LOVE hearing other's stories from their games. Crazy things happen in game land, and these kinds of tales inspire others to play and experiment as well. Some of my favorite moments My...

      I absolutely LOVE hearing other's stories from their games. Crazy things happen in game land, and these kinds of tales inspire others to play and experiment as well.

      Some of my favorite moments
      1. My group had a guy - Thorgrimm - who was extremely impulsive and often did whatever first came to mind. It was often hilarious as the DM to play out, but alarming as a player to deal with. One such time, the group was face-to-face with a large host of Inquisitors (read: super soldiers) from another realm. They were in an anti-magic field, outmatched and outnumbered. Not to be deterred, Thorgrimm decides to parlay in his usual bombastic style, and one of the inquisitors silenced him (there were ways around the anti-magic field which had not been fully explored yet by the party). Thorgrimm took offense to this and attacked, alone, against 30+ inquisitors. The rest of the party distanced themselves from him. Well, Throgrimm got absolutely wrecked but was somehow clinging to life with a handful of HP. He then conveniently remembered his gimmick Wish spell, that I had given the party some time ago (I considered it a funny thing to do, I've been told I create a lot of trap items). With the party screaming at him not to, he used up the Wish spell to get them out of jail free.
      2. Which brings us to my second favorite moment... The group teleported back to their employer, The Wizard Who Did It (TM), known as Nobb. He had contracted them to retrieve an artifact of great power (Dymlingen Dire, a knife so sharp it can cut you if you look at it). The party bard, Jarl, thought this was crazy cool and wanted to keep the knife. Nobb said "Yes, as long as you forfeit all other rewards for this contract." Jarl readily agreed, while the rest of the party was distracted by arguing over Throgrimm's decision earlier. Suddenly, all the amazing items they had found over the last several adventures while in Nobb's employ disappeared. Jarl, in forfeiting the reward, had given up the rights to owning those items. The party was LIVID. Jarl's Player thought it was hilarious and one of the other Player's, a lawyer, began searching for loopholes. In the end, many of the PC's made more bargains with Nobb in order to receive their items back, meaning they had worked for him at great length and somehow become even more indebted to him... Which is totally perfect since Nobb would secretly turn out to be Loki, trying to kick off Ragnarok.
      26 votes
    39. Struggling with nihilism and the inability to enjoy things

      Preface #1: I know the first response with something like this will be "go see a therapist" - I have been in therapy for over a decade now. There are a lot of things it has helped with...

      Preface #1: I know the first response with something like this will be "go see a therapist" - I have been in therapy for over a decade now. There are a lot of things it has helped with (specifically trauma-focused), but nihilism is not something I've been able to get help with. The help has ranged from things like "focus on the micro over the macro" (which I think is probably the best advice, but also can be boiled down to "don't think" and I can't not think), to "find religion" (for me at least: religion doesn't breed hope, hope breeds religion), to "I don't know how to help, I can't relate to that" (...not all therapist are good).

      Preface #2: I know the quick response to "life is meaningless" is "so make your own!" but I absolutely despise that logic. If everything is meaningless, than that means making your own meaning is meaningless. It's self-defeating in and of itself. That said, I don't really care about "meaning" anyway. I personally view things as "irrelevant", as if you dig deep enough you get to a point where everything is relevant to nothing. And the conclusion to draw from that is: "it's irrelevant that everything is irrelevant" - similar meaning, but checks out logically significantly better to me. But this has it's own problems that I will go in below.

      Preface #3: I know the quick response to the inability to enjoy things is "you don't enjoy things because you are depressed." What I'm positing is the inverse, "I no longer enjoy things, and it's causing me to be depressed." I'm very much not saying the former doesn't happen and I've gone through time periods like that. What I am saying is that the latter is also true, and I'm sure that other people who have dealt with depression for decades understands both "My depression is causing this to happen" and "This is causing my depression to flare" happen.


      To give quick context for myself: I had become a nihilistic atheist by the time I graduated elementary school; I had a rather traumatic childhood and my official diagnosis is (C-)PTSD and all the offshoots that come from it like depression and anxiety (Bringing up as I recognize myself these are thoughts that, according to the DSM/ICD, would be from someone with mental disorders). This led to things like dropping out of high school and becoming a mute hikikomori. To make a long story short, in my late teens I got to a point of either suicide or completely revamping my life with the belief that enjoyment could be found via actually being social (friends and dating) and proper self-sufficiency/money. I chose the latter for one simple reason: there was nothing to lose, so just trust the process. It took over a decade of constant self improvement, but I became a sociable person part of different clubs and hosting my own parties/gatherings with a very active dating life. I also got my degree in comp sci and have done quite well for myself with that. And a lot on top of that just in terms of trying to make the most out of life.

      Unfortunately, none of that actually helped. Having to mask to be able to be social/date is exhausting and frankly people suck, and wasting life working 9-5 one of the most depressing things to me. The reason I bring this up is because I did really fucking try, I tried the stuff that everyone says brings happiness - but it don't. And it's all just so irrelevant.

      Over the last half decade or so, I just can't bring myself to care about anything. And I mean anything, even super simple things. I'll talk to people or listening to a song and think "why do I care what you have to say?". I'll watch a movie or read a book and can't keep focus because seriously who cares about these imaginary things some person thought up? People I know die and I'll just think "yeah that happens." And the absolute worst for me was when it came for knowledge. Because knowledge was the thing I always cared above all else. But what does "knowing things" matter if "things" don't matter to me?

      Which brings me back to preface #2. Everything is irrelevant, but it's irrelevant that it's irrelevant. Except that society demands relevancy to justify ones own existence within it. It's not possible to live an irrelevant life and be part of society. I personally really only see two options: reject society or embrace absurdism.

      Speaking strictly personally, I do not see rejecting society as a means of living an enjoyable life. Mostly because I know it will lead to me living out of my car again, spending my time embracing hedonism via drugs and alcohol to fuel escapism until the end comes. And if in the end I'm just going to fuel escapism, why not just escape to begin with?

      Absurdism is mostly what I fed into while "turning my life around". But I do have issues with it. One is how much it feels like the "this is fine" fire meme; it recognizes the problem but then rejects that it's a problem. This is fine if "life" itself is not a problem and you are able to enjoy your time regardless (after all, the problem itself is irrelevant so yeah just reject it as a problem), but then that gets to my second and main issue: if you don't enjoy life, what defense against suicide does absurdism have? Yes there is the whole thing of "suicide just adds to the absurdity by claiming meaning is needed" but that's only if you are committing suicide because life has no meaning. I don't care that life is irrelevant, I care that life fucking sucks. Suicide then is not rejecting the lack of meaning, it's rejecting time spent unenjoyably.

      I've been able to get through things being both meaningless and unenjoyable with the belief that things would become enjoyable. Now I'm nearly 40 years old, things have played out, and I do not buy into it anymore. Either life needs to be enjoyable, or there needs to be some relevancy to it. Which, I reject the later as even being knowable as a human. Which leaves the former.

      Which then comes to the silly question, how do you just enjoy things?

      I am able to recognize one of my issues with enjoying things: In order to raise my emotional floor, I have embraced being stoic. Things happen that are out of our control. Things are lost, hardships are had, people die. They are simply facts of life. The problem is that it also prevents enjoying things - enjoyable things are also out of your control, so do not embrace them for they will be gone. Which, moments in time then neither "good" or "bad", they simple are just moments in time. Every moment is simply some indefinite, irrelevant moment in time.

      Which, kind of tied to that as well, but another issue I recognize: as I have understood my own trauma and how it's affected me, I've really understood just how much is deterministic in life. Which is especially sad in the case of trauma responses, and how much society basically double downs on the trauma (just easy eg of how "hysterical women" have been treated throughout history, but look at the overlap of BPD and traumatic childhoods).

      But now these are not just moments in time, but determined yet irrelevant moments in time.

      But that still doesn't preclude enjoying things. And I guess that's mostly what I'm for the search for in life, to figure out what things I actually enjoy/how to actually enjoy things I want to enjoy. Because enjoying life is certainly enough, but that requires life to be enjoyable.

      And it's actually part of why I'm even posting this. With all the different ways I've changed my life and such, I've tried to look back at what was actually enjoyable. And long-form text communication is definitely the way I prefer to communicate (oh do I miss when 'social media' was forums). I also recognize the importance of being part of more smaller, tighter-knit communities compared to being a blob in a mass. So it's part looking for help, and part just trying to get back into posting on smaller communities.

      But I also feel like I'm all over the place and I do apologize for that. I think to try to summarize to bring the points clearer...like I said before, life either needs to be enjoyable or there needs to be some kind of relevancy to it. So either how do you find relevancy/where am I wrong on that, or how do you find enjoyment (and I don't mean "try new hobbies until you find what you enjoy!" kind of stuff - I've already ran that gauntlet. I'm not asking where to find enjoyment, I'm asking how to feel enjoyment; how are you able to care about things might be a better war to phrase it)?

      34 votes
    40. Does anyone have experience working as an independent researcher?

      Ive been working in engineering for a few years now. Ive gotten pretty good at my job, and Ive learned a lot. But it was never really my intention to work at a big corporation my whole life. When...

      Ive been working in engineering for a few years now. Ive gotten pretty good at my job, and Ive learned a lot. But it was never really my intention to work at a big corporation my whole life.

      When I was a kid, on TV there were all these scientists and researchers who just had money to do research somehow. They didnt go to an office or go to meetings, they just had funding somehow to go do science stuff. There was often a big lab built right into their home so they could just wake up and tinker around with stuff. That was the dream for me growing up.

      I could always just keep working where I am now, but I cant really do the kind of research I want within the normal structured environment that big companies want me to work in. I want to work on a difficult problem that I would expect to take years of experimentation before I would even hope of making any big breakthroughs.

      Im wondering if anyone here has ever done any kind of work as an independent researcher. Like, living off grant money or something like that. Ive been looking at SBIR/STTR grants as a possible first step, but that would only get me 3 years, and after that Id need to find a continued income source.

      17 votes