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24 votes
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How do you build lasting habits?
I have tried installing apps, logging my days, writing on a piece of paper etc. Everything looks perfect while planning. I over optimize even before I have had experience doing/forming a habit and...
I have tried installing apps, logging my days, writing on a piece of paper etc. Everything looks perfect while planning. I over optimize even before I have had experience doing/forming a habit and then lose all focus soon enough. Planning and execution in the short term goes almost flawlessly, but I always fail to be consistent over longer terms which is when the "effects"/"benefits" of the habit would be reaped.
I would love how do you mindfully and purposefully spend time building habits? How to get on track when you eventually slip away due to any number of circumstances?
39 votes -
What are you reading these days?
What are you reading currently? Fiction or non-fiction or poetry, any genre, any language! Tell us what you're reading, and talk about it a bit.
46 votes -
Looking for short beard and face care tips
I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health...
I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health component of this condition already, but a better hair and skin care regiment could help reduce the triggers that start me plucking hairs.
I keep my beard relatively close cropped to my face. When the hairs in my bald patches start to regrow there is typically a lot of irritation which starts me touching my face, which leads me to find bumps like zits and blackheads and “weird hairs”, like kinky hairs, hairs growing in the wrong direction, particularly hard or soft hairs, anything that feels off when I run my fingers over them. This has the side effect of depositing more dirt and oils from my fingers onto my face, which creates a kind of feedback loop where the dirtier my face is the more I want to touch it, and the more I touch it the dirtier it gets. When I encounter these bumps and weird hairs I will want to pick at them and I won’t stop thinking about it until I do. It is a real struggle that I am working through and I figure if I can reduce that irritation that triggers it I’ll be less likely to touch and therefore pluck.
What I am hoping to find here are general care tips I can use for my short-cropped beard. What kind of products do you use for both the hairs themselves and your face, what methods do you use to trim, etc.? Currently I wash my face with a cleanser, followed by a toner, then a serum or lotion, but I don’t use any products specifically for my beard hairs themselves. I trim with an electric razor when my beard is between .5 and 1 inches long and I’ll trim it down to about 1/8 of an inch, or whatever setting 7, 8, or 9 is on my razor.
17 votes -
How often do you go through your bookmarks/favorites?
I recently switch browsers from Safari to Orion after many, many years. I imported all of my bookmarks and then realized that I couldn't remember the last time I went through them to see what was...
I recently switch browsers from Safari to Orion after many, many years. I imported all of my bookmarks and then realized that I couldn't remember the last time I went through them to see what was still useful (or even around).
I also realized that I don't save a ton of bookmarks anymore as I keep all of my browsing history available and search through that.
How often do you all go through your bookmarks/favorites?
34 votes -
Cool things to do with old satellite dish
Anyone have any ideas for a cool project involving an old school satellite dish? It's maybe 6-8 feet in diameter. I've seen some stuff like make an art project or an umbrella but I was hoping to...
Anyone have any ideas for a cool project involving an old school satellite dish? It's maybe 6-8 feet in diameter. I've seen some stuff like make an art project or an umbrella but I was hoping to use it for picking up signals again. I don't imagine I can use it to get TV but is there any satellites from universities or maybe hobby cube sats that I might be able to use?
Apologies if this is in the wrong topic it was this or ~space.
23 votes -
Active communities for discussing 40k?
I’m slowly getting into warhammer 40k but feel pretty disconnected from the broader 40K universe. Are there any active communities where people discuss 40K? Discussion about new models, balancing,...
I’m slowly getting into warhammer 40k but feel pretty disconnected from the broader 40K universe.
Are there any active communities where people discuss 40K? Discussion about new models, balancing, rule changes, painting show cases, etc.
Right now I’m just painting alone listening to PoorHammer on YouTube 😅.
17 votes -
What did you do this week (and weekend)?
As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do...
As part of a weekly series, these topics are a place for users to casually discuss the things they did — or didn't do — during their week. Did you accomplish any goals? Suffer a failure? Do nothing at all? Tell us about it!
7 votes -
Nostalgia -- what programs do you miss?
What are those programs that you used back in the day (or even recently!) that you look back on fondly and think about how they once were-- or worse, programs that seemed to have just up and...
What are those programs that you used back in the day (or even recently!) that you look back on fondly and think about how they once were-- or worse, programs that seemed to have just up and disappeared?
What made me think of this question, for me, was Opera. It had everything: browsing, RSS, and torrenting all in one browser. However, a lot of sites loved to break in it since it was the least supported and I eventually moved to Firefox (then Chrome, then Firefox...). Looking at the browser now-- and unsure if I'm just picky or its a case of enshittification, or both-- I'm just "meh."
99 votes -
Mushroom hunting open thread
Any mushroom hunters here? What have you been finding lately? Anything interesting popping up in your area? How did you get into the hobby?
50 votes -
New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here! (v2)
At over 600 comments and over a month old, v1 of the questions thread is due for retirement. Here’s a new, fresh one for all the users we are continuing to get. We have a lot of new users joining...
At over 600 comments and over a month old, v1 of the questions thread is due for retirement. Here’s a new, fresh one for all the users we are continuing to get.
We have a lot of new users joining the site. Welcome to Tildes!
This thread is for you to ask any question you have about the site, from “what is the moderation philosophy?”to “what does that blue line next to some comments mean?” to “what is the general vibe like here?” Tildes has a lot of documentation, history, and embedded social norms that can be daunting or opaque at first glance, so here’s your opportunity to get help with anything you need.
Questions about anything and everything are fair game. Follow-up questions are encouraged! No question is too simple.
Also, a quick note: the only person who can speak in any official capacity on Tildes is our admin @Deimos. Everyone answering who is NOT him is just a helpful community member!
It is perfectly okay to ask any question — even if you think it’s been asked before, or even if you didn’t search for an answer beforehand. Just ask away, and someone will answer you!
96 votes -
[SOLVED] PNG or similar of Tildes logo
Please let me know if this has already been answered - request in title. I'm looking for it because of this post, and I'd also like to make the logo the android-homescreen shortcut for going on...
Please let me know if this has already been answered - request in title.
I'm looking for it because of this post, and I'd also like to make the logo the android-homescreen shortcut for going on the tildes.net frontpage via mobile browser.
11 votes -
Help: Is there a way to search the fediverse in one place, instead of just my server / instance?
Hi everyone, I'm quite new to working the cross-server world of the Fediverse. Is there a way to search the Fediverse in one place, instead of just my server / instance? For example, being able to...
Hi everyone, I'm quite new to working the cross-server world of the Fediverse. Is there a way to search the Fediverse in one place, instead of just my server / instance?
For example, being able to search for #cats in not just my Mastodon server / instance, but on the others as well? And if it can search Lemmy and others as well, that would be AMAZING.
16 votes -
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds S02E04 - "Among the Lotus Eaters" Episode Discussion
The first three episodes didn't quite hit the mark for me, but this felt like proper TOS style Star Trek. Starfleet messing up the Prime Directive. A villain who is actually a victim. Spock is...
The first three episodes didn't quite hit the mark for me, but this felt like proper TOS style Star Trek.
Starfleet messing up the Prime Directive. A villain who is actually a victim. Spock is challenged on feelings versus logic. The overall theme of exploring the importance of personal memories and the straight forward metaphor of fascist regime controlling the people, didn't feel as hamfisted as I have found some of the other newer trek episodes. It does stand on its own as a well rounded singular trek story. I do however still have a bit of a problem with how newer trek seems to like hand to hand combat violence so much. Feels unnecessary in most cases.
23 votes -
What are your experiences with used electric cars?
I am going to be in the market for a vehicle soon enough. My 2003 car is starting to show its age. Unfortunately my family still requires two cars often enough that I will need to find a...
I am going to be in the market for a vehicle soon enough. My 2003 car is starting to show its age. Unfortunately my family still requires two cars often enough that I will need to find a replacement.
I have been bouncing the idea around in my head of getting an electric car.
As it stands, my 2003 has not gone over 50 miles in a single day more than a handful of times since we got a hybrid three years ago, and I don't see that changing soon. To me, this seems like an excellent opportunity to get a used electric vehicle that might not be getting the range that it once had. A vehicle that got 150 miles on a charge off the lot that now only gets 75 miles might be a problem for the original buyer but might not be for me.
My question to the users of Tildes - have you bought an "old" (I use this term very loosely) electric car for a similar use case? Are there problems with used electrics that don't have an ICE equivalent? Are you generally happy with the decision?
55 votes -
Jujutsu Kaisen - Season 2 | Discussion thread - all episodes
Alternative title(s) Sorcery Fight, JJK Genres Action, Drama, Supernatural No. Episodes 23 Information MyAnimeList AniList AniDB Synopsis The second season of Jujutsu Kaisen. The past comes to...
Alternative title(s) Sorcery Fight, JJK
Genres Action, Drama, Supernatural
No. Episodes 23
Information MyAnimeList AniList AniDBSynopsis
The second season of Jujutsu Kaisen.
The past comes to light when second-year students Satoru Gojou and Suguru Getou are tasked with escorting young Riko Amanai to Master Tengen. But when a non-sorcerer user tries to kill them, their mission to protect the Star Plasma Vessel threatens to turn them into bitter enemies and cement their destinies—one as the world’s strongest sorcerer, and the other its most twisted curse user!
(from AniList)
Discussion rules
BEWARE OF SPOILERS. Since all episode discussions are within a single thread, here are some rules to ensure revisits are safe from spoilers.
1. How this thread is organized
- Each top-level comment is a mini-thread for each episode discussion. A new top-level comment will be added whenever another episode is released.
- All discussions must be posted as replies within the appropriate mini-threads only. No discussions should be posted as top-level comments.
- Anything without dedicated mini-threads can be posted under "General chat".
2. How to navigate and avoid spoilers
- Use the "Collapse replies" button to find the appropriate episode discussions more easily, and make potential spoilers less visible.
- You can also use the links at the bottom to jump directly to each episode discussion.
3. When and how to hide spoilers
- Within each mini-thread, discussions about the current and previous episodes are freely allowed.
- But, details about subsequent episodes and source materials are spoilers and must be hidden.
- To hide spoilers, you can follow the "Expandable sections" part of the formatting guide.
Tips on using "Expandable" format for spoilers
Currently there's a flaw where if the comment is collapsed (by using "Collapse replies" or other ways), the hidden parts can still be seen in the small blurbs.
The workaround is to further enclose the spoilers in quote block. See here for an example comment.
Direct links to each mini-thread
Episode discussion (main)
| Ep1 | Ep2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 )
General discussion (extra)
| General chat || Season 1, Source material,
P/S: See here for more ongoing show discussion threads this season.
23 votes -
Aspiration vs Amalgamated Bank (ethical banking)
Does anyone here have any experience with Aspiration or Amalgamated bank? I am interested in opening a new credit account and can't seem to decide which one to pick. I've picked these two because...
Does anyone here have any experience with Aspiration or Amalgamated bank? I am interested in opening a new credit account and can't seem to decide which one to pick.
I've picked these two because of their environmental commitments, but I'm leaning towards Amalgamated since it's based in the East Coast.
Edit: Unfortunately, Beneficial is only in the West
6 votes -
AlbumLove recommendations thread: August 2023
Choose one album that you love that you think deserves more love Tell us what it is, and why. Previous posts in series Additional Details Why AlbumLove? In this day and age, algorithmic...
Choose one album
that you love
that you think deserves more loveTell us what it is, and why.
Additional Details
Why AlbumLove?
In this day and age, algorithmic recommendations for music are easy to come by, and it's trivial to seek out new music that interests you by searching online. AlbumLove offers an opportunity to sift through music loved by others, including those who might have divergent tastes from you. Think of this as an opportunity to listen outside of your comfort zone, with music that you know someone else adores, from a small pool of thoughtful hand-selected options.
What do I post?
Any album that you love and that you feel deserves more appreciation. There are no restrictions on genre, year, or anything else, and nothing is “too popular” or “too niche”. If you think it needs more love — for whatever reason — then it’s welcome in AlbumLove.
Name the artist and the album, and then, most importantly, share what you love about the album. It could be the music itself, but it could also be your associations with it -- maybe the album reminds you of someone you love, or you saw the band live and got a new appreciation for the studio songs.
Also, commenting on others' recommendations is encouraged! If you love something that someone else shared, let them know!
Do I have to listen to what everyone else posts?
Nope. You don't have to listen to anything if you don't want to. This is about creating a menu of options that people can explore as they wish.
Can I post more than one album in a month?
Nope. Limit one! This helps us be more selective about what we choose, as well as preventing the threads from getting flooded with too many contributions to keep track of.
Why albums and not songs/artists?
I like albums. :)
Seriously though, I feel like it's a very different thing to like an album as a whole versus a few songs or just an artist's general vibe. I like the idea of quantizing music for appreciation in the same way we might do with books or movies.
What about EPs?
Fair game!
15 votes -
How do people get started in something completely new for them?
I know that a lot of people can only get into gaming as adults, and I have no idea how they do it. I grew up playing all sorts of games, so I'll try/enjoy anything from Harvest Moon to Baldur's...
I know that a lot of people can only get into gaming as adults, and I have no idea how they do it. I grew up playing all sorts of games, so I'll try/enjoy anything from Harvest Moon to Baldur's Gate 3. But something that's been frustrating for a while is whenever I can't "get" something. An individual game is tolerable; I couldn't get into Stardew Valley the way I could Rune Factory, but oh well.
But shooters and (grand) strategy games feel incomprehensible to me. I enjoy Deep Rock despite being not any good at it, but it's my sole exception and probably because of the focus on PvE. Anything focused on PvP in general feels really unapproachable since I'll probably spend forever staring at a respawn or loss screen (I was just lucky growing up with SSB). I enjoy throwing myself at Dark Souls bosses way too early until I've finally gotten good, but in a team-based game I'd hate to force others into dealing with that. Strategy games are also kind of mind-boggling, but I also have trouble getting in the "conqueror" mindset that they seem to all require.
My friends really like those two kinds of games, so I'd really like to at minimum not zone out whenever they start talking to each other about them. Best case scenario, I could even try some of them myself.
26 votes -
Where is everyone hosting their email these days?
This is more focused towards those that use custom domains for their email. My current plan is up at Zoho for my team in a month, and even though I've used them for the past few years its been...
This is more focused towards those that use custom domains for their email. My current plan is up at Zoho for my team in a month, and even though I've used them for the past few years its been hit-or-miss (especially when using third-party apps or programs).
Who do you use? Who do you not trust? Who would you never go back to?
Sidenote: I hope this might eventually kick off a ~privacy group, one day.
72 votes -
What are some ideas for what can or should be done to facilitate kids’ independence and social life?
I'm GenX. I've participated in numerous conversations about how we used to spend large amounts of time outside either alone or with groups of friends, using bikes, skates, skateboards and other...
I'm GenX. I've participated in numerous conversations about how we used to spend large amounts of time outside either alone or with groups of friends, using bikes, skates, skateboards and other ways to goof off and have a good time, but that doesn't happen as much in the US today.
@hobofarmer talked about the trouble his kids have finding friends to spend time with.
The Japanese tv series Old Enough highlights a real cultural difference. https://www.netflix.com/title/81506279
This news article is about parents using air tags to keep track of their kids. If the kids are airtagged, do they then get more freedom to roam? https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/07/26/tracking-kids-airtags/
archive https://archive.li/Zg35345 votes -
Fresh Album Fridays: Carly Rae Jepson, George Clanton, Travis Scott, Aphex Twin and more
Good morning ~ This is a thread to discuss new album releases arriving at our doorsteps today (and until next week). Feel free to share albums and EPs that have caught your eye and interest! A big...
Good morning ~ This is a thread to discuss new album releases arriving at our doorsteps today (and until next week). Feel free to share albums and EPs that have caught your eye and interest!
A big week this week!
Discussion Points
What are you looking forward to listen to?
Have you listened to any of these releases?
What are your thoughts?
What have you enjoyed from these artists in the past?Why Friday?
Most (but not all) new LPs release on a Friday, as labels want to give the release a full week of sales before entering the charts.
~~ Feedback on the format welcome!
18 votes -
MLB trade deadline discussion thread
I know one of the things I'm going to miss the most at /r/baseball is the trade deadline discussions/trackers, so I figured I'd start one here. I probably won't be able to keep this up-to-date all...
I know one of the things I'm going to miss the most at /r/baseball is the trade deadline discussions/trackers, so I figured I'd start one here. I probably won't be able to keep this up-to-date all the time, especially on deadline day, but I'll do my best. Please throw new rumors, discussion articles or transactions I've missed into the comments and I'll update the main post as I can.
Trades from June 23 - July 25.
Transactions
June 23
Angels Receive Mets Receive 3B Eduardo Escobar RHP Landon Marceaux RHP Coleman Crow June 25
Angels Receive Rockies Receive 3B Mike Moustakas RHP Connor Van Scoyoc June 30
Rangers Receive Royals Receive LHP Aroldis Chapman LHP Cole Ragans OF Roni Cabrera July 3
Mariners Receive Mets Receive LHP Zach Muckenhirn RHP Trevor Gott RHP Chris Flexen July 20
Orioles Receive Athletics Receive RHP Shintaro Fujinami LHP Easton Lucas July 21
Blue Jays Receive Cardinals Receive LHP Genésis Cabrera C Sammy Hernandez July 24
Braves Receive Rockies Receive RHP Pierce Johnson RHP Victor Vodnik RHP Tanner Gordon Braves Receive Rangers Receive LHP Taylor Hearn Cash July 24
Marlins Receive Padres Receive LHP Jose Castillo Cash July 25
Dodgers Receive Red Sox Receive INF Kiké Hernandez RHP Nick Robertson RHP Justin Hagenman Trades from July 26 - July 30.
July 26
Marlins Receive Twins Receive RHP Jorge López RHP Dylan Floro Dodgers Receive Guardians Receive SS Amed Rosario RHP Noah Syndergaard Cash Red Sox Receive Giants Receive RHP Mauricio Llovera RHP Marques Johnson Angels Receive White Sox Receive RHP Lucas Giolito C Edgar Quero RHP Reynaldo Lopez LHP Ky Bush July 27
Brewers Receive Pirates Receive 1B Carlos Santana SS Johnny Severino July 28
Marlins Receive Mets Receive RHP David Robertson INF Marco Vargas C Ronald Hernandez Dodgers Receive White Sox Receive RHP Lance Lynn RHP Nick Nastrini RHP Joe Kelly RHP Jordan Leasure CF Trayce Thompson Astros Receive White Sox Receive RHP Kendall Graveman C Korey Lee July 29
Rangers Receive Mets Receive RHP Max Scherzer SS Luisangel Acuna July 30
Blue Jays Receive Cardinals Receive RHP Jordan Hicks RHP Sem Robberse RHP Adam Kloffenstein Rangers Receive Cardinals Receive LHP Jordan Montgomery LHP John King RHP Chris Stratton INF Thomas Saggese RHP Tekoah Roby July 31
Angels Receive Rockies Receive 1B C.J. Cron RHP Jake Madden OF Randal Grichuk LHP Mason Albright Braves Receive Royals Receive 3B Nicky Lopez LHP Taylor Hearn Rays Receive Guardians Receive RHP Aaron Civale 1B Kyle Manzardo Diamondbacks Receive Mariners Receive RHP Paul Sewald RF Dominc Canzone 3B Josh Rojas SS Ryan Bliss Cubs Receive Nationals Receive 3B Jeimer Candelario LHP DJ Herz SS Kevin Made Brewers Receive Mets Receive LF Mark Canha RHP Justin Jarvis Giants Receive Mariners Receive LF AJ Pollock PTBNL 2B Mark Mathias Reds Receive Athletics Receive LHP Sam Moll RHP Joe Boyle Cubs Receive Royals Receive RHP José Cuas OF Nelson Velázquez Diamondbacks Receive Athletics Receive 3B Jace Peterson RHP Chad Patrick August 1
Cubs Receive Rays Receive RHP Josh Roberson RHP Adrian Sampson RHP Manuel Rodriguez Royals Receive Angels Receive LHP Tucker Davidson Cash Rockies Receive Dodgers Receive LHP Justin Bruihl Cash Blue Jays Receive Cardinals Receive SS Paul DeJong RHP Matt Svanson Padres Receive Pirates Receive 1B Ji-Man Choi LHP Jackson Wolf LHP Rich Hill OF Estuar Suero 1B Alfonso Rivas Braves Receive Rockies Receive LHP Brad Hand RHP Alec Barger Astros Receive Mets Receive RHP Justin Verlander OF Drew Gilbert OF Ryan Clifford Phillies Receive Tigers Receive RHP Michael Lorenzen INF Hao-Yu Lee Orioles Receive Mariners Receive RHP Logan Rinehart RHP Eduard Bazardo Brewers Receive Diamondbacks Receive LHP Andrew Chafin RHP Peter Strzelecki Marlins Receive Cubs Receive INF Jake Burger LHP Jake Eder Angels Receive Mets Receive RHP Dominc Leone SS Jeremiah Jackson Red Sox Receive Brewers Receive 3B Luis Urias RHP Bradley Blalock Marlins Receive Guardians Receive 1B Josh Bell SS Jean Segura SS Khalil Watson Yankees Receive Rangers Receive RHP SPencer Howard Cash Dodgers Receive Royals Receive LHP Ryan Yarbrough 2B Devin Mann UT Derlin Figueroa Padres Receive Royals Receive RHP Scott Barlow RHP Henry Williams RHP Jesus Rios Padres Receive Marlins Receive 1B Garrett Cooper LHP Ryan Weathers UT Sean Reynolds Phillies Receive Pirates Receive SS Rodolfo Castro LHP Bailey Falter Yankees Receive White Sox Receive RHP Kenyan Middleton RHP Juan Carela Mets Receive Dodgers Receive RHP Phil Bickford Cash LHP Adam Kolarek Orioles Receive Cardinals Receive RHP Jack Flaherty 2B Cesar Prieto LHP Drew Rom RHP Zack Showalter Rangers Receive Mets Receive C Austin Hedges Cap Space White Sox Receive Rays Receive RHP Luis Patiño Cash Tigers Receive Dodgers Receive SS Eddys Leonard Cash Rangers Receive Brewers Receive C Alex Jackson RHP Evan McKendry Rumors and Discussions
Rumors from July 20 - July 25
July 20
Team Rumor Angels Angels to decide within 24-48 hrs of deadline whether to trade Ohtani Team Rumor Cardinals Dylan Carlson in line for trade after O'Neill's return July 21
Team Rumor Mets José Quintana drawing trade interest July 24
Team Rumor Reds Reds willing to trade India Team Rumor Pirates Pirates willing to listen to offers on Bednar, Keller Team Rumor Braves Braves interested in Boston's Duvall Team Rumor Diamondbacks, Orioles Arizona and Baltimore interested in Angel's Ohtani July 25
Team Rumor Athletics Sam Moll drawing interest Rumors from July 26 - July 30
## July 26 |Team |Rumor| |:------------|---------------:| | Angels| [Angels will not trade Ohtani](https://www.thescore.com/mlb/news/2682452)|July 27
Team Rumor Cardinals, Dodgers Cardinals discussing Arenado with Dodgers; Arenado willing to waive no-trade clause Team Rumor Orioles, Tigers Orioles interested in Michael Lorenzen July 28
Team Rumor Mariners Mariners open to dealing from rotation, Paul Sewald Team Rumor Marlins, Tigers Marlins interested in Michael Lorenzen July 29
Team Rumor Marlins, Brewers, White Sox Marlins and Brewers interested in Eloy Jimenez July 30
Team Rumor Nationals Nationals have 8 suitors for Candelario Team Rumor Cubs Cubs take Bellinger off the market July 31
Team Rumor Guardians Guardians consider making Aaron Civale available Team Rumor Astros, Mets Mets, Astros continue to discuss Verlander 21 votes -
Genres you dislike due to the time period you originally listened to them
I grew up an angsty rural white kid in the 2000s, and as such listened to my fair share of post-grunge/nu-metal/emo bands. Stuff like Seether, Staind, Korn, MCR, Nine inch Nails, Disturbed or...
I grew up an angsty rural white kid in the 2000s, and as such listened to my fair share of post-grunge/nu-metal/emo bands. Stuff like Seether, Staind, Korn, MCR, Nine inch Nails, Disturbed or Breaking Benjamin Sometime around 14 my musical taste shifted away from that and towards alt/indie/folk (not so coincidentally around the same time I got my first girlfriend and a solid group of friends). From there I've expanded to listening to pretty much every major genre, but the one subsection of music I've never been able to get back into is the aforementioned stuff. Whenever I listen to it I feel like it takes me back to my early tween/teen years and just puts me in a very bad mood. I know I used to really enjoy all of that but I feel like the period of time when I listened to it has been like permanently fused with the music itself and I can't enjoy it any more because of that.
Which is also weird because I had a very bad few years circa 2015-2019 and I was listening to the mopiest sad boy albums and post rock stuff but I've been able to come back around and enjoy them again without feeling like they're tainted by when I predominantly found and liked them, which was objectively a "worse" period of my life.
15 votes -
TV Tuesdays Free Talk
Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...
Have you watched any TV shows recently you want to discuss? Any shows you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.
Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.
15 votes -
What is some life advice that has stuck with you throughout the years?
There's tons and tons of life advice quotes and phrases out there, but I'm curious to hear which ones in particular have been actually impactful for ya'll.
80 votes -
What have you been eating, drinking, and cooking?
What food and drinks have you been enjoying (or not enjoying) recently? Have you cooked or created anything interesting? Tell us about it!
18 votes -
What is everyone using for managing their contacts?
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with contact management and was wondering if anyone could recommend some good solutions. My Google Contacts and iOS contact management has become unmanageable and I...
Hi everyone, I'm struggling with contact management and was wondering if anyone could recommend some good solutions. My Google Contacts and iOS contact management has become unmanageable and I personally find them very awkward to use.
15 votes -
A "low-risk" AMA thread for everyone
Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life...
Historically, I've found the most interesting AMA's came from seemingly "ordinary" people. (touchmyfuckingcoffee's vacuum AMA's come to mind!) I think that most everyone has one or two life experiences, points of view, or specialized knowledge that would be fun to share or fun to learn about.
I've toyed with the idea of hosting an AMA for awhile, but I've been afraid that maybe I wasn't "interesting" enough. Then, I realized that others might be in the same position! So instead of hosting my own AMA, I wanted to make space for a collective "Low-Risk" AMA, that I think would work especially well with Tildes' philosophy and format.
With that preamble, I'm wondering if you would like to join me in an experiment? Let's make mini-AMA's out of top-level comments, with the Q's and A's as child comments.
Edit: Wow! I wasn't expecting this thread to have so much staying power! Love all the conversations that are being had. FYI The early posters including myself are still answering questions, so don't be shy!
191 votes -
I'm generally confused about dating women
Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it...
Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it turning into a pity party or cesspool.
I didn't have any interest in dating until after I'd graduated college. Unfortunately, I immediately moved to an area of the country notorious for its unfavorable gender ratio. There are many more men than women here which means I'm starting on hard mode. I do at least have some traits which make things easier than for most. I am high earning, reasonably fit (not super cut but I work out most days), tall and I believe mentally healthy. However I can tell that my approach doesn't really catch with most people.
I've had limited success out here. Some of my failures are mine to own. Getting started from nothing means I'm venturing into the unknown. I'm a naturally anxious person and never felt any intuition in social situations. Thankfully I've managed to figure out a way of being that jives with some people and learned the hard way the things I do that don't jive so well. But dating seems to have its own social rules - and they're harder to learn due to all of the misinformation.
To sort out a lot of the misinformation I look to the people I see with the greatest degree of success. The older couples that are clearly deeply happy. My parents do pretty well in that regard. They've been married for 30-ish years with nothing more than a short argument between them. Or maybe I'll talk with an older co-worker who loves his wife the same way he did decades ago. People say that all happy families are the same, and unhappy families each broken in their own way. It's clear that there are some things in common with the happy couples - a universal recipe for happiness and success.
- Forgiveness
- Consistent effort
- Flexibility
- Similar values
I try to take these virtues with me when dating.
Of course, mutual attraction is a black box and also plays an important role. I've tried dating women that are just outside of what I would consider attractive. I think it's important to know what truly is important to me. But I found that things did not feel right and I can't compromise in that way. I'm not looking for a 10. But if I know they are not attractive to me it won't work.
In the normal world (outside of online dating) I think the odds of a random person being instantly notably attractive are very low. Someone needs to be sufficiently aesthetically attractive, but also have the right mind and soul. Without the latter two I have no interest. So for me when I've met a nice woman from a dating app the process of learning more about this person begins - and it can take a while to truly get to know someone. But I draw on the virtue of effort and am more than willing to make that an active process as we get closer.
There are actually some people out there that this all seems to align with. I think it's mostly a matter of time before I find the right person - so I'm not entirely discouraged. But the vast majority of women I meet seem to have the same feedback. They don't feel a connection - maybe that translates to "they're not attracted enough to me", maybe it's something else. But what I call a "connection" is something that can't be absolutely determined after one date.
Given my profile pictures are representative of my appearance, I don't think they're all saying I'm aesthetically unattractive to them. Sure, some might decide after meeting me that they aren't as attracted in person. I experience that for myself some of the time. But I suspect that much of the time this is more of a mismatched approach. I really want to know either how better to find my kind of person, or what ways I can adapt to be flexible for the women I'm dating.
Edit: Thank you everyone for your thoughts!
A lot of people said a lot of things, many of which sounds right to me but only a few I think are applicable as next steps.
- My own reflection leads me to believe that being more present and less analytical will make dates more enjoyable and productive for both people.
- Keeping a very long term goal in mind cripples the dynamic of early dating. It requires future prediction abilities beyond what a human can do.
- I don't know if I can be the "fun guy" all the time but I can definitely increase the amount of fun.
I wrote up a journal entry about what I wrote here and everyone's responses. I'll bring up my thoughts with my therapist later. Maybe this is weird but I threw the journal entry into ChatGPT. If nothing else it was positive and cheerful, which is helpful. But I was able to drill down on a few different things and got answers that sound reasonable. This is surely a common enough topic that it's got good training data for it.
I'd also like to say, for whoever reads my comments, that much of what I wrote is more about following a thought as far as it will go more so than putting my internal constitution into writing. I'm here to be as malleable as I need to be.
70 votes -
AWS eIP price change. What's your plan?
28 votes -
Anyone else feel/used to feel that they will be alone both platonically and romantically, forever?
I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to...
I have cptsd and comorbid-depression, am gay and trans, and i have bad social skills (i cant even maintain eye contact with someone). I feel completely hopeless for the future and i just wanted to know if anyone else here related, or if they've recovered. Thanks
Edit: Thank you all very much for the great responses. Maybe i'll make it :)37 votes -
People who make smoothies, what are your favorite ingredient combinations or spices?
My husband just presented me with a cantelope based smoothie to which he added cardomom. I don't know what if any other ingrediants. It's pretty good. Looking forward to your discussion and ideas.
42 votes -
Midweek Movie Free Talk
Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here. Please just try to provide fair warning of...
Have you watched any movies recently you want to discuss? Any films you want to recommend or are hyped about? Feel free to discuss anything here.
Please just try to provide fair warning of spoilers if you can.
9 votes -
Any people here who are also interested in a "low-tech lifestyle?"
As an ex-Redditor, I only subscribed to 3 subreddits: /r/dumbphones /r/nosurf /r/simpleliving As someone who is incorporating more of an "offline" vs. "online" life, and downgrading some elements...
As an ex-Redditor, I only subscribed to 3 subreddits:
/r/dumbphones
/r/nosurf
/r/simplelivingAs someone who is incorporating more of an "offline" vs. "online" life, and downgrading some elements to live a lifestyle that's more focus on the present and get out of the house more (family, kids, pets, walking, etc.) instead of just reading and absorbing tons of information on my laptop.
Are there any people here who are interested in this or is there a section on Tildes for this already? (I know Reddit is a much bigger site, just dipping my toes in the water to see if there is something like that on here already.)
36 votes -
Any good places to find old (but good condition) hardbacks?
So, I’ve recently remodeled my home office and added a big Murphy bed and bookcase wall unit. It is massive, amazing, and not nearly full enough for my literary standards. :) I’ve been hunting for...
So, I’ve recently remodeled my home office and added a big Murphy bed and bookcase wall unit. It is massive, amazing, and not nearly full enough for my literary standards. :)
I’ve been hunting for older, good condition, hardbacks from some of my favorite authors. I’m a massive Clive Barker fan (Imajica, Weaveworld, The Great and Secret Show, etc) and have been trying to track down good editions on eBay. I find it’s really hit or miss, and Amazon is really no better. Short of exploring Etsy for stuff (and my local thrift stores, which have not been remotely useful) are there any good places on the internet I should check out?
There was a time when googling for this worked, now it’s rather useless.
Thanks, all!
15 votes -
Which audio drama podcasts do you recommend?
You might be able to tell by my username which is my favorite audio drama. If you haven't heard of it, Wolf 359 is a space opera dramedy focused on a cast of deeply likable characters who find...
You might be able to tell by my username which is my favorite audio drama. If you haven't heard of it, Wolf 359 is a space opera dramedy focused on a cast of deeply likable characters who find themselves carrying out mysterious research onboard a space station owned by a soulless corporation. Heads up, the whole thing is very enjoyable but the creators say the real story doesn't get going for real until about episode 9 and I would agree. It's funny and entertaining but gets pretty serious around there. Don't worry, the early episodes are super short and still good.
Other audio dramas I highly recommend are:
Bronzetown
1865
Limetown
Edict Zero FIS
Station 151
Archive 81
The Magnus Archives
Theater of Tomorrow
The Hyacinth Disaster
Life After / The Message37 votes -
How do you hang stuff—from the walls or ceilings—around your house when you're decorating?
It took me a while to find a good, non-destructive way to put up posters in my living room. I think I started with blu-tack, which dried in a few months and the posters came down. Then I tried...
It took me a while to find a good, non-destructive way to put up posters in my living room. I think I started with blu-tack, which dried in a few months and the posters came down. Then I tried 3M's hanging strips, which stayed on the wall for longer, but was pretty expensive for what it was. A year ago I had the idea of using velcro that has adhesive tape on the other side. So far this has worked near perfectly for me.
I know I'm not breaking new ground here, but I was happy to finally find a decent solution. Well, at least for light objects on walls (and elsewhere).
23 votes -
Anything of interest for you at GenCon?
9 votes -
Which board games have you been playing this week? (to 30th July)
It's been another week, party people, and it's time to share what you've been playing.
13 votes -
Night-shifters of Tildes, what tips do you have?
In a few weeks I'm starting a new position at work that will be 7p-7a, 2 days in a row (each week, so work for 2 days, off for 5). It'll be a sort of "on call" type position that will have busier...
In a few weeks I'm starting a new position at work that will be 7p-7a, 2 days in a row (each week, so work for 2 days, off for 5). It'll be a sort of "on call" type position that will have busier spats at the beginning and end of the shift, but the middle tends to be slow, occasionally no work at all. My employer doesn't have any major restrictions as far as work downtime, I have a lot of freedom there.
What tips do y'all have for managing sleep surrounding overnight shifts, and also maintaining alertness/awakeness during the overnight shifts?
30 votes -
What games have you been playing, and what's your opinion on them?
What have you been playing lately? Discussion about video games and board games are both welcome. Please don't just make a list of titles, give some thoughts about the game(s) as well.
46 votes -
Why did you select your username for Tildes?
I always try this name first when signing up for accounts but it is always taken. Listen closely, my friend, because I'm about to blow your mind wide open. You see, 'King of the Hill' isn't just...
I always try this name first when signing up for accounts but it is always taken.
Listen closely, my friend, because I'm about to blow your mind wide open. You see, 'King of the Hill' isn't just some ordinary animated series. It's a diabolical government project aimed at documenting every aspect of my life! They've been watching me, tracking my every move, and mocking me through the fictional character of Hank Hill. It's all a clever ruse to hide the truth from the masses!
In every episode, they carefully weave in details from my life, the people I know, and the secrets I've uncovered. The creators are agents of the government, skillfully disguising their surveillance operation as a simple sitcom. They want the world to think it's just entertainment, but it's so much more!
Think about it! The show portrays Hank as a patriotic, average American, while I, Dale-ahem uh, Rusty Shackleford, the one who truly understands what's going on, am portrayed as a paranoid conspiracy theorist. It's a calculated move to discredit me, to make the truth sound like fiction!
Every time I see the show, I feel their eyes upon me, laughing at my expense. The characters, the scenarios, they're all just tools to manipulate public perception. It's a mind-control experiment! MAKE SURE YOUR MOUNTAIN DEW IS SAFE.
But don't worry, my friend. I won't let them silence me. I'll continue to expose the truth, fighting against this government conspiracy, no matter how deep it goes. They can't hide forever!
Sha-sha-shaaaaa! pocket sand
103 votes -
Suggestions for a short trip to Denver?
I have a business trip to Denver in a few weeks, but I'm planning on staying a couple extra nights in order to see the city. My SO is also coming along. Neither of us have been to Denver -- any...
I have a business trip to Denver in a few weeks, but I'm planning on staying a couple extra nights in order to see the city. My SO is also coming along. Neither of us have been to Denver -- any favorite things to do/see/eat?
- We both enjoy art museums.
- I've heard good things about Wings Over The Rockies, but I'm not sure how it compares to other aviation museums across the country.
- Food: We are both kind of foodies, but it doesn't have to be fancy. Any cuisines to look for, or unique places to go?
- Natural things: We might visit Rocky Mountain National Park or something like that. We have a rental car and don't mind driving if the destination is worth it.
23 votes -
What advice do you have for someone who is vaguely interested in finding opportunities to volunteer but isn't sure how to go about it?
Also do you have any stories to share about volunteer experiences? Tips for what to do or red flags to avoid? Thanks
36 votes -
Do you use a puzzle mat for jigsaw puzzles? Is it necessary?
I've been doing some high-ish quality wooden jigsaw puzzles, and I'm a bit worried about them getting damaged, so I'm using a puzzle mat. And...I hate it, so much. It's crazy hard to move...
I've been doing some high-ish quality wooden jigsaw puzzles, and I'm a bit worried about them getting damaged, so I'm using a puzzle mat. And...I hate it, so much. It's crazy hard to move completed sections around if you need to rearrange, which is often an issue since i always solve without looking at the image. This is the primary irritation, but it's significant, and there's also some secondary irritations like the board is just kinda annoying to deal with and it's itchy lol.
So, to people who do jigsaw puzzles, how do you protect your pieces? Do you use a puzzle mat? Something else? Just do it on a hard surface and all is fine?
(also meta-note: this is my first topic post here so I hope I've done this correctly, tell me if I haven't!)
15 votes -
Is the Tildes code base really only 1.3MB?
According to the repository, “project storage” amounts to 1.3MB. I know that this doesn’t include the data/posts of course, but that still seems impossibly small: https://gitlab.com/tildes/tildes
73 votes -
Free Talk Tuesday (ish)
For the random snippets you want to share but don't want to put in a post.
21 votes -
Should I plant these onions? Massachusetts
8 votes -
Tildes multiplayer games
I think the population of the site has likely grown to the point where we could get some multiplayer gaming going. While I don't currently have anything in mind, I figure there will come a time...
I think the population of the site has likely grown to the point where we could get some multiplayer gaming going. While I don't currently have anything in mind, I figure there will come a time when I do so I thought I'd try to get things rolling.
So, what multiplayer games would you like to try but lack the people for? What is your general availability for playing? Is there anything else people need to be aware of? Interest permitting, a recurring thread may be appropriate, though the exact interval would depend on the level of interest.
64 votes