Hi Tilderinos,

I head up a small startup and we're looking to get some support for our data security. Up until now we've worked with small mom and pops that didn't have any requirements, but a few of our new clients have full data security teams and our infrastructure and policies/protocols aren't up to snuff. We reached out to a few consulting firms and they quotes us between $80-100k to get things set up and run us through a full SOC2 review. As a small company we don't really have that type of budget, more like $40-50k. I stumbled upon Vanta and Drata as alternatives and had meetings with their sales folks last week. Both of their offerings from setting up our protocols to monitoring and getting us through a SOC2 were only $16k.

Are platform based companies like Vanta or Drata enough to get us off the ground while we're still getting set up? Has anyone worked with them before and have any feelings one way or the other? Should we be signing on with a security consulting company - be it at a lower rate if we can negotiate it?
This is all quite new to me and any insight folks here can provide would be incredible useful.

It seems like the input fields for comments are missing some required HTML meta parameters or something like that. When I'm typing in them, on mobile, I don't get any autocorrect or autosuggestions, I can't use swipe input, I can't move my cursor with the space bar, etc. This doesn't happen with any other text field on the site (search, post body, ...), so the problem must be in something like the type param of the input element. This is incredibly annoying and there have been multiple times where I didn't want to write a comment just to avoid dealing with this experience.

Edit: it also seems like it happens when editing a post, but it doesn't happen when making a new post

Edit 2: I just tried clicking around and for some reason it only happens when entering a text field for the first time, but not when clicking off and the back into the text field? Might be a GBoard bug then, weird that it doesn't happen on any other site though

Edit 3: the issue only happens that use markdown_textarea with auto_focus=True

Maybe this topic is silly, but I am up from insomnia, so here it goes.

I watched a piece on the news about how the election may come down to teeny tiny little town in Nebraska. I remember a similar situation coming to pass in the 2020 election.

There are many teleworkers now. Many of them are IT people who would be happy anywhere there is a good Internet connection.

I was thinking that a movement to get people to move to where their votes would count the most would be interesting. At least to talk about.

There could be a web site/app that would identify the potential most crucial areas, like that little Nebraska town.

Nomadic and patriotic teleworkers could then move to such places a year in advance of an election, vote, and move on if they aren't happy in those places.

I really want to try out bead crochet, I found a decent yt tutorial for starting and this pintrest board has enough patterns to last a lifetime, but i have absolutely no idea where to start in terms of buying supplies.

Does anyone here do bead crochet? could you point me in the right direction for the correct floss & beads to use? (and also the needed findings, I think each one needs 2 caps and a tube to stabilize it; I have plenty of jump rings and lobster clasps already cos I do chainmaille so that's not an issue) or any other tips would be appreciated too!!

Hey ho, so I'm taking over running one of my existing D&D groups. I have a campaign in my pocket that I have run part of before, A dystopian Narnia. If somehow my players meet just the right overlaps of nerd and techness to have ended up here. Leave now .

But it's really a set up for a longer campaign that I hope bridges into more worlds. I have the Narnian World really fleshed out, but if somebody feels particularly passionate and has ideas, please let me know. I can provide any detail folks would like into being asked a tricky question just helps me World build so please go for it.

The general gist is that our adventurers are pulled by a much weakened aslan from faerun or whatever default world we start from into Narnia. There they find it has been a thousand years of winter and rule by The White Witch. I'm familiar enough with the lore that if they decide to leave the country of Narnia or seek out another witch as an ally I have some options. Hopefully they save the day and free Narnia from Christmas-less winter. (I'm leaning hard into all the broad references to mythology in Narnia, Dionysus and the Maenads, the River God

If they do, they will receive a set of the magic rings used in The magician's nephew to allow people to pop between Narnia and the wood between the worlds. Allowing them to hop into other stories that have been similarly messed up.

I am looking for One Big Idea But also some other suggestions

1. The suggestions I'm looking for are other stories from about the same realm of stories that could be similarly messed up, ideas I had included Dinotopia, Wrinkle in Time, The Rats of NIMH, maybe one of the Discworld stories (I feel like half of those characters would be self aware) particularly thinking middle grade books with a dip towards children's or younger YA stuff, particularly fantasy stories, particularly those with some nostalgia for my fellow millennial PCs. I don't want to touch Harry Potter.

2. My idea for the reason why the story went wrong is that someone is rewriting it, possibly due to hating children or hating happy endings or something. I wanted a BBEG but I can't think of one. Umbridge is out for the Harry Potter reasons, but who else would go to the trouble? I am planning on the villain having acquired "magical book mcguffin" (that I also need to figure out) that's letting them do this. I like the idea of a villain who gets a lot of power but uses it in such a petty way, to rewrite children's stories

It'll take a long time to get out of Narnia, we don't play very often, and we may not continue depending on how players feel but as someone who's worked this idea over and over in their head for a while, I would love to get past these things.

Hi DnD friends,

I'm tackling a new DM challenge and could use some guidance. I'm designing a dungeon where humanoid beavers are attempting to awaken a sleeping god. Their efforts get derailed when they offer the god a magical plant that overgrows their entire base, warping the rooms and fusing many surviving beavers into half-plant, half-beaver creatures.

Since our group is relatively new, I've found that combat can be a bit slow. To speed things up and make combat more dynamic, I want to include environmental elements and traps—things like shelves that can be pushed over or a chandelier that can be dropped on enemies. I hope this will make the players feel more impactful when they pull off creative moves.

I plan to design a large building that encourages investigation, puzzle solving, and backtracking. My goal is for the players to get familiar with the map before combat, allowing them to discover useful items or environmental features they can take advantage of when enemies appear.

Since I've never done anything like this, I'm seeking advice on how to approach the design. Are there common pitfalls I should avoid to keep the building fun? How large should the maps be if I want to run this over 3 sessions, each about 3 hours long? And what types of puzzles would fit well in this environment?

Thanks a ton for your ideas! I’m already feeling like I may be reaching too high, but I’m excited to give it a shot!

I am currently preparing for a new job and cleaning up my dotfile repository. During the process, I had the idea that it would be nice to create a list of amazing tools, aliases, functions, and recommendations together.

I will start.

First, here is a list of nice tools to apt-get install or brew install that I can wholeheartedly recommend:

• nvim is just an amazing text editor.
• fzf is a very good fuzzy finder util. For example, you can quickly find files with it.
• eza is a good ls replacement (and the successor of exa).
• bat is a great replacement for cat with nice integrations and many options.
• stow is great for managing your dotfiles. Thanks to @TangibleLight for telling me about it some while ago. I really love it.
• tmux is a terminal multiplexer, i.e. you can have many sessions in one single terminal window. It's easy to use and super helpful. (When on a mac, I prefer iTerm tabs, though.)
• nvm is practically a must if you are working with Node.
• glow is an excellent markdown reader.
• tldr is a nice man replacement. (You must run tldr -u after installing it to update available texts.)
• z, an amazing tool for switching directories quickly.

Also, I can recommend Oh My ZSH! which I have been using for years.

Here is a small list of aliases I enjoy (I have 100+ aliases and I tried to pick some others may enjoy as well):

# Serve current dir
alias serve="npx serve ."

# What's my IP?
alias ip="curl --silent --compressed --max-time 5 --url 'https://ipinfo.io/ip' && echo ''"

# This should be the default
alias mkdir="mkdir -p"

# Nice git helpers
alias amend="git add . && git commit --amend --no-edit"
alias nuke="git clean -df && git reset --hard"

# Make which more powerful
which='(alias; declare -f) | /usr/bin/which --tty-only --read-alias --read-functions --show-tilde --show-dot'

# This saves so many keystrokes, honestly
alias -- +x="chmod +x"

# Turns your path into a nice list and prints it
alias path='echo -e ${PATH//:/\\n}'

# Map over arguments and run a command
# Usage: map <command>
# Example: ls | map cat
alias map="xargs -n1"

And, finally, here are some fun functions:

# Get cheat sheets for almost anything!
# https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
cheat() {
    WITH_PLUS=$(echo $@ | sed 's/ /+/g')
    CAT_TOOL=$(command -v batcat || command -v bat || command -v cat)
    curl "cheat.sh/$WITH_PLUS" | $CAT_TOOL
}

# Send everything to /dev/null
nullify() {
  "$@" >/dev/null 2>&1
}

# Create a new dir and enter it
mk() {
  mkdir -p "$@" && cd "$_"
}

# Create a data URL from a file
# Source: https://github.com/mathiasbynens/dotfiles/blob/master/.functions
data-url() {
	local mimeType=$(file -b --mime-type "$1");
	if [[ $mimeType == text/* ]]; then
		mimeType="${mimeType};charset=utf-8";
	fi
	echo "data:${mimeType};base64,$(openssl base64 -in "$1" | tr -d '\n')";
}

A little over a year ago I posed some questions on Tildes about used electrics.

Shortly after that topic, I went put and purchased a 2016 VW E-Golf. I think that my experiences might be useful for anyone that is considering an electric but struggles with range anxiety or just wonders how practical a car with low range would actually be. When looking at used car prices, I was shocked at how cheap a low range electric car was compared to longer range EVs. I picked mine up for $10,500 out the door.

For context, I live on the outside of a small city in the Midwest. It gets cold here. I am also in a two car household, the other being a hybrid. There are two adults and children in the house.

The Golf has a roughly 20 kWh battery. Over the year that I have driven it, I have averaged 4.5 miles per kWh. That sounds like a range of 90 miles, but that doesn't tell the whole story. On cold days when resistive heating has to be run, the mileage drops by around 30%. On a nice mild day, I can get it up to 6 mi/kWh on a trip if I am off of the highway.

I did not need to install any additional charging abilities in my garage. I have the charger plugged into a random 110V outlet in my garage. I was prepared to shell out a bit of money for an electrician if the 110 circuit didn't cut it, but over a year of use I have not actually run into a scenario where I needed to use more than the trickle charge.

I work a hybrid setup. Twice a week I need to drive into the office around 20 miles away. The office does have some electric charging stations on a 220 circuit but I have not felt the need to charge there on any occasion.

The shorter range does mean that some coordination is required between the two adults in the household. If one of us needs to travel out of town for work or something involving the kids, the other has to limit their travel. In practice for our house, this annoyance ends up being more a concern for which vehicle needs car seats than a concern for mileage. Exactly one occasion this year we have had to adjust plans to deal with having a limited range vehicle.

Overall, I really have been thoroughly happy with the low range EV choice as the primary vehicle in a two vehicle household with a backup for longer range trips.

Anniversary

The Dreamcast is now 25 years old in the US, after its memorable release date of 9/9/99!

Europe has another month to go (it released on 14 October 1999), and Japan already beat the world to the anniversary by almost a year (27 November 1998).

Share your thoughts, memories, favorite games, or anything else related to the Dreamcast here. You can reminisce about how cool Sonic Adventure was, how groundbreaking Shenmue was, or how unsettling Seaman was.

Play Along

I am taking a month out of my regular gaming habits (mostly smaller indie Steam stuff) to play different Dreamcast games through September in honor of the anniversary. If anyone wants to join me in that, I’d love the company!

Every so often I’ll post a comment to this topic with thoughts on what I’m playing. Feel free to post yours as well!

If anyone needs a place to get started, we have a topic with some game recommendations.

I’ll be emulating them on my Steam Deck through RetroDECK (which uses the Flycast core for RetroArch). I’ve already tested out a bunch of games, and performance and compatibility seem to be really good.

There are no points for this (it’s purely for fun), but if there were, anyone playing on original hardware would get bonus ones!

For clarity, a mandatory arbitration agreement is when a consumer or customer must "agree to have their case reviewed by a third party—called an arbitrator—and to be bound by the arbitrator's decision." The intent is that you waive your right to sue (in a regular court of law) the party you're entering this agreement with. But these agreements can, in some cases, be ruled as invalid by a court. The examples I've seen apply to the US, but I'd be interested in examples from other countries.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been noticing how out of hand it's becoming to see these statements plastered in Terms of Service and several other locations.

The most newsworthy example recently was Disney claiming that a statement like this in their Disney+ ToS also applied to a wrongful death case on one of their properties. As the linked article says, they backpedaled on this, but it's still disgusting and disturbing they even tried it in the first place.

The most recent example I've seen is this post on Mastodon where it was included on the packaging of a supplement.

I can't help but wonder if this is just a way to deter people from seeking litigation in the first place, especially if they aren't wealthy enough to hire a legal team that could poke holes in the legitimacy of their mandatory arbitration agreement.

I'm sure there's a nearly endless supply of examples of this, especially in software service agreements. But is there anything that can be done about it? Or is this just one more way corporations get to have more power than people that won't ever change?

This is the sixth of an ongoing series of book discussions here on Tildes. We are discussing Small Gods by Terry Pratchett. Our next book will be This is How You Lose the Time War around the end of September.

I don't have a particular format in mind for this discussion, but I will post some prompts and questions as comments to get things started. You're not obligated to respond to them or vote on them though. So feel free to make your own top-level comment for whatever you wish to discuss, questions you have of others, or even just to post a review of the book you have written yourself.

For latecomers, don't worry if you didn't read the book in time for this Discussion topic. You can always join in once you finish it. Tildes Activity sort, and "Collapse old comments" feature should keep the topic going for as long as people are still replying.
And for anyone uninterested in this topic please use the Ignore Topic feature on this so it doesn't keep popping up in your Activity sort, since it's likely to keep doing that while I set this discussion up, and once people start joining in.

Hey Tildes,

Recently I picked up WoW again and I've felt a rush and focus I haven't felt for a while. I can play the game for an entire day. I feel nothing but guilt doing so. The one thing that gives me joy feels like something I'm not allowed to do at this stage of my life; I'm 35.

I'm in grouptherapy until march next year but I feel I'm not making any sensible progress. Others around me seem to open and loosen up, finding tangible changes that help their lives. Meanwhile I just keep resenting myself, dread doing anything that might even cost effort.

I feel I'm a fraud, a selfless good-for-nothing profiteer who blames anything but me. It fuels my self-hatred and my wish to self-isolate and act in self-destructive behavior. I also notice a growing bitterness as I get older.

How many friends do you have? Good good friends vs more casual friends. What's the dividing line or definition of one vs the other for you? Related question: what life stage are you in, and what was friendship like at a different stage?

How do you keep in touch, esp for friends not in your city? Do you call them randomly or call / video chat with them regularly? Do texts count? Do people welcome phone calls out of the blue or is it more like, "oh gosh you have cancer" if one gets a call from a friend these days?

How much effort are regular people* putting into maintaining/strengthening their friendships in their late-30s onwards? (Regular people being, maybe, folks who aren't terminally online, folks who are neurotypical, folks without social anxiety etc?) [edit: oh no I messed up!! I mean that I super want to hear from others who fit one or more of these boxes as well, but since I'm 3/3 plus all kinds of crazy I am interested to know if these are factors in friendships, particularly because most people are of the "normal" sort who would have to put up with me.....my apologies.]

Do folks suddenly realise maybe they don't have many/any close friends, or they're not as close anymore as they thought they were decades ago? How do folks maintain friendship as people age and move apart? Or is it just normal that once you're not in the same city to hang out, they stop being good friends?

Have you ever made conscious and serious efforts to make / rekindle friendships before? How, and how'd that turn out ?

Okay -- I am looking for a decent but dirt cheap tablet, manly for recipes, spotify, youtube/VLC, maybe some simple puzzle games. I want the largest tablet I can get for the fewest dollars spent

Not a lot. I was looking at the Lenovo Tab M11 or something around there.

Also, ideally something that can take a crap-free Android ROM.

quick edit: I gave up on this for a few days because I got into the 'this one is better... but this one is better...' and before I knew it I was hitting a grand for something I'll barely use. I just ordered a Lenovo P11. I don't expect it to be amazing, but it'll be fine for the very basic tasks I'll be using it for.

Its surprising how much old stuff is for sale on Amazon. iPads from 2018, for instance. Doesn't seem right.

double edit: I returned the under-powered P11 and got a Lenovo Tab K11 LTE w/ 8gb and 128gb eMMC. Not a big fan of eMMC, but it'll be fine for my uses.

I'm currently at a crossroads for how I want to spend my next few years. For context I'm 33 and considering whether or not to purchase a vehicle after being car free for 12 years.

I rent a 600 sq foot apartment downtown and walk, run or bike everywhere with the occasional trip on transit. I fill up my free time with low cost activities like gaming, magic (the gathering), disc golf, and usually one paid activity like karate or climbing. I enjoy getting out to the mountains to hike when I can get a ride with a friend or meetup group.

I'm pretty content day to day, I have a good friend group, and it feels great knowing I only have to work for 12-17 more years while I am still young enough to enjoy retirement (If I keep my 50% savings rate). I do still splurge occasionally with a few weeks of overseas vacation.

I am considering getting a car as I feel it would allow me to:

• Go hiking more often, and on my terms. Most of the hiking groups I join are 10-20 people going extremely slowly. I run in a 100 mile trail run relay every year and a vehicle would allow me to train more and see how much I can push my body. Running a 50km, 50 miler, 100km, and maybe 100 miles would be goals that I can see myself training towards.
• Provide rides for people out to the mountains. The most luck I have had in meeting new people is through hiking groups, and being on the provider end and being known as someone that regularly hosts I feel can generate a lot more clout, and is seen as more attractive for the purposes of asking people out for dates afterwards if we bonded during the hike.
• Visit family and work remotely more often. I live 500km away from family, but my work allows me to work from anywhere within 1 or 2 timezones, so I could make 1-3 week trips to visit family and work during the day.

However I have the following reservations:

• Getting a vehicle I feel is a dangerous slope of lifestyle creep. Likely at least $3-5k in yearly expenses on top of the purchase cost, pushing retirement at least a few years back
• Getting a vehicle purely for pleasure as I work from home goes against my current frugal nature. What if I don't feel like hiking every single weekend? Sometimes I like just staying in a playing some games or working on a side project. What if I get an injury or it ends up being too smoky?
• The opportunity cost. Is this the best way I would want to spend my money to enjoy life more if I was dedicated to spending it? I could instead spend months in South America doing a bunch of awesome hiking and traveling there.

Has anyone else that was on track for an early retirement give in and decide to start spending more 10+ years out? I currently don't know what I want my retirement to look like, and a house and family is a huge question mark that I feel is so far off as the longest I have dated someone is just 2 months.

Do we have any information on how Tildes growth is going?

I only use Tildes, used to only use reddit until they pulled their bullshit last year. I don't use any social media and I feel like I am missing out on a lot of news and things. When I used reddit I had curated my subs to my interests and I feel like I was up to date on everything I wanted to be.

But now, due to Tildes being a much smaller community, the news I receive is much more generalized and I've been noticing a lot of times I miss things. For example because all video games are clumped together in one Games Tildes, only the most popular kinds of gaming news gets posted there, so more specific or niche things I miss.

Another example, I had never heard of Ozempic before the South Park episode, and a friend was shocked and told me I was so out of the loop for not knowing what it was. I'd never seen anyone talk about it on here, so how would I know?

I also notice there's just significantly less engagement overall on Tildes. I can scroll through the front page of Tildes every morning, see maybe half posts I've already seen and half new ones, and by the end of the day there will be a handful of new posts but not many. In its golden years, Reddit would have new posts every few hours with new info or news about different things. Tildes feels really small still.

Point being, I'm curious how Tildes is doing in terms of growth and whether it looks like it'll be getting larger communities which will split more subcategories into the broad categories we have now. Or if it has plateaued and this is how it'll be for good?

In three days, I will have 7 years clean from opiates including heroin. I've actually been talking about it quite a bit on Tildes recently due to a lot of mental health threads popping up, but outside of this forum, I don't really think or talk about my previous life very often. For me, putting that life in the rearview and disengaging from the recovery community was the best way to stay clean.

However, around anniversaries, I usually take a bit of time to reflect. I consider where I was, where I am now, how I got there, and how I got here. I think about how different my life is now that I have an amazing career, a house, a wife, and a beautiful infant son.

This anniversary, I've been thinking about the Siren's song, the Faustian bargain, the devil in a dress. In other words, I've been thinking about how enticing false promises can be.

I think back to when I had my hydrocodone prescription for a knee injury right around the time I started partying pretty hard - toward the end of high school and early college. The people I started hanging out with were incredible to me. They were early in their addictions, so they were on top of the world. They had jobs, cars, unlimited drugs, and were surrounded by attractive women. They had zero side effects from their drug use and were living a crazy lifestyle that looked more fun than anything I'd ever imagined. They worked all day to pay the bills and sold small amounts of drugs to fund their own habits - use half, sell half at a party. Easy. This was when I started incorporating hydrocodone into my partying routine. I knew I liked opiates, but I didn't know you could be high all the time with zero consequences. (Spoiler alert, you can't. You all know where this is going).

Soon after, I became the guy I thought I wanted to be. I was the one who was carrying around a pharmacy in my backpack and was able to get my hands on any drug you can think of. I had a hundred friends and a million buddies. I was dating and having sex with women who I felt were "out of my league." I was getting my degree, and I was having a ton of fun pretty much every single day and night. When I look back at photos from this time in my life, I still have a hard time believing it was real. I have stories for days. Insane, amazing, hilarious stories. These were some of the best times of my life in many ways. At the time, I wanted it to last forever and thought maybe it could. This was the Siren's song working its magic. I was trapped by this point.

This lasted longer than you'd think. But eventually, I started experiencing withdrawal when I wasn't high. Then I had to start going on more and more "side quests" to get money for drugs since I could no longer satiate the craving by selling half and keeping half. I noticed that the people I once looked up to weren't doing so hot. A few of them overdosed, a few of them got arrested, and a few packed their bags to get away and get clean. My friends either got into drugs with me or distanced themselves.

Things started getting really dark after college. Now I was getting high alone most of the time and the parties were fewer and farther between. Things got really really dark when I was doing crazy shit like driving from NY to Texas without sleeping and buying black tar heroin. I often found myself in the open-air drug market in my city buying drugs at 4 in the morning from people with guns, found myself stealing pills from loved ones, started selling my belongings, crashed two cars, lost three jobs, etc. You get the picture.

If anyone has ever wondered why addicts go to such great lengths to get high, it's mostly because withdrawal is the most unpleasant thing you could ever imagine. Movies and TV don't even begin to show how unbearable it really is. Imagine a full body flu, kicking, shaking, puking and wishing you were dead. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is that your brain literally can't produce happy chemicals, so you can't feel a sliver of happiness or optimism. You can't even remain logical about the situation. Your brain is telling you that life is meaningless and without joy for now and for always unless you get high. Between that and the physical symptoms (both of which last weeks/months) it's way too easy to use the panic button and take a hit, which instantly makes everything beautiful and wonderful again.

I look at my life now and I cannot believe how fortunate I was/am. I managed to escape that hell with no felonies, no diseases, and few long-term consequences. This good luck allowed me to move on and build a better life with fewer obstacles than most. I feel immense sadness for the many others who weren't so fortunate. I can name 10 people I knew personally from those years that ended up losing their lives to fentanyl. I can name many more who have criminal records that make them hard to employ. I know that, of those of us who got clean, there are at least a handful that will continue to struggle, relapse, and possibly die. It's hard to imagine how something that makes you feel so unbelievably good can leave a pile of bodies in its wake.

I tell this story because I have been thinking about three interesting memories/concepts lately:

1. The Siren's Song - something that seemed pure and beautiful was the worst thing to ever happen to me.

2. The incubation period of addiction - this early phase where you found something you love and you want everyone to experience it. This is when addicts are the most dangerous I think. This is when they hook their friends and loved ones by demonstrating to others that they too can manage this amazing life just fine with no consequences. Like a virus, I was already infected and contagious, but since I wasn't showing symptoms, people didn't know to stay away from me.

3. A conversation I had with my drug counselor when I first got clean. I was beating myself up, telling her I blamed myself because I knew better than to get hooked on drugs. She got very serious and said to me, "Stop. Don't ever say that again. You didn't know. You might have heard, but you didn't know. I've seen hundreds of addicts, and none of you knew what you were getting into. If you had known, you wouldn't have done it. Simple as that."

I don't have any deep insights or points to make - just reflecting and wanted to open the floor for discussion. Have any of you ever had any experiences with a Siren's song?

if i chart my life happiness, fulfilment, success over the past four years, the trend is clearly downwards. some clear wins and stretches of improvement, some quite significant, which i am proud of, but overall, i am getting worse and worse and worse. i attribute my problems mostly to two things: severe social isolation, and an extreme deficit of executive function. however i got here, i'm stuck with the fallout

my memory is bad, and my attention shot, so i kind of don't know what's happened emotionally. i know some focal points, though

this past march, i had a major depressive episode, and it feels like i spent most of a week doing nothing but crying, for no reason at all. i'm not sure how i fed myself

at the beginning of 2022, i quit my (very cushy and chill) job, which i had had for a little over a year at that point, because i felt like i was unmotivated and not actually doing work. (the facts are a bit more subtle; it was partly that the work itself was uninteresting to me, and they wanted to work with me to find something for me to do that i would find more interesting. i was going along with that, until a new opportunity appeared, which i jumped for because i wanted to be able to make a clean break. that opportunity immediately fell through.) i had been living with my parents until shortly before, so i had a lot of savings

now, i find myself in a similar situation, only much more dire. a friend got me a job working with smart people on interesting problems. i have not been doing well. i have been extremely uncommunicative. the pattern is clear: i talk to people, flex my technical chops; they are impressed and like me a lot. then i'm not very productive, and my output slowly deteriorates to nil. i think i just can't do wfh tech work. last week was a blur. i don't know what happened at all. i don't think i've checked slack in close to two weeks, and atp i'm a little bit afraid to. two weeks ago, i asked my friend/coworker to poke me every day to make sure i was doing something. it seemed and still seems like a good strategy. and then a day or two after i asked him that i just dropped off the map again

i'm not addicted to drugs or video games. it seems like i ought to be. i am a bit drunk right now, but that is quite irregular

recently, i thought i'd finally made a close friend. this morning, she broke up with me and blocked me for a really really stupid reason. i am really hurt by that, and it makes me feel a bit hopeless about the whole thing. spent the afternoon crying about it and now just feel a bit numb. i give it decent odds she comes back, but. i know one problem i have is putting my eggs in too few baskets. but there are so few baskets that seem worth investing in, and investment is so hard

she suggested i try to get prescribed add medication for my work problems, and was going to give me some illicitly to see if it helped. the latter is not happening anymore, of course. and i cannot stomach the medical system (already i have other things i have been putting off talking to my doctor about for a while), not to mention that it would take forever to do anything for me

i don't know what to do in the short to medium term. i don't know what to say to my work that i haven't said already, other than: clearly, i am just incapable of doing this. i am not super financially stable right now, and being without a job seems like a bad idea

As I write this, I’m using a $10 foot massager from Temu that my wife bought. I thought it was totally stupid but it gets nightly use. We lie on the couch and just let it run.

Edit2: it looks like the LINGTENG one on Amazon - probably white labeled from same factory, nothing special about it but we like the simplicity.

What has anyone else found surprisingly useful?

Edit -

Here are some things that came in mind as I was walking around:

• Different type of mason jar lids from masontops for sprouting, cold press coffee, pouring spout for watering plants, etc.
• ifixit kit - originally used for phone fixing now used for prying random stuff - the Ifixit jimmy is really useful, and it’s great to have all tools in one place
• Shoegoo - originally used for shoe fixing now used for fixing bike parts - time to invest in a glue gun
• YouTube premium - I originally got a family plan so that my mom wouldn’t watch so many ads, but now it’s an integral part of my passive learning system - languages, guitar, sports, etc.
• hydrogen peroxide - I got it for wound disinfecting but it has only ever been used as a stain remover.
• cheap Muji mini umbrella - way more used than my fancy Davek

Edit to add: coop multiplayer is not available on the mobile version, which is the only realistic choice for our current life pattern / technology setup. I do agree it sounds interesting and fun!

My family has recently been on a big Stardew Valley kick. My spouse and I and our daughter are all first time players playing on android, which has no multiplayer mode.

From what I understand about multiplayer, I don't really think it would be good for us. We all play the game in very different ways. However, I think it would be amazing to be able to trade items. No one but me likes going into the mines/caves, and sometimes you just need one of something out of season.

My idea is that there would be a special chest I could put something into and it would be moved out of my game and into one of theirs or vice versa. Obviously, you could mod the game so you can just get any item, but this way somebody still has to get it, so it (hopefully) doesn't undermine the game economy.

I have been looking at the mod community, and it seems like the android version supports mods. I haven't found a mod that does as described. My general path forward is:

• set up a mod that implements the chest and talks to a server via API
• set up a server that can receive and hold incoming "put" and then send those items with the "get" from the client at the other end
• build the API so that it can represent important assets in the game
• come up with a lightweight way to secure the protocol to the intended users (this may depend on how identifiable individual clients are, but could be as simple as putting in a shared secret when creating the chest)

Obviously there are a lot of details to work out, but I wanted to get some wider feedback from people who had been playing the game longer.

• does this already exist and I'm just not aware? I did spend some time searching, but it seems like most mods are either cosmetic or change the in game mechanics in some way.
• would you be interested in something like this?
• what kind of mechanics would you want to see? Maybe a way to propose and accept specific trades rather than just sending items? Would you limit it to your circle of friends or be interested in a wider community?
• have you written or used Stardew Valley mods (especially on android), and if so, what was your experience?

Hey, so there's been an ice buildup in our fridge creeping along the back. After a while it hit the front, and tadaaaa, it finally got bad enough the door didn't close fully... So most everything outside of one big pile of vegetables got defrosted overnight. (On the plus side, I walked into having a nice big pancake breakfast!) We threw out the meats and moved the veggies to our other freezer. This at least let me finally disassemble everything and see what's in there. It looks like this in there:

https://imgur.com/a/YnGB3Zz

When we noticed this was happening a few months ago I turned off the ice maker switch in the back and, but it still kept doing this. There's still a ton of ice in the top tray, and set the temp to the max. But the fridge is right up against the left wall there, making it difficult/impossible to get the trays here out with the door blocking it. Additionally the right side has a dishwasher immediately next to it, so a decent amount of heat goes up the back. Then ALSO I found that big chunk of ice frosted on a pipe, so I wonder if it split? I'm unfamiliar with fridge design, so I don't know exactly what would give me the right answer.

I'm wondering what to do. My thoughts are that I've finally got the bottom tray/shelf/bucket thing out, so I could hammer the shit out of it and at least clear the bottom up... Then if I could get the top tray out I could see if removing all the ice in the top would stop the creep. I'm guessing that's a big fat no. At that point, is it possible to remove the ice module that I actively do not want anyway to see if it fixes anything, or is it integral to the freezer design? And at that point... Should we just get another fridge? Are there fridges without this busto icemaker shit nowadays? Thanks!

So last year, the day after National Cinema Day, I saw this Tildes thread:
https://tildes.net/~movies/19s7/today_is_us_national_cinema_day_what_are_you_going_to_go_see_for_4

Apparently I missed out on the year's biggest discount day... No biggie, I'd go next year!

My phone's calendar said it would be on August 25th 2024, so I set a reminder. I check this morning, and see... normal priced movies?

I look it up, and I see Regal's website hasn't been updated since 2023, 99% of news articles are still about 2023, and the articles about 2024 say either September or October dates. The subreddit for cinema employees as recently as 11 days ago had no clue when it would be.

Does anyone on Tildes know what's going on?

Probably more accurately, I hate that alcohol is treated so lightly in our culture. Its an extremely dangerous drug, yet we rarely acknowledge that. The most you'll hear is "Please drink responsibly" as if that has any influence at all.

What's disgusting to me personally is how it affects families. My bio kids and extended family are not drinkers, a little bit socially but my kids grew up in a 100% dry and sober house. But my wife's kids were the victims, and I use that word accurately, of an alcoholic grandfather who passed along his curse to their alcoholic father. He was an alcoholic who turned into an abusive man who spread his misery and chaos to his whole family. It directly killed his parents and two of his siblings and the remaining two are living miserable lives as alcohol has killed their relationships with their loved ones.

My wife's ex traumatized my stepkids and my wife in ways that are hard to comprehend - it's disgusting unless you understand what a demon that alcohol can be and how much it can f*** up your life and the lives of everyone around you. And then, after causing years of chaos and misery, he took his own life and added even more to their trauma.

Just recently, one of my stepkids realized that they too are an alcoholic. What the hell. That's now the third generation. At least they recognized it "early" because they're not yet in a long term relationship and they don't have kids (thank god) so it hasn't had a chance to completely f*** up their entire future family's life but its definitely caused them significant grief already. I only hope and pray they stick with their new commitment to stop drinking so this curse doesn't pass on to the fourth generation. They've gone to an AA meeting, heard other people's stories and seem to realize how bad it could get, as if their own father's story wasn't enough.

F*** alcohol. Seriously, it just makes me so angry how glibly it's treated. It ruins SO many people's lives, causes SO much pain and yet we live in a society that constantly pushes the message if you want to have a good time you should have a drink. Or two. Just get a little tipsy, why not?.... no one mentions how alcohol can not only totally screw over your entire life but also that of people three generations into the future. Or how millions of people are silently living with alcohol abuse in their families hoping and praying that it doesnt kill someone they love.

Ug. Just. Don't. Drink.

Two weeks ago I decided to cut alcohol out of my life. I have a weird issue though where I don't feel I necessarily relate to other problem drinkers in support spaces online, and I assume would not in-person, because I feel like my habit was never particularly bad. I've never been addicted to the degree where I have to have a drink to function, I never used it as a crutch in social situations, or anything like that. I don't mean this to put anybody down, but I've grown up around alcoholics, and even count myself among that number, but feel I somehow never fell into the worst, and have a hard time walking away from where I was because of it.

To break down my cycles of drinking:

I started with a beer a day. I liked beer, then moved on to drink/include whiskeys and other hard liquors. I'd have 1-3 drinks a night most nights from when I was of legal drinking age and could afford my own alcohol, and have a pace usually of one an hour. I enjoyed the tastes, experimenting with different varieties, and just exploring what was out there from whiskeys, cordials, weird beers, meads, anything.

Then there came a point where I started drinking heavily infrequently but regularly about seven years ago, where half a handle was gone in a week and a half and I had no idea where it went. I didn't black out at all, but would later realize I was drinking it really fast. This continued, I would stop buying hard liquor, and then buy some, and drink it quicker than I should have, rinse repeat.

The thing where I feel conflicted is I feel like I was in control, in a sense. I really enjoyed the alcohol I was drinking and would sip on it over a few hours having glass after glass. For these heavier nights I would wake up with a mild hangover, but it wasn't an every day thing. I would occasionally mess up and drink half a 750ml bottle and regret it, but tone it back down.

As far as cravings, I would crave alcohol like I crave other foods/drinks, like "I really want some Johnnie Walker Black this week" similarly to how I would think "I want a coke." Then I would clear 375ml in three days, and realize I didn't have enough to enjoy until the next paycheck (I generally didn't buy liquor more than once a pay period because I was usually interested in being more intimate with one drink at a time). Similar to how if I eat candy bars regularly I crave them, alcohol is/was the same.

Part of this led me to take a long time to give myself permission to stop drinking. I decided two weeks ago that I just don't need alcohol and sort of just said I'd commit to it, do the "one day at a time" thing. No end time, just never doing it. I feel if there's a deadline, or any conditions to drink, I'll slip back into the patterns I had which weren't entirely self-destructive, but not something I wanted to live with. As far as work functions, I'll just get a soda, mocktail, or water.

As a result, I have also hit a sort of malaise about how different things aren't. I've had dry patches where I chose not to drink, and I don't have a huge recovery story since I wasn't drinking all the time anyway, but going through these sorts of cycles. I don't feel any different because I'm not healing, I'm not going through any withdrawals or detox, I don't have any behavior to feel guilty about, or anything. I feel like a bad alcoholic, in a sense, because I don't have much to run from beyond the problem of "one is too many, two is not enough." I also feel self-conscious about not drinking alcohol, because I'm worried about how to answer if asked why.

I guess, to a point, I'm reaching out because I feel a little alone on this. I'm not sure how to navigate my not-quite sobriety (I still use cannabis edibles on rare occasion, and kava quite frequently, but not regularly). Has anybody else been in a similar situation? How did you navigate it internally?

My dog is really important to me. Without going into much detail, he and I have been through a lot and I’m committed to making his life as good as possible. a couple of years ago we lived in San Francisco and we were happy. Then I moved to the East Coast, spent a year with my parents before starting a PhD. That was not the best experience, it was at the last stage of his adulthood before being elderly, and he got attacked by my mom‘s dog several times and we were in a shitty concrete hell suburbia that had no good places to walk him. I am very sympathetic to how difficult the transition has been.

Finally we have a place to ourselves again, and it sucks. I feel like he’s ruining my life. It’s been upsetting me to the point that I want to scream.

• he will not leave me alone. He needs to be where I am at all times. We live in a modest one bedroom apartment, and you can see every room from any other room. if I go into the bedroom and he’s in the living room, he has to hop off the couch and follow me 15 feet. If I go to the bathroom, he’s laying down outside the door. Because of his arthritis, I wish he would just stay and not walk unnecessarily.

• I take him on one good size walk and two or three small walks per day. these are the most frustrating times of my day. He lags behind me no matter how slowly I go. I have to keep the leash very short so that I don’t have him fearing off left and right. He wants to smell every single thing. He used to, be a good walker and he would stay at my side and come to that position if I signal him to. But in his old age, he just doesn’t listen to me, it’s not a matter of hearing. He completely ignores me.

• if he is not eating, out on a walk, or tearing up a stuffy, he is unhappy. He lays and will now and then sneezes or sighs.

• he has always had this problem where, a sudden loud noise will deeply disturb him. He will shake uncontrollably, and any attempt to soothe him, by talking to him or touching him, just makes him shake worse.

• he hounds me for food. The moment I touched something in the kitchen, he comes.

• I have gotten him several bowls to try slowing down his eating, but he eats like he’s starving. So I have to feed him in small bits, and if the bits are spread apart too far, he starts shaking like he’s being neglected. I have had him tested for diabetes or other issues, his blood work comes back normal.

• he always wants to sleep in my bed, but he does not want me to touch him. If we are sleeping back to back and our hips touch, he gets off the bed. And then he gets back on as soon as he sees a decent opportunity. we used to share the bed, because I have had a California king size bed by myself, and it was fine. But in the last year, it’s just like he hates it.

I have come to hate the sound of his collar jingling. I have nasty thoughts like waiting for the relief of him passing away. Sometime I have an aggressive voice, but I really do always try to keep my voice light and keep his tailwagging in my interactions with him. I’m sure he can sense my agitation though. It has become overwhelming. I don’t enjoy a single moment of our life together.

And I have to work and he needs to be walked several times a day and he will shake if he feels like he’s being neglected in that aspect, so when I have to go run errands, I take him with me, but I can never get anywhere because not only is he naturally slow. He has developed this instinct of lagging behind and he wants to stop and smell everything and it’s just annoying to have to constantly crouch down and Argue with him to get him to move his body. I don’t feel comfortable, forcing him to move, especially because of his arthritis.

Like I said, he used to have good training, but it has all fallen by the wayside and he is old and stubborn.

But this cannot continue. I Don’t believe either of us are happy. I would like some advice on how to effectively train him in the time that I have, I do not have the money to hire a trainer. I also ask that you handle your responses gently; I am extremely upset by this and I am aware of how shitty it sounds of me to speak of him so poorly, but my mental health is falling apart because of the lack of freedom and relaxation that I can find living with him.

I have no intention of rehoming him, and have always been committed to his safety, and comfort and mental and physical happiness. if I rehomed him, it would haunt me, it would devastate me. But I would do it if I believed he would be happier. But I don’t believe he would be, I have left him with my parents and other people in the past, and he just waits vigilantly for me to return.

Edit: I also want to say that I am open to advice on how I can manage myself and my feelings about this

I'm looking for games that I can play and enjoy with my 8 years old son. It doesn't need to be a 2-players game, or even a game that he can play (though if he can take the controller and get actively involved, that's better), but just something that he can enjoy as a "backseat player". We have a Switch, a PC, and a PS4.

tl;dr: "backseatable" adventure-ish games with exploration and a clear direction (different sights to see, and a sense of progression), puzzles (so he feels involved when exchanging ideas), ok with light horror. Low stakes, low stress.

Here are some games that we played together and both liked:

• Outer Wilds: loved it so much we did 2 playthroughs in 2 years. He liked the sights, the exploration/treasure hunt aspect, the puzzles, and he asked me questions about our universe and solar system. He was mostly passive as a player both times we played, but we were sharing ideas and he was making suggestions on what to do/where to go next.
• Link's Awakening remake: we played this one when he was 6 years old, with me taking the lead for the bosses or more complicated puzzles. We finished it together.
• Stanley Parable: I intended to play it alone, but unexpectedly he really liked watching me play.
• Strange Horticulture, Grim Fandango, Day of the Tentacle: he liked solving the puzzles with me, and me explaining/narrating what was happening and why.
• Portal 1 & 2: he was able to play on his own with some help, and the coop levels in Portal 2 were great.
• Deep Rock Galactic: he's making his own story and narrating along while I (and sometimes random players) play normally.
• Human Fall Flat: he loves the slapstick humor and finds better (and more creative) solutions than I do
• Mario Odyssey: probably his GOAT game, the accessibility features helped him a lot to play and enjoy it alone.

He's also taking an interest in light horror (specifically mascot horror) games:

• Garten of Banban series: objectively bad games but he really enjoyed the progression, light puzzles, and the liminal level design.
• Indigo Park: much better production value, mostly a walking sim, but very short.
• The Complex: a free "Backrooms" game. He didn't play it since he wasn't yet comfortable with mouse and keyboard controls, but liked watching me explore around
• Crow Country (demo): he backseated and enjoyed it. There's an "exploration mode" that removes enemies. Will probably buy the full game later.

And some "failed" tentatives:

• Tunic: since he liked Link's Awakening, I thought he might like Tunic, but no. Probably because of a lack of NPCs or clear indications, and the game is too difficult for him. Not fun to backseat.
• Zelda BOTW: he tried to play it when he was a bit too young, and had a hard time with it. I'll probably try again soon.
• Minecraft Dungeons: we played 2-3 games but he got bored of it very quickly.
• Diablo 3: he saw me playing and wanted to try it. He liked it much more than Minecraft Dungeons but hated seeing villagers getting turned into zombies, so we stopped here.
• Sandboxes: not his thing (Minecraft, Terraria, No Man's Sky, Animal Crossing)

So in summary, I highlighted the best experiences we had (with Outer Wilds being the best), and I'm looking for something equivalent.

EDIT - I'll try to keep this post up-to-date with the suggestions we liked:

• Superliminal: Excellent, I wasn't expecting such a good game. He's managing most of it alone, and there's even a (harmless) "scary" section
• Untitled Goose Game: Great suggestion. We actually already played it (not to completion), and he loves honking and absolutely not helping me complete the objectives 😅
• Layton series: I think he tried the first one on my DS for an hour or two. I'll suggest it again and be the backseat player myself.
• Luigi's Mansion 3: GOTY
• Poppy Playtime: mascot horror games, but actually good. Each game is longer and (as of the 3rd one) better than the previous one. The 3rd game is a legit horror game, with a clear inspiration from Silent Hill PT (and others like Bioshock).
• Kirby Forgotten Land: did not enjoy by himself, kinda liked it in coop. I think the cute pink ball is no longer aligned with his current tastes.

Pork bun; pot belly; spare me the tears;
I'm getting on; you're getting old; you're getting off here.
I can't quite tell; it's hard to see; you're somewhere in my mind;
Or is it me? It's hard to see; you're losing—

I think I'll try. No, no, I won't.
This happens sometimes. All the time.
I think. Do I forget?
A half forgotten memory. Still vaguely tinged with some regret

So this is ultimately a very oddball situation. Some background:

I live in a rancher in southern NJ. Fully electrified home.

I had recently installed minisplits to replace some electric baseboard heaters, covering about 2/3 of my home. This was fortunate, as I believe my blower fan in my central AC unit blew out. The minisplits + 1 window unit have actually been cheaper to operate than the old AC unit, so now I have a vestiegal high-velocity central AC system in my attic.

Namely, this means a lot of unused flexible, insulated ductwork and some ferro-fluids in my attic that should probably be blocked off and drained, respectively.

I've been contemplating on how to possibly repurpose some of this stuff to fix one of the biggest blind spots in my home: ventilation and filtering

My one bathroom exhaust fan vents directly into the attic, which is a moisture hell that needs solved.

There's no other ductwork in my home, and pretty much the only time fresh air gets in the house is if we crack windows or open doors.

So the theory is:

I route the bathroom exhausts into the old air handler coils to help capture the moisture and drain it out, then have it mix with some outside air and recirculate it into the house again.

Alternatively, routing some of the air between the attic/crawlspace/attached garage for preconditioning outside air as as well.

Is this insanity, or a remotely plausible idea? I'm fairly handy, and since its sbeing made with vestigial bits in spare time labor cost is much less of an issue than parts.

For the end-user, that is. I'm sure Meta and the like think their algorithms are fantastic at what they want them to do.

I find myself routinely asking why I get so many suggestions I have no interest in when using all types of websites. I haven't used social media since the early years of Facebook, but I imagine most recommendation algorithms are tuned much like the ones on those sites, i.e. to offer more of the same, whereas I'd prefer something to introduce different stuff I'd probably like. Maybe that differentiates me from the average user, but there should be enough people like me that it'd be factored in, no? Just because I watch a cat video doesn't mean I'm all in on cats.

I mostly like Pandora's service but it feels like their music library isn't huge for my fav genres. Steam regularly tries to interest me in the most insipid games based on superficial commonalities to what's already in my library. Youtube can be good, but it can easily be echo-chambery. Shopping websites of all sorts are usually a crapshoot. What gives?

Tis fire season again here in North America and Europe. From my house in coastal California I grieve every year as more of my favorite forests burn, from British Columbia to California.

There is no end in sight for this transition. So what can we do to at least mitigate the worst of its effects? I think the time to play defense over pure "wilderness" is long gone. The forests that haven't burned are still beautiful, but they're riddled with disease and so overgrown the ecosystems are permanently distorted.

Every year there is less pristine forest and more burned land. I'm a fourth generation Californian and the Portuguese side of the family still owns a ranch in the foothills from 1893. But I own nothing and the prospect of being able to afford land in California has forever been beyond my reach. Burned land needs to be rehabilitated in a thoughtful manner. I'm hoping once my daughter finishes college and our life starts a new chapter, that I can find a few acres where I can make the best environmental impact, such as a headwaters, then invite experts onto the land to teach me how to best heal it.

Every year I have this idea, and every year more areas become available (in the worst sense). I don't need to live on this land. I don't expect it to be much more than grasses and saplings for 20 years. I'd get out to it one or two weekends a month, rent some equipment and hire some folks as I could. I also understand that my original thought that this would be immune from future fire seasons is wrong. But at least the land can be designed to be as fire resistant as possible, with a clear understory and single large trees. And that is another part of the allure. This acreage would come with its own challenges for sure, but in some sense it is a blank slate. The permaculture people could show us how to remediate and reconstruct the land from the bones up.

I know this project would be an aggravating money sink, and even perhaps an unrealistic and irresponsible fantasy by someone untrained in forestry management. But there is so much burned land now. Every year another giant 4% stripe of California goes up in smoke. Yet this idea just doesn't catch on. It entails a lot of patience and work. I know it's not what most people want to hear. They want their idyllic cabin in Tahoe or nothing. But that time is quickly coming to an end and learning how to revive the forests that have been devastated is our only real choice.

Whenever I've tried to get serious about this, though, I learn that there is no market in burned land because there is hardly any profit to be made. No real estate agent that I can find is specializing in this because their clients are having to sell ruined land and burned buildings for pennies on the dollar. I've been advised that the best way is to find a specific spot, do my research, and approach the owner directly. But, again, there is so much burned land now I hardly know where to start. The Santa Cruz Mountains? The Sierra adjacent to Yosemite? Crater Lake in Oregon?

Any thoughts or ideas or resources would be appreciated.

Trigger Warnings: parent death, pet death, drowning

Recently my mom passed away in a river accident.
She had brought her service dog (a German Shepherd) with her on a rafting trip with friends. From witness testimony, her raft got caught in some trees and as she was trying to detangle herself, her dog got spooked, and jumped into the river. My mom was tied to the dog, and they ended up drowning. They found both their bodies hours later.

I’m still reeling, and I’m in shock. It’s almost early morning and I still can’t get to sleep. I live in a different country and I need to head back to deal with her affairs. She was a single mother, so it’s up to me to figure things out. I have a lot of support, but it still feels so overwhelming.

I specifically would like any advice on how to deal with the “accident” part of her death. It would be one thing if she had died peacefully in her home. But the reason I can’t sleep is because my brain won’t stop trying to imagine what it must have been like in her final moments. The fear, the struggle, her body washing ashore and just sitting somewhere for hours until they could find her. How she must look like now. I will request they cremate her, the police pretty much recommended I don’t do a final look because of how she died. But the morbid curiosity is just there. I don’t know how to shut it off. I know she wouldn’t have wanted me to ruminate over it, but it’s almost like I’m getting the PTSD on her behalf.

I’m also so angry. Angry at her for thinking it would be safe to bring her dog on a raft. Angry at her for tying herself to said dog. But I realize this is more like “denial/bargaining”. My brain keeps making these angry scenarios where I’m yelling at her not to be so stupid. What would possess her to do something like this? But of course that’s just another part of grief.

I’m rambling, it’s late. (Or rather early?) I’m just really sad and tired. Any words would be appreciated.

So in about two weeks I'll be at a conference for a career path that I've been trying my best to get into for two years. It's a bit niche, having an overlap with science, tech and IT.

As such this conference represents opportunity for me, and given how low my morale is after rejection after rejection after rejection, something I really hope to see some result from.

Does anyone have any tips on how to network at such a conference?

Whenever I come up north to visit my parents my stomach liquefies, my skin breaks out, and my pain and inflammation flare up. Part of me wonders if it's the water? But I've been here for 3 weeks and there's no adjustment.

I leave tomorrow, thankfully, but damn is it a lot to contend with when trying to be present for my parents. There's a lot of baggage from growing up with them, but our adult relationship is solid. Also, my dad has some serious chronic health issues, so I want to be here when I can to help out and spend time with him and my mom, but damn does my body hate it.

What could cause this? Soon as I head back home (way south) things clear up and even out. This can't just be trauma related stress, can it? Could it be tied to the climate difference perhaps? The water? The city pollution?

I live in a very remote place in the desert, whereas here it is very humid and city. I know y'all probably can't give me an answer, but does anyone here have similar experiences, and if so what do you hypothetically link it to? I just want a normal shit, my skin to not have crazy rosatia and flaking and itching, and to not be in constant pain from my underlying health issues when I visit my parents.

I mentioned it to my dr today (rheumatologist) and he didn't really say much in response. So that's no help.

It's hot here in Germany at the moment, and I've found a new hobby: experimenting with different ways to keep the flat cool. Unfortunately, right now I'm doing that mostly on gut feeling, and I'd like to add some data to the mix so I can pretend that this is Serious Research™.

Does anyone know of some good smart thermometers that I can use both inside and out, and that I can regularly take automatic readings off? My main criteria are roughly:

• Reasonably waterproof and battery-powered - I'd like to put at least one on my balcony which isn't covered, so I want to be confident that it survives out there.
• Relatively cheap - I want around 4-6 different thermometers spread around the inside and outside of the flat to see how the sun's position affects the temperature, and I don't want to spend more than around 100€ on this project in total.
• Scriptable - for the data collection, my plan is to be able to run a script on a spare Raspberry Pi to download all of the data and potentially send alerts when something changes or when it makes sense to start opening doors and windows to cool the flat down.
• Not too complicated - looking around, some thermometers seem to require smart hubs and online accounts and things. Ideally, I can avoid all that - I want something that I can connect to from my home network and download data from as I need.

Right now, I've found a few different smart temperature sensors that I can buy off-the-shelf, but these seem to be on the more complicated end of the spectrum, and require central hubs and uploading all the data to clouds and things like that. Ideally I can avoid that. Alternatively, I have some RPi Pico boards at home, so if I can buy some sensors that I can connect to those, I could get those set up more simply. But with the DIY route, I'm worried about weatherproofing, especially if the temperature sensor needs to remain fairly exposed for an accurate reading.

So: do you have any recommendations either for simple smart sensors that I can buy, or for sensors that I could easily stick to a Pico and leave outside for at least the rest of the summer months?

The topic has been on my mind lately and I'm thinking through my feelings. I'd appreciate hearing others' experiences and opinions to help with my approach.

For context, I have several close family members, including a parent, approaching retirement age. As they've been getting their affairs in order, I've been finding myself the recipient of either gifts or posthumous requests, which are sentimental to them but not me.

Its nothing outrageous. Examples of gifts are things like little decorations/mementos/childhood crafts, long held by them but which I've never seen before. In terms of requests, think along the lines of: I'd really love for you to learn X instrument because you're musical, or I'd love for you to take care of X income-generating hobby I started but you like (Im being a little vague).

I want to respect their feelings (even when I'm not overly sentimental) and help them feel comfortable as they get older, but I want also don't want to outright lie (eg, requests I can't promise to keep) or accrue things that, to me, are clutter.

How have you approached this, or similar scenarios with aging or dying loved ones? Did your opinions or feelings change as they continued to age or passed?

Heavily inspired by last week's thread as well as my recent dental health kick, I'm looking for some toothpaste recommendations.

Previously, I used an imported UK version of Sensodyne, because it was the only way to get the version with novomin. I've run out of that stuff and have started using an interesting toothpaste I picked up from a Japanese store called AcessL from Sato Pharmaceuticals. It's got a unique herbal flavor to it that I like in small bits, but it's not great for my tongue because it's actually pretty salty-flavored, which turns me off of it.

So, I'm debating switching to a debit card for daily purchases, since the mental accounting gets confusing with a credit card and it's easier to overspend. The only thing holding me back is the fraud protection that comes with a credit card. Are there any (US) checking accounts/debit cards that match the level of protection you can expect from a credit card? Is such a thing possible?

In our last voting thread, Kindred by Octavia Butler, N K Jemison the City we Became, each earned a high number of votes.

Should we add them to our schedule, or should we hold a new voting thread?

I have withdrawn the recent voting thread until I get responses to this question.

Edited to remove Anathem for length