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    1. Does anyone have experience transforming their boring lawns into more eco-friendly alternatives?

      One of the things I want to do when I purchase a home is not subscribe to the whole lawn culture, not just because I hate lawn care, but because I think they're ugly and boring. I want something a...

      One of the things I want to do when I purchase a home is not subscribe to the whole lawn culture, not just because I hate lawn care, but because I think they're ugly and boring. I want something a little more eco-friendly and more comfortable to be in. I'm thinking fast growing trees, bushes, tall plants, etc.

      Has anyone on Tildes attempted such a conversion? What are some tips you'd recommend?

      76 votes
    2. I'm looking for some career advice

      Apologies if this isn't in line with the spirit of the group/site but I'm just looking for some advice really. I'm 27m and just feel really stuck career wise. I didn't do very well in school and...

      Apologies if this isn't in line with the spirit of the group/site but I'm just looking for some advice really.

      I'm 27m and just feel really stuck career wise. I didn't do very well in school and it took me a lot longer than everyone else to figure out myself. I have a degree in a redundant subject (very niche, no value in any career). Before COVID I was finally able to get my live music photography work off the ground but then that came crashing down. Other than that I mostly only have experience in retail and hospitality, and I've been a manager in both fields.

      I'm looking for a work from home job for multiple reasons, mostly customer success/account management jobs and have had a few interviews too. I even got down to the final 2 for a promising one a few months ago. Every single job basically said that it was only down to my lack of experience compared to other candidates, but they did like me.

      What is there I can actually do to aide this? I'm just worried that the older I get with only retail management work the harder it will be for me to start a real career path. The whole thing is getting me really down and I just don't know what to do.

      Thanks.

      26 votes
    3. Advice on choosing a class to take to meet scholarship requirements

      I am currently frustrated with having to pick another 2 hours of classes to take to maintain eligibility of a scholarship. I can't take any more major (CS) related classes, as I do not have all...

      I am currently frustrated with having to pick another 2 hours of classes to take to maintain eligibility of a scholarship. I can't take any more major (CS) related classes, as I do not have all the prerequisites. I can't take any lower core classes as I have finished them all, from getting my general ed AA degree first. There are little filler electives I can take. One of them being first aid, a class that everyone says I need to take. However I do not want to take that class, it will be online and I had that professor for another online class last semester. I did not like the class at all. It was a read the textbook and answer the questions kind of class with no professor interaction at all. I think the first aid class will be exactly like that as well. There are some 1 hour classes I could choose from, however that would mean 2 more classes to juggle just to meet scholarship requirements. I am frustrated with this for multiple reasons, I'm indecisive, I've been putting it off all summer, and classes will start back very soon (aug 24th). I have tried talking to my family about it, but it ends up being a "you need to get this done" or a "just take the first aid course". They make choosing a class sound so simple when it is not as other stuff to juggle through. With it being so late it adds even more problems, as classes are filled up and deadlines are soon.

      Does tildes have any advice about this? Anything you want to comment or add?

      14 votes
    4. Looking for short beard and face care tips

      I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health...

      I struggle with trichotillomania which is a compulsion to pluck my own hair. Mine is focused primarily on my beard, resulting in unsightly bare patches. I am working through the mental health component of this condition already, but a better hair and skin care regiment could help reduce the triggers that start me plucking hairs.

      I keep my beard relatively close cropped to my face. When the hairs in my bald patches start to regrow there is typically a lot of irritation which starts me touching my face, which leads me to find bumps like zits and blackheads and “weird hairs”, like kinky hairs, hairs growing in the wrong direction, particularly hard or soft hairs, anything that feels off when I run my fingers over them. This has the side effect of depositing more dirt and oils from my fingers onto my face, which creates a kind of feedback loop where the dirtier my face is the more I want to touch it, and the more I touch it the dirtier it gets. When I encounter these bumps and weird hairs I will want to pick at them and I won’t stop thinking about it until I do. It is a real struggle that I am working through and I figure if I can reduce that irritation that triggers it I’ll be less likely to touch and therefore pluck.

      What I am hoping to find here are general care tips I can use for my short-cropped beard. What kind of products do you use for both the hairs themselves and your face, what methods do you use to trim, etc.? Currently I wash my face with a cleanser, followed by a toner, then a serum or lotion, but I don’t use any products specifically for my beard hairs themselves. I trim with an electric razor when my beard is between .5 and 1 inches long and I’ll trim it down to about 1/8 of an inch, or whatever setting 7, 8, or 9 is on my razor.

      17 votes
    5. New users: Ask your questions about Tildes here! (v2)

      At over 600 comments and over a month old, v1 of the questions thread is due for retirement. Here’s a new, fresh one for all the users we are continuing to get. We have a lot of new users joining...

      At over 600 comments and over a month old, v1 of the questions thread is due for retirement. Here’s a new, fresh one for all the users we are continuing to get.


      We have a lot of new users joining the site. Welcome to Tildes!

      This thread is for you to ask any question you have about the site, from “what is the moderation philosophy?”to “what does that blue line next to some comments mean?” to “what is the general vibe like here?” Tildes has a lot of documentation, history, and embedded social norms that can be daunting or opaque at first glance, so here’s your opportunity to get help with anything you need.

      Questions about anything and everything are fair game. Follow-up questions are encouraged! No question is too simple.

      Also, a quick note: the only person who can speak in any official capacity on Tildes is our admin @Deimos. Everyone answering who is NOT him is just a helpful community member!

      It is perfectly okay to ask any question — even if you think it’s been asked before, or even if you didn’t search for an answer beforehand. Just ask away, and someone will answer you!

      96 votes
    6. Aspiration vs Amalgamated Bank (ethical banking)

      Does anyone here have any experience with Aspiration or Amalgamated bank? I am interested in opening a new credit account and can't seem to decide which one to pick. I've picked these two because...

      Does anyone here have any experience with Aspiration or Amalgamated bank? I am interested in opening a new credit account and can't seem to decide which one to pick.

      I've picked these two because of their environmental commitments, but I'm leaning towards Amalgamated since it's based in the East Coast.

      Edit: Unfortunately, Beneficial is only in the West

      6 votes
    7. I'm generally confused about dating women

      Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it...

      Tale as old as time, I suppose. Straight man doesn't understand women. I'm hoping this site will provide a healthy place to discuss my feelings and get wholesome input from others without it turning into a pity party or cesspool.

      I didn't have any interest in dating until after I'd graduated college. Unfortunately, I immediately moved to an area of the country notorious for its unfavorable gender ratio. There are many more men than women here which means I'm starting on hard mode. I do at least have some traits which make things easier than for most. I am high earning, reasonably fit (not super cut but I work out most days), tall and I believe mentally healthy. However I can tell that my approach doesn't really catch with most people.

      I've had limited success out here. Some of my failures are mine to own. Getting started from nothing means I'm venturing into the unknown. I'm a naturally anxious person and never felt any intuition in social situations. Thankfully I've managed to figure out a way of being that jives with some people and learned the hard way the things I do that don't jive so well. But dating seems to have its own social rules - and they're harder to learn due to all of the misinformation.

      To sort out a lot of the misinformation I look to the people I see with the greatest degree of success. The older couples that are clearly deeply happy. My parents do pretty well in that regard. They've been married for 30-ish years with nothing more than a short argument between them. Or maybe I'll talk with an older co-worker who loves his wife the same way he did decades ago. People say that all happy families are the same, and unhappy families each broken in their own way. It's clear that there are some things in common with the happy couples - a universal recipe for happiness and success.

      • Forgiveness
      • Consistent effort
      • Flexibility
      • Similar values

      I try to take these virtues with me when dating.

      Of course, mutual attraction is a black box and also plays an important role. I've tried dating women that are just outside of what I would consider attractive. I think it's important to know what truly is important to me. But I found that things did not feel right and I can't compromise in that way. I'm not looking for a 10. But if I know they are not attractive to me it won't work.

      In the normal world (outside of online dating) I think the odds of a random person being instantly notably attractive are very low. Someone needs to be sufficiently aesthetically attractive, but also have the right mind and soul. Without the latter two I have no interest. So for me when I've met a nice woman from a dating app the process of learning more about this person begins - and it can take a while to truly get to know someone. But I draw on the virtue of effort and am more than willing to make that an active process as we get closer.

      There are actually some people out there that this all seems to align with. I think it's mostly a matter of time before I find the right person - so I'm not entirely discouraged. But the vast majority of women I meet seem to have the same feedback. They don't feel a connection - maybe that translates to "they're not attracted enough to me", maybe it's something else. But what I call a "connection" is something that can't be absolutely determined after one date.

      Given my profile pictures are representative of my appearance, I don't think they're all saying I'm aesthetically unattractive to them. Sure, some might decide after meeting me that they aren't as attracted in person. I experience that for myself some of the time. But I suspect that much of the time this is more of a mismatched approach. I really want to know either how better to find my kind of person, or what ways I can adapt to be flexible for the women I'm dating.


      Edit: Thank you everyone for your thoughts!

      A lot of people said a lot of things, many of which sounds right to me but only a few I think are applicable as next steps.

      1. My own reflection leads me to believe that being more present and less analytical will make dates more enjoyable and productive for both people.
      2. Keeping a very long term goal in mind cripples the dynamic of early dating. It requires future prediction abilities beyond what a human can do.
      3. I don't know if I can be the "fun guy" all the time but I can definitely increase the amount of fun.

      I wrote up a journal entry about what I wrote here and everyone's responses. I'll bring up my thoughts with my therapist later. Maybe this is weird but I threw the journal entry into ChatGPT. If nothing else it was positive and cheerful, which is helpful. But I was able to drill down on a few different things and got answers that sound reasonable. This is surely a common enough topic that it's got good training data for it.

      I'd also like to say, for whoever reads my comments, that much of what I wrote is more about following a thought as far as it will go more so than putting my internal constitution into writing. I'm here to be as malleable as I need to be.

      70 votes
    8. Night-shifters of Tildes, what tips do you have?

      In a few weeks I'm starting a new position at work that will be 7p-7a, 2 days in a row (each week, so work for 2 days, off for 5). It'll be a sort of "on call" type position that will have busier...

      In a few weeks I'm starting a new position at work that will be 7p-7a, 2 days in a row (each week, so work for 2 days, off for 5). It'll be a sort of "on call" type position that will have busier spats at the beginning and end of the shift, but the middle tends to be slow, occasionally no work at all. My employer doesn't have any major restrictions as far as work downtime, I have a lot of freedom there.

      What tips do y'all have for managing sleep surrounding overnight shifts, and also maintaining alertness/awakeness during the overnight shifts?

      30 votes
    9. Do you use a puzzle mat for jigsaw puzzles? Is it necessary?

      I've been doing some high-ish quality wooden jigsaw puzzles, and I'm a bit worried about them getting damaged, so I'm using a puzzle mat. And...I hate it, so much. It's crazy hard to move...

      I've been doing some high-ish quality wooden jigsaw puzzles, and I'm a bit worried about them getting damaged, so I'm using a puzzle mat. And...I hate it, so much. It's crazy hard to move completed sections around if you need to rearrange, which is often an issue since i always solve without looking at the image. This is the primary irritation, but it's significant, and there's also some secondary irritations like the board is just kinda annoying to deal with and it's itchy lol.

      So, to people who do jigsaw puzzles, how do you protect your pieces? Do you use a puzzle mat? Something else? Just do it on a hard surface and all is fine?

      (also meta-note: this is my first topic post here so I hope I've done this correctly, tell me if I haven't!)

      15 votes
    10. What are some ways I can make my Illegal Slivers EDH deck more illegal?

      Hey there! I posted this on r/magictcg a while back, but I've seen and received many new ideas for cards and I'd love to see if you have any new ones. I had my Japanese copy of Sliver Queen in my...

      Hey there! I posted this on r/magictcg a while back, but I've seen and received many new ideas for cards and I'd love to see if you have any new ones.

      I had my Japanese copy of Sliver Queen in my wallet for years because my friend found it for $2 in a bargain bin, and I thought I could just buy another - not knowing it was Reserve List. Whoops. So I decided to build an Illegal Slivers EDH deck where every card is somehow not quite legitimate, with a few restrictions - no power 9, no OG duals, and if I can help it try to make as much variety between restrictions as possible, all while trying to keep it as a legitimate deck that aims to use Queen as the wincon. But I'm only about a quarter of the way there. Here's what's up:

      • Cards from other games with the same or similar names are used; Swamp from Wyvern, Island from Dominion, Ancient Tomb from Pokemon, Xiahou Dun the One-eyed from Wixoss, Karoo from One Piece, Duel Masters copy of Muscle Sliver...

      • I'm using relevant illegal MtG prints - World Championship decks, Mystery Booster playtests, an art copy of the Unearth Sliver I keep forgetting the name of, silver borders / acorns, etc. Also Clickslither (from Legions!) instead of Quick Sliver (from Legions!).

      • I was looking for a Wheel of Fortune tarot card before I found that lööps sticker and decided to go with that.

      • My favorite is that someone originally stole the shipment of Crystalline Sliver promos before they were going to give them out... So if you had a copy of it at one point, it was literally-illegal stolen goods. Eventually they retrieved them and distributed them.

      I've got other ideas, and I'm trying to break each rule. Looking for:

      • The best single thing from the ban list

      • Lutri as companion, or one card used twice

      • One ante card

      • Planechase and Conspiracy

      • The card Unquenchable Fury, to be confused with Unquenchable Fury

      • A 30th Anniversary card

      • Some oversize cards as regular-size proxies

      • An AI generated Sliver as a proxy

      • Some configuration of Unfinity Stickers to make a new Sliver card of my own

      • A World's Smallest for something like a Night's Whisper

      • An Armageddon trading card for Armageddon, a Hearthstone from WoW TCG, a Force of Will from L5R TCG, a whole bevy of cards from LotR card game... I still also need Sliv-Mizzet.

      And once this is all done... Find 100 different card sleeves to wrap these in. I'd also love - LOVE - to get the Queen graded and still use it as my Commander.

      So, Tildes - how else can I make this deck even worse? Thanks!

      21 votes
    11. Help with educational resources - Non bio parents reveal

      Does anyone know of any good resources for helping kids understand when their dad is not their bio dad? My brother is not his eldests bio dad. Some bullying/ nastiness means my Bro and his Mrs are...

      Does anyone know of any good resources for helping kids understand when their dad is not their bio dad? My brother is not his eldests bio dad. Some bullying/ nastiness means my Bro and his Mrs are sitting the kid down today (on an expedited schedule) to tell him and explain hes not a mistake etc. Are there any good educational bits anyone might know of?

      8 votes
    12. T20 bits and screws, what am I doing wrong?

      I am putting a new surface on my Deck. I am using Trex and 2.5" composite specific screws. These are small head screws with a T20 torx bit. [img]https://i.ibb.co/MchtXPx/20230628-175119.jpg[/img]...

      I am putting a new surface on my Deck. I am using Trex and 2.5" composite specific screws. These are small head screws with a T20 torx bit.

      [img]https://i.ibb.co/MchtXPx/20230628-175119.jpg[/img]

      I am 7.5 boards in out of 25 boards and I have destroyed 5 bits, 3 of them brand name impact rated bits. I am making sure to stay cammed in, and weight on top of the screw. I am lining the drill up with the angle of the screw. I am also predrilling every hole.

      I feel like I have to be doing something wrong. I just don't know what else to do.

      Edit - these are the exact screws I am using - https://www.homedepot.com/p/Grip-Rite-9-x-2-1-2-in-Brown-Star-Drive-Pan-Head-Coarse-Composite-Deck-Screw-10-lbs-Pack-N212CSB10BK/207193648

      16 votes
    13. Where can I find translated Japanese light novels?

      I have dug around the net for a little while now, and other than direct purchase from Japan I am having trouble finding light novels. Specifically for several anime series I liked and want to read...

      I have dug around the net for a little while now, and other than direct purchase from Japan I am having trouble finding light novels. Specifically for several anime series I liked and want to read the originals for. Anyone know where I can find light novels in general for purchase or otherwise?

      12 votes
    14. An American traveling to Spain/Portugal

      I am taking my 70 year old mother on a guided trip to Spain and Portugal. She is very excited. The trip starts in Barcelona, goes down the cost and over to Lisbon and Porto and then ends in...

      I am taking my 70 year old mother on a guided trip to Spain and Portugal. She is very excited. The trip starts in Barcelona, goes down the cost and over to Lisbon and Porto and then ends in Madrid. We then plan on taking a train to the coast. Before going back to Barcelona and traveling home

      I have three main questions

      1. Can I bring my unlocked pixel 5a and add a secondary sim card? How does that work?
      2. Are there any must have items I should pack that I may not think of?
      3. Anyone have any advice for me?

      This is my first trip to mainland Europe, and probably her last international trip so I want it to be easy, stress free and memorable.

      23 votes
    15. Advice for a few days in Atlanta please

      This will be my first time there. We are interested to visit the Carter Center and the Martin Luther King center but haven't finalized plans. Lodging is taken care of. Is there food you highly...

      This will be my first time there. We are interested to visit the Carter Center and the Martin Luther King center but haven't finalized plans. Lodging is taken care of. Is there food you highly recommend? Other sightseeing?

      Thanks!

      17 votes
    16. Thinking about a short-term lease in Hawaii, specifically Honolulu

      My lease is ending within the next two-three months and I have been trying to plan my next steps. My goal has been to buy a house (and hopefully coincide with my lease ending) but the more I have...

      My lease is ending within the next two-three months and I have been trying to plan my next steps. My goal has been to buy a house (and hopefully coincide with my lease ending) but the more I have been looking at inventory, the more I have been hesitating about that commitment. I currently am a full time remote worker who can live in any US state at any given point.

      I found that I can find a short term rental (60-90 days) in downtown Honolulu and am finding myself increasingly interested in the prospect. I have never visited Hawaii, and while I was recently married, we never actually went on a honeymoon because we are saving for a house. The rental I would choose would be ~$2300 a month, fully furnished and utilities included. I of course would have additional cost to consider, such as needing to put all my furniture in storage and paying rent on the locker. In addition, I would not have my car so I would need to find a decent place that is walking distance to life necessities.

      This option would not make me broke, but it would cost me additional money. If I bought a house now, I would probably have to hold off on any big vacations for awhile, and Hawaii was on our list to go to in the next 5 years.

      So just curious, what are your thoughts? Would this be a good way to spend my winter or would the burden of not having a car be difficult in Hawaii? Any other things I need to think about?

      13 votes
    17. Any advice for getting through a puppy fear period?

      My poor beautiful boy is really going through it at the moment. He's just shy of 5 months and puberty is hitting him like a truck - he's lost two of his puppy teeth in a week, his adult coat is...

      My poor beautiful boy is really going through it at the moment. He's just shy of 5 months and puberty is hitting him like a truck - he's lost two of his puppy teeth in a week, his adult coat is coming through in patches and now he's suddenly becoming terrified of people with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

      Strangers (even strangers we walked past 30 minutes ago with no issue), family members that he'd spent the last 4-5 hours around on a visit and yesterday even my partner who's been there since day 1 and takes him out on walks and plays with him every day! It's not constant either; when my partner tentatively came downstairs to go to work this morning it was all smiles and waggy tails like nothing had happened.

      I understand this is a pretty normal stage in a dog's development so we've just got to try and endure it until it passes. I've tried leash corrections and moving away, getting him to focus on me and rewarding him when he does, as well as inching closer and getting the scary person to throw treats at a distance when that's feasible. I know teaching him sit/ down would be extremely helpful and we're prioritising that.

      I've also booked a 1-2-1 training appointment for the end of this week so hopefully a professional can help us figure things out but I'm hoping to hear from any fellow puppy owners. How did you cope with fear periods? Any tips?

      Edit to specify: he's a belgian shepherd. We've had him for just over 5 weeks now.

      Thank you so much everyone for your comments so far! The big theme is tiredness so I'm starting to get a plan of action together for dealing with this today:

      • light physical activity, training and brain games in the morning/ afternoon
      • main physical activity after work to get him good and tired
      • keep an eye on his energy levels and try to create some structured naptimes

      Also:

      • carefully consider puppy classes
      • if we have to go visiting, take familiar bedding
      • rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat

      We'll go to the park again straight after work as we always have in the spirit of consistency and hopefully get good and weary before my partner gets back tonight.

      19 votes
    18. London and possibly Paris by Eurostar. Tips and advice?

      I am taking a trip soon to London and will possibly be adding a couple days in Paris. It's been a hot minute (few years) since visiting the UK and would like to solicit some timely advice and...

      I am taking a trip soon to London and will possibly be adding a couple days in Paris. It's been a hot minute (few years) since visiting the UK and would like to solicit some timely advice and tips. One thing that comes to mind: How important is it to carry cash? Would I need to pay London and Paris street vendors or any shops with cash or will a card with no exchange fees suffice? While we will of course be visiting some tourist attractions like museums, most of our time will be taken up with book stores, record shops, food and coffee shops.

      14 votes
    19. Suggestions for updating a fitness tracker?

      (US) My Fitbit Charge 2 is on her last legs. I'm torn between looking at a smart watch, a smarter fitness tracker, or something at relatively the same level. I have a Pixel and don't use the Apple...

      (US) My Fitbit Charge 2 is on her last legs. I'm torn between looking at a smart watch, a smarter fitness tracker, or something at relatively the same level. I have a Pixel and don't use the Apple ecosystem but really don't know what route to go.

      Mostly I like the reminder to move, step tracking, and the simple notifications on the Charge 2. I don't need to answer my phone on my watch, I think, but seeing that it's my partner calling is a big deal. But I also could be that person desperately waiting to discover smart watches and fall in love with them, I suppose.

      Longer battery life would be preferable as remembering to charge things is a less than fun side-quest. And I doubt I'd be using GPS on it. But again, maybe I would? Open to all suggestions.

      18 votes
    20. Guidance on using my camera

      Hello, I have had the Sony ZV-1 for a while, and i was wondering if anyone had any experience with it - namely video stabilization. I feel like even with Active SteadyShot turned on in the...

      Hello,

      I have had the Sony ZV-1 for a while, and i was wondering if anyone had any experience with it - namely video stabilization.

      I feel like even with Active SteadyShot turned on in the settings, the footage is relatively shaky, and I like to think I have a relatively stable hand. Would using a gimbal of some sorts eliminate most of the shakiness of the footage without having to apply the in-camera stabilization?

      10 votes
    21. Condensation / damp from garage floor. Can it be fixed?

      I've got a basic garage in the backyard - essentially a sheet metal shed with a concrete floor. It would have been built in the 1980s so I doubt the concrete slab had a water barrier - or if it...

      I've got a basic garage in the backyard - essentially a sheet metal shed with a concrete floor. It would have been built in the 1980s so I doubt the concrete slab had a water barrier - or if it did it probably wore away over time.

      When we have wet weather, the concrete gets damp underneath items on the floor - like rubber mats etc. There's also some mineral staining. Doing some reading online, it looks like concrete efflorescence.

      I'm considering demolishing the shed and building a better workshop (insulated etc.) on the existing concrete slab. Can I make the existing slab a usable floor by sealing it with something like epoxy? Or would I be better off using the slab as a footing and building the new structure on posts with a separate floor suspended above the slab?

      My goal is to avoid getting any damp or mould in the new structure.

      8 votes
    22. How does one create prints for canvas paintings?

      If i have a lot of acrylic on canvas paintings and I want to produce prints to sell, where do you make the prints? Local Kinko's/staples? Clear plastic bag or no? Brief artist blurb at the back?...

      If i have a lot of acrylic on canvas paintings and I want to produce prints to sell, where do you make the prints? Local Kinko's/staples?
      Clear plastic bag or no? Brief artist blurb at the back? Post card?

      Have you ever bought a print? What made you want to buy it or what stopped you, and what would have made it go from no to yes?

      11 votes
    23. How to deal with a deep-rooted feeling of apathy?

      My mind is way annoying to listen to and I don’t like it! I'm 45 years old and I have a hard time coming to term with the fact that the majority of my life---the one which supposedly should had...

      My mind is way annoying to listen to and I don’t like it!

      I'm 45 years old and I have a hard time coming to term with the fact that the majority of my life---the one which supposedly should had been my golden years---lies in the past. I know I'm still alive but I just can't drum up much enthutiasm for an existence which I mostly see as sad leftovers of something which wasn't worth much either. I simply don't care much. I can distract myself for some time, but I have this deep feeling that, well, what's the point.

      And I can ignore it, for some time. But ignorence can only go so far. At some point you need some hope, some sliver of meaning and purpose. And I just don't see it.

      And this is all awful impractical, because whenever I try to strive for anything, my brain just goes, “narh, why bother struggle when it doesn’t lead to anything”

      Is there any clever way to turn stuff like this around? Some NLP stuff to nudge me towards a less self-defeating mindset?

      59 votes
    24. Has anyone administered fecal microbiota transplant (FMT) to help with their dog's gastrointestinal issues?

      I have a cavalier king charles spaniel that has had some unfortunate health issues for the past few years. The most pressing one that I haven't been able to nail down and fix is her GI issues....

      I have a cavalier king charles spaniel that has had some unfortunate health issues for the past few years. The most pressing one that I haven't been able to nail down and fix is her GI issues. Every now and then, she has an all night bout of diarrhea even though the only food she has eaten is her hydrolyzed protein dog food. I remember reading about FMT years ago for people who had GI issues and I'm wondering what the results have been for dogs (and other animals). It seems counter intuitive to fight shit with more shit, but at this point I am willing to try most non-invasive treatments. While taking her to the dog park and asking other dog owners if my dog can eat their dog's poo would be the cheapest option, instead I found a site that purportedly has capsules available.

      https://doggybiome.com/dog-products-for-diarrhea/

      However, because it is difficult to find more information about this company and because I don't want imagine how this type of business (if it worked) could scale up as an industrial factory farm, I am skeptical.

      Any thoughts on treating IBD in dogs for an allergy prone, and sensitive dog? She is already getting fiber and she sometimes gets probiotic with her food.

      8 votes
    25. Advice on cataloging antique historic photos

      Hey all! (If this is the wrong place for this, please feel free to reassign) During the winter months I can't get out to do much photography, but I love darkroom printing. Last winter I started...

      Hey all!

      (If this is the wrong place for this, please feel free to reassign)

      During the winter months I can't get out to do much photography, but I love darkroom printing. Last winter I started buying antique photo negatives on ebay to have something to print.

      It's been amazing! Many are from the 20's, 30's and 40's, with one set (of glass plates) having been manufactured pre-20th century!

      I don't know how many I have, but it must be somewhere around 300-500 negatives. Currently they are stored in their original envelopes from the labs that developed them nearly 90 years ago, but that's not a good long term option. I love history, and I want to do this right, but I feel a bit overwhelmed with the volume.

      Data I'd like to keep track of:

      • The name of the person on the envelope the negative came from
      • The date on the envelope
      • The approximate date taken (if known)
      • Ideally the specific envelope it came from

      I'm going to try and store these in a binder of some sort, though that presents it's own challenges since it won't be possible to find sheets with sleeves that are the right size for the negatives. But that's a problem for me to solve haha. I've never had to index/catalog physical media before, so I'm pretty clueless on where to start.

      More than anything it's really important to me to preserve this history in a safe way. For many of the people these pictures may be the only trace on earth that they ever existed, and I want to respect that.

      9 votes
    26. If I want to bulk up a box of cake mix or muffin mix, do I need to add extra eggs/oil?

      For example, if I want to add ground flax to a brownie mix or oats to muffins? What if I want to add some extra dried blueberries to boxed blueberry muffin mix? The box instructions usually say...

      For example, if I want to add ground flax to a brownie mix or oats to muffins? What if I want to add some extra dried blueberries to boxed blueberry muffin mix? The box instructions usually say 1/4 cup of oil and 1 egg, and I'm wondering if I need to double both or either if I want to add some more dry ingredients. Or is there maybe a max level at which I don't need to add extra oil/eggs, like a quarter cup at most of oats?

      I know baking is a science and ratios are important, but still it'd be nice to have a way to make storebought convenience mixes a wee bit more filling or healthier. I'm used to substituting applesauce for oil in brownies, but I'm curious what else I could do with a storebought mix.

      17 votes
    27. ADHD friends, how do you organize your clothes?

      I'm failing. My usual tricks aren't working and I don't know what to do with my clothes anymore. One of my ADHD symptoms is that needs to see everything. My "pantry" is open shelves in my kitchen....

      I'm failing. My usual tricks aren't working and I don't know what to do with my clothes anymore.

      One of my ADHD symptoms is that needs to see everything. My "pantry" is open shelves in my kitchen. Everything in the fridge is up near the front of the shelves. I have a giant desk so I can spread out when I'm working. I need to see it all at all times.
      So the issue becomes, how do I do that with clothes. My alligator brain wants them all over the floor so I can see everything. That's not gonna work lol. I used to be good with a closet with no doors, but my new apartment isn't laid out in a way I can do that.

      Does anyone have any interesting clothes storage advice? The clutter is stressing me out, so I need to figure out whatever my new system is going to be.

      27 votes
    28. How do I get started in self hosting?

      I'm curious on how to get started in self hosting. I have computer experience, being an Android Developer, but I hardly have experience in Linux and backend/networking work. I've been wanting to...

      I'm curious on how to get started in self hosting. I have computer experience, being an Android Developer, but I hardly have experience in Linux and backend/networking work.

      I've been wanting to start up a Plex/Jellyfin server for a while, and I have an old system sitting around with a Ryzen 1700 with a graphics card in there as well that's been begging for attention, and maybe I can throw on a Minecraft server in there as well. Since I travel a bunch, it would be nice too to be able to access my media for when I'm traveling, or to let my parents or friends access some shows if they so desire!

      What I'm worried about is exposing my network to the internet basically. I used to run a Minecraft server with port forwarding and such on a personal computer but now I'm realizing that that's probably a bit unsafe lol.

      Basically, are there any guides that I can look at, or any of your own experiences that could potentially help me or anyone who's interested?

      28 votes
    29. Any idea on running a (very) small silent disco system?

      For the last few summers I've tried (and failed) to get a silent disco system working for a small group of friends. The requirements are Anyone should be able to join (locally) with a phone and a...

      For the last few summers I've tried (and failed) to get a silent disco system working for a small group of friends. The requirements are

      1. Anyone should be able to join (locally) with a phone and a pair of bluetooth headphones. With the absence of headphone jacks I've found most people rely on bluetooth headphones.
      2. Low enough latency.
      3. Decent enough audio fidelity.
      4. No weird monetized apps you have to sign in to.

      In a post covid age where we all had low latency video calls, it seems crazy there isn't an obvious way to have <10 people connected to one 128kbps audio stream. Here are the shortcomings

      • Most silent disco systems (for events) use FM to broadcast to FM receivers. Broadcasting without a license is technically illegal, but easy enough to do. The lack of wired headphones means most phones no longer support receiving FM frequencies, as they used the headphone wire as an antenna. It's not ideal checking up on everyone's phone models to see whether or not they support FM ahead of time.

      • Throughout covid we used Discord to listen to music together many miles apart. The trouble is bluetooth does not have enough bandwidth for speakers and a microphone. So - those with wired headphones it worked perfectly, but with bluetooth headphones the audio drops to landline phone quality, far below what's listenable. Discord supports 'Stage' calls where some participants are talking and others are only listening. Unfortunately this doesn't disable the microphone for the audience, and so the audio is still poor.

      • Lastly is streaming. This solves everything above but the latency is too high. Using software called 'Stream What You Hear' allowed us to create a webpage with a stream running, but each person could be many seconds ahead or behind depending on when they loaded the stream. Attempts to sync everyone up would fail if someone accidentally locked their phone.

      I'm wondering if the solution is going to have to be a bit more technically minded, which I'm open to investigating, but wondered if anyone here had any ideas to bounce.

      Thanks in advance!

      EDIT: I tried SnapCast as recommendation by @arch and it seems to do exactly what I was setting out to achieve, and FOSS software too! Thanks to everyone for their suggestions and help, I'm really excited to trial it.

      23 votes
    30. Advice on contact lenses causing red eyes

      Hi, I started trialing contact lenses (toric lenses, specifically) about a month ago, and have had a problem with them making my eyes seriously red. I've tried 3 different brands of contacts now,...

      Hi, I started trialing contact lenses (toric lenses, specifically) about a month ago, and have had a problem with them making my eyes seriously red. I've tried 3 different brands of contacts now, and the issue has persisted across all three. Has anyone else had a similar experience and figure out how to manage it? Thank you!

      12 votes
    31. Pop!_OS hardware compatibility

      I want to upgrade my gaming setup, but I want to move towards a desktop replacement laptop for the compact form factor to free up desk space or even get rid of a desk altogether. I also want to...

      I want to upgrade my gaming setup, but I want to move towards a desktop replacement laptop for the compact form factor to free up desk space or even get rid of a desk altogether. I also want to try out Pop!_OS since I know it has good Nvidia drivers and that most games are compatible with Linux nowadays.

      Has anyone had any experience with switching to Pop!_OS from Windows? What is software compatibility like? Pros and cons?

      Also is anyone here using an 18 inch gaming laptop? I'm interested in huge laptops since I'm not really planning on taking it on the go.

      10 votes
    32. First time building a PC, need some advice

      I'm looking at starting to do a PC build and I'm a bit lost on which way to go CPU wise. Proposed use case: linux, some gaming (usually older games), possibly trying to learn home lab/self hosting...

      I'm looking at starting to do a PC build and I'm a bit lost on which way to go CPU wise.

      Proposed use case: linux, some gaming (usually older games), possibly trying to learn home lab/self hosting types of things probably in a VM but nothing really heavy. I do want to run Starfield when it comes out and maybe be able to try VR some time in the future.

      I'd like to have a bit of a future proof system while getting value for my money, as in I'd like to spend less but I will spend more if it matters. This is where I'm sort of getting lost.

      I tend to lean towards Intel because VM's and multitasking should work better (I think) but people seem to believe that AMD is better bang for the buck?

      I feel like I'm likely not going to swap CPU's, but RAM, GPU, and storage are easy to swap so I'm not to worried.

      25 votes
    33. What are your best cleaning tips?

      I’ve always been a bit nervous of bleach. My white counters in the kitchen have been picking up stains, so I bought some bleach and have left it to sit. Hooray, the stains are gone! BUT. Then I...

      I’ve always been a bit nervous of bleach. My white counters in the kitchen have been picking up stains, so I bought some bleach and have left it to sit. Hooray, the stains are gone!

      BUT. Then I googled some bleach tips and discovered that you absolutely shouldn’t use undiluted bleach on your counters because it can ruin them 🤦🏻‍♀️

      I didn’t pick up a lot of cleaning knowledge from my parents, and it’s been a lot of trial and error (so much error) figuring out how to keep everything clean enough. Now I have schedules and products and I do a pretty good job of it, but I moved out of home at 18 and I’m now 36 so it’s been literally half my life getting to this point.

      So… what cleaning tips and tricks do you have? What product (remember to specify which country you’re in!) can you absolutely not do without? What products can be used for something unusual? Let’s hear it!

      80 votes
    34. How can I leave Reddit?

      I tried finding other alternatives to reddit, which is what got me here. I still love the content of the subs that I followed and am not wanting to really step away. I'd like to as a matter of my...

      I tried finding other alternatives to reddit, which is what got me here. I still love the content of the subs that I followed and am not wanting to really step away. I'd like to as a matter of my own principles... but I still want it. So much knowledge has been amassed on that platform.

      Do you guys still mess with reddit regularly? If not, how?

      82 votes
    35. Asking advice re search engines, search technique

      So, in the past, I have been able to find new poems I enjoy by reading a critical essay about poetry and taking the referenced poem and author and typing the information into Google search. It...

      So, in the past, I have been able to find new poems I enjoy by reading a critical essay about poetry and taking the referenced poem and author and typing the information into Google search. It used to be that that technique turned up a copy of the text of the poem and typically more poems by the author 95 percent of the time for me.

      This year, when I try that same technique, Google gives me general reference articles about the life of the poet, or news about celebrities with similar names (not the same name at all), or just no search results. Does anyone know what happened? Can anyone help me use the internet to find new poems again?

      Thanks very much

      21 votes
    36. Methods and tips on mindfully pruning of information intake

      I'm working on pruning the sources of information that come into my Readwise/Read Later feeds down based on usefulness/actionable in my life and quality. My priorities are for data sources to...

      I'm working on pruning the sources of information that come into my Readwise/Read Later feeds down based on usefulness/actionable in my life and quality. My priorities are for data sources to expand my 'reality tunnel', to provide unique insights (not an echo chamber), and to remove a lot of the 'noise' of the day-to-day information overload. I'm considering what those sources might be. If you have a moment, I'd appreciate your thoughts, advice, and links to any writings or videos that speak to this similar goal and how others have done it. Thanks in advance!

      Nick Milo said:

      The noise is deafening, but I promise to focus on the high-value signal.

      I'm seeking to reduce the noise, and increase the signal of my Reader feeds.

      12 votes
    37. Folks in the biotech industry, what do you do and what is it like?

      I've been doing a postdoc in molecular biology in academia for a little while now, and getting ready to take next step. I'm looking into industry careers, but it's difficult to know what they...

      I've been doing a postdoc in molecular biology in academia for a little while now, and getting ready to take next step. I'm looking into industry careers, but it's difficult to know what they entail since we don't often get exposed to them.

      If you or someone you know works in biotech, I'd love to hear about it.

      How did you get into it? What do you enjoy or not enjoy? Where do you see the industry heading? What are some of the positions like?

      15 votes
    38. How safe am I? (self hosting)

      I have a server running Unraid at home. I have ~20 docker containers running at the moment with almost all of them only available within my local network. I just stood up an instance of Seafile on...

      I have a server running Unraid at home. I have ~20 docker containers running at the moment with almost all of them only available within my local network. I just stood up an instance of Seafile on the server to act as a google drive replacement. Still in the early test phase before I commit to throwing important stuff on there. I have my domain proxied through Cloudflare so none of my local ports are exposed to the internet. Seafille has complicated passwords set for admin and user accounts (generated with Bitwarden, hot damn I love that app). I also enabled 2FA on each account. I know that I can further clamp it down using some of Cloudflare's extra access controls but in my admittedly limited experience, those all cause issues getting an app to authenticate with the service. Web apps don't have this issue of course.

      So am I ok with this setup? I can encrypt the data before uploading easily as it's a built in feature of Seafile. Or would it be better to just run with local only and run a VPN to access when I'm outside?

      I figure just about any effort along these lines I trust more than Google with my data. But I may be overconfident in that perhaps. I'm still learning the ropes with Linux and self-hosting in general.

      17 votes
    39. What text comparison software do you use?

      I've only had exposure to Beyond Compare and would like your opinion/suggestions on what's good. mostly, I use it to compare two different versions of similar csv and potentially to merge them....

      I've only had exposure to Beyond Compare and would like your opinion/suggestions on what's good.

      mostly, I use it to compare two different versions of similar csv and potentially to merge them. Next use case is to compare two versions of simple scripts to see what's been updated.

      Command line tools are a little too much for me, but if it seem to be very important to learn I supposed I could be encouraged to do so.

      11 votes
    40. Thinking of creating a local media center for my home. Any ideas/collaborators?

      With the growing fragmentation of online streaming services, I'm thinking of setting up a local media server for my home that I can use over Kodi to stream movies/tv shows to my chromecast. I...

      With the growing fragmentation of online streaming services, I'm thinking of setting up a local media server for my home that I can use over Kodi to stream movies/tv shows to my chromecast. I might go Monkey D. Luffy for the content itself.

      Basically the basic plan is to have some base features and some add-ons as follows.

      Base:

      1. Create a media server using a Raspberry Pi and some storage to serve as the base for all my viewing
      2. Setting up Kodi on all relevant platforms to consume data from (1) [This should be trivial]

      Add-ons:

      1. Create a python script to check for new episodes of any existing show available on the net (Imdb, moviedb, wiki can be starting points to check this)
      2. Automate download of shows from 1. Can be setup to run at some daily interval
      3. Download subtitles for shows from 2.
      4. Maintain some Github list to add new movies/tv shows that user might be interested to download. Script from 1 should be able to consume this.

      I used Popcorn time was a software that was able to do most of this at some point, but I remember reading that there were some security issues identified with it. I never really checked it afterwards, but happy to be corrected if it's reliable.

      Edit: Thanks folks, I did not know that the RR-sphere already solves most of these problems, will look into it. I was looking forward to the scripting, but I'm guessing these solutions handle security much better than I would at my end.

      29 votes
    41. When reading historical books, how do you keep track of timelines?

      I've recently become interested in exploring history. However, though I am usually quick to read and process large amounts of information in other genres, I find myself struggling with the dates...

      I've recently become interested in exploring history. However, though I am usually quick to read and process large amounts of information in other genres, I find myself struggling with the dates in history books. For example, here's a excerpt from the book I'm currently reading [1]:

      During this period, tsarist policy was contradictory along its Western borders. In Finland, a Parliament was convened in 1863 for the first time in fifty-four years. In 1860, its own currency, the Finnish markka, was introduced, initially tied to the Russion rouble before being tied to the value of silver from 1865, which enabled the Duchy to trade more easily with the West. By 1906, Parliament had passed 400 separate pieces of legislation, and by 1883, Finnish had equal status as a language to Russian.

      It takes me surprisingly long to process this; my mind struggles to put together the timeline and most relevant facts. This style is used throughout the whole book and others like it, where multiple dates (and names or facts) are mentioned in a short piece of text, often in seemingly random order. This makes it difficult for me to truly get something out the book -- either I don't remember the information well afterwards or I can't relax while reading because I'm constantly puzzling it together.

      For people more familiar with historical works: are there any tricks to this? Does it perhaps get easier in time, when you become more familiar with the genre (similar to keeping track of the characters in fantasy books like Game of Thrones)? Or do some people have a natural affinity for dates, same as others have a mind for numbers or for languages? Looking forward to hearing your opinions and experiences.

      [1] N. Taylor, "Estonia, A Modern History", 2nd edition, C. Hurst & Co, 2020.


      Update: This was my first post here, and I’m loving the thoughtful replies. Here’s a summary of the tips so far:

      • Combining specific dates into a higher level time periods, e.g. start/middle/late century.
      • Using historical dates with a personal meaning as anchors to keep an overview of the time period.
      • Paying special attention to the first line of each paragraph, the first section of each chapter, and the first chapter of each book, which should be a summary of the following paragraph, chapter, and book, respectively.
      • Writing or drawing your own timeline of events, outside of the book.
      • Adding context information to your own timeline, based on understanding why each event occurred in that time and that way.
      17 votes
    42. DOSbox help for a noob - mouse doesn't work at all

      First, forgive me for I am a first time DOSbox user. My O/S is Windows 10 home 64-bit I went to old games and grabbed Doom & Doom II. I use to play these quite a bit and remember them fondly. I...

      First, forgive me for I am a first time DOSbox user. My O/S is Windows 10 home 64-bit

      I went to old games and grabbed Doom & Doom II. I use to play these quite a bit and remember them fondly. I did the easy setup which added DOSbox 0.74 and the game. It loads up and runs just like I remember with the keyboard, just no mouse.

      I did searching online, but the only solutions seem to be making sure autolock=true in the config file, and using cntl-F10 to capture the mouse. Toggling cntl-F10 does seem to grab the mouse in that the cursor disappears, but the mouse still will not function in either full screen or windowed mode.

      I seem to be missing something obvious, but for the life of me I just don't see it. I'm reasonably computer savvy, but feeling stupid at the moment.

      Any advice would be appreciated. TIA

      Edit: Forked over the 5 bucks and went with the Steam version. Works perfectly.
      Thank you everyone for your advice.

      9 votes
    43. Best way to use Instagram from a privacy perspective?

      If I wanted to create an Instagram to try to build a brand but value privacy, what are some good tips and tricks for using the app and not have all your personal data harvested by Meta? Of course...

      If I wanted to create an Instagram to try to build a brand but value privacy, what are some good tips and tricks for using the app and not have all your personal data harvested by Meta?

      Of course they're going to collect whatever info I post but are there some mitigation strategies? Always use a VPN? Should I get a brand new phone number?

      13 votes
    44. First time homebuyer who just closed on a house, does anyone have any general advice?

      I'm thinking first order of business is cleaning and then I'd like to paint, and then cleaning up the unkept yard. But I still haven't even moved yet and I know reality will be different. Does...

      I'm thinking first order of business is cleaning and then I'd like to paint, and then cleaning up the unkept yard. But I still haven't even moved yet and I know reality will be different.

      Does anyone who's been in this situation before have some general advice?

      45 votes
    45. The Last of Us Part II (Grounded)

      Anyone here go through a grounded play through ? I’m trying to currently and tbh…it’s kicking my ass. Any one here got some tips or advice for this kind of play through ? Or just discuss the game...

      Anyone here go through a grounded play through ? I’m trying to currently and tbh…it’s kicking my ass.

      Any one here got some tips or advice for this kind of play through ?

      Or just discuss the game too! I’d love to join in.

      Thank you in advance!!

      8 votes
    46. My ginger carrot hot sauce is missing something, but I can't tell what

      Ever since I learned how easy homemade hot sauce is, I try to experiment with a new batch or recipe from time to time. My most recent batch highlights carrot and Ginger, with mild jalapeno heat....

      Ever since I learned how easy homemade hot sauce is, I try to experiment with a new batch or recipe from time to time. My most recent batch highlights carrot and Ginger, with mild jalapeno heat.

      It tastes good, and the ginger is very apparent, but my SO and I feel it's missing something. Of course you can't taste it through the internet, but based on the recipe, can you provide any suggestions for what can help round it out or take it from good to great?

      Ingredients:

      • 3 carrots, 4 oz
      • 1 knob of ginger, peeled, 2.5 oz
      • 4 jalapeños, 8 oz
      • 4 cloves garlic
      • 1/4 of a red onion, didn't weigh
      • 1/2c apple cider vinegar
      • 1/2c water
      • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
      • 1/2 bunch of cilantro, maybe a couple of tsp after chopping

      Method:

      1. Thinly sliced carrots, ginger, peppers, onion, and garlic
      2. Sautee until brown around the edges (carrots and ginger took longer, garlic was just for a minute to avoid burning)
      3. Blend with salt, water, vinegar, and cilantro.
      4. Strain solids

      Any ideas on what it's missing? Some kind of tomato product? Something earthy like cumin? More garlic or onion? Something else entirely?

      EDIT: Thanks for all the great feedback! I poured a few small samples to test various additions based on your suggestions, and I ended up adding another 1/2 tsp of salt (for a total of 1 tsp), 1/2 tsp MSG, the juice of half a small lime, 1 squeeze of honey (estimated just shy of 1 tsp) and then thickened with 1/8 tsp of xanthan gum since it was really thin.

      Next time, I definitely want to try roasting the peppers and veggies, and I'll try a blend of peppers. I'm curious about other ginger preparation methods, too, such as raw, roasted, or powder. But for a mildly hot ginger sauce, I'm calling this experiment a success!

      29 votes
    47. Things to consider when viewing a house, not in regards to inspection concerns?

      My spouse and I were recently pre approved for a home loan; this evening, we will be going to look at a house for the first time. This will be our first house, and unless truly extenuating...

      My spouse and I were recently pre approved for a home loan; this evening, we will be going to look at a house for the first time. This will be our first house, and unless truly extenuating circumstances arise, we will not be looking to move or sell anytime soon.

      There are plenty of existing threads and articles covering things to look for in terms of the state of the house itself, such as foundation cracks, new paint covering mold, water damage, etc; what I am looking for is more a question of things to consider potentially liking or disliking about a home, regardless of its state of repair, that we might not think of until it's too late.

      For example, some things I've come across that are important and can't be changed about a house, but I wouldn't have thought to consider if I hadn't seen someone else mention them, include:

      • whether we get good cell service when not using wi-fi
      • whether the hallway is wide enough to move large furniture through
      • what direction the house faces, and subsequently when/where light comes in

      What other things might be easy to overlook about a property, but should be taken into account?

      35 votes
    48. Growing jalapenos in pots

      I want to get into growing chilis and I decides I want to get started with Jalapenos. I want to grow chilis but the problem is it's already the middle of Summer so if I plant now I can only...

      I want to get into growing chilis and I decides I want to get started with Jalapenos. I want to grow chilis but the problem is it's already the middle of Summer so if I plant now I can only harvest in fall/winter. Because of this I need to grow the indoors in pots. So my question toward my fellow chili growers:

      How hard is it to grow Jalapenos in pots?

      I can get my hands on 20L pots so that's not a problem, I can also get nitrogen and good soil (I found a recommendation to not get high quality one). One problem I faced is that I would need heat lamps to help the growing process. My guess is I can't go without them because in my country in late fall, winter, early spring it's pretty cold. How quickly do they grow and how tall they get? One concern I have is they will get to big to grow indoors since I don't have a ton of space inside. I have heard that there are kinds of chilis that stand the cold better (the ones with hair on them) so do you recommend me to get them? Or do you recommend me to wait till january? I'm really excited to start growing them and I'm a bit inpatient. Thanks for the advice in advance.

      27 votes