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  • Showing only topics with the tag "advice". Back to normal view
    1. Looking for advice on setting up computer case fans

      I've never actually put in more fans than what a case comes with, but I have an unraid server that is running hot so I got a pack of 5 fans to put in it. From what I understand, you want them set...

      I've never actually put in more fans than what a case comes with, but I have an unraid server that is running hot so I got a pack of 5 fans to put in it.

      From what I understand, you want them set up so that there is a solid airflow throughout the case; ie I'm planning to set it up so that the front and bottom fans are intake and the top and back fans are exhaust, so that cool air enters from the front/bottom and exits out the back/top.

      However, one of the fans will be going on the side door. I'm assuming this wants to be intake as well (so that the airflow goes through the entire case, as I assume it would disrupt the airflow as exhaust). Or would it be better to not have one on the side and just have an extra fan laying about?

      This is how I plan to set it up (shout out to MS Paint): https://ibb.co/KcXx5cgW

      Note: The X's are because the installed chassis block being able to put fans there; the bottom one is especially disappointing as it's the HDDs that are mostly getting hot

      Just wanted to confirm that that set up looks good and that intake for the side one (where the ? is) is the proper choice

      10 votes
    2. Always invest in good tires

      I just had two brand new tires (Michelin Defender 2) installed on my car (2022 Ford Maverick XLT, a four-door cyber-orange truck) and they have boosted my average MPG by 25, going from from 25-33...

      I just had two brand new tires (Michelin Defender 2) installed on my car (2022 Ford Maverick XLT, a four-door cyber-orange truck) and they have boosted my average MPG by 25, going from from 25-33 to 50-57mpg. Insane.

      The ride is also so smooth it's practically ludicrous, almost feels like a brand new suspension system was installed.

      Highly worth it. Always invest in good tires.

      36 votes
    3. Thoughts on wallpaper?

      Since buying my house nearly two years ago, I have been working on various home improvement tasks. One of the first things I did when I moved in was to re-paint the walls in certain rooms because...

      Since buying my house nearly two years ago, I have been working on various home improvement tasks. One of the first things I did when I moved in was to re-paint the walls in certain rooms because of ugly paint jobs from the past or visible damage that required me to fix cracks or other imperfections. The problem is that I don't really have an eye for color matching or designs so every room that I have painted, is just white. I want to make my home feel more cozy during the Michigan winters so I am thinking of getting some high-quality wallpaper to put up as opposed to painting. Especially because I did a complete remodel of my attic living space, replacing wood paneling with drywall, and I am soon approaching the beautification of the space.

      So I am conflicted because it seems like there is many prevailing thoughts in the American design psyche:

      1. Fuck wallpaper - this seems to be due to the difficulty of removing wallpapers from 60s to 80s, where the designs were also not very good and quality bad. I removed wallpaper when I moved into my home, and it really wasn't that bad. I did it all in a day, but I can relate to hating the patterns that former owners put up.

      2. Accent wall only - put wallpaper just on a single wall in a room. Would still need to color match this to paint and kind of seems like the worst of both worlds. However, wallpaper can be expensive if you go the premium route so this could save money.

      My wife is European, and while the attitudes towards wallpaper in various parts of the continent can vary, she is also very pro-wallpaper. She is thinking of doing whole room wallpapering.

      So what are your thoughts, experiences, and opinions? If you have experience in America doing it, what vendors and advice do you have?

      19 votes
    4. Seeking advice for back-up internet connection at home

      Hello, Tildes Tech Support Team, I'm doing some Homelab stuff. And I'm looking for a way to set up an inexpensive back-up Internet connection. Less about having a connection when I'm home and...

      Hello, Tildes Tech Support Team,

      I'm doing some Homelab stuff. And I'm looking for a way to set up an inexpensive back-up Internet connection. Less about having a connection when I'm home and Internet goes out (Phone hotspot works in a pinch), but more about getting in and getting statuses of stuff when I'm not home and Internet drops.

      For background, I have a Ubiquiti Unifi Dream Machine Pro that can do WAN failover. My primary Internet connection is through Verizon Fios. The UDM and the Fios ONT are directly connected via ethernet; I'm not using Verizon's crappy home router. Also, I rarely lose Internet connectivity. This really is just a Homelab experiment to see if it can be done.

      I've seen some stuff about getting a cheap, refurb smartphone and a cheap MVNO plan like Google Fi that nets me a handful of GB a month, and then tethering the UDM to the phone somehow (maybe through some cheap router in bridge/passthrough mode like a GLinet travel router). Has anyone had any experience doing this?

      But...I actually have a secondary Internet connection already. My apartment complex has WiFi across the complex and for each unit. That I unfortunately have to pay for, even though I don't use it -- I want FULL control over my home network. But since I do have it, is there a way I can take advantage of this? I'm thinking something like a reverse AP, if that exists. But it has to pass through the IP from the apartment WiFi.

      I know there will likely be issues with double NATing. But depending on the services/things I'm trying to access or keep access to, that may not be a factor. Like my Unifi hardware talking with the Unifi cloud access stuff. I think double NAT shouldn't matter.

      Anyway, appreciate whatever you all got!

      15 votes
    5. Guilt and video games

      Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed...

      Hi! In the past (in my 20s and early 30s) I played a LOT of video games. I realized at some point it felt pretty damn close to addiction. At the very least it was a problem. I have since managed to reduce and embrace moderation. I’m now entering my 40s. However, I can’t help feeling a certain sense of lingering guilt when I do play. It’s as though a voice inside my head tells me “you should be doing something else with your time.” My rational mind thinks that with moderation, some gaming is not that bad. It’s not conflicting with responsibilities, work, relationships. Helps my brain relax and I prefer it to something like TV which is far more passive. I play mainly rogue-like games. No online games, no loot boxes, no fictional currency. Think Dead Cells, Balatro, Hades, small(er) games. Wondering if others feel this way and what do you tell yourself or do to mitigate the guilty conscience? Am I just too strict or mean to myself?

      43 votes
    6. Designing a slide-out phone case with a keyboard

      For reference, I have next to zero knowledge of building electronics. I've replaced the joysticks on two Nintendo joycons (which I actually found pretty fun), and that's it. I also have no...

      For reference, I have next to zero knowledge of building electronics. I've replaced the joysticks on two Nintendo joycons (which I actually found pretty fun), and that's it. I also have no experience with 3D printing or designing specific products.

      I am also sick of touch screen keyboards on phones, do not like any of of the phones that do have keys or the Clicks phone case (why is it on the BOTTOM—), and currently have a lot of free time.

      So my question to you: how would I go about designing my own slide out case with its own keyboard?

      Because that is my ideal solution at this point. And in fact, it turns out someone DID make a 3D printed "slider terminal" this year. Except it's for the Note 10 (I have a Galaxy S9), and seems to be used as a full-fledged replacement for a desktop experience with a trackpad. That's neat and will probably appeal to a lot of people here, but personally, I just need physical keys.

      Along with the keyboard used for that terminal, I also found this other tiny keyboard which doesn't have the trackpad and is about the same dimensions as my Galaxy S9. Actually I found that first and was trying to figure out if there were any cases that could store and pop that out. The biggest issue is that it would cover my camera except maybe when it's slid out, but screw it, I want a damn physical keyboard.

      I do have access to 3D printers (yay public libraries!) and I'm willing to learn Blender in order to make this thing. I just need advice on where to begin and how to tackle this. In particular, I have no clue how to go about the slide out part. I feel like I should be able to figure out how to make a case that fits the dimensions of my phone and the keyboard fairly easily, but no idea where to begin with researching the sliding component.

      Besides that, I also know that I'm not alone here in my frustrations with phone keyboards, so I'm hoping we can pool together ideas on how to do this. As far as I can tell there's not really a "one size fits all" solution that would work for all phones (well, except perhaps a foldable case instead of slide-out), but maybe we can at least share decent starting points for people to design their own. For instance, the slider terminal uses a keyboard that came with a remote, and it would never have occurred to me that could be used for this sort of project. And there are a lot of potential workarounds for the camera placements, so Person A may have an idea that doesn't work well for them, but does work better for Person B than their own original idea.

      So yeah. Advice, ideas and general brainstorming are welcome!

      20 votes
    7. Helping trans and queer youth for the next 1253 days (ish)

      Refresher about me and my work: I work in higher ed as essentially a social worker for our on-campus students. Many of the students I support are trans, non-binary, and queer. They often come to...

      Refresher about me and my work: I work in higher ed as essentially a social worker for our on-campus students. Many of the students I support are trans, non-binary, and queer. They often come to me or are directed to me because I'm visibly queer, and use she/they pronouns. A recent survey* listed about 30% of our campus populations as queer (ace-inclusive, not mentioning gender identity), the same survey demonstrated nearly double the risk of suicide, mental health crisis, etc among our trans and gender non-conforming students. This survey was from before the 2024 election.


      My point with this post is asking y'all for any suggestions in supporting my trans youth in particular and queer youth in general during this time of increasing demonization and as the feds have started to pressure schools to remove protections for trans women specifically.**

      What things would you have wanted to hear from adults around you? What things helped you continue to feel safe with trusted adults? When the conversations keep getting tougher - talking about staying in or returning to the closet for safety or surviving that necessity when at home, or whatever fresh political hell hits next? When your roommate's mom compares her daughter living with you to sexual violence?

      I have a lot of experience with tough questions, and dealt some of these. I've talked about how you have to take care of yourself and water your plants or you have dead plants and fascism. But my experiences coming out in grad school and figuring out my demi-gender-ness much later aren't the same as these kids' life experiences. And I always want to make sure I'm doing better. What helped you? What would you have wanted to hear? What message would you want to pass to them?

      Feel free to DM if preferred for safety or privacy


      *I can't say how representative this was but between 4 and 5 percent of the population took the survey so unless that was particularly skewed in some way that should be a decent sample.
      ** There's a chance my speech will be restricted as an employee, we'll see, but that's an area I can fight more effectively.

      51 votes
    8. Feeling defeated, and the need to keep trying

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know. Copious Backstory As I wrote in...

      I'll preface by saying that if this is the wrong place for this, I'm sorry ahead of time. Additionally if I've tagged you and you disapprove, please let me know.


      Copious Backstory

      As I wrote in the monthly mental health, I've been struggling with finding a job. I've spent the last 15 years in ECE (Early Childhood Education) at a private school. I've worked over the last decade first to finish my Associates degree with help from my boss, and then my bachelor's with help from the state (@DefinitelyNotAFae you may have heard of the ECACE program). I earned my educator license too late last year to search for a teaching job in public schools, so I spent the last year building up networks and references for the hunt this year. That all went well.

      Over the last 6 months I have interviewed (or attempted to interview, because it's difficult to take off work for all of this) at almost all of the schools in my county for the positions I'm certified for. I quickly got the feeling that finding a teaching job was much different this year than in previous years. I got turned down, every time.

      I wrote last week about how I had finally landed a job - an ideal one, checking off so many boxes. It was local, a 25% pay bump over other districts, an age range I'm familiar with, and more. I went on vacation this week ecstatic and celebrating. @Chocobean you may remember I tagged you about this update.

      Yesterday I spoke with the district HR executive. Due to budget cuts that came in Monday, my position was no longer available and the offer was rescinded. I feel robbed.

      I'm really trying not to let this ruin the rest of my family vacation, but it's hard. I feel defeated and dejected. I spent family time putting in more applications, again, to try and soothe my mind. I hate it. It does help feeling like I'm doing something about it, but it feels more like any opportunity I get can be dashed away before my very eyes without me being able to do anything at all.

      What I feel worst about is that the deadline for getting hired is fast approaching. What if I don't land a job? What if I'm still stuck working where I am? I love that place and my coworkers, but my heart is set on moving on to something different and new.

      I try to tell myself I can't see myself as a failure - I did succeed. I was mugged. There's nothing I could have done differently.

      I'm still empty handed though.


      So to the point of discussion... What helps you persevere in the face of adversity and hardship?

      35 votes
    9. How do you manage separate development environments on your computer?

      Hello Tildes! There's an open-source app I would like to work on and contribute code to, but it uses a toolchain that I'm not terribly familiar with (Deno), and I'm not a huge fan of letting tools...

      Hello Tildes!

      There's an open-source app I would like to work on and contribute code to, but it uses a toolchain that I'm not terribly familiar with (Deno), and I'm not a huge fan of letting tools like this have full access to my system and files.

      Do any of you use a system to containerize different development environments for software development? I could definitely use a standard Docker/Podman container to run the app, but I'm not aware of a good system where you can edit a program's source in an IDE, make changes, build the app, open a local port, and save your new code, all within a sandboxed environment.

      If anyone uses a system like this or something related, I would love to hear about it and share ideas.

      14 votes
    10. Help with ants in the shower!

      So after moving, my new bathroom has some issues. Most pressing of all: my shower has ants. It started with a couple, but it feels like it's gotten progressively worse. I researched this issue and...

      So after moving, my new bathroom has some issues. Most pressing of all: my shower has ants. It started with a couple, but it feels like it's gotten progressively worse.

      I researched this issue and have been spraying my shower with a vinegar/water mixture to kill and hopefully repel them, followed by my mom wiping them up to throw away because the scent of ant corpses will attract more ants. But so far, it hasn't really done anything but kept me from using that shower for a week because of the smell of vinegar.

      I sprayed the shower today, when it had possibly the most ants to date, and mom wiped them all up... And then a few hours later I checked and more ants showed up. Actually I just checked again and there are now like, at LEAST fifteen ants in there. At LEAST. So, the vinegar solution obviously isn't repelling them.

      We're at the end of our patience. Tomorrow we'll be sitting down to do some heavy-duty research together. The potential next step, based on the site where I got the vinegar solution, is to pour baking soda and vinegar into the drain to try to dislodge all the gunk, because I've washed ants down there and that can attract more ants. So, that might be why they won't freaking stay away.

      Relevant vent: why does every single site about killing ants include tons of photos of ants!? I'd closed the site I used and I tried to find it again to link here, but had to stop because the first two sites I checked were full of ant pictures. And I freaking hate bugs and can't stand even looking at photos of them. Or at least, not in this context. I don't want to see MORE ants congregating in strangers' showers, knowing they're in mine already make my skin crawl without having an image of what they might look like at this very moment!!

      So, yeah. Researching this has been very difficult for me, but I need those damn things out of my shower so we don't need to share my mom's. So, I'm open to any advice and solutions you all have!

      Some other relevant information:

      • Here's a photo of my bathroom and the shower. Warning: you might be able to see ants if you zoom in on the close-up of the shower, because they were mostly congregated in that area. Otherwise I would have gotten a better photo of the interior. I saw a lot of advice to touch up caulking, but with the type of shower this is, I'm not sure how relevant caulking really is? The shower is very smooth, almost like the rim of a bathtub.
      • There's a skylight above the shower, which was replaced before we moved in. At the very least, it doesn't leak with water when it rains. So help me, if that's somehow the source of the ants........
      • Related to above: there's no window I can open, and the room is quite small and narrow. So, humidity builds up FAST and I don't really have an effective way to vent it out or anything.
      • I've seen a couple in my sink. Key word: a couple. I think the most I've seen there at one time is two, while the shower can have upwards of... I don't even want to try to guess, honestly.
      • I've seen one or two ants crawling up the wall outside the shower, very low down around the moulding. So their nest may be outside the shower?
      • At this point the number has me half-convinced there's a nest somewhere in the bathroom. Or maybe there's an entrance on the top of the white shower walls/rim where it meets the drywall?? Except I've only ever seen one ant relatively high up one of those walls, they seem to stick near the floor... Either way, the number feels extreme to me given there shouldn't be any real points of entrance besides the door and skylight.
      • Given that articles love attaching revolting photos at multiple points, I'll just ask here if there's any chance they're climbing out of my shower head or the drain. One little fact that prematurely ended my first attempt to research solutions: apparently ants sometime come out of bath faucets. So, yeah.
      • At this point, killing ants is secondary to getting them OUT. We've dealt with ant infestations before, we know how to kill them. But that doesn't help when more of them will show up!! I don't want to deal with this problem forever, or even just seasonally!!l

      Please help, and thanks for taking time to read this!

      16 votes
    11. Looking for tips/advice for a hardware firewall/VPN for a small to medium size nonprofit

      Edit: Decided to go with the Ubiquiti Dream Machine Pro. Thank you for all the suggestions and advice! Hey Tildenauts, I'm planning to help a local nonprofit replace their aging hardware firewall...

      Edit: Decided to go with the Ubiquiti Dream Machine Pro. Thank you for all the suggestions and advice!

      Hey Tildenauts,

      I'm planning to help a local nonprofit replace their aging hardware firewall pro bono. I have a fair amount of experience with networking and security, especially where web servers are concerned, but I haven't setup a hardware firewall recently enough to know off the top of my head which are the best options here.

      The organization is fairly small but on its way to medium sized, around 30 employees at the moment but will likely expand to 50+ in coming years. So I'm looking for a solution that will comfortably scale up to 100 employees. There is remote work, accessing their local server via VPN, so something that comes bundled with a user friendly VPN client would be ideal. I haven't seen their physical setup yet but I know their server gets a lot of use. Not all employees use it remotely on a regular basis but many do.

      From past experience I know that Cisco, Sophos and SonicWall are potential options. Cisco seems to be pushing their Meraki platform pretty hard but I don't think this organization needs a subscription based solution.

      Anyone have recommendations for hardware firewalls I should consider? Any potential footguns I should know about?

      Thanks in advance!

      9 votes
    12. Disabilities: Changing bed sheets over multiple days

      I recently had an idea I wish I'd thought of a few years ago, but if you have severe difficulty* changing bed sheets, you can actually break the job up over a few days. This is what I've started...

      I recently had an idea I wish I'd thought of a few years ago, but if you have severe difficulty* changing bed sheets, you can actually break the job up over a few days. This is what I've started doing, divided up to have roughly equal energy demands:

      Day 1: Change duvet cover
      Day 2: Change pillow cases and bed sheet
      Day 3: Rest, if needed
      Day 4: Wash removed bedding in washing machine

      • if you have orthostatic intolerance, ME/CFS or long covid you might relate to this. It also helps mentally breaking down the tasks like this during periods of intense brain fog.
      23 votes
    13. Accessing a Google account without attaching to the phone on Android

      Ok so I have a Google account for an organization. But when I have that account logged in on my phone some of the security restrictions impact all accounts on my phone. I have a pixel 7a with...

      Ok so I have a Google account for an organization. But when I have that account logged in on my phone some of the security restrictions impact all accounts on my phone. I have a pixel 7a with Android 16 if it matters.

      I would love to have access to this gmail account, with notifications, on my phone without forwarding the emails to one of my personal accounts. Any way to do that within the Gmail app itself, or if I need a different app, any recommendations?

      In my perfect world I'd have OneDrive access too, but I can use a browser window there if needed.

      13 votes
    14. People with paranoid delusions of being hacked keep asking me for help

      I'm a member of a hacker space. In the last few months two different people have came in desperate for help because they have a relentless hacker after them. In each case they are a completely...

      I'm a member of a hacker space. In the last few months two different people have came in desperate for help because they have a relentless hacker after them. In each case they are a completely mundane person who would have little reason to earn the focus of a dedicated expert in device infiltration. They claim that no matter what they do, what device they use (new phone, new laptop, hardened security OS, even their blueray players) it will get hacked as though they have an aura about them. When pressed for any kind of evidence they have none. The previous events they claim as evidence are always shaky. Often their claim is just that something didn't work right on their computer - thus it is hacked. It's never anything concrete like their bank account getting emptied.

      One is a middle-aged woman who thinks that her upstairs neighbor is seeking revenge after she put in a noise complaint. Another is a woman in her 20s who has no understanding of what initiated it. The older woman is at the point where she believes every TV has a camera in it that can get hacked to watch her. When we look up the model numbers and see they have no camera in the specs she waves it off - to her those were just exceptions. In both cases they've turned to technological solutions they don't understand in a blind hope for refuge. Secure DNS (like Cloudflare's 1.1.1.1), GrapheneOS, stateless Linux laptops, etc.

      I don't feel like these people are schizophrenic. We've had such people show up before and their delusions are on a different level. One guy thinks a well known actor stole his UFO designs and is trying to get him put in jail. These other people feel more like they're in self-imposed conspiracy theories, not unlike what happened to that ChatGPT user. At first I felt like this was a technological form of FDIS (to be clear I have no training in psychology). But there have been no attempts from either person to factitiously create devices that appear compromised. So I suppose this is more of a delusion, perhaps founded on a desire to be more important than they really are.

      Does anyone know more about this kind of situation? I don't think there's much I can do for them. But I'd love to understand more about this topic if anyone has seen stuff like this before or has formal training.

      46 votes
    15. Repairing an LG OLED TV and alternative courses of action

      My parents are about to get a new TV because theirs is faulty and they don't seem interested in repairing it. I'm going to be taking the faulty one from them and, because it's ridiculous that the...

      My parents are about to get a new TV because theirs is faulty and they don't seem interested in repairing it. I'm going to be taking the faulty one from them and, because it's ridiculous that the TV only worked normally for 3.5 years, am very tempted to try a repair. It's an LG CX OLED from 2021, here's a description of the issue:

      • When plugged into the mains, the standby light will come on and the TV can be powered on and used as normal. However, if too much time elapses after plugging-in without fully powering on (I don't actually know how long, somewhere between 5-10 minutes), the standby light will switch off and the TV will become unresponsive.
      • When the TV is in this "unresponsive" state, the only thing that will bring it back to life is to unplug it from the mains and wait a bit (again, somewhere between 5-10 minutes), then plug it back in and turn it on. This happens every time the TV is plugged in, with no variation.
      • The TV is fully functional when it's turned on, and there's no other issues with it at all.
      • If the TV is turned back off (back to standby mode), the clock starts again until it becomes unresponsive.

      So clearly there's some problem with standby mode. Some searching has indicated that other customers are frequently having this issue, and that replacing either the PSU or Motherboard of the TV will solve the issue. It's out of warranty, so I'm going to be spending money if I want to fix it. Replacement PSUs are about $250, and replacement Motherboards are about $350. I can only really afford one of these parts right now, so it's a gamble if I can't figure out a way to isolate the issue to one of the boards. I don't own a multimeter to test power, nor do I know anything about electronics, so I'm slightly fumbling around in the dark on this one.

      There's always the alternative of getting up and switching the power on and off every time, which is significantly more convenient for me than it is for my parents because of room size and outlet placement, but I'd like to be able to use the remote as intended (and, as I mentioned before, it's ridiculous that the thing is falling apart after only a few years, it's a very expensive TV!). I could also... find an IR controlled outlet or something? I don't know if that's a thing, but you know what I mean.

      I will end up using this TV regardless of whether or not I can get it fixed, because OLED is unbeatable, and it's not every day that my parents will replace something that isn't outright destroyed, but if you have electronics experience, or have had this problem (it seems like it's super common) any recommendations or help would be appreciated!

      Vaguely Related Tangent This TV is something like 2mm thick. Sure, there's a huge base for the electronics but it's mostly this super thin sheet. Who the hell asked for this? It makes the thing wobble and feel like it's gonna break at any second!
      15 votes
    16. Why won't the Wayback Machine archive my page?

      I have updated the Portuguese section of my blog with many posts that I scavenged from past blogs I've had since 2005. In order for everyone to be able to go through them chronologically, I gave...

      I have updated the Portuguese section of my blog with many posts that I scavenged from past blogs I've had since 2005. In order for everyone to be able to go through them chronologically, I gave them their original dates. In the end of each of these posts there is a link to the original publication, many of which came from the Internet Archive itself.

      One of my oldest blogs was removed from blogspot decades ago either by a hacker or something obscure about blogspot. So I had to use the archived version to reconstruct my history. I was very surprised to find it there because it was seemingly archived a decade after blogspot removed it. I have no idea what happened but I was so glad to find it!

      I have been trying to archive that page for days. The posts within that page are archived but not the page itself. The current August 2025 snapshot is not shown, and if I click on the link that they give me after the archiving process is done, I am directed to a snapshot I did back in May. I have no idea why this is happening, and the "help" section of Wayback Machine doesn't seem to have anyway for me to talk to someone.

      Can someone help?

      This is the page: https://daviramos.com/br/. It is also available at https://daviramos.bearblog.dev/br/, and yes, I tried archiving that one too.

      Thanks!

      9 votes
    17. How to educate a parent on the internet?

      Howdy fellow humans. So I need help finding ways to teach my technophobe mother how to not get caught out by scam websites and how to just generally navigate the internet like a tech savvy person....

      Howdy fellow humans. So I need help finding ways to teach my technophobe mother how to not get caught out by scam websites and how to just generally navigate the internet like a tech savvy person.

      Recently, she got caught out when applying for the Thai Digital Arrival Card. She paid $80 for the "service". She only realised afterwards that this should not be the case. This angered her and reinforced her thinking that she can't do these things online and will always say she doesn't know what she is doing etc etc. When I googled the thai DAC the first hit on google was the official site and I had to go out of my way to find the one that she got. As I mentioned before she is a technophobe but then won't take the time to learn how to properly navigate the internet or improve her media literacy skills at all. I am also sure that there may be some other more personal issues around her refusal to learn how to use tech but thats a problem for another day.

      Anyway so far Iv found 2 crash course series that would most likely help but if anyone else here has other resources for me to suggest to her id really appreciate it.

      21 votes
    18. How do you find the words?

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came...

      Some days ago, I posted in the monthly ~health.mental thread and it turned into such a long aimless ramble that I deleted it after a couple of hours. I was embarrassed how childishly whiny I came off with that ranting/venting or whatever it was that went through my head at that time, in a vulnerable emotional state. When it gets even worse, during breakdowns, it even becomes that I'm fully incapable of speech which I even less know how to work on.

      But it's not just limited to these two states. During more "reasonable" moments, if I can call it that, I still have the sense that I don't know how to express myself. Sometimes I catch myself thinking it's a lack of education or because of not reading enough literature, so my vocabulary is poor. Because even when I use tools full-on graphs of words with emotions and variants and synonyms of those words etc. etc., it still seems like it's not enough.

      The best I can usually do is saying that I have a feeling of being overwhelmed, that it's all too much, feeling the feelings too much, extreme emotions, that I can't fit into my body. But I feel like it's still more than that.

      Anyone else deal with this too?

      18 votes
    19. How do I limit frame rate in Blue Prince? RTSS doesn't work.

      so first, a bit of context, I recently got lossless scaling and have been trying its frame generation in different games, it works fine but it's recommended to limit the framerate to half of your...

      so first, a bit of context, I recently got lossless scaling and have been trying its frame generation in different games, it works fine but it's recommended to limit the framerate to half of your refresh rate but I've tried using RTSS and it doesn't seem to work in Blue Prince at all, neither the OSD nor the framelimiter work. like nothing happens at all even though I added the .exe to Blue Prince and limited the framerate. also, as for the reason I want to use it in this game. the game works fine but if I keep playing and have drafted a lot of rooms, the frame rate gets lower and lower like it goes from 144 (my refresh rate) to 90ish so I thought I'd limit it to 72 fps and just use frame generation. I recall some people here play Blue Prince so I thought maybe someone could help.

      6 votes
    20. Advice on a study schedule for an exam

      I have a 14 chapter text book to go through. So far my plan is to read 1 chapter per weekend ( okay maybe two weekends ) and take solid notes on it. Weeknights I am usually used up from work and...

      I have a 14 chapter text book to go through.

      So far my plan is to read 1 chapter per weekend ( okay maybe two weekends ) and take solid notes on it.

      Weeknights I am usually used up from work and got life to live. My thinking is review what I have already covered then.

      My question is how to schedule the reviewing of old stuff so I don't lose it.

      Example: If I just finished chapter 10, when would I review chapters 2,3,4...etc?

      Anyone have experience with preparing for such a big exam?

      10 votes
    21. Tech keeps stealing my life, and I want tips on how to make it stop doing that

      ** Please do not tell me how to fix my issue below; this is an example, not a tech-support request ** I have a (LibreOffice) spreadsheet, personal tracking data. The other day, I got a new laptop...

      ** Please do not tell me how to fix my issue below; this is an example, not a tech-support request **


      I have a (LibreOffice) spreadsheet, personal tracking data. The other day, I got a new laptop (Framework), put a new OS (Debian trixie RC2) on it.

      Now, on the new machine, when I add a comment to a cell, the background color of the new comment is wrong/different from every other comment in the spreadsheet. When I add a comment to the same spreadsheet, opened on a different machine, the new comment still has the "correct"/standard background color, but any comments I added on the new machine continue to have the wrong color.

      This happened once or twice in the past couple of days, and I just manually "fixed" the color of each new comment, but this morning, I tried to figure out what the deal was, how to fix it properly/permanently.

      And just like that, my 3-minute daily edit of this spreadsheet turned into a 2-hour wild goose chase. I still haven't fixed it, I still don't know whether to blame LibreOffice, Debian, the new laptop, or some other variable I haven't even thought of. All I know is, someone has stolen 2 hours of my life from me, and I really want to know who that is.


      Bigger picture ...

      This happens all the time. Every day, often 3-4 times a day, it is a regular point of stress, of contention in my life, deciding whether to devote hours (sometimes days) of my life to strong-arming software into working the way it was supposed to work in the first place, or to try my best to accept that we just can't have nice things on our computers, and move on.

      This definitely predates the word "enshittification", but I don't think it really predates the concept. Stipulated -- software development is complicated, and software is used in so many different situations -- different hardware, different OSes, different libraries, different supporting/complementary software, versions, etc -- it is extremely hard to make software that "just works" for everyone, all the time.

      Nonetheless, I think the entire software development industry just collectively decided that is it okay to release stuff that doesn't work ... dating back to some point in the 20th century, long before Linux, before the Internet, before smartphones ... this issue--this philosophy--goes waaaay back, and there's just no fighting it at this point.

      But also, I do not want to live in a world where I have to surrender hours and days and years of my life, fighting with software that doesn't work, because "that's just how software is".

      So, that's my gripe. Is there any kind of viable middle ground here, that is less extreme than "cabin in the woods"? 'Cuz I am (yet again) seriously weighing that option this morning.

      33 votes
    22. Organizing graphic design files

      hey there tildes— the job i’ve had for the past year has included heavy graphic design. i’ve never really done graphic design before so i’ve just been winging it and learning as i go. as time has...

      hey there tildes—

      the job i’ve had for the past year has included heavy graphic design. i’ve never really done graphic design before so i’ve just been winging it and learning as i go. as time has gone on and the projects have become more complicated, i wonder if there’s a standardized way of organizing complex (or complex to me at least) projects in Illustrator (or for me, Affinity Designer).

      one example— i create labels with 3-9 slight variations to be printed and attached to physical items (jars, in my case). these variations of the same design are roughly 75% the same, with the 25% being the “flavor” and associated text/colors. i also have to export as a layered pdf for the printing company since we don’t have the necessary equipment in-house.

      another example (more related to InDesign or in my case Affinity Publisher)— a product catalogue. there are something like 30 pages and it’s just a huge click-fest of layers and nested groups.

      are there any graphic designers here that have any insight on best practices when organizing large files or even practical ways to split up files?

      5 votes
    23. MTG - Building a collection

      TL; DR: how do I start building a collection cheaply with versatile/staple cards? A couple of friends have started playing Magic: The Gathering with a virtual tabletop, and while I have learned a...

      TL; DR: how do I start building a collection cheaply with versatile/staple cards?

      A couple of friends have started playing Magic: The Gathering with a virtual tabletop, and while I have learned a lot from playing Arena and reading cards (and watching the Prof) there's just something not working for me in the digital space; Archidekt is tough for me to read through, and even something like Tabletop Simulator doesn't work for me for learning the game (or rather...it's not sticking). I know that I do pretty well with physical objects, so I wanted to get some physical cards to get the hang of the game but immediately ran up against the cost.
      I don't know if you guys know this, but Magic: The Gathering is expensive. Way more expensive than I can justify for a hobby I've just started and haven't really gotten the hang of. My question is: how do I start building a collection without breaking the bank?

      The things I know, but might need to be corrected on:
      "Don't buy bulk"; apparently most boxes of bulk have a bunch of repeats and are generally the cards left over when the good ones have been extracted. I would love to be wrong about this, because even getting common/uncommon cards in enough volume to play in a physical space would be neat.
      "Buy singles"; it seems like this is a good way to spend $50-$1000 blindly in the dark if you don't know what you're doing.
      "Play what you enjoy"; I've played some jump-start decks and those are neat, but I haven't played enough to know what I like, making this difficult. I also haven't played enough to know the difference between what I enjoy because it's neat and what I enjoy because I won with it one time.
      "Buy a precon deck"; from what I've read the commander precons would be a good way to get a lot of single cards, but I've read/heard mixed things about them: reviewers discussing how to "fix" them to be good.
      "Buy jump start packs"; I would love to grab a bunch of the jump start decks to mess around with and find synergies, but how do you avoid getting repeats of the packs?
      "Buy the Foundations Starter Collection"; Foundations Starter Collection is apparently sold out (or only being sold used/resold at a higher price?), but seems exactly what I'm looking for: a decent collection of classic/useful cards that you can build with and supplement as you learn the game.
      "Look for garage sales or ebay for collections"; I'm pretty sure my chances of edging out an experienced card hunter on a good deal is slim to none, especially in my area.

      I would, in an ideal world, like to have a small collection with 300-500 of the cards that "everybody knows" for kitchen table Magic (fake draft/jump start, casual commander, casual...modern?), but this seems out of reach. Any guidance would be appreciated!

      16 votes
    24. North Korean Career Coaches

      I keep getting messages in my email inbox or LinkedIn like: Alexander > Hi, > I’m seeking a genuine partnership where only a USA software engineer can truly collaborate with me. > I value...

      I keep getting messages in my email inbox or LinkedIn like:

      Alexander
      > Hi, 
      > I’m seeking a genuine partnership where only a USA software engineer can truly collaborate with me. 
      > I value transparency and real results. 
      > Things to do are very simple and I guarantee 3K~10K/month income for you.
      > I’m ready to prove my credibility and discuss a win-win business. 
      > Thank you!
      
      Hello $their_name,
      
      Why do you need a USA engineer and what do I need to do?
      
      - $my_name
      
      > Thanks for reaching me out.
      > 
      > I run a software development team with five talented developers who specialize in frontend, backend, full stack, AI/ML and blockchain technologies. Although we have a strong team, we are struggling to find enough jobs right now. As you may know, the economy in Europe is tough and low salary as well, so we are trying to find more opportunities in the US and Canada. However, this is challenging for us because of time zone differences, language barriers, and many US clients preferring to hire local people like you.
      > 
      > To solve these issues, I'm actively looking for someone who can help us in getting more jobs in the US. Since you are a US citizen, you can create accounts on job platforms like Indeed, Dice, Upwork and Wellfound. I think you may have already heard about Upwork. It's a world famous freelancing platform. After setting up your accounts, if you allow me to use them, I will apply for jobs by myself. When I receive interview requests from clients, I will notify you so you can attend the meetings. During the interviews, I will support you by quickly sending you the right answers to any technical questions that come up.
      > 
      > Once we secure a job, our team will handle all the development work, including any test projects. We will share the profits from the work we do, with a split of 30% for you and 70% for our team.
      > In short, your role would be to connect with clients and help us secure jobs, while our team takes care of the technical work. This is a great opportunity for collaboration and growth.
      > 
      > And there is one thing I need to tell you about using your account. Several platforms have very strict policies with ip addresses. If i use your account on my own machine, your account will be risky because ip addresses are different. And also they detect VPN, VPS, and some cloud services as well. To address this, we need to use your spare laptop. I will use your account on your spare one using a remote desktop application like Anydesk. Anydesk is a secure and safe remote desktop application.
      
      Cuong
      > Greeting,
      > 
      > I hope this message finds you well. My name is Cuong, and I came across your information on your website ( WE need it ). I am excited to share that I have a potential long-term collaboration opportunity that I believe could be mutually beneficial.
      > 
      > We’re a fast-growing IT consulting company based in Malaysia, with a talented team experienced in web2, web3, mobile development, and AI. As we expand into the U.S. market, we’re actively seeking a reliable business partner—someone like you—to grow together.
      > 
      > Here’s how we can support you:
      > - Proactively apply and schedule interviews on job platforms on your behalf
      > - Optimize and refine your resume and LinkedIn profile to stand out
      > - Provide technical guidance to help you succeed in interviews
      > - Take care of the actual development work once new projects are secured
      > 
      > If this sounds interesting to you, feel free to reach out. We’d love to hear your thoughts and explore how we can collaborate!
      > 
      > Looking forward to connecting with you.
      > 
      > Best Regards
      > Cuong
      

      Some of these messages are even from people who are well-connected to former bosses and managers and other talented people that I personally know. They aren't coming out of my spam folder.

      I know I'm not special in this. I'm not the only one. They are throwing spaghetti on the wall until the meatballs stick, etc.

      But I thought... what if I could use this to my advantage? I would still need to do the interviews but they could do the legwork applying for jobs and reaching out to companies, connections that they already have, and then when they deliver the job contract I cut off contact with these nebulous associates? And I join the company like normal.

      Thoughts?

      15 votes
    25. New Android phones, stock or flash?

      I'm getting a new phone (OnePlus 13, not that it really matters) and I'm considering the benefits of flashing over something like LineageOs straight away rather than using the stock OS. Normally,...

      I'm getting a new phone (OnePlus 13, not that it really matters) and I'm considering the benefits of flashing over something like LineageOs straight away rather than using the stock OS.

      Normally, I expect? You'd run stock until security updates stop or something changes where you want a longer running OS, but I'm considering it because I cannot be bothered with all the bloatware they put on modern phones these days.
      Plus it should save a heap of battery.

      What are people's thoughts on this? Is it something you always do anyway or do you usually run stock for a while?

      33 votes
    26. Dragon Quest I - III original Switch or HD 2D?

      Original switch release or hd 2d? So I have the original switch releases of I, II, and III that are based on the mobile ports. I beat one already a year or two ago and had a decent time. My...

      Original switch release or hd 2d?

      So I have the original switch releases of I, II, and III that are based on the mobile ports. I beat one already a year or two ago and had a decent time. My question is should I play II and III as I have them or get the hd 2d remake.

      I know it seems like the hd 2d remake is the obvious choice but I have some caveats. I'm a stay at home caretaker of a family member. Currently unemployed (though I'm trying to get caretaking for them as a job) so I'd have to wait and only get one of the releases as a Christmas gift and the other as a birthday gift next summer should employment not come through by then.

      I know the remakes of I and III aren't out yet but based on your impressions and what III hd 2d is like.

      So I'm wondering if it's worth waiting and sacrificing other potential games when I have two playable versions now.

      Thoughts?

      5 votes
    27. Starting a tool library

      Hi everyone, I'm feeling inspired to start a tool library out of a community space. I am resisting the urge to roll the software myself and I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions about existing...

      Hi everyone, I'm feeling inspired to start a tool library out of a community space. I am resisting the urge to roll the software myself and I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions about existing projects that I might look into, ideally leaning towards the lightweight side of things.

      What say you, Tildes community?

      17 votes
    28. Advice on a voice recorder

      I'm starting an archive project of long form interviews with locals in my area. Do any of y'all have advice on what might be the best handheld voice recorder that's high quality sound but small...

      I'm starting an archive project of long form interviews with locals in my area. Do any of y'all have advice on what might be the best handheld voice recorder that's high quality sound but small and discrete so my interviewees can forget that they're being recorded?

      13 votes
    29. Looking for places to get bulk OTC medicine in the US

      I have a prescription for a certain digestion aide which I need to take on a daily basis. A while back, I got a letter from my insurance that they will no longer be covering it and offering it...

      I have a prescription for a certain digestion aide which I need to take on a daily basis. A while back, I got a letter from my insurance that they will no longer be covering it and offering it through the pharmacy counter because it's an over-the-counter medication.

      The problem is that almost nobody sells this drug in large quantities. I used to get a 3-month supply, 100 pills, for something less than $10. Now the best price I can seem to find is $12 for a 42-pack, and annoyingly they only ever come in incredibly irritating blister packs (a pox on the people who invented putting pills in those things!), or an equally unhinged option of being spread between three separate bottles and boxed together.

      I did happen to find a place that sold the drug in bulk, but I've never heard of them and their website doesn't exactly inspire trust.

      Does anyone know of a place where I might be able to find the drugs I need in quantities and packaging that makes sense, within the United States?

      23 votes
    30. Home-lab set-up ... Docker vs native servers? Pros and cons of each?

      And as long as I'm asking ... nginx or Apache (or Caddy or whatever else you think is best). I'm hosting a few web sites and services, but currently, everything is "out there" on VPSes. I want to...

      And as long as I'm asking ... nginx or Apache (or Caddy or whatever else you think is best).

      I'm hosting a few web sites and services, but currently, everything is "out there" on VPSes. I want to bring it all in-house, go back to the old days of actually hosting websites out of my living room.

      Towards that end, I am gradually upgrading and overhauling all the sites and services, fixing long-standing issues and inefficiencies in the config files, merging servers, etc.

      I have never learned Docker. I've started to several times, worked with it a bit on a job once, used it a bit here and there; so I'm not clueless, but it would be a learning curve.

      Also, I'm running one main service (Nextcloud) that officially, only supports Apache -- there absolutely are nginx setup guidelines and tutorials and such, but that's all unofficial, experimental setups.

      And I'm running another major service (Synapse), on nginx.

      And I want to merge the servers, and choose one web server to host both of them, and I don't know which way to go there.

      Thanks for any feedback.

      25 votes
    31. Potentially autistic and frustrated

      A few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and we talked for like an hour. We got onto the topic of autism and I mentioned how I was always curious if I had it. She spent like five or so minutes...

      A few months ago I went to the psychiatrist and we talked for like an hour. We got onto the topic of autism and I mentioned how I was always curious if I had it. She spent like five or so minutes asking me questions and said she would put me as autism coded in my chart.

      I wasn't sure if that meant it was an official diagnosis or not but I didn't think to ask until after the appointment. It seemed really quick for it to be an official diagnosis.

      I went back to her last week and brought up that she marked me as "autism coded." I asked "is that a diagnosis or does it just mean it's suspected?" She didn't really give a straightforward answer and just said that I have "really really high functioning autism."

      But I don't know if that means I'm officially diagnosed. And if I take her at her words of calling me autistic and then applying that label to myself I feel like a fake because I never had a huge assessment like most people.

      Thoughts? Advice? Am I overthinking this?

      21 votes
    32. Fridge at 41°F - safe or not?

      Heya! So I've got a new fridge, a GE GTS22KGNRWW 21.9ft³. Skipping over the fridge water line bursting and causing thousands of dollars of damage followed by the fridge crapping out, we're just...

      Heya! So I've got a new fridge, a GE GTS22KGNRWW 21.9ft³. Skipping over the fridge water line bursting and causing thousands of dollars of damage followed by the fridge crapping out, we're just trying to make sure the fridge is OK before the warranty expires and because we have a baby in the house.

      The ambient air was still above 41°F a few hours after we got it, so I cranked it to full blast and put a glass of water in to have a better testing point. The ambient air has been fluctuating between like 39-44° F and the water glass measured between like 39.0°-41.0° F after about 24 hours with occasional use. I know I'm worrying because the last fridge just crapped out and spoiled a ton of food, and I know opening the door always causes it to drop (which I'm obviously doing to test it), but it seems kind of high to me for a brand new fridge if 41 is really the upper limit. Is this an acceptable range, or should we ask for someone to come out and look at it?

      16 votes
    33. Sleep discipline

      I have trouble setting a time to sleep and following through on it, and it's made my life needlessly worse. I find it especially difficult when I've had a really productive or busy day. I've tried...

      I have trouble setting a time to sleep and following through on it, and it's made my life needlessly worse. I find it especially difficult when I've had a really productive or busy day. I've tried setting a schedule on my phone that turns off certain apps past a certain time, but I keep manually turning it off. Any tips?

      28 votes
    34. Working on a ~2008 dream gaming computer running Vista (in an old server)

      Any clever ways to connect to the Internet safely to update drivers, security, etc? I'd only want to connect to Intel, AMD, Microsoft, etc, and then would physically disconnect the lan card. I...

      Any clever ways to connect to the Internet safely to update drivers, security, etc? I'd only want to connect to Intel, AMD, Microsoft, etc, and then would physically disconnect the lan card. I know, dangerous, but I'm trying a piecemeal approach with a flash drive and getting mixed results. I tried to update to Service Pack 2, and it bricked the computer on restart, back to flashing Vista.

      15 votes
    35. Is a career change towards cybersecurity viable for someone with an accountancy background?

      Sorry if this isn't the best place to ask. IT and cybersecurity-focused communities over on Reddit aren't exactly the most welcoming places for such questions, and reading the r/ITCareerQuestions...

      Sorry if this isn't the best place to ask. IT and cybersecurity-focused communities over on Reddit aren't exactly the most welcoming places for such questions, and reading the r/ITCareerQuestions wiki has made me seriously question if I'm being sold false promises of working in a sector that actually has a low demand for workers. Then again, that wiki page seems more geared towards the US job market.

      Two weeks ago, I responded to an Instagram ad advertising cybersecurity courses, because the job market is horrible here in the UK right now, and after some setbacks with my ACCA studies, I am seriously considering just giving up on trying to get into chartered accountancy because that path is closing many more doors for me. A course advisor rang me asking about the reasons I showed interest in the ad, then we had a long discussion about any questions I had, what the sector is apparently like, etc.

      Some of the claims seem too good to be true, i.e. that it's an industry where you can afford to be picky, jobs outnumber people by almost 3 to 1, most jobs are remote, the provider boasts a 90%+ employment rate, I don't need programming experience, the most complex thing I'd be doing is running command prompt/powershell commands and scripts.

      The firm itself seems legitimate. They offer CompTIA, Microsoft, Cisco, AWS and EC-Council certifications, have good review scores on Trustpilot, are a registered training provider and limited company in the UK, and are supposedly an assured service provider with the National Cyber Security Centre (NCSC.) The courses they mentioned to me in their syllabus supposedly come to £4k and would take about six months.

      1. Am I right to be wary about what this training provider are offering?
      2. Do you require extensive programming knowledge or a computer science background to work in cybersecurity in any capacity? A friend with an IT background has told me that Python is useful in his field.
      3. Is the reality of IT and cybersecurity jobs in the UK (or in the West) far different from what has been painted to me?
      24 votes
    36. I teach a student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and I need help

      Special Ed. Teacher here. This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him...

      Special Ed. Teacher here.

      This year I've been assigned a tough caseload. But my most challenging student is easily the student with Reactive Attachment Disorder and possibly autism. I'll call him Jake.

      Edit: He's in middle school, btw.

      To protect his privacy and my own, I can't give many specifics. This student is chronically online and I wouldn't put it past him to Google situations he's caused in my class.

      Some vague descriptions of the things he's done this year:

      -Repeatedly jokes about pedophilia and teachers who have been arrested for it. It makes me uncomfortable that he does this, obviously. The only saving grace here is that he has thrown it around so many times, including calling multiple teachers pedophiles last year, that everyone knows he is just being rude and it's not a serious accusation. Thoroughly documented and I'm not really concerned about actually being accused. Fyi, I have informed his adoptive parents and they have informed his counselor. They are taking it seriously and have started investigating whether or not this is just shocking humor or a more serious part of the Jake's history before adoption.

      -Waits for the perfect time to drop rude or shocking comments to inflict maximum damage. When he wants to say something awful to me or in general, he will hold off until he has an audience and the room is relatively quiet.

      -Constantly mocks and shit talks certain students. We have dealt with it. He isn't just getting away with it. But even after consequences, separation from the students, and punishments at home, he doesn't stop. He's hung up on hating a couple of kids in particular but will generally be rude to whoever if he wants to. One of these kids is a scrappy kid from a rough school and I could totally see it ending in punches if we don't manage this.

      -Absolutely refuses to share any serious thoughts. Even when asked what kind of support he needs, what kind of rewards would motivate him, or what's bothering him, he just gives ridiculous answers in a high-pitched voice or walks away. This kid wants no part in coming up with solutions and won't even engage in a conversation about his behavior or even the behavior of others.

      -Speaking of his high pitched voice, this is the voice he always uses to say rude things. He has his normal speaking voice and then he uses this higher pitched voice when he says things that are rude or shocking. Like he has two different brains and one wants to be mean.

      -Last year, he kept a list of times he felt students and teachers had broken the code of conduct.

      -absolutely hates special Ed. Hates me for being a special ed. teacher. Reminds the other kids in my class that they're "special" constantly.

      For the record, all of these things have been addressed many times. The school has been supportive, the parents have been supportive, and everyone knows that this behavior, if continued for much longer, will likely result in a change of programming for this student. He would be placed in a more restrictive setting.

      This is kind of my last ditch effort to see if anyone has ideas, because this student is on the verge of leaving my classroom. If there is anything I can do to make it work with this kid, I would do it immediately. He's smart, witty, and unfortunately very funny in a South Park kind of a way. But he's raising hell every day and he's the first student I've had where it feels like I can't connect with him at all. And not for lack of trying.

      42 votes
    37. Where should I shop for a tuxedo?

      My best friend is getting married soon and it’s a black tie event. I’m in a privileged position, I want to spend a little extra to dress well (some friendly fashion competition between the men,...

      My best friend is getting married soon and it’s a black tie event. I’m in a privileged position, I want to spend a little extra to dress well (some friendly fashion competition between the men, and my own vanity).

      What I know: I want a tuxedo that will fit & look nicer than a rental from Men’s Wearhouse. I really like a tailored suit I bought from Suit Supply, but I’d rather not buy a tuxedo I’ll likely only wear once.

      What I don’t know: Anything about businesses other than Men’s Wearhouse that do tuxedo rentals.

      Does anyone have suggestions for businesses they’ve personally rented tuxedos from?

      Some of the tuxedos at Suit Supply sell for around $750 USD. How much do non-Men’s Wearhouse tuxedo rentals cost?

      Does a tailored tuxedo look that much better than a rental to justify buying instead of renting?

      15 votes
    38. How can I organize and store my cables?

      I have two giant drawers right now that are complete rats’ nests. Cables of every kind and type, all mixed together. You can’t tell where one cable ends and another begins. It is at the point...

      I have two giant drawers right now that are complete rats’ nests. Cables of every kind and type, all mixed together. You can’t tell where one cable ends and another begins.

      It is at the point where I recently needed a cable that I know that I have, but it was easier and less stressful to just order a new one than try to find it in the mess.

      Ideally, I’d have cables that are neatly organized, not tangled together, easily identifiable, and space efficient, but I honestly have no idea how to make this happen.

      Anyone have any tips?

      20 votes
    39. Question about REST APIS and encryption

      So I am finally starting the process of designing a personal website that can help manage and organize my finances for me. So obviously, the security of such data is paramount and for the heck of...

      So I am finally starting the process of designing a personal website that can help manage and organize my finances for me.

      So obviously, the security of such data is paramount and for the heck of it, I want to design a webapp where it doesn't operate by the rules of "trust me bro" even though I will be the one designing it and most likely will be the only one ever to use it. Just want that experience of proper encryption setup.

      Also, even if I am the one operating it, I'd like to set it up so that even if the database is compromised, none of my information is.

      skip to bottom if you want to just see my 2 question

      Did some reading online, between reading when StandardNotes does encryption as well as how it does it and some basic reading into encryption

      and the importance of not having a local unencrypted database like Joplin does

      So all that got me curious how Google encrypts the user data it has and would up reading

      and the basic take-aways seem to be:

      • utilize encryption on a field before storing it in a database so that even if the machine gets compromised, the data won't be
      • if you want to go even further, take the approach of StandardNotes, where it seems even the web server itself never touched unencrypted data it seems? Looks like all the encrypting and decrypting happens locally and only encrypted data is sent to the server
      1. But that got me curious. It can't be argued that Google is not secure. they have the best minds working there to ensure just that. and yet its also well known that their respect for user privacy is non-existent. Which means that they've made sure to protect the data [email, google searches, google docs, google maps history] from hackers but they can themselves decrypt at least some user data for the purpose of data collection and selling ads.
        But if Google can decrypt the data and that implies they store the keys on a server from what I can tell from my reading, how it is protected if someone malicious gains access to the database? If that person got access to the database and the keys that Google uses to decrypt the data, wouldn't that compromise the data?

      2. if I decide to design my webapp so that all the encrypting and decrypting happens locally, that means that if I were to decide to create a REST API for my application, that would also have to be taking in data in encrypted format, no? Cause if that takes it in plaintext, that means that my webserver would have to be responsible for encryption, which it needs the keys to do that with and if it can encrypt with keys it has access to, then it can decrypt too, no? or are websites that deal with encrypted databases and have REST APIs that can take in plain text information generally coded to be using asymmetric encryption? meaning its different keys being used for encryption and decryption? Or is API Token the key in an encrypted format? or have I misunderstood the whole thing?

      16 votes
    40. Advice on 6 year old's trantrums?

      tl;dr - Is it normal for 6 year olds to randomly start throwing massive tantrums. My son up to this point has been very mild mannered and not prone to getting upset. But the last few weeks have...

      tl;dr - Is it normal for 6 year olds to randomly start throwing massive tantrums. My son up to this point has been very mild mannered and not prone to getting upset. But the last few weeks have been insane.

      My son (6) has been going through something that is just really challenging the heck out of me. It started a few weeks ago when we were getting ready to leave for trip to visit family a few states away. He complained that his stomach hurt and began sobbing and begging to take a bath. So we accommodated and let him take 3 baths in a single day because we figured he just wasn't feeling well. We scheduled a doctor's appointment and the doctor just suggested a bland diet for a day and see how it plays out. After that he didn't really seem to have any issues, so we went ahead with our trip.

      The hours-long drive didn't seem to faze him at all and we arrived safe and sound, despite a heavy rainstorm on the way. Over the course of the trip, every time we tried to drive somewhere to meet up with family, he'd claim he was sick and if we pushed on it, he'd throw a tantrum. Which is very unlike him, to be clear. And anytime we weren't talking about a car ride, he was acting pretty normal. We thought maybe it was anxiety from the drive there? The rainstorm was very intense at times, and I can see how that could be incredibly scary for a kid.

      We spent the rest of the trip hyping him up for the drive home. My wife and I both have anxiety disorders, so we tried to help him understand that we knew how he felt and offered some advice (in a 6yo friendly way, to the best of our abilities). We also maintained a relatively bland diet for him in case he actually was feeling sick. But anyway we were absolutely dreading the ride home.

      Just getting him and his sister in the car proved to be the absolute worst day of my parenting life. He threw the tantrum of tantrums, which set his sister off and she kept trying to escape from the car. Meanwhile it was 90F+ outside and our car's AC doesn't really kick in until you start driving. I was hot, upset, angry, scared, frustrated and just not operating at peak parental power. There was a lot of yelling, a lot of trying to hold them into their seats so I could buckle them, and all of it obviously just made the situation worse. I really fucked it up and I'm still trying to work through it all.

      Long story short, we ended up separating him and his sister, with him driving home with us and his sister driving home with my parents. Once his sister was out of the car, he calmed down and we were able to leave. The plan was to just drive off and get some gas, let them both calm down, then pick her back up.

      I had to go on a work trip shortly after that trip, so I was away for most last week. In that time my wife didn't try to take the kids anywhere, for fear of having a repeat incident, but solo and outnumbered by the kids. When I got back I started trying to hype my son up for the car ride to his and his sister's 6th birthday party the next day. He tried to negotiate saying maybe we could just walk instead of drive. I explained, "no it's a short car ride, but we couldn't walk there".

      When the time came to take him to the party, he threw a tantrum, but I redirected using my car's remote start fob (he really liked that) and I talked him down a bit. The ride to the party was fine, as was the return trip. Then yesterday we did a trip to Gamestop so he could pick out a birthday present for himself and again the trip both ways was fine (with zero tantrum!). Although he has yet to get in the car with his sister since we got back from our trip a few weeks back and he has specifically called out not wanting to be in the car with her.

      BUT the last two nights he's started throwing the exact same type of tantrums at bedtime, claiming he can only sleep in our bed and he's sick and his legs hurt and all these other things. When told no, he screams bloody murder, starts kicking and hitting, and it's really difficult for me to handle that. The tantrums of course set his sister off and then we have two 6yo twins feeding off each other's sadness and anger like two colliding hurricanes.

      Is this just normal 6 year old stuff? I know they're still learning to regulate emotions and so maybe that's it? His sister went through something like this a few months ago, but it was exclusively about bedtime. She'd throw massive tantrums at bedtime while he'd just quietly go to bed. So that kind of reinforces that this is just a growth spurt of some sort? But I'm getting concerned it's something else, but I don't know what?

      29 votes
    41. I need helping figure out why the Hard Disk Drive BBS priorities keeps changing

      I have this Motherboard with 3 hard drives. I want the order to be P2 Windows P5 and I have set that order many times, but for reasons I can't figure out, every once in a while, the order changes...

      I have this Motherboard with 3 hard drives. I want the order to be

      • P2
      • Windows
      • P5

      and I have set that order many times, but for reasons I can't figure out, every once in a while, the order changes like you can see in this screenshot or other times, P5 somehow becomes the first option.

      I can't figure out how to fix this?

      11 votes
    42. How can I find some Brazilian mailing lists I was a part of in mid-1990s?

      This is probably a very long shot. I was part of quite a few maling lists / email groups back in the 1990s in Brazil. Lists for things like writing, The X-Files, Star Trek, or skepticism. I made a...

      This is probably a very long shot. I was part of quite a few maling lists / email groups back in the 1990s in Brazil. Lists for things like writing, The X-Files, Star Trek, or skepticism. I made a few friends. I know some of them were probably hosted on large foreign companies like Yahoo. I don't remember the actual names of the lists, and the internet provider where I had my email no longer exists. So I don't expect to find them easily, but I imagine that there must be some kind of archive where they may or may not exist. I'm okay with sifting through for a very long time if I have to. That may be facilitated by the fact that the Brazilian internet was fairly small back then. And I do remember possible usernames I might have used at the time, which I can use in a search.

      Is what I want possible at all? Is there some kind of centralized archive that is easy for me to use?

      Thanks!

      16 votes
    43. Any experience with GLG consulting?

      I had heard about GLG a while ago and I was just approached by someone from GLG for a project. Does anyone have experience working with them specifically? I have never done any paid consulting...

      I had heard about GLG a while ago and I was just approached by someone from GLG for a project. Does anyone have experience working with them specifically? I have never done any paid consulting gigs and I want to make sure I understand what I'm getting into.

      Thanks!

      10 votes
    44. I need advice, which laptop would you buy now?

      I would like to upgrade my aged 8 years old laptop and I'm completely undecided about which laptop to buy right now. I considered Apple Intel laptops terrible, bad thermals, overpriced,...

      I would like to upgrade my aged 8 years old laptop and I'm completely undecided about which laptop to buy right now.

      I considered Apple Intel laptops terrible, bad thermals, overpriced, unreliable, touch bar (uggg), I hated every second working on it, when the company I work for upgraded me with a M1, it was such a huge improvement from any laptop I have ever tried, absolutely no noise, incredibly performant and the longest battery life of any laptop by a lot.

      I still don't like the Apple ecosystem, and I would prefer to use Linux as my main OS, but I can't find anything that comes even closer for the price of a Mac Air, If I go with Framework I'll get a less performant machine with a way worse battery, I honestly don't think the premium on repairability is worth for me when I don't have any issues repairing more challenging laptops, at the end repairability will be how easy is to get new parts.

      ThinkPads have good reputation and repairability, but for what I see, the quality has gone down the drain in their latest models, and if I go with their premium models I get similar performance to Apple with worse battery, Dell has similar issues.

      Gaming laptops are not an option, I don't do any PC gaming and the size and aesthetics are a dealbreaker for me.

      The main issue seems to be that until ARM processors become better competitors to Apple, the battery life will be always the bottleneck, and I don't know how good the new Snapdragon X Elite compares right now.

      Besides web development, photography edition and video editing (4k), I don't do many demanding tasks, I'm more than fine with the performance of a M1 as the baseline.

      As an alternative, I'm thinking about getting a powerful desktop for the demanding tasks and a less powerful laptop with a good battery and screen, but ideally I would prefer a single machine.

      43 votes
    45. [SOLVED] Requesting help for Android Auto troubleshooting assistance

      I have a Moto G 5G 2023 and 2025 Chevy Trax that I'm trying to troubleshoot why Android Auto cannot last more than 10 minutes without crashing out and needing to either wait for the connection to...

      I have a Moto G 5G 2023 and 2025 Chevy Trax that I'm trying to troubleshoot why Android Auto cannot last more than 10 minutes without crashing out and needing to either wait for the connection to be available again, or unplug and replug the USB cord to get it to reconnect. Sometimes it goes for an extended period of time, and sometimes it won't last for longer than a minute before it crashes with no visible error on the phone. I think it might be something in RAM, but more often than not it's when Google Maps is up, with Audible in the background and I'm not sure if it's one of those or possibly my Launcher or having the three buttons turned on for my phone, or some weird esoteric thing.

      12 votes
    46. How do you resolve feelings of obligation?

      Hello tilderers, I have a dilemma I'm having that I'd like perspective on. I often find myself doing things not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel obligated to. It is better if I do...

      Hello tilderers, I have a dilemma I'm having that I'd like perspective on.

      I often find myself doing things not because I want to, but because I have to. I feel obligated to. It is better if I do X than if I don't do X, so I should do X, even if I don't want to.

      Though overall I don't consider "feeling obligated" a positive nor sustainable emotion to have.

      These are often tied to social etiquette and maintaining a status quo at the sacrifice? of your own comfort.

      Examples:

      You're an introverted so tend to not desire social activity as much, but understand socializing is good for maintaining relationships so you accept invites regardless of whether you have true desire to be out for the person/occasion/event.

      You should get a gift for Y because it's their birthday/Christmas because it's an expected, nice gesture but you don't really have a gift in mind or tendency of gift giving.

      Z does something nice for you, pays for your dinner/got a gift/done a favor, but was not something you wanted Z to do or asked them to do. Yet now you feel indebted to give back.

      General occasions where social and emotional reciprocation is expected and you're not entuned to reciprocate necessarily. And the general consequence of not reciprocating is weakening relationships/negativity from others etc.

      Where is the line between doing whatever you feel/comfortable with (selfishness/self centered?) and doing things because you are socially obligated to (caring about what other people think/feel about you).

      What is the resolution to negative feelings of obligation?

      How can obligation turn to desire?

      How does one perspective shift in this way?
      You do this not because you have to, because you want to do this.

      24 votes
    47. A nine-week (ongoing) job application has turned into a shitshow. Not sure how I should handle it...

      As some of you on here may know, I was made redundant from my Assistant Commercial Reporting Analyst job three months ago and have been struggling to find permanent work since. Many of my...

      As some of you on here may know, I was made redundant from my Assistant Commercial Reporting Analyst job three months ago and have been struggling to find permanent work since. Many of my interactions with recruiters and hiring managers have been negative and have felt like they were wasting my time, but one particular (ongoing) experience has taken the cake.

      In mid-April, I applied for an Assistant Client Accountant position through LinkedIn. The role was with a large property management and building consultancy firm (offices based in the UK & France), who have some pretty big-name clients. Fully office-based, advertised pay between £25k - £29k (already similar payscales to what credit control and purchase ledger roles near me are offering), and the position ideally asked for fully AAT qualified or ACCA part-qualified candidates (I have full AAT membership, am 3 exams into my ACCA, and have over 6 years experience in previous accounting and financial reporting roles.)

      Nine weeks later, I am still going through this application process which has been nothing short of a shitshow:

      • It has taken multiple weeks to schedule and conduct interviews for each stage, due to unanswered emails and heavily delayed responses from both the Finance and HR teams. I had emailed on nine separate occasions to schedule the the second and third stage interviews I was invited to, and only twice did I get replies. At first I was told it was due to staff sickness, but then the trend of replying in business weeks just kept going on, even after the third-stage (which I'll get to.)

      • The first stage interview was a 15 - 30 minute phone interview going through my CV and salary expectations. Stages 2 and 3 involved a series of hour-long competency based interviews, one conducted via Teams and the other in-person with the Head of Finance. This is already a ridiculous number of hoops to jump through for an office-based role with this salary level.

      • During the third-stage interview (3rd June) I was asked a lot of supervisory/leadership questions which I honestly didn't expect. It made me question whether I was being interviewed for the correct role, so I checked the job description of what I applied for. Only 4 of the 590 words contained within the job advert even alluded to me leading junior colleagues - so maybe it was easily missed?

      • On the 5th June (two days after my third-stage interview), I received an email from HR thanking me for accepting the Client Accountant position and asking me to confirm RTW (right-to-work) details. The thing is... I never received an offer letter, and after immediately chasing this up I found out the email was sent to me by mistake. This HR rep apologized and said they'd chase feedback. I emailed twice to chase this feedback and promised it would be coming.

      • Today when I emailed again to chase feedback, the HR advisor responded to raise concerns about the salary expectations I communicated in the first stage, insisted the role actually paid £26k at most and asked me to confirm a salary within their range. This is false (I know, I actually double-checked the job ad and even did a screen recording on my mobile of me going into the LinkedIn app and opening the job posting) and I get the impression that they're now trying to lowball me. I emailed again asking for clarification where I linked the job ads and I get the feeling they confused the salary bands with a Purchase Ledger role I applied for several months prior but was not considered for.

      I will find out Monday (after nearly three weeks) if I was successful in my application, but even if they offer me the job at a reduced salary rather than outright reject me, I am already seeing a shitload of red flags.

      At this point I've had enough. Normally I'd cut my ties and move on but with how desperate I've been for work and how much I feel like this company has taken me for a ride, I feel the need to take things further. Not sure whether I should (or even could) formally raise a complaint, drop some negative feedback on their Glassdoor page, or go public (with receipts) and openly name & shame the company on LinkedIn, Facebook or Instagram. The latter options feel like I'd be going nucelar and as cathartic as it would be, I'm worried it would be seen as unprofessional and hurt my future job prospects.

      What would be the best way to proceed?

      30 votes
    48. Any Ubiquiti Unifi users? - Questions on zone firewall policies

      I'd normally post this on reddit...but I thought I'd give the Tildes Tech Support Team a try. I have a Ubiquiti Unifi Cloud Gateway Ultra and I'm trying to better understand zone firewall...

      I'd normally post this on reddit...but I thought I'd give the Tildes Tech Support Team a try.

      I have a Ubiquiti Unifi Cloud Gateway Ultra and I'm trying to better understand zone firewall management and VLANs and all that.

      I'll start with a screenshot. I'm only changing the two settings highlighted in red.

      I'm trying to understand the difference between two firewall policy settings:

      1. Action = Allow ONLY, AND Connection State = Return Traffic
      2. Action = Allow AND Auto Allow Return Traffic checked, AND Connection State = All

      I have two VLANs -- "Internal" and "Lab." Each is in their own policy zone, also called "Internal" and "Lab." The "Internal" VLAN does not have the "Isolate Network" option checked, but "Lab" does.

      What I want is devices in "Internal" able to initiate and maintain connections with devices in "Lab." But I don't want devices in "Lab" able to initiate connections to devices in "Internal."

      With Policy 1, "Internal" can't reach "Lab" nor vice versa. Hmm.

      With Policy 2, "Internal" can ping and SSH into devices in "Lab," but not the other way around. Perfect; that's what I want.

      And now my question(s): What is the difference between these two policies? To me, they look the same. But clearly the end results say they're not. So what's actually going on here? Additionally, assuming I could get Policy 1 to do what I want, is Policy 2 more vulnerable from a cybersecurity perspective than Policy 1?

      If it helps, here's a screenshot of my zone matrix, with focus on source "Internal" and destination "Lab."

      Thanks!

      17 votes
    49. Summer roadtrip in Scandinavia - need advice!

      Hi all, we're planning an RV roadtrip to Scandinavia in July. We'll be taking off from France and so far we're clear on the route until we get to Denmark; the issue is picking between Sweden and...

      Hi all, we're planning an RV roadtrip to Scandinavia in July. We'll be taking off from France and so far we're clear on the route until we get to Denmark; the issue is picking between Sweden and Norway for the main leg of the trip. We take off July 5th from Paris and need to be back the 26th. Ideally we would have done a bit of both countries in that time, but I don't think that's realistic (I'm the only driver) and we don't want to rush.

      I've trawled the internet for information and advice (Reddit, Youtube roadtrip sites etc), but it's only made it harder to choose. There are so many cool places to visit, and things to see and do! We're leaning towards Norway, but I'm looking for others' thoughts before making our final choice. Here's what we've considered so far:

      • We want to focus on being in nature and enjoying the outdoors. Other than spending a day or two in Copenhagen, we're not really looking to stay in the big cities.
      • We (well, my wife and kids) are pretty active. We'll probably be looking to go hiking, cycling, swimming, climbing, kayaking/paddling, etc. Between the two, Norway seems to have the most opportunities to do this?
      • The RV is fairly large, more than 7m in length, so I'd rather not find myself driving on very small, tight and winding roads. I understand Sweden's roads are more forgiving in this regard?
      • We want to avoid places that are overly crowded in the summmer. While places like Trolltunga and Lofoten are beautiful, I expect there will be a lot of tourists there at that time. We dont want to contribute to clogging roads and overcrowding.
      • I have downloaded a bunch of apps and maps that give us info on places to park and sleep overnight. I'm not opposed to wild camping, but my main priority will be my family's safety. Staying at paid campsites is not an issue, but we also want some degree of freedom to move around.
      • It seems our best option would be to stay in the southern areas of either/both, but I confess I'm tempted to visit a glacier if we can (though it's not a deal-breaker).
      • I'm a birdwatcher (I know, summer is not the best period for this), so if anyone knows interesting spots for that I'm all ears!

      I know that's a lot of information, but we'd be grateful for any thoughts that could help us make a decision and plan out our itinerary. Any tips you may have are very welcome!

      12 votes
    50. Not sure if there is a name for this setup?

      So, I want to achieve something particular regarding my home network. I want to have 2 routers, one is my main router that everything connects to except for my devices where I stream things from,...

      So, I want to achieve something particular regarding my home network.
      I want to have 2 routers, one is my main router that everything connects to except for my devices where I stream things from, and when it comes to streaming devices, I want those to use a different router that plugs into the main router

      Why? I have been selected for the focalmeter panel and that device is connected to a router to

      1. intercept all packets going to the router it is setup with
      2. replaces the hostnames of all the devices with a random selection of letters (think HH123-4) and I don't want that to happen with my servers. (aka it takes over the DHCP service on the router)

      part 1 kinda bothers me but 2 is such a nuisance for when I am doing SSH, So my solution is to get a secondary router for the "streaming" part of my network, hook that router up to my main router and then let the focalmeter take over the DHCP service of that secondary router and so everything it does impacts only the streaming part of my network. Like the focalmeter could literally fuck up the secondary router and my servers and machines I use for non-streaming reasons would not be affected in any way.

      My streaming devices need to be able to access my servers to be able to access my jellyfin but that's the only necessary connection I can think of atm. Although it would be nice if I can have the devices on my main network access my streaming devices over the network too.

      All that to say, when looking up how to get 2 routers work side-by-side like that with both their DHCP services up and running but not conflicting, I dont really know what to look for. Am I trying to setup a subnet or is there some other word for the network architecture I am trying to achieve?

      6 votes