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    1. “It can’t be that easy, right?” (a Linux desktop environment appreciation post)

      I daily drive Pop!_OS, which uses the GNOME desktop environment. I know that DEs are a hotly contested space among Linux users, and my use of GNOME wasn’t so much a choice as it was a default:...

      I daily drive Pop!_OS, which uses the GNOME desktop environment. I know that DEs are a hotly contested space among Linux users, and my use of GNOME wasn’t so much a choice as it was a default: it’s what came with my distro.

      I like GNOME. I don’t really understand the hate it often gets, but I also don’t really have the legacy understanding of Linux that a lot of people do, and it seems like a lot of distaste lies there. I’m as casual a user as they come — Linux for me is like a Chromebook: it “just works” in that I pretty much need it to get me online and manage some documents. (I do also play games on it, for which Steam and Proton have been a huge boon.)

      I also have a Steam Deck, and it uses KDE’s Plasma on the desktop side, so I got to see what that was like. I also like KDE. It’s very different from GNOME, but I can see the appeal. It feels more like Windows but also has a lot of little nice touches and additions. Also, no ads.

      This got me thinking: what if I tried using KDE instead of GNOME on my laptop?

      I assumed that this would be a big deal. Like, I would have to completely gut my distribution, or reinstall it fresh. Multiple hours of work. Lots of preparation. Looking up myriad terminal commands I don’t understand and hoping they do what they’re supposed to, because if they don’t I’m really screwed — as soon as something goes wrong “under the hood” I’m dead in the water when it comes to fixing it.

      But I was looking on System76’s support site and they made it seem super simple. A single terminal command to install the whole DE?

      It can’t be that easy, right?

      I am astonished to say that it WAS.

      I ran the command, had to select between gdm3 and sddm (a choice which I didn’t understand at all so I searched around a bit before just going with the default: gdm3), and then rebooted.

      I can now select between GNOME and KDE on the login screen, and both work flawlessly. It was so easy.

      I don’t know who to credit for this. Did System76 do a great job of making this easy on their distro? Did the KDE team work hard to make their DE effortlessly plug-and-play? Is this just a general product of the way Linux handles its different components?

      I don’t know but I’m willing to spread the love around to anyone and everyone who contributes to Linux and all of its facets. It’s wild to me that I can so easily reskin my entire operating system in the same way that I used to do with Winamp back in the day. I keep waiting for something to go wrong, but after a few days of this, I’ve realized that everything still “just works,” automagically.

      A big thanks here to anyone who has a hand in open-source software and making computing better for people like me, who have (mostly) no idea what they’re doing.

      56 votes
    2. Put an "ignore" link next to the topic name in topic lists

      It would be convenient not to have to open a topic to click the "ignore" link. Being forced to open a topic to click the "ignore" link isn't going to make me give the topic a second chance. :-)....

      It would be convenient not to have to open a topic to click the "ignore" link.

      Being forced to open a topic to click the "ignore" link isn't going to make me give the topic a second chance. :-).

      Thanks.

      12 votes
    3. Any powdercoating experts here? Facing issues with powdercoating on top of zinc plated mild steel.

      I've been having issues with powdercoating on top of zinc plated mild steel sometimes. Have issues like small dots visible instead of a smooth texture. It looks like how a zit or pimple looks on...

      I've been having issues with powdercoating on top of zinc plated mild steel sometimes. Have issues like small dots visible instead of a smooth texture.

      It looks like how a zit or pimple looks on the skin.

      After zinc plating, it is pre heated for 15 mins at 150 degrees celsius. Then sand it with some 80 no sandpaper. Finally powder coat it and cure it again for 20 mins.

      Amy inputs would be appreciated. Thanks guys.

      Attached some images below:

      https://cubeupload.com/im/Temporalator/Screenshot2024061610.jpg

      https://cubeupload.com/im/Temporalator/18bScreenshot2024061610.jpg

      Edit:
      Hi guys, I posted recently about facing issues with powdercoating zinc plated mild steel. And I'm really thankful for all the responses I got. The zit like small dots I had last time were pretty much solved with outgassing.

      I am now facing another issue where the product has sort of tiny indents or pinholes. I can get my nail in them. Shared some photos below. If you guys could shed some light on what these are and why this is happening despite outgassing, it would be great.

      Currently outgassing the parts at 250 degrees celsius for 30 mins. The curing temperature after that is 200 degrees celsius for 20 mins.

      https://cubeupload.com/im/Temporalator/WhatsAppImage2024062.jpeg

      https://cubeupload.com/im/Temporalator/f15WhatsAppImage2024062.jpeg

      https://cubeupload.com/im/Temporalator/15eWhatsAppImage2024062.jpeg

      https://cubeupload.com/im/Temporalator/9caWhatsAppImage2024062.jpeg

      Thanks everyone.

      29 votes
    4. Co-op game recommendations

      Edit: This community is amazing, thank you all for all of your suggestions. Feel free to keep them coming. I have a Google doc full of ideas with my comments that I'm going to drop on him. I was...

      Edit: This community is amazing, thank you all for all of your suggestions. Feel free to keep them coming. I have a Google doc full of ideas with my comments that I'm going to drop on him. I was trying to respond to everyone and then discovered that Tildes will rate limit you. So if I don't respond to you, I'm sorry but I definitely read your comment and checked out your suggestions!

      My friend suffers from depression and lives 6 hours away from me so the happiest I see him is when we are regularly gaming together. The problem is that I haven't been able to find a game we both wanted to play for a while.

      I just cannot get into all the survival crafting games that seem to dominate co-op gaming these days. I am looking for suggestions for anything else. Also, it needs to be an online co-op instead of a couch co-op.

      His computer isn't the best so that needs to be a consideration, nothing wrong with older games. Ideally we are talking about PC games on Steam.

      Examples:

      • we played a ton of Risk of Rain 2, probably the last game we played a lot together
      • we have played through Halo co-op a bunch of times.

      Who has ideas for me?

      34 votes
    5. Advice for hosting (and building) a personal website

      Hey all! I've been thinking about buying a domain and building a personal website for myself -- at this point just a personal website with links to my socials, my CV, maybe any interesting...

      Hey all! I've been thinking about buying a domain and building a personal website for myself -- at this point just a personal website with links to my socials, my CV, maybe any interesting projects I want to publicize. Maybe someday I'll decide I want to add a blog or build a webapp or something, but for now it'll be something simple and static.

      My programming experience is very much not in the frontend side of things (I'm a data scientist and mostly use python day-to-day). I played around with HTML messing with my Tumblr theme enough back in the day that I'm reasonably sure I can build something solidly web 1.0, and I've toyed with stuff like Jekyll in the past. But I was wondering if I could use this as an opportunity to build up some basic skills that I could put on my resume for the future. But I have no idea what's out there that would be useful and quick to learn but wouldn't be massive overkill for a project like this.

      I also have no idea how web-hosting works and who to go with if I want to build a personal website myself rather than relying on something like Wix or Wordpress. Most of the easily-Google-able advice is for different use-cases. Advice is either people who want something user-friendly with minimal coding like Wordpress or it's for something properly big and commercial, neither of which is me.

      Anyway, I know we've got a lot of suitably tech-y people here on Tildes, so I'm hoping people here have good advice for this sort of use case. Thanks!

      21 votes
    6. Update #2 - "Reopening", Advertising, and so on

      I picked ~misc and don't really have an idea of what tags would be appropriate. If there's stuff I can include in future posts like this I'll be glad to make sure they're there, just let me know....

      I picked ~misc and don't really have an idea of what tags would be appropriate. If there's stuff I can include in future posts like this I'll be glad to make sure they're there, just let me know. There probably won't be one for a long while but I'll remember. Technically I am advertising myself a bit, but I think I've framed it well enough that ya'll will see it's not really the point of the post. I'll never be bothering ya'll with offers and ads and shit.

      This is a continuation from a post I made a while back about how it's going with the endeavor I've set in front of myself. In some ways, things proceed as I'd hoped, while in others there's been need for flexibility/adjustment. I wanted to give an update because a few big steps happened this past week which hopefully mean moving into a busier phase of the whole thing, and to add to the corpus, create the proof of what this all was as it begins if that makes sense.

      The biggest thing has been an article published in our local paper. Two, actually, which were combined together into a front page spread I did not expect. Yes, there's a photo of us and our contact info in there, and yes, you're welcome to reach us if you've an idea for something you'd like to do. You'll be talking to me, and I'll be happy to go over details and land on pricing that actually does work for both of us. Primarily we are offering the space, with some ability to accommodate large groups and connections with folks who can provide stuff. It depends on what you want, how things will be priced. The less you need us to do, the less we need to charge. We don't want to regularly be a place where folks stay overnight, but I can probably swing that from time to time for someone coming from far away. If you aim to do something in the near term, do be aware it is hot as shit down here and very humid. The house is a-ok staying cool, but you'll want to be prepared for Mississippi in the summer. I have a dog too, so if you've got allergies you'll need to prep accordingly. She's gonna be 16 this year, she's nothing but friendly to people and sleeps a lot. Pets are welcome, provided they are house-trained and well behaved.

      I am intentionally avoiding the internet on the whole for reasons I'll get into, but I do want to extend an offer to this forum in particular, as thanks for allowing me the space for expressing my thoughts as they took shape. I'm aware the site is public facing - what I'm going to share here is public already. I have to bite the bullet on sacrificing some anonymity and just try to control how that anonymity goes away, is how I've come to see it. You won't find me on social media, and what exists for the house/my grandmother is wildly out of date/largely inaccessible - it's gonna stay that way if all remains up to me, so this is just about the only way for someone outside of Brookhaven to know of us at this time. I'd like for at least a few people to know what we were up to, in a form that serves as proof of my intent from its actual beginnings. While the plan took shape before I ever wrote about it, it was in writing about it that I was able to make it clear to myself, what I aim to be doing, so I feel like it's part of completing things to share this stuff here.

      The paper is very much a local thing, they got a few details wrong and you'll probably pick out how the quotes don't quite sound like me if you've read a lot of what I've posted. It's fine, the details in need of correction aren't critical. There isn't a lot in there about the more high-minded stuff I like to write about, because I'm not there yet. For now, it's simply building a business out of something, I have to make the something from which that business will spring. I'll think more about where it goes when I've got it moving. The article was free, which was pretty awesome. The paper is in a slow time, and it's mostly one guy doing a lot of the writing, they were just happy to have something to include. I think he did great.

      The articles worked, too. I got calls the day the print version went out, and am expecting some followups soon to set dates and square away payment. I go walking downtown every day in the afternoon, and got some extra attention. While it's possible, while the pressure is light, I've been taking advantage by trying to advertise almost solely through word of mouth and face-to-face interactions, fully aware it will take a while for that to have an effect and that I may need to branch out fast if pressures change. Thus far, it's been the local paper, a print ad in a different paper that goes out primarily to local businesses, and a radio ad. There's a couple of reasons I've stuck to stuff like that.

      The first is that I think it will provide a good foundation for sustaining the enterprise. If it's possible to have enough business to stay around purely from what exists around me, that means I can capitalize maximally if/when we do extend advertising outside our area, and it means security if for whatever reason those means can't be utilized. I don't want to be dependent on the internet for a livelihood if I can possibly manage it. It's not so principled a position that I'd refuse to do it at any point, rather it's like a back-pocket option, something to be engaged with strategically at what I determine to be either the proper time or because the needs have grown past what I can sustain without it, if that makes sense. My aim is to be a part of this town, to be of it, so I want to keep what we're doing as local and simple as possible. I have to be ready to constrain everything and take care of my grandmother too. I won't let that priority slip and will endure whatever hardship is necessary to fulfill it. It's easier to do that the smaller things are, a bit of a balancing act.

      The second reason is much more practical and kind of silly. My grandmother's computer is the biggest security risk I think I've ever encountered in person. I refuse to introduce new online components when such a risk exists, if that makes sense, and I will endure whatever hit to efficiency/development it means until I can get it corrected. Her usage habits are minimal which is a lucky thing - she sticks to old fashioned stuff for almost everything. But, a priority of mine is that she can see and understand everything I'm doing, so I need this machine to be in a better state before I can take some of the steps with that. The challenge of it isn't technical at all, I could get the thing in good working order in a day, probably.

      To give you an idea of what's difficult here, imagine for a moment you just ignored the internet as a whole since it began. You used it, you know how to do some stuff on it, but only by way of memorizing actions, the steps necessary to do a thing you wanted, a setup someone made for you. You never really engaged with what the stuff you use is designed for, you didn't follow how any of it developed, you're (blissfully, I'd say) unaware of pretty much that whole end of things. It's very difficult to explain the danger of something like an AI phishing scam, to someone who for all intents and purposes, never learned what phishing is, and further doesn't tend to believe in the shittiness of other people. That last part is one of the reasons I love my grandmother as much as I do, but it does make this task harder, and delays further action on my part.

      I've gotten the machine to as secure a state as I can, and have gotten the data backed up, so hopefully movement really gets going on this and I can feel better about spreading out our net, so to speak. I think what frustrates me about it is having been there across years of time - a lot of why this machine is the way it is, is because other people took it upon themselves to "fix it" and almost none of them knew what the hell they were doing. They didn't explain anything to my grandmother either. Their interactions mean misunderstandings on my grandmother's part, and the lack of a foundation of knowledge means it's starting from zero in a way I have never actually encountered before doing this kind of work. I've gotten close, seen some pretty absurd things, but the lack here is just of a different kind, more complex than it seems. I've been writing about it separately/on my own because I think the experience stands as a sort of ultimate test of a lot of the stuff I did before I got here.

      There is also health to think about. The priority, for now, is to set things up in a way which is compatible with what my grandmother can do. I'm trying to set up situations that let her do the things that make her happiest, and do all of the nitty-gritty shitty stuff myself. That means house maintenance, yard work, grocery shopping, cooking, arranging for stuff like an electrician when something breaks, learning how to do some of the fixing myself. I've only ever rented. I've never been in a position to maintain a house before, and as I'm sure plenty of you know far better than me, that's a good bit to learn all on its own. Especially with a home as old and complicated as this one with an owner who hasn't done a lot of that herself. Can't exactly tell me what needs doing when someone else was being paid to come do it for years. I feel good about it though, I like to learn and I like to fix things, and there's lots of opportunity. I've been able to eliminate a lot of costs and reduce regular expenses by taking on a lot of what others were doing and applying effective fixes to longstanding issues. It's very fulfilling, like getting to do the type of work I always hit a wall with in all my other workplaces, improve and optimize. That it's for my family brings together a lot of what matters the most to me, keeps me constantly motivated.

      The town is nice too. It's been a few months so I've gotten more acclimated, the slower pace of things and friendlier atmosphere really does a lot for me. Here are a bunch of images of downtown I took on some of my walks. Because of the slower pace, I can be measured, precise, take the proper time to consider things and work out problems without feeling like I'm in some inner state of siege/under the gun all the time. At first I missed a lot of what was available to me elsewhere, but as time went on I came to realize a lot of that just didn't matter as much as I thought it did. As much as I love a good Indian restaurant and a computer store, not having them is not the detriment my mind used to pretend it was. Along with that has come an explosion of creativity, I've done a ridiculous amount of writing and reading, and am slowly getting myself up to snuff drawing things. The house exists on an art school campus, and from what I've gathered reading local magazines the presence of that school has done a ton to really give this place character and variety. My hope is to really lean into that, support it and see if we can have our space be a place for folks to work their creativity. Connections are taking shape and that's made me real happy to see. I cannot tell you how heartwarming it is, for example, to talk about this stuff with the guy who does a radio show and then hear him on the radio a day later saying "this place is really good you should go see it!" Folks are really beginning to grasp my aims when it comes to the scale and type of stuff we want to do, and I haven't really encountered much suspicion/doubt/etc. Folks tend to just trust the simple motives. I can't ask for more than that, the sense of gratitude I wake up with every day is beyond my ability to capture here.

      So, there you go. Another step taken, one more further toward whatever comes, as precisely as I can manage to get to the goals. I wanted to post the followup because I said I'd do that and as part of the effort itself, share the vision and the way it plays out in the hope others spot what my eyes miss, and/or that they might take something useful for themselves from it. I'd love to read it if you have thoughts, opinions, advice, experience. Or if you just want to talk about the high minded stuff, I do like doing that. Helps me stay consistent. Anyway, i've said plenty, so off I go to walk around downtown again. I've got that phone on me all the time, call/text whenever (text if it's after 5pm CST, is my only request with that). As always, I very much appreciate you taking the time and giving me your attention.

      16 votes
    7. How to find purpose in life?

      I often think about the purpose and/or meaning of life and I've been struggling to work through these thoughts lately. As I teen I've had these thoughts often, but after experiencing my first...

      I often think about the purpose and/or meaning of life and I've been struggling to work through these thoughts lately. As I teen I've had these thoughts often, but after experiencing my first manic episode (that led to psychosis) back in August 2022, the question of "What's the point?" pops into my head quite frequently.

      Alongside this I've been struggling to come to terms with my new diagnosis of 'Bipolar Type I with psychotic features' as I've already been diagnosed with ADHD back in 2017 and I realize that both of these are life-long diagnoses. I know I just have to learn how to live with them, but that's been a tough pill to swallow.

      I should mention that I'm not suicidal or anything, but rather I feel hollow and numb inside as I am very unfulfilled with life. Some days are okay and I'm still functioning and taking care of myself (so it's not like a full-blown depression), but as I mentioned before, I just don't see the point in all of this and don't find many things to be worthwhile or enjoyable anymore.

      Basically I feel like a shell of my former self after my episode and have found much difficulty in enjoying the things I liked before from hobbies, to music and even food (I was a highly food-driven person). It's definitely much better than it was immediately after my episode, but it's as though life has been sucked out of me and I'm just going through the motions of living because it's what I'm supposed to do. I know recovery takes time, but it's been nearly 2 years since my episode and I thought this feeling would go away by now...

      (I've also been seeing a counselor and OT and am doing things such as CBT and ACT which helped a bit, but not enough as I am here asking questions on an online forum seeking help).

      If you have any advice on how to work through this it would be appreciated.


      EDIT (12/6/24): I wanted to say thank you to all the responses and advice given. I may not have replied to everyone, but just know that I have been reading the comments and I do appreciate them :)

      47 votes
    8. UI/UX Design for web dev

      Does anyone have any good resources, books or otherwise, in regards do good design for web dev? I'm a self taught full stack dev who just can't really make things look "pretty". They are...

      Does anyone have any good resources, books or otherwise, in regards do good design for web dev? I'm a self taught full stack dev who just can't really make things look "pretty". They are functional, but..that's about it. I know CSS, but maybe I just don't have an eye for it?

      Any suggestions would be great, thanks.

      19 votes
    9. Discussing AI music - examples and some thoughts

      I'm not sure if this would be better for ~music, ~tech, or what, but after messing around with Udio for a bit, I made some stuff I liked and wanted to get folks' thoughts. Imo, it's incredible to...

      I'm not sure if this would be better for ~music, ~tech, or what, but after messing around with Udio for a bit, I made some stuff I liked and wanted to get folks' thoughts. Imo, it's incredible to be able to get music from a text prompt - it means I, as someone who is mostly ignorant to music production, can have my musical idea and actually render that out as music for someone to hear. I can think "damn that would be cool" and then in kind of a fuzzy way, make it happen then and there. Whether it's good, I don't know. That's not up to me, really, but it is the kind of sound I wanted to happen, so I'm left conflicted on how to feel about it. Figured it would be worthwhile to show folks some of it, and see what they think.

      I do enjoy synth and metal, so there's a lot of that in these. Feel free to be as critical as you like. If I can apply your criticism I will try to do it, and if you want to see how that works out, I'll share.

      1. Cosmoterrestrial
      2. A Floyd, Pinkly
      3. Empire's Demise, Foretold
      4. Metal for Ghosts Bedsheet Edition (the very end of this one is hilariously appropriate)
      5. Multi-3DS Drifting

      And here's a link to my profile, if you would like to browse. It will update too when I put more up.

      They're all instrumental. Lyrical music is less appealing to me in general and Udio's voices do sound kinda weird to me more often than not. The way I made the tracks, I would start with a clip combining some genres/moods, and then add to either end of the clip until I had a complete song. Along the way, I could introduce new elements/transitions by using more text/tweaking various settings and flipping "manual mode" on and off. The results were fuzzy; I didn't always get what I wanted, but I could keep trying until I did, or until I got something that sounded "better". I wrote all the titles after the song was finished. The album art is from a text prompt.

      I'm not sure what I think, to be honest. On the one hand, a lot of the creative decision-making wasn't mine. On the other, the song would not be what it is without me making decisions about how it came about and what feelings/moods/genres were focused upon/utilized. I think the best I can say is "use the tool and see whether it's enough to count". To me it feels almost 50/50, like I've "collaborated with my computer" rather than "made music". Does it matter? If the sound is the intended sound, the sound I hoped to make and wanted to share, is that enough to say it is "my music"? Is this perhaps just what it looks like to be a beginner in a different paradigm?

      When I used Suno, I had a much more rigid opinion. What it produced, I called "computer spit". Because, all I could actually control was telling it to continue, changing the prompt, and giving it structure/genre tags that felt like a coin flip in terms of effectiveness. I had a really hard time trying to get it to keep/recall melody, and my attempts to guide it along felt more like gambling than deliberate decisions. It also couldn't keep enough in context to make the overall song consistent with respect to instrumentation. It's different with Udio, both because you have a lot of additional tools, and because it feels like those tools work more consistently at making the model do what you want. I still call the results "computer spit" where I've shown them off, but I'm unsure now whether the production has enough of myself in it to be something more. Perhaps not on the same level as something someone produced by playing an instrument, or choosing samples/arranging things in software, but also not quite the same as the computer just rolling along, with me going "thumbs up" or "thumbs down". Maybe these distinctions don't actually matter, but I'd be curious if anyone has thoughts along these lines.

      I'm intentionally trying to avoid a discussion about the morality of the thing or what political/social ramifications it has, not because I don't care about that but because I'm in the middle of trying to understand the tool and what its results mean. Would you consider what I've posted here work I could claim as my own, or do you think the computer has enough of a role to say it's not? Is my role in the production large enough? Or perhaps you have a stronger position, that nothing the computer can possibly do in this way counts as original music. Does any of this change that position for you? I ask because I've gone through a lot of opinions myself as I've been following things, and one interesting bit is that I have not gotten any copyright notices when I've uploaded the music to Youtube (I did get notices with Suno's music). As far as I can tell, with what is available to me, this is all original.

      And of course, the most important one: Did you like it? Is there something you think would make them better? Do they all suffer from something I'm not seeing/hearing? I'm not an expert technician nor a music producer, so perhaps my ignorant ears are leading me astray. Either way, I've had a ton of fun doing this, and the results to my ear are fun to listen to while I'm doing stuff. I wouldn't call any of it the best music I've ever heard, but I can also think of a lot that is worse. I think what I wonder the most is whether it comes off bland/plain. Most of the folks I show things to are a bit too caught up in being astounded/disturbed to really give me much feedback, so perhaps putting the request in this form will work out a bit better - ya'll have time to think on it.

      As always, your time and attention is greatly appreciated

      Edit: I should clarify. I am not attempting to be a musician. Hence calling it "computer spit" with anything public, and the lack of any effort to pitch it as something I did only on my own. Rather, I recognize the limit of my own understanding, and felt I'd hit a point where my ignorance of production meant I could not judge the results as well as I'd like. That means it's time to engage some folks because folks out there are likely to know what I do not and see things I can't. From that angle, a lot of the discussion is very interesting, and I'll be responding to those in a bit. But there's no need to argue for doing the work - I recognize that. I'm trying to see past my own horizons with a medium I don't put the work into. I'm a consumer of music, not a creator, so getting some perspective from folks more acquainted with creating and with the technology is really what I'm after in sharing the experience.


      Edit again: Thank you all for a very interesting discussion. I had a spare evening/morning and this was a good use of it. For the sake of tying a bow on the whole thing, I'll share my takeaways as succinctly as I can manage.

      It seems, at present, and at best, the role these tools can play is of a sort of personal noise generator. The output is not of sufficient interest, quality, complexity, etc., to really be regarded the same as human-produced music, is the overall impression I have been left with. And for other reasons, it may be that the fuzziness of it all is a permanent feature, and thus a permanent constraint on how far toward "authentic" the results can ever get. I was trying to avoid a discussion about my own creativity, the value of doing work, societal ramifications, etc., so I'll work on how to present things better. For what it's worth, this has all been part of what I do creatively - my area of study was philosophy, and the goal of that to my mind has always been "achieving clarity". So I am attempting to achieve clarity with things as they develop, as a hobby sort of interest while I'm busy doing completely different stuff and to better protect my own mind against dumb marketing and hype. So once again, I appreciate you all taking the time, and I wish you all well in all the things you do.

      24 votes
    10. Sid Meyer's Alpha Centauri lovers, tell me what sets it apart

      I'm currently researching the 4x Alpha Centauri, and I'm wondering what, in your mind, sets it apart from other 4x, or what makes it better. Thanks for providing some rationale and not just...

      I'm currently researching the 4x Alpha Centauri, and I'm wondering what, in your mind, sets it apart from other 4x, or what makes it better.
      Thanks for providing some rationale and not just dumping on other 4x

      29 votes
    11. Pride Month at Tildes: #2 - Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?

      Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire? We, in 2024, come from a long lineage of people who have fought for and advocated for queer causes and identities. We have those who came before...

      Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?

      We, in 2024, come from a long lineage of people who have fought for and advocated for queer causes and identities. We have those who came before us to thank for many of our rights, the terminology that we apply to ourselves, and even our very own self-concepts. The dignity that many of us are able to live with today is only possible because of people who asserted, against often significant pushback, that our dignity should be non-negotiable.

      I think it would be great if we could all share some of their stories here. It's a way of keeping their memories alive, honoring their contributions, and saying thank you for the path that they laid and upon which we now walk.

      Please share the story of at least one historical figure that was an LGBT advocate that you admire. Please do not just link to a Wikipedia page or an article about them -- take the time to tell us their story in your own words.

      If you do not have one in mind immediately, that's fine! This is also a great opportunity to do some research. Wikipedia has a good starting point, but feel free to explore on your own.

      A few addenda:

      • Feel free to connect their story to your own experiences and share why you, personally, find them admirable.

      • For the purposes of this post, "historical" does not mean "ancient." If the person came before you and was a trailblazer for queer causes, then they count!

      • The person themselves does not have to actively identify as someone under the LGBT umbrella. Straight allies can be trailblazers too, as can historical figures whose specific identities were ambiguous or don't map on to our modern identities and terminology.

      • The individual's advocacy does not have to specifically be political in nature. Many historical figures were queer advocates simply by openly being themselves. That absolutely counts!


      Event Guidelines

      Everyone is welcome to participate. This includes allies! You do not need to identify as LGBT in order to join in the topics.

      I will use "queer" and "LGBT" interchangeably as umbrella terms to refer to all minority sexualities and gender identities. These are intended to be explicitly inclusive.

      Be kind; be gracious; listen to others; love lots.


      Schedule

      I won't reveal everything upfront, but with each post I will give a teaser for what's next:

      June 1st: Introductions and Playlist
      June 4th: Who is a historical LGBT advocate that you admire?
      June 7th: (teaser: you might have to look back in time again, but this time a little closer to home)
      June 10th:
      June 13th:
      June 16th:
      June 19th:
      June 22nd:
      June 25th:
      June 28th:


      If for whatever reason you would not like to see these topics in your feed, add pride month at tildes to your personal tag filters.

      24 votes
    12. Watching my female tenant's life come apart - a dilemma

      Ive been in the home rental business for 35 years, enough time to see the same scenario before, but it leaves me just as vexed this time as it has before. The issue is a young couple, about 23...

      Ive been in the home rental business for 35 years, enough time to see the same scenario before, but it leaves me just as vexed this time as it has before.

      The issue is a young couple, about 23 years old, who have been together for a year. She is openly and admittedly 'madly in love' with her boyfriend, going so far as to announce on the initial walk through, that they want the suite because "its so quiet and peaceful and we are going to have a baby here" A bit too much information.

      They were fine during the interview, and all their checks were passable - both former landlords I contacted gave them a thumbs up for paying their rent on time and keeping the place clean. Everything was fine except for his credit score which was very poor - but thats not unusual for someone that young who is still learning how to control their finances.

      There is another young couple in the lower suite and they met and exchanged pleasantries and seemed to hit it off initially. But one week in, I got the first text from the basement tenants saying that there was yelling and screaming upstairs. I was startled because it seemed unusual compared to the public face they presented. I asked the tenants to inform me if it happened again. Maybe it was just one very bad day I hoped.

      It did happen again. The next day at 5 am they were shouting so loudly that I could hear them over the basement tenants phone. I asked the tenants to call the police because it was domestic violence. They were about to call when everything went quiet again and they chose to wait.

      There was a lull for a bit and then the third week I got an early morning text again. This time they were not only yelling at each other, they were screaming at another couple, friends supposedly, who were staying with them. There was loud banging and "it sounded like chairs being thrown around"

      I told them to call the police, which they did this time but by the time the police arrived everything was calm again. Moments after they left though, everything erupted and the two guys ended up in a fight on the back lawn, Fists went flying and someone got punched although at this point its unclear who punched whom.

      The police were called back and according to the account I got, the boyfriend was arrested. He says he wasn't and the police wont give me the report without his permission.

      So yesterday I went to talk to them and inspect the house. I cant see any visible damage however it could easily be hidden by the goods piled against the wall, they're still unpacking as they've only been in for a month.

      And then my dilemma begins. I KNOW this is a toxic relationship. Ive met this kind of guy before. Smooth talker, good looking, believes he can charm anyone any time. When I told him about the three reports of excessive noise and violence his first reaction was "it won't happen again" and his second was "I will call the other tenants and explain, Im sure we can work this out"

      No buddy, no you cant. Because you're an abuser. And you'll do what all abusers do. You'll try to quiet the noise for a time, try to make your girlfriend use a forced whisper instead of an open cry, but it will only be a matter of a week or two and you're going to lose your temper again and we'll be right back where we are now, but probably even worse, because your character has been exposed.

      And then I struggle with my place as a landlord but also as a caring human. I LIKE these people. They were charming and fun to get to know. I did extra work for them, getting new appliances in place because she's a specialty cook and loves to be in the kitchen. I made sure everything was 100% because I wanted them to be happy and have a nice place for them and if it happened, their new baby.

      But now Im very concerned for her future. She doesnt seem to realize just how deep she is into this toxic mess of a relationship. His comment was 'we fight like most couples' and I abruptly cut him off: "NO! NOT like most couples! Most couples dont wake up the neighbors at 5 am with a screaming match and have a fist fight on the lawn where the cops get called" He looked slightly sheepish for a second and then went right back to his charm defense, saying he would work it out and they just needed 'another chance'.

      The reason I think I may want to say more is because of Mercedes. She and her boyfriend rented from me about 10 years ago. It was the same scenario - charming, good looking but very angry boyfriend who lost his temper and went around the house damaging walls and smashing a porcelain sink. He was so rabid I actually brought a friend along to give them their eviction notice because I feared for my safety. That wasnt unjustified and his rage was palpable and extremely scary.

      But when he was out of the room I asked Mercedes if she was ok. She said she was nervous, scared, but ok. I said 'I hope you're not going to go with him when he leaves' and she shook her head. The light bulb had come on. "No, the second he's out the door Im out of here. I hope I never see him again." Thank god she was finally seeing things clearly.

      I came across her again a year ago online and just sent a friendly hello and if she remembered me and the house. She not only remembered me, she thanked me for helping her escape her hellish relationship. She said she was now in a very good and loving relationship and she couldn't believe how blind she was to even move in with Mr. Toxic in the first place. She said their eviction was a important turning point in her life.

      And I see Mercedes in this new tenant. Im just not sure she realizes what she's got herself into. Or else she does and she's not sure how to get out because I cant imagine how violent his reaction would be if she tried to leave.

      Which leaves me stuck. They are new to this area. They said they dont have many friends and family is a long way away, so there's no one close who is seeing what the basement tenants and I saw. And we're not sure what to do. The basement tenants are so scared of him they dont even want to be in the same house.

      What do you say or not say to someone in this situation? Saying nothing seems irresponsible. Saying too much seems dangerous at least to her safety. So... what do you do? How do I figure out if she even wants help? And if I say something too soon, or too late, he may turn on her and get even more violent...

      69 votes
    13. May 2024 Backlog Burner: Conclusion and Recap

      The May 2024 Backlog Burner event is officially over! Over the course of the month of May, 13 participants moved 105 games out of their backlogs. There were 7 bingo wins (5 Standard and 2 Golf)....

      The May 2024 Backlog Burner event is officially over!

      Over the course of the month of May, 13 participants moved 105 games out of their backlogs.

      There were 7 bingo wins (5 Standard and 2 Golf).
      Congratulations to @aphoenix, @CannibalisticApple, @Durinthal, @Eidolon, @kfwyre, @Weldawadyathink, and @Wes!

      Also, congratulations to all other participants as well: @Carrow, @J-Chiptunator, @Mendanbar, @Notcoffeetable, @semsevfor, and @Shevanel

      Finally, appreciation to those who didn't play any games but still popped in to talk about them with us: @brews_hairy_cats and @Wafik

      It has been an absolute blast doing this with everyone. Thank you all for participating.

      Use this topic to post your final bingo cards, give recaps of your games, and share any thoughts you have on the event itself.


      Reminder: the Backlog Burner will now run on a regular schedule during every May and November. Our next event is only five months away!


      Highlights:


      Quick links:

      Full Game List (alphabetical)

      #

      A

      B

      C

      D

      E

      F

      G

      H

      I

      J

      L

      M

      N

      O

      P

      Q

      R

      S

      T

      U

      V

      W

      X

      Y

      Full Game List (by week)

      Week 1

      Week 2

      Week 3

      Week 4

      Week 5

      16 votes
    14. Mini split confusion (efficiency and sizing)

      I'm right on the edge of buying a mini split for our shop space and I'm having a bout of indecisiveness. To preface, we are located in south/central Texas. The shop is a standalone structure, is...

      I'm right on the edge of buying a mini split for our shop space and I'm having a bout of indecisiveness.

      To preface, we are located in south/central Texas. The shop is a standalone structure, is fairly well insulated but has a 2-car garage door and a single-pane window, so it isn't ideal. It's 625sqft with 9 foot ceilings. We have various tools that will be in use but nothing that creates excessive heat.

      We are quite limited in funds so I'm not going with an HVAC company, nor am I going with a mr cool or other diy friendly unit due to cost. I'm capable to do the install myself, I'm not overly concerned about that.

      I was originally looking at the 18k (1.5ton) senville leto. I ran various calculators and they all suggested this size would be enough up to 1000sqft or so. However, since I have 9 ft ceilings and I live in a hot climate and I have the big door and crappy window, the calculations pushed my 625sqft up to around 900 or so equivalent sqft in some cases and in others as high as 1200.

      Due to my circumstances, I think I've convinced myself to move up to the 24k unit instead. I don't think it's too over provisioned for my specific scenario but I would like to hear your thoughts on how off the mark I am here.

      Apart from size, there's also the question of efficiency. The other model I was looking at is the Aura by senville, and the difference is a higher seer2 rating and energy star certification.

      Now, doing rough math, the difference in efficiency would be paid off by the savings of the more efficient unit in something like 8 or 9 years based on projected usage and my energy costs. I'm a pessimistic person and don't expect this unit to last 8-10 years. This is a cheap way to get the space comfortable to work in so that my side business can progress, and I would think if it's still going in that amount of time, I'll be able to afford a nicer unit by then.

      However, after saying all that, I do notice that the capabilities of the Aura unit are greater. It is advertised to work in -20f weather while the leto works in as low as 5f.

      Now, being in Texas, my primary concern is cooling, not heating, but no where can I find if the Aura system is more capable in hotter weather like it is in colder weather. This is slightly concerning because it seems most people use these primarily as heat sources and secondarily as cooling sources, and my situation is reversed.

      Does anyone have any input as to whether the higher efficiency system will make a noticable difference in cooling performance when it's 110f outside?

      Thanks for weathering my wall of text.

      14 votes
    15. Generic preventitive healthcare advice wanted

      Thanks to an emergency that resulted in an unexpected surgery, I have reached my health insurance maximum out-of-pocket expense. For those with sane healthcare systems, it basically means that I...

      Thanks to an emergency that resulted in an unexpected surgery, I have reached my health insurance maximum out-of-pocket expense. For those with sane healthcare systems, it basically means that I will not be charged for any additional healthcare I receive for the rest of the year as long as it's covered (i.e. no cosmetics or "just for funsies"). I'm expecting a $6,000 bill in the mail, so I'm looking to take as much advantage of this as I possibly can, starting with some minor issues that I've been sitting on for a while.

      I'll have to ask my doctor for their referral for anything, but I was wondering if there were any preventative healthcare services I should specifically ask for? I'm already going to be making an appointment for a regular physical - something I'm ashamed to say that I don't regularly do. I'm going to ask the doctor this same question but I figured I'd come up with a checklist just to make sure I don't miss out on anything.

      17 votes
    16. How to deal with (apparent) loss of love?

      I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss, but as a lurker in this community of sensible folks, I'd love reading your stories and opinions on this matter. Let me clarify that this loss of love...

      I'm not sure if this is the place to discuss, but as a lurker in this community of sensible folks, I'd love reading your stories and opinions on this matter.

      Let me clarify that this loss of love is not due to anyone's death. Perhaps just the same however, since they do not reciprocate your love and warmth anymore, for reasons completely unclear.

      The case in point now is this: I'm 25M single and an alone child. I've spent most of my life searching for bondings that nurtured my emotional being. Finding a home for my emotions has been a major theme across different parts of my life. I was lucky enough to be bestowed with a cousin (20F) whom I could meet (at best twice a year, at worst once) and bond over the text otherwise, offering solace and comfort as if from a like-minded sibling. Whenever I needed a sink to pour my love, it was towards her. All was well until I met her yesterday, the meeting for this year (we live continents apart and we know these meetings are limited); I felt I'm distant, and I was invisible on a deeper level to her. Nothing we talked about was related to our well-being as we used to. It was all about the boys in her life, Instagram likes, and other such superficial things. It was as if she didn't know what I care about (I'm not even on IG).

      I wasn't sure how to approach this. In general, even with a few friends, I've always had a hard time with an apparent loss of connection. How can you demand love from someone (Rhetorical; one shouldn't)? How should I let them know that the things were better and I want that? I mean nobody can force love. Should I accept (too hard to do) that those bondings have run their course?

      Sorry for the emotional dump, and feel free to edit. Thanks for your thoughts.

      17 votes
    17. A brief roundup of Qualcomm Snapdragon X news

      Now that there are some specs, development news, and Snapdragon X Elite vs Intel benchmarks from the past couple days to discuss (with the exception noted below), I thought I'd put together a few...

      Now that there are some specs, development news, and Snapdragon X Elite vs Intel benchmarks from the past couple days to discuss (with the exception noted below), I thought I'd put together a few links for people. I'm curious how people feel about this iteration of technology in an ARM package for development, tinkering, or edge AI applications. And are folks enthused by the possibilities (Windows or otherwise), dislike the price points, or tired of the AI/CoPilot buzz?

      Snapdragon Dev Kit for Windows features Qualcomm Snapdragon X Elite Arm SoC for AI PC application development

      New Qualcomm Snapdragon X Elite Benchmarks Show It's a Serious Contender

      Qualcomm Snapdragon Dev Kit for Windows is a tiny desktop PC with a focus on AI apps

      Debian 12 and Linux upstreaming for the Qualcomm Snapdragon X Elite SoC (January, 2024)

      Microsoft is already taking orders for both Surface Pro (11ᵗʰ Edition, $999+) and Surface Laptop (7ᵗʰ Edition, $999+)[1] orders planned for shipping in June. Each can be bought in X Plus or X Elite flavors, though Wikipedia suggests there are several models of the X Elite so I'm curious which flavors we'll see in MS devices.

      [1] Note that I linked to the "business" versions of the MS Store listings because they get straight to the point with a tech overview, etc. The "business" versions are listed for $100 more than the consumer versions.


      Sharing this in ~comp, but if there's a better place for this then I'm happy to see it moved to a more suitable location. Thanks!

      9 votes
    18. What kinds of part time jobs did you do when you first entered the job market?

      On my own after cutting financial ties with my parents, and looking to try different kinds of work while I wait out a bad tech market. Besides uber, what are some interesting ways to work part...

      On my own after cutting financial ties with my parents, and looking to try different kinds of work while I wait out a bad tech market. Besides uber, what are some interesting ways to work part time in SF? I’ve been thinking about enlisting in the army, but I think there’s probably better ideas.

      About me: Recent CS grad, currently doing part-time pastry.

      Edit: Thanks so much for the great ideas! I think I’ll try looking into FOH, a couple gyms, and try a temp agency as a backup.

      21 votes
    19. Looking for some recommendations

      I've been getting into comic books (or graphic novels) lately and I read some that affected me on a personal level quite a bit. I had never been a comic book person, especially about superhero...

      I've been getting into comic books (or graphic novels) lately and I read some that affected me on a personal level quite a bit. I had never been a comic book person, especially about superhero stuff, and I still don't think they're my cup of tea (Except maybe for Watchmen). I brushed off the whole genre thinking that superhero comics were the best they had to offer and that was quite wrong of me to assume so.

      A while ago I read Richard McGuire's comic, Here, and it was one of the best books I've ever read. Brilliant idea, superbly executed. It had a profound affect on me and kicked the doors open to a world I had not known existed.

      Subsequently, I bought a few more titles after some research in similar vein to Here. I've read about half of them, but bought all of them thinking that their stories would appeal to me. So in order to give you all some ideas, here's a list of the titles I've purchased so far:

      • Here by Richard McGuire
      • Maus by Art Spiegelman
      • Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware
      • Rusty Brown by Chris Ware
      • City of Glass: A Graphic Mystery by Paul Auster, Paul Karasik & David Mazzucchelli
      • Black Hole by Charles Burns
      • Asterios Polyp by David Mazzucchelli
      • Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
      • Hostage by Guy Delisle
      • Jerusalem: Chronicles from the Holy City by Guy Delisle
      • Burma Chronicles by Guy Delisle
      • Pyongyang: A Journey in North Korea by Guy Delisle
      • Stardust by Neil Gaiman & Charles Vess
      • Daytripper by Gabriel Ba & Fabio Moon
      • Ghost World by Daniel Clowes
      • Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel
      • From Hell by Alan Moore & Eddie Campbell
      • Berlin by Jason Lutes
      • Blankets by Craig Thompson

      I've had some comics adapted from novels (like _Brave New World, 1984 etc.) but I'm not into those as much.

      My wallet will not like this topic but I'm looking forward to your recommendations. Thank you in advance!


      Please do not comment about reading the rest first instead of seeking new recommendations. I understand the sentiment and would normally agree, but I have legitimate reasons to do it.

      13 votes
    20. Help: Similar songs to Back to Black? Funk, pain and bravery.

      Hey peeps ! Having quite an Amy Winehouse phase right now :) The vibe of Back to Black is just phenomenal! Can y'all recommend similar songs? With similar I mean raw in their portrayal of pain,...

      Hey peeps !
      Having quite an Amy Winehouse phase right now :)
      The vibe of Back to Black is just phenomenal!
      Can y'all recommend similar songs? With similar I mean raw in their portrayal of pain, funky and enjoyable musically while at the same time remaining hopeful and powerful due to the sheer honesty and "few amount of fucks given" :D
      Thanks !!

      10 votes
    21. For proponents of "vote for the lesser of two evils", what is your endgame?

      If I understand folks with that PoV correctly: if you are a democrat or typically vote democrat, you generally think that republicans are a danger to democracy, bad for the lives of minorities,...

      If I understand folks with that PoV correctly:

      if you are a democrat or typically vote democrat, you generally think that republicans are a danger to democracy, bad for the lives of minorities, and the disadvantaged/LGBT+, etc.
      If you are a republican or typically vote republican, you generally think that democrats are a danger to democracy, divide the country with identity politics, etc.
      (obviously I am making sweeping generalizations of both camps off the top of my head but hopefully the point comes across)

      But, I don't get what your endgame is. Like, you make it seem like if the other party wins, the country is screwed. but you can't possibly think that the country will forever vote for your party for President, right? So you think America is destined to go downhill depending on how many years the opposing party is in power?

      America flips between red and blue. So the other party is bound to win at least once a decade imo. and yet I hear how democracy is more at stake now than it's ever been if "the other party wins". So I don't get the long-term viability of "lesser of 2 evils" approach.

      Since I doubt America will become less angry and divisive anytime soon thanks to yallls 24 hour news networks and the social media companies that make more money the more Americans are mad at each other.

      Then again, I am by no means an expert so where am I wrong or have I misunderstood something?

      13 votes
    22. Opinions or experiences on Corsair build kits

      I am looking to replace my PC that I mostly use for gaming for close to 10 years. While I used to work in data centers, I've never been into building custom PC, particular the planning and...

      I am looking to replace my PC that I mostly use for gaming for close to 10 years. While I used to work in data centers, I've never been into building custom PC, particular the planning and research portion on what parts to get.

      I am currently eyeing the Corsair build kit, and wonder if anyone has any experience to share.

      Thanks in advance.

      6 votes
    23. I find myself intimidated by the Bear community

      Disclaimer: This post is probably overly-long and a little all over the place. It’s just as much me writing things out to get a sense of where I am and how I feel about everything as it is asking...

      Disclaimer: This post is probably overly-long and a little all over the place. It’s just as much me writing things out to get a sense of where I am and how I feel about everything as it is asking a question to a real audience. For anyone who genuinely wants to take the time to read it, hopefully not read too into it, and provide any insights – thank you. I'm not sure how large the LGBT community on Tildes might actually be, I will probably end up x-posting this to Reddit despite the fact that I’ll most likely end up regretting that decision

      I'm a late-thirties, gay, cis gendered, masculine presenting (for lack of a better term), otter (beard, harry, smaller frame so not considered a bear). For almost all of my life I've lived in smaller locals that lacked any real gay scene and so I have almost entirely lived apart from the larger gay world and community. To a large extent I'm grateful for this, I think in my younger years the focus on partying and sex would have been disastrous for me and now my friend groups are diverse with straight males and females and a few gay friends. However, a large part of me feels like I've missed out on something and continue to miss out on something.

      In the past year or so I've developed a gay Instagram profile that is now very connected to the gay bear community in my country and a few neighboring ones. I’ve also been in a larger city for a few years now and have a real gay community that I could connect with if I wanted to. Obviously, I'm primarily attracted to more bear type men and I've found that through Instagram I'm seeing that a lot of guys in the community remind me of myself in manner of interests and style. I also see this as a chance to make some friends who would actually see me and understand me, something that I think gets a little lost with my non-gay friends and my gay friends who are not like me in other ways

      Huge disclaimer: I'm viewing all of this through the lens of Instagram which makes my interpretations of what I'm seeing already dubious - the app is largely triggering FOMO and a touch of envy in me, I fully understand that.

      There was a bear dance night in my city a few weeks ago and many guys from different regions came through to celebrate and find community. I watched it all distantly through Instagram posts and stories and through all my voyeurism I found myself extremely tempted to go to the party but remained frozen in intimidation by a community that I really don't understand.

      My worries summed up:

      • We’re not one of the bigger bear events around so it’s clear from their posts that these guys all know each other and probably hang out multiple times a year. Approaching that as a complete outsider is already anxiety inducing to me

      • Even though I logically know that the only way to make friends is to put yourself out there, I’ve at times faced rejection and exclusion via the apps and just fear that this would be the same thing but in real life. Despite my attempts to date my way into the community, I haven’t had a lot of success breaking through. (Please don’t take this to mean that I’ve fully fetishized bears, I don’t limit my relationships to something so narrow at all)

      • One of my hangups is the fact that I myself am not a bear. My understanding is that Otters and “masc” guys are often very welcome in the bear community, which I am, but not actually being one of them makes me question my place there. I am aware how terrible this is as it perpetuates the gay culture of largely basing worth on physical characteristics and the fact that bear does not equal masculine. I hate to bring up that last part but I just want to be descriptive

      • I would be loath to enter into a community whose identity hangs on partying. I see on Instagram that a lot of groups of bear friends do other activities than drinking but they also do a fair share of bar-going and partying. If these bear events would end up turning out like the circuit party culture, then I have no real interest. I do like to occasionally go out drinking with friends but have no intention of maintaining a party lifestyle. In a similar vein, I wouldn’t want to enter into a community that is primarily sex-based either and I do get those vibes from these groups and parties sometimes as well

      • My intentions for wanting to participate are unclear. I see these guys building what seem like genuine friendships with each other and I do genuinely want that but at the same time it would be dishonest for me not to admit that there is a sexual component to this and a desire for validation from a group of men who I find attractive

      • Is my understanding of this community completely invalid? Maybe the impressions I’m gaining of the community are completely unrealistic and I should completely rethink the underlying question of this entire post – would I find value in being a member of the bear world?

      It’s clear to me that in the end my Instagram habit, particularly my “bear” profile, is triggering some anxieties and insecurities in me that I’ve largely managed to concur in real life. I already have caring friends and have had a rich dating and relationship life without being part of any real gay community and so my final question to myself is whether I should just delete the IG profile and abandon any thoughts of going to gay parties – I may just be looking to fill a hole in myself that my real friends and love life should be enough for.

      32 votes
    24. Any recommendations on places to visit in Singapore? There for a week.

      I had initially planned a trip to Japan but had to change plans at the last minute. So here I am, not as well prepared as I usually am. Would love to hear what you guys love doing when in...

      I had initially planned a trip to Japan but had to change plans at the last minute.

      So here I am, not as well prepared as I usually am. Would love to hear what you guys love doing when in Singapore. I'm not someone who enjoys nightlife/clubbing. Good food and cocktail bars are more my speed. Already booked a nice looking place called Candlenut for a meal.

      Any sightseeing recommendations would be really helpful as well. Thanks guys.

      18 votes
    25. E-bikes: Seeking advice on a commuter bike that meets disability needs

      I've done considerable e-bike research, and I'm still struggling with unanswered questions... I'm looking for a mid-range e-bike mainly for commuting, approximately 3 miles/5 km each way. Part of...

      I've done considerable e-bike research, and I'm still struggling with unanswered questions...

      I'm looking for a mid-range e-bike mainly for commuting, approximately 3 miles/5 km each way. Part of the route is on unpaved but graded park trails, otherwise paved (sometimes very bumpy) streets and sidewalks. I don't anticipate using the bike for heavy cargo, rough trails or long powered rides, but wouldn't mind working up to 30 mi/50 km trips with partial assists.

      The primary goal is a safe, stable ride that gets me to work reliably without leaving me too banged up.

      Requirements:

      1. Major assistance with steep hills. Though I've rebuilt decent endurance and muscle strength, I've got two artificial hips, and occasional inflammation in knees, ankles, and feet that makes powering up a long incline painful.

      2. Suspension fork and relatively upright riding position. Even with gel gloves, bumps and bangs through a rigid frame and forward leaning will wreck my wrists and hands quickly.

      3. Step-through frame. Thanks to hip replacements, my balance and range of motion aren't all they could be.

      4. Local service availability. Fortunately, I'm in a town with great (if expensive) bike shops.

      Nice to have:

      1. 60 lbs. or less. I don't expect to wrestle the bike up/down stairs or into vehicles frequently. It's more a question of being able to propel it under my own power most of the time and carry it on a standard car rack. I've looked at e-trikes for stability, but they're too heavy and cumbersome.

      2. Hydraulic disc brakes, belt drive and sealed motor hub (expensive but cleaner for commuting and lower maintenance), torque sensor.

      3. Integrated lights.

      4. Fenders, chain guard, rear rack, kickstand, phone holder included or available at reasonable cost.

      5. Visual appeal - colors, not too obvious battery, etc.

      Overnight recharge is fine, the battery doesn't have to be removable.

      Possibilities so far:

      Priority Current (via Costco). review,
      review
      Con:

      • Rigid frame
      • Complaints about required pedalling and power distribution on hills

      Pro:

      • Meets most of the requirements
      • Model has been out for a few years with an established track record
      • Well-reviewed

      RadPower Radster Road Regular review, review
      Pro:

      • Checks all requirements
      • Safety emphasis

      Con:

      • Heavy (78 lbs.)

      Electric Bike Company Model E or R
      review, review
      Pro:

      • Extensive customization available

      Con:

      • Cruiser style less likely to be comfortable for long rides
      • Model R is 78 lbs.

      Ride1Up 700 Series ST review, review
      Pro:

      • Inexpensive
      • Meets most requirements

      Con:

      • Assembly difficulties reported, no local dealer

      Aventon Level.2 Step-through review, review

      This is still early research... but more questions:

      • What am I failing to consider?
      • What's an appropriate price point to look at for my requirements (keeping in mind that I'd be paying as much as $150/mo. for transit when not using the bike)?
      • Anyone else in a similar spot?

      Edit - updates on continuing research, for those interested in comfort bikes... So many manufacturers! It might be time to turn the optimizer brain off. Quite a few of the online-only vendors are just mixing and matching Chinese parts. Reports of terrible customer support and quality/safety issues are common.

      New candidates:

      Cannondale Adventure Neo 2 EQ Speed

      Reviews of this specific newer Class 3 model are scarce, but other Neo models get mostly rave reviews from older riders with various disabilities. As much as I've loved Cannondale bikes, there are some reported quality and design issues in comments that give me pause. The only reason I'd consider an e-bike in this price range is if it's a durable, realistic car replacement capable of safe use in very bad conditions.
      Pro:

      • Most of the important wishlist items covered
      • Top quality powertrain and gearing parts
      • Torque assist - comments say it's smooth and you never miss a manual throttle
      • Versatile for city and road
      • Locally available

      Con:

      • High price even with quality factored in
      • Chain guard not included, and it should be at this price
      • Comments mention battery is difficult to remove

      Envo seems like a reliable Canadian brand that's doing interesting things. There are U.S. distributors. Dollar purchasing power makes this a potentially excellent value choice.
      Envo Lynx 20" Only one professional review, but customers seem happy. I wasn't considering folding bikes originally, but this seems well-made, has English-language support, and has decent specs for the price and flexibility.

      Envo ST 50 - few if any comments available, but the stepover D50 model gets rave reviews. Meets all requirements, with excellent range for longer trips.

      Mokwheel Asphalt ST review, review, review
      Pro:

      • Meets wishlist with moderately priced accessory package
      • Adjustable stem angle
      • Excellent price for features
      • Extra safety lights

      Con:

      • DTC-only (US-based)
      • Lower-quality and range of gearing

      Tenways AGO T review, review
      Pro:

      • Meets wishlist
      • Premium components
      • No-brainer torque control and CVT
      • Stylish

      Con:

      • May be underpowered for steep hills
      • Class 2 limited (may be hackable)
      • DTC, based outside US

      Zen Photon Pro review
      Pro:

      • Wishlist mostly covered
      • Premium components
      • Powerful hill-climbing capability
      • Long range

      Con:

      • Price is over upper limit of budget
      • Relatively new to market
      • Users complain about weight

      Ride1Up Prodigy V2 LS CVT review, review, review, review non-CVT. This might be the pick - meets requirements and then some, good value for quality, relatively future-ready, adaptable for the conditions I'm likely to encounter, and comfortable. It doesn't hurt that it's $300 off right now.

      18 votes
    26. My not so nice thoughts on Battlestar Galactica

      I watched the 2003 miniseries which I thought was decent enough. It certainly piqued my interest, so I went into the show itself with an open mind and kind of excited that I had a nice, long...

      I watched the 2003 miniseries which I thought was decent enough. It certainly piqued my interest, so I went into the show itself with an open mind and kind of excited that I had a nice, long sci-fi series to get into.. but.. I'm now solidly underway with season 1, a lot of it falls totally flat. I just finished episode 5 and while it's not the worst show I've ever watched, it certainly isn't great either and I have to say I don't understand why this show is praised. It feels really dated.

      There are some truly awful scenes where it feels like I'm being preached to, like "remember to go in for your breast cancer screening!" and "prisoners aren't slaves!" and the scene from this episode where the president appears on the Galactica just to tell the commander "ackshually 45000 people are more important than just 1!" as though it's some deep philosophy, and then he changes his mind off of that, but like, his character really isn't dumb enough to not have already considered the morality of the situation. He should have perfectly well realized that they'd expended half of their fuel reserve searching for the downed pilot, and that's more than they can afford. He is not stupid, but the writing certainly can be.

      There are also a ton of cliches and cheap story beats like fake-outs, cliff-hangers, characters that could solve all their problems if they simply communicated, dundundun dunnn moments with fabricated tension, not to mention the amount of halfway meaningless filler. It's a shame because the lore and overarching plot is interesting, but when every episode has so much pointless conflict in them that always gets resolved 10 minutes later, it starts to really drag. The episodes are self-contained and I get that, but I mean most of it is to the point that it's borderline a soap opera.

      And it's not even filmed or directed well or anything else to make up for it. The desaturated colours are depressing as fuck, there is no cinematography to speak of, the special effects are (understandably) very cheap, everything is truly ugly which while I understand that's the point, it just detracts even more. The lighting is also inconsistent between some scenes, and the fight choreography is honestly laughable. You also have shoddy camera work and obnoxious, never ending close-ups of every actor's face - I have seen all of their pores by now, thank you very much. And omg why are they so obsessed with wide shots of the ships and then snap zooming not once, but twice, every time!!

      Also, variations of the word "frak" is just so grating but I'm nitpicking at this point lol

      I apologize to any fans of the show because this turned into a bit of a rant, but goddamn.. I'm kind of grasping at straws to find things I actually like about BSG. Maybe it's because it's a network production? Perhaps I'm too young to watch and truly appreciate it/its era of American network TV? Like the only of these kinds of shows we had in my country that I watched when they were current was things like Friends, Monk, Desperate Housewives etc., so I missed out on all of these supposedly great shows back then (I was only 11 years old when BSG started airing). I really love some of the other things from the 00's that I've watched much later on though, but those were cable shows like The Wire, so it's not just because it's from the 00's.

      Anyway, all of the above reasons (and more) are why I usually stay far away from network shows with 20-episode seasons, but I thought BSG was going to be different because it's my impression that it has a really good reputation? Like I said in the beginning, the miniseries was decent so I'm not sure what changed between it and season 1? I think I'm gonna demote it to a background show unless the next few episodes pick up a bit. Should I keep going? Does it get better after season 1?

      24 votes
    27. Revisiting the GBA Castlevania Games (Circle of the Moon, Harmony of Dissonance, and Aria of Sorrow)

      click here for mood music for this post Sometime recently I got it into my head that I wanted to go back and replay all of the so-called "Igavania" games in the Castlevania series - the three on...

      click here for mood music for this post

      Sometime recently I got it into my head that I wanted to go back and replay all of the so-called "Igavania" games in the Castlevania series - the three on Gameboy Advance, the three on Nintendo DS, and, of course, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night on PSX. I played through most of these back when I was a teenager and liked them, but haven't touched them since. Metroidvania games are a dime-a-dozen these days but I haven't found anything else that scratches the itch of exploration-meets-RPG-elements-meets-gothic-aesthetics.

      Well except Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night, I guess. That game was pretty good.

      I decided to begin with the GBA trilogy since Circle of the Moon is the first Igavania I ever played and the one I have not played in the longest. I pieced through the whole trilogy in release order over a few weeks; here are some stray thoughts from the experience:

      Castlevania: Circle of the Moon

      • The graphics in this game have aged beautifully. It's the only of the GBA & DS games that - to my knowledge - doesn't heavily re-use sprites from Symphony of the Nights, and as a result it has an aesthetic cohesion a step above any of the following games. Circle of the Moon is infamous for being way too dark on the original, non-backlit GBA screen (I had to use a wormlight back in the day to be able to see it), but with that limitation irrelevant on modern hardware it has a clean, moody aesthetic that's just solid.
      • Overall, the game feels very much like "classic Castlevania stuff, remixed." That's certainly true of the music, which is primarily (very good) remixes of classic Castlevania tunes with just a few (very good) original compositions. This applies to the gameplay too, which is classic (you only get a whip, the upgrades are very standard stuff) but with a big new twist thrown in:
      • The DSS system. Throughout the game you can collect 20 cards, divided into two categories, and by equpiping two at once you can utilize your magic meter to activate one of 100 DSS effects. Some are straightforward stat boosts, some offer reprieve like healing or invulnerability, and others offer really fun magic, weapon, and transformation effects. It's a joy to try out the combinations every time you get a new card, and they help give the game a lot of space for exploring your personal play style.
      • Did I mention that the whip feels really good? The whip feels really good. The sound effect and animation are really satisfying.
      • Circle of the Moon has some rough quirks that keep it from being a 10 out of 10, though. DSS cards, for instance, are locked behind random drops by enemies, some with absurdly low drop rates. If you just play through the game normally, without consulting a guide on specific drops or farming cards, there's a decent chance you'll pick up <50% of the cards before you finish the game. I get that you don't want to give the keys of the kingdom to the player right away, but why on earth would you build an awesome, fun game mechanic, and then set it up so players won't see most of it without extremely un-fun farming and grinding? Thankfully a "Magician" mode that gives you access to all of them straight away opens up after you finish the game once, but not everyone will make it that far or want to go back for a second playthrough.
      • The difficulty is also allllll over the place. As a teen I got stuck forever at the twin-headed dragons, and going back as an adult ... yeah, I got stuck again. I had to look up strategies, go hunt down a specific sub-weapon (the cross, which is very overpowered in this game), grind a few more levels, and steal away to an alcove of the battle arena to a specific spot where the dragons can't touch you to abuse the DSS healing power. The dragons are the most egregious example but they're far from the only one; there are several points where the game switches from hard-but-fair to ha-ha-eat-shit-stupid. It seems like the designers fully expected the players to use and abuse DSS, especially the healing abilities, because there's no way someone played through this and thought "yeah that's a smooth difficulty curve."
      • Special shout out to the optional battle arena. Yes, it's optional, but the difficulty of this 17 room gauntlet is truly hilarious. I was only able to beat it - near the end of the game, at a high level, with the best equipment available - by abusing save states and playing the last half of it in slow motion (the wonders of emulation). And it still took me over an hour!
      • There are also some design decisions that are just strange. Your character, Nathan Graves, begins with an excruciatingly slow walk speed and a unwieldy jump that's almost vertical. Within the first 15 minutes of the game you pick up a character upgrade to be able to run - i.e. move at a normal speed - but you have to double tap a direction on the d-pad to activate it. So now you have to spend the next 6-8 hours of your playthrough double-tapping a direction any time you want to move just to move at a normal speed. Why? Very strange.
      • There's also a whole area of block pushing puzzles. They're not too difficult, but is this really what Castlevania needed? 20 minutes of slowly pushing boxes?
      • I've read that Circle of the Moon was made by a different team, with a different director, than the rest of the "Igavanias." You definitely get that sense when playing it, that it's just a bit different, and it really endeared me to the game. It has its issues, but most of those can be smoothed out with modern backlit screens, save states, and online wiki guides. Overall it was a joy to revisit, probably an 8 or 9 out of 10 in my book.
      • I also highly recommend Jeremy Parish's retrospective look at Circle of the Moon

      Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance

      • Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance is what you get when you learn mostly the wrong lessons from the feedback the previous game received. I played this one back in the day and but lost interest and never finished it. I now see why.
      • I'll start with the good. The character movement feels better; we finally have a normal run speed and the shoulder buttons can be used for left and right dashes that are very satisfying to use. Together they give this game a much faster pace than Circle of the Moon. The jump is weirdly floaty but you get used to it.
      • The graphics have also seen a big improvement in a technical sense. The sprites are larger and more impressive - especially on bosses - though this is also the beginning of heavily re-using sprites from Symphony of the Night. You'll definitely recognize some old favorites if you played that game.
      • Honestly, though, that's where the improvements end.
      • The art direction has taken a big step back. Konami heard that Circle of the Moon was too dark and now as a result we've got Harmony of Dissonance, a game so insanely bright and chock full of garish psychedelic color choices that not only did it completely remove the moodiness of the first game, it led me, for the first time in my life, to download and install a romhack. Maybe on the original, unlit GBA screen these choices looked good, but on modern displays it feels like Castlevania by way of a Big Top Circus. And then if that wasn't enough the game adds an extra bright outline around your character at all times. Good grief.
      • The music has also taken a humongous step back. Supposedly more of the GBA's processing power was used up by the graphics so the sound had to be deprioritized. But even putting aside the big step down in fidelity most of these compositions - save the main theme and one or two others - are not memorable, hummable, or fun to listen to. They're just ... there. There, with bad sound quality.
      • All of this would be excusable if the gameplay were tremendous, but again we've learned the wrong lessons and gone backwards.
      • DSS has been removed, and there's nothing nearly as interesting to take its place.
      • ...but they decided to leave in block pushing. WHY?!
      • The rocky difficulty of Circle of the Moon is gone, and now the game is far too easy. I beat almost every boss in this game on my first try, which is definitely not true of either of the other two GBA Castlevania games. The fun movement options have a side effect of making the game even easier, since you can quickly dart around the screen dodging things.
      • The level design is poor, with endless, unmemorable hallways and generally boring layouts. Plus the entire first half of the game is basically linear
      • Then the cherry on top is that halfway through the game reveals that there are two parallel castles, and it sends you on an excruciating fetch quest across both of them. So you get two identical castles of boring level design, middling music, recycled bosses, and the most tedious backtracking I've done in years.
      • There are so many aspects of the game design that just feel sort of busted. Once you're 10 levels above an enemy they only grant you 1 EXP for each kill, so there is truly no upside to all of the tedious backtracking you're forced to do. There are shops in the game, but they all have weird requirements you have to meet to spawn them, and even once you do there's barely anything interesting to buy.
      • This game is a chore, and is the only one I would not recommend. It's not "bad," necessarily - I'd give it a 5/10 - but I had to consult guides so many times to figure out where in which castle I needed to go, and I was downright relieved when it was over.

      Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow

      • It feels like this is where the team at Konami finally found their groove. Aria of Sorrow is a very good game.
      • The graphics are still brighter than Circle of the Moon's moody look, but the color choices are dialed back to a sensible, tasteful level. No more wild acid circus backgrounds, and no more bright outlines around characters!
      • The music has taken a big step up, with tons of memorable tunes.
      • The character control has finally found a nice middle ground between Circle of the Moon's stiffness and Harmony of Dissonance's hyperfast floatiness. Instead of left and right dashes letting you zip around the map there's just a backdash, which is a sensible compromise that allows for lots of maneuverability in combat.
      • The level design is a huge, huge step up from Harmony of Dissonance, and is probably better than Circle of the Moon's. Aria of Sorrow does a great job at giving compelling reasons to backtrack with interesting ability unlocks and thoughtfully placed warp zones and area connections.
      • The difficulty curve is pretty smooth throughout, except maybe the boss fight with Death - but I found that one an interesting challenge, rather than a brick wall. This is still an easier game than Circle of the Moon, but not a total pushover.
      • We've finally got a system to rival DSS: souls that you can gather from enemies and then equip for all sorts of passive and active effects. It's still luck based, but you'll get enough of a variety of souls through normal play for it to not be too bothersome. There are lots of interesting souls, but I missed the "combination" aspect of DSS, of experimenting between combining different cards and seeing what they do together. Here we've just got basically three slots for three types of souls - passives, abilities, and attacks. This is a totally fine way to do it, but it means that one or two of those slots are always just going to be the same one or two souls that give you whatever stat boost you need and whatever ability you rely on the most.
      • There are a few more interesting abilities that tie into the exploration as well. When you start the game you can't sink into water and explore, you merely float at the top. Before you even get that ability, though, you get the ability to walk on top of water as if it's a hard surface, opening up interesting level design gimmicks. Later on you can both sink or stand on top depending on what you have equipped.
      • The downside is this does mean too much time in menus switching between the same 3 or 4 souls over and over again - at least until you get flight abilities that let you skip a lot of the navigational tedium. One wonders why they couldn't have made things like on top of water / in water contextual abilities (maybe you land on the water, but then press down to sink into it?) instead of requiring players to unequip the ability they want to use 95% of the time, equip a water navigation soul for one room, then open the menu again to switch back.
      • At least we don't have any huge block puzzle rooms any more! The environmental puzzles that do exist are far more interesting.
      • Instead of the whip of the previous two games there are several classes of weapons the main character, Soma, can equip, including swords, axes, and even a handgun (which seemed pretty useless in my time with it). The variety is neat, but I have to say none of the weapons felt as good to use as the satisfying whip of Circle of the Moon, with its supremely meaty sound effects. I didn't expect to, but I found myself missing the straightforward, satisfyng combat of Circle of the Moon.
      • And that's sort of my feeling on the game as a whole. It is a very good game, at least as good as Circle of the Moon, and it doesn't have nearly as many strange friction points as CoTM. It's an 8 or 9 out of 10, for sure. But for me, specifically, something about Aria of Sorrow sort of came and went for me, like it was much smoother than CoTM but didn't leave me with as many memorable moments. I'm not sure how to describe it, so I'll chalk it up to personal insanity.

      Oh also all three of these games have a story. Does anyone care about the stories in Castlevania games? I skim the character dialogue while quickly clicking through it and that's pretty much it.

      I've now moved on to the DS games, and am loving revisiting Dawn of Sorrow so far - my favorite from back in my teenage years. I'm very interested to revisit Portrait of Ruin and Order of Ecclesia, which I don't remember as clearly, and Symphony of the Night, which I remember loving...and then loathing the inverted castle. Still, it's been >10 years, so who knows how things will hit these days.

      Has anyone else played (or replayed) these Castlevania games recently? What were your thoughts?

      18 votes
    28. An equitable solution to a problem at work regarding sick leave and staffing?

      Please bear with me as I'm not terribly sure if this is the right place for this, if I'm phrasing it right, or if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. I work at a childcare center - a private...

      Please bear with me as I'm not terribly sure if this is the right place for this, if I'm phrasing it right, or if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.


      I work at a childcare center - a private school marketed as "the best in the area". By most metrics, we are exactly that. I've worked here for nearly 15 years in a variety of roles, namely as a prek teacher for over half of that time. I have a good relationship with my directors and the schools owners, despite some issues in the past (I'm eager to champion more rights and privileges for employees).

      This week was the sickest I have been in years, and it was the same for several other staffers as well. We couldn't call in, however, because none of us had fevers, vomiting, or diarrhea (the "big three" for what's acceptable to call in for). We all had flu-like symptoms, though those of us who went to the doctor tested negative for anything. Dozens of students had been getting ill with STREP, Influenza A/B, and Fifths in the weeks prior. It just took its time in reaching the staff!

      I co-teach in my class and my co-teacher and I both lost our voices for days. Others had full-body aches, tremendous coughing fits, extreme lethargy... It was terrible. However, almost none of us got the time off that we needed to recover. Why? Staffing. The owners/directors don't want to close a room due to illness, even if both teachers in the room are horrendously sick. I spent days with the kids, barely able to talk or move, just trying to get through the day. My coworkers were the same.

      Does that seem right?

      The directors/owners essentially picked those who were deemed "sickest" to take a day off. While in the moment I understand that decision, it doesn't seem like a terribly good way to handle it either. I want to bring up my grievances about this with the owners (I already have with the directors, they don't disagree with me but "that's just the way it is") but I also know that showing up with a problem and no solution won't go over well. I also know they don't want to close a classroom at all costs, which is my preferred solution. The last time one was closed was when 5/6 teachers in another room had COVID simultaneously and we were mandated to close the room.

      Anyone have any thoughts? Even if it's to show me a side I may not be considering here? Thank you for your insight.

      22 votes
    29. Tildes Book Club - Voting thread 2 results - requesting feedback from library users

      Thanks for your participation. We got three solid winners from this voting thread, Terry Pratchett Small Gods, Neil Gaiman Ocean at the End of the Lane, Amal El Mohtar and Max Gladstone This is...

      Thanks for your participation. We got three solid winners from this voting thread, Terry Pratchett Small Gods, Neil Gaiman Ocean at the End of the Lane, Amal El Mohtar and Max Gladstone This is How you Lose the Time War.

      Library users please check availability and reply to this thread if any of these three should be sorted to the end of the schedule. We still have the Dispossessed and Project Hail Mary to read in May and June before starting these new books. After receiving feedback I will set a schedule for the summer.

      Somehow Anathem made it through the screening process and is unfortunately nearly a thousand pages which does not fit a monthly book club structure. We will vote again in the Fall.

      19 votes
    30. Project Zomboid - What compares for gameplay?

      So I have heard of the game for a while, but I am not a fan of zombie games. I was recently shown a video apparently about it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XuKU2RziLo), and the game itself...

      So I have heard of the game for a while, but I am not a fan of zombie games. I was recently shown a video apparently about it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XuKU2RziLo), and the game itself looks pretty awesome from my point of preferences.
      The problem? None really, except... zombies. Just not a fan at all.

      Edit: I like the menu options, though they seem like they could be clunky. I like the survival and crafting aspects.

      So my question is this: Are there any games similar to this style of gameplay that might do without the zombies?

      Would prefer on Steam/Linux, but if you have a similar equivalent that's great. Thanks. :)

      12 votes
    31. Setting up a pen-turning workshop for my son — need advice!

      My son recently made a pen in his high school shop class and absolutely loved the process. With summer approaching, I've been toying with the idea of setting him up with his own pen-turning...

      My son recently made a pen in his high school shop class and absolutely loved the process. With summer approaching, I've been toying with the idea of setting him up with his own pen-turning station rather than the typical summer job route.
      Here’s where I could use your expertise:

      Lathe Choices: I'm looking at a couple of options from Harbor Freight—there’s a $300 model and a $550 variable speed one. How crucial is variable speed for a beginner? Would the basic model suffice for starting out, or is the upgrade worth it in the long run?

      Chisels: I don’t want to cut corners on quality, especially for cutting tools. Any recommendations for brands or specific tools that are good for beginners but can also handle more advanced projects as he improves?

      Essentials List: Besides the lathe, what are some must-have tools for pen turning? I already have the basics covered with a table saw, miter saw, dust collection system, and drill press.

      Learning Resources: Any favorite videos, books, or other resources that could help both of us learn more about pen turning would be greatly appreciated.

      I want to encourage him to sell them, but I'm also completely fine if they end up as Christmas gifts for the family. I’m excited to encourage my son’s new interest and would really appreciate your input on how to create a great setup for him. Thanks in advance for your help and suggestions!

      16 votes
    32. Is there an intuitive (but powerful) music thingie?

      Sorry about the headline. (not really) I know it doesn't make all that much sense. The thing is, I bought a Dubreq Stylophone Beatbox (review here) and it's really quite fun to play around with....

      Sorry about the headline. (not really) I know it doesn't make all that much sense. The thing is, I bought a Dubreq Stylophone Beatbox (review here) and it's really quite fun to play around with. At its core, it lets you record and play your own rhythms in a loop. It sort of feels like an unholy mix between a musical instrument and an editor.

      The problem is that I can't save as an editable format (midi or ... whatever) or import new instruments, so while its great fun and quite powerful (I composed this) I still feel the need for something more flexible. Also, I accidently borrowed it away, so while I still "own" it, I don't actually have it as such.

      So, are there any other thingie which (gonna repeat the headline here) are fun and intuitive, yet still grants me some more power compared to what is offered by the Stylophone Beatbox? I don't mind if it is a program of a physical thing.


      EDIT: Thanks all! I had expected one, maybe two suggestions, so, wow! This is pretty much a new world to me, and I'm floored that there's so much music stuff available. I'm slowly beginning to get some sort of overview of it all.


      29 votes
    33. Happy 6th Birthday, Tildes!

      Happy birthday, Tildes! Thanks again to @Deimos for making the best little link aggregator community on the net, and keeping it running so well. And thanks to all you lovely people for all your...

      Happy birthday, Tildes! Thanks again to @Deimos for making the best little link aggregator community on the net, and keeping it running so well. And thanks to all you lovely people for all your worthwhile contributions here too. :)

      195 votes
    34. A casual chat with ChatGPT about the prosperity of humanity

      I was in a silly mood and wanted to fleece a socialist opinion out of the ChatGPT. For what it's worth it's nice to see the creators of the system aim for an unbiased answering machine. Poking a...

      I was in a silly mood and wanted to fleece a socialist opinion out of the ChatGPT. For what it's worth it's nice to see the creators of the system aim for an unbiased answering machine. Poking a little further and through a self-proclaimed "simulated opinion", I was allowed to take a peek behind its curtains.

      A few prompts later and I asked:

      What would you say is the ideal goal for humanity to steer towards?

      To which ChatGPT replied:

      Achieving the ideal goals of prosperity, equity, sustainability, and ethical responsibility requires concerted efforts across multiple fronts, involving governments, businesses, civil society, and individuals. Here are some strategies for accomplishing these goals:

      1. Policy Frameworks: Governments play a crucial role in setting policy frameworks and regulations that promote inclusive growth, social justice, and environmental sustainability. This includes implementing progressive taxation policies, investing in education and healthcare, and enacting environmental regulations to mitigate climate change and protect natural resources.

      2. Investment in Education and Skills Development: Investing in education and skills development is essential for equipping individuals with the knowledge, capabilities, and adaptability needed to thrive in a rapidly changing economy. This includes promoting STEM education, vocational training, and lifelong learning opportunities to empower individuals to participate fully in the digital economy.

      3. Inclusive Economic Development: Promoting inclusive economic development involves creating opportunities for all members of society to participate in and benefit from economic growth. This includes supporting small businesses, entrepreneurs, and marginalized communities, as well as implementing policies to reduce income inequality and promote social mobility.

      4. Technology for Good: Encouraging the responsible development and use of technology, including AI, can help harness its potential for positive impact. This includes investing in research and innovation to develop AI solutions that address pressing societal challenges, such as healthcare, education, climate change, and social equity.

      5. Corporate Social Responsibility: Businesses have a responsibility to operate ethically and sustainably, considering the social and environmental impacts of their operations. Embracing corporate social responsibility (CSR) practices, including fair labor practices, environmental stewardship, and community engagement, can contribute to building a more equitable and sustainable economy.

      6. Global Cooperation: Addressing global challenges such as climate change and inequality requires international cooperation and collaboration. Countries must work together to set ambitious climate targets, promote trade and economic integration, and support development initiatives that prioritize the needs of the most vulnerable populations.

      7. Public Awareness and Engagement: Fostering public awareness and engagement is essential for building support for policies and initiatives that advance the ideal goals of prosperity, equity, sustainability, and ethical responsibility. This includes educating the public about the benefits and risks of AI and technology, promoting civic participation, and empowering individuals to advocate for positive change.

      By implementing these strategies and fostering collaboration across sectors and stakeholders, we can work towards realizing the ideal goals of prosperity, equity, sustainability, and ethical responsibility, creating a better future for all members of society.

      To which I responded:

      Those all sounds very socialistic :D

      ChatGPT in return said:

      Indeed, many of the strategies outlined for achieving the ideal goals of prosperity, equity, sustainability, and ethical responsibility align with principles commonly associated with socialism, such as a focus on social justice, collective welfare, and government intervention to address market failures and promote the common good.

      Socialist ideologies often emphasize the importance of equitable distribution of resources, public ownership of key industries, and government intervention in the economy to ensure that basic needs are met and that everyone has access to essential services such as healthcare, education, and social support.

      While not all the strategies mentioned are exclusively socialist in nature, there is often overlap between socialist principles and policies aimed at promoting inclusive economic development, environmental sustainability, and ethical governance. In practice, countries may adopt a mix of socialist and capitalist policies to address complex socio-economic challenges, drawing on a range of ideological perspectives and pragmatic considerations.

      Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance that maximizes the benefits of economic growth and innovation while ensuring that the gains are shared equitably and that the well-being of people and the planet is safeguarded for future generations.

      I'm not sure where I want to head with this little musing. I just found it interesting enough to share. Thanks for reading!

      4 votes
    35. Asking neighbors to turn down noise

      I am posting to get your opinions on something that happened tonight. Music started blasting from my neighbor’s place at 12-ish with some people screaming. Our corridor has a WhatsApp group and I...

      I am posting to get your opinions on something that happened tonight.

      Music started blasting from my neighbor’s place at 12-ish with some people screaming. Our corridor has a WhatsApp group and I wasn’t 100% sure which neighbor it is so I messaged there at around 12:30am.

      I chose my words to be as polite as possible… dunno if it was polite enough. Something like: hey to the people who are having the party, have fun but please adapt the noise accordingly with the time with a thanks emoji.

      They replied apologetically and added that it was their birthday. Didn’t feel like it was being used as an excuse but more an explanation.

      Thinking maybe I should have let it slide regardless of whether it was their birthday or not but I did wake up exceptionally early this morning and needed some sleep after a hard day’s work.

      Am I being too anal about it? How would you handle such a situation with noise?

      16 votes
    36. Folding bike recommendations

      Hi Tilderinos! I am doing a study abroad program in Bordeaux, France. I am considering buying myself a folding bike for my time there. I just started doing some online research, and Brompton,...

      Hi Tilderinos! I am doing a study abroad program in Bordeaux, France. I am considering buying myself a folding bike for my time there. I just started doing some online research, and Brompton, Tern, and Dahon have popped up so far. The Brompton bikes are a bit more than I really want to spend, but I could spend that much if it was worth it. Do you have any recommendations on brands, models, or things to look for? Thanks!

      9 votes
    37. Where is the best place to find freelance UX/UI designers?

      Historically companies I've been at have had someone on staff, but we're a small startup and looking to get some UX/UI support. All of my googling has lead me to "gig" websites like Upwork or...

      Historically companies I've been at have had someone on staff, but we're a small startup and looking to get some UX/UI support. All of my googling has lead me to "gig" websites like Upwork or Fiver and talking to friends in industry (granted salaried UX/UI folks) have lead me to Linkedin or Indeed. Neither feels like the right place for what we're looking for. Does anyone have an suggestions for finding freelance designers we could work with iteratively? Thanks!

      Context: Our company is rolling our a new platform out to beta users and are looking to refine some of our platform's interface. Mainly we're hoping to polish up some of the more amateur design elements across the platform and get help designing layout for tools/data presentation. We have done a good amount customer research on what folks are looking for, will be getting active feedback after pushing the changes, and are hoping to iterate with said feedback.

      9 votes
    38. Women Who Code shutting down

      There isn't any public announcement yet, but they sent out this email to leadership: Dear Women Who Code Community, It is with a heavy heart that we write to inform you of the difficult decision...

      There isn't any public announcement yet, but they sent out this email to leadership:

      Dear Women Who Code Community,

      It is with a heavy heart that we write to inform you of the difficult decision to close Women Who Code, following a vote by the Board of Directors to dissolve the organization. This decision has not been made lightly. It only comes after careful consideration of all options and is due to a variety of factors that have materially impacted our funding sources. We understand that this news may come as a disappointment, and we want to express our deepest gratitude to each and every one of you who have been a part of our journey.

      As a community, we are powerful. For more than a decade, Women Who Code has created a sense of belonging in tech and support for our community, thanks to the dedication and commitment of our members, volunteers, and staff. We have brought together a vibrant community of over 360,000 technologists who deeply care about building an industry that is more diverse, inclusive, and equitable. We’ve delivered more than 20K community-led events, awarded more than $3.5 million in scholarships, held developer conferences and technical summits in tech hubs around the world, logged more than one million high-skilled, leadership-building volunteer hours, given away more than $2.5 million in conference tickets for broader industry engagement, and shared more than 14K job opportunities. Even more than these trackable outputs, we’ve come together to support each other, navigate the industry as a powerful force, share both technical protips and strategies for rising in our careers, and break barriers.

      While so much has been accomplished, our mission is not complete and our vision of a tech industry where diverse women and historically excluded people thrive at every level is not fulfilled. Despite our collective efforts, the challenges we face have become insurmountable and we must confront that what worked for us is no longer working. We are deeply saddened by the difficult decision to dissolve the organanization.

      As we embark on the process of winding down operations, we are committed to ensuring a smooth transition and fulfilling any remaining obligations to the best of our ability. Unfortunately, we will not be able to continue offering any program services, and will be cancelling all upcoming events. We will be refunding any ticket purchases made by members for our upcoming developer conference, WWCode CONNECT 2024.

      Although this chapter is coming to a close, we believe that the spirit of our community will endure and hope that the relationships and experiences you've gained through your involvement with Women Who Code will continue to inspire you in your future endeavors.

      On behalf of the Board of Directors and staff of Women Who Code, we extend our heartfelt thanks for being part of the movement, and encourage you to continue to seek support from other like-minded organizations who authentically support the careers of women in the tech industry and keep inspiring each other as you navigate the industry. It has been an honor and a privilege to serve the mission, and work alongside such passionate individuals.

      Thank you for your understanding and support during this challenging time.

      39 votes
    39. Personal reflections on Quaker retreat, community, and worship

      Friends believe in peace, kindness, simplicity, listening, non-violence, emotional understanding, activism, continuous learning and revelation, silence, togetherness, the inner light within all...

      Friends believe in peace, kindness, simplicity, listening, non-violence, emotional understanding, activism, continuous learning and revelation, silence, togetherness, the inner light within all people, silent togetherness, friendship, love, respect for life. You may know Friends as Quakers. Some of your children may attend Friends schools. Friends gather at Meeting for Worship. Meeting (unprogrammed) is quiet and contemplative; individual; punctuated by the voice of spirit (you and I); an opportunity to be heard, and not be judged, and to hear, and to not judge; to connect. It is thoughtful, and beautiful, and somber, and joyous. And unlike anything else in my life.

      I attend meeting in a very old house. It is beautiful and smells of ancient wood, with benches far beyond the years of the bricks around them. History runs deep in such spaces. Death, too: it is a burial ground many generations over, but these days we find it to be a garden both literally and otherwise. For a time, this place had dwindled (so I am told), but now it seems fresh and full of life. We come and we sit and we stand and we speak and we sing. The little ones do their best to keep still, but we know they're moved to run about, for that is the way of things. I don't mind. They are our future.

      I was grateful to have been invited by Friends to a retreat out in the country. The residence was rustic and the setting was scenic, calm, and I had been there once for another purpose. I could tell that it was full of meaning. There was space to adventure. I did so. My cohort, which you might broadly call young adult, does not often have space to reveal ourselves. After so many years of repression, we instinctively put up barriers and we forget what it means to really laugh and feel. The goal of the retreat was to provide an open forum for emotional communion, especially getting in touch with who we were (have been), are, and will be. It was not prescriptive. As time passed, our leaders invited two elders to share in and expand our thought with teachings, music, video, movement, objects. Some examples of tone:

      • "Welcome."
      • "Friend speaks my mind."
      • "That of the spirit is within you and I."
      • "You were once very small; smaller than this seed."
      • "Spirit moves me to vocal ministry."
      • "You are among Friends."
      • "What do you think?"
      • "We love you."

      A few specific words stand out to me from the retreat: "BREATHE" "DELIGHT" "LISTEN" "MUSIC" "VISION" "SMALL" "GROW" "THANK YOU" "HELPING" "FRIEND" "FRIENDS" "WORSHIP" "MUSTARD" "LAUGHTER" "JOY" "COMMUNITY" "REVEALING" "HEART" "SING" "SPACE" "CLEAN" "LIGHT" "STARS" "PEACEFUL" "PASTORAL" "WOODPECKER" "SUPPORT" "GREEN" "IDYLLIC" "DOG" "SOCIAL" "WHOLE" "MELANCHOLY" "INTIMATE" "CRY" "HOLD" "BELIEVE" "SEE" "RENEW" "SHARE" "APPRECIATE."

      It is not very often that you meet a group of strangers and in just a few days leave each other with such bright smiles and quite a few hugs. And it is quite a bit rarer for those hugs to be deep, meaningful embraces. To be realistic, you can only get to know fifteen people so well in a weekend, but the grace in which these Friends held each other eased my reservations more than I expected. I am learning to see the light within other people (and within myself) more clearly. I find this highly instructive as well as reassuring.

      There's talk in our society about the absence of community, especially for young people. Economy, government, technology, culture itself seem to disconnect us. Children are pushed too hard and yet they are left behind. I had opportunity in retreat to think about what it means to be a child and what it means to be an adult. I think everyone in our group had a different and personal takeaway on that matter. I also had opportunity to spend time with people who I would verily call role models. They were (are) kind and considerate and it was a gift to be with them, and to be called Friend (and friend).

      I take great comfort in knowing that I have a path of forward support here. I can see myself continue to nurture my emotional maturity among this community, something I think I've neglected until relatively recently. I am grateful that this is not the final time I will see my new friends. We have our entire lives to live. It can be together. Suddenly, I start to see a fullness in the world that I was missing before.

      That's what I wanted to share. Forgive my esoteric sentences: it's challenging to express the feeling of emotional/internal dialogue in conventional language. I'm more than happy to expand on anything I wrote here. I also welcome your reactions and your own experiences with faith of any kind.

      37 votes
    40. Creating an official politics group?

      So this topic is something that could very easily just be bothering myself, but I figured I’d share before unsubscribing to ~misc. If this is the wrong group, I apologize, please feel free to move...

      So this topic is something that could very easily just be bothering myself, but I figured I’d share before unsubscribing to ~misc. If this is the wrong group, I apologize, please feel free to move it to the correct location. I will also preface this by saying I only really view Tildes occasionally, and am not the most active user, so those two things might be contributing to this.

      I am wondering if creating an official Politics group would be beneficial to Tildes. I’ve noticed that the majority of recent posts in ~misc is mostly regarding politics. I don’t want to necessarily just unsubscribe from ~misc, in case something non-political and interesting to myself ends up getting put there, but if that’s the solution I’m more than happy to do it.

      I just figured that with the amount of activity going on there fairly regularly, either a dedicated ~politics group or a sub group (maybe ~misc.politics or ~news.politics?) would be better? That way other users similar to myself could unsubscribe to that instead of unsubscribing to the much broader ~misc group.

      I personally do enjoy the way that Tildes is setup, and don’t see any bad interactions in those posts. It’s definitely more of a personal thing.

      That said, I don’t want to make people think that I’m telling them how things should be run, merely throwing my two cents out there, no matter how worthless they are.

      Thanks to everyone for posting, and to the mods/admin for keeping everything running smoothly. This really is a solid community!

      19 votes
    41. Tildes is changing the way I use and think about online engagement. How about you?

      I'm used to browsing places like reddit, mastodon, kbin.social and midnight.pub. If I'm lucky I can find something lighthearted, witty or interesting. But there's a lot of outrageous posts as well...

      I'm used to browsing places like reddit, mastodon, kbin.social and midnight.pub. If I'm lucky I can find something lighthearted, witty or interesting. But there's a lot of outrageous posts as well as personal ramblings that make the effort feel like a slog.

      I was slow to get into Tildes because I didn't find much "quick hit" posts, such as a good topical quip. I also wasn't as sure how to navigate to places I might want to post. But I did find it very easy to engage with existing posts.

      It's in these existing posts that the transformative stuff happened for me. On other sites, long-form posts were often not in my interest or self-indulgent. But I found myself taking my time here, perhaps guided by the thoughtful comments that I saw already beneath the posts. Looking back, it's like a tone was set that I respected and didn't want to diminish.

      The result is that I find the other sites under-stimulating, in spite of their design. Tildes has been really good for helping me reform my internet habits. I don't have that regret of excessive internet use as much now. Thanks to deimos and everyone on the site that makes it what it is.

      If I miss one thing, it's using my native language. But at the same time, my gut says that things are good just as they are.

      63 votes
    42. I bought a house, now what?

      I posted previously about looking for a house for my disabled partner and myself and after several stressful months we're closing on April 30th! So, now what? I'm working on home insurance quotes,...

      I posted previously about looking for a house for my disabled partner and myself and after several stressful months we're closing on April 30th!

      So, now what? I'm working on home insurance quotes, I have the money arranged for closing. We're in the "these issues need addressed" phase of the contract process (there are no smoke detectors in this house wtf) and the home inspection raised no dealbreakers. No radon or termites.

      So what don't I know about? What new homeowner things do I need to be thinking about now? We plan to move in the latter half of May. Accessibility suggestions are also useful, we're going to have to add a small ramp inside (one step), move a cabinet in the kitchen and replace carpet in the master bedroom.

      Thanks for all the advice last time, please give me more of it?

      54 votes
    43. Feature suggestion: Show the "Post a new topic" button on the front page

      Hi everyone, first of all, thank you for creating and maintaining this site - I don't think I've ever seen a more constructive and friendly general-purpose community online. :) In the last few...

      Hi everyone, first of all, thank you for creating and maintaining this site - I don't think I've ever seen a more constructive and friendly general-purpose community online. :)

      In the last few weeks, after getting access to tildes, I stumbled multiple times over an interesting article that I thought that would fit on Tildes. But I didn't see a button to post it on here. I assumed it has to be something related to rating or account age. I was wondering how long it would take. Maybe a month?

      The volume of posts here is pretty low, so I never saw a reason to visit one of the groups - I only visited the front page. Only now I found out, that the button to post something is only visible if the user is currently on the page of a group.

      I don't know if this happened to someone else, but I personally find it really unintuitive that there isn't a button on the front page to post a topic. Reddit, Lemmy, Discourse etc. all have it like that.

      Did anyone have a similar experience? Or was this a concious choice?

      20 votes
    44. How did you decide on a daycare for your small child/children?

      Hello, I hope this is the right place for this kind of question. I've thought about posting it for a few weeks now but didn't know whether I should or not. My wife has recently opened a small home...

      Hello, I hope this is the right place for this kind of question. I've thought about posting it for a few weeks now but didn't know whether I should or not.

      My wife has recently opened a small home daycare. We tailored everything to what we would look for if we needed daycare for our child, which was a small class size (5 children max), fully licensed and compliant with all local and state laws (which a lot of other places aren't), plenty of safe indoor and outdoor space (including a whole damn playground), and a learning-based curriculum rather than just babysitting. We have gotten a couple of people to sign up, but are having a rough time attracting more. Some people message us to ask questions, but then never reply when we provide answers. We've tried lowering our prices a bit to get started, and we're very flexible when it comes to time and needs.

      So I'm just wondering, for any parents out there who have or have had small children and needed daycare, how did you decide on a place? Where/how did you find this place? And what about it stood out to you? Was it the price? Location? Recommendation of a close friend?

      Any insight would be appreciated, thanks.

      19 votes
    45. Why do some people posting ChatGPT answer to the discussion/debate/question?

      This behaviour is thankfully not common on tildes? But like, I understand that if they try to pass off as their own argument. But what with the preface "I ask ChatGPT" and then end with "I don't...

      This behaviour is thankfully not common on tildes? But like, I understand that if they try to pass off as their own argument. But what with the preface "I ask ChatGPT" and then end with "I don't know enough about topic" or "What do you think". What do they think how that contribute to the discussion? If OP want to ask ChatGPT-like answer, they can just log on and do it right there and then. And they clearly know the stigma and drawback of it (at least I hope so), but still believe it has enough factual information in the answer despite having little or no knowledge of the topic in question (Otherwise they will edit the output or outright just provide it).

      (Sorry, if this come out not clearly, I am not very good as convey my idea, even in my native language)

      37 votes
    46. Trip report Death Valley - Ash Meadows wildlife refuge

      We are just back from a first ever trip to Death valley national Park to check out the wild flowers. We saw fields carpeted in bright yellow. We also saw more sparse purple flowers. We also drove...

      We are just back from a first ever trip to Death valley national Park to check out the wild flowers.

      We saw fields carpeted in bright yellow. We also saw more sparse purple flowers. We also drove through areas of the park that were as dry and dessicated as you can imagine. This is the wettest season of the year and it is still the desert.

      Some of the highlights for me were the rock formations. We had planned a second day to explore more and hike, but weather prevented it. We still saw very impressive sights. Shout-out to a helpful ranger at the information desk who helped us choose.

      One of the best experiences was outside the park. We would have missed this entirely without advice from Tildes. We visited Ash Meadows wildlife refuge where we saw the pupfish. We also saw a roadrunner, a large grey snake on the road, (we were driving) and a very pale raptor, possibly an osprey.

      Thank you @chromebby and @worldasis.

      Thanks also @skybrian. We drove through Panamint but stayed in Tecopa.

      Death valley has not changed my top three so far US national parks but it is beautiful and impressive. I would go back to explore more but not in summer.

      17 votes
    47. What are some of your favorite PlayStation 1 games? Any odd or unique ones worth playing?

      Hi y'all, I owned a PlaySation as a kid, but I don't remember playing it much. I was much more stuck to my Nintendo 64 playing Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, and MegaMan 64. Well, I got it in my...

      Hi y'all,

      I owned a PlaySation as a kid, but I don't remember playing it much. I was much more stuck to my Nintendo 64 playing Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, and MegaMan 64.

      Well, I got it in my head that I wanted to play MegaMan Legends 2, which only came out on PlaySation as far as I can tell. I've started playing through MegaMan Legends again before I get to the sequel, and I'm having a really good time.

      I was hoping I could hear form y'all about some of your favorite games so I could dip my toes deeper into the PS1 library. What are some of your favorites? Anything particularly odd, unique, or with a very specific point of view? I'll try any genre. Some games I've dabbled with or had my eye on to play: Parasite Eve, Vagrant Saga, Xenogears, Koudelka, and most notably perhaps, Metal Gear Solid. I've never played any Metal Gear games, but the story and world building is so interesting from what I know about it that I really want to give it a try. Also, if anyone knows of some cool Japanese only fan-translate games, would really love to hear about those.

      tldr: favorite ps1 game? any weirdo shit i should play?

      edit 03/31: the love for ps1 is HUGE. thanks to everyone for all of the great responses. will respond in time. been taking time to sample a bunch of these. my experience with tildes's gaming community has been awesome.

      49 votes
    48. Given the well-known difficulties for men to maintain friendships as they age, has anyone managed to make new friends after their 40s?

      dear mods A lack in friendships is a well-known issue that affects adult males in particular. Please don't move this post to ~life. Thanks. As I age, my ambivalence towards social interactions...
      dear mods

      A lack in friendships is a well-known issue that affects adult males in particular. Please don't move this post to ~life. Thanks.

      As I age, my ambivalence towards social interactions becomes clearer. I can't really sustain the doom and gloom facade, as it is entirely obvious that, if I ever achieve "solitary utopia", the first thing I would do would be to find someone to talk about how great it is to be alone.

      I used to have an awesome way to do things where I saw my friends 5 or 6 times a year. It was enough for me. Unfortunately, that group is imploding since mid-pandemic, and I don't think there's a way back.

      This is made worse by the fact that most men I know are either completely ignorant, downright hostile, or intentionally removed from anything relating kids or fatherhood. Sometimes it feels like I am carrying some kind of virus, and spending time with me will make them become fathers by association.

      It's hard to not feel jealous of the kind of support my wife gets from her female friends.

      Given the current situation, I feel inclined to ask. Has anyone managed to make meaningful friendships in their 40s or early 30s? And by that I don't mean just someone to play videogames with, but someone with whom you can share stuff?

      I am not really opposed to friendships with women, but that is kinda covered already.

      49 votes
    49. Went on another scenic bike ride

      Comment box Scope: personal anecdote, some thoughts Tone: neutral/positive with some grumbling Opinion: yes Sarcasm/humor: a tad Last week I talked about a bike ride I took along the Schuylkill...
      Comment box
      • Scope: personal anecdote, some thoughts
      • Tone: neutral/positive with some grumbling
      • Opinion: yes
      • Sarcasm/humor: a tad

      Last week I talked about a bike ride I took along the Schuylkill River in eastern Pennsylvania.

      This weekend I rode as far as I could along the Delaware & Lehigh canal trail which parallels the Delaware River, also in eastern Pennsylvania. It is a pleasant, low-traffic, and scenic route for much of the journey. I found myself at peace and grateful that I had this opportunity. It was a zen experience.

      Starting in Yardley-borough, I got about 31 miles before I could not go any farther. This was mostly because I started very late in the afternoon instead of in the morning, so it got dark and cold before I could get to the end. Also I was exhausted because I had not rested much. I think that, physically, I could go farther if I allocated more time to it. The trail is about 60 miles from Bristol to the easternmost of the Lehigh Valley cities. That is probably the maximum distance I could personally travel in 1 day on my bicycle. (I hear there is also a trail that follows the Lehigh River west-ish toward Bethlehem; I am not sure if it goes all the way to Allentown. I have not investigated this yet.)

      Next time I will aim for about 45-50 miles by starting earlier in the day. My main physical issue is that I get tired, so I need at least one extended recovery break. Surprisingly, there was not too much strain on my back. I suppose it helped that I was not wearing a backpack and instead used a bike attachment for my supplies. I do have trouble with the aggressive forward position in terms of my wrists, though I find that if I hold myself up with my core where possible, that can take the pressure off my joints. Shoulder soreness is usually a problem while I cycle but I was careful to stretch and stay relaxed which I think helped. I did not have any knee problems. I did cut my finger open on a fence, which was not ideal as I had forgotten to bring first aid supplies, but it was minor and the moving air seemed to dry the scab faster. Thankfully it was not infected.

      Some other notes about my ride:

      • I saw a fox. Deer were plentiful and I almost collided with one (more than once: it seemed to be unsure which side of the trail it wanted to be on). I also saw many geese and several ducks, as well as other birds. Lastly, I saw various dogs.
      • It is remarkable how people engage with you in the country. I forget these things now, though deep down they are not foreign; my soul remembers old habits. There is much more trust, or respect. Perhaps that is because I do not look like an 'outsider' (or I do, but not threateningly so). But it was nice to be acknowledged, even in passing, rather than ignored. While I did notice some unsavory political messaging, it was minimal; overall I felt safe.
      • This time I brought plenty of food and water, as well as some extra clothing in case I got stuck and needed to stay warm until I found shelter. But while this area is rural, it is far from isolated, so I was not so worried. I did bring a telephone, but I did not need it.
      • There were several closures on the trail in areas that were not easy to reroute. The Google Map did not inform me of the closures. I was going north, and for some reason the only signage signifying some of the closures at the previous canal/road crossings was going southbound. This meant that when I encountered a closure, I was stuck; backtracking would have been a few miles in some cases, and double that to get back to my current location (a lot of lost time/energy, and demotivating). To get around this, I simply evaded the barriers (there was no active construction) to move forward, which involved getting muddy. (There was no physical danger to my doing so. Just mud. A lot of mud.) That is not allowed, but I was not going to risk my life on the nearby 55mph roads. I think it is very weird how much effort local towns make to provide drivers with clear detour information and easy alternatives, but how little effort they make for cyclists. Like, there is only one canal trail. How hard could it be to put up a sign? If it was there, it evidently wasn't visible...
      • I experienced several barriers which I did not attempt to evade; I followed the signed detours. Some bridges had been demolished, or fallen apart, and I was not going to try to fly over them. I cannot walk on air. Swimming with a bicycle is also not realistic. Fortunately, those cases happened to be areas with very slow car traffic, or almost no car traffic at all, so I was able to find safe routings along roads.
      • I only had one vehicle pass me too close. I was nearly driven off the road, which would have sent me down a hill, but fortunately retained my balance. It was luck that this only happened once; the areas of the trail which happened to be impassable to my bicycle were also areas with low and slow traffic. I am annoyed that this driver was so careless, but that was the worst I had it.
      • There was at least one point where the trail had to cross a road for cars and I did not realize this, so I ended up following the road instead, a little confused how I could have lost something as linear and unmoving as a canal. For some reason the canal goes inland in some areas. But I think getting lost is not uncommon because I found signage pointing me back to it.
      • Several of the towns along the route were extremely cute and I regret that I was not able to spend more time in them. My favorite, New Hope, is utterly disconnected from any sort of transit (and thus I will only ever be able to get there by bike), but it was really, really pretty and ABSOLUTELY BUSTLING with pedestrians. I was pleased with how non-car-dominated it was. There was also what appeared to be a historic (replica? not sure...) train, but I do not think it offers passenger service. (The railroad tracks still physically exist, but they are either only used for freight, or not used for anything at all.) I think I will return to New Hope in the future.
      • Several of the houses, not in towns exactly, along the route were also very cute. They reflected a variety of architectural styles, but most were neohistorical in some way and many were actually historical going back a century or more. The area seems to have a decent amount of respect for its roots (compared to many places in the US), although admittedly much of the cuteness of a house is taken away when it is right next to a road featuring 50mph traffic, so this was not universal by any means.

      The canal itself was full of water in some areas and empty in others. I could not identify a pattern. Proximity to towns, proximity to construction, width, etc... seemed a little random which parts would be dry. So the canal is not navigable for many miles, and you would need to portage frequently if you were to try to boat up it. But it would be possible for many other miles. The Delaware itself is a monster and after looking closely at the flow rate, I could tell it would be foolhardy to attempt to paddle upstream the river.

      I want to take a rest this weekend, so I don't have a date for my next long ride. TBH, I am far more interested in the D&L than the Schuylkill, but it is so much harder to get to. We will see.

      15 votes